


Absolution Comes From Within

by Khawapashi



Series: Corruption, Absolution and Destiny [2]
Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Adult Content, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apprentices Everywhere, BDSM, Devoted Reylo, Dom/sub, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Choke, Force Ghosts, Force Knights, Force Visions, Gray Jedi, Inappropriate Use of Lightsabers, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kinky stuff, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Lots of OC - Freeform, M/M, More Apprentices, Post TLJ, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Is Still a Badass, Reylo - Freeform, Sexual Slavery, Smut, Weird Force Magic, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-04-27 20:51:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 187,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14433834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khawapashi/pseuds/Khawapashi
Summary: Part Two of Corruption, Absolution and Destiny series. Lots of plot, but I'm still focusing on Rey and Ben (mostly). Smut, but sometimes it has to take a backseat because I worked really hard on this plot, okay? Hux is still out there, probably making really nasty plans. Rose has a secret. Chewie and Poe maybe get some dates? Peace with the Resistance maybe? Where did all these apprentices come from? Lots of cameos and references to other cannon characters from Rebels, Clone Wars and the Aftermath novels. Idk how Sabine and Ezra became so important, but that's what happens when you write 40+ chapters.There are lots of OC from here on out... I am kinda nervous about them, because I know it can be jarring to have a bunch of non-cannon characters in a fanfic, but I am trying to practice my fiction skills in the hopes of making some fully original work one day, so... IDK, if you have thoughts, I'm happy to have feedback :)In a darker note, there is a lot of really awful villians, slavery, violence, the myriad complications that come with using the power of the dark side, and other very adult scenes. Specific trigger warnings will continue before each chapter.





	1. Master Solo Returns

**Author's Note:**

> Once more, at the outset - this fic has very graphic depictions of sex slavery, violence, awful villains, and mentions of rape/noncon.
> 
> That said, I try for happy endings, so just keep in mind everyone is going to get what they deserve eventually, and it be very gratifying.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yay, chapter one smutty goodness!
> 
> Also, Ben brought some things back from Taris. Like a renewed sense of guilt. And some lightsabers. And a stowaway...?

         She tried to maintain her calm exterior, but she wanted to tackle him the second he reached the end of the shuttle ramp. She was distracted momentarily by the girl who walked behind him, a Twi’lek with pale blue-green skin and unusual round eyes. She walked with caution, but her eyes darted around curiously, even as she rested a hand on the pistol prominently displayed on her hip.

            But Rey didn't care about the girl. She only had eyes for one thing. She dropped to one knee, bowing her head respectfully, but he immediately reached out and stroked her face so that she looked up at him.

           “Welcome back, Master Solo.”

           There was some whispering in the ranks across the hangar, but Rey was prepared. She had explained the situation to Commander Sloane, and she had Genji and Kirin to back her up.

          He seized hold of her arm behind the elbow and pulled her up, then wrapped her in a crushing, emotional embrace.

_Everyone can see us._

_Let them._ _I'm done pretending to care._

          He let her go and stepped forward to greet their students, both of whom dropped to one knee respectfully, murmuring their welcomes.

        “Rise, please.” He met Genji’s eye and smiled easily. “I hear you're doing well at melee practice.”

         “ _I a_ _m working hard_ ,” the Wookie warbled humbly.

          Ben turned to Kirin, who met his gaze for a solid moment before flushing and looking away.

          “And I hear you have a talent for mind-reading.”

          “It's more like… emotion-reading. It's hard to control.” She glanced at Rey, who nodded encouragingly. “Excuse me, Master, but… You seem different.”

         He inclined his head, the corner of his mouth twitching in a faint smile.

         “Very good. I am different.” He turned to face his officers, headed by Commander Sloane. Rey could feel his anxiety, and she projected calm and warmth.

_You can do this_.

          Sloane saluted smartly.

          “Welcome back, sir.”

         “Anything to report, Commander?”

         “Nothing urgent, sir. I've sent you a copy of Phasma’s most recent briefing. The traitor Hux's forces are still in the Jakku system, but there's been no change in his activity. We believe they're still searching for an entrance to the core.”

         “And the negotiations with the Resistance?”

        The officer's gaze flickered to Rey, as if asking permission before continuing. She inclined her head, listening carefully.

         “General Dameron has suggested meeting on Kashyyk. We're still negotiating the details.”

         He nodded.

        “Keep me updated.”

        “Yes, sir.”

        “Have we narrowed down any contractors for new cruisers yet?”

        Rey turned away as Ben continued discussing the plans for a new fleet with his officers, spying his young companion standing awkwardly at the foot of the ramp. She walked forward and offered her hand.

         “Hi, I'm Rey.”

          The other girl shook her hand warmly, then surprised Rey by drawing her into a quick hug.

          “We're almost family, you know,” she whispered conspiratorially.

          Rey drew back, frowning. She had a strange feeling the girl was disappointed.

          “I'm sorry, I don't-”

          “I'm Pashi. Pashi Baasen.” She gestured to the sky-blue embroidered belt Rey wore as a sash across her body. “You must be very close with my godmother.”

          She blinked in surprise, taking in the Twi'lek’s dark human eyes and the tooled violet belt holding the blaster she carried on her hip. She recognized the Wookie’s fine design.

         “Khawapashi is your godmother?”

         “You called it.” She gave Rey a once-over with her eyes, leaning forward and running her fingers over the braided leather in a way that made her suddenly very uncomfortable. “I think yours might be better than mine.”

          The girl’s wink told her she wasn't just referring to the belt. Rey’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth, prepared to say something she would most likely regret, when she felt Ben come up beside her.

         “Nice to see you getting along with our new student.”

         She was so relieved to hear his voice, she instinctively leaned into him. He rested his hand lightly on her lower back, along the curve of her spine, and she looked up at him with affection and gratitude. She noticed Pashi's face fell slightly.

         “Turns out that your new student is my friend Khawapashi’s goddaughter. Small galaxy, isn't it?”

          Her voice sounded crisp, even to her, but she kept her expression mild. The girl was her own age, if somewhat less mature, and she was just flirting in what was intended to be a harmless manner. She couldn't know how Rey loathed that kind of suggestive banter, how she had fought off so many arrogant, entitled spacers on Jakku with the same sort of swagger.

_Put your arm around me in the most possessive way possible, right now._

_What?_

_Do you really need a reason?_

         He slipped his arm inside her cloak and wrapped it around her waist, his hand spread over her hip, drawing her against him. Rey smiled at Pashi coolly as she turned her head to summon the other two students.

          “Genji, do you know Pashi Baasen?”

          The Wookie warbled excitedly, pulling the startled young woman into a furry hug, but she laughed when he lifted her off her feet.

          _“Little Pashi, you were so tiny when I saw you last! Shall I carry you on my shoulders again_?”

          “Genji, you idiot! Put me down right now!” She giggled as he settled her on her feet. “‘Little,’ really? I'm older than you, furball! I heard you were here serving Kylo Ren and I had to come make sure you were safe!”

           “By sneaking aboard my ship,” Ben murmured in Rey’s ear. They watched as Genji introduced his ‘cousin’ to the shyly intrigued Kirin. “The Lord of Taris’ daughter.”

           “Kayt Baasen? I thought he was human.”

           She watched the students with interest. Pashi and the Wookie did seem to know each other fairly well.

          “His wife is a Twi'lek. It's not unheard of.”

         “What are we going to do with three apprentices?”

         Kirin was smiling, and the two girls hugged, Kirin’s brilliant eyes widened as the outgoing Pashi whispered something in her ear. When they parted, Rey paid close attention to the way their hands lingered. She could feel Ben’s sudden startlement over the bond, and she glanced up to see him frowning slightly.

_Did you see…?_

_Oh, believe me, I saw it._

_Is that why you-?_

_Yes._

_They're too young for_ -

          She turned and looked at him, and she could tell this was going to be an issue. Rey breathed deeply, settling her thoughts. He could be positively blind sometimes, especially when he thought he was in the right. And she had an uncomfortable idea where this line of discussion was headed.

         “Too young for what?” She asked archly.

          He frowned down at her in confusion, and she rolled her eyes. He was ten years her senior, better-trained and battle-hardened, but he had woeful gaps in the more practical areas of life.

          “They're teenagers. Practically children.” His voice was dismissive.

          Rey steeled herself. Oh, yeah, this was not going to be fun.

         “I'm nineteen, Ben. Pashi and I are the same age. Kirin may be younger, but she was a _bedroom_ slave. I think she has the right to pursue whatever she wants."

         Rey watched the expressions play across his face as he processed her words. She could sense the sudden conflict of emotion that came over him, and she was prepared for the guilty look in his eyes as he searched her face. Her heart fell when he let go of her waist suddenly, his eyes wide on hers.

          “Oh, Maker. Rey. I didn't…” He ran his hands through his hair, a nervous gesture she hadn't seen before. “I was so selfish. I… Can you… forgive me?”

          She shook her head, grabbing his hands and holding them tightly as she held his gaze. Kirin was right. She had sensed some change in him when they'd talked through the Force bond before he left Taris, but she hadn't really understood how much. It was going to take a while for her to get to know this strange, thoughtful, brooding man who had thrown off the chains of Kylo Ren.

          “What specifically should I be forgiving you for? Kidnapping me from Takodana? Invading my mind so carelessly you awoke a power I'd never dreamed I had? Turning me in to Snoke when we both could have died? Firing at me in the Falcon after you'd just saved my life and you thought I'd rejected you?”

          “I… All of that, yes.” He hung his head, his hands loose in hers. “But, I wasn't thinking of that. I just… I didn't even ask your age before we-”

         “Oh.” She scowled, taking his face and forcing him to meet her eyes. “So, it's just taking my innocence that you're apologizing for? Do you think so little of me?”

        “What? No, I-”

        “Stop. Just stop.”

        She put two fingers to his lips, looking around the hangar for a more private space. This was not a conversation she wanted to have in public, and people were starting to notice.

         There was a small service elevator behind the landing docks that stopped on the residential floor, and she dragged him over to it and pushed the button. As soon as it came, she Force-pushed him inside, against the wall, and pressed her body up against his, showering his face and neck with kisses in between her words.

          “I came to you... because I love you. I had sex with you because... I wanted to. You have no idea how much I wanted you. I'll be honest, you've done a lot of things to be sorry for, but… I forgave you a long time ago. And I can't forgive you for taking something I gave you of my own free will.”

          She paused to capture his eyes, so open and vulnerable she could hardly breathe. Oh, she was going to enjoy getting to know him all over again. In fact…

          She stepped backwards and hit the stop button on the elevator.

         “Just like I'm giving you this now,” she whispered.

         His eyes widened as she gave him a sly smile and advanced, drawing his head down and claiming his lips with renewed fervor. He opened his mouth willingly for her when she ran her tongue along his bottom lip, and she proceeded to explore in earnest, relaxing against him when he finally wrapped his arms around her and gave in to his own desire, returning her heated kisses with his own.

         His hands cupped the back of her head, fingers threaded through her loose hair, and slowly he moved his lips down her jaw and neck, leaving a trail of warmth across her skin. She moaned and pushed herself back, her hands deftly unfastening his belt and outer tunic so she could slip her questing fingers under his clothes and feel the skin of his back.

         “Great Force, I missed you,” she murmured in his ear, her palms gliding over his body as he nipped at her neck and shoulder.

        “It wasn't even a week,” he protested mildly.

        “Yes, but before that, I was on Kashyyyk.”

         He brought his mouth back to her lips again and she joyfully welcomed his kisses, catching his lip between her teeth and sucking on it gently. He groaned, his hands sliding down beneath her bottom, and she knew what was coming next. He lifted her, gripping the underside of her thighs, as she straddled his waist. When he leaned back against the wall for support, adjusting her weight, she felt his erection press between her legs, and they both gasped.

        “Here?” She murmured.

        “Wherever you want.”

         It hadn't been her intention, exactly, but the memory of another elevator only a few months ago, when they had exchanged such heated gazes, but never touched, filled her with longing. She let her cloak fall to the floor, followed by the belt that held her lightsaber, and her long, loose tunic. He showered her skin with hot, needy kisses, sucking and nibbling on her neck and earlobe, and the sensation was so intense, she reached out for his mind, finding him seeking hers at the same moment.

         The heat that swelled within her was almost unbearable combined with what poured out from him. He let her down only for a moment, so she could slide off her pants and underthings and she helped him free his hard, twitching length, wrapping her fingers around it and stroking up and down in slow movements meant to antagonize him.

          He groaned, quickly lifting her again, both of them desperate for completion now, and she held him to her entrance while he adjusted his balance and gently lowered her down. He was using the Force to help hold her up, and when she felt it surge through her she closed her eyes and leaned her head against his neck, trembling.

          “Still sorry?” Her voice was low and hoarse.

         “A little.”

         She shifted, tightening around him, and he groaned wildly.

        “Then you can make it up to me.” She traced her tongue down from his jaw to his shoulder and whispered in his ear. “Every night. Daytime, too. Whenever you're feeling guilty, really.”

        “Rey. Oh, Rey,” he murmured reverently in her ear, burying his face in her hair.

       “Promise me. For every sin you've committed against me, this is your penance.”

       “Yes,” he nibbled gently at her neck, lifting her so he could move inside of her. She gasped and pressed her nails into his skin. “Whenever you want. I am yours to command.”

       “Then make love to me,” she ordered softly.

        He finally relaxed fully, obeying with reverent determination. Rey whimpered, overwhelmed by the glorious warmth of joining they had both craved the moment he stepped off his ship. He kissed and nipped and licked her skin and she clung to his shoulders, dragging her mouth down the line of his scar.

        Slowly, he thrust into her, and she moaned and sobbed his name, moving her body so she could feel him better, feeling a sweet, insistent friction against the sensitive front of her sex. With their minds so thoroughly open, she could feel a new emotion from him, a fragile, affectionate feeling that she explored, drawing him into her, needing to know every part of him.

         He was gentle, but strong and heated, his thrusts building until she was writhing desperately against him, nearly to the point of delirium before her climax overcame her. He gave a feral growl as he burst inside her a moment after, and she had to grab them both quickly under her own Force power when his muscles slackened.

        He gasped at the added sensation, the Force flowing through them both under her control, and his fingers dug into her thighs, the pain and pleasure shared between them. And then they were there, in the apex of their joining, the pure, bright warmth that surrounded them.

        Somehow, Rey thought it was brighter and hotter this time, so intense she felt as if she had broken apart and come back together differently, with pieces of Ben Solo that were now part of her, solidifying and strengthening her, body and soul.

        “Ben.” She rested her head against his shoulder, breathing in his scent, her face curtained by the soft waves of his ebony hair. “I didn't think I could ever love anyone like this. There's nothing I couldn't forgive you for. Nothing.”

         She hummed unhappily when he let her down, and he pulled her into his arms again and stroked her hair to soothe her.

         “I know. I know,” he said softly. He cupped her face in his hands, his dark eyes sorrowful. “I've been so selfish. I could only think in terms of conquest. I wanted you to be mine. Alone. I didn't care if you had to leave your friends. I thought they weren't good enough for you.”

          “We can't change the past,” she replied firmly. “ _Any_ of it. Your family failed you. Snoke manipulated and abused you. I was determined not to. My friends… the Resistance, Luke, your mother… I was never myself there. I was so alone, so desperate to belong. But with you, I wasn't afraid. I should have been, but you were inside my mind already. There was nothing left to hide.”

           He kissed her softly, and she felt the wetness of tears dripping onto her face. She held him with all her strength.

          “I thought Snoke would give you to me. I know how it sounds. I knew you wanted to rescue me. I didn't believe it was possible, but if you were with me, at least my existence would be… bearable. But you did more than just make it bearable,” his voice cracked slightly with emotion. “You gave me a purpose. Rey. My life belongs to you. Whatever you want, wherever you go… I will be at your side for as long as you will have me.”

          She could feel the purity of his devotion. It had started in Snoke’s chamber, tempered by the trials they faced together, and grown into an overpowering force, a promise for a shared future. Their destiny was always meant to be shared.

         She leaned in to kiss him again, her fingers caressing the scar across his face.

         “Forever. I want you by my side forever.”

         Their eyes met, and then she couldn't help herself. She giggled. And the way his eyes lit up at the sound of her laughter was breathtaking.

         “What?”

         “I really hope no one is trying to use this elevator.”

        “This is my ship. I can do as I please.”

        She laughed more as she slowly dressed herself, grimacing at all the moisture of their bodies clinging to the fabric. Thankfully she had a cloak to wrap around her while they dashed to their rooms.

       “I knew that arrogance was still in there somewhere.” She smirked as his eyes narrowed, but noticed that the light was still there, beautiful and fragile and _hers_.


	2. Lightsabers and Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey lays down some harsh lessons on an unsuspecting, cocky apprentice, while Finn and Poe stumble onto a droid quarrel.
> 
> You gotta love R2 having its own plans. Who even owns it anymore anyway? Does it matter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little scene between R2 and BB-8 makes me giggle every time I go over it.

          “Stop just blocking!” 

          She was holding back, despite the hour they'd been sparring, using her staff to fend off his strikes, but never pressing the advantage of its superior reach. Ben had yet to master the technique of fighting with two blades, he knew he was clumsy, overcommitting with the smaller blade of his newly-crafted weapon in his left hand, unbalanced with the heavy weight of his old saber in his right. 

          Rey, on the other hand, wielded her staff with masterful precision, having adapted her previous skill with the weapon quickly to the lighter, slim blades of her light weapon. She had considerable skill with the single-bladed end as well, though she had only used it once during their match. They were both winded, perspiration glinting on bare skin, hair falling limp around their faces. He was bare-chested and still felt overheated, and she wore only her slim leggings and the wrappings binding her breasts, her shoulders and arms bare.

        “Then come at me like you mean it!” Her face was flushed, stray hair sticking to her temples. 

         She was so careless with her beauty, completely unconscious of how the curves of her body were shockingly visible, or the effect her heaving chest and intense gaze evoked in him. He was reminded of the night he awoke to see her just leaving the shower, and the vision when she had caught him half-naked by accident, how her eyes widened before she desperately tried to hide her face . 

         Occasionally he caught her gaze drifting over him now, but he was sure his eyes showed even less discipline. So much of her flesh was bare, and his tongue danced against the top of his mouth, imaging the salted taste of her skin. Part of him wanted to throw her to the ground and make love to her right there, in the middle of the training room before their apprentices.

          He raised his red saber over his head, coming down on her with his superior physical strength, the onslaught forcing her to slide backwards as she raised her staff, parrying on the right. He growled in disgust and twisted, coming up underneath with his green saber, but she raised her knee and kicked it out of his hand.  Before he could call it back, she dropped her parry, whirling inward beneath his raised arm, and slammed her elbow into his chest hard enough to knock the wind out of him. He stepped backward, and felt heat on the sweat-soaked skin of his neck, the blue light of her blade glinting in her eyes.

       He powered down his saber, and Rey shook her head and switched hers off as well, turning towards where Genji and the girls watched while Ben collected his second saber. Well, they were supposed to be watching, and the Wookie was, but Kirin sat cross-legged on the ground with glazed disinterest, while Pashi leaned against the wall above her, her back towards them, talking animatedly. 

       “Pashi!” Rey snapped. 

         The scavenger lord’s daughter turned slowly, and Ben almost winced, seeing the way Rey stopped, her stance wide and her accent especially sharp. 

         “Seen plenty of lightsaber battles, have you? Nothing new to learn?”

         “I'm sorry, but what are we supposed to learn from  _ watching? _ ”

         It was the wrong thing to say. He might have felt sorry for her, if she hadn't brought it completely upon herself.

       “Oh, you want to participate, do you?” 

        Ben caught the look of horror Genji was giving his ‘cousin’ as he walked over to stand behind Rey. He noticed the hybrid girl’s body language shift when she saw him, and he thought briefly that perhaps it was best to let Rey handle her. 

         She had no interest in Ben sexually, which for Pashi basically meant no interest in him as a person  _ period _ . He might as well have been a piece of training gear for all the attention she paid him. Still, while Rey was doing quite well dressing her down, he had an idea. He walked to the storage locker where he kept his gear, and took out one of the two white lightsabers he had been keeping safe since he got back from Taris.

       “No combat training?” Rey was saying as he came back. She pointed at the blaster on Pashi’s belt with the hilt of her weapon. “Is that just a decoration, then?”

       “No, I can use it,” the girl insisted. “I'm the best marksman on Taris.”

       Genji and Kirin  _ both _ winced, and Ben smirked. 

       “Come on then,” Rey invited, backing away a few feet. “Let's see it.”

         Pashi looked around, but the other apprentices refused to meet her gaze, while Ben just stared back, a faintly amused smirk at the corner of his lips. He leaned against the back wall to watch.

         “You want me to shoot you?”

         “I'd do what she wants,” Ben suggested calmly. 

         The apprentice glanced between him and Rey, but neither were inclined to offer her any way out.  Kirin and Genji just watched in silent fascination, like they were witnessing a Star Destroyer break apart, horrified but unable to look away. She shrugged.

         “Okay, fine, but don't get mad when you get hurt.”

         “I'll risk it,” Rey replied sarcastically, while Ben folded his arms and snickered.

         Pashi unholstered her weapon and aimed at Rey, still looking around uncertainly. Ben inclined his head when she turned to him again after receiving no quarter from Rey.

         “Aim true,” he advised, noting her slightly uneven stance.

        “You're all crazy. Okay, I'm going to shoot now. Seriously.”

        “That's the point,” Rey quipped impatiently. 

        She held her own weapon loosely in her hand. Pashi shook her head and raised her left hand to steady her aim. Rey’s blade powered on a fraction of a second after she squeezed the trigger, deflecting the bolt lazily.

       “No, fire  _ at  _ me.”

      Ben watched, smiling, as the girl adjusted her aim, becoming more and more desperate as Rey’s staff spun, deflecting every shot. She moved forward, circling around, forcing Pashi to try to turn and face her while keeping up steady fire.

      Eventually, it was over, and Pashi's blaster lay on the ground, sheared in two, while the girl was cursing and hissing in pain, shaking her hand where a tiny burn scored the tip of her trigger finger. Her eyes teared up, though whether it was pain or humiliation was unclear. It was a very minor wound, so Ben was inclined to believe it was mostly the latter.

       “Pashi,” he called, catching her attention and tossing Ahsoka’s shorter saber to her. Surprisingly, she caught it, showing better reflexes than he gave her credit for. Then again, she had been working a busy cantina when he met her, so she must have reasonably quick wits. 

      She powered it on and twisted her wrist, testing the grip with the clumsiness of someone who had never handled a sword of any kind. A lightsaber was as dangerous to the untrained user as it was to any potential enemy, but he had to know if she could adapt, and if her Force ability extended beyond bar-room parlour tricks.

         Rey walked around her, adjusting her stance, showing her how to grip it for greater control. Pashi was quiet for once, humbled by the destruction of her blaster, and Ben noted with interest that she listened without hostility, holding no anger despite her public embarrassment. Eventually, Rey set her to work with Kirin, slicing thin wooden blocks the pink-skinned apprentice levitated and flung at her. She came back to stand next to him, and they both watched the girls appraisingly.

          “Kirin's control is getting better,” he said after a long moment. Rey nodded her agreement, but he sensed her mind was worried. 

          “Was I too hard on Pashi? I shouldn't have let myself get angry.”

          “No. She had it coming. Anger can be a useful tool.”

          “Hmm. Maybe you should meditate on that thought yourself.” When he looked down in surprise, he found her warm hazel eyes sincere. “I know you're afraid, Ben. But if you want to learn how to use that thing, you've got to put in the effort.”

          “I know.” 

          He sighed, looking down at the smaller saber hilt on the right side of his belt. He had told only Rey of the significance of the hilt, and he intended to keep it that way. It was a fairly uncomplicated design, and with its green blade, no one would expect its sordid history.

         “We can't train together. Not effectively. I love it, I love watching you, but it's foolish to even pretend that it's real.”

          “You’re right.” She watched Pashi and Kirin thoughtfully. Then she backed away from him, igniting her blue saber. “For now though, at least it's exercise.”

_  Fun exercise _ . He let his thoughts bleed over the bond and she favored him with a sly smile, her sparkling eyes seductive. 

_ Oh, well in that case… loser is on top? _

__ He smirked, swinging his fiery red blade lazily.

_ If you wanted me on top of you that badly, you only had to ask. _

 

           “They promised a minimal force,” Poe repeated for what might be the tenth time just today. “You know the Wookies will enforce it.”

           “No, we don't know that,” Finn insisted. 

           He could not believe the rumors when he first heard them, but they turned out to be true. When Chewie explained that the elders on Kashyyyk had allowed one of their children to go train with Kylo Ren, he had assumed they were pressured into it. He still couldn't believe that it was  _ Rey _ who convinced them. Rey who came to kidnap the child. 

          “Kylo Ren is holding one of their kids hostage! Who knows what he's going to do to him!”

          “We're the ones who suggested Kashyyyk,” Rose interjected. 

          “Yeah, but that was before we had all the information!”

          “It's too late, Finn, I'm sorry,” Poe said with finality. “It has to be Kashyyyk, and we can't bring the heavy guns. Not that we have much anyway.”

          The dark-skinned young man threw up his hands helplessly, storming off through the large door of the hangar where they had been preparing for the trip to meet with the First Order’s forces. He walked along a mossy, sunlit path, just trying to get some distance and clear his head. It had been two months since the Resistance had been nearly obliterated on Crait, and just over a month since his best friend had turned herself over to their enemies. 

         That day at the memorial service on Mandalore still ate at him, the smug look on Ren’s face when he told them that Rey was  _ in his bed. _ He had hoped, at first, that they could rescue her somehow, that she would find a way to free herself from whatever mystical cord tied her to that monster, but it seemed she was where she wanted to be.

          A soft whistle accompanied the sound of something rolling on the path ahead of him, and he looked up to see BB-8 and R2-D2 having some kind of droid argument. He didn't really know how to interpret the various electrical sounds that made up the droid language, but he got the feeling that the older astromech had something important to pass along and the little BB unit was trying to block its access to the hangar. R2 bounced around irritably, while BB-8 whistled and chirped like a flock of angry porgs. Carefully, he edged in closer, not wanting to incur the wrath of either droid, but needing to get by. R2 gave a sudden beep of alarm, and BB-8 rolled around, whistling angrily. Finn held up his hands.

          “Hey, I'm not trying to interfere, you're blocking the path!” He heard footsteps behind him and Poe came into view, his droid rushing to his feet to wobble and chirp.

         “Yeah, I know.” The little droid rolled around, agitated, while R2 bleeped hopelessly at Finn. He caught Poe’s eye.

           “Lover's quarrel?” 

           Poe sighed and shrugged.

          “R2 wants to come with us. BB-8 thinks he's too dangerous,” the pilot explained. His orange and white friend added more high-pitched noises for emphasis. “I know, I know.”

           “What? Why is R2-D2  _ dangerous _ ?”

           “Yeah... that's a long story. R2 belonged to Luke Skywalker. So, you know, the Jedi temple, the island, all that mystical stuff…” BB-8 whistled softly, and R2 made a low, sad noise. Poe's expression darkened. “R2-D2 was there when Ben Solo fell to the dark side.”

           Finn looked from one droid to the other thoughtfully.

           “You know what, I'm going to side with the old guy here,” he decided, patting R2’s domed top. “Some of that information could be valuable.”

            Poe shrugged. 

            “Tell you what, if it makes you feel better about the whole thing… We'll take him.” BB-8 erupted in a predictable angry fit. “Sorry, buddy, but I need everyone on board for this mission. And Finn's right. R2-D2 knows Ben Solo better than anyone except maybe Chewie, and it was there when he turned. I'm not going to blackmail Kylo Ren, but… We should keep our options open. Is everyone okay with that?”

          The droids beeped their agreement, and Finn crossed his arms and nodded. If R2-D2 had recordings of Kylo Ren killing his fellow students and destroying Luke's temple, maybe it would be enough to…  _ To what? Change Rey's mind? Turn her against him? _

          He crossed his arms and nodded. It would at least give her something to think about, hopefully. He couldn't believe Rey had gone that far to the dark. It just wasn't possible.

         “Yeah, I'm good with that.”

         He ignored the worried look Poe gave him before he turned back to the hangar.


	3. Of Course Ben Solo Likes to be Choked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just some inappropriate use of the Force here... ;D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Force choking smut ahead. You know I had to squeeze this in somewhere (pun absolutely intended). Can you write Star Wars fanfic without a Force-choke? I mean, I guess, but….

      Rey knelt on one knee before Ben, listening as Commander Sloane repeated the report she had given him moments before. He had summoned Rey through the bond, but had been too distracted to give a clear explanation, so she had come quickly, curiosity hastening her steps.

      “Commander Dameron and two other companions, and Chewbacca, plus their two droids. The Wookie and the others will be aboard the Millennium Falcon, and Dameron will be flying his personal X-Wing. The Wookie elders have agreed to grant us accomodations for three days.” She paused, reviewing the datapad in her hand. “The Resistance has specifically requested Master Rey’s presence, and Khawapashi would like for her grandson to accompany you as well, if possible. Oh, and…”

        Rey sensed some hesitation from Sloane, but Ben was calm.

        “Go on, Commander.”

         “It seems the defector, FN-” Without thinking, Rey interrupted her.

         “Finn. His name is Finn.”

         She lifted her head at Ben’s sudden surge of anger, her eyes wide as she realized her mistake. Their gazes met, and his eyes were hard. Her pulse began to pound with a strange mix of adrenaline and excitement as she waited, quietly, her eyes following him as he stood from his command console and stalked over to her.

           Belatedly, she remembered to look down, and murmured a hasty apology. He put his hand under her chin, lifting her face and peering down. His eyes were narrowed, but his mind was oddly quiet after his brief flare of rage.

          “I believe you owe Commander Sloane an apology, apprentice.”

          “My apologies, Commander,” she murmured obediently.

           She didn’t quite make eye contact. She didn’t dare. She knew it made Sloane uncomfortable to see Ben order her around like his loyal hound, and she was afraid if the officer could see what was really in her eyes, she would lose any and all respect she had gathered from their forces.

            Ben stalked back to his chair and flung himself down, then beckoned to Rey casually.

            “Come over here.”

            She went to kneel beside him, and immediately, his strong fingers grasped her hair, dragging her head back so she could see only his face and the cold gray ceiling above them.

           “That man is a traitor, do you understand?” She couldn’t nod, so she just made a wordless noise of agreement. “He does not have a name. He is not your friend.”

_I can tell you’re wet already._

           She inhaled, scrabbling to gather her mind together. It wouldn’t be so difficult if he didn’t always insist on pulling her hair. But she knew how to make him just as uncomfortable.

         “Yes, Master,” she breathed, her voice low.

_Fuck you._

_Please do._

          Frustrated, he let her go and she took a deep, stabilizing breath. She could sense Sloane watching them, her expression impassive, but her thoughts felt slightly irritated.

         “I will ask for your opinion when I require it.” She nodded, but her eyes strayed towards his lap, and the corners of her mouth twitched as he tried carefully to adjust himself without making it obvious.

          “Continue, please,” he ordered Sloane tersely.

           Rey remained quiet and still. The officer cleared her throat.

           “Umm… That’s really it. FN-2187, Chewbacca, another Resistance agent, the freighter and Dameron’s X-wing and the two droids. They are requesting Master Rey and the Wookie cub.”

_Your friends have only left us one other companion._

_I suggest Sloane. And I think we should take Kirin, too._

_That’s five._

_BB-8 and R2-D2 count as at least one organic person. And the other choice is to leave Pashi and Kirin here alone and unsupervised for three days._

_That’s… not an option_.

         “They’re bringing two droids?” He confirmed.

        “Yes, sir, the BB unit and an astromech-” Ben waved his hand to forestall her explanation.

         “Yes, I know, R2-D2. The droid that belonged to my uncle. Tell them there will be five of us. Myself, Rey, You, Genji and Kirin.”

         Sloane blinked at him in surprise.

        “You… wish for me to accompany you, sir? But that makes five of us.”

       “One person for two droids is hardly contentious. Especially considering the history of those droids. Rey can pilot the shuttle, and I will take my personal fighter.” He paused, and Rey realized he was looking at her. “Does that seem satisfactory to you, apprentice?”

        “Yes, Master.”

_How do you focus like that?_

_I don’t know, it’s another mysterious power you’ve awoken in me_.

        “Good.”

         He reached his hand out, gliding his palm over the back of her head, but he turned his attention back to Sloane.

         “How are the negotiations going with the Mandalorian building companies?”

_Do you really need me for this?_

         His absent stroke became a tight fist in her hair, and she stifled a whimper.

_Absolutely._

         Rey stayed submissive and quite beside him while Sloane went on at length about the possible designs the Mandalorian companies had offered, struggling to keep her expression neutral while he projected the most carnal fantasies his mind could create, and she responded with her own.

 _She asked you a question_.

         He cursed, and Rey concealed a snicker by adjusting the strap of her lightsaber belt. She wondered if he would remember any of this, or if she was going to have to repeat it all once they were alone.

 _The light cruisers are the best option. Not that you care about my opinion, I’ve only spent most of my life pulling ships apart_.

         “Show me the light cruiser again.”

          For a moment, they were both actually focused on the design, listening to Sloane’s explanations of features.

_Less fuel, longer jumps._

_But no room for fighters._

_TIEs are terrible ships anyway. Invest in some Mandalorian gunners. They can actually jump to lightspeed and the shields aren’t garbage_.

          “How long will it take to build these things?”

          “They estimate six months per ship, sir.”

          “Hmm. Do you have any suggestions on the design, apprentice?” She hesitated.

           Kylo Ren would never have considered such an idea, but Ben seemed more interested in practicality than image, and she knew Sloane could be fairly pragmatic.

           “Half of those parts can be bought at salvage instead of manufacturing them all new.” She chewed her thumb absently, thinking. “It would speed up production and save half the cost at least. Which we could then invest in more durable fighters that aren’t so dependent on the cruiser.”

            You’re _making me look foolish._

_No, I’m making myself look smart._

           He stroked her hair again, this time in a gentle, affectionate way that carried more intimacy than his usual possessive touch. She had to fight not to close her eyes and lean into it.

           Sloane was looking at her with a renewed respect, which Rey felt as a relief. The Commander was fairly perceptive, she surely had an idea by now of the strange dynamic between the Supreme Leader and his apprentice, but Rey would prefer it if they saw her as a valuable contribution and not just Ben’s lapdog.

          “That’s… actually very practical. Sir?” Commander Sloane waited patiently while Ben peered at the diagrams thoughtfully.

          “Yes. Discuss it and bring me a full report tomorrow.”

          “Of course.”

           She knew a dismissal when she heard one. She left the bridge to carry out her duties, but Ben still leaned forward in his chair, his eyes thoughtful, his hand resting gently on the back of Rey’s neck.

          “Master?” She hazarded.

          He turned, his eyes glinting maliciously.

         “Go back to our quarters and wait for me. And take off your clothes.”

         Her eyes went wide with outrage, and she stammered. Sloane may have left, but the bridge was full of people, other officers and personnel. He had displayed affection towards her in public often enough, she knew everyone on the ship was aware of their relationship, but he had never been so casually vulgar about it.

          She wasn’t entirely sure how to respond, but she got to her feet and pulled the hood of her cloak up to hide her face, then shot him a fiery glare.

_Do you really expect me to just take that? In front of everyone?_

_Of course I do. You interrupted Sloane, spoke the traitor’s name, made me look foolish in front of my officers, and just now disturbed my private reflections._

          She could see some of the bridge crew shooting her furtive glances. But she had put quite a lot of effort into her image among them, he had trusted her with command while he was on his mission to Taris, and they had students who would certainly hear any stray gossip. Her face burned and the adrenaline coursing through her was dizzying, but her mind was made up.

          “No.”

          Now they were all looking. Ben got to his feet, and the bond flared with his anger, but she felt something else entirely when their eyes met. His naked, hungry desire seared her blood like physical heat.

          “You will pay for your insolence.”

 _And you’ll like it_.

          “I know.”

           The strength of his Force-shove was barely enough to push her into the hallway, but he followed it up with his physical force, pressing her into the cold wall of the ship.

_This can stop at any time._

          She felt her breath catch as he touched her mind, and her eyes went wide when he put his hand around her throat and forced his tongue into her mouth. For a moment, she yielded, her body instinctively leaning into any contact with him, but when his hand tightened and she couldn’t breathe, she panicked.

           For the first time, he’d hit upon something she could not tolerate. And she reacted, instinctively. He pulled back immediately, but he didn’t panic or claw at his throat, he just looked at her with a sudden, intense emotion in his eyes, clenching his hands into fists.

          She didn’t even realize what she was doing until his eyes closed and she felt his consciousness fading. Her hand dropped immediately and she darted forward to catch him, bowing under his weight, tears forming in her eyes.

          “Ben! Ben, Force, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I would never-”

          He didn’t really gasp for air, he just breathed deeply a few times, straightening himself and bringing his arms up to hold her gently.

_You could have just told me, Rey._

          He felt… amused? And…

_Oh....._

_Yes. Oh._

          With his body draped over her like he was, it was kind of hard to miss. He was chuckling softly, pressing kisses into her neck to soothe her.

 _Do it again_.

          A very mischievous smile played over her lips. She tested with a lighter touch, just to see if she could control it. He stiffened, his eyes fluttering closed, and there was definitely a response. She let go and he staggered away from her, his eyes deep and dark and hungry.

         “Well,” she slipped herself under his arm, holding him up as his fingers dug into her side with his barely contained desire. “Back to our quarters, then?”

         “Mmm,” his response was muffled as he kissed and nuzzled her neck, his hands wandering over her body. She had to fight to get him to stop.

         “People can see us. Master,” she hissed.

         It was the wrong thing to say. She was partly-amused, partly-annoyed as she urged him down the halls as quickly as possible. She barely got him through the door and closed it behind them before he was all over her, kissing and nibbling and tugging at her clothes ravenously.

        “Ben! Get ahold of yourself, right now!”

       “I am, I am, I just can’t… Please do it again, please.”

       “I will, but at least take your clothes off first.”

       She peered into his eyes, making sure her words were getting through, but he was very quick to undress himself, dropping his clothes where they fell while she watched him, sighing, unable to hide her amusement. She barely had time to slip off her boots and her cloak and hang up her belt before he was grabbing her wrist and dragging her hand to his naked erection.

       “Alright, alright.”

       She took him in her hand and stroked gently, watching his face as his eyes closed with the relief from her simple touch. This was completely new to her, they had always been intense, but this was like a drug, his mind was already incoherent and she had to calm him down.

      “Get on your knees,” she ordered.

        He did, and she leaned down, threading her fingers through his hair and favoring him with a long, heated kiss, drawing his lip between her teeth and slowly pulling away. His eyes followed her, begging wordlessly while she slowly peeled off her clothes.

        As soon as the bottom half of her was bare he reached out his long arms and pulled her to him, greedily lifting the hem of her undershirt and pressing his face to her sex, inhaling her smell, his hands wrapped around her waist. He dragged his tongue over her with such zeal she thought he was going to devour her whole, his mouth finding her center and sucking, drawing a startled, hot moan from her lips.

         His eyes roamed over her wildly when she glanced down, and suddenly he got up, sweeping cups and papers and his datapad from the table and lifting her onto it. He came back to her hungrily, his hands pushing her apart to gain better access, his tongue rasping in just the right rhythm.

        She didn’t expect him to translate her simple command this far, but there was no stopping it now, he knew exactly how to play her body, how to draw her climax out of her with his mouth and hands. Rey was too far already to want him to stop, so she leaned back and let him.

       She shuddered as heat from within spread over her whole body, rekindling the warmth he had begun earlier with his hair pulling and growled commands. His fingers slid inside of her while he worked his tongue over her front, and her climax flooded her, sudden and hot and exquisite, her thighs clenching around him while she gasped his name repeatedly.

      Rey leaned forward to draw him to his feet as she caught her breath. He was still hard and he watched her as she reached out and stroked him gently again, trying to build up the courage to do the thing he wanted.

       She sought out his mind and he welcomed her, all of his needs and sensations laid bare. She let go of his cock so she could spread her hands out across the pale skin of his chest, needing the contact to focus, and then she reached out with the Force and pressed.

        Ben's eyes fluttered closed as she watched, his expression a mixture of pleasure and relief, his breath caught in his chest. She could feel the moment he began to struggle and she let go, catching him as he fell over her, sliding her hand down to caress him again. He leaned into her hand gasping, clearly wanting more, but she was so afraid of hurting him.

        “Please, Rey. Please let me inside you.”

        She met his gaze and shook her head gently.

        “I don’t trust myself to do that. It's too intense, and if I get distracted…”

        She had a better idea. She slipped down from the table and pushed him back so he was leaning against the wall, then knelt before him. He caught her intention immediately, and he groaned, his hands caressing her shoulders. She looked up and caught his eyes.

         “Don’t fall on me, I can’t be responsible for everything.”

         “Okay, okay.”

         She thought he probably would have agreed to almost anything at that moment. It was a shame her mouth was too busy and she had to focus the Force to choke him, so she couldn’t organize her thoughts enough to pierce his muddled, nearly-agonized mind with actual words. Vaguely, it occurred to her that she was usually the one in an arousal-muddled fugue, so it wasn't really fair of her to be annoyed.

          She kept one hand along the side of his body, feeling his breath, making sure she gave him enough time in between. It wasn’t an easy task, but after a few tries she found a solid rhythm, squeezing his throat until she felt him straining, wrapping her mouth around his cock while she let him breathe, extenuating the adrenaline of relief.

          A small, sadistic part of her wanted to keep at it, to hold him at the brink over and over, until he begged and cried and satisfied her in every way possible. That would have to be another time, when she had more practice. She loosened the pressure on his throat, but didn't immediately put her mouth around him, making him open his eyes and growl with need.

         “Tell me,” she demanded, her hands gliding over his hips with a gentle, teasing touch. “Tell me what you want.”

          His eyes went wide, and she smiled coyly. He was so fond of making her beg, to speak out loud the things she wanted him to do to her. Now that she had the opportunity, she wasn't going to waste it.

          “I want you to make me come," he panted.

          Rey allowed herself a private smile as she grasped him firmly, lazily stroking her thumb along the underside of his shaft, watching him gasp and shudder and slam his clenched fists into the wall.

          “How?”

          “Fuck! Rey, I don't care. However you want!”

          She took his wrists and pulled until he slid down the wall, then climbed into his lap, closing her eyes for a moment while she reached down and slipped him inside of her. He was too close for her to really get complete satisfaction, but she wanted the feel of him anyway. And this way she could physically wrap her strong hands around his neck, her thumbs pressed into his throat as she rode him to completion, his hands clutching deep bruises over her hips.

          He was so loud and wild-sounding when it took him, she had to put her hands over his mouth instead, and she watched as his eyes blazed, then fluttered closed, his taut muscles shuddering beneath her body. He relaxed slowly, gasping and murmuring her name, exhausted and not really coherent, but when she touched his mind she could sense him drifting contently in the aftermath of pleasure.

_Well, maybe now you'll believe me when I try and tell you what I like._

          His only answer was a sort of amused murmur of affection, and she frowned. Whereas he would just carry her to bed when she was exhausted from their pleasures, there was no way after all of that that she would have the strength to drag or Force-carry his massive frame to bed. After she slipped away to wash up, she just grabbed pillows and blankets from their bed and made them as comfortable as she could on the floor.

         “You're cleaning this up in the morning,” she insisted.

         He had been better about not throwing his clothes on the floor, but he still had a tendency to leave datapads and empty plates of food on random pieces of furniture. He was just awake enough to mumble her name and lay his head in her lap when she settled next to him, then he fell into a deep sleep. She remembered, when he’d bound her and taken her body so roughly the night before he left for Taris, how she didn’t have the words to tell him that she had slept more soundly that night than any night she could remember. The soothing, warm feeling she’d had on waking and the secret, impossible knowledge that she had let herself be perfectly and completely vulnerable for someone who had kept her trust.

          For a long time she just watched him, breathing evenly, his face seeming softer and younger without the perpetual haunted expression it had when he was awake. When she had first met him, in the interrogation room where he’d removed his mask and she saw that he was human and not a faceless monster, there had been a brief, pulsing moment, so fleeting neither of them understood it.

 _I’m not giving you anything._ But she had. She had given him her fears, her demons, her past and her future. Everything. And in he return, he’d given her himself. Not just Kylo Ren, but this true, secret self he had hidden from for so many years, the heart of Han Solo and the passion of Leia Organa.

        This final, last thing that he had to have, that he had suddenly needed from her so desperately, she knew it well. _Absolution._ She closed her eyes and combed her fingers through his hair, the simple, repetitive movement eventually lulling her sleep as well.


	4. First Steps for Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo has a new sword, now he just has to figure out how to use it. 
> 
> Some silly apprentice drama. Seriously though, these kids are here to stay, so I hope you like them.
> 
> Phasma hates Jakku as much as everyone else, what a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm imagining Ben kind of using an adapted Florentine style with the fiery deathblade and the shorter green one. Lightsabers are apparently very customizable, but it's a style that requires more agility than he seems to use on screen where he just kind of throws his weight around like he's a berserker with a broadsword. 
> 
> Blame my stupid husband and his ridiculous natural balance and agility and knowledge of melee weapons for any swordplay details. He has been kindly devouring my writing and now he wants to build lightsabers, so... Yay?

         They had decided to dedicate an hour before the apprentices trained to work on their own, so Ben was surprised to see Genji in the sparring room, moving through forms with Rey. He stopped in the door to watch, noting the Wookie was fairly skilled with his weapon, his movements surprisingly graceful given his body mass.

        Rey was lovely as ever, even in her simple training clothes, her hair bound tightly in her preferred style of buns, stray wisps floating around her face. She didn't turn to him, but he knew she sensed his presence, continuing through the motion she was demonstrating before patting Genji’s arm and striding towards him.

        “I had an idea,” she started, and he could tell from her focus and lack of affectionate greeting that she was excited. “I want you and Genji to work together against me. Give me your red saber, and I think we'll be as evenly matched as possible.”

            He studied her thoughtfully, his eyes moving over from her to the Wookie and back. It was unfair for her to be so clever _and_ beautiful _and_ use the Force, but somehow, in its infinite wisdom, the Force had decided that this mythical creature belonged with him and woven their fates together. He took his weapon from his belt and handed it to her before hanging up his cloak and stripping to the waist. He felt her eyes on him, and he turned around to see her frowning, her eyes intent on his face.

           “Something on your mind, or are you just staring because you like the view?”

           She rolled her eyes, but she did smile first. She beckoned for him to come closer, and he noticed she had something in her hand.

           “Turn around.” He complied, and felt her tugging her fingers through his hair. She swept her hands over his face, smoothing back stray locks, and when she let go, he found she had tied up his hair with one of her little elastic bands. He shook his head experimentally.

           “It's getting long, I don't know how you stand having it in your face all the time.”

           “I thought you liked my hair.”

          Turning abruptly, he studied her face. If she really didn't like it, he could try doing something else, but he was not thrilled with the idea. He could feel the tips of his ears burning with the thought as he frowned at her worriedly.

           “Oh, I do, trust me." She gave him a heated look, eyes traveling over his face slowly. "I just thought you might like to have it out of your face while we're working.”

           “I can have the droids cut-”

            Her eyes flashed and her anger flared brightly through the bond as she reached up, latching her fingers around the gathered rope of his hair tightly enough to bring tears to his eyes, and dragged him down to whisper fiercely in his ear.

           “If you even _think_ about taking anything sharp to this beautiful, silky mane, I will absolutely murder you.” She stood back and kissed his cheek, smiling sweetly. “Just so we're clear on that.”

            “Are you actually in love with me, or just my hair?”

            He smirked as she tilted her head, pretending to think it over.

            “I might not kill you, but still.. probably best not to risk it.”

            He shook his head, strolling over to the wide floor space where Genji was practicing moves, thinking Rey was right. It was a relief to have his full range of vision without having to shake his hair out of his face constantly.

            “Rey explained her idea?”

             _“You and I against her, with her using your blade.”_ The young Wookie’s amber eyes glanced over to where she was swinging her arms and stretching, activating Ben's lightsaber and performing a few practice swings. _“She says it's more even, and that is probably true, but I think we will still lose.”_

Ben laughed, clapping Genji’s arm warmly.

             “No, I think we can take her,” he said loudly, winking at Genji. “I've seen her use my lightsaber before. She almost lost.”

             _“Almost.”_

 

            Pashi whirled, her attunement with the lightsaber getting better each day, presenting a different challenge for Kirin. She had started hiding her hands in her lap as she directed the wooden blocks from several stacks surrounding the other girl, watching with appreciation and respect as she sliced through them easily.

           “Wait, Kirin. I have an idea.”

           Kirin dropped the block she was levitating, tilting her head. She was coming to like Pashi, despite the other girl’s brash, arrogant personality. There was a softness in her voice that seemed reserved for Kirin alone, and she was still not sure what to make of it, although she could sense Pashi’s feelings clearly. It didn’t bother her, she was accustomed to the people around her lusting after her striking looks, but she had never found herself warmed by it in return. It was a new feeling, and she nursed it carefully like the first kindling branch of a precious fire in the cold, waiting to see if it would catch.

        She watched as Pashi took a square of bright blue cloth from her pocket and walked over to hold it out. She was always careful not to crowd Kirin, or touch her unnecessarily, firmly keeping her feelings in check, although the offer was always there, patiently waiting. She looked at the scarf, at the way Pashi held it so carefully so Kirin could take it without touching her hand, and she pressed her lips together.

        Some bravery she did not recognize came over her, and she deliberately let her fingers brush over Pashi’s, the way she had when they first met and she had been overcome with curiosity at seeing another Twi’lek.

       She could still feel the warm shock of Pashi’s _lekku_ brushing hers, a subtle gesture meant to invite greater intimacy, but for Kirin it was entirely different. She had never touched, or spoken with her head tails since she was separated from her sister. Oh, of course the brothel men would touch them, inexpertly, grabbing with their meaty human hands. On the rare occasion it was another of her own race, they were at least polite enough not to pretend to that kind of intimacy.

       Pashi was looking down too, her dark human eyes widening before she shook off the flood of emotions - _lust, affection, apprehension, hope_ \- and let go of the cloth.

      “I was thinking you could blindfold yourself. So I can’t see where you’re looking.” Her voice, usually full of easy confidence, held some hesitance. “Can you um, can you do that?”

        Kirin was already tying the cloth over her face. With her eyes shut, she reached out with her other senses, grateful that the other Force-users - Rey, Ben and Genji - were occupied sparring together, and their thoughts were mostly battle-oriented and easy to block out. There was always a heated undercurrent between Rey and Master Solo, but she had learned to tune it out, although she had no idea how they managed to function in that state constantly. Genji was a bastion of cool balance, focused on his task with a genuine singularity.

        Pashi was... Well, she could always sense Pashi. She shook herself back to reality and called to the once-living particles in the wood blocks, and feeling them outlined around her in sun-warmed yellow.

       “Yes, I think I can do this.”

       She smiled, choosing a stack at random and directing it at Pashi without warning, impressed by the other girl’s quick dodge and following slash. Another few blocks, and Pashi was actually working up a sweat, switching the lightsaber into a reverse grip so she could move her body more swiftly. Kirin picked up the pace as well, adapting quickly to the blindfold.

        Some blocks were dodged, some clipped her with slight scratches, but most she was able to slice cleanly. Kirin could feel her tiring, and she felt a mischievous impulse come over her. Using her secondary senses, she felt around the training room for something else. There were weighted staves and swords, meant for practicing forms or more serious sparring bouts without the added danger of a lit saber. Feeling a bit weary herself, Kirin summoned one from each corner behind Pashi, and sent them at her at once.

         At first she thought she had gone too far, but the other girl ducked at the last moment. Not willing to give up yet, Kiring redirected the wooden swords, one at Pashi’s neck and one at her midsection. She reacted beautifully, dodging the one at her neck and slicing cleanly through the other, but she wasn’t quick enough to catch Kirin’s rebound, and she tapped the edge of the practice blade gently at the nape of Pashi’s sweat-soaked neck.

        The gasp was definitely more than pure surprise. She had targeted the sensitive base on purpose, just between the _lekku_ where they met the top of the neck, an area acutely responsive to a delicate touch.

        _“Kirin!_ ” There was a scandalized hoarseness to her voice, along with some very interesting emotions she could sense through the Force. “What are you doing?”

         She pulled off the blindfold and summoned the blade to her hand, examining it as if it were the most interesting bit of carved wood she’d ever seen, and pointedly ignored Pashi until the other girl came up to her slowly. She was cautious, but it would have taken a blast barrier to conceal the waves of desire and apprehension flowing around her. Gently, she put her hand on the blade, directly over Kirin’s, forcing her to look up.

         She had not expected the way Pashi’s smoldering eyes would quicken frightening, long-dormant heat within her, or that her skin would burn where the calloused, blue-green fingers tightened over hers. Kirin stared, her lips parted slightly as she struggled to get a full breath of air.

         She felt the intention before Pashi even thought it. It shimmered through the Force between them, a more vibrant connection than the younger Twi’lek had ever expected to feel. She didn’t know how it would feel to be kissed by someone she wanted to kiss, but she didn’t imagine it would feel so incredibly good.

        Neither of them wanted to stop, but Master Ben’s polite coughing followed by Rey’s casual snarky comments brought a fit of giggling that Kirin couldn’t hold back. She caught her master’s eye over Pashi’s shoulder, and smiled at Rey’s quick wink.

        “So. That was okay for you?”

        Pashi’s eyes searched her face hopefully. She moved her head close again, and Kirin reached over to twine one of her soft pink tails with other girl's somewhat heavier one. They both watched the contact with wide-eyed fascination.

      “Yes. Can we go somewhere else and do it some more?”

      “Oh, my sweet love. Abso- _fucking_ -lutely.”

 

       Phasma was going to kill that vile, stinking slob of a creature. It wasn't that he gave them bad information, or inaccurate directions. It was the subtle, lying-by-omission tactic employed by politicians and nobility that she loathed to have used against her. And she had given the creature a good amount of coin, too, solid metal, though not her precious stash of chromium.

       She scowled behind her face mask, surveying the charred remnants of the village her troops had destroyed just months ago. Her operatives walked through the wreckage, turning out half-buried supplies and burnt canvas, but there was nothing of use, and no visible difference in the landscape that might indicate a hidden structure. She was about to call them back when KT-2184, whom she had given the nickname ‘Kit’ to keep up their stealth personas, held up a glinting piece of metal on a steel chain.

        “Might be something here,” he called out. The other soldier came to join him, kicking aside a sun-bleached skeleton. Phasma joined them quickly, and Kit handed her the piece of jewelry. It was a data storage device, but someone had been wearing it on a chain, meaning it had great value to them. In addition there was a small, mysterious device of black obsidian, with archaic sigils that she thought were vaguely familiar.

         She was leaning down, using her salvaged bowcaster to dig through the sand, when a familiar sound sent her diving for cover. She didn't have time to shout a warning, but KT-2184 had recognized it too. Unfortunately, the second of her troopers hadn't reacted in time, and the TIE soaring overhead had targeted him precisely.

        She crawled down towards the valley where they had left their quad-jumper, beckoning to Kit to follow her. By the time they got there, the TIE was swinging around for another scan, and they dashed across the sand, Phasma barely making it while Kit fired up the engines.

        “Go!” She shouted, firing her weapon randomly into the ruin to stir up clouds of sand and cover their escape.

        They made it back to Niima and took off, but she had no time to cover their tracks. Anyone questioning that beast would know someone had been there asking questions previously, and what they had been searching for.

         Kylo Ren had been right, she didn't like it, but even if Hux did question the scavenger, he would not be able to give away who they were. She knew Hux, and she knew it would never occur to him to use stealth and disguise, therefore he wouldn't expect it from them, either. He would assume it was Rebels, or bounty hunters, some force he considered inferior. That was the First Order’s greatest flaw, it was completely unable to adapt or deploy unorthodox tactics.

        She still wasn't fond of Ren, and personally, Phasma hated Force-users. They might be capable of incredible feats, but they were unreliable and overly sentimental. But they had the money, a larger fleet, and more importantly, Ren had given her a promotion and command of a Star Destroyer. She was in the perfect position to wait it out and claim dominion over whatever was left.

       Provided there was anything left when Hux, the Resistance and Kylo Ren finished squabbling for control of the galaxy. She thought of the revolutionaries on Canto Bight, and wondered if they had figured out yet how difficult it was to insitute order in the ashes of chaotic upheaval. It was exactly the kind of situation the people in charge of the Rebellion and thr Resistance lived for, but somehow, she had a feeling they wouldn't have much to offer. Fighting and overthrowing governments was their primary focus. Instilling order out of chaos was the realm of her own forces.


	5. Did Anyone Really Expect These Boys to Play Nice?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose has a secret. Ben Solo needs a hug, and Rey needs to hash out some expectations for the future.
> 
> Boys are stupid, especially these ones. Khawapashi is too old for this many egos in her house.
> 
> Kirin shows the value of diplomatic negotiation. You know....negotiating... without a lightsaber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration from Kirin is pulled from Inara from Firefly and Jacqueline Carey's epic courtesan-diplomat, Phedre, although I have to point out both of those characters engaged in their intrigues willingly, whereas Kirin is underage and was forced. 
> 
> I am not trying to glorify sex slavery in any way whatsoever, just showing a character who has suffered a terrifying past and is trying her best to move forward and make use of the skills she has.
> 
> Commander Sloane is a tribute to the Aftermath novels Grand Admiral Sloane... stay tuned to see how they're actually related. Maybe Finn isn't the only good guy in the First Order.... Or maybe all people are just more complicated than 'good' and 'bad'...?

 

_Ben?_

          He had been right behind them when she brought the shuttle through the atmosphere, but she lost sight of him as she maneuvered the ship towards Kashyyyk’s spaceport.

          _I feel it._

         He sounded distracted, and fleeting images passed through her mind - a forest clearing, the _Millenium Falcon_ , a younger-looking General Organa on the shore of an ocean planet, barefoot and smiling, a house somewhere with large, wide windows. She felt guilty for not realizing it sooner, her chest tightened with grief.

          _Follow me in and we’ll walk down there. Khawapashi will understand._

He didn’t reply, but she saw his TIE Silencer show back up on her radar. Her stomach twisted at the sight of the _Falcon_ already resting on the polished wood of the open landing pad, and she took a deep breath to steady herself. Behind her, Kirin whispered excitedly to Genji, and she could hear the Wookie explaining about the durability of the wroshyr, reassuring her there was no need to worry about fire. Commander Sloane was quiet, but her eyes roved over the massive trees and the structures built into them.

        Rey followed the instructions given to her by the Wookie in the spaceport tower, landing the shuttle a short distance across from the _Millenium Falcon._ She could see Finn, Rose and Chewie still standing beside it, although Finn took off into the buildings before they exited the shuttle.

        She glanced up to see Ben’s ship coming down beside her, but was immediately distracted by a squeal of delight and Rose’s running hug that was almost a tackle. She couldn’t help but smile and wrap her arms around her friend tightly.

        Rey paused. There was something odd in her friend’s energy, and she pulled away, frowning into Rose’s face. The other woman laughed and then grabbed Rey’s hand and nearly squeezed the life out of it.

       “Of course you’d know. I forgot about the Force.”

       “You forgot about - Oh! Is that what it is?” Rey probed just slightly more, then withdrew swiftly. She didn’t want to intrude, but it also made her a little uncomfortable. Rose leaned in to whisper.

       “Don’t tell Finn, he’ll have me shipped out of here so fast you’ll forget you saw me at all. Promise me, Rey!” Her eyes searched Rey’s face worriedly, but she just stared back, for once completely at a loss for what to say. She attempted a smile, because Rose seemed to be happy about it, but inwardly she was just sort of... uncomfortable. That's not how most women responded to a pregnancy, and she knew that, but it took all her effort to try and appear happy for her friend.

        “I… No, I won’t, I promise.”

        She had to focus to still her expression, the fake smile didn't appear to be going over well and Rose frowned, but she was silenced by the distraction of introductions. Rey almost sighed with relief as Kirin came up beside her.

       “Rose Tico, these are my students, Kirin and Gahengeen. Genji is Khawapashi’s grandson. And this is Commander Ceres Sloane of the First Order.” Internally, she said a prayer of thanks to whatever Force gods had chosen to make Rose come over first instead of Poe and Finn, despite the awkwardness of her secret pregnancy.

          As Rose was shaking hands and asking Genji about his unusual lightsaber, Chewie came over and hugged her as well. When he introduced himself to the others, Genji’s eyes widened like saucers, his normally serene demeanor suddenly shy and tongue-tied. Rey laughed out loud when Chewie put his paw out for the younger Wookie to clasp.

        “Genji, you are too big to hide behind me. Don’t worry, Chewbacca won’t eat you. I think.”

        She winked at the taller Wookie, extricating herself to go to Ben, just climbing out of his ship.

        After being without her Resistance friends for several months, Rey forgot that she couldn’t hide her emotions from Ben. He had never really seen her interact with anyone but himself, his crew and their apprentices, and we was looking at her with a curious half-smile.

       “Everything alright?”

       He slipped his arm over her shoulders and she sighed in relief.

      “Yes. No. I’m not sure.” She steered him towards a path leading downward from the landing pad. “It’s this way.”

      They were intercepted by a rolling, whistling ball of orange and white, and Rey knelt immediately to pat BB-8’s head. The droid cheeped an inquiry, its single wide lense focusing on Ben.

      “Don’t worry, we’re just going to pay our respects.” It looked at her, then at Ben again, and gave a low sad whistle. Ben was staring at it with disbelief.

      “Is the droid offering me condolences?”

      “That’s the gist, yes.”

      “Okay. Thank you.” He stared at it until Rose called and BB-8 rolled off to answer. Rey laughed at his baffled expression. “The mythical BB unit. I was beginning to think I’d never see one.”

      She could hear Rose calling after them, but she had promised to take him to the place where his mother spent her last moments, and Rey wanted a few minutes before she had to face Rose again anyway.

      It wasn’t too long of a walk to the forest floor, the size of the spaceport required the widest part of the tree trunk, and all of Kashyyyk’s larger structures had been built closer to the forest floor than the treetops, though they remained just above the dangerous killing fog that occasionally rolled over the forest floor .

     Ben walked right to the log Rey and Leia had been resting on, and she hung back, thinking he would want a few moments to himself. But he reached for her almost immediately, drawing her to him and burying his face in her shoulder.

     She was caught off-guard by the crushing torrent of his anguish flooding the bond, her own tears spilling down as he clutched her to him and shook with silent, heavy sobs. Gently, she drew him down to the ground, and they sat leaning against the huge, mossy branch while she held him and he told her, brokenly, about his life with his mother, before his powers had become too much for his parents to cope with.

      “I used to think she was the only person who understood me. My father… he wasn’t cruel or anything, but he didn’t want a son with Force powers. They argued about it, constantly. She knew I could hear them. Han would leave and she would come find me, trying to convince me that he loved me and they only wanted to protect me.”

      He took several steadying breaths, his hand carelessly toying with a strand of her hair, winding it around his fingers as he talked.

      “I didn’t even know Luke. I saw him maybe a handful of times. My mother… she could have been so powerful, but she wasn’t interested. I don’t know why. She told me once the first time she was able to feel the Force was when she was pregnant. And then she sent me away!”

       He must have sensed Rey’s sudden reaction, because he shifted to look at her, his dark eyes searching her face.

      “You’re not-”

      “Oh, Maker, no! No.” He stared like he thought she was lying and she rolled her eyes. “Look for yourself if you want. We would know, we would _both_ know.”

      “Then what…?”

      Rey shook her head. She wanted to tell him, but it wasn’t her secret. She forgot how close they were, and how smart he was.

      “Oh, it’s your friend. The girl who slapped me.”

      “Please don’t say anything. Please, Ben. She made me swear not to. Finn would send her away so fast-”

      “Of course he would. What does she think she’s doing, putting herself in danger like this? We’re the enemy!”

     Rey took a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly to try and form a response from her racing thoughts.

     “Ben, do you want kids?”

      He grunted as if she’d kicked him, leaning back against the log. He was quiet for a long time, and she left his thoughts alone, although she was fairly trembling with fear.

     The idea made her ill, and she couldn't hide it from him if she tried. She had been shocked by how _happy_ Rose was, so excited, like it was something to celebrate. She knew that was the common response, but it was baffling to her. Where she grew up, pregnancy was nothing short of terrifying. Women died trying to get rid of it, and they died having it, and they died trying to protect it. And even if it survived, Jakku was no place for children.

       Rey reminded herself that her friend had lost her entire family, including most recently her sister, but she still couldn’t imagine a point in her life where she would want that kind of responsibility, even with adequate resources and medical care. The apprentices terrified her, and they were almost fully-grown.

      Slowly, Ben reached over and took her hand, folding her fingers through his.

      “What if I don’t?” His voice was low, almost sullen, but she gasped in relief, bringing his hand to her lips and kissing it repeatedly.

      “Oh, Great Force, thank you.” He exhaled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a crushing embrace. “I was afraid you would think… I mean, you have this obsession with your grandfather and everything…”

      “Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader because he had visions of his wife dying giving birth. And they came true. Because when Obi-wan defeated him, and he lay dying on Mustafar, he reached out blindly and took life from the most familiar source. And he lived with that for another nineteen years.” He glanced down, his left hand resting on the hilt of his smaller saber. "We talked. On Taris. I think there's something really wrong with the Skywalkers. We're unhinged, and it's an inherited thing. So, no. I don't want to bring anymore miserably insane Force-gifted people into the world."

    “Oh. For fuck’s sake. Your family-” She shook her head. "Don't be offended, but I agree with you. Even your mother was kind of... Maybe she didn't want to use the Force because she knew herself well enough to be afraid of it. She was sort of really smart."

     "Of course she was. Women are always smarter." She blinked up at him in surprise, and he laughed and tugged her into a hug. "Some wisdom from the  _other_ side of my family."

     "Oh," she sighed softly, but didn't bring up Han Solo’s name. "Well, at least you're only half Skywalker."

     "A quarter, actually. By all accounts, Padme` Amidala was qiutr intelligent. The Solo’s were always scoundrels and thieves, though."

    "Scoundrels, thieves, murderers, politicians... I can see you take after your ancestors strongly."

     “Hey, at least I _know_ what’s in my blood. We have no idea about you. Your parents could’ve been Sith. Or ugly.” She swatted his chest. “Or even stupid. They were stupid enough to leave you.”

     “One of those things is like... way worse.” He looked down to catch her eye. “Really. I mean, you’re at least partially Sith, _and_ you have those ugly ears, but I tolerate it because, you know, you’re brilliant. I wouldn’t know how to cope with stupid. We’d have to just sell it, I suppose. 50 portions for a future Force savant!”

     She thought he was seriously in pain for a second before she realized he was _laughing_ , his eyes dancing and bright as he gasped for breath, his fingers squeezing her hand painfully.

     “Oh hey, Poe! Finn! I’ve done it, I’ve actually killed Kylo Ren! Here’s his body, can I come back to the Resistance now? No? Well, at least I know a nice island I can go get lost on.”

She watched him wipe tears from his eyes, slowly regaining control of himself, and a surge of affection and _possession_ filled her. Her face felt strange, the muscles aching in an unfamiliar way, and she realized she had not smiled so much in a long time. He pulled her into his arms again, and she nestled her head against his shoulder.

    “You killed Kylo Ren a while ago. It was just a slow, agonizing death.”

    “Serves him right, the murderous snake.”

 

     She should have known better than to expect the boys to behave. Even for one kriffing ceremonial meal. She had been proud of Ben for restraining himself, until now. He seemed to be able to ignore Finn, but Poe's snarky comment about Padme` Amidala was too far. She watched, almost in slow motion, as the general's wine cup slid off the table, into his lap.

    Immediate chaos ensued, and all three of them were on their feet while Khawapashi and Chewbacca yowled in rage. Of course, Poe would try to be smooth and calm, only to fling Rose's cup at Ben the moment Chewie and Genji released him. And Ben, predictably, reached for his lightsaber just as she summoned it to her hand. There was a strangled cry from Finn, and she glanced over to see Kirin sitting across from him, his blaster in her hand.

   Commander Sloane was watching Rey, her eyes questioning. She shook her head just slightly, indicating that there was no need to open hostilities further.

    _Just go._ She urged Ben, sensing the blinding fire of his wrath. _Go outside and find a tree, because if you lose your mind here, we might as well pack up and tackle Hux on our own._

     He glared, and she met his eyes with her own angry stare, until he got up swifty and stalked out the door. A look passed among the three Wookies, and Genji silently got up and followed him, while Chewbacca turned just in time to throw Poe back into his seat and prevent him from running after Ben.

     Rey had only seen Chewie this angry once, and Ben still bore the scar on the side of his body. She was almost positive the Wookie had purposely aimed wide, even after watching his best friend die, passing up a killing shot because his heart could not stand the thought of losing Han and Ben, and facing Leia afterward.

     He was roaring at Poe now, the same way he had roared when he broke down Luke Skywalker’s door. She could barely understand him, but she made out words like ‘idiot’ and ‘children’ and ‘be a leader.’ Rey was glad it was coming from him and not her. She could see it clearly in the way Finn refused to meet her gaze, and Poe’s observant eyes followed her even after Ben had gone. They didn't trust her anymore.

    It was only fair, she supposed, but it hurt more than she had expected it to. Thankfully, she knew she could trust Sloane not to be riled by their insults, and Rose remained firmly on her side, staunchly refusing to let Finn speak over her.

    "You don't get to say a word, you were First Order too, anything he's guilty of, you are too!"

    "He's a liar and a murderer! Come on-"

    Poe flinched under Rose's stare.

    "How many people have died under your command,  _General?_ My sister died in an attack that you disobeyed orders to continue! How are we going to coordinate our forces if you can't sit at a table for a single hour without _taunting_ him? You realize he could kill you with his thoughts, right? Like, literally just - poof, Force magic, dead?”

    The short woman had gotten to her feet and was looming over her leader, her cheeks flushed red.

    “That’s not actually-” Rose waved her into silence, and Finn kept opening his mouth, but she ran right over him again.

    “I don't care what kind of information you think you have! Rey says he's changed. He's not even Kylo Ren anymore, something you two are _purposely_ ignoring!”

    “He has no right to the name he claims!” Poe interjected.

    _“That's not up to you,”_ Chewie growled. His voice was full of grief, and he included Finn in his hard gaze. _“I've known him longer than any of you. Han and Leia were my family! He is my family!”_

     Finally, Khawapashi stood. Chewie turned to her respectfully, causing everyone else to follow his gaze.

    _“You asked for a neutral ground to hold peaceful negotiations. You know our laws, and yet you are at my table, in my house, with drawn weapons. I will not be misled. If you have come here under false pretenses and lied about your purpose, I will banish you permanently. For now, you will return to your ships - I will not grant accommodations to people who have drawn weapons at my table.”_ She turned to Rey and gestured. _“I know you have ways of speaking with him. Confer my instructions to your mate.”_

Rey bowed her head in agreement. She met Rose's eyes across the table, exchanging mutual expressions of anxiety and frustration. But when they rose to leave, the elder Wookie raised her paw.

      _“No, no, I only meant to exile the males.”_ She turned her warm eyes on Rey, and then looked down at Kirin sitting next to her, and Commander Sloane across the table next to Rose. _“You must stay and enjoy the feast with me, otherwise it will be a waste of good food. My daughters-in-law worked very hard today.”_

     Rose caught her gaze from across the table and raised her eyebrows, waiting for Rey to make a decision. She slowly sat back down and sipped her wine, and Sloane wordlessly took Finn’s blaster from Kirin, passing it to Chewie, who forcibly herded Finn and Poe outside.

     The five women sat in silence for a moment, Rey and Rose afraid to provoke the Wookie’s anger, Sloane naturally reserved, until Kirin broke up a piece of honeyed bread and ate it, turning to speak to the Wookie matriarch as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

     “This food really is amazing, Khawapashi. Please tell your daughters that it didn't go unappreciated.”

      The teenager smiled timidly, and the Wookie patted her head, thanking her for the compliment. Soon Kirin had engaged their host in an excited discussion of the flora and fauna of Kashyyyk, and Rey noticed even Commander Sloane relaxed, leaning in with curiosity.

       Rey could have kissed the girl. She might never be ready for combat training, but her empathy and compassion were incredibly powerful by themselves. She even casually extended the conversation to include Rose, and Rey found herself regaling them with her stories about eating spiders and lizards to survive Jakku. She could feel Ben in the back of her head, quite definitely destroying some poor plants with his secondary lightsaber, and she waited until he got himself under control.

        _Khawapashi has exiled you all to your ships until you can behave like adults._

_By ‘you’ am I to understand Dameron and Finn are included in that ban, while you are not?_

_Pashi didn't want the food to go to waste. You know I couldn't disagree with that argument. Kirin deserves the medal of honor, though. I don't know if we'll ever get her to hold a lightsaber, but I think she might actually be the most gifted of our students._

_You would know first hand how valuable empathy can be._

     He was quiet for a while, and she left him to his thoughts as she listened to the Twi’lek and the Wookie talk about Ord Mantell, the lawless hive where Kirin grew up and the elder Pashi spent much of her youth. Rey was surprised to find how well-traveled the matriarch was, and she even mentioned meeting Grand Admiral Sloane once, which was an interesting tale. She was growing tired by the time she felt him reach out to her again.

     _If I am spending the night in a ship, it's going to be the shuttle bunk, and you had better be there._

     She could hear him growling even in her mind, and she knew he had that cold, ruthless look in his eyes that frightened and excited her. Her body responded to it, awakening tired limbs and summoning heat between her legs, and she felt her cheeks flushing. She quickly excused herself, bowing to Pashi, and leaning down to give Rose a quick hug.

      When she passed Sloane, she murmured as quietly as possible that no one was to re-enter the command ship for _any_ reason unless she or the Supreme Leader gave the clear. The woman's eyes widened slightly, but she nodded. She thanked the elder for her offer of accommodation, but explained that she would rather be with her mate than sleep alone. Fortunately no one else pressed her for an explanation, and Rose made the same excuse, her eyes shooting Rey a thankful glance


	6. Quiet Time on Kashyyyk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets some anger management therapy so...more bondage goodness... If you like that.
> 
> Jakku again, who knew? Apparently everyone, before someone tampered with the records.
> 
> Annnnd....Kirin is kinda sorta frightening....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some bondage here, tying up, verbal abuse, gagging... 
> 
> Also a slight reminder of Kirin's awful origins...
> 
> I'm always going to give a warning, but just be aware that this series is gonna have a lot of both these things going forward. I don't want to surprise anyone with graphic depictions of sex or abuse, but it's labeled explicit for many reasons.

         Oh, he was angry. She could feel it more strongly now, emanating through the bond and setting her skin on fire. For a moment, Rey wondered what was broken in her mind, that she would respond to the threat of her lover's rage with shortened breaths and warmth in her blood. A lot of things, probably, but it didn't matter why. It gave them both an outlet for emotions too difficult to explain, and she wasn't ashamed of herself or him. She was just glad they completed each other so perfectly.

         She was trembling when she walked up the ramp, her steps faltering. She had trusted him before, she knew in the practical part of her mind that he would never do anything without her permission. But she was frightened of finding out what, exactly, she would allow this man to do to her. The lights were all off inside, and she thought perhaps he wasn't there yet, but she sensed his presence just before he stepped behind her and his hands latched onto her, rough and strong and _fast._

          He reached inside the waistband of her pants immediately, shoving his hand down and dragging his fingers between her legs, while his other arm wrapped all the way around her, holding her still. She closed her eyes at the touch of his warmth breath over her ear.

          “Are you happy that I'm angry with you?” He brought up his fingers and admired the slick sheen of moisture on them.

          “Apparently, yes.” She watched as he licked her taste from his hand. His eyes studied her thoughtfully.

          Abruptly, he lifted her with one arm, as if she were feather-light, throwing her into the ship’s tiny single bunk, and she could hear him removing his armor and boots in the dark. Her breath caught in her chest, shallow and shuddering. She knew when he shifted his focus back to her, even though she could see very little in the limited light coming through the viewport.

           “What would your friends think, if they knew how much you like being my slut? Oh, you hold your head high in public, and yet here you are. At my beck and call. Obedient and so ready for me.” She felt tears come to her eyes, but she she couldn't help herself. Just the way he _spoke_ made her ache.

            “I am,” she gasped softly.

            “Tell me you want me. Say it.”

            She swallowed and looked away.

            “No.”

            “I know you do. Just say it.” He loomed over her, long fingers firmly latched onto her jaw, forcing her to meet his eyes in the dark. “I can be gentle, if you just admit your weakness.”

            Her pulse pounded as she glared back, defiant. He was so careful, giving her an option, but she didn't want it.

            “It's not weakness.”

            “No?” He moved away slightly so he could see her better. She was still in the dim light, waiting, while he stood fully shadowed and looked her over. “Undress, quickly. Or I will rip off your clothes, and you can walk back naked in the morning in front of your friends.”

             She scrambled to undress, afraid that was something he might actually do, and she knew she would let him. She could not control her thoughts when they were together, it was like a strong wine. All she could think about was him, and the last time, and how badly she _wanted_ him again, even if she refused to admit it. Her hands shook as she struggled to remove her breast wrapping, and suddenly he bent down over her, pushing her back, pinning her arms above her with one hand while he grabbed at the rest of her clothes.

             “Please don't,” she whispered, but he swept into her mind, and her desire overwhelmed her, conceding permission immediately. She cried out when he tore away her underclothes, and he responded by stuffing them in her mouth while he tied up her wrists with her own belt. She closed her eyes, and felt tears fall from her lashes, even as heat seared through her and her sensitive places ached.

             He froze, bringing his thumb up to brush along her cheek.

              _Rey? Do you want to stop?_

She shook her head emphatically. She wasn't sure where the emotion came from, but it wasn't him. She wanted this, desperately, the binding, the roughness, his cruel, cold voice. She looked up, and there was just enough light to catch his eyes.

              _Please go on. It's not you, I promise._

             He studied her face, searching her eyes, then his gaze dropped down her exposed body and his expression changed. He lifted his hand, gliding it slowly over her face, her neck, her breasts, and down to her stomach and hips, eliciting a soft, muffled moan. She arched her back, her eyes always on his, watching for the split second of feral heat that preceded his rougher movements.

             “I love you, Rey.”

            She pushed her response back through the bond, the light that filled her heart when he said it, her unfathomable affection and desperate desire.

          He stroked her face with the back of his hand, another light, soft touch that made her whine and writhe, craving more. Finally his gaze dropped and he shoved her legs apart, his fingers seeking her entrance and plunging inside, fast and hard. He covered her mouth with his other hand, muffling her sharp, insistent noises.

          “Listen to yourself. You like that. Can you feel how fucking _wet_ you are?”

          Her eyes caught his, and her lips twitched around the fabric in her mouth. Good gods, his voice. He had barely touched her at all, and she wanted him to do more, so much more, but the taunting was exquisite too.

          _Only for you._

          _Come for me then. Show me you're my obedient little slut._

         She closed her eyes briefly while his fingers worked inside her, thrusting brutally with his calloused palm pressed into her front, pushing down against her as she rocked her hips into his touch. The sudden, sharp thrill of pain and surprise when he slapped her made her eyes fly wide open and she let out a strangled yelp. It wasn't a hard slap, he didn't mean to really hurt her, but it got her attention. He grabbed her face, holding her jaw and turning her to focus on him.

        “Keep your eyes on me. You know I want to see you.”

         _It's not… easy…_

She strained against the belt, her hands seeking purchase, something to give her more leverage. She felt a smooth steel bar at the top of the bunk and gripped it, using it to angle herself further, to increase the pressure of his hand. She kept her eyes open under his hot gaze, the intense focus on his face as he watched her just as erotic as what he was doing with his hands.

        Bright stars, he felt good, she couldn't explain it, but he made her feel wanted, claimed by someone who belonged to her too. She reached for his mind, knowing he would be right there, and he was. She could see herself through his eyes, and feel the strength of his arousal, his need to thoroughly _possess_ her in every way, and more, his desire to pleasure her, to distract and soothe from the emotional sting of her friends’ distrust. To make them both complete.

        It was all she needed. Her muscles tensed and her body tightened around his fingers, and she was falling, flying, floating on golden light as he watched and opened his mind eagerly to feel it.

           There was a snap above her head that she didn't care about at first, but as she came down, she could hear him laughing, his eyes holding a touch of surprise. She had done something to amuse him… There was something hard and cold in her hands, and when she let go, it clattered to the floor, clanging loudly in the small ship. She turned her head awkwardly, trying to see, and he pulled the gag out of her mouth, still snickering.

           “Oh.”

           “You broke the ship.”

           “It's just part of the bunk, it's not like I disabled the hyperdrive.”

           She was slightly embarrassed by it though, and she knew he could sense her feelings. He shook his head, favoring her with an arrogant smile.

           “Get up. We can't use the bed now, so we'll have to improvise.”

           She could feel heat building within her again, as he roughly dragged her by her bound wrists and bent her uncomfortably over the forward console.

           “Ben! If anyone looks over here they'll see us!”

           “Too bad. You broke my ship, now you have to suffer the consequences.”

           “It's _our_ ship.”

           “Sure, okay.” She gasped as he shoved her apart with his knee, pushing her down further. Her bare nipples pressed up against the cold steel, and she winced in pain. “But I own you, so everything you possess is subject to my will.”

           “I'd like to see you try and enforce that.”

           She struggled, trying to find some more comfortable position, and she whimpered when he grabbed her hair in his iron grip, trying to hold her still while he felt around between her legs.

           “You're being difficult tonight. I shouldn't have let you come so soon.”

           “Sorry, there are a lot of controls here that I'm trying” - she shifted as his seeking fingers found the right spot, gasping for breath - “not to accidentally activate.”

           “Stop _moving,_ ” he breathed irritably against her neck.

          She froze, groaning as he pushed into her, letting go of her hair to latch his hands over her hips. His thrusts were shockingly violent, and she clenched her teeth at first, her muscles tensing, trying to gain some purchase awkwardly with her elbows. But she loved the sounds he made, his voice deep and feral, the same noises he made when he fought or sparred with her, and she felt her blood warming. He eased off a little, feeling her discomfort, his thoughts brushing hers.

             _Do you want to stop?_

_No. Make noise for me. I need your voice._

            “You really want this?”

            “Yes!”

            “Louder. Say it louder!”

            She gave a wordless cry of pleasure and his responding growl resonated through her, sending warm thrills down her spine as she moaned and whined. Pressing hot kisses against her shoulders and the nape of her neck, his breath warmed her skin as he moved and she felt her body ease around him. He felt it too, thrusting with more power until he finally filled her completely, then withdrawing slowly to do it again.

            “Tell me you want me, Rey!"

            All he really had to do was say her name to make her beg desperately.

            “Fuck me,” she pleaded softly. Did he know she still blushed to say it? _Oh, of course he did_. She could sense his amusement. _“_ Please, _please._ ”

            “Oh, Rey. I'm going to fuck you all kriffing night. And you're going to let me, aren't you?” One hand moved up, sinking long fingers into her messy hair, and she gasped, giving a hesitant whimper. He leaned in, kissing insistently behind her earlobe. His words were gentle, affectionate. “Aren't you?”

            “Yes,” she agreed softly, then with more volume. "Yes!"

            The heat building inside of her spread out to relax her muscles and build slowly in her lower body. Once she was caught up in actual pleasure, she had no intention of stopping. But she wanted his mind, she wanted to find their shared place, to feel completed fully.

            _I want you. Everywhere._

_Of course._

           He let her in with no resistance, his thoughts and sensations laid across hers, winding them together. One hand reached around her, his fingers teasing her front, his other pushing her down and holding her as steady as possible while she panted and whined plaintively.

           She closed her eyes, since he couldn't see her, and gave herself over to him, sobbing and moaning, begging for release. For their release. He groaned in her ear, his breathing labored, and his thrusts came faster, until finally her body froze and cascading waves of pleasure consumed her. She heard his fierce voice gasping her name over and over, his frantic movements dragging out her climax.

          Finally the world stilled around them, filling her mind with brilliant, pure light, and he was there with her, smoothing over all of her dark places with his own, impossible light, while he pulled parts of her into himself.

            _You are so perfect, so beautiful, Rey. I cannot believe you want me._

            _Believe it. I want you, and I’m yours. Forever._

          They pulled the mattress off the bunk and tried to get comfortable with the paltry amount of pillows and blankets stored in the tiny ship. It didn't really work, but Rey didn't care, as long as she could be next to him. She could sleep almost anywhere, although she fully intended to sneak off and shower at some point before morning.

           “I'm sorry I let Poe Dameron get under my skin. I know this is important.” He sighed, tightening his arms around her as she lay with her back against him, nestled between the cage of his long legs in the cramped space.

        “You were all being idiots, honestly. They meant to provoke you, which is why Khawapashi kicked them out too. Chewie said something I thought was interesting.” She couldn't see his expression, but she felt him tense up. “Poe tried to say you have no right to the name Ben Solo. Chewie says you do. He said Han and Leia were his family. And you are too.”

         “Chewie said that?”

         “Yes.” She wished she could see his face. His mind was an exhausted mess, but she didn't feel any blinding anger or crushing self-loathing. “You should talk to him. Or at least try. It seemed like he… cared about you a great deal.”

         “I'll think about it.”

         He was quiet for a while, and she relaxed against him, her head resting against his arm. Rey had almost drifted to sleep when she felt his soft mouth on her neck and he gently shifted to squeeze one breast in his hand.

         “Ben,” she sighed, a tone of warning in her voice. She really was exhausted, despite his promise to fuck her all night, and she wanted at least a few hours of actual sleep.

         “Shh,” he soothed into her neck. “You don't have to do anything. Just let me worship you.”

          With gentle hands and soft words, he convinced her to lie back and submit to the sensations he drew from her. He was true to his word, bringing her waves of pleasure again and again, until she could barely move, and he wrapped her in blankets and held her in his warm arms as sleep came over her.

          

 

           Ben watched Kirin carefully, checking her mind to be sure she was really alright being alone with him. They were at the very top of the forest city, a landing meant for stargazing where Rey had spent a lot of time meditating. Kashyyyk was unusually strong with Force energy, and he wanted the girl to feel it. He had thought it should be Rey working with her, but his clever love had raised her eyebrows and suggested that he try it too, that the shared lesson might help her be less frightened of him.

            They sat cross-legged on the polished wood, some distance apart. He had sat down first and let her choose wherever she felt more comfortable. He didn't miss that she put herself closer to the stairs than to him.

             “Close your eyes. You're safe here.”

             She did, but he could sense her trepidation, her thoughts mostly occupied by the stairway and how quickly she could get away from him if he tried to hurt her. Ben sighed.

             “Kirin. We need to talk.” She opened her eyes, her brilliant purple irises widened. At least she was looking at him and not avoiding his gaze entirely. “Master Rey says you have a natural talent for empathy. It's a very unusual gift. The Jedi valued compassion, the Sith selfishness, but neither were inclined towards empathy. However… we are not Jedi, or Sith. You are free to be however you wish, so long as you're not threatening the stability of the galaxy.”

             “I don't want to fight anyone,” she admitted. “But I want to know how to defend myself.”

             “Hmm. Have you ever heard of Jedi mind tricks?”

              Her gaze shifted down to her hands, twisting one of the little silver rings she liked to wear. He had hoped, despite Rey’s measured analysis, that she would be able to train with weapons one day, but as his eyes took in her rings and the various bangles and braided bracelets on her wrists, he had to admit he couldn't imagine Kirin in a battle.

            She was lithe and graceful, but in the most delicate way, small-boned and perhaps the most _feminine_ creature he'd ever seen. After a lifetime of… whatever training she had undergone, there were too many habits to break.

             But he was beginning to think she didn't _need_ to fight. His mother was the strongest woman besides Rey he'd ever known, and she'd worn jewelry and gowns and makeup. And wielded a blaster, but only when every other option had failed. If they taught her like that, gave her every other non-combative skill the Force offered, perhaps Kirin wouldn't need to hold a lightsaber either.

            “It's a thing you use to make people do things… or stop doing things,” she mumbled softly, her voice oddly flat. “I know how to use it.”

            “How well would you say you can use it?”

             He did not miss her choice of words. _Stop people from doing things_. Rey was right, someone on Ord Mantell deserved a lightsaber through the skull. Possibly after searing off some appendages first. Supposedly, Sabine Wren had done just that to the fool who tried to claim her as stolen, but Kirin had confirmed that he was just one in a network of scumbags.

             “I… It worked really well on the…” She stumbled, her eyes darting everywhere but him. “They called them ‘breakers.’ Like the handlers who train riding beasts. I knew how it went if you fought, so I just convinced them that they didn't want to do certain things.”

           He took a deep breath. Kirin was sixteen. Oh, fucking stars, _sixteen_. How long had this training gone on? When did it start? He didn't want to show anger in front of her, but she was too damn perceptive. Her eyes flashed upward and she flinched when their gazes crossed.

          “I'm not angry at you, Kirin. Please don't ever think that.”

          “But you… I know what you do, with Master Rey. You're always so angry! I know you hurt her, I saw her arms. She tried to hide it, but I know what it looks like. She’s so kind! How can you do that to her?”

         She was staring intently, for once looking him in the eye, waves of rage echoing through the Force, and he sensed her trying to break into his mind. He could hold her off, but only by the strength of his training, and not for very long if he couldn't calm her down. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

         “Ask her about it,” he said mildly, forcing himself not to panic. He was suddenly _quite_ sure Kirin did not need battle training. She was already terrifying enough. “You can sense my anger - that's not surprising. I was trained to use it to fuel my powers. But what do you sense from Rey?”

         She frowned, her concentration on her psychic attack faltering.

         “I felt her once when you were gone. Everyone else was asleep. She was worried about you.”

        “That's the only time you've picked up her thoughts?”

         Kirin nodded. He could tell she was trying to hide her anxiety, but one of her head-tails twitched back and forth like a cat’s tail.

        “Is there anyone else besides me and Rey that you've accidentally listened to?”

        “Sometimes… the Stormtoopers like Rey a lot. They think because you're with her, things might get better for them, too. I can sense it when they walk past her in the halls, but they're too afraid to say anything. And some of your officers… well, a lot of them, actually, they think…” She looked up at him hesitantly, her bright eyes filled with emotion. “They call her nasty things, and they think it's… that she's… that it's not fair.”

         He had a pretty good idea what she meant by nasty things, and it galled him to remember that it was his public behavior that put some of those ideas in their heads. Even after he'd left her in command while he was gone. But he couldn't suddenly treat her like a princess, after establishing firmly that she was his apprentice. Perhaps they could arrange an argument. A strong enough display of her power should have them quaking in their boots.

         “They think they should be allowed to keep their own whores?”

         She flinched at the wording, but nodded. He had expected no less from Hux’s army. He would have to discuss it with Sloane, give some demotions, shift some planetary forces to starships. They'd need to anyway when they got the new cruisers commissioned from the Mandalorians.

       “Then I guess I need to make it clearer to them that Rey is not my personal property.”

        There were times he liked to pretend that, but he knew better. Their powers were evenly matched, and he'd had more training. Given a few years’ time, she would be beyond even him, although… given the nature of their bond, he wasn't sure if they could ever surpass each other. He turned his attention back to Kirin.

        “Regardless of how useful it is, it's an invasion of privacy to read someone's thoughts. I trust you know that by now?”

        “Yes, sir. Master Rey said that too. But, I had to use it before to keep myself safe.”

        “I didn't say don't use it. Use your best judgment.” He waited to make sure she wasn't going to ask stupid questions like ‘how will I know’ or ‘what do you mean by ‘best judgment’, but to his relief, Kirin was not an imbecile. Another benefit to collecting students who were nearly adults, with actual life experiences. Something the Sith had understood, while the Jedi went about collecting younger and younger children in the hopes that a blank slate would be easier to keep pure.

         “Now, what did you mean by convincing them not to do things?”

         “I…” She looked down. “I’m sorry, Master Solo, it's hard to say. I know it's just the way the world is, sometimes, but since I came back with Master Rey, it's been so easy to forget. I refuse to go back there, even in my head.”

          He realized belatedly that he should never have asked. The girl had so much potential, he just wanted to know where to begin, but of course he didn't want to force her to relive those experiences.

          “No, no. It's okay. I just need to know the level of influence you're capable of. Let's try it this way. You can try to give me an order, and we'll see what happens.”

          She fixed him suddenly with her beautiful bright eyes. It was easy to see why someone had been drawn to Kirin, with her distinctive coloring and delicate features, and he was looking forward to meeting that someone one day. He wasn't consumed by rage and hatred anymore, but he had not thrown off the dark side entirely. Sometimes, vengeance and power were needed to make the galaxy a better place, something he had learned very early, from his own mother, long before she sent him away.

          “I think I have something. Are you ready?” She asked. There was a trace of amusement in her eyes, and he was reminded that she was still a teenage girl.

          “Yes.”

  


          Rey and Rose were sitting in the War Room with Commander Sloane, sipping tea and pouring over shared intelligence documents. While Phasma's last report indicated she'd had to flee, and they would have to wait and see if the artifacts she recovered were of any use, Rose had surprised them by mentioning one of the surviving Rebels had actually participated in the Battle of Jakku. They were listening to Temmin Wexley’s report now.

         “It's not exactly Starkiller. The whole planet is basically a bomb. Emperor Palpatine never intended for his Empire to outlive him. One of his cronies used Admiral Sloane to bring in the remnants, then they were supposed to complete an ancient Sith ritual to get to the core. My parents and Admiral Sloane stopped it. Why doesn't the First Order have this information? Brendol Hux _and_ Rae Sloane were there.” The blue holographic figure cut in and out, reception on the Resistance base Wexley was at was unreliable, but they could hear his voice clearly enough. Commander Sloane frowned.

        “I don't know much personally. My mother wasn't a very talkative person. I think she was bitter about Snoke taking over, but she didn't want her views to interfere with my career.” She frowned at the datapad in front of her, displaying Commander Phasma’s report. “Still. There ought to have been something. We have Imperial archives that predate the end of the Old Republic. My guess is someone had it removed.”

        “Could it have been Hux?” Rey speculated.

        She hardly knew the man, but from Ben and Sloane’s descriptions, it didn't seem like he had the intelligence to manipulate records for use in a long-term plan.

        “Brendol Hux, maybe. My best guess would be Snoke though.” The officer glanced thoughtfully at the hologram. “Since Jakku still exists, I take it they were unsuccessful in activating it. Is it still live? Could someone with the right knowledge and tools still get in to use it?”

        “That I don't know,” Wexley admitted. “I'll see if I can get anything more for you. Check back in tomorrow.”

       “Thanks, Snap.” Rose reached over and switched off the transmitter. “So when do you expect Phasma back, Commander? And is… Ben… going to be able to decipher that black thing? You said you _think_ it's a Sith relic, but no one really knows-”

       She stopped talking as Ben came in the door, stalking directly to Rey in one purposeful stride and scooping her out of her chair, holding her in his arms as if she were a sleeping child.

       “What are you doing?” She whispered. “I thought you were going to work with Kirin!”

       He didn't respond, so she started flailing, kicking her legs out and trying to climb down his large frame.

       “Ben! Put me down! You can't just carry me off against my will!”

       His long legs had taken them into the courtyard now, bringing a baffled Sloane and a giggling Rose out after them and catching the attention of several Wookies going about their daily routine.

       When he still didn't reply, she reached for the bond and felt something… strange. His mind was blank, quiet except for the the singular purpose of collecting her and bringing her…

      She burst into laughter, waving at Rose and Sloane.

      “It's okay, it's just a training incident. I'll explain later.”

       _BEN!!_

**_BEN SOLO!! Stop!_ **

      Thankfully he did, frowning down at her, his dark eyes wild and slightly embarrassed. His voice was soft, like he'd been sleeping.

       “Rey? What… what happened?”

       “Put me down and I'll explain,” she demanded. After he complied, he remained staring at her, his brow furrowed and his lips twitching with a touch of anger. “Did you ask Kirin to put a compulsion on you?”

        He looked like he was about to die in agony of his wounded pride, while she giggled, her hand squeezing his arm.

        “Don't worry, I don't think everyone saw. Just Rose and Commander Sloane and anyone out here who heard me shouting.” His eyes were so wide, she could see white almost all the way around, and he spun on his heel, looking about wildly.

        “Commander Sloane saw? What did I do?”

        “Nothing, really. You just came in and swept me off my feet.” She giggled.

         Force bless Kirin, she was going to remember this for the rest of her life. Ben Solo scooping her up in the middle of a strategy meeting like a dashing, dark prince. She didn't know he could blush like that. It reached the top of his ears, and she couldn't resist reaching up to touch one. He grabbed her wrist and swatted her hand away.

        “Don't. Don't say a word about my ears.”

        Rey smirked at his overly serious expression.

        “Oh no, I would never.”

        She was grinning and trying to hide it. He could be so weirdly self-conscious sometimes, and she couldn't help the impulse to tease him, just a little. She reached up again after they started walking, and he swatted her hand away, shaking his head so his hair fell messily to cover the source of his embarrassment.

        When she raised a hand one more time, intending to brush his hair back, he caught her wrist, lifting her up and using the Force to sweep her into his arms again, her legs bent over one arm while he held her head and shoulders against his chest.

        She kicked and complained, but he ignored her, carrying her all the way up to the top platform. His breathing was labored by the time he reached the top, and he set her down quickly, leaning on the railing.

       “I never realized how he-” Rey's eyes flashed, and she could hear Kirin gasp behind her. Thankfully, he swallowed his words. “-solid you are. My fierce warrior.”

        She studied his face intently for a long moment before turning to Kirin.

        “I can't believe you did that. I've only managed Stormtroopers myself.”

        “Completely untrained,” Ben added. “Your very first use of the Force.”

        “No, my first use was repelling your invasion of my mind.” There was no venom in it, they had both come to terms with the circumstances that drew them together. She raised her hand, striding towards the girl. “We know your powers of influence are strong. How about resisting influence?”

         “I don't know, I've never had anyone try to get inside my head.” She shuddered with fear and disgust.

         “Don't worry, you'll only be stuck up here for a few hours. I won't hurt you. Trust me.”

         “Okay,” Kirin murmured uncertainly. Rey could sense Ben watching with interest. She had never really done this in front of him before.

         **_“You will sit down, and meditate here until nightfall.”_ **

        The girl's eyes began to glaze over, then she rallied and gave herself a shake.

        “But Genji wanted me to meet his mother!”

        Rey tilted her head, glancing at Ben for help, but of course he was useless. His battle prowess was legendary, but Snoke had not really taught him to master the more subtle mental Force skills. The longer they spent together, the more she realized how well they complimented each other.

        Especially training their students. Rey still wasn't thrilled about it, but she didn't know of anyone else out there building a tradition of Force users, so she couldn't say she didn't believe in the cause.

        “Let's try one more.” She closed her eyes, breathing in the solid blue-green current of Kashyyyk’s magnificent natural Force reserves. Calm. Serene. Confident.

         **_“You will sit down, and meditate here until Genji comes to get you.”_ **

**** “I will sit down and meditate until Genji comes to get me,” Kirin repeated in a toneless voice. Rey felt a flash of triumph, although she was quite proud of what the girl had accomplished so far. She backed away slowly until she bumped into Ben. He glanced down, and they shared a smile. She had a sudden thought, and she leapt up onto the wooden railing.

          _Want to follow me?_

 He looked over, at the several-thousand foot drop into forest vegetation and then up at Rey’s bright, confident eyes. She held out her hand, and he took it.

          _Why not?_

    


	7. Let the Past Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot here, sadly no smut, but these plot points are kinda important if you care about that stuff. 
> 
> Seriously, Poe, just can't help antagonizing the space wizards.
> 
> Gotta love those uncomfortable classroom discussions :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have some of the facts from Aftermath wrong, I can't find the third book and I have so many Google tabs up right now, I figured I'd just post this stuff and hope I didn't make too many mistakes.

         He soon discovered why not. While his arms were longer, Rey's balance and instincts were better, and she was an experienced climber. What was a brisk morning exercise for her left him panting and aching on the spaceport landing, leaning against a wall of tree bark and trying to regain his breath. Ben was nearly a decade older than her, and in this one moment, he felt it. His heavy arm guards and boots hadn't helped either.

       Still struggling to catch his breath, he tried to fathom how the hell the Wookies did it. Any of them weighed far more than he did, even in full armor, but they'd passed several who called out greetings to Rey. She had that effect on people. Her kind smile and confident manner encouraged hope in the people around her, she was always doing her best to help others, despite her need for independence, and they loved her for it. 

       And Ben was the only one who had seen her by herself, seen her frightened and lonely and lost, seeking comfort in the eyes of a man who should have been her enemy. And he had seen her come undone in his arms, her face flushed and her hungry, heated eyes, the desperate sounds she made chasing her orgasm. He realized he had closed his eyes, and glanced up to find her watching him with that little private intensity she reserved only for him.

       “Are you going to live?”

       “I think so.”

       “Good. We should find Ceres, she got a report back from Phasma that you need to see, and then we're going to try again to consolidate our strategy meeting - what?”

        He realized he was staring, his mouth slightly parted, and gathered himself. It had taken him a moment to remember that Commander Sloane even had a first and last name, and Rey dropped it like they'd been close friends for years. The other officers might not like her, but she had truly made an ally of the normally quiet, reserved Commander, and he was quite glad he had promoted her to commanding officer of the  _ Finalizer. _ He wasn't so sure about Phasma, frankly he was surprised to find her on his side at all, given her long history of working with Hux. He would need to install some eyes and ears aboard the  _ Absolution _ once she returned.

        “Ben?”

        “Yes, of course. Let's find Commander Sloane.” 

        She had said something else too, about consolidating a strategy meeting? His eyes roamed over her as she walked beside him along the wide wooden walkway, passing above the spaceport. Ahead, they approached the large courtyard where the Wookies’ major civic buildings and markets sprawled across the wide wroshyr branches.   

        “You said something about a strategy meeting?”

        She stopped, her hand on his arm, drawing him to look down at her. In the green light of Kashyyyk her eyes were a lighter color, a warm amber, framed by her long dark lashes. He had to resist pulling her into his arms and pressing kisses over her face. Some softness must have passed over his eyes, because her expression warmed suddenly and she smiled.

         “I really wish we had some time to just relax,” she sighed. He nodded, waiting for her to continue. She took a deep breath. “We are going to meet in the War Room with Poe and Rose to discuss strategy. Just Poe and Rose. We thought it might be easier. I know Finn's going to have a fit, but it's not fair the way they gang up on-”

        He tensed, and she froze. Did they think he was an imbecile? He did not need her to  _ protect _ him, like they were children on a playground. No. He'd rather face Dameron and the traitor together than suffer that kind of insult to his pride, surely she knew that! He could see she did, she sensed his anger and the cause of it, but she didn't argue. She leaned her head against his shoulder and gave another deep sigh.

        “Please, do go on about how you feel Dameron and Finn are ganging up on me.” 

        He wanted to hear the whole conversation, and for a moment, his old instincts flared and he was tempted to reach into her mind and take it. He knew he could, with the Force bond so strong and how often they had shared each other's minds, she wouldn't be able to resist. But he did not think he could bear the full force of Rey's cold rage on top of every other insult he'd had to put up with today. 

        Eyes flashing, she stepped away from him, turning resolutely to continue down the path. He caught up with her quickly, grabbing her arm, and she yanked herself away irritably. 

       “I'm not trying to make this difficult, you know. Snap Wexley said Jakku's core is a planet-sized bomb. We - Rose, Sloane and myself - think he's trying to lure us there so he can destroy the First Order  _ and _ the Resistance.”

      “He has to have a way out. He's vicious, but he's a coward. He wouldn't risk his own life, even with the assurance of mutual destruction.”

      “Commander Sloane agrees with you, but Poe is convinced we have to take him out when we have the chance, even if we risk countless lives to do it. You guys have got to talk to each other!” She wheeled on him, glowering, daring him to say something contentious.

      “I won't start something unless he does.” Ben said flatly. She was right, but he wasn't just going to sit there like a weak-willed herd beast and let the Resistance leader make him look foolish. 

       “How about neither of you start something?” Her tone was exasperated, but her beautiful liquid eyes begged him. He wanted very much to reassure her, to promise that he would behave like she wanted, but it was not a promise he could keep, and he had never been in the practice of lying to her.

        “Rey… I don’t know. I will try. For your sake.” He brought his hands up to cup her head, holding her gaze. “I cannot be someone - something - I'm not. I'm sorry.”

        “No you're not, you just want me to forgive you.” But she tugged his head down and let him kiss her the way he liked, lingering too long, just enough to make her uncomfortable in public. He loved the way her cheeks flushed when he let her go, how she averted her eyes from anyone near enough to see. 

        Of course, the traitor would choose that moment to suddenly appear on the path, following his girlfriend out from one of the buildings. They were clearly in the middle of an argument, he could hear her voice growing shrill, but she got quiet suddenly. Followed by a loud slap.

        “Oh, come on! They're in public, it's indecent!”

        Slowly, Rey turned towards them, while Ben could not help the arrogant smirk that crept across his face. He reached out and slipped his arm casually around her waist.  _ Take a good look, Finn. This is mine. _

        “Whatever!” The dark-skinned young man turned and stalked off in the opposite direction. His lover gave them a quick look of apology before dashing after him, calling his name in a sharp, persistent tone. Under his arm, he felt Rey sigh again.

       “Let's just go find Ceres. Come on.”

       What was she mad about? She was the one who initiated the kiss! They had been open about their affection since he returned from Taris, and it had never bothered her before. Did she think he'd planned for her friends to happen across it? 

        He frowned and followed after her, now just as annoyed. This whole meeting was turning out to be a waste of time, and it wasn't his fault, but she seemed determined to lay the blame at least partly at his feet. He occupied himself with fantasies of how he would punish her for this ridiculous behavior, thinking of new ways to torture her, knowing she would let him, regardless of her public facade.

 

 

     Rey gripped the handle of her chair and sunk into it as much as she thought she could get away with. If it helped them get along for an hour, she could tolerate Ben projecting at her, but Force help her if someone asked her a question. He looked perfectly calm, damn him, listening as Rose explained Temmin Wexley’s report and went on to talk about the Resistance members involved in the Battle of Jakku, some of whom were still alive.

      “Wedge Antilles?” He piped up. Rose paused to glance down at her notes, and Ben took the opportunity to project a specific memory at her - the very first night, when he'd paralyzed her and then knelt before her… She closed her eyes, silently grateful for the sturdy, wroshyr-wood furniture.

      “Er… yes?” She saw Ben rolling his eyes, and she had to admit it was irritating how often Poe and Rose seemed to forget whose child he was.

      “He's still alive?”

      “In his 70’s, but yes. He was only involved in the space battle though. It was Snap’s parents and their… allies… who followed Admiral Rax into the core. Along with Admiral Rae Sloane and Brendol Hux.” She shot at glance at Commander Sloane, while Rey sat up suddenly. 

        “Your mother's name was Rey?” She hadn't meant to draw everyone's attention, it was just a question she had been dying to ask. She'd heard it before, but this time curiosity finally got the better of her, and she leapt at the chance of distraction. She'd never known anyone with the same name as her, and she wondered…. Sloane caught her inquisitive stare and shook her head slightly.

         “Spelled differently. R-a-e. I don't think there's any relation, I'm sorry. She was dark like me and FN -  _ Finn _ .” She gave Rey a quick half smile. “I believe she would have liked you though.”

         Rey nodded, her thoughts drifting. She sensed Ben probing, but he felt the tone of her thoughts and left off torturing her. She had chosen her own way to spell her name, while she was teaching herself to read from old books and holos scavenged from the officer's quarters on the Star Destroyers. She really had no way of knowing how her parents might have spelled it. She had often thought it was probably a nickname, or Plutt had shortened it down from something too difficult for his thuggish brain to recall. 

           She supposed they must have had a family name of some kind, but she didn't remember it.One night while the overseer was gone, she broke into his little scrap metal hut, searching for any kind of records, a bill of sale or some kind of ledger, but the blubbery creature could only read or write numbers, utilizing a childish series of pictograms to indicate his stock. She had stolen some supplies, small things he wouldn't miss, and altered the accounts accordingly.

        She felt Ben's eyes on her across the table, and realized he was still following her thoughts. Her face flushed for a different reason. He was right, she had wasted enough of her life searching for a belonging. Maz Kanata’s prediction rang in her mind. She had a place to belong now, and her past wasn't a part of it.

_ A place to belong? _

_          With you. _

         His projection this time was different. She was underneath him, on the hotel bed on Mandalore, her eyes squeezed closed, lips pressed together in an expression of pain, and his heart stopped, he could not bring himself to hurt her. Then she opened her eyes, and there was still pain, but she latched onto him with such force and her determined gaze held him, and something inside of him  _ broke _ . It was the first time he understood what he had been feeling since he first saw her, the rush of emotion that made him defy and murder his master. That shattered his sanity when she refused to join him.  _ Love. _

       “And now I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Supreme Leader,” Poe Dameron’s voice cut across the room. “Are you done with your little… Force-commlink-thing? Can we get on with the rest of the meeting now?”

_ Are you going to do something about that? _

__ Rey slowly brought her gaze over to Poe, and smiled the sweetest, fakest smile she could manage. She watched his face turn white, but she didn't address him at all. Instead she turned to Rose, letting her expression return to normal.

       “When do you expect to hear back from Wexley?”

       “Uh… he said tomorrow, but it was nighttime where he is, so… I think maybe early this morning?”

       Rey noticed she was eyeing Poe and Ben cautiously, while Commander Sloane was alert and tense. She did her best to continue as if nothing unusual had occurred, and slowly everyone, including Ben, relaxed.

      Sloane's comm beeped, interrupting something Poe was saying, and she stood up, her eyes on Ben.

     “Sorry to interrupt, sir, but Commander Phasma is back.”

     “And the artifacts?” 

     “Corporal Lethe is headed here now.” 

     Ben rose, glancing from Sloane to Rey, and she could see the hint of excitement in his eye. 

     “Sorry, but Rey, can you-” She jumped up, gesturing for Commander Sloane to stay seated.

    “Like I would let you handle dangerous Sith relics on your own. Sloane can stay here, she's more useful than I am anyway.” She knew he wouldn't argue in front of Poe, but as soon as they were out of earshot, he started up.

    “I have no idea what these things can do, Rey.”

    “That makes two of us.”

    “You don't understand, you could get-”

    She caught him completely off guard, his shields down, and his eyes rolled in impotent rage at the betrayal. She merely stood facing him, her own stare angry and cold. He eventually had the grace to look ashamed, and she released him from her paralysis.

    “I think maybe you don't understand, Ben Solo!” Before he could argue, she grabbed his hands and leaned in, catching and holding his wide, angry eyes. “We are in this  _ together. _ We face dangers  _ together. _ Do you understand me?”

     His eyes moved across her face, looking for a way out. She even felt him try to reach into her mind. And that hurt. She had halfway expected it, and shielded accordingly, but it still stung.

    She slapped him, hard, with the back of her hand. And then she stalked down to the landing platform to wait for the  _ Absolution’s  _ shuttle to land. Eventually, she felt him come up behind her, and she could feel how unhappy he was, the aching regret in the pit of his stomach. Wordlessly, she reached her hand out, and he took it.

    “Never again,” she whispered, gripping his hand in hers like a steel trap.

_ I trust you. I've shown you that over and over. You have to trust me. _

__ “I know,” he whispered aloud, his voice hoarse. 

    She glanced over and saw a faint glimmer of wetness on his lashes, glinting in the running lights of the landing spaceship. He brought her hand to his lips and brushed kisses along her knuckles.

    “I've lost everyone that ever mattered to me. So I apologize if I am a little afraid of losing you.”

     That had never occurred to her. She had been angry with his parents, and Luke, and of course Snoke, but she forgot that there had been a time when he had family. People he cared about. And eventually, that monster had stripped him of all of it. She thought about the Emperor, and how Ben explained he had created Darth Vader by slowly destroying every personal relationship Anakin Skywalker had, finally using the death of his wife to break the man completely. She shuddered suddenly, squeezing his hand.

_ Snoke really was trying to make another Vader out of you. _

_       Yes, I know. _

_       No. I mean he… what he said, about bridging our minds, giving us those visions… if I had died there in that room… _

__ She felt his mind grow still, and she closed her eyes, reliving every moment, as she had so many times. He pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

_ I would never have let that happen. _

_        But what if it had? What if you fought for me and… failed? _

_        I thought about that. I only saw two options. Leave there with you, or die there with you.  _ She could feel the smirk tugging at his lips.  _ I underestimated you. _

_        Well, I hope you learned your lesson. _

   The data chip was damaged, but once they were both satisfied it wouldn't hurt anything, they had given it to R2-D2 to play. Rey hadn't wanted the apprentices there, but Ben had overruled her, insisting that they didn't need to be coddled.  _ Life is hard. People are evil. Nothing is fair. _

       When he made those points, she couldn't really argue. But he felt… remorse? now as they watched the holo play. It was a catalogue of Force-sensitive children compiled by Imperial Inquisitors at the tail end of the Empire's existence. It had belonged to someone named Yupe Tashu, someone Snap Wexley had identified as one of the Emperor's inner circle of dark Force users. 

      “What happened to them?” Rey murmured quietly after it was over. 

      Ben didn't know, but he could guess.

      “Some became Inquisitors. The Praetorian Guard. Some were probably killed in Sith rituals.”

      He could see Kirin’s closed expression and Genji’s downcast, pained eyes. Rey had told him of the origin of the wroshyr lightsaber. It was the burden of all Force-sensitives. The universe was not kind to them. Rey was staring at him, her beautiful liquid eyes full of sadness. She was pressing her hand to her lips in that habit she had, trying to hide her expression, but he could read her fairly well by now.

     “The… the Praetorian Guard… Snoke’s guards?”

     Ben shrugged. She was upset at killing them, he could tell. That was Rey all over. She would fight to defend herself and anyone she cared about, but she still felt remorse for the necessity. Once again, he was reminded of the Jedi Code, and how much she embodied it without meaning to. He had a feeling that was the point, but years and years of strict structure and dogma had turned it into a  _ rulebook _ instead of simple ideals passed from one generation to the next. Instead of accepting that no being could attain perfection, and revering the Code as something to strive for, the Jedi Council had tried to enforce it, as if anyone could actually achieve all of those things at once. 

        Rey had been at him to try and come up with more academic studies for their students, but he hadn't been sure where to start.  He was beginning to get a rough idea.

      “Yes,” he answered her anguished question. “You killed some of them. Does that bother you?”

      “It doesn't bother you?”

      “No, it doesn't. They would have killed us, without hesitation.” 

       He met her gaze clearly, refusing to feel guilt for defending her, or himself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

     “You shouldn't feel nothing after taking a life. I'm not saying I regret defending myself, I will fight. And kill. If I have too. But I still regret that it had to happen.” Her eyes unfocused, and he could feel her retreat into her thoughts. He also noticed their students paying close attention to the exchange.

    “ _ Kill or be killed, there is no choice,”  _ Genji observed. _ “If the enemy is not prepared to die, they should not have attacked.” _

    “I'm not disagreeing, but I understand Master Rey. All death is a loss,” Kirin insisted. “We can't be completely blaise about it. At least be respectful of the life you've taken.”

_ “Some, perhaps. Like prayers to the spirit of the hunted. But there are beings for whom even death is not punishment enough.”  _

     The Wookie glanced over, but Ben remained silent, observing the exchange. 

     Kirin shook her head.

    “Just because they deserve it doesn't mean I won't feel sadness. People are complicated. You never know what happened in their life to shape what they've become. It's not… it's not anyone's place to judge who deserves to live and die.”

_ “Yes, it is. That is why we have elders and rulers and laws. So that judgment and punishment are accounted for.” _

    Kirin shook her head, her beaded earrings clinking together softly.

    “You're not listening to me, Genji! I didn't mean there shouldn't be punishment! I just think… life is precious. All life is precious. Have you ever seen a dead body? Have you ever killed anyone?” The Twi’lek’s voice was louder than he'd ever heard, and sharp with emotion. She shook her head at Genji's warbled ‘no.’ “Then you don't understand! You have no room to talk!”

    She covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes darting wildly, then got up and fled the room. He waited to see if Rey would follow her, but when he met her startled eyes, she shook her head slightly. Something about the holo had deeply upset her, and she didn't have the emotional reserves to cope with a frightened student.

      So he found himself sitting on a railing in a little alcove outside a teahouse, beside a quietly crying teenage girl, with absolutely no idea what to say or do.

     “Who did you kill?” He asked finally, drawing a conclusion from her dramatic response.

     “The man who… sold spice to my mother. He was horrible, just… just unimaginably awful. Sometimes, when she didn't have any money, she paid for it with sex. She would lock us in the closet, but we could hear everything. He was cruel. And then, my sister… he said he would give a lot more, for one of us… I didn't mean to kill him. She was going to do it, to protect me.” She wiped tears from her eyes with the palm of her hand. “It didn't matter. None of it mattered. My mom died, and the landlord sold us to pay for her debt. I never saw my sister again, and they… sold me to the highest bidder, at the brothel. I could have killed him, too, but by then I just thought, what's the point? I knew I could persuade people when I wanted, so that's what I did. They deserved to die, they all deserved to die, but I didn't want to have to watch them. And that's how the Red Hand found me.”

       “You didn't kill men who  _ raped _ you, because you couldn't stand to watch them die?” 

       He knew he could have phrased that better, but Kirin's whole existence made him so furious, and to top it all off, she had to go and be the kindest, most compassionate person he had ever encountered. 

     She looked over at him out of the corner of her eye, and nodded unhappily, nervously fiddling with her jewelry. Ben sighed. What in the kriffing galaxy were they going to do with these kids? 

      Kirin was a pacifist, Genji was a sheltered child with no real world experience who thought battles were fun, and then there was Pashi… He was absolutely certain that girl would be as much trouble as Rey and Kirin put together, but he respected her spirit. Hopefully being left alone to train on a Star Destroyer with nothing to do distract her would give her some balance. Actually, despite his initial reaction, he was sort of hoping the girls would balance each other like Rey had balanced him.  _The apprentices were your fucking idea, idiot. The universe is not kind to Force-users._

     “Who is the Red Hand?” 

      He waited patiently for her to gather the courage to meet his eyes. 

     “They… specialize in Force-sensitives. They have ways of blocking it, and people will pay a lot. Especially darksiders. But mostly they deal in… producing children.” She didn't seem to have the strength to say more, and he didn't press her, though his mind was a fog of rage.

     “Look, Kirin.” Ben tried to make himself breathe, to steady himself with the lifeforce he shared with Rey. “We all have to make our own choices. The only person you answer to is yourself. But leave the past in the past if you can. Be whatever  _ you _ want to be.”

    “What about you?” Her vivid eyes held him.

    “What do mean?”

    “I mean… your past made you who you are. The good  _ and _ the bad. And your family is kinda famous. No leaving that in the past, even if you want to.”

     “My family is dead now.”  _ Kill it if you have to… _

     Kirin looked away, gazing down at her hands.  

     “Yeah, but they left you in charge of the galaxy. Whether you wanted it or not. General Organa is gone, Luke Skywalker is gone, but you still carry their legacy. Poe Dameron can pretend all he likes, but he knows better. Princess Leia is gone, but her son is alive. Even on Mandalore there were people who admired you.” She glanced briefly at his expression out of the corner of her eye. “‘It doesn't matter  _ what  _ he is, he's the Princess’ son.’ ‘The Skywalkers were meant to rule, it's the will of the Force.’ ‘Sith have been redeemed before.’ You hear a lot, in the line of work I was in.”

     He opened his mouth to reply, and found he couldn't think of anything to say. He had a terrible feeling Kirin was  _ right _ , and for some reason, it bothered him. He had betrayed his family. Killed his father, and caused the death of his mother and uncle. He did not deserve to lead the galaxy. How could anyone think otherwise?

     But he didn't have much time to think, as they both turned at the sound of Genji, yowling and waving his arms frantically. He pounded down the path as fast as his legs could carry him, with Kirin right behind.


	8. ...It's Like Really Hard Though...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really hard to let the past die when it keeps popping up everywhere, especially those snarky Forcd Ghosts.
> 
> Hux and Phasma, getting their evil plotting on, as per usual...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. But I swear, there will be no Reylo babies.

          Ben lifted his arm to play the scene again, but Rey's hand on his stopped him. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face red from tears that still threatened to spill. They sat on the floor of the little guest house the Wookies had given them, watching the scene on his datapad.

        “Don't. I've seen it enough.” 

        She leaned back, against his chest, and he folded his arms around her tightly. They had watched it, over and over, for at least half an hour. The very last scene of the recording. A woman in a First Order uniform, her face haunted and frightened, holding a toddler that was undeniably Rey. 

        There was no sound in the recording, no date or time. They watched as the woman handed her over to a couple of shabbily-dressed spacers, then gave them a small bag that appeared to be money. The couple carried a bawling, sobbing Rey onto their tiny freighter as her flailing arms reached out for the female officer. Just as the recording ended, blaster bolts began flying through the hangar, destroying whatever monitoring device had been used.

         “I'll ask Sloane to look into it,” he started. Rey said nothing. “She had to have some medical care. There would be records.”

        “I don't care,” she said finally. “I don't want to know.”

       “Okay. Okay.”

      “Those people… are they the ones you saw in your vision?”

      He had paid close attention to the scavengers as soon as he realized what was going on. After ten more viewings, he was certain.

      “Yes.”

      “A First Order officer. Why would she pay someone to take me away?”

      Ben shifted uncomfortably, remembering the arguments his parents had about his powers, and his mother's admission that she had seen dark in him from the beginning. He could think of a few reasons for a caring parent in the First Order to give up a Force-sensitive child.

     “She was protecting you. From Snoke, or Hux, or both.”

      Rey sat up and turned around to face him, her injured eyes seeking his and holding them for a long moment. He could tell she was hurting, but not as much as he would have expected, held up by a solid undercurrent of serenity. Her eyes dropped down his face suddenly, and she leaned in. He kissed her softly, at first, thinking she just wanted comfort, but she persisted, drawing her tongue along his lip until he let her in, bringing his hands up to caress her face. 

       She moved forward, climbing into his lap, her legs sliding down on either side of him, her kiss becoming more intense. His body responded swiftly to the contact, and she rocked her hips over him, closing her eyes, her hands sliding up under his shirt and spreading out over the muscles of his abdomen and chest.

       He broke the kiss to peel off his shirt, and she did the same, her hands now gliding over the flesh of his shoulders to sink into his hair. He tugged off the small scrap of fabric over her breasts and pulled her body upwards so he could slip her hard nipple into his mouth, and she gasped, her strong hands clasped around his head, holding him there. 

       It was a slow, sensual affirmation, just as heated, but without their usual urgency. He suckled both of her nipples, with gentle caresses of his tongue, then she drew his mouth back to hers for another long, lingering kiss. Finally, she stood up, holding her hands out to him.

      “Make love to me. I need to feel you.” 

       Wordlessly, his eyes fixed on hers, he took her hands and stood up, then swooped in and gathered her into his long arms, carrying her to the bed. She didn't protest, her lovely mouth forming a soft smile when he laid her down. She watched as he eased off her short leggings and pressed his mouth against her center through the thin fabric of her underwear, gently teasing her, before sliding them off and leaving her completely nude. He kicked off his boots and removed the rest of his clothes slowly while her eyes drank him in, and she sighed happily when he freed himself from his pants, reaching out to wrap her warm hand around his length and tug gently. 

        He closed his eyes as she put her mouth around him, drawing him in as far as she could and then dragging her lips back over him in a slow, steady rhythm while he stood beside the bed, looking down and stroking her hair. Eventually he pushed her to her back, settling himself on top of her, and she spread her legs around him, drawing him into more lavish kisses. 

       He made a slow exploration of her body with his mouth, listening to the sweet sound of her soft moans and gasps. He moved down and spread her wide with his hands, drawing out louder, more urgent sounds with his mouth and tongue. He pressed his long fingers inside her, feeling for the place she liked best, reaching for her mind to adjust his strokes. The rush of their thoughts joining was dizzying, and he paused in wonder at the strength of her affection, her  _ need _ to find comfort in this, to feel loved and safe and wanted. All of the things he gave to her freely, that no one else ever had.

_ Home. You are my home. _

_         Rey. Marry me. _

__ “What?” Hearing her startled voice out loud made him pause, and she shifted against him impatiently. “No, no, don't stop.”

 He kept going, adding a third finger, thrusting in and out faster as he felt her release building. She threaded her fingers through his hair, making a mess of it on purpose, still thrilled at the sight of his dark head between her legs.

         “Yes,” she panted. “Please, yes.”

         He flicked his tongue over her sensitive nub rapidly, his fingers filling her, until he felt her climax roll over her, over them both. He didn't wait for her to come down, quickly exchanging his fingers for his pulsing erection, and they both moaned at the sudden intensity as he filled her to the hilt with one long thrust. He met her gaze, looking down to see the fire flare in her hungry eyes, and his breath caught.

        “Please, Rey.”

        “I said yes!”

        He froze. She meant it?

_ You're in my mind, you idiot! _

_         Ohhh… Oh. _

        He thrust into her wildly, excitement and relief fueling his need, his heart pounding like it would fly out of his chest. She locked her legs around him, her heels digging into his lower back, her hands grasping his arms.

_ I want everyone to know who you belong to, _  he confessed. She had already written her claim across his body, but he found himself wanting to claim her in the same way. __

_       Yes. You possess me. Does that make you happy? _

_       More than you know. _

_       Good. Take me like you own me. _

__ He groaned and leaned down to whisper in her ear, feeling her body arching into him, building to another release.

      “Come for me again.”

      “Make me!” 

       He pulled her hands from his back and pinned them above her with one hand, tracing her ear with his tongue, drawing his mouth down her neck to nip and suck at the soft, freckle-dappled skin of her shoulders. Rey's slim hips strained against him, and he could feel the muscles inside her fluttering and clenching around him as her cries grew louder with each thrust.

      “Yes, Rey! Let me see what I do to you.”

      He loved the way she moaned when he spoke against her ear, the little whining, frenzied noise she made chasing her release as he pounded into her, her body finally freezing all over, contracting around his length in the moment of climax. He watched it break over her face, the glazed fire in her eyes, the waves of joy filling her mind. It drove him over the edge too, and he closed his eyes when he sensed the light overcome them both, reminding them of their impossible, shared lifeforce. 

       Rey was crying again when he opened his eyes, and he kissed away her tears, cupping her face in one palm as he waited for her to gather herself enough to speak.

      “I don't want to know my parents’ name. I want yours,” she whispered.

      He kissed her again. And again. All over her face and eyes and neck, until she giggled and teased him by tousseling his hair every which way, making him shake his head to try and get it back in order.

      “You really want to be Mrs. Solo?” He quirked an eyebrow. “My mother wouldn't like it.”

      “Your mother loved me.”

      “I know, but she never got to be Mrs. Solo. She kept her family name.”

      “Good. Then it's not weird.” She laughed at his strangled look.

      “Why would it be weird?”

      “Well, I mean… I don't want anyone to think I'm like… To compare me to her.”

      “Trust me, no one is going to think that.” He thought of the way Leia’s acquaintances and so-called friends would react to Rey and resolved to introduce her as his wife at the very next opportunity. 

       “Rey Solo,” his eyes went wide as she tried the name on her tongue. He felt something, the barest tremor through the Force, warm and bright and  _ solid. _ “I like it, actually.”

        “Me too.”

        It was latr and dark when Rey awoke to the feel of an unusual presence in their room, and her hand summoned her lightweapon instinctively before she fully opened her eyes.

       “Rey Solo, hmm? Han would be happy.”

       She sat up immediately, although the voice was so quiet she almost missed it. He was in the doorway, leaning against the frame, the blue glow around his form bright in the dark of night. Rey glanced over worriedly, but Ben was fast asleep with his back turned, so she slipped out from under the blankets carefully, wrapping herself in his cloak like a blanket,and followed the ghost out into the open-air balcony.

       “Master Skywalker… I…” she looked back into the room, trying to think of what to say, embarrassed and angry at the same time. Luke waved away her stuttered attempt to explain, so she just shrugged and tugged the cloak around her more tightly. “I'm not apologizing.”

        “You don't need to. I'm the one who should apologize.” He watched her quietly, his eyes measuring, but not hostile. “I'm sorry, Rey. But I'm also grateful.”

        “Grateful? For what?”

        “You.” He sighed. “Rey, you did something I never thought possible, and you did it just by being yourself. I knew I would never get through to him, his own father couldn't even get through to him. But you-”

         “You never even tried,” she hissed, stepping out further towards him. She had told Obi-wan she wasn't resentful, but after hearing Ben's story, seeing everything through his eyes… She could not hold in her disgust. “Did you look for him, after he left? Did you ever go after Snoke, or the First Order, to fight for him? Did  _ Leia _ ?”

          She could read the answer in his downcast gaze, and she let her breath out forcefully. She hadn't even known him long, most of their interactions had begun hostile, and she had seen the light in him without even knowing where to look. When she was scared, and lonely and lost on Ahch-To, she had reached out and he had listened. Offered himself to her, sensing her need and responding with an empathy that still shocked her. Rey's eyes gazed away, out over the railing into a dark forest of nocturnal sounds, unable to even look at Luke.

         “You're right,” Luke admitted eventually. “But my students… He murdered them needlessly. I couldn't reconcile it. I couldn't imagine there was anything left of my nephew to save.”

         “No, of course not. It's perfectly understandable.” She spoke softly, but her voice was icy. “A lonely, conflicted teenager who turned to the dark after his entire family betrayed his trust? You pushed him into Snoke’s trap! What other choice did he have?”

        “I warned him about Snoke! About the dangers of the dark side! You think I don't know what it's like to be conflicted? When I was nineteen, I faced Darth Vader! And I found out he was my  _ father. _ ” He was yelling now, facing her cold glare with anguished grey eyes.

        “And it  _ terrified  _ you! When Ben turned, all any of you thought about was Vader! You made assumptions instead of looking for the truth! I saw it in Han, and Leia, and you. You expected him to fall, and you assumed there was nothing you could do about it!” She was close to him now, yelling in his face, intent on making him accept his responsibility. 

        “When Leia sent him to me, the darkness in him was already there. I tried, but-”

        “No. You gave up on him before then. Admit it.” She lowered her voice, suddenly remembering that it was the middle of the night, and Ben was a light sleeper. Softly, after she waited for a reply from Luke that didn't come, she spoke again. “Leia sending him away was a last resort. She had more faith in you than you deserved.”

        The ghost’s eyes moved, and she turned slowly, hot tears threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes. She had a feeling he had been standing there for a while, but he didn't seem angry, or unhappy. Just watchful. When their eyes met, her tears began to fall in earnest, and he came over to brush them away, cupping her face in his hands. His eyes were dark pools, but his expression was soft with affection.

        “While I love hearing you champion me, I think my uncle has suffered enough. I'd like to speak to him alone, please.”

       She nodded, and he kissed her gently before stepping past her to confront Luke. Rey wandered around inside, emotionally exhausted, but too worked up to go back to bed. She didn't want to pry into their conversation, so she gathered up clean clothes and a hair brush and went to shower away her tears.

       She had to walk under their balcony to get to the bath area, and she couldn't help but overhear a snippet of their discussion. Luke murmured something about letting his family down, and Ben responded.

       “I can't give you the forgiveness you want, and we both know you'll never forgive me.Let's just leave the past where it belongs.”

 

 

      “Commander? We're receiving a signal for you, but…”

       Phasma turned away from surveying the main hangar of  _ her _ Star Destroyer to address the young woman waiting behind her.

       “Put it through.”

       “It's from Hux, ma’am.”

       She paused. Perhaps it was unwise, but she couldn't help but be mildly curious. He'd spent two months circling that worthless desert with no change in status or circumstances. He must be quite mad with frustration by now, and that meant he would be desperate. Desperate people could be useful. She doubted Hux would be, he didn't have the creativity, but it might be interesting to hear him out.

       “Put him through to my private quarters.”

       She took her time getting there, strolling at ease through the polished, clean halls of the  _ Absolution _ . The signal was still blue when she got there, so apparently he was desperate enough to wait.

         “Go ahead,  _ General. _ This is my private line.”

         “Good.” He cleared his throat, another sign of the nervous and desperate. “I presume you still maintain that your ultimate loyalty lies with the First Order.”

         “Correct.”

         “Well, then. You must have noticed how distracted and unfit for command Kylo Ren is. If our reports are any indication, he spends most of his time training his little Jedi children or preoccupied with his whore.”

         She knew it shouldn't matter, but the way he insisted on referring to the woman in the most derogatory terms possible was starting to irritate her. She worked well with Sloane, and had the respect of most of the Stormtroopers. Phasma had never seen Rey fight in person, but her own sources reported she held her own against Kylo Ren. She rolled her eyes at the blue hologram and gestured for him to continue.

          “Your information is correct, which anyone could confirm. But I presume you did not take the risk of contacting me just to whine about Kylo Ren's girlfriend.”

          “I AM NOT-” He stopped himself. “I have a proposal. It seems the Supreme Leader is having a meeting with General Dameron on Kashyyyk. It's come to my attention that the galaxy would profit tremendously if both leaders were to disappear. Of course, I do not have the resources to support such an operation, however… It seems there are certain organizations in the galaxy willing to  _ pay us _ in exchange for their hides. Alive, preferably.”

           “How very interesting.” She had no intention of working with him, of course, but if his information was correct, it could well be worth her while. A plan was forming slowly in the back of her mind, hatched by her recent dabbling in stealth and spycraft. 

           “Do go on, Grand Marshall.” It was so easy to manipulate the little weasel, no wonder Snoke had thought him so useful. A few words here and there, a mild stroke to his pretentious ego… Men were so ridiculously simple-minded. The first thing she had done upon taking command was to move around the officers on board and ensure that the more sensitive operations were handled by women. 

           One day, she hoped, Ren and Hux would be a distant memory, and she could reform the First Order to her liking, with Commander Sloane on the  _ Finalizer _ and an army of her specially-trained Storm Troopers.

            As usual, Hux’s plan was vague on the details, but in this case it suited her purposes well. After she ended the communication, she summoned her surviving operative from the Jakku mission. She had allowed him to continue using the name she gave him, knowing it would engender loyalty, and also probably serve as an example to his fellows. She had no intention of giving out anymore names, but they didn't need to know that.

           “Enter,” she called in response to the respectful knock. Kit stepped into her office and saluted smartly. “I have a special mission for you. One that requires the same subtlety you utilized so well on Jakku.”

            She explained, in more detail than Hux, with specific instructions. The Storm Trooper nodded as he listened.

            “I'm giving you leave to select one other operative of your choice. You will take a TIE down to Kashyyyk and return in the Supreme Leader's shuttle. Is everything clear?”

            “Yes, ma'am. With your permission, I will take TS-4115.”

            She frowned. That was not one of her special group. Quickly, she typed the call number into her datapad. TS had sparred against Kylo Ren on numerous occasions. Phasma smiled.

            “Ah, I see. Excellent choice.”

            “Thank you.”


	9. Actual Leadership? Where Did That Come From?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a sudden, unexpected trauma to force everyone to work together.
> 
> Guys, I love Finn, he's not a bad guy, I promise. He just needs a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just noticed Ben Solo gets stunned a lot. Not sure why I feel the need to have him incapacitated and unconscious so often. He's just so damned arrogant, I guess I feel like he needs a kick to the ego every now and then.

       This was their second day of trying to form an alliance between Ben’s First Order and the Rebels, and the best Rey could say about it was that it had gone better than yesterday. Finn and Poe were seated at one end of the long table, while she and Sloane and Ben sat further down, giving them plenty of space between them. Ben sprawled in his chair, his head propped up with one hand while he listened to Poe speak with unconcealed boredom.

_ What is your problem? _

_           Are you kidding? This man is an idiot. His entire strategy consists of bluffing or rushing in headlong with weapons blazing. _

          Rey sighed, a little too loudly. Finn caught her with his eyebrows raised and she rolled her eyes at Poe. Surprisingly, he nodded in agreement. It was the first time since they'd gone their separate ways that she actually felt something like their old friendship.

          “Amazing,” Commander Sloane addressed Poe, her voice unusually irritable. “It's as if you didn't hear a single word Wexley said. The planet is programmed to explode. Emperor Palpatine was a thorough man. I'd bet real money that it's just as functional now as it was thirty years ago. I'm not risking my people just for the  _ chance _ of eliminating Hux. Frankly, General, I'm shocked that you're even considering it.”

        “And I'm concerned that you aren't! You guys know how dangerous that son of a bitch is! You want to just let him get away?”

       “I don't like it,” Sloane admitted. “But I'd rather wait for a clean shot.”

       “We might never  _ get _ a clean shot, Commander! He's just sitting there, plotting, gathering resources to rebuild his fleet-”

       “No he's not,” Ben said quietly. “He has no money, and no one willing to lend it to him. I only managed to get support from planetary governments because I'm using my real name and because of Rey's reputation as a Jedi, and because some of them have conscripted unaligned Star Destroyers.”

       Poe’s reaction was predictable. He glanced at Rey and Finn, then glared at Ben with disgust.

      “What governments?”

      Finn put his hand on the Resistance leader's arm to hold him back.

      “Stop it. What are you going to do? Go after them? Poe, there's a massive power vacuum in the galaxy. They're just putting their chips on the speeder they think has the best chances. Think about it. Remember who he is?”

       Poe Dameron yanked his arm away from Finn's hand and shook his head, staring at his friend as if he'd suddenly grown horns. Rey opened her mouth to try and reason with him, but she never got to finish. 

      The room shook as the wroshyrs shuddered under the deafening clap of a sonic boom, and Wookies rushed around outside, yelling and warbling in their own language. Everyone at the table had jumped to their feet with the first sound, but it was the second, fiery explosion sounding far too close that had them running outside as well. 

      Rey caught sight of Shekebba, Genji's mother, running towards a fire with her satchels and bags of healing supplies, and rushed over without thinking, offering her help. The Wookie nodded gratefully, and Rey followed her into the vines, swinging after her and using the Force as a guide.

_ The trajectory looks to have gone down to the east.  _

      She focused on what she could see beneath her, the broken trees and shattered buildings and fire everywhere, trying to pass on the images.

_ I'm going. We're following the trail.  _

_       We? _

_       Surprisingly, the Resistance leaders, while terrible at strategy, are remarkably brave when put to the test. I think Chewie and Commander Sloane took Finn's girlfriend and some of the elders onto the Falcon, just in case. _

__ She had to concentrate to keep up with Shekebba, so she couldn't think at him clearly, but she tried to project warmth and affection.

_ You stay safe too. _

 

__ Finn was right, the crashed spacecraft was a TIE. The markings indicated that it belonged to the  _ Absolution.  _ He circled around to one side with his blaster out, while Poe took to his left. It was hard to see through the smoke, but the small fighter didn't appear to have taken much damage. There was a sudden  _ zing _ and dual bars of light appeared on the opposite side as Kylo… _ Ben Solo _ took on the gunner position by himself. 

      Poe edged in first and nudged the pilot's hatch with his foot, causing the door to break loose and fly open. There was no movement inside, although Finn could see the Storm Trooper inside, unmoving. With his blaster held steady, he jerked his head for Poe to check the man inside. The general put two fingers between the helmet and the neck, checking for a pulse.

     “He's alive, just knocked out.”

     They didn't have time for anything else as a stunner bolt rang out from the other side, and the famously battle-trained Supreme Leader dropped to the ground without a fight. As one, Finn and Poe stepped around to trap the gunner, but the man was too quick. He caught Poe with a stun bolt just before Finn fired twice, hitting his leg at the vulnerable knee joint and blasting his weapon out of his hand.

     “Hey, man, you don't have to do this,” he tried to reason, but the soldier rolled onto his side and grabbed Poe's blaster. Finn didn't want to kill him, but he knew every second mattered. He fired just as the injured Trooper did, aiming for his blaster. The shot went wide, spraying in the sand while he felt a searing pain in his arm, but before either of them could fire again, another shot pierced the enemy's armor from point-blank range and he slumped over, dead.

     Finn looked up, expecting Poe or one of the Wookies, but instead he found the pilot had regained consciousness. But why shoot his comrade? He leveled his weapon at the second enemy, but didn't fire.

     “Don't shoot!” Came the startling plea. Finn watched as the man removed his mask, and found himself stuttering. 

      He was looking at a carbon copy of himself, right down to the wide, disbelieving eyes. His look-a-like dropped the blaster he was holding and offered his hand.

     “It's Finn, right? FN-2187?”

     “Yeah, it's Finn. But how is this possible? I thought they didn't have clones anymore.”

     “You're right. But they do have twins.”

     “You're kidding me!” He was circling the man now, trying to take it in. “How did I not know about you?”

      “I didn't know until you defected. Hux ordered our whole unit interrogated. I heard him talking to Phasma. They were going to put me down, in case I turned on them too.”

      “I had no idea… I'm sorry.”

      “Well, I'm not. It's funny, if I hadn't heard them discussing my death so casually, I probably would still be Phasma's loyal dog. But I felt something else that day. Pride.” Finn had come in close enough that his twin grabbed his hand and shook it. “I'm proud of you, Finn.”

        “Yeah, same here. A brother,” he mused. “What are you doing here though?”

        “I’ll explain as soon as your companions wake up. Thankfully, I locked TS’s blaster to stun.”

        “TS,” Finn glanced down at the dead trooper. “What's your… designation?”  

        “KT-2184. But you can call me Kit.”

        Finn noticed Ben moving behind them, and stepped forward to shield Kit in case he woke up in a rage, but he didn't. He sat up, gathering his lightsabers, and stood slowly, his eyes taking in Finn and the unmasked Kit. 

        “Well, isn't this interesting.”

        Kit saluted respectfully, moving to replace his helmet, but the Supreme Leader raised a hand to stop him.

        “No, don't worry about formalities.” 

         His gaze focused on something behind them, and Finn turned to help Poe to his feet, grinning. The general rubbed his head, his eyes still slightly unfocused.

        “Just what we need, another Finn.” His smile indicated there was no malice to his words, and he walked over immediately, offering his hand. “So what do we call you? Finn Number Two?”

        “Nope. I'm Kit. KT-2184.” He shook Poe's hand enthusiastically. “Pleasure to meet you, General Dameron.”

        “Yeah, you too. You wanna tell us what’s going on, Kit, buddy?”

        They sat around a hastily built fire in the growing dark, while Kit detailed Phasma's bold ploy.

        “I was supposed to slip in and take Finn's place, then lure you both onto the ship. As soon as we had you on board, we would send a message to Hux. She figures she can lure him in, then kill him and sell you both to the highest bidder on some place like Tatooine or Ord Mantell. Get rid of all the opposition at once."

        “That’s insane,” Finn said immediately. He looked at Ben and back to Kit. “Why would anyone risk capturing him alive?”

“Thanks,” the dark-haired man murmured sarcastically. Finn rolled his eyes.

“That’s actually a compliment,” Poe interjected. “He’s praising your fighting skills.”

“I know,” the Supreme Leader replied, glancing over at him. “Why would anyone want you? Alive or dead?”

“Ehhh… Jaded lover, probably?”

 All three stared at him. Poe swallowed.

      “So, funny story, I may have met Armitage Hux in a bar once…”

      “You've got to be fucking kidding me…” Ben shook his head, while Kit just raised an eyebrow.

       Finn gave his friend a wild look. He simply could not fathom any situation in which anyone would willing spend a night with that slimy bastard… Especially someone like Poe. He didn't even realize Poe was… that kind of person.

“I think they just want to destabilize the powers that be. Force-users always fetch a good price on the market. Who wouldn’t pay hard cash for the great and terrible Kylo Ren in a slave collar?” Kit explained into the silence. “And questionable one-night stands aside, General Dameron has quite a few enemies who would be happy to watch him executed publicly.”

“Executed?” Poe yelped in surprise. “For what?”

“Some of the New Republic worlds consider the Resistance to be an unauthorized terrorist cell. Especially now that Leia Organa is gone,” Ben explained quietly. 

      His voice was calm and he still that strange quality Rey had passed on to him, an authenticity that he wore awkwardly. Finn still couldn’t think of him as  _ Ben Solo _ , Leia and Han’s child, but he was starting to see the man behind the monster.

“What worlds?” Poe snapped.

“Corelia. Naboo. Onderon-”

“Oh, fuck Onderon. That place has always been more trouble than it’s worth. Everybody’s a politician or a freedom fighter. And they’re calling me a terrorist?” He shook his head. 

      Finn noticed Kit watching the Resistance leader closely. He was watching them all, really, having made the decision to desert and follow up on it, he was unsure of his next steps, a feeling Finn was all too familiar with.

“That is… quite the irony,” Ben snickered, causing them all to turn to him.

“Are you  _ laughing?” _ Finn asked, incredulously.

“No, he’s cackling,” Poe corrected. “It’s the same as laughing, but only if you’re a black-hearted villain.”

Finn smirked, and found the Supreme Leader smirking back, completely unoffended at Poe’s attempted insult.

“You sound like Rey,” he observed. “Cackling. She would love it.”

There was, abruptly, a frozen moment where Finn looked at him and he looked back, and Finn could see the softness in his eyes when he talked about Rey. He nodded, and the other man nodded back, some unspoken camaraderie passing between them.

“Does she make fun of you a lot? Ben?”

“She’s ruthless.”

Finn couldn’t help but grin.

“Oh yeah, she is.”

“Well, I’m glad you guys are bonding,” Poe interjected abruptly, “But we’ve got some bigger fish to fry.”

“Indeed,” Ben said, his eyes moving between Finn and Kit. “I would like to propose an idea, unless one of you has something else to add?”

All three shook their heads, and Ben nodded, continuing to detail his plan. They leaned in closely to hear him, occasionally posing a question or idea of their own. Finally, Finn sat back and shook his head.

“The girls are not going to like it.”

“I know.”

“I don’t like it, either,” Kit put in.

“Sorry, man, but you don’t get a say,” Poe explained. “We appreciate your help and your allegiance, but we just can’t take any chances and we don’t know you well enough to trust you yet. That’s just how it goes.”

“It’s just as dangerous for you,” Ben added. “If anything goes wrong, Rey will be furious.”

“Rose isn’t harmless either,” Finn added. “She keeps an electro-prod on her belt set  _ way _ higher than necessary. When we met, she was lurking around the escape pods, stunning people for trying to desert.”

“I’ve seen that thing. Have you seen Rey’s lightsaber yet?” He went on after Finn and Poe shook their heads. “It’s really an incredible work of art. It has three settings. One is double-bladed.”

“Rose saved me from the cannon on Crait by crashing her speeder into mine.” Finn paused. “Double-bladed. Like a staff with lasers?”

“Yes. Rey fought the Mandalorian ruler with my lightsaber and came to a draw.”

“So she did fight Sabine!” Poe exclaimed, leaning forward with curiosity. “She fought with that crazy sword of yours? With the stupid crossguards?”

“Yes.” Ben’s eyes rolled at the disparaging commentary about his lightsaber.

“Those crossguards are wicked,” Finn inserted. “I’ve got a couple scars from them. It looks way less stupid when it’s scalding your shoulder.”

“Let’s not forget about the Wookies.”

“Oh, right, of course. Obviously angry Wookies aren’t fun, either.”

Kit stared at them, his face growing white.

“That’s… terrifying.” His eyes caught Finn’s. “Rose is your girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Can’t have a girlfriend when you’re working for the First Order.” He winked at his twin’s sudden look of surprise. “It’s pretty great, by the way.”

For some reason, Kit glanced down, and Poe chimed in.

“Hey, you’re not the only lonely single guy here.”

His brother looked up, but wouldn’t quite meet Poe’s gaze, mumbling quietly in response.

“That’s nice, I guess.”

 

They had decided to wait until morning to hike back to the village, after Ben checked with Rey to make sure everything was alright. The strength of the Force bond was astonishingly powerful, even at a distance, and he wondered just how far it would stretch. Could he reach her still, if they went ahead with their plans? 

     Ben fell asleep listening to her talk about the various herbs and medicines the Wookies used, contemplating some of the techniques from the ancient texts she wanted to try. 

He wasn’t sure what woke him, but he noticed immediately that Finn’s twin and Dameron were gone. A quick glance around showed the two men walking down at the shore line, talking quietly so as not to wake the others. He narrowed his eyes. Did Poe just take the other man’s hand? Hmm. Well, it wasn’t any of his business. 

Ben started to turn over, when he heard Finn give a sudden hiss. He glanced over, meeting the man’s narrowed gaze. He nodded toward the shore furiously. Ben shrugged.

“Did you see that?”

“See what?”

“They… they’re… that’s disgusting!”

    Ben  frowned. He really expected better of Rey’s friend. A normal person would be hopeful, or at least nonjudgmental.

“It’s none of our business. Go back to sleep.”

He closed his eyes, his body tensing as Finn hissed at him again. Sighing, Ben rolled over on his back, watching the stars and trying to relax. It would not be helpful to anyone for him to Force-choke the man, he was Rey’s friend and Ben thought he was actually fairly competent and quick-witted. It was surprising to find him so confoundingly closed-minded.

“It is my business! That's my brother! That is not normal. It’s supposed to be… with women. You know! Otherwise what’s the point?”

Ben closed his eyes.

_ Rey? REY! _

__ _ Mmm...huh? _

    He could feel her intense concentration, and a vision of a ball of water moving through the air under her Force control flashed before his closed eyes. He instantly regretted bothering her. But this was completely out of his league.

_ Your friend… Finn. _

__ _ Why are you angry with Finn? _

__ He showed her the scene, the conversation, the other man’s clear look of repulsion. She was quiet, he could feel her grasping, trying to come up with something to say. He could tell she was shocked, and frustrated.

_ I can’t believe he reacted like that. That’s ridiculous!  _ Her outrage echoed his through the bond.  _ Poe has been alone, watching him and Rose and now you and I cavort happily… I’m glad he might have someone to be with. They just held hands, kriff, Finn! _

__ _ What do I say to him? _

__ _ I wish I was there so I could slap some sense into him. I don’t know what to say. But, tell him I think he’s being an idiot and he needs to get over it. _

__ _ I will. By the way… the water… I didn't know that was possible. _

_     But you didn't know it was impossible. I taught Genji, too. _

_     I'm impressed. _

“Rey thinks you’re an idiot and you need to get over it. For the record, I agree.” He pulled the hood of his cloak up to cover his face and turned his back to Finn and the shore. The other man made a scoffing noise. 

   “Goodnight, Finn,” Ben said firmly.

“Are you seriously just gonna-”

Ben’s hand twitched. A log cracked loudly in the dying fire, spitting embers.

“Are you threatening me, Solo?”

“Yes, I am.”

Thankfully, that shut him up, and Ben caught up on a few hours of sleep.


	10. Annnd Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody's getting angsty here.
> 
> Finn gets a chill punch.
> 
> Ghost Ahsoka imparts some wisdom.
> 
> Rey is falling slowly into the gray now that she has all these emotional attachments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Prequel references and Order 66 sadness :(

        Of course, he woke up to the sounds of shouting. _Why am I not surprised?_ He was grumpy from lack of sleep, anxious over their risky plans, and he could only tolerate so much idiocy. Kylo Ren might be dead, but his spectre still loomed, and Ben Solo was far from a scion of the light.

        He growled, leaping to his feet, and ignited his red saber, silencing the two men arguing. Both Finn and Poe stared warily at the crackling red blade, backing away slightly. He didn’t see Kit, and he hoped Finn hadn’t chased him away completely.

        “Let it go!” He shouted. “Sometimes people have different tastes. I’m sorry this comes as a shock to you, but we really don’t have the time.”

         Poe Dameron was giving him the oddest look. Was there… relief in his eyes? Something besides his usual barely restrained hatred, anyway. Finn cursed and kicked at the ashes of the fire pit. Ben ignored him and turned to Poe.

         “Where’s Kit?”

        “Oh he, uhh… I think he just went down the shore.”

        Ben glanced over, but couldn’t see past where the edge of wroshyr forest jutted out into the ocean. He powered down his blade and started walking.

       “What are you doing?” Dameron yelled after him.

       “Making sure he knows he can return to the First Order if he wants, since his brother has been so unwelcoming.”

        Ben Solo couldn’t care less what anyone’s romantic preferences were. He just wanted loyal officers who would do their job competently, and once Phasma was out of the picture, he would need to make some drastic changes. Having people around he could trust would make his job a lot easier.

        He found the Stormtrooper having discarded his boots and most of his armor, standing just within the lapping waves of the ocean. Kit turned towards him and smiled slightly.

       “Just had to remind myself of some of the other benefits of freedom,” he explained. Ben nodded, watching the soothing ebb and flow of the water silently for a moment.

       “I’ve been thinking of making some changes. Adding some upward mobility. Working towards a volunteer force. Names.” He found the defector studying him with curiosity and shrugged. “I’d prefer to engender real loyalty instead of authoritarian fear.”

       “It is true, then. We heard about your - ah - the woman.”

       “Rey.”

       “Right, yeah. The Troopers on the _Finalizer_ like her a lot. They said you left her in charge of everything for a few days, and when you came back you were… nicer.”

       He laughed. Nicer. As if he’d ever been _nice_ to anyone to begin with. He caught Kit’s raised eyebrows and gave a little shake of his head.

      “You could say that, I guess.” He met the man’s eyes clearly. “I just came to tell you… If you’re not comfortable in the Resistance, after all of this… I could use more officers I can trust.”

      “Officers?”

      “Yes. Didn’t I say something about upward mobility?”

      “For the Stormtroopers?”

      “That is what I meant, yes.”

       He was not expecting to hear the man’s howl of delight. He stepped back slightly, surprised at the sudden emotional response. Kit looked at him with excited eyes.

      “This changes _everything_! Yes, go fucking fuck yourself, Phasma, you heartless space trash!” He kicked at the waves a few times, and made some obscene gestures towards the sky, shouting out more abuse for Phasma, Hux, other officers, even Snoke.

      He stopped short of cursing Kylo Ren, but only barely. Ben raised his eyebrows when Kit finally turned back to him, grinning, looking very much like his twin.

     “Don't mind me. Get it out of your system.”

     “I think I'm good now.”

     “You’ll stay, then. With the First Order?”

     “Oh, yeah. I think most of us will stay.” He looked down at his bare feet in the surf. “We… ah… we’d like some… personal days. A couple times a year, maybe?”

      “I’m sure that can be arranged,” Ben murmured quietly. Had he just entered negotiations about the continued service of the Stormtroopers? His eyes narrowed at Kit. “You didn’t just come to help us against Phasma. You’ve been planning this a while, waiting for the right opportunity.”

      “Bingo, sir!”

      Ben rolled his eyes.

      “Once we get everything in place, we’ll discuss details. I think Commander Sloane will be amenable. But first, you should go punch your brother in the face.”

      Kit stared at him, with the same wild, dubious expression his brother was fond of making. Ben merely gazed back at him, folding his arms over his chest.

      “You’re serious?”

      “Yes. Someone needs to and I don’t think Dameron is up to the task. We all know what would happen if I did.”

      “Oh. Yeah, well, I’ll just… I’ll be right there.”

 

       Rey had not been surprised to find Kirin at the worst crash site, her forehead beaded with sweat as she lifted massive pieces of wood from the worst of the victims. They had shared a glance or two while working, but the wroshyr was incredibly heavy, and there were always more victims, more people needing the help of the Force to free them from wreckage, rescue children from burning houses, dowse flames with gusts of water. She had never moved water with the Force before, and it required a different kind of concentration. She spent several hours with Genji’s help, slowly teaching the young Wookie the technique, until she was dragged away by Shekebba. The healer ignored her protests completely, carrying her back to the guest house she was sharing with Ben and placing her in bed.

        " _No one works more than one day,”_ Genji's mother insisted. _“You have been helping since yesterday afternoon. It is after that time now. You will eat food and rest. Set an example for your students, yes?”_

         She realized Kirin had still been working when Shekebba came to carry her off, and understanding dawned on her groggy brain.

         “Kebba, can you bring Kirin here please?”

         Rey knew the girl would probably collapse of exhaustion if she didn't keep a close eye on her, and she wanted to make sure she ate, too. She was startled when Genji came to the door instead of his mother, a completely unconscious Kirin folded up like a doll in his huge arms.

         “Oh, Kirin! I was afraid she would pass out,” she gestured for Genji to lay her in the bed. Rey would sleep on the couch, anything soft was enough luxury for her, though she was beginning to get accustomed beds.

         “ _She would not come, so I made her sleep,”_ the Wookie admitted glancing worriedly at her as he settled her on Rey's side of the bed.

        “You _made_ her sleep? Did Ben teach you that?”

         He hung his head at her tone, and she realized there was no reason to be short with him. In this case it was justified, she might have done it herself if her first encounter with Kylo Ren hadn't left her with an instinctive distaste for those kinds of powers. Rey patted his arm.

        “Nevermind, Genji. You were both brilliant today. I'm very proud of you. Ben will be, too.”

        He gave a soft growl of affection and she smiled.

        “I'll take care of Kirin. You get some rest, too.”

        She found some packets of dried meat and fruit and ate, leaving some out on the table by the bed for Kirin. Then she made a pot of Shekebba’s bright-thorn tea, sprinkling in some of the crystallized amber substance that passed for sugar on Kashyyyk, and curled up on the small couch in the corner of the bedroom. She had intended to rest, but something she had read in one of the old Jedi books kept intruding into her mind, a description of someone using the Force to heal wounds. She had to find it and reread it again or her brain would never let her rest.

          _Yes… there… Bastila… battle meditation, empathy… also skilled at knitting together bone and flesh…_

 

         She knew she was dreaming, so she was surprised to find Kirin there. They were in the middle of a fantastic city, high buildings and structures rising as far to the horizon as she could see, and stretching down far below the street they stood on. There were so many people, so many things to see, they were both overwhelmed.

         “Where are we?” Kirin asked. Rey shook her head.

         “I don't know. This is a dream, but this city is real.” She reached a hand out, watching as a passerby on the street marched right through it. “I feel like I've been here before..”

          “I know it's impossible, but I feel that way too.”

          She reached out at a rose-skinned Twi’lek, who glided through her arm.

          “This is Coruscant,” a familiar voice spoke from behind them. Rey turned around excitedly, gasping at the vision of a young Ahsoka, tall and proud in slim-fitting clothing under a Jedi cloak.

          “You're so young!”

          Rey immediately clapped her hands over her mouth. Ahsoka smiled, moving towards them.

          “That's the beauty of being a ghost in a dream. You can look however you want.”

          She looked over at Kirin, who was watching their exchange with an expression of wonder in her amethyst eyes.

         “It's Kirin, right?”

         She gulped visibly and nodded.

         “Don't worry, I won't bite.”

         “But… Master Solo said you were always fighting him, in his dreams.” She looked to Rey for support, but she let Ahsoka explain.

          “You are not Master Solo. Combat is his forte. We can't all be that lucky.” She winked at Rey, and she blushed, hoping Kirin didn't catch it. “Come on, there's something I want to show you, and we don't have a lot of time.”

          She led them down the wide street, to a massive, ziggurat-type structure, tall and looming, punctuated with higher towers and small spires. A massive set of steps led up into the building at the end of the street. Rey noticed Kirin stop suddenly, and she turned as the girl's hands flew to her mouth, an expression of horror on her face.

         Ahsoka turned too, reaching out to grab the girl's arm.

        “Hey, hey, stay with me, Kirin. Look at me. Look!” She held the girl's face in her hands, keeping her eyes locked on Kirin’s.

        “But… So many deaths! And the children, too? Why? Why would anyone kill children? And then they… they corrupted it with the dark side…”

         Her eyes fixed on Ahsoka, but a steady stream of tears poured down her face. Ahsoka herself took on a haunted look, her shoulders slumped inward.

         “I know.” She sighed. “I know.”

         Kirin’s sorrowful eyes widened.

         “You think you could have stopped him, but you weren't there.”

         “I ran away.” The Togruta sighed, and Kirin lifted a hand and put it over Ahsoka's, shaking her head.

         “No. It's not your fault,” she insisted firmly. “Master Solo told me how the old Emperor manipulated Darth Vader. If you were here, they would have just killed you. Or made him kill you.”

         The former Jedi looked at Rey’s apprentice with surprise, letting her hands fall away to her sides.

        “Thank you, Kirin. It's good to hear someone say it.”

        She glanced at Rey, who stood quietly watching them, wise enough to know when to stand back and let her student learn a lesson she couldn't teach. She gave a small nod, and Ahsoka held out her hand to Kirin.

        “Are you ready to go in now? We just have to think about it. I know the way.”

        “I'm ready,” the girl said firmly.

        Rey took the hand offered to her and closed her eyes, letting the ghost lead the way. Somehow, she knew when to look again, and this place, too, was familiar, in the same way that Ahch-To had felt familiar.

       It was a library. Filled with softly-glowing holocrons similar to the scorched black thing Ben had been unable to unlock, but blue and undeniably alive. Or at least filled with the Force. She peered around in wonderment, while Kirin poked her head down each of the long, neatly organized aisles. Ahsoka laughed.

        “You guys are much more enthusiastic about this than I was when I got stuck here. Master Jocasta, the archivist, was not a friendly lady.” She paused, shadows crossing her face, the dark emotion quickly drawing Kirin's attention. “She may not have been my favorite person, but she met an end she did not deserve.”

         “They tortured her,” Kirin whispered.

         “Yes. Jocasta, Shaak-Ti, Luminara… the Emperor was cruelest to those who survived. Most of the Jedi died from friendly fire or fighting for their lives.”

         “Why are we here?” Rey asked quickly, to derail anymore of Ahsoka’s morbid musings. She liked the woman, truly, but it was trying for Kirin and they'd already had a long day. The dream-ghost shook herself, going to a table where one of the holocrons lay on its side, dead and unlit.

          “You were looking for Force healing. The Sith holocron can be learned from, but you have to use caution. The ways of healing from the dark side are not for the weak of heart. It takes two,” she instructed. “One to hold it up, and one to channel the Force into it.”

          She raised it with her own power, then gestured to Kirin to take over while she demonstrated the second half of the procedure. Rey did not miss the way she had to lower her mental shields to do it. They practiced a few dozen times, switching off sides, until Ahsoka was satisfied with their understanding. Just as she felt herself waking up, Rey heard the ghost's voice in her head, and knew it was directed for her ears only.

          _The Force bond is the most powerful tool you have. You just have to know when to use it._

 

          Rey started awake with a gasp, and latched onto the warm hand gently brushing against her face like a lifeline. Ben leaned in to kiss her cheek as she hugged his arm against her, rubbing dust from her eyes. She felt like she had been crying, and for a moment she couldn’t remember why.

          “Oh, Kirin!”

          “I didn’t want to wake you, but I don’t have anywhere to sleep,” Ben whispered.

          Rey woke up instantly as she recalled the dream. She climbed to her feet and went to check on Kirin, seeing the girl still sleeping, lines of old tears streaking her face. She sighed in relief to see that she seemed to be resting comfortably now, with no fresh tears spilling from her closed eyes. Ben looked over with concern from where he stood by the couch.

          Rey sat back down and tugged on her boots, carefully closing the Jedi tome she had fallen asleep reading and placing it back with her belongings. He watched her quietly, a thousand questions in his eyes. She took his arm and tugged him outside.

         “We need to talk.”

         “I have some news for you, too.”

         His expression was open and warm and it surprised her. Rey had assumed that a day and a night in the company of Finn and Poe would leave him edgy and irritable. Instead he seemed almost… relaxed, somehow.

         Rey sat balancing on the wooden railing, and he slipped his arm around her waist, eyeing the long drop below. Their eyes met and she smiled, but didn’t comment, allowing him the comfort he gained from ensuring her safety himself.

         “So, do you want to-”

         “No. You go first. You already know about Finn’s brother, that’s the big news.” She had a feeling he was keeping something back, waiting to gage her mood from their continued conversation, but she went on anyway, because it was important.

        “I had a vision. Well, Kirin and I had a vision. Of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Ahsoka showed us how to open the holocron, but…”

        “Ahsoka? Hmm.”

        “What? I thought you two left on good terms before she died.” Her gaze held him and he shrugged, rubbing her bare shoulder absently with his hand.

         “That’s true. But she left the Jedi. Why would she take you to the Temple? It’s all ruins now, anyway, after all the war. And before that, the Emperor took it over as his palace.”

         “I think it was the Coruscant of her memory. The Temple was still intact, or at least the library was. I’ve never seen anything like it, Coruscant or the library, and I don’t think Kirin has either.” She paused, trying to collect her thoughts. “I don’t even know how to describe it. I mean, the library was full of row after row of holocrons, and the city outside was incredible. Have you ever been there?”

         “To Coruscant? Of course. It was the capital of the Empire. It was the first place I contacted when I was trying to solidify our planetary territories, after Hux left.” He tilted his head, looking down to meet her gaze. “We can go there if you want. Maybe we should go there. Soon.”

          She could see thoughts brewing in his head, and she waited until she had his full attention. He was definitely growing accustomed to being himself again. Not just more confident and relaxed, but thoughtful, too. She thought of the scattering of Republic worlds that had offered him funding and backing to rebuild their fleet, and for a moment she was reminded of his mother so strongly her insides twisted with grief.

          He was searching her face immediately, sensing the sudden surge of emotion.

          “I’m sorry, I should have been listening to you.”

          “No, it’s alright, I was just thinking of how proud your mother would be, if she could see you now.”

          Ben's warm arms came up and held her tightly against him and she closed her eyes and sighed as he kissed the top of her head. They were both still for a while, leaning on each other, giving and receiving support without needing words.

          “Ahsoka told me the Force bond was our most powerful tool, but… One of us has to open it, while the other watches. I don’t know. Part of me is worried that you - that you’ll go back to how you were. But, I’m not sure I should do it either.”

         “Why not?”

          She took a deep breath. She couldn’t blame him, she really couldn’t, but she had to be careful not to make him feel like she was laying it at his feet.

         “Ben. Look at me. Really look. With the Force.”

         It wasn’t him. She had felt it building before, on Ahch-To when she confronted Luke. When Kylo Ren had invaded her mind, she fought back with anger. But anger was something she knew. She had mastered it a long time ago. It wasn’t fear for her life, either. She had lived for a decade and a half in survival mode, with no guarantee she would still be alive in a week.

         But that day before Snoke, she been filled with an entirely different kind of dread. She felt the feather-light brush of his thoughts over hers, and smiled faintly when he noticed her body’s instinctive response to his presence. Then he was quiet for a while.

         “You can’t do it,” he said finally, his voice low. He pulled her down from her perch so he could wrap both of his arms around her, and she buried her face in his shoulder, sobbing softly. She felt his breath catch in his chest and she laughed at the absurdity of it.

          “No, don’t you cry too. That’s not allowed.”

         “But I did this to you.”

          “No!” She pulled away and took his face in her hands, desperately latching onto his beautiful, sorrow-filled eyes. “Please don’t. Don’t do that. You gave me something I want to protect. I know, _I know_ , you can handle yourself, but there’s no logic to it. I love you. And I’m afraid…”

          “Fear leads to the dark side. I know. But it's a natural emotion, Rey.”

          “It is, I'm just not used to… It's always been just me. And I can look out for myself just fine. But now I have you, and Kirin and Genji and… Rose and Finn are having a baby and…”

         “You can't protect everyone, Rey.”

         “That doesn't stop me from wanting to!”

         “My fierce warrior.” He smiled, reaching to cup her face in his hand. “You’re incredible. Snoke was right, you do have the spirit of a true Jedi.”

          “I have no interest in being a Jedi. For… personal reasons…”

          “I'm well aware of your reasons.”

           He kissed her fiercely, his hands sliding to the thinnest part of her waist, nearly encircling her completely as he claimed her with his lips and tongue. She locked her hands behind his head, fingers threaded through his hair, returning his affection fervently, nipping at his lip and trapping his tongue with hers.

           Neither of them felt or heard the girl come out of the house until she cleared her throat, politely. Possibly for the second time.

           “Um. Ahem.” She averted her eyes while they disentangled themselves, Rey blushing furiously in the afternoon light while Ben produced a cocky smile that belonged to Han Solo, casually looping his arm around her.

           “Can we help you, Kirin?”

            Her vivid eyes rolled emphatically.

           “Yes, Master Solo. First, you can remember that I’m an empath and _you project wildly._ _You,_ Master Solo. Not Master Rey. Two, I can open the holocron. Ahsoka showed us both how, and I’ve got nothing to lose. I assume if I lose my mind, you can just kill me, because as we all know, my empathy makes it almost impossible for me to fight back _._ ”

            She regarded them both with her hands on her hips as if she were glaring down a pair of delinquent children. Rey looked from Ben, to Kirin and back, noticing the quiet, thoughtful look in his eyes.

           “Ben! You can’t possibly-”

           “Your observations are as astute as ever, Kirin. And I agree.”

           “Ben!”

            He turned to her with his cold expression, the one he reserved for interactions with his officers and the times he needed her to publicly act as his apprentice. Kylo Ren's eyes.

           _Please remember who is the true master here. I don’t want to have to remind you in front of the students, or your friends, but I will if I must._

_Ben, please, you can’t, she’s too young-_

_Ahsoka showed you both. I suggest you think about that for a while._

         “I’ve made my decision,” he stated coldly.

         He nodded slightly at Kirin, and the apprentice bowed respectfully. Rey was left glaring at both of them in horror, before he took her arm and half-dragged her into the house, and Kirin walked off in the opposite direction.

        “We have other things to talk about, and we might as well do it now, because you’re not going to like this either.”

        He was right. She didn’t like it very much, but she wasn’t as dead set against it as she was against Kirin opening the holocron. Once they’d been forced to cooperate, Poe and Ben had come up with a surprisingly clever plan.

       “Finn is going to take you both back? By himself?”

      “Who else is going to pretend to be a Stormtrooper? We need you and Sloane here to pull off the deception, and we’re keeping Kit to ensure the goodwill of the troops.”

      “What about someone from our own ship?”

      “How are we going to do that? Have Finn stop over and pick someone up?”

      “Gods no, Finn can’t pilot anyway. Pashi, on the other hand, is an excellent pilot and apparently quite skilled at stealth maneuvers.”

      “How do you know that?”

      She grinned.

      “I can show you.”


	11. Flashy Piloting and Freaky Magic Powers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m really starting to love Kirin and Pashi. 
> 
> Dom Rey is kinda scary.
> 
> Poor Kirin. No one ever taught Ben Solo/Kylo Ren to control his emotions. Force Empathy is really not a fun 'gift'.
> 
> Planetary exile on Cantonica actually seems like a worse punishment than execution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Domination, Force choking, Inappropriate use of the Force, some kinky shit that's not really all that surprising.

          "What the fucking fuck?!” Ben exclaimed later, clinging to a rope vine he did not trust while he and Rey watched the most clever, single-drop landing he’d ever seen. “Is that a TIE Interceptor? How did she get clearance for that?”

          Rey snorted.

         “Clearance? She’s landing a TIE on a treetop platform only slightly wider than it is. I don’t think she worried about _clearance_ . Besides, who’s going to stop her? Sloane is down here with us. Who’s even in charge of the _Finalizer_ right now?”

          He paused in thought.

         “Vice-Commander Albright.” Ben wracked his brain for everything he knew about the man, then groaned. “Snoke nearly strangled him once for a miscalculated jump. He’s been terrified of the Force ever since.”

         “Oh, well, that’s perfect, isn’t it? Should we go spoil their fun then?”

         “How did you know she was going to try this?”

         He watched in stunned silence as the ship hoovered, adjusted in inches at a time, and dropped cleanly in the barely wide enough space. Somehow Kirin stood stock-still, unafraid even though the slightest miscalculation could have sent her falling hundreds of feet into the forest below.

         “Sloane was getting some things from the shuttle and heard them through the comm panel. I don't think Kirin realizes our communicators are all connected.”

          He tried to look over at her, and nearly lost hold of the vine, overcorrecting so far that his foot slipped off the thin branch he was balancing on and he yelped before Rey caught him with the Force. Across from them, Kirin turned in their direction and cursed.

          “Come on!”

           Rey took off for the platform, leaving him to struggle through the vine paths by himself, cursing. How the hell did she do this? It was darker than the Emperor’s balls this high up in the forest at night! He did his best to climb after her, emerging on the railing a solid minute later, panting and pulling leaves out of his hair. She, on the other hand, looked perfectly radiant, slightly flushed from exertion, addressing the two girls with a renewed sense of confidence.

          “- so good work, Pashi, you’ve gotten yourself involved after all.”

          The girl’s dark eyes brightened and she jumped up and made a fist excitedly, her gold tattoos catching and reflecting the dim lighting.

          “Yes! A real mission!”

          Ben came up behind Rey wearing his best intimidating look, and she quieted down quickly, having the grace to look ashamed.

         “I’m sorry, Master Solo. I got bored.”

         “We know.”

         “Would you like to be not bored?” Rey followed up.

         “Absolutely!”

          

        Ben had expected the others to dislike the alteration to their plans, but after Poe Dameron climbed all the way up to see the TIE parked with perfect precision on the viewing platform, conveniently _juuust_ above range of the nearest radar sensors, all he could do was stare.

      “That's… how… those things move so fast!”

      “Magic,” Pashi smirked wickedly. Kirin rolled her eyes in a way that somehow made him think of Rey.

     “She used my eyes,” Kirin explained.

      Ben jerked his head towards her and noticed Rey doing the same.

      “She WHAT?” His voice had an echo.

        He glanced at Rey, and she shrugged, tilting her head inquisitively at the pink-skinned skinned younger girl Twi'lek, who had the grace to look at least mildly apologetic.

        “I let her into my head, and she used my eyes,” Kirin repeated. Pashi reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

        “I've used the Force to pilot for years. I took over the… er… family business after dad’s partner died and he decided to retire," she offered by way of explanation. 

          It wasn't surprising, even after the purge of the Jedi and the fall of the Empire, Luke Skywalker had not been the only Force-user in the galaxy. They were as much a natural phenomenon as stars and planets, little cults and cabals of light and dark users existed on all kinds of worlds, some primitive, some pragmatic. Some of Luke's apprentices, like his old friend Kellan, and the other Knights of Ren, had come from such origins.

           But the way she talked about using the Force to pilot a ship so casually… It was a very Skywalker technique. His grandfather had been a masterful pilot at a very young age, and Luke was too. But even with the inherited skills of _both_ sides of his family, Ben doubted he'd have the capacity to land so smoothly.

            “And Finn thinks my Solo Landings are crazy.” Poe shook his head, using his arms to measure the distance between the TIE and the edge of the platform.

            Ben blinked. What in the seven hells was a ‘Solo Landing?’ He felt Rey’s hand on his arm, and looked down to see an odd mixture of sorrow and amusement in her eyes.

           “When we went to Starkiller, your father came out of hyperspace inside the planet's atmosphere to avoid detection,” she explained.

           “That's insane. Suicidally insane. Typical Solo style.”

           Her eyes flickered away from his for a moment, and he sensed her distancing herself from the bond, something she hadn't done in a long time. Concerned, he tried to catch her eye, but she retreated even further into her mind.

           “Rey?”

           “It was suicidal. Brilliant, but definitely insane. The whole mission was suicidal. I know why Finn came back, but I never thought about… about Han.” She still refused to look at him, but he could always tell when she was crying.

           Suddenly, the scene came back to him, his anguish upon finding Han, his internal struggle. Why couldn't he have just left? His chest ached like a kick from a wampa. Real, physical pain that ignited a flood of guilt. He had taken off his helmet, because he… _he thought his father deserved to see his face._

           Trembling, he backed away from the others, feeling nothing but the desire to get away from all these happy, excitable people… _How dare they be so resilient? How could they possibly sit across a table from him? He deserved… he deserved to be put on trial. Exiled into the Unknown Regions. Executed. Abandoned._

   He turned and fled blindly down the stairs, pausing at the guest house, but it was too open, he needed someplace cold and dark. He didn't even recognize where he was when she found him.

          The ship was powered down, mostly dark but for a few console lights, and he was sitting on the floor of the main deck, leaning up against the medbay bunk, resting his head against one tall, folded knee. There were strange little squeaks and high-pitched growls coming from the walls and hatches, and he peered around him in baffled curiosity, but he was quickly distracted before he could find the source of the noises.

          The first thing he noticed as he felt her come up the ramp was that Rey felt different. Her steps were heavy and quick, and she immediately slammed her hand on the metal air lock, sealing them in. Her energy crackled through the bond, making him look up in confusion. He had seen her angry before, but Rey's was a cold, silent anger, not wild and raging like she was now. She stalked over and kicked his leg out from under him.

          “If you're here to rage at me, I'm doing well enough on my-”

          His eyes went wide as his breath was cut off, and he looked at her with a sudden, unexpected fear flaring in him. He was just starting to wonder what was going on in her head, and reached out for her when she let him go, leaving him gasping and scrabbling at her mental barriers wildly. And surprisingly, she let him in.

           _You’re right, Ben. You deserve all of those things._

She slowly clenched her fist, and he closed his eyes, letting go, feeling the warmth of adrenaline flood his body, washing out any other thought. This time, she was there to catch him when she let go, climbing over his leg and straddling him as he wrapped his arms around her hips, pressing his face against her body. He breathed in her scent, the sun-heated rock and fresh woodsy smell of the forest. Slowly, she slid down into his lap, kneeling around him, drawing him into her arms.

         _Again. Please._

Rey pulled back slightly, pressing hot kisses and painful nips into his neck and over his ear. She cupped his face in her hands, looking into his eyes with a fierce heat.

           “I can't give you their forgiveness.”

           “I know, I know.”

           He closed his eyes when he felt the pressure against his throat again, and abruptly, she slapped him. His eyes flew wide and met her hard glare.

           “No! If I don't get to hide, you don't either! Look at me, Ben Solo! Look. At. Me.”

           He did, growling, his eyes locked on hers as his body grew heated and she rocked her hips over his growing erection. She watched him intently this time, her hand curling over his shoulder, fingers digging into the hard muscle until his eyes unfocused. He gasped, unable to control the spasm that wracked his body when she released him.

          He whined pleadingly when she got up, but she made her intentions clear by kicking off her boots and shedding her clothing from the waist down before sitting on the edge of the medical bench. She beckoned him with her fingers, and he crawled to her, burying his face in her heat, licking and sucking greedily while she leaned back on her elbows, making soft noises of pleasure.

           He stopped to wet his fingers and jerked when he felt his throat close again. She sat up and fisted her hands in his hair painfully, dragging his mouth back to her center. Quickly he flicked his tongue over her again, and she gasped at the surge of his breath over her when she let him go.

            _No. I don't know if I want you inside me tonight. I’m not sure you deserve it._

_I don’t, you know I don’t._

He needed her so badly. He would take whatever she offered. She was right, she could not give him the ultimate absolution he desperately wanted, but this penance could still comfort him. She hooked her slim, muscled calves over his shoulders, and he had to taste the flesh on the inside of her thighs, knowing and anticipating the punishment.

“I know you can make me come with just your mouth. Do it again.”

_Yes. Whatever you want._

            He wanted to give her what she wanted, but he wanted to make her punish him again, so he lapped at her in slow, languid circles, ignoring the insistent thrust of her hips and her frustrated moans.

“You can do better than that,” she gasped, clenching her strong legs around his head.

_I will if you make me._

They went on for a while, torturing each other, teasing, building a slow, languid fire, until she growled and sat up, grabbing his hair and holding him against her, writhing madly, moaning so loud and low he thought he would climax just from the sound of her voice.

“Do it right, dammit! Or I will leave you like this all night!”

He started to move his arm and she choked him again, moaning as he purposely gasped against her when she let him go. Finally, he sucked at her sensitive flesh and dragged his tongue over her in the swift, rhythmic pattern he had discovered pleased her the most. She reached out, pressing into his mind to share as he finally teased out her orgasm, closing his eyes at the lovely sound of her final, uninhibited keening, and the soft breath of his name that came after.

            “Thank you,” he murmured, laying his head against her leg. His own body ached, his erection painful and too sensitive, chafing against his pants, but he welcomed the uniquely exquisite pain.

              “You're thanking me?”

              “Yes. For sharing.”

              Rey sat up and looked him over, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips. He wanted to kiss her so badly, but he didn't. He wanted her to make him earn it. So he waited, watching her with worshipful eyes, to be told what she wanted next. She pointed at his pants.

              “Take them off. I want to see you.”

              He did, freeing his agonized length for her inspection.

               _Does it hurt?_

_You have no idea…_

She shrugged, her eyes sweeping over him to meet his. She touched a finger to her lips, and he felt a burst of something through the bond, a new idea that excited her. She reclined on her side on the cushions, eyeing him with renewed interest.

               “Show me what you do. When you're by yourself.”

               “I-”

                She drew in the fingers of her right hand, and he froze, his eyes half closing.  It wouldn't take long if she kept doing that. But he felt… ashamed. He avoided her eyes as he took himself in hand and began to stroke.

               “Look at me.”

               If it had been a cold command, he wasn't sure he would have been able to do it, but her tone was gentle, her eyes warm and admiring. She caught her thumb between her teeth as she watched, her pupils wide. She hadn't meant to humiliate him. She was curious, enthralled, and most definitely aroused.

              “Stop. Come here,” she ordered.

              He did, and she sat up, reaching out to brush her fingertips along the underside of him with a soft touch that was sheer agony. He made a noise in his throat, higher than his normal voice, and she looked up at him in surprise.

              “What do you want?”

              She wrapped her hand around him lightly, stroking in a languid, almost absent-minded way. His hands clenched into fists and he trembled, but was still awaiting her instructions. He licked his lips unconsciously, still tasting her essence.

             “I… Whatever you want.”

             “No.” She took her hand away from his twitching cock and curled her fingers, restricting but not quite cutting off his breath, so he was forced to speak in short panting bursts. “Tell me what you want to do to me. Those things you were projecting. The breathing meditation.”

              His eyes went wide. He had been toying with her projecting those things in the meeting with Poe. He didn't really… Okay, maybe, it would be… Her amber eyes burned into his, and he looked down.

              “I want you to take me in your mouth. All of me. You're good at meditation, it's an easy technique.”

              “Hmmm. On my face, too, right?” Her gaze was paralyzing.

              “Yes!” He groaned. “But not if you don't want to.”

              “I'll think about it.” She reached out again and took him in her hand, meeting his eyes. “It's very degrading. I feel like you should have to suffer something equal.”

              “This isn't good enough?”

              “It's a start. What else?”

              “I…” He flushed even more.

              “If you can't even say it, I'm definitely not doing it.”

              He mumbled something that she heard quite clearly through the bond, but she insisted on making him explain it.

              “I want to fuck you in the ass,” he spat quickly. “And I want to… put things inside of you. Fill you up with my cock and my tongue at the same time.”

              “Is that all?” She asked calmly.

              He hung his head.

              “Not really… Gods, Rey!” He looked up at her with fully dark eyes, an expression of longing and the flush of lust spread over his face. “There's so much. I want you to fight me as I take you against your will, tie you down, defile you for _hours_. I'm a monster.”

              “I am not opposed to any of that,” she insisted, meeting his gaze. She gave a coy smile. “Maybe I like monsters in my bed.”

              She leaned over and slowly licked him from base to tip. A few droplets of his essence spilled out of him, and she caught them on her tongue, then reached up and dragged his head down, forcing him to taste it. She dragged the kiss out, until he pulled away and she squeezed again. This time he was glaring, not quite angry, but defiant.

             “You didn't have to open your mouth.”

             “I want to fuck you. You said I could earn it.”

             “Don't worry, I haven't forgotten.” She smirked at him. “Put your tongue inside me. Make me come again. You're never happy unless you get two or three out of me anyway.”

             He knew she was expecting him to get on his knees again, but the floor was cold and hard. However… if he remembered this ship correctly, the upper beds in the berths were just the right height.

            “Can I show you something?”

             She raised her eyebrows, but nodded. He picked her up and she didn't protest, letting him carry her in and set her up on the mattress. Her eyes went wide when she figured out what he was doing, and when he ducked under her and brought his arms under her legs, pulling her to him, he found the angle was perfect. He balanced himself with his hands on the metal shelf, and proceeded to explore the inside of her with his tongue, the tip of it just sliding in far enough to taste the velvet walls inside.

             Rey dissolved into a gasping, sobbing puddle as he worked her with just his mouth and tongue, alternating between her soft entrance and the swollen mound at her apex. The feeling of her internal muscles quivering with her climax was enthralling. He wanted to feel it again, but he waited for her.

             “Can I do it again?”

             She looked at him like he was insane, laughing her soft, excited half-gasp, and pulled his head down. He was surprised to find her seeking to join his mind so quickly, but he realized she was checking on him, the same way he did, making sure he wasn't too uncomfortable. He smiled inwardly as she came again, laying back, exhausted, on the small upper mattress. He waited for her breathing to return to normal, and once it did, she sat up, eyeing him speculatively.

            “You're building points.” She hopped down and pointed the lower bed. “Lie down.”

            He expected her to get in with him, but instead she peered at him, her head tilted just slightly. He could always tell when Rey had some new idea on her mind, and the wicked smile that slowly crept across her face aroused him even more.

            “Show me again how you stroke yourself.”

            He did what she asked, his eyes locked on hers, seeing her pupils spread into full darkness as she watched. She was doing something with her hand, mimicking his motion… He let out an agonized, feral groan.

            She stopped worriedly and he jerked at the loss of sensation, moaning frustratedly into the pillows.

             _Ben…? Did I hurt you?_

 _No, no, please go on. Release me,_ he begged. He reached for it himself, and the pressure moved to his throat.

             _Keep your hands still._

The strokes were slow at first, the touch gentle and hesitant and his back arched, his hands fisting in the sheets.

_This is a completely improper use of the Force._

_Oh, I'm sorry, Master._ She paused, and he growled out frustrated curses.

            _Do you want me to go on or not?_

 _Of course I do. I just…_ He lost his capacity to think momentarily as she started back up. Holy stars. His eyes fixated on her hand, thrilled and mortified at the same time.

             _I thought you should know… the Jedi wouldn't approve._

_Good thing we're not Jedi, then._

           She touched his mind again, and adjusted the pressure and speed. Great Force, he was going to die, right here on this beautiful planet inside this stupid garbage heap of a ship, and he didn't even care. He looked over and saw her watching with rapt attention, her eyes bright and her mouth parted slightly in concentration.

           He found himself staring at her hand again, enthralled by her movements, somehow more… obscene than if she were actually touching him. And he was going to come from this, he could feel it building, feel the phantom grasp on his cock moving faster and faster. He thrust his hips into it, groaning, his hair damp with sweat and her taste all over his lips. Finally it burst over him, pulsing streams of fluid on his bare skin, on the underside of the bunk above him, and all over the shirt he was for some reason still wearing.

            It took him a few minutes to gather himself before he could open his eyes and face her, feeling relieved, but also a little ashamed. But when he looked, she had disappeared. He could still sense her moving around the ship, so he knew she hadn't just left in disgust, and she promptly came back with a wet gray towel and a clean shirt. And then she gently helped him remove his soiled clothing, wiped up the rest of the mess with the towel and bent down to kiss his forehead.

           “That was… very interesting, but I'm sure they're looking for us.”

          His eyes searched her face for any trace of the disgust he was so sure she'd be feeling, but she was just Rey, her usual quiet, serene self. He drew her in for a kiss, pressing into her mind, and she welcomed him warmly, with no change in her feelings for him.

            _Why would I be disgusted? You're never disgusted with me. ‘Look how_ _fucking wet you are.’ ‘Be my obedient little whore.’_

_That's… different._

_Not really. It's all about giving up control. We complete each other, in every possible way._

            He caught the brief thought that passed through her mind, and their eyes met. He looked her over up and down, dark thoughts forming in his mind.

            _That thing with the meditation? It's going to happen. I suggest you get some practice. I won't be kind._

_Good._

 

           Of course, Kirin knew where they were. Rey could see the slightly annoyed, bemused look in her student's eyes. Thankfully, she didn't tell anyone, but Rey was growing concerned about all that wild empathy. Pashi had shown up just in time.

          They meet the rest of their crew in the War Room. Rey tried to make an excuse, but Ben sauntered around with the Solo smirk, touching and kissing her way more often than she thought was necessary, and Kirin just stared at her across the table and mouthed ‘projecting,’ while rolling her eyes.

          “Pashi and Finn will be undercover as Stormtroopers,” Poe began, giving everyone a complete run down one more time. “Now, we don't know what all of Phasma’s plans are, but presumably she wants us both alive. Finn and Ky - Ben assure me they're  familiar with the brig and Pashi is working on memorizing a map of the _Absolution._  Tentatively, she'll be sneaking off to climb through the maintenance tunnels and gain access to comms and the brig gates."

           He paused for questions, but everyone seemed to agree with the basics of the plan, expressions of concentration and active listening meeting the general's dark eyes before he continued.

           "Kit tells us that the Stormtroopers are on our side, and I think he's a trustworthy guy,” he winked at the defector, “so once we're in place, we just have to wait for his lordship the Grand Marshall to arrive and then we break out, take over the bridge, and haul Phasma and Hux off to -”

           “No. They'll both be executed immediately,” Ben said firmly.

          She glanced at him, seated next to her, for once in a chair that wasn't dwarfed by his gangly limbs, but held her tongue. Of course, he would execute them. She didn't know why anyone sitting there was surprised. Well, really only Poe and Rose looked shocked. Finn mostly looked disgusted, but not surprised, while Kit and Commander Sloane were silent.

           “You can't just execute political prisoners,” Poe insisted. “General Organa would never have stood for it.”

           Rey could have slapped the man. Ben's expressive eyes flared with rage, before traveling on to sorrow, and then defiance.

         “You have no idea how many deaths my mother was responsible for. We're all war criminals here, don't lie to yourself, General Dameron. Do you think I relish the thought of executing Phasma? She’s been a loyal ally until now.”

           Rey noticed he said nothing about Hux, and she couldn't blame him. He'd tried to kill them both. Plus, he was vicious and clever, and a man like that was too dangerous to be left alive.

           “Sir,” Sloane's voice was low, and she cleared her throat as everyone turned to her. She clearly was uncomfortable speaking out in the presence of the Resistance forces, but Rey could sense her gathering her courage. “I'd like to petition for leniency on behalf of Phasma. A planetary exile, perhaps. Forgive me if I'm out of line, but it might be beneficial to our cause as a whole to demonstrate restraint.”

         “Planetary exile?” He studied her carefully, then turned to Kit. “Would that be amenable to you?”

         Finn and his brother exchanged glances, and it seemed for a moment that they had set aside their personal differences in the face of a greater mission.

         “What planet?” Finn demanded. “Could we dump her on Jakku?”

         His eyes met Rey's briefly and she gave a soft chuckle. She noticed Rose hurriedly shuffling through some paperwork, extracting a report and scanning it before passing it across the table to her. Rey took it, reading slowly, while Ben shifted around beside her impatiently and the others either waited for her to finish reading or whispered hastily over a map of the _Absolution._ She felt Ben trying to read through her eyes and gave him a mental shove.

        “Where is this place?”

       “Outer rim. Not far from Crait.”

        Rey chewed her lip and handed the report to Ben.

        “We have to help them somehow… I don't know, we don't really have the resources right now…”

        “Neither do we,” Rose admitted nothing they didn't already know. “But those kids helped us when me and Finn got stuck there.”

        Rey noticed Ben quietly passed the report down to Sloane on his left. She was a quick reader.

        “This is perfect. She's been there, I saw the report she gave when we were still looking for funds. She won't like it, but it will be a lot of work. Work that can help the First Order.”

        She handed the papers back to Rose, but Finn snagged the top page before she could take them.

        “Canto Bight? They overthrew the casinos?” He glanced further down the page and grinned in some private, shared amusement with Rose. “Better than punching a hole through it, I guess.”

         Kit had remained quiet until now, but at the mention of Canto Bight, he laughed out loud, drawing everyone's attention again.

        “Planetary exile on Cantonica? That sounds like Phasma’s worst nightmare! She hates that place.”

        “We should all get the chance to have our dreams come true once in a while,” Poe quipped. Kit smirked, clearly appreciating the General's sarcastic humor, and he gave the man a small, private smile before continuing. “Now that that’s settled, we need to go over a few things about how it's going to go with the rest of you. Rey and Ben, you're sure you can communicate with your mystical powers from that far away?”

        Rey felt Ben reach over, under the table, and fold his hand through hers. She squeezed it reassuringly.

        “Yes.”

        _I could find you on the other side of the galaxy. Unless..._

_Sounds like a fun game, but what's ‘unless’ mean?_

_Probably nothing._

_Don't hide things from me! I can see you thinking… Hux could get his hands… on what? What Force-absorbing beasts?_

_They're exceedingly rare. But he's sly enough to think of it… anyway, Finn and Poe are deadly with those blasters, and Pashi will still have our lightsabers._

She didn't know how to reply. Rey was still new to the Force, it had been… not even a year since she found BB-8 and left Jakku. Somehow she just wielded it instinctively, and occasionally she wondered if she'd had training before. Before the junk traders dumped her on Jakku. Force-absorbing beasts that could rob you of that power seemed too ridiculous think about.

         “We can bounce signals through the _Finalizer_ if we need to,” Pashi explained, glancing at Rose. "Thankfully someone here has some tech skills aside from piloting and magic powers.”

          She held a small extender in her hand, and Rey reached out to examine it. It was ingeniously simple. They couldn't send messages directly to Kashyyyk from the _Absolution,_ but there would be plenty of signalling back and forth between the three Star Destroyers.

          “That's really clever,” her eyes found Rose and the other woman smiled.

          “Just remember who to call when your flashy piloting and freaky magic powers aren't enough to save you.”


	12. A Permanent Claim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a last name, finally!
> 
> Seriously, these two are completely nuts, but it works so well for them, so I mean... when you find that special person who shares your special brand of insanity, of course you want to make it a permanent thing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know people have mixed feelings about the whole Reylo M word, but as a happily-married, childless weirdo, it doesn't seem so implausible to me.

          “Now?”

          Rey fixed him with an insistent stare.

          “Yes, now. We don't know when we're going to see each other again. I asked Khawapashi and she said she would keep it a secret, but we each have to bring a witness. That's their custom. Usually it's a family member, but…”

         “I can't exactly summon Luke's ghost.” He sat down heavily on the bed next to her, taking her hand in both of his. “I was going to get a ring or whatever custom you prefer.”

         She glanced at him, wondering if she dared to show him the ritual she had found in one of the books. The Book of Sorrows, it was called, and filled with all kinds of dark secrets the Republic Jedi wouldn't approve of it. But it wasn't a Sith book, the descriptions included light and dark combined.

        Rey found the tattooing ritual completely by accident when the books had fallen out of her satchel on Mandalore, shocking him with the audacity of her stealing from Luke Skywalker. She had carefully marked the page, intrigued, and studied it later for the information about Force bonds.

         “Actually, I'm not really a fan of jewelry. Some cultures use tattoos.”

         He blinked at her.

         “You want my marking on you permanently?”

         “Yes, I do. I marked you.”

        He carefully laid the green lightsaber he had been tuning down on the table in front of him and strode over to where she stood, in the open doorway between the bedroom and the living room. Neither of them had mentioned it out loud, but he could tell the Wookies’ distinct lack of actual doors made her as uncomfortable as it did him. Two out of the three times they'd spent in bedroom exercise on Kashyyyk, they had hidden in starships.

         Rey had carefully hung their cloaks on the edges of the bedroom door frame, and she was absently adjusting them now, as if she were expecting a need for privacy in the near future.

        Ben prowled around her, slowly, examining her wiry arms and tanned shoulders, lifting stray hairs from the back of her neck that had escaped her confining buns and caressing the nape of her neck. He bent down to kiss her there and she shivered in pleasure.

        “I think this is my favorite part of you,” he breathed against her. She raised an eyebrow, giving a soft snicker. “Of your _skin._ Hmm. But it's too easy to hide, and you've been leaving your hair down more.”

       “Because you like it.”

        Her eyes locked onto him warily as he came back around her and took her hand, holding her arm out to undo her wrapping, slowly gathering it around his fingers and trailing kisses downward onto her wrist.

       “Hmm… you hide so many of the best parts….” He looked up to see her slight smile, her eyes amused as she watched him evaluate her body like a canvas. He drew his mouth back up her arm and nipped her exposed shoulder. “These are almost always bare though.”

       She made a face of displeasure.

       “That's boring. Arms and shoulders are such a common place for body art. Surely you can be more creative than that.”

       “Hush. You didn't ask for my input when you slashed up my face. Maybe… No. It would be criminal to mar your beautiful face.”

       He gently pushed her head to the side, examining her neck, tracing his tongue along her collar bone. He studied the line of it carefully. Her style of dress left a lot of open flesh around her neck. It would still be visible, even under a hood or cloak. She'd have to go out of her usual way to hide it, but it wouldn't be difficult should the need arise.

       He traced a finger across the delicate ridge of bone from one side to the other, and she closed her eyes, humming softly in pleasure at his touch.

      “Yes. This is perfect. It doesn't have to be deep. Your skin scars so easily.”

      Her eyes flashed open, and she looked at him with a small trace of fear.  

      “You want to scar me. With your lightsaber.”

      “Isn't that what you asked for?” He gently tipped her head up to meet his gaze. “Don't worry. I'll be much gentler than you were. I’m not an unskilled novice hacking and slashing wildly.”

        She rolled her eyes. “That unskilled novice could have killed you and didn't. I think you ought to be grateful.”

        “I am. Truly.”

        He leaned in and kissed her, intending nothing more than a gentle sharing of affection, but she wound her arms around him and pulled him in for more. When they pulled apart, she held on, gazing at him thoughtfully, lifting her hand to tuck his hair back and trace her fingers along the scar down his face.

        “I am too.”

        He hugged her against him tightly, feeling her strong arms lock around him as she pressed her face into his chest. He sighed.

       “I'll go talk to Chewie.”

 

       The _Falcon_ was just as empty as it had been the previous night, except for the furry birds they had picked up from Luke's island, but Ben knew Chewie would be around the spaceport somewhere, and it didn't take him long to find his father's partner halfway underneath a ship, chatting with the distinctly pale-furred Khawapashi. His understanding of Shyriiwook was rusty, but he got the impression there was some kind of... flirting… going on, making it even more awkward as he stood a distance away, trying to work out what, exactly he was supposed to say.

       The female spotted him and immediately waved him over, warbling gently at Chewbacca, who climbed slowly out from under the sleek Mandalorian ship. Ben moved closer, but kept his distance. His tongue felt glued to the roof of his mouth, and he was sure every conflict in his head played out across his face. Chewbacca regarded him, seeming to be equally conflicted. Finally he took a step closer and roared, a long, loud sound that began furious and ended with a wailing sorrow. Ben bowed his head.

       “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Or anyone's.” He took a shuddering breath and raised his head, forcing himself to meet Chewie's eyes. It was harder than he ever imagined. His chest ached, he longed for Rey, for her familiar, affectionate touch, but this was something he had to face alone. “I see it every day. Ten times a day. At night, in my dreams.”

         _“It is no terrible thing, to die saving your child.”_ Chewie's blue eyes held him, measuring, taking in the second lightsaber, the naked emotion in his eyes that he no longer felt the need to conceal, the simple, unarmored clothing. _“If you let him die in vain, it would be unforgivable. But he did not. Both of them would have died a hundred deaths to bring Ben Solo back to life.”_

Ben moved first, but Chewie was faster, and he tried to hide his tears in the Wookie’s fierce, bone-crushing embrace, but he couldn't conceal his low, gasping sobs. The shipyard was busy, and public, but he was done concealing himself. Done hiding his emotions in the idiotic pursuit of making himself stronger. As Rey had shown him, countless times, true strength came from acceptance.

      He managed to compose himself when Chewie let him go, hastily scrubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. Khawapashi had stood silently, allowing them space to work things out, but now she looked at him and made a warbled inquiry.

     “Yes,” he responded, looking up at Chewbacca. “You're the only family I have, and we'd like to keep it quiet for now. If… if you would, we would both like to have you there.”

      _“You do not deserve that girl.”_

      Ben lowered his head.

      “Believe me, I know.”

       _“Of course I will be there. I will be there if you harm her, too.”_ He pinned Ben with his piercing, sincere stare.

      He laughed out loud, his shoulders shaking.

      “Yeah, well. There will probably be a line.”

 

       Rey sat in front of the mirror in the house Kirin was supposed to be sharing with Genji, although the two girls seemed to have scared him off. She touched the carved wooden combs in her hair gently, twisting her head to see everything clearly. She had been adamant that Ben liked her hair down, so Kirin had braided just the top half in a lovely but simple style. She had no idea where the Twi’leks had found hair combs, they were too small to belong to the Wookies, and they were a different style than Kashyyyk's wood carvings.

       “We could add some of those purple flowers you like,” Kirin suggested. Pashi made a face.

      “Rey is warrior, not a fairytale princess. Let's not get carried away.”

      “Lip gloss?” Kirin started to dig through a bag of cosmetic supplies while Rey eyed her dubiously. She pulled out a bottle of something that sparkled like stars, and Rey peered at it with interest, but Pashi plucked it out of her hand before she could get a good look.

      “Really? How many times do I have to say no glitter?”

      “It looks lovely though.” Rey summoned it back to her hands and inspected it, watching the light catch on the sparkling substance. “Like the second right before hyperspace, when the stars bleed around you.”

      “Open it and touch it with your finger. Just a tiny dab, like your pinky finger.”

      She did, holding the tiny glob of viscous substance up to the mirror. She brushed it across her thumb on accident, and looked around for something to wipe it off with, fighting the instinct to just use her clothes. Kirin handed her a small towel, and she brushed at her fingers, then frowned, much to the two girls’ delight. A look of horror dawned on her.

      “How do you get it off?”

      Pashi was braying with laughter, shaking her head, and even Kirin giggled softly. Rey looked back and forth between them.

      “Well,” Kirin said softly, still smiling, “that's the thing with glitter…”

      A terrible, terrible thought occurred to Rey, and she inspected her fingers again.

      “This goes on your lips?” Kirin nodded. A slow, malicious smile spread over her face. Kirin's eyes widened suddenly, and she gasped, scrabbling to get the tiny bottle out of Rey’s hand. Pashi took one look at Rey’s decidedly evil smile, and broke into gasping, braying laughter.

       “Oh, oh! Please take a holo of it, please Rey! Fucking stars, I'll pay you to. I promise we'll totally delete it immediately. The great Supreme Leader with glitter on his-”

       Kirin snuck over, covering the other girl’s mouth with her hand, hissing her name and trying desperately to shush her. Rey gently dabbed a touch of the stuff onto her lips and regarded herself in the mirror, hardly recognizing the reflection. _Glitter._ She smirked, and slipped the tiny bottle in her pocket.

       “Alright, children. I think I've had enough of looking at myself.”

       She ignored Pashi's insistence that they were the same age, and passed one last glance over herself, smoothing down the dark blue silk tunic Kirin had insisted she borrow. She wore her lightsaber belt over it, cinched at the waist instead of over her shoulder, and she had to admit it hugged her body nicely. The neckline was low, far more than she normally wore, but given their discussion about _marking_ she thought Ben would appreciate it.

      “Kirin, are you coming?”

       Having no family at all, Rey had decided to ask Kirin, knowing she would understand, that they were both orphans whose only family were the other Knights. The apprentice nodded and followed her to the door, both of them ignoring Pashi's vulgar comments and pleas to be allowed to attend.

      Once they were actually crossing the spaceport, towards the winding root path down to the forest floor, Rey could feel her heart pounding. She was going to do this. Now. Today. She recognized the faint sound of something rolling around behind them, and she turned, quickly dropping down to intercept BB-8.

      “Sorry, this is private.”

      The droid chirped softly, its magnetic head swiveling, and she followed the direction to see R2-D2 lurking around the top of the path. She frowned. She didn't want BB-8 spreading it everywhere, but for R2-D2 it seemed more… personal. She jerked her head at the astromech, watching it slink away downward.

     “Excellent job, BB-8. Your distraction worked beautifully. Don't tell anyone yet, okay?”

      It beeped a few times inquisitively.

      “We will, just not right now. After we get over everything else, we will. I promise.”

     The reply was a sad whistle. She scoffed at it as she stood.

     “When have I ever lied to you?!”

     

       For a second, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the forest floor, she thought he wasn't there. Then she made out the towering forms of Khawapashi and Chewbacca, and between them, Ben, crouching down to speak to R2.

     “It's alright, I told R2 it could come.” He stood up and looked at her, and her heart stopped, a sudden rush of panic filling her.

       _Rey._

She met his eyes, and suddenly she could breathe again. She walked forward, pausing to hug Chewie. Kirin trotted after her, and Chewie guided the short Twi’lek to stand in front of him.

      _I thought we should have a recording. In case… in case something happens and we need proof. I don't think R2 will tell anybody._

 _No, it's fine…_ He looked her over, his eyes lingering on her hair and the swell of her breasts visible beneath the soft fabric. _You look very… edible._

    She flushed under his unapologetically lustful stare, and he reached out to take her hand. He was wearing his armor, she realized. Well, some of it. The parts with the most polished metal. And his hair had been pulled back by someone who knew what they were doing, brushed and smooth, the stray pieces around his face fluttering in the faint cool breeze.

     She took a deep breath, standing beside him.

      _You look beautiful. Like royalty._

_My mother was a princess._

Khawapashi approached, wearing a sash of silver-embossed leather over her normal layers of chains and beads, and took each of their free hands. Wookie marriage traditions were simple. Rey didn't really remember much of it, too strung out on nerves and busy admiring her new husband, but there was a pause during which they were supposed to exchange some kind of token. She was prepared when he took out his lightsaber, although it took some explanation to soothe their witnesses.

       _Look up and stay still,_ he warned. She did, digging her fingers into her palms to brace herself, but she still gasped when the blade kissed her skin. The green glow didn't surprise her. It had a more stable edge, and she knew he really wasn't trying to hurt her. The wound was shallow and thin, no more than a cat scratch, angling down from her collar bone on the left to the just visible top of her right breast. She could just barely see it all the way when she looked down, fingers gliding beneath it.

     Rey hadn't even noticed him take the long strip of closure tape from his pocket until he was pushing her hand away, carefully applying the bandage and dipping his head to apply a few featherlight kisses. He pressed his forehead against hers, his hands loosely holding her shoulders.

     “Does it hurt?”

     “Not too much.”

     She turned back to Khawapashi, slipping her hand back in his. The Wookie glanced over her chest, but didn't seem to be judgmental. She finished the short ceremony, which involved Chewie and Kirin speaking lines that recognized them as a couple, then the elder Pashi tied a red ribbon around their joined hands.

     There were hugs and tears and kind words all around, and then Khawapashi herded the others back up the branch path, winking at Ben. Rey turned around, her brows knitted in mild distaste. The floor of Kashyyyk was notoriously unsafe, especially at night, and she had no desire to spend her first night of marriage watching for fog and killing massive, ugly predators.

     “Are we staying down here?”

     “No.” He was dragging two light canvas packs out from behind the massive log in front of them. She took the one he handed her and slung it over her shoulder, waiting as he settled his own on his back. “I thought you might like to see the ocean again. It's warm enough to swim here, and it's not a long hike. We can spend the night and come back in the morning.”

     Rey didn't say anything for a minute, just looking at him with a pure, content smile. She had no idea the ocean was so close by, in all the time she'd spent here. She should have known by the fresh seafood and myriad of shells on Khawapashi’s necklaces, but she never bothered to ask. He had planned this small, thoughtful surprise, knowing how much she liked water, but she didn't know how to tell him…

     He frowned and held out his hand to her, and she took it, still somewhat hesitant.

    “Rey? Are you sure you're alright?”

    Her voice was a choked whisper.

   “I don't really know how to swim.”


	13. The Best Goodbyes are Ominous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has so much fluff, it's potentially nauseating. Fluff and smut before the storm, because I'm evil like that.
> 
> Rey gets her matching scar, Kirin and Pashi have some sweet alone time, Ben finally makes good on that 'simple meditation' threat.
> 
> Operation nail-biting attempt to screw Hux before he screws everyone else begins!
> 
> Just a quick reassurance that this is still a Reylo-centered fic, but I love Kirin and Pashi so much, I thought they deserved a moment. Trust me, they do. (please be kind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings... Okay, here we go: oral sex, underage sex (Kirin is technically underage), sex on a beach, ritual scaring, drugging, and Poe punching *someone* in the face. If I missed anything, please let me know.

          "So? Did they really go through with it?” Pashi was sitting on the railing outside the guest house, swinging her legs carelessly enough to make Kirin nervous. She stopped on the path, eyeing the drop into the forest depths below, and crossed her arms.

          “Yes, they did. Do you know how high up we are?”

          “Nice! I can't wait to see the Resistance peoples’ faces.” She hopped down, sauntering over to take hold of Kirin’s arms, peering down with a wide smile. “Are you worried I might fall?”

          She wanted to be annoyed at Pashi’s casual disregard for her own safety, but her smile caught Kirin off guard, and she could feel her lips curve in response.

         “Maybe. Who else will dash across the galaxy in a stolen fighter to visit me in the middle of the night?”

         Feeling suddenly daring, she placed her hands firmly on Pashi’s hips, pushing herself up on her toes to steal a quick kiss, then batted her eyelashes in a practiced, but absolutely honest attempt to invite more affection. It was so strange to have the skills and training she possessed and actually… want to use them. Strange and frightening. She was accustomed to the real, physical danger of her previous profession, but had never felt so emotionally vulnerable until Pashi came into her life.

        As always, Pashi moved slowly and deliberately, giving Kirin the opportunity to back away from any undesired intimacy, and she appreciated it, she really did. But sometimes, it would be nice not to have to initiate everything when she could feel her lover's deep, desperate desires. Her lips came down gently on Kirin's, and she brushed her thumbs softly over the bare skin of her shoulders, but she would not make any further move to deepen the kiss or escalate her touches. It was getting to be more than she could take. She drew back and firmly met Pashi's exotic, dark eyes.

       “We need to talk,” she said softly, raising her hand to cup the taller girl’s face, a gentle reassurance that she meant nothing too terrible.

        “We do? You don't want to get married too, do you?”

         Kirin laughed softly and shook her head.

         “Not now, anyway. But, my love, please, I am begging you… Kiss me however you want. And touch me, as well. I am not going to fly away like a startled porg!”

           “Porgs don't really fly, they bounce,” Pashi laughed.

          Then she tilted her head thoughtfully. Her hand moved, slowly, her fingertips brushing between Kirin’s neck and lekku, coming to rest gently cupping the back of her head. Kirin gave a soft gasp, her eyes fluttering closed as she leaned into the touch. Pashi leaned down, and her kiss was more demanding this time, her tongue tracing between Kirin's lips.

         She opened her mouth eagerly, catching the exploring tongue gently against the roof of her mouth, feeling the tentative swipe over her neatly-filed teeth. Pashi moaned softly and pulled away, but her hand stayed, fingers gently stroking against the sensitive base of Kirin's head tail.

        “I've wanted to do that forever.” She smiled. “I always wondered what the teeth would feel like.”

        “I assume you'd like to do it again?”

        She ran her tongue over the filed canines and eye teeth in the front of her mouth. It was a practice normally observed for males, but of course, the brothel clients just wanted something exotic. She was somewhat self-conscious about it around members of her own race, but it gave her a thrill of delight to find that Pashi enjoyed them.

        “Yes, obviously!” Her enthusiastic response was endearing.

         For all her bravado, Pashi had admittedly limited sexual experience, and witnessing her joy at all the little discoveries was almost like experiencing it for herself for the first time. Actually a lot of it was the first time for Kirin, too. She'd never had a relationship of any kind before.

        “Promise me… if I'm going too far, if you don't want to do anything, you have to tell me. We can always just snuggle and watch holos or practice lifting rocks. I could sit on a branch and watch leaves grow if it meant I get to sit by you.”

        “Do you want to know what I want to do right now?”

        “Of course!”

        She had to act before she lost her nerve, moving around Pashi and taking a blue-green hand firmly between her own small pink ones. Her eyes intent on the other girl’s, she started dragging Pashi into the guest house behind them.

         “The masters are gone, and Genji is with his family. You are going to spend the night with me. Please?”

         Pashi started, her eyes both wide with desire and apprehensive at the abrupt proposition. She looked into Kirin's eyes for a long moment.

         “Are you... “ She cleared her throat, a light blue flush spreading over her face. “You mean as in-”

         “Yes.”

          Gently, but firmly, she tugged Pashi inside, and she stopped resisting. Once they were close again, with the curtain drawn, she caught a hint of unease from the older girl that she did not expect, and she gathered her in for another, more fervent kiss. She drew her mouth down to Pashi's neck, gently applying her sharpened teeth, and the other girl practically melted against her.

         “Kirin.”

         She brought her hands up to hold her face, and the look in her eyes, the warmth of emotion she could feel through the Force, lit something long dormant in Kirin’s body. She could feel it, heat spreading through her limbs, the wetness building in her secret places. Finally, she understood why people would go to such lengths as to pay for intimacy. She had only experienced it second-hand, and mostly a dark, feral kind of lust for purely banal needs. But if this is what it felt like to be touched and kissed and held by someone your body would react to… she could easily understand why even the lesser satisfaction of a paid companion was so profitable. 

         But she didn't want to think about that, and she firmly pushed it from her mind.

        She wanted to pull Pashi into her bed, and put her mouth on the places that would make her gasp and moan, and see the thrill of pleasure in those dark human eyes that looked so exotic against her brightly-colored skin.

        “I've never actually… spent the night with anyone before,” Pashi whispered softly.

        “I've never spent the night with a woman before,” Kirin admitted. To her surprise, the other girl laughed.

        “But I was counting on your expertise!” She softened the words with a smile, and Kirin pulled her down for another kiss.

        “We'll figure it out. I have confidence in you, my brave pilot,” she murmured as she moved her kisses further down.

         Pashi watched, mesmerized as Kirin's nimble fingers made quick work of the buttons on her shirt, pausing to press her mouth onto to every inch of skin she revealed. She tugged insistently until the shirt and the wrap under it were discarded on the floor, and she wasted no time catching the small, soft breasts in her hands.

        Pashi's eyes fluttered closed, and Kirin could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she moved her kisses down across the collarbone, tracing the line of scrolling gold tattoos down her arm with her tongue. Pressing a kiss to Pashi's wrist, she moved on to taste the smooth skin between her breasts. She yelped and whimpered when Kirin wrapped her lips around one firm nipple and trapped it against the top of her mouth, sucking gently.

           Suddenly Pashi raised her hands to Kirin’s shoulders and pushed her back, reaching to slip her hands under the light, strappy top she wore and dragging it off over her head. Her eyes dropped down, taking in Kirin's bare chest, and her lips curved into an excited grin.

         “Did you plan on this?”

         “Maybe,” she replied with an answering grin.

         “Really?”

          Her eyes sparkled with mischief, and before Kirin could react, she hooked her thumbs under the waistband of her skirt and slipped it down to pool at her feet. Her eyes roamed up and down, finally settling on meeting the other girl's gaze. Kirin was perfectly confident to stand naked before her, well aware of the beauty her form presented. She had never thought of it as anything to be proud of, but she found herself smiling under Pashi’s appreciative gaze.

            “So? Do you like what you see?”

            “Oh, Kirin,” she murmured, her hands reaching out.

            She expected a caress of her breasts or body, but instead Pashi drew her into an embrace, her head tails sliding over Kirin’s shoulders as she kissed her thoroughly. When she pulled away, she was drawing her to the bed, gently guiding her to sit while she knelt on the floor before her. She rested her hands lightly around Kirin’s thighs, her eyes darting up to seek permission. Kirin was uncertain exactly what she was going to do, but she found herself very much wanting to see.

            She gave a nod, and Pashi smiled, her hands reaching in to ease her legs apart. Kirin gave a soft, uncontrolled sigh as she kissed the inside of her thighs, working upwards, and she closed her eyes. Oh yes, this was an excellent idea. She had not ever imagined that sex could be this wonderfully pleasant. And then… _and then…_

            “What… oh… Pashi!”

            She was startled, but the feel of her lover's mouth over the aching nerves at the apex of her sex was so unbelievably exquisite. She had only ever been taught to please men, and she knew it was something pleasurable to them, but she didn't know it would work almost the same way.

            She couldn't breathe. She let her hands rest lightly along the other girl's tails, rose-pink against the dark blue-green, her thumbs caressing the smooth skin. Her lips could not form words, she felt as if she were under the influence of a drug, like she might float away with a strong breeze. Pashi drew away, waiting to catch her attention as she opened her eyes. Her lips glistened with moisture, and Kirin felt slightly embarrassed when she realized it was her own fluid.

             “So, this is good? Should I keep going?”

             “Yes, please! Maker, I had no idea...”

             Pashi flashed her mischievous grin before placing her mouth back over the secret, sensitive place that Kirin was just beginning to understand the purpose of. She tried her best not to make too much noise, but she couldn't help it, little gasps and moans slipped out as she felt an almost painful heat building deep within her. It may not have ever happened to her, but Kirin recognized the feeling from her empathic senses, and she was shocked to have it flowing through her now. Her hands tightened and shifted up higher, pressing into the back of Pashi’s head while she spread her legs farther to give her more room.

               She yelped when it came over her, completely unprepared, and she instinctively covered her mouth, closing her eyes as the incredible feelings ebbed and she tried to catch her breath. She felt Pashi pull away, and there was a rustling of clothes that made her eyes snap open. The other girl paused in the act of removing the rest of her clothing, her eyes locking on Kirin. She smiled, watching lazily from the bed, reaching out as Pashi stepped back to her. She shifted her position, lying down and making room beside her.

               They lay on their sides, facing each other, legs and head tails entwined. Kirin cupped her hand around the side of Pashi's face and kissed her, deep and long and full of promises. The taste of herself on her lover's lips was surprisingly erotic, and she delved with her tongue until the other girl drew away to breathe. She studied the dark eyes that held hers.

               “I didn't know that was possible,” she admitted softly.

               “Didn't know what was possible?”

               “The ending. I know it happens, some of the others talked about it, but I just thought… I've never had one.” Her eyes narrowed at the astonished look Pashi was giving her. She was quite positive her face was a bright shade of violet.

               “You've never had an orgasm? Like, ever?”

               She shook her head shyly, and Pashi tugged her closer, her arms tight around her while she pressed her face against Kirin’s shoulder and softly kissed the bare skin. There was a flash of anger amid the flood of affection and lust Kirin felt from her, but she smothered it quickly.

               “Well, my love. I see a lot of sleepless nights in our future.”

               “‘Our’ future?”

               “Kinda got the impression you wanted more than a one-night stand.” Pashi drew back to search her face. “I certainly do. Think you can manage to suffer through more of my attentions?”

              “Oh!” Kirin smiled.

               She had hoped for more, but she had told herself not to get too attached to the idea. Even when Pashi messaged her about her sneaky visit, she had assumed it was just boredom on her part, or at least she _tried_ to make herself assume that.

               The hybrid pilot was a well-traveled spacer, not exactly the type to settle for an exclusive relationship. But, Kirin was coming to realize that aspect was mostly a facade, and Pashi kept much of her true self hidden beneath the over-confident swagger.

                “I think I can manage,” she replied with a soft smile.

               She kept their eyes locked as she firmly placed a hand on Pashi’s shoulder and pushed her to her back, then slid on top of her. Now that she had a better idea of what to do, her hands and mouth moved with confidence, and she slipped into the familiar trick of using her empathy to guide her. She had been afraid at first, for so many reasons, but this was so unlike anything in her previous life, it felt completely different. And she wanted _more_ of it. _Yes, my little nightbird. Lots of sleepless nights..._  

  


 

           The ocean was beautiful, and Ben was right, the water was warm, but the waves were terrifying. Even with less than half her body submerged, with Ben’s solid arms towering around her, she shrieked and clung to him each time the water came up over her hips.

          “Shhh….” He pressed kisses into the top of her head, turning them so she faced the crashing water. “You're Rey, remember? You took on Snoke and the entire room full of guards with me. Surely the ocean is not the greatest threat you've ever faced.”

        “Rey Solo,” she corrected.

        She could feel his pleasure at her insistence through the bond, and she leaned back into him, clutching his arms tightly where they caged her. She watched the rolling water closely. The ocean here was warm and almost gentle compared to the pounding, violent surf of Ahch-To. There was a definite rhythm to it, she realized. An ebb and flow that she could feel pulsing through the Force, as if the ocean were a living thing. She gave it a few more minutes, and then she took a steadying breath.

       “Alright, let go of me.”

      “What?”

      “I want to try it on my own. I think I can do it. I'm not going to do anything crazy, I just want to face it myself.” He nuzzled her shoulder and neck, and waited for the next wave to roll back.

     “Okay. I'm right here.”

      She smiled. Despite her lack of experience in the water, she had to admit, it was nice to be alone with him. Since they had come together, everything had happened so quickly and there was so much to do, they had moments, but at times it barely felt like they slept in the same bed.

     Sometimes she only saw Ben in the morning for training, and woke up to him crawling into bed beside her late at night so she could could groggily wrap herself around him before falling back to sleep. Only to wake a few hours later in the early morning because she had her own responsibilities to the students, or schematics for the new cruisers that she had promised Sloane she would look over. Rey would shower and turn on the caf machine for him and slip out as quietly as possible, fiercely protective of the little sleep he allowed himself.

      Rey watched the water of the last wave as it was sucked up under the foundations of the next, and braced her legs and hips. She hadn't been prepared for how strong the water could be when it was hardly higher than her knees. She closed her eyes as it rolled over her, feeling fear ebb and something else, a sort of languid pleasure from the steady, rhythmic flow, take its place. She opened her eyes quickly to watch for the next wave, backing up slightly as her new instincts told her this next one would be stronger. All the while she could feel Ben’s eyes on her, and heard his low snickering when she yelped at the approaching waist-high water, scrambling back up the beach.

    “Don't laugh, I'm trying!”

    “You sound like those weird birds infesting the _Falcon_. Squeaky.”

    She turned on him, scoffing, her voice higher than usual even to her.

    “I am not! How dare you!”

     Glancing at the ocean to make sure the timing was right, she dashed a few steps, closing the distance between them, and flung herself at him with pretend rage. He caught her mid-leap and folded her into his arms, carrying her back to the grassy area where they had put their things. Rey liked the feel of wet sand under her bare feet, but she would not tolerate it inside the tent or blankets, so she made use of her newly-discovered mastery of water to siphon up balls of it out of the nearby stream and hurl them over Ben while he gasped and spluttered, his hair hanging ridiculously over his face.

     She quickly divested herself of the underwear and chest wrap she had been wearing, standing for a moment completely nude on the open beach while she rinsed herself the same way. She sensed him towering over her as she shook water out of her hair, and felt his mood shift abruptly as he looked over her uncovered body.

    “What?” She snapped defiantly. “I'm not having sand and salt in my bedding. I had enough of that on Jakku.”

    “A warning would have been nice.”

    She realized he had slipped out of his clothing too, mostly because he grabbed her to him roughly, and there was no mistaking the feel of him, already stiff and warm against her back. She shivered suddenly in anticipation, and gasped when he pushed her down to kneel in the soft grass.

   “You can't wait five seconds to get to the tent? We're completely exposed out here.”

   “Does that make you uncomfortable?”

   “A little.”

   “Good.” He tilted her head up to face him. “You know what I want.”

   “Obviously.”

   “Then do it.”

   “Maybe I don't want to.”

   She did want to, but she couldn't help but antagonize him a little. She spared a thought for Kirin’s lip glitter, slightly disappointed that it had all washed away from their hike and the spray of water. She still had the bottle though, and she knew she'd have plenty more opportunities to use it.

   “Maybe I'll make you.”

    He sunk his fingers in her hair, dragging her head where he wanted it, and forced her mouth open with his thumb. She caught the digit between her teeth and sucked on it gently, eliciting a soft moan from him, and a tightening of his grip on her hair. He pressed downward, pulling her mouth open, and roughly shoved the head of his cock inside, locking his hands around her head to hold her there.

     _I have teeth, you know._

“Hmmm, you don't want to damage your favorite toy, do you?”

     She looked up at him with a dark, seductive smirk in her eyes as she drew the rest of him into her mouth and stroked the underside slowly with her tongue, watching his eyes glaze over in pleasure.

      _You have a_ _point, I suppose._

She felt him pushing on the back of her head, encouraging her to take in more, and she gave a soft whine of protest when he hit the back of her pallet. She brought her hand up like she usually did, to cover the rest of him, but he gently pushed it away.

      “You can take it. Close your eyes. Breathe through your nose. Relax.”

      She wasn't so sure, but she closed her eyes anyway, taking in deep, measured breaths, reaching out to ground herself as if beginning her daily meditations. He slid in further, filling her mouth down to the back of her throat. He groaned, stroking her cheek soothingly, keeping himself blessedly still and letting her acclimate to the feeling of him.

        _That's right. Relax your throat._

_I still don't like it._

_I do._

        She felt him brush against her mind, and she shook her head slightly.

         _No. I'll lose my focus._

        More deep breaths and she slid her lips down the length until she brushed his base. Even without being inside his head completely, she could tell how much he liked it, he radiated a sweet, pure bliss, and his moan was loud and hoarse. Slowly, she dragged her lips back and shifted her weight, settling her hands around his hips for balance before she let him push back into her.

         “I knew you could,” he murmured, smoothing her hair.

          _You smug bastard. You put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?_

_Yes. It feels so incredible, Rey, please -_

He tried to move his hips and she panicked, digging her fingers into his flesh with a muffled noise of protest.

           _Don't. Don't move yet. Let me._

She moved her head carefully, sliding back and drawing him in, slowly at first, gradually relaxing into the motion. As long as he didn't move too much, she could keep doing it. The warmth of his intense pleasure flowed through the bond enough to make her want to continue, even if it was uncomfortable. The idea that she was controling this sensation made Rey feel absurdly powerful and possessive.

          She wasn't completely naive, she knew how much men liked this sort of thing, she had heard the women at the cantina talking about it. But Ben was so gods-be-damned arrogant, it was quite ironic that once he'd convinced her to do it, his mind was so blank and unshielded he might as well have been a Stormtrooper. She wondered what she could get out of him in this state…

          _I want a ship. My own. Something sleek, but not too small. No tracking._

_Yes, okay._

_I'm done being your apprentice. I want equal status._

_Mmm…_

She increased the pressure around him, gliding her tongue along the base.

         _Say yes, Ben._

_Yes. Whatever you want. Gods, Rey. Anything._

She knew how to draw his pleasure out of him by now. Faster pace, more pressure, dragging her hands down the back of his thighs. He was making all the rough, feral sounds she loved to hear, stroking her head with the slight, demanding pressure that begged for just a little more speed. She could feel his body tensing. She gave him one final heavy stroke, starting at the very base with her tongue pressed insistently against his underside.

          _Come for me, Ben. It's alright. You don't have to pull out._

         He did, gasping and shouting some very colorful things that ended in her name, repeated in an unconscious whisper, his body jerking wildly, hands clinging to her shoulders for balance.

         She ducked her head away quickly to get rid of his spill, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she turned around. He looked down at her with no small amount of awe, his eyes fully dark with wide pupils, and reached to pull her to her feet.

        Without a word, he swept her into his arms and carried her into the tent, proceeding to spread her legs wide and bury his face between them, drawing pleasure from her over and over, until she was trembling and oversensitive. It wasn't until much later, when Rey had come back from washing herself in the little freshwater stream and was sorting through their supplies for something to eat, that he turned to her, his dark brows creased in thought.

       “Did I promise you something about a ship?”

       “Mm-hmm.”

       She handed him a container of dried fruit and some sort of flat bread and he ate absently while his mind worked.

       “You said you're done being my apprentice?”

       “It wasn't my idea to take on students. And we're evenly matched battle-wise anyway. There's no reason to continue the charade anymore.”

      “Yes there is! How else can I justify having you with me if-”

      She took his hand and drew it to the bandaged lightsaber slash down her chest.

     “Because I'm your wife. I can't be your apprentice too. Oh, honestly! I was never your apprentice anyway. You just used it as a means to possess me.”

      “Oh.” He leaned back on the blanket in their cozy little nest, eyeing her with a sudden affectionate, very Solo smile. “You did it though. The relaxation technique.”

     “I still don't like it. I feel like I can't breathe.” She sighed and snuggled up against him. “I do like the sounds you make. And you're so wonderfully appreciative afterwards.”

     “Your voice is hoarse.”

     She pulled herself up on his chest to glare at him.

     “Oh, I'm so glad you care. Really, it's very touching.”

     “Does it…? I didn't want to hurt you.”

     “It's just bruised. I've had worse bedroom injuries.”

     He raised an eyebrow.

     “‘Bedroom injuries?’”

     She slowly lifted her head, meeting his eyes.

     “Would you like me to list them? My saber belt always leaves the worst bruises. Our first night here, in the shuttle.” She held out her wrists so he could see the traces of shadows still healing. Sliding her leg over his hip, she drew his hand down to a set of faint white scars on her thigh. “You bit me there the first time you tied me up.” Another scar, higher up over her hip bone. “And there. And of course, let's not forget Mandalore, with the white towels -”

      He leaned up suddenly, pushing her gently down so he could roll on top of her. Taking her hand, he kissed every trace of the bruises that still lingered, then moved his lips over her thigh, her hip, her breast, everywhere she guided him, mapping out her body until she finally drew him to her most recent scar, the one that laid his final claim, the same way she had first claimed him. He hovered over her, one hand holding the side of her face, his dark eyes brooding.

      “Why didn't you ever say anything?”

      “Because you lose your kriffing mind.”

      “You were bleeding! And that was different! These could all have been healed with -”

      “No, I don't want thrm healed." She fixed him with a stubborn glare. "Look at my body. I have scars everywhere. Trophies of survival.”

      “Your body is beautiful.”

       He kissed somewhere above her ear, a dozen places on her shoulder, the tiny gashes on her knuckles from tearing apart and repairing scrap. She watched him, smiling.

        “I can't remember how I got half of these,” she mused, looking at her hands. “But I remember yours. _Good_ memories.”

       He was giving her the strangest look, affectionate, but with a touch of something truly darker, something that he was trying to hide. When he took too long to speak, she brushed up against his thoughts inquisitively. Ben glanced down, and for a split second she saw Kylo Ren’s impassive gaze, before he let his walls down with a defeated sigh, and she saw his mind clearly and… _shuddered._

       He caught her response before she could retreat from it, before she had time to bury it back in whatever dark part of her mind it had slipped out of. He gathered her wrists in one hand, holding them above her while he grabbed her jaw with the other and held her head firmly to the side, leaning down to speak into her ear, his voice so low she could easily imagine it filtered through a modulator.

       “Is there room for more pleasant memories?”

       “Yes,” she whispered.

       He pressed his forehead against hers, and took one of her hands to hold up to his head, wordlessly showing her… All of the the things she had glimpsed from moments here and there, exposed in closer detail, letting her explore them carefully...

        Mostly, the answer was yes.

        Except _that_.

_Never?_

         _Once._

        _You might like it._

_I'm not doing that. You can, if you want, though._

_Knives are fine, but-_

_I like pain, but humiltiation is a different thing entirely._

_....You...like pain...?_

She offered him her own fantasies in return. Not as debased as his, but sometimes surprisingly dark and violent. She could feel what he responded to, and she wasn't really shocked by anything, but…

        _T_ _he interrogation chamber?_

_I'd never… had access… to a woman like that before._

_Now I know why it was so easy to fight back._

_You're the one thinking about it._

_I mean, it was the first time I saw you without that stupid mask…_

_Yes, how very shallow of you._

        _No… It was your voice. You are lovely, really, but…_

_Your voice is nice, too. Especially the part where you mewled in terror._

“I did not!”

       “You know I can take whatever I want,” he smirked at her.

       “I'll help you,” she whispered. He stiffened, and she flashed him an innocent smile.

      “Did you come there intending to _seduce_ me?”

      “I won't say it didn't cross my mind. You're the one who couldn't keep your eyes to yourself in the elevator.” She thought for a minute. “What did you say? Oh, right. You thought Snoke would _give me_ to you.”

       “I wasn't going to… I mean, I hoped we could…” He stuttered. “I think I've apologized for that enough!”           

       She closed her eyes, unsure whether to laugh or cry, but feeling the hint of tears on her lashes. He moved his lips over her face, kissing them away with a featherlight touch, and she gave him a coy smirk.

      “Alright, Master Solo. What would you like to do _first?”_

 _“_ No. We already did mine. It's your turn. _Master Solo.”_

       “The other day. In the _Falcon._ When I used the Force on you like that?”

       He took a deep breath and looked her over speculatively.

       “Show me. What you do by yourself.”

        She did. He learned fast. And he was clever. Very clever.

  


       “I still don't like this plan,” Rose whispered as they stood watching Kit and Finn critique Pashi inside the suit of Stormtrooper armor they'd recovered from their deceased colleague.

      “You're not the only one,” Rey responded softly. Beside her, Kirin sighed a very condescending, adult sigh, shaking her head.

      “Am I the only one with confidence in my partner?”

      “Pashi has the Force,” Rose complained.

      “So does Ben.”

      “Yes,” Rey sighed.

      She really wished they could skip this part, but even Ben had agreed, no one would be stupid enough to think they could keep him locked up with simple restraints. Unfortunately, she was the only person he would trust to drug him.

     “Excuse me, I just have to go drug my husband now. I'll be back.”

      She was partially aware of Rose saying something in a surprised tone, but she was all the way down to the spaceport with a drugged cup of caf before she realized her slip up. _Oh, fuck._ Well, they had to find out eventually. Hopefully Kirin could convince Rose to keep quiet. Rey had faithfully kept her secret, afterall.

     She slipped up beside where Ben was talking quietly to Poe, discussing what they both referred to as ‘Plan B’ but refused to share with anyone except Pashi. She knew the girl had hidden away both her lightsaber and Ben’s new one, assuming Phasma would want to keep an eye on Kylo Ren’s infamous flaming sword, and knowing the two leaders, she expected it was something akin to a brute force takeover of the _Absolution._

     She grabbed Ben's hand and threaded her fingers through his, leaning into his arm, despite the fact that he was wearing his full armor. She had selfishly insisted on keeping his cloak, to the point of stubborn begging, and she was wearing it now, wrapped around her like a shield against the fear rising in her stomach. He kissed her temple and ran the long fingers of his free hand through her uncombed hair.

    “Pashi says it's best if you drink it all at once,” she whispered, holding out the cup. He didn't take it immediately, holding his hand up for her to wait. Poe turned to walk away, and Ben reached out and grabbed his shoulder.

   “Oh, Dameron,” his voice was perfectly calm, friendly even. "I think you're forgetting something."

    Poe never saw it coming, turning just in time to meet Ben's fist with the side of his face, just under his right eye. Of course, he did the obvious thing. He swung back. Rey felt Ben start to duck instinctively and she reached out.

     _Oh, no you don't._

Poe was shaking his hand out, cursing. He frowned at Ben, grumbling.

   “Geez, you could at least act like it hurt, Solo.”

   “Kind of hard to do when you're held up by someone with the Force. A completely _unnecessary_ use of the Force.” He growled through clenched teeth. Rey released him, smirking as he prodded his face.

    “‘Unnecessary use of the Force’? You were ducking! And I learned that particular trick from you!”

    “Woah, woah. Don't use me as your instrument of revenge!” Poe waved his hands in the air as they both turned to him. He gestured to Rey and she glanced down to see her clothes had shifted when she stopped Ben with the Force, revealing the beginning of the cauterized slash over her chest.

      “You took off the tape?”

      She knew he would object, but Rey was not coping well at all with the idea of him leaving this morning, and the occasional twinge of pain helped her remember that he was still hers, regardless of the distance. So she gave a slight shrug, her eyes flashing daggers at Poe.

     “It's not that bad,” she insisted.

     She really wished Poe would stop looking at them like that, he was drawing attention. And she could tell Ben was going to make a scene, too.

     “Yeah, it’s not like he slashed up your beautiful face,” Poe smirked. “Now, that I could see being upset about. Practically criminal.”

     He wasn’t looking at Rey, and she giggled as Ben slowly turned from her, his eyes wide and scoffing.

     “Is that… a compliment, General?” His eye twitched, but she couldn’t tell if he was amused or offended. A brief flicker of jealousy lit inside her when Poe gave Ben Solo his best charming smile, and she gave herself a mental shake.

     “If I say yes am I going to die on the end of a lightsaber?” He winked at Rey, and she realized she had been staring very… intently. She shook it off and laughed.

     “No, but just so it’s clear, I don’t share.” She slipped her arm through Ben’s again, clutching him fiercely. “This is _my_ salvage, and if I catch anyone trying to steal from me, I’ll leave more than a scar. I’ve got my own lightsaber now, and my aim’s gotten a lot better than it was at Starkiller.”

     “Just admiring from afar. I don’t think he’d be interested anyway.”

      He touched his eye gingerly, shaking his head as he wandered over to the shuttle where Pashi and Finn waited. Ben was very quiet, but when she looked up, she realized he was staring at her with something akin to shock, his expressive eyes searching her face wildly.

     “What? No one ever complimented your looks before?”

     “No… I mean, I don’t recall, but that’s not what… You’re always calling _me_ possessive.”

     “You’re going to be locked up with Poe for awhile,” she pointed out quietly. “He’s got kind of a reputation for being charming. Rose thought I was going to try and sleep with him on Bespin.”

    “Were you?”

    “Mmm, no.” He glanced over at the object of their conversation. “I was hung up on you by then, honestly.”

    “Well, he was always popular with girls when I knew him, but I don’t think very many people actually knew he wasn’t interested in them. My mother did, though.”

    “Of course she did.” Rey sighed. “She knew everything about everyone. I wish-”

    “Me too. She would never have approved of this plan though.”

    “I’m not thrilled by it.”

    “Yes, you made that clear. Don’t worry, I have no intention of being stolen.” He pulled her in and she lifted her face, inviting a long, frenetic kiss. This time she didn’t care too much about the public display. He favored her with his arrogant half-smile when he pulled away. “Although it might be interesting to see how far you’d go to get me back.”

    “Anywhere. Give me a ship and a lightsaber and I’ll slash apart anyone who stands in my way.”

    “Speaking of which…”

     He gestured to a sleekly designed fighter across the shipyard. It was an old Mandalorian design, but well-kept and solidly built. It had a decent-sized storage hatch, and looked like it could hold two or three passengers comfortably.

    “That’s the _Sparrowhawk_. I bought it from Khawapashi. Chewie said she was looking for a good pilot to take it off her hands, so…”

     Rey blinked. Her first instinct was to go run up and look it over, but Pashi was giving them an exuberant wave, and Finn looked anxious. Poe was already on board, it seemed, and the others had finished their goodbyes as well, Pashi blowing a kiss to a blushing Kirin before she settled the Stormtrooper helmet over her head. Finn reached over to help tuck in her blue-green head tails.

    “It looks lovely.” She could hear her voice breaking. He kissed her again, brushing the tears from her cheeks, and she choked back a sob. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

    _Hey. We still have this, remember?_

He caught her eyes, and she felt herself breathe again. The he gently took the drugged caf from her hand. She had forgotten about that part.

    _I’ll be here when you wake up._

_I know._

    “I love you.” It still wasn’t easy for her to say, but he liked to hear her voice, and she wanted him to have it. He pressed his forehead against hers.

    “I love you, too.”

   


	14. Enter the Force-Neutralizing Plot Device

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wild Force Ghost appears. Who is it this time? 
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, hey, Hux sent over a gift. I wonder what it could be?

    Kirin came to stand beside her as they watched the shuttle exit the atmosphere. Ben’s last, drugged brush against her mind was wordless, but calm. She could still feel where he connected to her through the Force, a pinprick of white light in her heart, burning like the hottest star.

    “This is awful,” Kirin complained softly. “How do you stand it?”

    Oh. Oh, Kirin. In all the rush, she hadn’t even thought about their youngest student and her incredible empathy. Rey turned to look at her, seeing her own pain reflected in the Twi’lek’s wide eyes. Not just her pain, she realized. Rose was still leaning against the railing of the deck above them, her head turned towards the sky and her hand resting protectively over her abdomen.

     Across the shipyard, Kit stood talking softly to Commander Sloane, both looking radically uncomfortable surrounded by unfamiliar faces and the physically intimidating Wookies. For them it wasn’t strictly personal, she realized. This mission would decide the future of the First Order, an organization they both still believed in and wanted to make right, and they couldn’t do it without Ben there to lead. The whole shipyard was full of nervous energy, and she could feel it all because _Kirin_ could feel it.

    Well, that was one thing they could work on right now. She put her hand on Kirin’s shoulder gently, and pitched her voice to carry.

    “You find things to distract yourself. We all have plenty of things to do. Let’s go make sure we keep up our end of the plan.”

    She guided the apprentice towards the dark, leaf-littered path down to the forest floor, where she hoped it would be easier to access Kashyyyk’s vibrant Force.

    “Come on, just because Ben’s gone doesn’t mean we get to skip training.” She cast her eyes about for Genji, finding the apprentice with Kit and Sloane, showing the ex-Stormtrooper his unique wroshyr lightsaber. “Genji, let’s go, we’re training!”

    He trotted over quickly, but they all paused when Chewie called to him from the _Falcon’s_ open ramp. He was going over the ship out of old habit, making sure it was in good running condition just in case the situation arose. Chewie and Han had been partners for a long time, she had a feeling this was all business as usual for him, another brilliant but incredibly risky Solo plan.

    He waved at her, but didn’t beckon, tossing a small, round object to Genji, who caught it with the Force reflexively. Rey smiled. He was getting better at his instinctive command - they all were, really. She had thought Ben’s policy of using the Force as often as possible, even for simple tasks, was overdoing it, but she realized now why he was so insistent. The Jedi had always preached conservative use of the Force, but then insisted on monotonous practice drills and meditation, a clear conflict between dogma and reality that she found confusing.

    She watched the Wookie levitate the ball from one paw to another as he walked over to them, and her eyes scanned the spaceport, noticing some of the uncomfortable glances from bystanders. Perhaps there was some wisdom in both tenets. Practice as often as possible, yes, but there was no reason to make a public display out of it.

    “Your control is better,” she complimented as he joined them. The Wookie gave a pleased grumble, but she was watching Kirin. Abruptly, she raised her hand, summoning the ball and examining it carefully. She recognized it, though she hadn’t understood its purpose before. “This is for lightsaber training. I think Chewie likes you.”

    “He does,” Kirin confirmed, almost absently. She was looking around the spaceport, too, and Rey watched her eyes travel from person to person, hesitating before she turned to Rey. “I’m trying to shield, I really am. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

    “Hmm,” she stepped forward down the path, nibbling thoughtfully on a stubborn hangnail. “I think maybe we’re going about it the wrong way.”

    The apprentices were quiet, although she noticed one of Kirin’s head tails twitching back and forth like a nervous feline. Genji was busy fiddling with his heirloom blade. Use the Force as often as possible, even for simple tasks. They were doing it for levitation and meditation techniques. Why not empathy? _Because Ben doesn’t have any experience with it, and we’re scared._

    They could call themselves Master all they wanted, but in truth, even with Snoke’s training and Luke’s books, neither she nor Ben would have come _close_ to the knowledge and mastery of the Old Republic Jedi. Or the Sith. But, maybe if they asked, they could get help from the Old Republic Jedi. Some of them, anyway.

    She set up Genji with the training droid, timing it for fifteen-minute intervals on and off, instructing him to vary between combat training and meditation. The Wookie had talent with his weapon, and she had seen his mastery of movement with the Force during the fiery crash of the TIE, but he was not fond of meditation, and she had always gotten the feeling that he wasn’t really doing it, he was just quietly waiting for it to be over. Sitting in silence with his eyes closed was still good practice, however, and she hoped being on his home planet with the rushing, vibrant Force current, would make it easier for him to finally reach out and feel it.

    Then she turned to Kirin, climbing up on the big fallen branch to sit cross-legged and instructing the girl to do the same.

    “Alright, I have to admit something. Your Force skills are really powerful, Kirin, but the truth is… They’re also unusual. Like really, _really_ unusual.” She met her students eyes, seeing her words clearly weren’t a surprise. “The Sith didn’t have much use for empathy, and we’ve poured over the old texts, but they don’t have much to say about it either. So, we’re gonna try something else.”

    “I’m willing to try anything,” Kirin admitted. “I’ve done the meditations, and the shielding, but it just keeps getting worse, somehow and I…” She glanced down at her hands, folded so gracefully in her lap. “I’m afraid I’m… I’m projecting. And…”

     Rey waited, letting her compose her thoughts. She had noticed it on occasion as well, but she wasn't sure it was a good idea to confirm the apprentice's suspicions. Kirin sighed and looked down at her hands.

     “Master. I… I spent the night with Pashi. I think I love her, as much as someone like me can love a person.” She looked up suddenly, amethyst eyes imploring. “I have to get this under control. I have to be sure it's real.”

    Rey reached over and took her hand, keeping her breathing calm and her mind serene. She had plenty of practice yesterday, thanks to Ben's smug insistence. _They're just kids._ Well, Genji and Pashi might be kids, but Kirin was just as much of an adult as Rey.

    “You're afraid you're doing something with the Force to make her want to be with you.”

     She nodded slightly.

     “I'm pretty sure it's real, Kirin. But, I think I have an idea.”

     If Ben didn't have any answers, and Master Luke's books couldn't help, she could only think of one other option. She just hoped the desperate appeal would be heard.

    “Okay. What do I do?”

    “Close your eyes. Open up to the Force.”

     Seeing the pure delight on her student’s face when she connected to Kashyyyk’s Force struck something deep within Rey. Some need she had, to do good, to _help_ people, had ignited in her heart the day she found BB-8. Most of her life had been simply survival, fighting each battle as it came, day after day, but now that she had the luxury of reflection, she knew it had always been there. Just like the Force, Rey’s destiny was waiting, a bundle of dry twigs that blazed at the first kiss of a spark.

     Despite her anxiety for Ben and Poe and the others going back to the _Absolution_ and her wider worries over the future of the Resistance and the First Order and the apprentices, she was able to lose herself in this moment, fully focused on the immediate needs of her apprentice. She closed her eyes and reached out too, finding Kirin’s vivid purple signature easily.

    “We’re looking for an old Jedi named Obi-wan Kenobi. He died long before either of us were born, but his essence lives on, in the Force.”

    “Obi-wan Kenobi,” she repeated calmly.

    _I need your help, Old Ben. Please._

“Would you say I’m your only hope?”

    Rey couldn’t hold back the sigh of relief she felt upon hearing the ghost’s voice. She opened her eyes to see the incorporeal figure with the sparkling blue eyes sitting cross-legged on the log beside them. Kirin opened her eyes a second later and gasped, letting go of Rey’s hand to cover her mouth.

    “You’re a ghost!” She exclaimed.

    Old Ben smiled. Rey was quiet, letting the old Jedi take over while she watched.

    “An astute observation.”

    “But… how…?”

    “I’m afraid that explanation will have to wait for another day,” his voice and eyes were gentle, and Rey was so very grateful he had come. She hadn’t expected it to be so easy, but his soothing presence was exactly what Kirin needed.

    “Can you teach me how to… control my emotions? Or stop picking up other peoples’?” She leaned forward eagerly, her striking eyes full of hope and pleading.

    “Well, I can certainly try. Empathy is a very unusual gift, Kirin, I’m afraid it’s not well-understood, even by most of the Jedi. However, I can share with you what I've learned.”

    Kirin’s head tilted slightly, and then her eyes lit up with excitement.

    “You have it! Or, had it, I guess.”

    “A little, though I wish I had put it to better use during my life.” His voice was soft and Rey could see the sadness that always seemed to lurk in his eyes. “For now, let’s start with a simple meditation. Rey and Ben have taught you to shield yourself _in,_  but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way for empathy. You need to shield from _without._ ”

    Both of them regarded the ghost with confusion.

    “How do you shield from without?” Rey interjected, too struck by the strange instructions to remember her intention to hold back and let Kirin do the questioning.

    Obi-wan regarded her with an unreadable expression, but something in his eyes told her this technique was not for her. Still, she thought it would be helpful if she at least understood the process.

    “First, close your eyes again and reach out to the Force.” He waited while Kirin did so, but Rey decided to just watch. She didn’t need to divide the old Jedi’s attention. “Now reach out further. Feel all the life on this planet. Kashyyyk is an excellent place to learn this technique, there’s so much life here. The trees, the forest, the ocean and all the things that live in it, from the Wookies to the smallest sea crab. Can you feel it?”

    “Yes,” she whispered breathlessly.

    “Good. Now reach out further, as far as you can. Beyond Kashyyyk, to the other planets, the sun and the moons. Feel the Force moving through them, through empty space and blazing stars.” He waited, watching Kirin’s slow, measured breathing.

    “Okay,” she said softly.

    There was a touch of strain in her voice, and Rey wondered if she was reaching too far. But Obi-wan glanced over and shook his head slightly, indicating there was no need to interfere.

    “Now, stay there. Focus on the distance. The Force is everywhere and nowhere at once. It’s so much bigger than us, bigger than the planets we live on and the star systems we travel through.” Obi-wan’s voice was mesmerising, Rey was intrigued just listening to him. “In the scheme of things, even those of us who are attuned to the Force are mere molecules in an endless stream. A grain of sand in the ocean, a blade of grass beneath the sun.”

    “Yes. I think I understand now.”

    “Good. Now look back and find yourself. Try to see your body from the outside. Imagine you are a mote of dust in the dark forest, watching us here now.”

    Kirin’s breath remained even, her body still as she followed his gentle guiding.

    “I… think I see…”

    “You’re just a blade of grass, Kirin. The Force moves through every living thing equally. Grass does not have feelings. It is content to bask in the light of the sun. Just as you can be content to bask in the warmth of the Force. Can you feel that contentment?”

    Suddenly, Kirin gasped, her shoulders relaxing as if a great burden had been lifted. She didn’t open her eyes, but a serene smile spread over her face.

    “It’s quiet,” she murmured softly.

    Rey looked at Obi-wan with a profound gratitude, mouthing the words ‘thank you.’ The ghost nodded, his eyes returning to study Kirin.

    “Keep practicing, Kirin. Invite the Force inside you and make it your shield.”

    “I will.” A single, slow tear traveled down her cheek. “Thank you, Master Obi-wan. Thank you so much.”

    “You’re quite welcome.”

    These stupid Star Destroyers were definitely built to last, a fact that both frustrated and impressed Pashi. Her father had warned her not the trust the First Order, like she was too stupid to figure that out on her own, so she had examined and explored the _Finalizer_ every chance she got, from the polished bridge to the maze of wiring running like veins and arteries through the guts of the ship. She had been fully prepared to have to beat a hasty retreat, and by the gods, she'd drag Kirin and Genji with her somehow, but she wasn't expecting to have _break in_ to a Destroyer.

    ‘Expect the unexpected, kiddo, then you’ll always be prepared’ Kayt would have said. So while she wasn't expecting this kind of mission, she was always prepared to improvise. And right now, improvising meant crawling through a maze of the _Absolution_ ’s guts, keeping Ben Solo’s swirling violet-white and red aura fixed in her head as a beacon.

     It wasn't an easy task to navigate from a memorized map and maintain her connection to the Force, so she was grateful the “Supreme Leader” was so bloody terrible at shielding his power. She couldn't help but snort derisively. She always did the air quotes in her head whenever she had to say the words, because honestly it was a dumb freaking title, but these First Order nerds weren't exactly creative. Of course they were keeping Solo in a separate cell from Dameron, they had agreed that might happen, but luckily they were in the same block of cells, according to the Stormtroopers.

    She realized she was coming up to a dead end in the hot, dark, cramped passage and cursed. The only way back was to crawl backwards on her hands and knees, she couldn’t even turn around in the wire-crowded maze, and she was holding her flashlight in her mouth. Remembering Master Solo’s unexpectedly patient voice, she stopped and closed her eyes, just letting herself breathe.

    Unlike Kirin, meditation had never come naturally to Pashi, even though both her Force-sensitive cousins had tried to explain it to her, she was too much like her father. Sitting still, thinking of nothing required a complete shift in her whole thought process. But Kayt had taught her some exercises that were actually _useful_ , and she was fairly adept at them. She also had a few doses of glitterstem on her person. Just in case she needed the Force in an emergency and didn’t have time for all the centering and grounding and reaching out with her feelings mumbo-jumbo. _Breathe. You’ve got this._

    In her head, Pashi saw the map she had memorized cleary before her closed eyes, and she knew where she’d made her mistake. Thankfully, it was just the last branch. She backed up and moved forward until she felt the grating beneath her knees. She was surprised they had Dameron in the dark, but actually it was probably just more of the First Order’s old Imperial interrogation tactics. Keep the subject’s circadian rhythm fucked up, away from any viewports or atomic clocks, deliver meals at odd intervals. The Empire’s brutal tactics were vile, but as her Uncle Vasto was fond of saying, the Old Empire was extremely effective.

    Now she just had to hope they hadn’t started becoming effective on the Resistance general. Before she opened her big mouth to hiss his name, she tried a trick Kirin had taught her. She wrapped mental ‘hands’ around her feelings of nervousness and anticipation, and instead of calming or trying to lock them down, she pushed _outward_.

    Ah. There. That coiled stubbornness and arrogant impatience. Definitely Dameron, and he was definitely still himself. She tapped a multi-tool against the grate to let him know she was there. She couldn’t get through it herself, the opening was too small for anyone but maybe Kirin, but she had other tools to hand him. And she could definitely open those miserable-looking restraints. But first, she had to snip the wires to the room’s recording devices. She called up the Star Destroyer’s maintenance manual in her head. Orange for audio first.

    “Dameron,” she hissed.

    “What took you so long?”

    “Are you joking? These fucking passages are a maze.”

    “I thought you had them memorized with your Jedi magic.” She could see the cocky raise of his eyebrows in her head.

    “Yeah, it’s just like any other skill. Harder to use the more stress you’re under.” She tucked a key card, a blaster and a pilfered officer’s uniform up against the grate in preparation. “I’m going to unplug the visual and then release the cuffs. You’ve got forty-five seconds to get dressed and out as soon as you’re out of the cuffs, so don’t stop to admire your reflection in the shiny metal.”

    “Don’t worry, I plan on keeping the uniform to admire at leisure later.”

    She rolled her eyes.

    “One - two - three!” She yanked the cord with one hand, gesturing with the other towards the interrogation chair to open the restraints with with the Force. “Go!”

    He was quick, she had to hand him that. His only hesitation was a second of surprise over the blaster.

    “Nice work, Pashi!”

    “Praise later, out now,” she instructed. She glanced at her wrist comm as the door shut behind him. 0046. She plugged the visual back in. Now for Kylo-Ben.

    But when she turned to follow his signature, she was struck with a sudden, blinding headache, the most excruciating pain she had ever felt in her life. It was all she could do to back away from the grating, curl herself into a tight ball, and stuff her wrist in her mouth as she sobbed.

    He had warned her about this. That the First Order had ways to neutralize Force-users, and to expect to have to get by without it. Pashi had assured both Master Solos that she could function perfectly well without the Force, and she hadn’t been lying. Most of her skills at mechanics and stealth came from her mother, and as brilliant and witty as Wastrel was, she didn’t have a single drop of Force-sensitivity.

     Pashi’s first forays into her Force powers had come later in life than most, when her cousin Soran had come to stay with them after his mother was kidnapped. He had been trying to impress her, the older, wiser boy testing out flirtation on an outlet he thought was safe. Too bad Pashi had zero interest. She was happy to be his friend thought, once they’d sorted out all that, and Soran had kept her secrets until she was ready to come out to her parents. He’d also been there on the holonet when she complained about their complete lack of reaction.

     Thinking of her cousin, her parents, her life on Taris and adventures in her father’s ship, she distracted herself from the pain that slowly retreated to a dull ache in the center of her forehead. Gingerly, she reached out, but was unsurprised to feel nothing.

    That was that, then. Whatever Phasma and Hux had done had worked. The rest of this mission just got a lot harder. She fumbled with her wrist comm, paging Finn. It took him a while to respond, to find a safe area, she assumed, but when he responded it was clear he already had his suspicions.

    “Was that what I think it was?”

    “Yes,” she gasped. Her breath was still slowly coming back to her. “How’s Kylo-Ben?”

    “He screamed a lot.” She could hear the dull, bone-crunching sound of a fist on durasteel walls and grimaced while Finn shouted. He was panting when he finally got back to her. “That son of a bitch is almost as strong as a Wookie even without the Force. I've never seen someone put a dent in durasteel with their bare fist.”

    “Ugh. Yeah, it's fucking awful. I don't blame him. I feel like somebody hacked off my arm. It’s getting better though.”

    “Good, I don’t think anyone can handle more of that howling. You’d think they were ripping him apart in there.” Finn paused. “Kylo-Ben?”

    “Ehh, that’s what we call him. Not to his face, though.” Pashi had a sudden, stomach-clenching thought. If it was this painful for her, what would it be like to have that weird bond her masters shared severed so suddenly? “Fuck!”

    “Something else?”

    “No… Actually, yeah. Finn, can you get him talking?” Holy stars, her head hurt. Pashi leaned her face against a concrete wall while she waited for a wave of nausea to pass. “I have a really bad feeling about this.”

    Crawling in short bursts, pausing to catch her breath and wait for the pain to subside, she headed back to the Stormtrooper barracks where she was hiding.

    “What? Why? Shouldn’t he be better than you at coping with this?”

    “No. No, it’s probably worse. Like way worse.” She imagined Rey back on Kashyyyk, and hoped Kirin was there to calm her. “I’ve got to get a message to Rey. Come back to the barracks as soon as you can.”

    “Pashi, don’t leave me hanging! What are you having bad feelings about?”

    “They have that bond, Finn. Rey explained it, the Force connects them all the time. Like they are partially the same person. I feel like someone just hacked off my arm, but for Master Solo… I think it _is_ like being ripped apart.”

    Finn cursed, and she could hear the pound of his boots as he started running.

    “I know you hate him, but we need him to function, or its gonna be a lot harder getting out of here.”

    “Yeah, I can see that. What are you-?”

    “I've got to get through to Rey. She probably thinks he’s dead. And he’s probably… ” There was no time to put it in calmer words, and she knew Finn would freak out, but he'd have to get over it. "Well, hopefully he knows what's going on. I don't want to know what he'd be like if he actually thought she was gone.”

    “Fuck.”

     Pashi made it back to the barracks as quickly as possible, pushing herself to move through through the pain, but it still took more than twenty minutes before she crawled out of the grating into the tiny room she shared with Finn/KT-2184. She rummaged through her things, finally finding the extender that would send her signal back to the _Finalizer._ They couldn’t risk signalling Kashyyyk, the _Absolution’s_ team would notice, but there was plenty of communication between the two Star Destroyers.

    “Commander Sloane,” she babbled as soon as an officer came on line. “I need to get through Commander Sloane, _now._ ”

    “The Commander is a busy woman-”

    “This is a message from the Supreme Leader about Operation Sandstorm,” she spat quickly. _Operation Sandstorm. Who let Kylo-Ben name this mission?_

    “I’ll put you through to her personal communicator,” came the crisp reply, “but I believe she is still on Kashyyyk with Master Rey-”

    “I'm aware of that, yeah.”

    “It may take a few minutes.”

    “Hurry.”

 

     Kirin felt it immediately, before Rey even began to scream. She acted on instinct, letting go of the shield Obi-wan had taught her to construct, and wrapping her master with every shred of Force-boosted compassion and love she could manage. She knew it would project to everyone around them, but it didn’t matter.

      Desperately, her empathy poured through Rey’s agonized mind, digging for comforting memories, for something she could stabilize herself with, but _every_ memory was thick with Ben and she felt like she was just making it worse.

      She hadn’t known how difficult Rey’s life had been, and her heart ached. There was some happiness centered around the little orange-and-white ball droid, and Finn, but it wasn't enough to pull her out of the pit of despair. It wasn’t fair, the _universe_ wasn’t fair, and even the Force couldn’t make it better. Kirin was at a loss.

     She wrapped her arms around where Rey had collapsed to her knees on the floor of Rose’s little guest house, and did the only other thing she could think of. She opened herself up completely, and took in her master’s pain. Rey’s agonized keening split the air, and Kirin held her, rocking soothingly, siphoning her pain and shouldering the weight of it with her own psyche. She was vaguely aware of Rose moving around them, and after a moment, she felt other energies, Genji and Khawapashi, sitting on the floor nearby, adding their strength to hers.

    She had no concept of time or any physical sensation beyond the weight of the solidly-muscled human in her thin arms, but eventually, she felt Rey coming back to them, gaining control of her emotions. She felt it when her master became aware of Kirin’s energy, and other others in the room, also lending their support. Slowly, she pulled back from the embrace and Kirin opened her eyes to assess Rey’s tear-streaked, exhausted face.

    “He’s not dead, Rey,”

     Rose assured them soothingly from her seat on the couch. She sounded like she had repeated that multiple times before she got any kind of response.

      Kirin could feel that she wanted to offer her own support, more than just her physical presence, but was frustrated by her lack of power and afraid for the child growing in her belly.

     “It’s okay. I heard from Finn and Pashi," she said firmly. "They have some kind of Force-draining spider. It cut them off from their powers, but he’s still alive.”

    As one, Rey and Kirin turned to regard her with relief, still full of worry and anxiety as Rose explained Pashi’s message. _Force bless you, nightbird,_ Kirin thought. She must have been in pain, too, Kirin couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose the Force so suddenly and completely, but she had managed to get a message through for Rey.

    The human woman sagged in Kirin’s arms, and she released her embrace, but Rey reached over and snagged her hand, a gesture of shared support.

    “Okay,” she whispered through a hoarse voice. “Okay. We have to trust them. Poe and Finn are there, and they still have their lightsabers.”

    “Pashi’s got a blaster, too, I’m sure,” Kirin put in. “And Ben is… really strong.”

    Their eyes met, and Kirin squeezed Rey’s hand. She squeezed back.

    “We have our end of the plans to keep up,” Rey said, getting to her feet. She took a steadying deep breath, scrubbing at her eyes. Abruptly, she wrapped the apprentice in a tight hug. “I don’t know how to thank you, Kirin. That was… an incredible display. I don't know how you did it, but I’m so proud of you.”

     She thanked Genji and Khawapashi, too, slowly coming back to the solid, bright, capable scavenger girl they were used too.

     “Alright. Let’s go have some fun with star fighters.” She smiled at Genji and Rose, then turned to Kirin. “You get some rest. I mean it. I’ll send Kebba to drug you and Chewie to sit on you.”

     “I will, master.”

     Truthfully, she was barely keeping herself standing as it was. She stumbled to exit the house after Rey and the others, but found herself swept up like a tiny child in Khawapashi’s gentle but firm arms.

    _“Sleep, little one. Rest your mighty heart.”_

    She was too tired to resist. She nestled herself into the elder’s soft fur, and fell into dreamless sleep before she even reached her bed.

 

     He could still feel the pinprick of the Force Bond in his chest, but it was numb, like a faint hum of sound underwater. A sound like a wild beast’s howl came to his ears, and something else, a voice he recognized in some part of his brain that wasn't howling in pain. Oh. That was him.

     He closed his jaw and clenched his teeth as he wrestled to overpower the black beast of rage and agony that had fueled him for so long. Slowly, Ben Solo surfaced from the shadows of Kylo Ren and opened his eyes.

      “Answer me, Supre - I mean, you stupid son of a bitch,” said a voice to his left.

      He reached out with a familiar gesture, realized he couldn't access the Force, and became grateful his instinct was denied when he registered the face.

      “Da-” he stopped himself abruptly, carefully changing his facial expression into a cold snarl. “What do you want?”

        “Are you in pain, Ren?”

        The young man looked surprisingly convincing in the black officer's uniform, glowering down at him with disdain through the glowing bars of the cell.

       “It's nothing.”

        He turned away, scrubbing his hands through his hair, feeling several dents in the wall behind him that he was quite sure he put there.

      “You appear to be bleeding, sir - er… prisoner.”

      Poe was doing an excellent job covering suspicious behavior by pretending he was simply a loyalist sympathizer. It wouldn't fool Hux for long, but he was pretty sure it would work on Phasma.

      “Are you offering me medical care, Corporal?” He sneered.

      “Unfortunately, no, I don't have authorization for that.”

      “Is Armitage Hux here yet?”

      “No.”

      “Then fuck off!”

      Dameron nodded and stalked away, information exchanged. Ben sighed and took up a meditative pose. Of course Hux would want to make sure he was fully incapacitated before he'd dare set foot on the ship.

      He wondered what Phasma was doing now that Dameron had escaped. Would she tell Hux of the possible Rebel infiltration, or would she try to pretend they had only captured Kylo while surreptitiously working to find the escaped prisoner? He hadn't heard any lockdowns or alarms on this level, and he knew they had put Poe in a cell nearby.

      He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. He couldn't let himself think of Rey, of how much losing the bond must be hurting her, and how angry she would be. Actually, he _could_ imagine her anger, more specifically, how she would act on it…


	15. Let's Kill Hux!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeeeep, he's back. Everyone's favorite ginger villain. Will he survive and continue taunting dangerous Force Knights and sneering at everyone in the galaxy?
> 
> ..... we'll see .....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles are not my forte. This one is a reference to one of my favorite campy Dr. Who episodes, "Let's Kill Hitler."

      It was a few hours later when a contingent of six Stormtroopers arrived to stun him and drag him to an interrogation room. He nearly burst out laughing when they struggled to fit his frame into the chair. In the end they simply bound his arms and legs with binders around the back. He was certain at least one of them was Finn, because he had purposely kicked Ben's foot in such a way as to disable the cuffs. If he gathered himself and lunged, he could probably break the electromagnetic links on his wrists, but he decided to wait until the slimy bastard was actually in the room.

       He didn't have to wait long.

      Hux was nearly grinning as he regarded his former rival, pacing around the chair with his hands behind his back in that easy swagger that said he was quite proud of himself.

     “How does it feel to be the one in restraints, Ren? I'm curious.”

      “I'm sure Phasma would be happy to accommodate your curiosity.” He waited to see if his meaning sunk in. The Grand Marshall was giving him a slightly disgusted look. He smiled. “Personally, I prefer to have my partner in restraints, but sometimes she likes to reverse roles.”

      Hux’s expression was not only disgusted, it bordered on murderous. He remembered Rey using that exact wording at the hotel.  _ He must be murderously jealous. _ Ben had to remind himself not to laugh.

     “How… how  _ dare _ you! I am not engaged in that kind of relationship with Captain Phasma! I would never-” He seemed to realize what he was about to say and visibly restrained himself.

     “You'd never what? Demean yourself by having relations with an inferior officer? Or is it a more shallow disgust? Those scars are fierce. I can see why someone like you would be turned off by them.” Again, he had to restrain a smile, keeping his expression mild. Did Hux forget that Kylo Ren had spent  _ years _ casually examining his thoughts at will? This was almost too easy.

     “Your little whore has made you weak. Conspiring with Rebels, collecting children to train-”

      “I can't wait to see your face when you find out what Phasma is hiding from you.”

      He smiled as Hux stalked from the room, his face a furious mask.

_ Rabid cur, _ he thought.  _ Snoke's dead, and his wardogs have set upon each other. Unfortunately only one of us has the advantage of previous training. _

  
  


     The  _ Sparrowhawk _ was the most responsive thing Rey had ever piloted. It was smaller than the  _ Falcon _ , but large enough to hold two bunks, basic facilities and a tiny canteen between the cockpit and the cargo hold at the back of the ship. It wasn’t as fast and maneuverable as the TIEs, of course, but Rey wasn’t fond of them anyway, they were all weapon and no flying. The  _ Sparrowhawk  _ did have excellent ordinance options, all accessible from the pilot’s seat, and still felt like an actual  _ ship _ and not a cannon with wings. It was plenty large enough that she didn’t feel claustrophobic and Khawapashi had added some shield modifications and a fuel injection system to boost the hyperdrive, making it the ideal ship for single-person, planet-hopping operations.

      Rey wondered if it was too early to declare her love for it, and decided it could wait until she could demonstrate her gratitude to the person who bought it for her. Preferably alone. She already had plans to redesign the berth’s two bunks to a single double-wide mattress… Just thinking of Ben made her heart leap into her throat, and she felt hot tears prick the corners of her eyes.

     Switching  on the comm as she came out of hyperspace, Rey checked for Rose and Genji. The Wookie yowled his response, and Rey could detect more than a hint of excitement. He knew how to fly, having spent plenty of time with his grandmother's simulators, and had taken a few trips with Kayt Baasen along with the younger Pashi, but he had never been allowed to pilot for real. 

     She smiled, understanding his enthusiasm, but felt the need to reiterate a plea for caution. The TIE Silencer had been custom-built for Ben, meaning only the Wookie had the right physical dimensions to pilot it, but she wasn’t sure how much her husband would appreciate someone else flying his precious fighter. She noticed the X-wing come in to flank her on the other side, and hailed Rose.

“Ready and waiting, Rey,” came Rose’s sedate reply.

     Rey had felt a hint of reservation about allowing her friend to participate in this part of the plan, knowing she was putting more than one life at risk, but Rose had shut her down with one dark look. Finn was in danger, too, and she couldn’t deny Rose the right to fight for her lover either, or for the  _ family _ she wanted to build. Besides, she had a feeling Poe would be just as prickly about his personal ship as Ben, and Rose was impossible to be angry with for long.

She flipped over to hail the  _ Finalizer _ , floating in orbit around Naboo, taking up the entire right side of her viewport, the  _ Depredation  _ just beyond it. She knew its other sister ship loomed out of sight, hidden by the planet, holding the lives of her husband, her friends and one of her students. 

    And a hundred thousand Stormtroopers waiting to finally throw off the chains of servitude and take back their agency as sentient beings. Her heart ached when Ben told her how little they had accepted in exchange for defecting from Phasma’s rule. Names, and a handful of personal days. Payment for their services. More upward mobility to the officer class. Simple, basic rights, and they wanted every soldier under Ben's command included. The Stormtroopers really were little more than slaves, brainwashed and radicalized from youth. Of course, defecting from what was essentially a traitorous plot wasn’t exactly overcoming their conditioning, but it was a start.

“This is the  _ Finalizer _ , Master Rey, you're cleared for landing in hangar two,” came the communication officer's smooth reply. 

     Sloane had returned to the  _ Finalizer  _ a few hours  after the shuttle left, in Pashi’s stolen Interceptor, giving just enough time for them to notice Ben and the others hadn’t reached their supposed destination. In keeping with their plan, they had signaled back and forth several times before trying to hail and track the shuttle. Eventually, Sloane had informed Phasma of the potential issue, and of course the other Commander cooly pretended innocence.

It had taken two days for Hux to arrive, and another gut-wrenching half a day to travel from Kashyyyk to Naboo, while Ben and Pashi suffered the effects of whatever creature had been brought onto the  _ Absolution.  _ She wished they had been able to leave sooner, thinking of how much they both must be suffering, but they had to make it look like a surprise. She wondered how much Hux and Phasma were aware of her bond with Ben, if they realized that just by bringing that creature aboard they had signaled their treachery. They were about to find out.

     Once again she reveled in her ship’s smooth handling, dropping it down in perfect form on the deck space assigned to her. Rose and Genji waited out in space, hidden beneath the mass of the Star Destroyer, waiting to provide a distraction at the opportune moment.

     “Are you guys alright out there?” She checked once more before powering down the  _ Sparrowhawk _ .

     “We're fine, Rey. You just worry about your end.”

     “Be careful, Rose. And Genji, take care of Ben's ship.”

     “You, too.”

      Genji warbled a similar response.

      She stepped out of her new ship to meet Commander Sloane, half a dozen officers and a cadre of Stormtroopers. They saluted, a surprising display she didn't think she'd ever get accustomed to. She turned and walked in step with Sloane, a small group of officers and two guards trailing after them.

      “Any sign of the bounty hunters yet?”

      “They're not onboard, but we've traced Hux's signals.”

       “And?”

       Sloane stopped just outside of the bridge to regard Rey with what was, for her, a very concerned expression. She shot a glare at their gaggle of followers, and they stepped back while she leaned in to whisper.

      “These aren't just the regular scum. They're based out of Ord Mantell and they're not just bounty hunters. They're skin traders who deal in Force-sensitives.”

      Rey's stomach tightened. She'd had run ins with slavers before, and they were by far the nastiest group of people she'd ever encountered on Jakku. Even Plutt was wary around them, and he traded in slavery himself. But buying and owning slaves was different from actually hunting down and capturing people to sell.

      “Do you have any more details? I need names at least.”

      She walked on into the bridge, and Commander Sloane followed her, walking to her own console as Rey perched uneasily in Ben's command center, peering at the displays before her. Sloane tapped quickly on her screen, and a file was displayed for Rey. 

      She chewed her thumbnail as she read it, trying to think quickly.  _ The Red Hand.  _ Hadn't they been running the place Kirin escaped from on Mandalore? How many bases did these people have?

      They had assumed the plan was to sell Ben to the Hutts and ransom Dameron and obviously only the very elite would take the risk of transporting a Force-user, especially Kylo Ren, but she felt like there was something she was missing.  She could sense Sloane watching her, and she typed a designation into the communication display on her right.

      “I'm going to check with a friend. She's completely trustworthy, I promise, and she knows pretty much everything.” She waited for the signal to connect, and smiled slightly at the sound of the voice on the other end. “Maz, I need your help. What do you know about a group of bounty hunters called the Red Hand?”

       She could see the short woman’s face crease with disgust and concern.

       “A dangerous group of people. They try to call themselves bounty hunters, hah! They're really the nastiest kind of slavers. Made a name for themselves capturing children for Palpatine and other darksiders. I hate to ask how you heard of them.”

       “Hux is trying to sell them Kylo Ren, I think.”

       “Oh my. That's a stretch, even for them. They're used to Force-sensitives and they've got ways of dealing with it, but only a fool would try to cross  _ him. _ ” Maz adjusted her lenses and studied Rey carefully. “Be cautious, child. If they can't get your man, they'll settle for any Force-user rather than come out empty-handed."

       “Yes, I understand. Thank you, Maz.”

       "They're bad, bad business. Rumor has it they not only run brothels, but sell Force-sensitives for use in breeding programs."

       " _Breeding programs?_ " Rey exchanged a glance with the commander. "You mean Force-using clones?"

       "Well, for wealthier buyers, I suppose. But I'm sure you can imagine that it's cheaper to do it the old-fashioned way." She leaned in and adjusted her lenses. "These people are dangerous, girl. Don't make the mistake of underestimating them."

       "We won't. Thank you."

       “Call anytime, dear.” 

        Rey turned to look at Sloane, suddenly aware of how young and alone she was, sitting at the Supreme Leader’s command center, trying to formulate plans and make decisions she was not at all confident in. She had turned Kylo Ren down when he asked her to rule the galaxy with him, and she had fled the Resistance partly because she didn't want to be a replacement for Luke and Leia. Now here she was, again expected to lead when all she really wanted to do was sneak on board the  _ Absolution _ , kill Hux and free her lover and her friends. 

        But why couldn't she do just that? If the Stormtroopers on Phasma's ship wanted to revolt, why not let them? They could deal with Phasma, Rey would see to Hux and they'd have control of the bridge before the Red Hand slavers even came out of hyperspace. And then they might actually be able to to do more for the galaxy than just eliminate Armitage Hux. 

       Sure, it was dangerous and she didn't relish the idea of losing her Force powers, but she had done something similar to retake the  _ Finalizer  _ after Hux's treachery. After over a decade of pulling them apart, Rey knew these Star Destroyers inside and out, she knew she could slip through them undetected even without the Force.

       She just needed to know where to strike.

       “Do we still have contact with Finn and Poe?”

       “Yes. Dameron broke free of his cell just before Hux arrived, and FN- er -  _ Finn _ is still on regular duty as KT-2184.” Rey nodded thoughtfully.

       “We need to find that creature and get rid of it. Make that our top priority.” She paused, knowing Sloane wouldn't like this part. “I need to borrow a uniform and a blaster. And a pilot.”

       The Commander surprised her by pressing a button on her console and summoning a specific Stormtrooper. Her clear amber eyes held Rey as they waited, hiding a wealth of thoughts locked tightly behind firm mental shields and a cold, professional facade.

       “Sloane, why did you choose to follow Ben? All of this must seem incredibly unorthodox to you. You don't have to answer, I just wondered.”

        She tilted her head slightly.

       “You were an orphan, too, weren't you, Master Rey?”

       Rey nodded. She knew Ceres Sloane was adopted, but not when or why.

       “My mother was, as well. The Empire gave her everything. A life, a career, a place to belong. She knew it wasn't perfect, but she had hoped to bring change from within. I hope for the same.”

       “What changes would you bring?”

       The woman pressed her lips together, but whatever response she might have had was interrupted by the arrival of the soldier she had summoned.

        “TL-8456 reporting, ma’am.” She saluted Sloane and then Rey, waiting. Rey rose, nodding to the Commander.

        “Keep thinking, Commander. I personally would be very interested to hear your suggestions.”

        “Yes, I will. TL-8456 is an excellent pilot. She'll take good care of you.”


	16. Just Pick One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, lightsabers can't breach this things carapace, however will we kill it while we're on this starship in the midst of space?
> 
> Pashi might be a little bit sexist. Or maybe the boys she's met are just dumb...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some minor mention of IV/needles.

            Ben was sitting with his back to the cool wall, his long legs folded beneath him as he tried to meditate. Without the Force, it was like pretending to eat with a knife and fork from and empty plate, but the measured breathing kept his mind still. Every second without contact with the Force - or Rey - was excruciating. He wasn't sure which was worse, but it was all he could do to keep himself from lashing out and pounding something with his fists again.

           The knuckles on his right hand throbbed as if to protest, still healing under a bacta patch from the broken, bloody mess he'd made of them and he realized he had clenched his fist. Slowly, he forced himself to relax. Hux had not tried to interrogate him again, and he had been left to the emptiness of his cell.

            His hyper aware senses caught the sound of something in the ventilation shaft immediately, and he opened his eyes. Pashi’s blue-green face peered out at him, a finger to her lips for silence. He closed his eyes again until she hissed his name, and when he looked over, he saw she had his lightsaber. She had unscrewed the grating, and she shoved the weapon towards him, sending it spinning across the floor. He caught it quickly and slipped it beneath the long sleeve of his cloak.

          “Rey's here,” she whispered, and his shoulders sunk in relief. Pashi gave him a teasing half-smile. “Thought you'd like to know.”

         “Thank you. I assume there's a plan of some kind?”

         “There is. I'm going to go help Dameron and Finn kill Hux's pet. You just concentrate on finding your wife when we get our mystic powers back.” She wiggled her fingers menacingly. “You can get out by yourself, right?”

         He blinked at her, holding up the weapon she had passed him.

        “Lightsabers will cut through just about anything. Did I not tell you that?”

        “You can cut through durasteel?!” He looked away as the girl fished her own weapon out from where she had hidden it inside her shirt. She peered at it thoughtfully. “Nah, screw Dameron. I'm coming with you.”

        “Pashi-” He sighed.

        There was no point. She was already carving up the vent to make enough room for her to squeeze through. Her wrist comm buzzed as she climbed through to his cell.

        “We found the spider,” came Finn's voice.

        “Where's my magic powers, then?”

        “It's got the best armor I've ever seen. Our blasters bounce right off. And yes, we tried to murder it with Kylo’s fiery death blade, too.”

        Pashi glanced at him for help. Ben picked up his green saber, climbing to his feet and going to the door. He cast an eyeroll at her and she shrugged sympathetically. 

       “Throw it out a  _fucking airlock._ " He just barely stopped himself from adding more expletives. Dameron and Finn together somehow had even less intelligence than they did apart.

       “Oh, right."

      Through the comm, they could hear the two Resistance fighters struggling and the shrieking of the vile Force-blocking beast. Finally, Finn yelped loudly, followed by a loud rush of air.

     “That motherfucker _bit_ me! These things better not be poisonous, Solo!”

      But neither Ben or Pashi responded. For a brief, brilliant moment, they shared a look of wonder between them. Then Ben rushed to the door and slammed his blade through it. He could feel Rey again, and his mind was overwhelmed, all his senses filled with her - her sparkling eyes danced before him, her calloused hands brushed his hair from his face, her scent of sun-warmed stone and cedar wood surrounded him. She was close, and he had to get to her, he would lose his mind shortly if he couldn't get to her fast enough.

        Where the hell was Pashi? She had Ahsoka's saber, she could help with this. He turned to see her with her hands held out before her, balancing in the weapon in midair between them.

        “When you're done playing, I need help with this door!”

        He felt a moment of aggravation knowing Finn had his original weapon. It would have cut through the durasteel cell door so much faster. But then Pashi was there, and together they carved out a neat half-circle each, meeting at the top. Ben started to gather the Force to blast it open, but Pashi was faster. She howled in delight as the steel circle flew into the wall of the brig across from them, but he was the first to climb out, his head turning immediately towards the bright, aching warmth that was _Rey._

        _I missed you._

        He had no words, but he knew she could read his feelings, so he let the depth of his emotion speak for him. He felt the same overwhelming warmth returned to him, but it was cut off by a flash of annoyance.

        _I could use some help. I found Hux._

       He grabbed Pashi’s arm, dragging her along with him as he tracked down Rey. It probably didn't even take a whole minute, but it might as well have been hours. His apprentice grumbled behind him, but she came willingly. He paused at the end of a long corridor leading to the lower hangar. He felt Rey, and for a moment, he was in her head, assessing the situation from her vantage.

       “Go in and distract them,” he whispered. “I'm going to come in through the hangar.”

       She nodded, and advanced down the hall. He could hear Rey’s disparaging tone, and he knew Hux would be focused on the damage to his fragile ego. He ducked down a smaller service tunnel, keeping his head down under the low ceiling. He reached out to Rey again, seeing Pashi come up besides Finn, who already had his blaster out and aimed… why was it pointed _at_ Rey? And why wasn't Pashi advancing?

       _I had him when they got rid of the spider._ There was a touch of embarrassment coloring her thoughts. _I got distracted. Only for a second, but now he has Poe's blaster._

      Oh. Wait. Was he..?

      Ben had a clear view as he came around to the end of the corridor, swinging his lightsaber loosely. Hux had a handful of Rey’s hair, and a blaster pointed to her head. Rage, white and hot like the blade of his lightsaber ignited in Ben Solo’s chest, summoning the darkest part of him, leashed but never fully exorcised. Darth Vader’s hilt sang in his hand, even with the pure, green blade emanating from it.

       “I want a ship,” the smug bastard demanded. “Not some dingy TIE, a comfortable ride. No tracking. And credits. And-”

       “ **_HUX!_ ** ” The voice that growled across the hanger was almost inhuman, and he smiled grimly as the man flinched and trembled. “Get your hands off my wife.”

        As soon as Hux's hand strayed away from her temple, Rey brought her elbow down and her knee up. Ben noticed Finn and Pashi wince, then look at each other with mutual disgust.

       Rey summoned his blaster to her hand, as the red-haired man cowered on the floor under the threat of two lightsabers and two blasters.

       “Please, please. I surrender!”

       Without moving her gaze, Rey spoke to Ben.

       “What's the penalty for treason, Supreme Leader?”

       “Execution.”

       He was not going to elaborate. Rey could make her own decision, and he would abide by it, even if she chose to be lenient.

       “That's what I thought.” She glowered at Hux. “How badly do you want to live, Armitage?”

        “Woah, he's our prisoner, Rey. We caught him.”

        He recognized Poe Dameron’s voice, although he didn’t see the man at first. As he walked closer, Ben saw what he had missed before, a door to the left where a pair of Stormtroopers and Dameron held blasters at a kneeling Phasma.

        He grew worried when he noticed blood pooling on the floor, and followed it back to the source. Two sources, in fact. It appeared Dameron and Phasma had fired at each other, although Poe seemed to have had better aim. He was bleeding slowly from a wound in the thigh, while Phasma was pale and blinking rapidly, both hands held over the heavily scarred side of her torso. She was still wearing only the arm and leg pieces of her trademark armor.

        Rey gave orders briskly, still facing away from him.

       “He's my prisoner now. Give me the restraints.” She demanded.

       Finn handed them over without complaint. With the barrel of the blaster shoved against his head, she forced Hux to his knees and cuffed his hands agonizingly tight behind his head. Then handed the blaster to Finn and summoned her lightsaber from down the hall. With the unlit hilt pressed to his temple, she dragged him around to face Ben.

       Her eyes when he met them were terrifying, and he had to fight every instinct in his head and body to remain passively cool when he wanted to consume her in the most desperate way. Hux had a black eye, and a cauterized wound from a lightsaber marred his face just below it.

       “Pick one,” she told him. He started to struggle to look at her, and she snapped the hilt sharply against his scalp. Predictably, he whined and sniveled at Ben.

       “I cannot believe you're just standing there while your who-”

        He wasn't sure which one of them did it first. It was a miracle they didn't accidentally crush his throat under their combined assault. Ben let go immediately, but Rey held it until his actual lifeforce began to fluctuate.

        _Rey! You're killing him!_

_You're stopping me?_

She let go, finally, leaving the man to gasp and twitch on the floor. Rey raised her hand, and with her boot firmly on the side of his face, she ignited her weapon, lowering the red blade a few centimeters from Hux's ear.

       “How badly do you want to live?” She demanded again. “Pick one. General Dameron or Kylo Ren. Or I will choose for you.”

       “That's not a choice!”

       “It's the only one you're going to get so I suggest you make it now!”

       To the surprise of absolutely no one, he chose to be remanded into the Rebel’s custody. Rey lifted her foot, and a pair of Stormtroopers came to take him to a holding cell. She gave more orders, briskly, with the clipped accent that made him smile.

      “Get these two to the med bay. Yes, Finn, I'm talking to you! Do it now!”

      Did he actually see Finn catch his eye and nod before ducking into the room? The defector was wearing white armor again, although he had managed to lose the helmet. Pashi was babbling excitedly to Rey, who responded in short sentences, exchanging a quick hug. Finally she gave an exasperated sigh and whispered something in her ear, then gently but firmly pushed her away. The apprentice’s eyes shifted to where Ben stood, quietly watching the whole scene, and she gave an exaggerated wink.

      “Don't worry, I'll keep away anything that's not super urgent,” she promised.

      Finally, finally, she met his gaze again. He watched the slow spread of emotion spill over her features, mirroring his own mingled sense of relief and love, and beneath that a bonfire of desire and _need_. As always, the strength of her desire surprised him, but he was perfectly happy to let it consume his thoughts. She broke into a run, as if she couldn't contain herself for even the short distance between them, and he caught her easily, adjusting his grip with a grunt of effort when she wrapped her legs around him.

      His name, whispered reverently just before she kissed him, was the most wonderful sound he'd ever heard. They stayed that way for longer than he intended, but he couldn't bring himself to break away from her, from the frenzied caresses of her lips and tongue, the heat of her body pressed into him, her hands clinging with bruising strength.

      _Rey._

_No, stop. Shut up._

_We have things to-_

_I thought you were dead._

His heart skipped. He had expected some kind of ploy by Hux and he was aware of various methods of disrupting the Force, but he hadn't realized it would affect their bond so completely. He imagined how he would have felt if he hadn't known, if he were twelve hours away with no way of contacting her quickly. He had nearly pounded his fist into a bloody pulp.

      No wonder she had shown not a shred of mercy! He dragged himself away long enough to get a good look at her face. Her eyes were wide and locked on his, absorbing his every slight expression with feverish desperation.

       “Kirin was there. I don't know what would have happened if she wasn't. And Pashi… She got through to Rose as fast as she could.” Her eyes were so wild, so full of affection and possession, fear and contentment. He pressed his forehead against hers.

       “I'm sorry. I didn't know it would cut off the Force bond. I expected Hux to pull something like this, but I… Gods, Rey, I'm so sorry.”

        She captured his mouth again and he staggered slightly.

        “Make it up to me,” she insisted.

        “Now?! What about Phasma? Or the slavers we're trying to catch? Don't you want to know if Dameron is going to be okay?”

        “Phasma and Poe are getting treatment, there's nothing we can do for them now, and we've got a few hours before those bastards show up.” She glared intently as he slowly let her down, latching onto his hand with both of hers and dragging him into the hangar behind them.

        “Where are we going, exactly?”

        “To return the command shuttle to the _Finalizer_ and pick up my ship.”

         Despite himself, he gave a little half-smile.

         “I take it she meets with your approval?”

         “Oh, yes.” A dark, seductive look gleamed in her eyes. “In fact, I'd love to give you a demonstration of my gratitude.”

   

           From the corridor, Pashi watched Master Rey drag her prize off and smirked. She heard boots in the hall behind her, but didn’t turn. She knew it was Finn, Stormtroopers never moved around in groups smaller than two.

           “Oh, they get a recreational break, but the rest of us have to be adults?”

           “She thought he was dead,” Pashi’s eyes darted over, gauging his reaction.

           “Is this about their freaky psychic Force-thing?”

          “Really? You're still not over that?” She rolled her eyes, turning around to see what needed to be done that she could conceivably help with. “Rose is here, you know. She came up in Poe’s X-Wing. They’re hiding beneath the _Finalizer,_  although it’s probably time to start phase two of our plan.”

          “Wait, I thought Rey was piloting the X-Wing. Rose is… Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things?”

           “I just did.”

          She glanced at her wrist comm and then headed into the monitoring station off to the side. She’d been intimidated by the unfamiliar Star Destroyer at first, but after a couple of days she realized the controls were color-coded and followed the same standardized patterns across ships. She found the appropriate station and typed in the code for the _Finalizer’s_ bridge. The blue outline of Commander Sloane appeared instantly.

           “Hux has been neutralized and the prisoners are freed. The Supreme Leader and Master Rey are on their way back to you. We’re ready to begin phase two whenever you are.”

           “Excellent. Thank you for the update, Apprentice Pashi.”

           “You’re welcome.”

            Then she typed in some more commands and accessed the bridge control on their own ship, scanning for landing space.

           “There. Hangar one, on the right side, you see it?” She pointed out to Finn.

           She could tell by his stupid frown he didn’t follow. Pashi heaved a sigh. This is why she didn’t like men. They could be so dense sometimes. Even Kylo-Ben, and he was one of the smartest she’d ever encountered. She waited until the X-Wing was in range and signaled it.

          “Rose, I got you some deck space. Sending clearance codes and specifics now.”

          “You know, I’m getting kind of fond of you kids. Any interest in babysitting one day? Kirin was awesome, by the way.”

         “Yeah, great, thanks. One of these days you’re all sending us on a week-long, expenses-paid vacation. And I'm not a great influence for a kid, but Kirin would probably be up for it.”

         She turned around to Finn. He looked stunned.

         “Well?”

        “What? What did she say?”

        She had no patience anymore. She grabbed him with the Force, turned him around, and shoved him out into the hangar.

       “Your girlfriend will be landing over there in about ten minutes. You’ve got an hour and a half until anyone needs you for anything. If you need more of an explanation, I can’t help you, I don’t know how it works that way!”

        He walked away slowly, mumbling to himself about babysitting, but Pashi ignored him. If Rose hadn't told him by now, that was not her problem.

       She turned around and stomped down the hall, in search of the medical facilities instead. Thankfully, Commander Dameron was awake, although not entirely alert given the IV of opioids they had him hooked up to. The medical droid informed her that Phasma was in surgery, and she didn’t really care to know any more, so she didn’t ask. She dragged a flimsy plastic chair across the room so she could sit next to him, and lamented her situation.

    “I know he’s your friend, but that guy’s clueless.”

    “Yeah, well. He’s… Finn’s a good guy. You just gotta give him some time to think.”

    Pashi quirked an eyebrow.

    “Uh, how much time? Because reaction time in combat is pretty important.”

    “Oh, no, his combat reflexes are his best feature.” He paused for a moment as it dawned on him what he’d said, and Pashi dissolved in laughter.

    “Really? His best feature?”

    “I guess… he’s funny, too. And loyal.”

    “Loyal?”

    “Well, not to the First Order, obviously.” She snorted with giggles and he had the grace to look horrified. “Hey, none of this leaves here, kid. I’m in a compromised state!”

    “You’re killing me, Dameron.”

    “I think you should leave, I mean, aren’t you still training to be a Jedi or whatever? What if Rey or Kylo- Kylo-Ben walks in and accuses me of corrupting you?”

    She sobered suddenly.

    “Maybe I should, I’m not doing drills for ten hours because some idiot Rebel got hyped up on painkillers and told the Supreme Leader all my secrets.” She considered it for a moment, then shrugged. “Nah, I’ve got nothing better to do, and I’m already in deep for stealing a TIE to go visit my girlfriend.”

    “That was some serious skill, though. I don’t even know if it’s a punishable offence. Can you punish art?”

    “Oohh, you and I are gonna be good friends, Rebel Man. Think I can try out that fancy X-Wing one day?”

    He cocked his head, considering.

    “Normally I’d say no, but you’re just reckless enough, I think maybe I could trust you. No Solo landing though.”

    “You know they brought it up, right? Rose flew it. Figured if we’re trying to dogfight these slavers into a forced landing, our best pilot ought to have his ship.”

    “Rose flew-” She reached out and patted his hand soothingly.

    “Don’t get your blood pressure up, the important thing is, it’s here.” Pashi took a quick peek at the display console above Poe’s bed. “That thing says you’re stable.”

    “Yeah, so?”

    “So, are you planning to sit this one out, or am I springing you out of jail again?”

    “Pashi, I think you’ve just become my best pal.”

    “Of course I have. Takes one ace to understand another.” She flashed him a grin, then got up from her seat and started rummaging around the medical supply cabinets. “You’re not squeamish, are you?”

    “Not particularly.” He leaned over the bed trying to see what she was doing. “Why?”

    “First thing’s first, we gotta cap that IV. It’s cool, I’ve done it before. Just look over there and talk about your fancy starship.”

    Fortunately, he was true to his word. He didn’t complain or pass out. But when it came to putting weight on his injured leg, he sagged helplessly against Pashi.

    “Sorry, kid, I-”

    But the hybrid girl just gave a slight _tsk_ and reached out to the Force, holding him up as best as she could until they got out the door. Then they both had to stop to breathe.

    “Okay, we’re gonna go in stages.” She told him. _And I better get a kriffing medal._


	17. Because Lightsabers Are Cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yaaassss..... smut!
> 
> Also Apprentice Number Four!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reaaaalllly had to resist the urge to include 'so say we all' at the end of the Oath ;D
> 
> Also, obviously the other three were sworn in by Kylo-Ben, Genji and Kirin when they returned with Rey and Pashi at some point between Taris and the return to the Finalizer. I had intended to include it, just never found a scene that didn't feel too unimmersive. 
> 
> This fic has grown so much, there are so many perspectives and a lot of scenes in my head that I just don't have room for, so I try to pick the most intriguing parts and having Rey swear in the Stormtrooper as they are both feeling nervous and out-of-place seemed like a poignant moment to highlight it.

    They made it to the shuttle, just barely. He had ripped the elastic bands out of Rey’s hair almost immediately, and she was working open his belt while the ship’s ramp lowered. He’d never noticed how annoyingly slow it was, but he solved the problem by hauling her into his arms again and leaping onto it as soon as the doorway was wide enough to climb through. Once they were inside, Rey slammed the locking mechanism, recalling the ramp before it ever touched the deck. It made a weird high-pitched noise, and he glanced over worriedly.

    “Did you break it? Again?”

    “Does it matter?”

     She dropped to her knees before him and he quickly concluded that it didn’t, especially once she dropped his belt to the ground and got her hands on actual skin. When she slipped her mouth around him, he might as well have forgotten his own name. He dug his fingers into her hair, pulling her closer, remembering the last time -

      _I said special occasions!_

_This doesn’t count?_

_I can’t concentrate on anything right now!_

      He closed his eyes and moved his fingers behind her head, and she gave the most beautiful, soft sigh around him, applying her mouth with renewed enthusiasm while he manipulated the Force around her body.

      _More inside._

_You too._

     But instead she stood and slid her clothes off below the waist, kicking her boots off with them so she could wrap her legs around him as he quickly pinned her against the wall. There was a moment of frantic straining and reaching, and then pure, hot bliss as she slid over him. He filled her completely in a few thrusts and he could already feel the fluttering of her muscles around him as she moaned into his neck, her teeth trailing small, sharp marks down his shoulder.

     He moved at a steady pace, afraid if he let himself go as much as he wanted it would be over too quickly for her, but she whined and squeezed her legs around him, begging him to move faster.

    _It’s alright -_ she pressed into his mind and he let her, and it was like coming out of a snowstorm into a heated room. In less than three days, he had forgotten what it was like to have the solid, bright warmth that was uniquely _Rey_ in the corner of his mind.

    Now it flared to life in a staggering blaze, and he felt compelled to reach for her too, burrowing into the comfort of her familiar essence. She sighed again in that same beautiful tone, dragging her mouth back to his, nibbling on his lip before she traced the line of his scar with her tongue. He remembered suddenly and glanced down, his eyes finding the slim, healing burn down her chest. Gently, he pressed his lips to it, as much as he could reach, and he felt her trembling on the edge, her hands and lips suddenly still.

    With that assurance, he let himself go, holding her still with the Force, thrusting wildly while her climax filled his mind and she sobbed and dug her nails into his skin, making loud sounds he knew she would be embarrassed about as soon as it was over.

    _Yes, fuck me as hard as you want, I don’t care._

_It’s… good to know… you’re still my whore…_

_You’re still mine, too._

_Yes._

_I own you?_

“Fuck, Rey, yes! Of course you own me!”

     He growled, sinking his teeth into her neck, slamming into her even when he felt a twinge of pain, holding her still until he was finished, until they both were. He closed his eyes, feeling their lifeforce surround them, reaching out to her there until their essence mingled and reformed.

    “I love you,” he murmured into her hair, his thumb stroking her thigh absently. “I've been yours since you marked me.”

    “I thought I lost you,” her voice cracked with emotion. “It was so awful… I’ve never wanted to die before.”

    “You won’t get rid of me that easily. I promise.”

    He kept his tone soft, but inwardly he felt a piercing ache, knowing it had hurt her so badly. He could feel her body slipping, and his own strength would have faded several minutes ago if he hadn’t been using the Force to hold her. But she whined when he tried to pull away, clutching at him with renewed effort. He sighed, letting her have her way for a few moments longer. It was so rare for Rey to whine about anything, he had learned to be patient in this one small quirk of hers and wait for it to pass. In a few minutes, she would get cold and start looking around for something to clean up with anyway.

    Eventually, the message light on the shuttle console started blinking an insistent, urgent red, and she sighed loudly and released him. He had to stifle a laugh when Commander Sloane recoiled in shock at Rey’s irritable, low tone.

    “What?”

    “Ahhh… Forgive me, Master Rey. Your apprentice said you were headed back with the Supreme Leader and I just wanted to -”

    “Yes, we’re on the way!” She wrapped herself in her cloak and dropped into the pilot’s seat, flipping switches and starting up the engines, punctuated by more heavy sighing.

    “Is there a problem, Rey?” Sloane hazarded.

    “No, Ceres, why do you ask?”

    “I… well…” Her tone was skeptical, but her time in the First Order had taught her restraint. “So there’s nothing to worry about?”

    “I said no!”

    She glanced upwards, and Ben realized she could see him snickering in the reflection on the viewport.

    “Why are you laughing!?”

 

“Welcome back, sir.”

      Rey knew she was being completely ridiculous, but she knew better than to try and hide her emotions, especially from Ben. So she crossed her arms and watched impatiently while he talked to his officers and tried to give Sloane a half-smile when the woman glanced over at her. Eventually, when everyone became occupied, she went back to the _Sparrowhawk_ , hoping some meditation practice would ease her dark mood. She was halfway there when she paused, realizing she was being followed.

     The hangar was a bad place for anyone trying to initiate an assault, and she was fairly certain the crew of the _Finalizer_ had seen her in action enough not to try it, but sensing someone trailing her triggered her scavenger reflexes. Luckily, she thought to check with the Force before whipping out her lightsaber.

      “Oh. TL-8456, I'm sorry, but I've got to go over my ship before the fighting starts, I promise we can talk later-”

      “On the flight to the _Absolution,_ you said I didn't have to stay. With the First Order. That I had other options,” the woman paused and removed her helmet. “I won't bother you for long, I just wanted to ask - what do you - you and the Supreme Leader - how do you choose your students?”

       “Well, right now we just kind of… acquire them. Genji’s family knew me and they wanted him to get training, Kirin was a slave so I just kind of… stole her, and Pashi just followed Ben home from Taris. But, I mean, you have to have the Force, obviously.”

        The young woman studied the helmet in her hands anxiously, carefully not looking at Rey. She had sandy blonde hair and light eyes, with prominent cheekbones that might have looked better if her hairstyle wasn't so short, trimmed down close to her skull. She seemed young to Rey, and she wondered what age was considered the line for advancing into the ranks.

         “What if… I do?”

         She looked up at Rey suddenly, as if she expected a negative response. She hadn't intended to carry on a long conversation, but Rey found herself curious. Sloane had personally assigned the Stormtrooper to pilot the TIE that carried her over to the _Absolution,_ and she seemed to have had some reasoning behind it. She jerked her head in the direction she was headed.

         “Talk to me while I work, I could use a distraction right now.”

         “You're worried about the Supreme Leader, aren't you? I thought maybe you were afraid of me, but you're not.”

         “That's very observant. Been a Stormtrooper long, have you?”

        She keyed in the code to the gunship, watching TL look it over appreciatively.

        “No, I'm only seventeen, actually. I just graduated training before the whole _Supremacy_ disaster. I was supposed to be stationed there, actually, but Captain - ah - Commander Sloane - well, she was a captain then - she requested I be transferred here.” She came around the underside of the ship as the stairs came down to rest on the deck. “This is an old Mandalorian model. They don't make them quite like this anymore, most of the major manufacturers switched over to dual-core plasma engines.”

         “Hmm,” was Rey's only response as she climbed the stairs.

         She had to duck back down and beckon to the soldier impatiently before TL followed her aboard.

          _Hello, my most precious lover. Are you busy?_

 _It's okay, I can multitask._ She could tell he was surprised and pleased at her overly-affectionate address, and for a moment she let it flow through her, feeling warmth all the way to her bones. _Am I distracting you? Rey?_

 _No, just multitasking._ She may or may not have been staring off into space for a moment. _I think I may have discovered another apprentice._

 _How…?_ She felt him glean the knowledge from her surface thoughts. _A Stormtrooper? That's interesting._

_Thought you might like to listen._

_I'll try as much as I can._

        “Alright,” Rey addressed the woman, hauling back the maintenance haft in the cargo bay to access the ship’s targeting system. She had noticed it lagging slightly on the flight up and wanted to see if she could tune it for better lock-on. She left TL with a bag of tools. “You know what's what in there?”

       “Yeah, most of it.”

       “Good. Now, I know you can sense feelings, tell me what else you can do.”

       “That's… most of it, actually. Oh, and I know when someone's dead. You know, when people go to check the pulse, I never have to. I can tell immediately if my shot was good.”

       “Ever tried to move anything?”

       “No, but… there was a time… I think I stopped Commander Sloane from getting hit by a piece of shrapnel. I'm not really sure, I saw it flying, I could tell it was going to hit, but I was too far to push her out of the way. But, when everything cleared, we were both on the ground and she was safe. She told Phasma I pushed her, but… I don't think I actually touched her at all.”

       “Hmm. Hand me that multitool.”

       “Circuitry or mechanical?”

      She was already holding out the right one when Rey reached for it. She studied the targeting system’s root code. It wasn't as advanced as she had expected, surely there was an update for it by now. She would have to find someone with the right coder though, she doubted the First Order had anything like that. Unless it was still in the tool case. She hadn't bothered to look, her scavenging instincts told her those things almost never came along with a ship after initial retail. Too expensive and easy to fence.

      “You don't see a coding box in there do you?”

     “The yellow thing with buttons?”

     “That's it, yeah.”

     She was shocked to see the woman holding it out, and even more that it was the right kind to be compatible with the ship's systems.

      _Did I tell you how much I love this ship?_

_You did offer to show me how grateful you were._

_I'll work on my meditation skills._

For a second the consoles and wiring and tools faded from her eyes and she had the disorienting view of Vice-Commander Allbright pausing in the middle of some kind of explanation involving an overhead radar console. Ben’s voice sounded through her head as he noisily coughed and pretended to clear his throat. Rey indulged in a private smirk.

       _Would you like a preview?_

_No, please don't, thank you. Are you going to tell TL we’ll train her, or do you just like making people suffer?_

_Only you._

     She wiped her hands on an equally filthy rag and climbed out of the hatch.

     “I've discussed it with the Supreme Leader, and he thinks we can manage another student. There's just one catch.” She immediately regretted trying to joke with the poor woman, seeing her worried expression. “Don't worry, it's not bad. If you're going to join the Knights of Ren, you need a proper name, that's all.”

      “Oh! We heard from Finn that we might be allowed to pick names. Everyone's been talking about it, trying to decide.”

     “So you've already had some time to think on it, then?”

     “Yes! I was thinking Thalia. I saw it on a holo once, some reporter on Coruscant. She had pretty eyes and the way she looked at the recorder was so intense, I thought - that woman isn't afraid of anyone! She was kind of like you, actually, Master Rey.”

     Rey laughed, her dark mood melted away by the woman's bubbly enthusiasm.

     “So is that it, then? Am I your apprentice now?”

     “Not quite.” Rey took a deep breath, feeling Ben watching. She had seen him swear in Genji and Kirin, but found herself oddly nervous about doing it herself.

       _You wanted to be a master._ _Tell her to kneel._

     She repeated the order, watching the soldier drop to one knee on the deck of her ship, her face and manner abruptly solemn.

      _Take out your lightsaber. Hold it out so she can grasp the other end._

Rey followed his instructions, telling Thalia to take the other end. He gave her the words, and she spoke them out loud for the woman to repeat.

    “I, Thalia, pledge my weapons, skills and loyalty to the -”

     _We're still going with that? You're not Kylo anymore._

     _It's historic. Besides, Genji, Kirin and Pashi already swore._

    “- to the Knights of Ren. I vow to honor the Force and uphold the Balance -”

    “- in every way I am able. Should I fail or falter in my duty, I will accept the justice and mercy of my fellow Knights -”

    “- just as I accept the burden of dispensing justice and mercy upon them.”

     “May the Force be with us all.” Rey repeated the last line with her, then offered her hand to help the new student rise. “Welcome, Thalia.”

     “So when do I actually get to carry a lightsaber and all that?”

     Rey sighed.

      _Honestly, why is that always the first question?_

_Because they're cool. Come on, you know you were the same._

_I was not! The lightsaber found me first, anyway. I had nothing to do with it._

_Not at Starkiller. You wanted to kill me, and you wanted Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber to do it._

“You build your own, eventually,” Rey explained. “Sometimes you get lucky and you can train with one for a while, but the Force doesn't seem to like it when you keep using an old one.”

      She took out her lightstaff and demonstrated its double-bladed setting.

      “I rebuilt mine around the broken crystal from Anakin Skywalker’s. I used his at first, I sort of stumbled across it, but… like I said, the Force wants you to build your own.”

      She couldn't help but smile as Thalia examined her weapon.

       _Don't go giving her unreasonable expectations._

_What unreasonable expectations?_

_Don't pretend you don't know._

_I don't know what?_

_Please. I can feel the little girl Rey jumping up and down with excitement every time you hold it. Lightsabers are cool and yours is the coolest._

_Yours is pretty nice. It's very intimidating._

She giggled, watching Thalia execute moves with the single blue end of her weapon, unable to keep the comparisons out of her mind.

        _Are you talking about my sword or my-_

_Both, actually. Let's go with both._

        _Ah, okay, well um… if we're making comparisons…_

        _Please just stop._

        _Yours is still the coolest._

        She could feel the flush spreading across her face and neck and had to distract herself. She switched off her weapon remotely and summoned it back to store it away safely.

        “Come on, Thalia. Let's find you some quarters with the others, shall we? Do you have anything you need to go get?”

        “No, Master Rey. Stormtroopers aren't allowed to have personal items.” She fell into step beside Rey as they walked to the elevator. “But ah… I don't have anything to wear besides my uniform, ma'am.”

        “That's easy enough to fix. We'll stop by the commissary before we go down. Do you have any problem sharing a room with Genji? We've tried to keep Kirin and Pashi separate, Ben thinks it's inappropriate, but we don't really… have much room to talk.”

        “You let your students disobey direct orders?”

        She seemed shocked, and Rey wondered how she would react to Pashi and Kirin. Well, Kirin was impossible to dislike, but Pashi was going to be Pashi whether anyone liked her or not. She turned to meet Thalia in the eye.

        “Look, being an apprentice is not like being a soldier in an army. We do allow our students quite a bit of what you might think of as privileges, but keep in mind, part of using the Force requires instinct and creativity. This is going to be unlike any training you've ever had, and I can't guarantee your previous training will even be of help to you.”

       She watched the woman's face carefully, searching for any signs of fear or regret. She saw some fear, or at least trepidation, but she seemed to understand.

       “I've seen those Twi’lek girls around. The pretty one and the… the loud one.” Rey laughed at her description. “Will I be working with them?”

       “Sometimes. Ben will want to test you before we figure out where to start… This is all new to us, too, okay? He's had more training than anyone alive, but it was all twisted by Snoke. I had two lessons with Master Skywalker and some books I rescued. I don't know what you expect, but the Jedi are dead. The Sith are dead. We're trying to build something new.”

        “Is that what upholding the Balance means? We use the light side and the dark?”

        “That's the idea, yes.”

         “I think it's a noble idea, Master.”

 


	18. Taken...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. I promise there will be vengeance. Oh, will there be vengeance. Just stay with me, cause it's gonna be a while.
> 
> On a side note, who wants to see what happens when you use the dark side to channel Force Empathy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: I'm not joking here. Abduction, victimization of a character, threats of sexual abuse, physical and emotional abuse and enslavement. Not the good kind, the really awful kind. I know, I promised fluff, and I swear there will be vengeance as well as happy endings for those who deserve them. However, it will get worse before it gets better, although there are no actual graphic depictions of rape/noncon, there are threats and multiple close calls as well as copious mentions of slavery and abuse. 
> 
> Most of the plot here on out will focus on hunting down these slaving bastards and stamping out every last vestige of their enterprises, so there will be a lot of graphic violence as well.
> 
> I don't want to catch anyone off guard, so I'll still provide warnings on a per chapter basis, I just want to make it clear again where I'm going with this.

       “They're coming,” Sloane’s voice warned over the comm.

       Pashi glanced out the viewport of her TIE and gave Genji a thumbs up sign. The Wookie warbled in response.

        “Alright kids, don't get jumpy, remember there's a lot more of us than there are of them. As far as they know, it's business as usual, so let's try not to tip them off.”

        Poe's voice was calm, even though she knew he couldn't see a damn thing, hidden on the underside of the Star Destroyer, undetectable to anyone who didn't know what to look for. Pashi and Genji were in TIEs, although once she got Poe up in his cockpit, her body was screaming for rest. She had refused Master Solo’s request for her to swap with Genji, knowing she wouldn't be able to give the ship her best, especially considering the controls were out of reach and she'd be piloting with the Force at least half the time.

        She confessed her reasoning only to him on a private channel. “I hope Poe Dameron knows what you sacrificed so he could sit in his X-Wing and call the shots,” had been his snarky reply. _Oh, he'll know,_ she reassured herself. Helping the Resistance pilot was part of something her father called “building credit.” You never knew when you might need a favor from someone like Poe, so it was worth having him in her debt, she just had to make sure he knew how deep it was.

         The proximity alert in her borrowed TIE interrupted her thoughts, and the first thing she noticed was the bounty hunter’s ship was far larger than she expected, almost the size of a Republic cruiser. It was flanked by two fighters, old Y-Wing relics from the Clone Wars era with newer ordinance tacked on by some uninspired chop shop. She moved her TIE into place behind it with Genji and the ten other TIEs waiting to “escort” them in. Phasma must have been out of surgery, because it was her crisp voice instructing the ship to submit clearance codes. But instead of following instructions to land, the fighters hung back, swiveling around to face the small fleet of TIEs.

            “What the hell?” She murmured, half to herself.

            “Alright, kids, change of plans,” Poe began. “I don't know what tipped them off, but we can't let them escape. Fire as needed, but remember we need at least one of these guys to interrogate. Baasen, Genji, see if you can target the hyperdrive on that cruiser.”

           “Roger that,” Pashi replied with a wicked smile forming on her lips. “These bastards won't even know what hit them.”

           Genji roared an enthusiastic agreement. She moved her tiny fighter to angle above the cruiser, reaching out with the Force to sense her target as she let her eyes unfocus and scan the ship. _There._ She peered at it and frowned.

          “This thing is shielded like a land tank, General! I've got the exterior hyperspace coordinator in sight, but I'm gonna need a hole to fire through.”

          “Okay, all units, focus on getting those shields down!”

          She sensed Genji maneuvering just below her, firing heavily on a generator, and reached out her senses, closing her eyes to scan the cruiser with the Force for even the tiniest opening. She was so focused on targeting, she almost ignored the alarm blaring and flashing around her. Pashi's eyes opened just in time to see both enemy fighters on her tail.

           “What the fuck? Why are they all on me?”

           She had to act fast. They had her flanked for a perfect joint strike, from this close a distance she didn't trust the TIE to pick up speed fast enough to outrun them, so she would have to out fly them instead. Gritting her teeth against the sudden gravitational stress, she yanked back on the steering, careening backwards and passing between them, watching the fired shots meet harmlessly in the space she had occupied.

          She switched the weapons system over to auto-target, letting the computer track the rapidly moving ships, and fired quickly on the left side fighter. Her aim rang true, blasting a chunk out of the enemy's wing, but she would need more than that to take these junkers down. Fortunately, they were slow to turn around, and she made use of it, dropping down below the cruiser to come up on the other side.

           Both fighters were drawing back towards her before she could even try to get a manual lock on the hyperspace hardware.

           “These assholes are really starting to get on my nerves, General,” she growled through the comm to Poe. “I hate to be needy, but I can't defend myself and use my magic powers at the same time.”

          “And here I thought you were an ace pilot!”

          “I am an ace pilot, Dameron, but I'm not an ace Force Knight yet. Completely different skill sets.”

          “Solo doesn't seem to have a problem keeping it together,” he teased. “But I guess that's why you're an apprentice. Okay, I've got them in my sights, kid.”

         “Take the one on your left, I already gave the ugly one a kiss and I'd hate to leave him begging.”

          She switched to manual firing so she could divert to the hyperspace hardware if she got an opening, using the Force to guide her shots. Unfortunately, the Y-Wing pilot was more than a run-of-the-mill rented escort. She cursed as her fire just singed him and he dodged downward, putting the cruiser between them. She had a bad feeling he was about to come around behind her, and she found herself yanking the TIE backward again for distance.

         “Are you sure you don't know these clowns, Pashi? Cause they seem to be holding a grudge.”

         “Never seen them in my life,” she retorted. The fighter did exactly what she'd expected, and even worse, he came out from under the cruiser facing her. “There's twelve other targets here, how would they even recognize me?”

         The bastard fired at her head on, forcing her to keep dodging until she was almost on top of the Star Destroyer. She felt an opportunity and fired, sensing another shot coming from one of the First Order TIEs flying with her. The combined shots seemed to have fried her tormentor’s gravitational matrix, it listed sideways, faltering.

          “Yeah, fuck you buddy.”

          The autotarget locked in, firing again until the ship was in pieces, but her victory was short-lived as the proximity alarm blared at her again. Her Force sense flared, and she barely managed to dodge under the hunter’s cruiser as the other enemy fighter came at her, followed closely by Poe.

           “I've got him,” the Resistance leader assured her. “You focus on the hyperdrive.”

           Free of enemy fire, finally, she was able to get a clean shot at her target, and she kept firing until the shields buckled around it, knocking it offline by allied fire, and was rewarded by a small explosion in the middle of the ship.

           “Hyperdrive down!” She shouted gleefully. But once again, she felt a disturbance around her, moving just in time to avoid the second fighter. “Oy, Dameron, that was close!”

           “I know, these bastards are tough, even in those old Clone War clunkers. I'm on his tail now.”

            Pashi felt her TIE moving suddenly without her direction, and when she panicked and grabbed at the steering, she found it locked. She looked up with wide eyes to see the cruiser directly above her, drawing the little fighter up in a tractor beam.

           She clawed at the comm desperately, but she wasn't sure anyone could hear her. She reached for the Force without any idea what she would do with it, and found herself cut off, the sudden loss just as painful as the first time. Trapped in the cramped TIE, Pashi drew in on herself, clinging to her lightsaber as a last resort. She had faced all sorts of dangers and dilemmas working with her father, but she had never truly been afraid. Kayt Baasen had the luck of a god - or a demon, her mother would say - no matter what happened, she had always felt safe in the knowledge that he would rescue her.

          But her parents weren't here, and she was cut off from the Force senses of her masters and her friends, even her comm didn't register a signal. She activated her wrist unit in the vain hope that it would reach somewhere, unaware of the sudden, desperate tears sliding down her face. _The Red Hand. Slavers trading in Force-sensitives._

         “Help! Anybody, Genji, Poe, Master Solo!” She trembled, alone in the cockpit with the gunner position empty, because she just had to be involved in the fighting. Pashi felt all her bravado slipping away, reminded that she was young and alone with barely any Force training. “Please, someone hear me! I'm caught in the enemy cruiser, all my systems are down! Please! _Help!_ ”

          The hyperdrive was disabled. She had a blaster and a lightsaber. They couldn't get far, Master Solo and Master Rey wouldn't abandon her. Her parents would scour the galaxy, and they had the contacts to track down skin traders. They had run into the Red Hand bastards before. But she wasn't dumb. She knew there were all kinds of terrors to be suffered between capture and rescue. Pashi swallowed. What would the elder Pashi, her resolute Wookie godmother do? Hold her head high, never show them fear.

            She fought, wildly, to the last of her strength. When her blaster was fired out of her hands, she used her lightsaber, praying to the ghost of its previous owner. She was pretty sure she killed at least one of them as she slashed around wildly. But without the Force, she was just a young woman with a laser sword and minimal training against the brute force of a dozen slavers.

          “We're taking fire from the Destroyers!” Someone shouted.

         “Get us out of here, then!” Her eyes traveled to a masked figure who seemed to be giving the orders. _But, the hyperdive.._ He caught her eye with a predatory wink. “Use the backup drive. And get rid of that TIE!”

         The leader collected her lightsaber after they had her in restraints, studying it with mild curiosity. He wore a half mask over his eyes, but she could see his sharpened teeth and pale tan lekku.

         “Never seen a white one before. Got to be worth a fortune. Get us out of here, Nalek!” She glared as he clipped it to his belt. “White laser sword and a Force-using mutt. I guess capturing Kylo Ren was too much to hope for.”

         “Still gonna be a good price,” one of the humans on the crew pointed out. “There's always good money to be had from younger breeders.”

         “Yes…” The Twi’lek forced her face up with his hand under her chin. “How old are you, girl?”

         “Nineteen.”

         “What's your name?”

         “Pashi Baasen.’” She gave her family name, hoping one of the thugs would recognize it, and they did.

         “Wastrel’s get, are you? Let me see your teeth.” He had to force her lips down as she clenched her jaw tight. He gave a derisive snort. “You ever been with a man, half-breed? Don't lie, it'll just be harder on you.”

         “No.” She felt sick to her stomach. _Oh, Kirin._

        She tried to fight them, but the tears came anyway. The leader let go of her and gestured to his men.

        “Lock her up and get her a collar, but keep your filthy hands to yourselves. If you spoil my sale, I'll rip off your jewels myself.”

        He stalked away, leaving her with cruel hands and disgusting commentary. With no other recourse, she closed her eyes and tried to find her center, to retreat within like Kirin and Rey.  She found it got easier with practice.


	19. Sometimes, the Darkness Has Its Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Man, the feels....
> 
> Of course, Poe is taking this very personally, but facing up to Pashi's parents and finding out they have a history with these assholes?
> 
> Fuuuuuuck.
> 
> And Soran is just way past angsty and onto Dexter-level darkness. For some very, very good reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Psychological/emotional abuse, slavery, drugging, mentions of sexual abuse, rape and possible forced pregnancy...
> 
>  
> 
> Once again, I have to give credit for the characters of Kayt Baasen and MDC-13 to my BFF and my spouse, respectively, as the inspiration for this story comes from the current storyline of my Edge of the Empire tabletop game.

 

        “ **NO!** ”

       The voices of General Dameron and Ben Solo sounded together, equally heartsick and enraged as the cruiser blinked out of existence.

       Rey opened herself to him as his rage flooded the bond, drowning the sorrow and horror that threatened to overwhelm her. She took in Ben’s emotion instead, soaking up his anger to shield herself from the tears of grief threatening to spill down her face. His lightsaber was in his hand suddenly, and she and Commander Sloane watched without interference as he destroyed his command console.

       Several of the bridge officers glanced up at her questioningly, and she gave them a tight shake of her head. He was just reverting to his most dependable coping mechanism, she could sense him beneath it, cooling down, reaching for her to steady him. She tried, but her thoughts were just as tumultuous as his, only her rage burned cold, deep within, a patient and slowly-consuming fury, the perfect opposite to his flaming temper.

       “We're going after them,” Rey stated firmly. Sloane sighed next to her.

       “The First Order’s resources cannot be diverged entirely for one girl who isn't even part of our-”

       “Fine. _Fine,_ ” Ben snapped. “The Knights of Ren will go. We'll take Rey's ship, and whatever assistance the Rebels want to give.”

       “Sir, forgive me, but how long do you estimate it will take for this mission-”

       She was cut off by his fist slamming into black laminate wall a foot away from her face.

       “I don't know!!” He visibly made an effort to calm himself. “Listen, Commander. I’m turning the First Order over to you. To you, and Peavey and Mitaka and the Stormtroopers. I’m not a fool, I know why Hux's coup worked. Nobody here likes me, for good reasons. But they like you, and they're loyal to the First Order. So, as my final act as Supreme Leader, I'm elevating you to Commandant. I hope you can reach an agreement with the Stormtroopers and continue the reforms we talked about. But you don't need me, or anyone else as Supreme Leader.”

       There was a sudden rush of silence on the bridge, every officer turning to stare in dumbfounded shock. Rey stayed still, silent. She could tell he'd been thinking this over for a long time, and suspected it was his intention all along once Hux was eliminated. Leia Organa’s son, bringing peace to the galaxy as best as he could.

       “But… What will you do, sir? Assuming you find the girl and destroy the slavers. Will you come back to us?” Sloane was remarkably calm, only her wide eyes and faintly shallow breathing giving away her shock.

       “No. From now on, the Knights of Ren will be our own organization. There's no room for the Force in government. I hope that you can work out a truce with General Dameron, and continue to be a source of order and justice in the galaxy.”

      Commandant Sloane stared at him, her eyes round as saucers. For once it seemed she wasn't an emotionless robot after all. He paused thoughtfully.

      “Actually… get everything and everyone off the _Absolution._  I'm confiscating it as the flagship of the Knights. Once that's done, you're free to go. Go back to Coruscant, collect the scraps from Jakku, I don't care.”

      “But… Sir. All the… the funding and the First Order worlds. They expect a Supreme Leader -”

      “If you need help negotiating, I'll gladly be there. As a neutral party.”

      “Like the old Jedi,” Rey said softly. She hadn't realized she'd spoken out loud until his eyes glanced over to her and he smiled grimly.

      “Not everything they did was sanctimonious and misguided.”

      Sloane licked her chapped lips quickly and adjusted her uniform cap.

      “It's been a pleasure serving under you these last few months, sir. You, too ma'am,” she nodded at Rey. “I hope you find the girl, I really do. If I get any information…”

      “We'll keep communications open. To the First Order, the Resistance and all the rest of the galaxy.”

      He offered Sloane his hand, and she only hesitated a moment before shaking it. Rey gave the officer a quick hug.

       “Are you taking Thalia?” She whispered. Rey nodded as she pulled away. “Thank you. I owe her my life.”

       She turned around, barking orders to the bridge, organizing the reallocation of personnel and resources. Rey listened for a moment, before turning to see Ben staring broodingly out at the hangar.

      “We can't wait,” she began.

      “I know. We'll take the _Sparrow_ and get Kirin. Genji and Thalia and can come join us once the _Absolution_ is settled.”

      “You can't just expect a Wookie and a single Stormtrooper to manage a whole Destroyer,” Sloane broke in. Ben shrugged, and Rey had a feeling he'd planned this, too, waiting for the right moment.

      “Of course I don't. But you're going to keep the agreement we reached with the Stormtroopers, correct?”

       “Ah, I see. I'll make an announcement. Anyone who wants to swap will have two days to figure out what ship they want to be on when we leave. Is there pay?”

       Rey glanced at Ben. She had no idea how they could possibly afford to pay soldiers and support staff to maintain an entire Star Destroyer. He gave a slight, private smile.

      “Let's say there's a sign-on bonus, upward mobility, permanent berth and board and a couple weeks of leave. I assume you won't be able to consolidate all the TIEs on the _Finalizer?_ ”

      “No, we'd be short about fifty fighters.”

      “First fifty to sign on will get their own fighter.”

      Sloane crossed her arms, beginning to catch on as Rey had a few minutes ago.

      “How long have you been planning this, sir?”

      “Truthfully? When we killed Snoke.” He half-smiled as they both looked at him askance. “I started thinking about it then. I've made a lot of… revisions. At first, I thought we'd have to steal a Star Destroyer.”

       “‘We?’” Rey snapped.

       “Oh, please. You'd follow him through the seven hells and back to Jakku. You were never on our side. We all knew you were just here for him.” Rey felt her eyes might pop out of her head as she turned to look at Sloane, her face burning. The new Commandant of the First Order met her gaze with a slight hint of amusement in her eyes. “I could have done without the little aggressive displays, personally, but it did save us some money on repairs.”

      “I… it… _displays?_ ”

      She wanted to melt into the wall desperately. Instead she just fled to the safety of her ship.

      _Saved money on repairs! Oh, I am going to strangle you, Ben Solo!_

_Oooh, well, if you're offering…_

_You know what? I am. Right after you get on this fucking ship and we set the autopilot for Kashyyyk._

_Oh, fuck. Kirin._

Rey stopped. How could she have forgotten in that short amount of time? Everything had haopened so fast, but... even if it was for one kriffing second, it was inexcusable.

      _We have to go. Now!_

 

     Poe Dameron was waiting for them when they lifted off from the _Finalizer._

     “Rey! Come in! Rey-”

    “We're going after them, Poe.”

    “I knew you wouldn't leave her. We don't need to go back, Chewie's bringing Kirin and Kit on the _Falcon._ ”

    “We? Poe, you can't just blow off the Resistance -”

    “Yeah, actually, I can. Rose and Finn are gonna work out a peace deal with _Commandant_ Ceres Sloane. If the Supreme Leader can walk away, I can, too!” His voice was angry - well, they were all angry. She looked to Ben for help.

     “You ever been to Ord Mantell, Dameron?” He spoke into the receiver.

 _“_ A few times.”

 _“_ Good, that's our best lead.”

     “Hang on… _Ord Mantell?_ ”

     “Maz Kanata said that's where they're based. This is a nasty bunch of skin dealers, they specialize in sensitives…” Rey paused.

      Maz had sent her more information, but she wasn't sure it was a good idea to pass it on. It would just make them that much more miserable and desperate. She could hear Poe's strangled breath, and Ben was gripping the copilot’s chair so hard she was afraid he'd warp the metal.

      “We've got one thing going for us - Pashi's parents are well known there. They've got friends. The hard part is… someone has to tell them.”

     “I'll do it. It's my fault, I gave the orders, I was supposed to be covering her, but my reflexes were scrambled by the pain medicine… this is all my fuck up. I'll pay a visit to Taris.”

     Rey glanced over at Ben, sensing a dark mood come over him, but he was quiet.

     “Thank you, Poe.”

 

       The cell inside the slaver’s ship was dark, the only light from distant stars in the tiny viewport high up on the wall. They gave her a cup of water and a piece of dried meat, but otherwise, after they locked the slim piece of wood around her neck and took a blood sample, she was left alone. So she sat in the middle of the tiny, empty room, legs crossed and eyes closed, trying to empty her mind. She thought it had worked for a minute, then she realized the water was drugged. Pashi smiled thinly. Kayt Baasen’s daughter was not going to lose consciousness after a few drops of Blue Ion spice.

        She drank all the water anyway, knowing the sedative would help her cope. They had taken her supply of stimulants along with the rest of her belongings, including her clothes, and she wasn't sure which was more bothersome. The whole ship was disgustingly dirty, she tried her best not to touch her bare skin to anything more than necessary, but she couldn't stay standing forever. Kneeling and sitting on her heels was the best position she could bring herself to.

        She was beginning to regret taking the sedative after hours and hours of nothing, afraid of drifting off to sleep, which is what usually happened whenever she tried to meditate. Her father had tried teaching her a few things, and so had her cousins, but her brain just didn't have a knack for silence. Being left alone with herself for this long had her yanking on her head tails and chewing off her fingernails.

        Eventually, she got up and paced, first clockwise, then counterclockwise, counting out five circles each. She counted out loud, because the sound was at least slightly reassuring. She attempted to practice lightsaber forms, though without a weapon it was hard to get a feel for anything beyond Form I. Alone on the _Finalizer,_ she had been studying carefully and practicing by herself for the most part, until one of the female Stormtroopers had offered to spar with her. She used a vibroblade, a heavy, intimidating weapon that reminded Pashi of Kylo-Ben’s great fiery saber, though he wielded his with much greater finesse despite the aggressive style.

        One day, Pashi hoped to master Ahsoka Tano’s double-handed Jar’Kai style and win the second lightsaber she knew Master Solo was hiding somewhere. She remembered she didn't even have the first one now, and stopped moving, her hands falling to her sides. It was getting cold inside the cell, and the sweat of her exertion cooled uncomfortably on her exposed skin. She tugged irritably at the cool dark collar and gathered her anger like a blanket, to heat her blood and hold off tears.

          The sound of the steel door opening filled her at once with terror and relief. Terror of the myriad of potential horrors, but a measure of relief she couldn't help feeling at the breaking of unbearable tedium. She faced the door scowling with her arms crossed over her chest. She refused to show fear, or cower, or struggle to hide her body. Their eyes might make her feel filthy, but she knew they had been ordered to keep their hands off of her. She waited, watching the door slide open. She was surprised to see the masked leader, though she tried not to show it.

         “Ah, so brave little Jedi.”

         “I am not a Jedi, skin trader. The Jedi are dead.”

         “Oh, now, where have I heard that before, hmm? Perhaps they are this time, it matters not. Were you training under Kylo Ren? You don't look like a Sith to me.” He paced around her in a circle, but Pashi refused to look, focusing her eyes forward, remaining still.

         “The Sith are dead, too.”

         “Really? Then what are you doing with a lightsaber?”

         “I am a Knight of Ren, in training. My lightsaber was made by Ahsoka Tano. She gave it to Master Solo when she departed this world and merged with the Force.”

         “Oh my, you are quite the catch, aren't you, little girl?” He put his knuckle under her chin and turned her face up, but she looked away, avoiding his disturbing red eyes. She couldn't help the twitching of her lekku when he touched her hip, and she shot him a hateful stare.

         “Master Solo will kill you,” she warned. “If my father doesn't get to you first.”

         “But how will they find me, eh? You don't even know what I look like. You will be led from my ship blindfolded and shackled.”

         He ran his finger between the collar and the skin of her neck, and she unintentionally glanced over in confusion when he touched his fingertip to his tongue. _What in the… You vile son of a bitch!_ He was licking her sweat, and she was glad she didn't eat the food they gave her or she might have been sick all over his shoes. Not that she didn't relish the idea of causing him any kind of discomfort.

         “Oh? What's this, the food did not agree with you?”

          Pashi froze, and her eyes widened unintentionally until she shut them tightly. He was reading her mind. This asshole had Force powers. Of course, she realized. That's how he was able to locate Force-sensitive slaves. If he wanted to read her mind, she was happy to provide him a detailed fantasy of what she would do when she got her lightsaber back. He chuckled softly.

           “Brave and clever, little girl. But I have been in this game a long time.”

           He was touching her again, and she grimaced this time, keeping her eyes closed and focusing on her moment of revenge. _I'll hunt you down, you disgusting demon. You should be so lucky as to be cut down by Master Solo. He might give you a cleaner death._

           “All of these threats I have heard before. But, it is a shame. I was hoping you would be nicer to me, so I could be nice in return.”

           “I wouldn't call it being nice,” she growled, opening her eyes to glare at him. The Twi’lek gave a soft _tsk_ ing noise, his head tail moving in a gently mocking gesture.

           “No, no. You have the wrong idea. Only a fool dips into his own supply.” He drew a nail over her shoulders, along the delicate bones of her clavicle, and she shivered despite her best efforts. “It seems you are cold, child. Perhaps you would like a blanket? I promise I always reward good behavior.”

           “I don't want _anything_ from you!”

           “I think you will change your mind soon. We still have another few days or so of travel ahead of us, and space can be very unwelcoming.”

            She didn't cry until the door shut firmly behind him. As the tears fell, she felt well and truly sick, feverish as if she had caught a seasonal virus. She barely made it to the steel bucket that was the only other thing in the room. It was mostly dry heaves, but between the tears and the sweat and the emptiness of her stomach, she was starting to feel dehydrated.

            Eventually, she settled back into a meditation pose, this time gingerly placing her back to the least-disgusting wall. She told herself it could be worse. It could be much, much worse. Kirin spoke very little about her experiences, but Pashi knew enough. If her gentle, precious love could bear it and survive with her spirit intact, Pashi could find the strength somewhere.

 

            Their silence was more than deafening, it was gut-wrenching.

            Pashi's father stood in front of his liquor collection like there was a potion he could brew to travel back in time. Her mother sat on the couch beside Poe, her slim legs curled up under her body, green-gold eyes regarding him with a mixture of anger and profound exhaustion. He wished she would just punch him, or slap him, or throw him through the window onto the street below.

            “Where is Master Solo, Poe Dameron? He is the one in charge of the training, isn't he?”

           Her voice was soft, with a Rylothian accent her daughter didn't share, but the accusations were there. The one time he wished he could blame it on Kylo Ren, but he couldn't. BB-8 whistled softly in response to the question before Poe could gather himself.

           “Ord Mantell? Why didn't you say that first?” She had jumped to her feet, turning to her partner. “We have to go now, Kayt!”

           Kayt Baasen was slow to move. It was like watching someone sleepwalking as he moved across the room, robotically gathering supplies and stuffing them in a duffel bag. Wastrel watched him for a moment, then sighed and pressed a button on the wrist comm she wore.

         “Medici, will you please come up here?”

         “Regrettably, madam, I cannot tend the bar and come to the apartment at the same time,” the droid replied in its slightly condescending monotone.

         “Oh forget the bar! Let those scoundrels serve themselves, we know who to collect debts from!”

         “Also regrettably, this unit is unable to accept commands from you after you ordered me to throw Master Kayt out of-”

         “Get up here, _now_ , you worthless scrap heap!” Kayt shouted suddenly, his raw voice echoing with emotion, surprising even his.. wife? Partner?

          Honestly, Poe wasn't sure. They lived together and owned a business, and clearly Pashi came from their union, but he wasn't sure if they were even friends given how they fought. BB-8 gave a soft cheeping query, but Poe silenced him, both of them turning at the sound of Baasen’s ancient droid climbing the stairs. He had no idea why anyone would keep one of these things around either, but MDC-13 was something else.

         The droid came in without knocking or announcing itself, which seemed odd when Poe was used to General Leia's Threepio, but he supposed it was a patched up medical droid and not programmed for protocol.

        “I need my weapon,” Baasen grumbled at it, also without preamble. “And the crystals. Both of them.”

        “I don't suppose you would bother to tell me why you wish to relieve me of this burden after all these years?”

       “My daughter.” He didn't elaborate so of course the droid looked around, expecting more details.

        “I would highly advise against giving the bled crystal to Pashi. She is a very reckless young lady, and I would hate for someone to get the wrong idea.”

       Baasen sighed. Wastrel rolled her eyes and slumped back into the couch, as if she were accustomed to these kind of exchanges.

       “It's not for Pashi. Well maybe, but right now I'm swapping it out with my blue one.”

       “Kayt…” Wastrel started to speak up.

       “Yeah, yeah, blah blah the dark side. First impressions matter, and I need to make the right ones. Are you coming, or not?”

       “Someone has to stay here, in case they want a ransom or…” The Twi'lek looked down at her lap. “We'll only fight. It won't help Pashi at all. I'll stay here and try to get in touch with Nyarla or Jade or someone. Are you going to call Soran?”

      “Good idea. On both counts. I'll message him when I get to the _Hawk_ , stars only know what the fuck he's been up to.”

       He leaned over the couch to kiss the top of her head between her gold-adorned head tails.

       “The Red Hand,” she choked out softly.

       “I know.”

       He put a hand on her shoulder and she reached up to cover it with her own, her blue-green skin the same exact shading as her daughter's. It occurred to Poe, watching the two, that they were rather old to have a nineteen-year-old child, and he wondered if she was planned. Probably not, guessing by their unorganized approach to everything else in life. But it would seem they loved their daughter regardless of how they felt about each other, and he was surprised to find such affection coming from two bona fide scoundrels.

      “Bring her home, Kayt.”

      “I will. I won't let you down, I swear it.” His eyes flicked over to Poe. “Are you coming Dameron? Nevermind, that's not a question. You're coming. Follow me.”

      “My X-Wing…” He mumbled as he followed Baasen's quick steps to the landing pad on the roof of the cantina/apartment.

       He stopped when he saw the Corellian freighter, so similar to another freighter of the same model that he was intimately familiar with. Baasen's ship was in somewhat better repair, painted a dark gray instead of white, and sported condensed proton cannons instead of a dedicated gun turret.

      “This is the _Aeonhawk_ ,” he introduced proudly, one cocky pilot to another. “I assume you're pretty familiar with this model.”

       “You assume right…” He stared at the _Aeonhawk_ appreciatively. “No gun turret?”

       “Well, our Wookie is a pacifist and Vasto wasn't the best shot, so it was just taking up space. I swapped it for storage and a faster hyperspace capacitor.”

       He climbed up the ramp, following his droid. It was definitely cleaner than the ship Poe was used to, the floor was actually whitish still and the furnishings were clean and cushioned. Baasen made a gesture to the copilot's seat while the droid began rummaging through the medical bay and canteen area, muttering to itself. BB-8 whined quietly and when MDC-13 turned towards it, it cowered behind Poe. He pushed his friend gently out of the way and sat down.

      “Go on, BB-8,” he encouraged. It was unlike the little ball droid to be so unfriendly, although it could be rather touchy around other droids. “Medici won't hurt you.”

      “I wouldn't be too sure of that,” Kayt advised. BB-8 and Poe both made surprised noises. MDC-13 raised its voice, calling from the medical bay.

      “I would never harm another droid carrying part of my own base code,” it insisted.

      Poe glanced at BB-8, who wobbled its head in a droid version of a shrug. It slowly rolled towards the busy medical droid and whistled an inquiry.

      “I assisted in the creation of the skeptical logic circuits that make you capable of more independent functioning,” Medici clarified. “Once we perfected the code, I had Khawapashi install the hardware chip in my own circuitry. I am surprised, but pleased to find that the chip was copied and distributed so widely, as most users seem to feel it makes their droids too independent and difficult to manage.”

       Poe looked at Baasen with surprise, but the old smuggler just shrugged.

      “He could be telling the truth, I don't know half the things he does.”

      “Isn't he your droid?”

      “No, Medici is Medici’s.” He gestured to the co-pilot's control board. “Are you gonna help, or eavesdrop on droid chatter all day?”

      Right away, Poe noticed an array of controls he was unfamiliar with, the polished metal and colored buttons appearing well-worn instead of completely shabby. As Kayt flipped switches and powered her on, Poe glanced at the astrogation display, already running through potential routes. Why did that system look so familiar? Wait… Pashi. Khawapashi. How had he missed that?

     “Your Wookie… You mean Khawapashi, don’t you?” He gestured to the mapping system. “That's her work. I've seen similar ones on some of the ships on Kashyyyk.”

     Baasen nodded, turning on the ship’s transmitter and dialing up a frequency. He held up his hand to forestall anymore commentary from Poe.

     - In the background, he heard BB-8 asking MDC-13 who he belonged to, and the droid’s acerbic reply - “I _belong_ to the ship, but at the moment it is mutually beneficial to both of us to pretend that I am Kayt Baasen’s droid” - “Because I go where the ship goes, and right now, the ship belongs to Kayt” - “that sounds quite entertaining, how did you get into the ‘walker to begin with?”-

        After a moment, a figure appeared in blue on the console between them, a man around Poe's age, with straight, dark hair and sharp eyes, in the plain boots and long leather jacket that was the uniform of mercenaries everywhere, except his belt had a lightsaber instead of a blaster.

     “Uncle,” he nodded, seemingly uneasy. There was some kind of past between these two, though Poe was pretty sure neither of them would ever tell the tale. “I felt the disturbance. Tell me what happened.”

      Baasen leaned back in his chair, looking directly to Poe. He swallowed. Of course, he was there, it was more efficient for him to tell the story. But there was an edge to this man, a sharpness and intensity that reminded Poe of someone else he found just as unnerving. He sighed.

     “There was a space battle. Hux and Phasma were trying to sell Kylo Ren to slavers called the Red Hand. We thought we could trap them and get information to try and stop their business, but…” he ran a hand through his hair and adjusted the chain around his neck absently. “Pashi got caught in their tractor beam. We thought we had disabled their hyperdrive, but… apparently they had a backup.”

      “Of course they do. Do you have any idea what you're dealing with here? The Red Hand is a highly effective organization. I've been hunting them for years. Or hunting for some of their captives, anyway.” His dark eyes fixed Poe with a wrathful stare perfectly copied off of Kylo Ren. “Now it seems I have another target. Thank you for that.”

       “We don’t really have time for the blame game, Soran. Kylo Ren and Master Rey are a few hours behind them. We need to know where the temple on Ord Mantell is.”

       “Kylo Ren, huh? You'll let Leia's overdramatic whelp train her, but not me?”

       “She stowed away on his ship. You know Pashi. She heard Genji was training with them and suddenly she had to be there too.” Baasen paused. “And you know why Wastrel was so against you.”

        “I did nothing wrong! It's not my fault your daughter chose to share secrets with me that she wasn't comfortable sharing with you! And I got the red kyber crystal from your creepy droid!” He squared his shoulders, trying to control himself. “This isn't helping Pashi. They’ll test her skills. Do a full medical eval. Psychological and physical… ‘training’ to make her more compliant. It’s all done on Dralnu’s cruiser, for the most part. They jump around a lot to randomized locations to avoid detection. After that… depending on what's left of her afterward, they'll probably take her to the Central Temple, although… Maybe not, considering who she is... Pashi's very unusual, so she'll be a valuable asset, but Dralnu's not stupid. They'll want her where their security is tightest.”

        He was quiet for a moment, thinking, his dark eyes glittering with emotion.

        “Do you know if she had any kind of contraceptives? Shots or implants or anything?”

        Kayt cursed and flung himself back in the chair, covering his face with his hands. Poe frowned and leaned forward, addressing Soran.

        “Why does that matter?”

        “Because that's the point of the Red Hand. They don't just collect random slaves. Well, they do, but... Their goal is to breed compliant Force-sensitives to sell to the highest bidder. Conditioned from birth, like Stormtroopers.”

        Poe felt ill. A red mist colored the edges of his surroundings. And then he thought of something else, and panic ignited in his stomach.

       “I don’t think she did. Why would she?” He hoped he wasn't spilling her secrets, but she had been pretty obvious in her pursuit of Kirin. “It's not an issue if she doesn't sleep with men.”

       Kayt looked like he'd been punched in the gut, and the expression that crossed Soran’s blurred features appeared anguished.

       “The Library,” he said quietly. Kayt Baasen nodded, his face haggard.

       “We're going, Soran. If I die, I die trying to save my daughter. Do you know where it is? Did you ever see it?”

       “No.” There was a long pause. “I wish you'd had the same resolve to go after them when they took my mother.”

       “We had to choose you or her.” Kayt lowered his head, his sigh painful. “You know that. I can't go back, and even if I could-”

      “You would still choose me. I know.”

      “Are you going to help?”

      “Of course I'm going to help!” He glowered into the recording device, and Poe was uncomfortable enough to hope he never had to meet the man in person. “I'm not going to hold Pashi accountable for your failures. I just meant… if you had helped more to begin with, maybe we would know where to look!”

       “We'll find her,” Poe insisted adamantly. “The First Order and the Resistance are helping us, and Ben Solo has offered up a lot of money for a bounty.”

        Soran sighed and glanced over to Poe with a look of utter exhaustion.

        “I wish I could have your hope, General Dameron. I've been hunting these bastards for years. They had my mother - I found her eventually, when she wasn't any use to them anymore. Now I hunt the siblings I've never known.”

        There was an unmistakable sound, and a lightsaber sprung to life in the man’s hands. Poe couldn't see it, but he had a feeling it was red. He remembered something Rey had said when he questioned her about Kylo Ren’s war crimes.

_Sometimes, darkness has its place. We've all faced awful things, but when you have the Force, you feel like you can actually face them. That's the power of the dark side. It turns your fear and sorrow into the strength to fight your enemies._

         “Look, I don't know you and you don't know me, so I dunno if I can make you believe me, but… There are eight of us so far, on three ships, and the Knights of Ren are getting ready to take over a Star Destroyer. We're gonna find these sons of bitches, and we won't stop at rescuing just Pashi.” The blue figure looked up, his expression unreadable behind the vibrating light of his weapon. “You're not fighting alone anymore.”

         “I know, General. But, I wish you had been there when they took my mom.”

         “I'm sorry for that,” Poe said sincerely.

         “We need a plan,” Kayt interrupted. “Where's that Star Destroyer? We can rendezvous with the others.”

         “They're on their way to Ord Mantell, I think. Rey got some information from Maz Kanata.”

         “Good,” Soran said quickly. “I'll meet you there. We can at least raid the Central Temple. I know where it is. We'll have to do it quickly, though.”


	20. Masters of the Knights of Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to our Masters Solo and their delightful coping strategies... Cause we all need some relief after the last couple of chapters...
> 
> Oh, yeah, didn't Kirin say something to Sabine about entering other people's dreams?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some nastiness in the middle with a brothel and the tortured women living there. No sexual abuse or rape, but some of the torture methods are graphic and disturbing.

      Rey set the coordinates for hyperspace travel and took a deep breath.

     “It's a two-day jump, Ben. And we're at least three hours behind, and we don't even know if that's where they're taking her!” Once again, she felt her eyes fill with water.

     “Get up,” he said quietly, in a tone of voice she hadn't heard from him in a very long time. Her body responded instantly, despite the protests of her mind, and she knew he'd feel it.

     “No… no, we can't.” 

      She covered her face in her hands, sobbing softly. After a minute, he rose from his seat and knelt beside her, speaking softly despite his commanding tone.

     “Do you feel guilty for losing Pashi?” Gently, but insistently, he pulled her hands away from her face, pressing his lips over the lines of her tears. She nodded slowly while he captured her hands in an iron grip. “Good. Then get up.”

    “Ben… I don't… it feels so wrong…” But she let him pull her to her feet and push her firmly to the back of the ship.

    “It is wrong. But you're doing it anyway, because you're a filthy slut and you can't help yourself.” She gasped at his words, looking up and searching for his eyes finally. He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger, holding her eyes. “There you are. Look at me. Don't think, just let go.”

    He stroked her hair deceptively, his touch soothing until suddenly it wasn't. He latched his fingers through it and dragged her to her knees. She didn't know what else to do, so she let him, her eyes still holding his hard stare. When he looked at her like that she could forget almost anything, her world suddenly narrowed to just him and whatever he wanted from her. 

     “I think you owe me a debt.”

     “I thought the ship was a thank-you present.”

     “I said let go. Don't think. Do as I say.” He forced her head to the side, examining her face. "You're not even crying anymore.”

     He was right, she wasn't. Her eyes dropped to the part of his body near her head, and she was painfully aware of his length expanding beneath his clothes. 

_ Don't think.  _

__ She closed her eyes and wrapped herself around his legs, clasping his thighs with a bruising grip and pressing her face against him. His scent surrounded her, the clean smell of the bright-thorn soap from Kashyyyk and heated metal and his own natural musk. She breathed it in while he stroked her hair again, letting her desire drown out her conscious mind. She had his belt undone quickly, and reached to unbutton his pants when he he batted her hands away. He lifted his boot to her shoulder in an unspoken demand and her eyes narrowed.

     “I am not-”

     “Yes, I think you are.”

     “No. Get your dirty shoe off of me!” 

      She glared at him, purposely pressing him, just as he was pressuring her. Ben used his foot to shove her onto her back, cursing. She lie still as he prowled around her, slowly drawing off his belt. She expected him to bind her hands as he loved to do, but instead he drew it across her face, blindfolding her. 

      She took in a sharp breath. They'd never done this before, Rey wasn't sure she liked where he was going, but he was right, it was an effective distraction. She flinched at the sound of his boots hitting the deck beside her, one right after the other, and then he was on top of her, pinning her beneath his weight.

      “This is the only warning you're going to get. Next time you  _ will _ do as I say.”

      “Or what? I need to know the consequences for the proper incentive.”

      He reached down, and she felt him unfastening her belt, then the distinctive hum of her lightsaber. She struggled beneath him, but he had his heavy knees over her arms, effectively holding her still. Rey recognized the heat against her skin, and the soft hiss and smell of burning fabric. 

      For a moment she whined in discomfort, but Rey was starting to see the point of the blindfold. Everything was better with anticipation. Her breath caught as he reached down and ripped away her tunic and undershirt and chest wrap completely, lifting her to pull the fabric all the way off, using her lightsaber to cut away any extra fabric. She hissed at the cold steel deck against her back.

      Ben moved his mouth down her neck, tracing the thin cauterized scar with his tongue, licking the sweat from between her breasts and down her stomach. She trembled and moaned under him, already wound up tightly, her hips wriggling against him. He moved down to free her arms, slowly unwinding the wrappings and trailing kisses and bites down the length of each arm. She expected it, but she still whimpered softly when he pulled them above her head and bound her with her own wrappings.

    “I was wondering when you'd get to that.”

    “You've got a smart mouth today. Maybe I should tie them tighter.”

    “However you like.” 

     It was difficult to taunt when she couldn't see him, but it wasn't as fun when she was completely docile. There was more rustling of fabric, and she knew he had undressed himself when he straddled her chest, his weight crushing her breasts. She grunted in discomfort, trying to shift into a position she could tolerate.

     “I can't breathe with you on me like that!”

     “Stop. Whining.” His voice was an angry hiss, but he obligingly shifted his weight to his knees. His thumb traced her mouth, and she knew what would follow. “Be good and open your mouth for me.”

      She did, breathing in measured breaths through her nose as he pulled her head down. It was easier to relax with the blindfold, her mind was already half-drowsy, and his groan as she willingly sucked him in fully gave her a thrill of excitement. He grasped her head in his hands and gave gentle, experimental thrusts.

     “Are you alright? Rey?”

_ Yes. Let me in, I want to know - Oh! _

     His mind was already open for her when she reached out, drawing her in.

_ Gods, you're incredible _ .

     It was positively intoxicating to feel what she was doing to him from his perspective, and she applied herself with more effort, drawing back, letting him thrust into her while she sucked on him ferociously. Oh, his sounds, she could listen to him moan her name all night long. But she was starting to worry about the positioning.

_ Don't - don't finish in my mouth. Please. _

_       Where? _

_       Just… on my chest? Is that okay? _

__ He jerked himself back in answer and she felt him moving over her briefly before his hot seed spilled over her. She grimaced, feeling it slowly drip… everywhere… which she could do absolutely nothing about.

      “Ben, if you don't get me a towel and untie me in about five seconds, I am never doing that again. A  _ wet _ towel, please.”

      “I don't even know where anything is on this ship!” She could hear him stumbling around, rifling through storage containers and cursing. 

     “There are like  _ three  _ drawers, it's not a big room!” 

     There was a sound of water running through the compressor and he came back, the brush of Force against her wrists freeing her as he knelt beside her. She shook her head free of the blindfold and snatched up the cloth he offered. She noticed him watching her with his eyes dark and brooding and she stopped to catch his gaze and smiled gently.

      “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to snap, I panicked a little.”

      Relief flooded his features and he leaned in to give her a lingering kiss. She snagged her arms around his neck, dropping the towel on the floor so she could touch his skin with both hands. In standard Ben fashion, he was soon scooping her up and carrying her to the bunks, settling her gently on the mattress and swiftly removing her leggings and underwear. He knelt, lifting her knees over his shoulders, and applied his mouth generously to her wet, swollen pearl. His fingers tickled her entrance until she moaned and rolled her hips against him.

      “Inside, please!” She begged.

      “Be more specific.”

      “I don't care! Your fingers, your cock, the Force, just fuck me with _something!”_ She begged, her voice hoarse with exertion and burning need.

      He stopped, slowly looking up at her with raised eyebrows. She felt a flush creep across her face and chest, embarrassed by her sudden boldness, and he smiled the arrogant little crooked smile that belonged to Han Solo.

       “Close your eyes and don't panic this time.”

       She had a feeling she knew exactly what was coming, and she trembled slightly, trying to decide if she would allow it. The metal was warmer than she expected, and she knew it was hers. Somehow that made the difference. The lightsaber was a part of her, an extension of her own will. She still trembled as he gently pressed the hilt against her.

        “I'm going to paralyze you now so you don't move on accident.”

         She nodded, very slightly.

_ Rey? Am I going too far? _

_ Not quite. Almost. _

         It was just as terrifying as she expected, but there was a deeper feeling beneath it, a rush of adrenaline and the release of pure submission. She breathed shallowly, shocked at his violation of her body and her spirit, and her willingness to permit it. There was something achingly intimate about it, even more than having him in her head and bound to her soul. Beneath her closed eyes a single, warm tear slid down the side of her face, born of a complex emotion she couldn't begin to explain. He saw it and she opened her mind for him completely, offering wordless reassurances. It was too pure, too visceral to speak out loud or even form words in her mind.

_ How can you possibly trust me like this? _

_          Would you trust me? _

_          Yes. _

A feeling of surprise and tenderness filled her heart. There was no hesitation. He saw her complete submission to him as a thing of wonder, but offered up his own as if it were meaningless. He moved his hand, slowly, gently, and she kept her eyes closed, trying to breathe normally. Heat grew in her belly, and she desperately wanted something faster, her moans high-pitched and urgent. He withdrew for a moment and she opened her eyes to see him positioning himself. She gasped and struggled, but he kept his hold over her.

_ “ _ Come for me, Rey. It's okay, you've been so good today.”

__ He left his mind open to her, and she could feel him reveling in their joining, the deep, impossible thrill of having her physically and mentally, completely submissive. His thumb traced firmly over the center of her pleasure and he groaned at the feel of her release building, giving her his sensations in return, finally fucking her the way she really wanted, hard and fast and rough. 

        He released her when her peak rolled through her, rich and nearly painful in intensity, her body seizing and quivering beneath him through multiple waves. She screamed with no need for modesty, and she could feel how it affected him, drawing him to his own climax. They fell together into their shared lifeforce, and afterwards she slipped into an exhausted, dreamless sleep, safe in the fortress of his embrace.

       Kirin was dreaming. She knew it was a dream, because the place looked different than it had when she was there. They had added curtains, and the chains were brushed with gold. She didn't recognize the guards on duty, but she recognized some of the girls. Dark-skinned, lascivious Samra, Teekala the Dathomiri with all her tattoos and piercings and long silver hair. She couldn't believe the woman was still there, she thought Teekala had the strongest will of all the women she had met held captive by the Red Hand. Both women turned, looking at her clearly, and she saw why the Dathomiri woman was still there. Her eyes filled with tears.

      “No,” the woman said firmly. “Do not cry for us. You are free of this place. Erase it from your memory.”

      “No one could ever be free of this place, imbecile,” Samra snapped derisively. “Especially our little jewel. Why do you come, sweet Kirin? I feel a great sorrow upon you.”

       “Oh, my sisters! I thought you would hate me!” She gasped, her eyes moving over the cushions and low couches in the center of the room. There were others, faces old and new, but not the one she was seeking.

        “Hate you? For freeing yourself?” Teekala scoffed. “Anyone of us would have done the same.”

        “Fly away, little jewel,” Samra insisted. “There is nothing for you in this dream.”

        Kirin shook her head sadly, tears spilling down her cheeks.

        “I am here because the Force brought me. My beloved - my passionate, willful Pashi - has been taken by the Red Hand. I don't know what else to do, sisters. I am lost without her.” She dropped to kneel on the floor, sobbing. “I cannot see her broken, her spirit is too strong and free!”

        “If you come here by the will of the Force, then you know what will happen,” Teekala said gently. “The strong-willed break the hardest.”

        “Don't come back, Kirin,” Samra warned. “We are sorry to hear this tale, and we will be gentle to your lover. But you must let her go.”

         “NO!” She shocked herself by slamming her fist into the wooden floor. It splintered, she had accidentally channeled the Force in the grip of her rage and fear, and her sisters stared at her in surprise. “No. I will come for her. I will come for you all. My masters are powerful, they can help-”

          “You are angry,” the Dathomiri observed. She exchanged a speculative glance with Samra.“You love this girl very much, I think. Hold onto your anger. It will be as a shield for one like you.”

          “Who are these masters you speak of?” Samra wanted to know.

          “They are the Knights of Ren. Ben Solo who was once Kylo Ren, grandson of Vader. And Master Rey, the last of the Jedi.”

           Samra and Teekala looked at each other.

           “The fiery sword and the staff of light,” Samra said.

           “Yes.” Teekala turned to Kirin with a thoughtful, but wary expression, the closest thing to actual hope she could manage. “I have envisioned this.”

           “Please tell Pashi I'm coming for her,” Kirin begged. “And the rest of my sisters. My masters will not leave you behind.”

            She awoke with a start, momentarily disoriented, but when she breathed in and let the Force fill her, she found the comforting sun-yellow energy of Chewbacca in the cockpit, conversing quietly with the grey-blue aura of Kit, and the violet-green of Khawapashi in the bunk below her. There was even a faint trace of blue from Chewie's strange droid, although Kirin had never encountered a droid with Force energy before. It had belonged to the Skywalkers though, so maybe it had just absorbed some residual energy from the powerful Jedi.

             Carefully, using a touch of the Force to lighten her steps, she climbed down the ladder to the floor. The motherly Wookie continued snoring, so she slipped out of the berth and into the cockpit, taking a blanket to ward off the cold of space. Kirin did not like space travel, it was cold and empty, but she didn't mind it so much with the Wookies’ solid, vibrant energies around her. She would have come regardlessly, though, would have done anything in her power to get to her beloved. She wished they had a bond like their masters’, so at least she could know Pashi was alive, and tell her they were coming.

         Chewie warbled softly as she made her way into the cockpit, and Kit stood up quickly to offer her his seat. The newly-released Stormtrooper glanced between her and Chewie, then motioned toward the canteen.

        “I was gonna make caf. You guys want some?” Chewie huffed in agreement, and she nodded gratefully, curling up in the co-pilot's chair and looking at the communications devices. When Kit was out of range, she spoke softly to the Wookie.

        “Is there a way I can reach Master Rey's ship, Chewie?”

 

        The blinking red light of the comm board was just visible from the tiny bunk where Ben and Rey lay tangled together. He was pressed against the wall and she was sprawled over him, her upper body resting across his chest with one leg wrapped firmly around his. He had been awake for a while, but he was content to lie still, watching the occasional flutter of her eyelids and smiling at the soft sound of her snoring. But the message alert had been blinking incessantly for a few minutes, and he didn't want to miss something important.

        “Rey.” She was normally a light sleeper, it didn't take much to rouse her. He kissed her eyelids gently as she stirred.

        “Mmm?” 

        The way she looked, waking up in his arms, stole his breath away. That moment when she realized where she was, and met his gaze with her liquid eyes so soft and content, always left him stunned. He had done so many awful things, he'd hurt her, hurt her friends, tried to kill her, brought her to Snoke… He could - and would - spend the rest of his life trying to be worthy of her and never succeed.

       “We have a message,” he pointed, but she was already out of bed, stealing the bedsheet to wrap around her nudity as she rushed to the cockpit and switched on the audio. 

        He followed her quickly when he heard Kirin’s sobbing voice. Rey looked up at him with haunted eyes, silently replaying the message for him to hear. When it was over, he closed his eyes and pulled her into a crushing embrace, stroking her face soothingly.

        “No word from Dameron?” 

        His voice was cold, and it was all he could do to keep the specter of Kylo Ren on a short leash. Rey shook her head against his shoulder silently. Then she pulled away and went to the shower with an armful of clothes, leaving him to decide how to respond to Kirin.

_ You need to talk to her. Now, while I'm not there. _

_          What? Why me? For all she knows I… I have done things just as awful. _

_          Yes. She needs advice, not another person to comfort. You project, remember? Project your anger. Only you understand the kind of darkness she's seen. _

_           You want me to teach  _ Kirin  _ to channel the dark side? _

_           Yes. Think about it. What would Kylo Ren say? _

__ He knew exactly what Kylo Ren would advise. He could still feel the cold, vengeance-hungry ghost of his former self, pacing around in his head like a caged wolf. Kirin’s dream had involved a fiery sword. He took a deep breath. It frightened him more than he cared to admit. But Kylo Ren was a part of him that would not be denied, or buried or ignored. Chained, yes. A kept beast, waiting to be unleashed upon his enemies. Or empathic apprentices incapable of harnessing the power of true anger and hatred. Rey was right. He couldn't really achieve that state with her next to him.

         He typed in the code to signal the  _ Falcon.  _ Unsurprisingly, Chewie answered immediately, and it didn't take long for Kirin to come back to the cockpit. Ben closed his eyes, letting the cold arrogance of Kylo Ren seep into his voice.

          “Kirin. We received your message.”

          “I'm scared, Master.” 

          He had to breathe. It was an impossible task to be cold to the gentle, sensitive Kirin. He reminded himself that she was probably used to cold, arrogant men, and hated himself for it.

          “Fear is a luxury. Do you want to help Pashi?”

          “Yes, Master Solo. I just don't know what what to do!”

          “You have an idea. I can sense it. Stop letting your fear control your actions.” 

          “I… I have to go back there, don't I?”  _ No,  _ he thought.  _ Don't do this. _

          “Your fear makes you  _ weak.  _ You cannot help Pashi if you wear your weakness like a beacon.”

          On the other end, he heard a small sob, and Chewbacca roared at him.

          “No, Chewie, he's right. But I need help to plan.” She paused. “They have a lot of guards, and the whole compound is under a containment shield. And they have these collars that disrupt the Force…”

          “You weren't wearing one when Rey found you.”

          “They knew I wouldn't run. The collars are expensive. They save them for transports, and the most dangerous.”

_ And this is where I go from hate to pure self-loathing. _ He closed his eyes.

          “Why didn't you ever run away?”

          “I had nowhere to go. And my powers were inconsequential, anyway. They used my sisters to control me.”

          “They used your empathy.”

          “Yes. And I… I don't fight, Master Solo.” He gripped the arm of the chair.

          “All power is consequential. Do you hate these people as much as you fear them?”

          He could hear some steel in her voice, finally.

          “Yes. I would happily dance on their graves.”

_ Perfect.  _

__ “Hold on to your hate. Feed it. Imagine what they will do to Pashi. Imagine your captors in their graves. Surround yourself with it.” He paused, knowing Chewie could hear him just as clearly as Kirin. “The other women hate them as well? The Dathomiri woman especially.”

           “Yes. I thought Teekala would have gotten free by now, but… they put rods in her feet. They do that if you run too much. It's not like we ever needed to walk much.” 

_            Rods in their…?  _ A lightsaber was far too good for these monsters. He would personally rip them apart with the Force, one limb at a time, starting with whatever was between their legs. 

         “You will feel their hate. Take it in. Let it grow, until you can feel nothing else. Then you will take their pain - your friends, your own, Pashi's - and you will project. Make them feel it.  _ All _ power is a tool, Kirin.  _ All _ power can be a weapon.”

           She was quiet for a long time, and he wondered if he had misread her. He had thought she was fragile at first, when Rey brought her back, but then she talked about her past, how she had killed a man as a child. Her decision to simply use mind tricks and persuasion on the people who hurt her afterwards because feeling someone die was too painful. 

          There was a strength Kirin possessed that was unfathomable to him, but Rey recognized it because it lived in her, too. The strength to absorb darkness and let it pass through her without losing the spark of light deep inside. He knew Rey could do it, he suspected Kirin could as well.

          “There are other places, Master Ben. I was in a place called the Water Temple on Mandalore when Master Rey found me. Ord Mantell is the… they called it the Central Temple. Pashi's strong. They only keep the strongest there. But it's a risk for them because of her parents, so I doubt she'll be there, but I'm not sure where else to start looking.” Her voice was controlled, a smooth, practiced lack of emotion. Only a step away from the penetrating monotone of her Force persuasion. 

          “Where is the place you dreamed of?”

          “They call it the Library. It's… I don't know where it is. They blindfolded us entering and leaving. It's where they keep their medical facilities. They do a lot of testing before they send you out… But I know they have records in the Central Temple.”

          “Then we're going to the right place. Tell the others, Chewie.”

          The cantankerous Wookie grumbled something about taking orders from him, but he agreed. Ben switched off the transmitter and slumped in his chair. Soft, warm hands caressed his face and threaded into his hair, and he opened his eyes to drag Rey into his lap, needing her closer. She held his head gently against her chest, smoothing his hair out of his face.

           “She's stronger than she seems,” Rey’s voice was as soothing as her touch.

           “I know. I’m not worried about Kirin.”

           “Darkness has its place,” she said softly. “You're stronger than you think, too.”

           He moved his head to look at her, startled to hear  _ Rey _ champion the dark side to him. She gave a little laugh when their eyes met.

           “Have I corrupted you so much?”

           “Despite what everyone seems to think, I am capable of forming my own ideas about things. All you did was show me. I made the decision to come to you.”

           “Because it worked out so well the first time.” He exhaled derisively. Rey’s expression turned thoughtful.

           “Actually, it did. I had it in my mind that if we were together… if we could just talk to each other, maybe I could understand you. And you could understand me.” Her face flushed and she looked away suddenly. “Honestly, I just wanted to see you in person, outside of a vision.”

           “I wanted to see you, too.” He reached out, gently guiding her face back to look at him. Her eyes flickered downward, and he followed the thought to press a few soft kisses over her lips and cheeks. She gave him a slight smirk.

           “I wasn't sure, you know. If you really meant what you said the first time we met. But I was sort of out of options. ”

          “You have no idea how shocked I was to see you. It was foolish, but brave. I was in awe of you,” he sighed, looking into her eyes, seeing the depth of affection he felt reflected back. “I was lost as soon as you got close to me. The only thought I had was  _ how do I make her mine? _ When you stood up to Snoke like that, I felt like such a coward. And then… he  _ hurt _ you. He was right, everything became clear to me then. I knew what I had to do. I was so angry when you wouldn't join me, I didn't understand how you could possibly refuse me after everything. I didn't know what else to offer you, and I was desperate.”

          “Giving me back my lightsaber might have been a better place to start. I didn't want the First Order. I never wanted to rule the galaxy.” She pressed her forehead against his, whispering. “All you had to offer was you.”

          He was dying of heatstroke and she was pure, sparkling water. She had married him, let him mark her, explore her body with his wild desires, and he would never get enough. He claimed her lips and fervently invaded her soft mouth, groaning when she responded with equal intensity, shifting in his lap to straddle him. Her hair was loose and wet and when he threaded his hands through it he was rewarded with her soft, contented sigh. Slowly, she pulled away and got up, while he followed her with his eyes. She rummaged through her belongings and brought out the old Jedi texts.

          “Since we have some time, there's something I wanted to show you.”

          He got up when he saw the book she was thumbing through, frowning when he realized she had marked a page with a hair pin. He peered over her shoulder, trying unsuccessfully to take it out of her hands.

          “Rey, that book is-”

          “ _ The Book of Sorrows. _ I know what it is.” She twisted away from him, deftly avoiding further attempts by him to steal it from her. “I saw this when it fell open at the hotel, but I didn't have a chance to really read it until we went to Kashyyyk. I marked it because it talks about Force bonds, but this ritual is a-”

         Finally, he succeeded by catching her against the canteen table and pinning her with his heavier weight, forcing her forward onto her stomach and reaching over to snatch it while she was otherwise distracted.

         “A marriage ritual. Hmm. So the Jedi weren't always celibate. Maybe you can be one after all.” 

        He kept her pinned down with one hand firmly holding the back of her neck.

        “Are we going to talk or have sex? Because I'm getting mixed signals here.”

        “Why not both?” 

        He slid his hand down and slipped it beneath her clothes, gliding his palm over the small of her back. She struggled, but really only succeeded in rubbing her round bottom against the growing thickness in his pants.

       “Because I just took a shower! Honestly, is your head even capable of thinking about something other than sex and sarcastic commentary?” 

        She twisted her head around, giving him an annoyed glare that he noted only in his peripheral vision while he focused on the book. It wasn't just a marriage ritual, he realized, but actually seemed to be an instructional guide to creating a Force Bond, set into writing by an ancient Jedi.

       “I think about lightsabers and starfighters occasionally.” Rey laughed, struggling to push herself up with her hands. “You're going to have to put more effort into resisting if you want me to believe you.” 

        He shifted slightly until he knew she could feel him, and she was still for a moment, sighing when he leaned over to kiss and nibble on her neck. He laid the book down with the page still marked on the table next to her head, and slipped his free hand around to her front, his fingers gently teasing over her swelling flesh. Rey gasped, and he knew the argument was over. He released her and she wheeled around swiftly, her hands reaching up and pressing down on his bare shoulders while she directed a quick, focused blow of the Force to the inside of his knees.

        He dropped, unresisting, and she freed the bottom half of her body from her clothes, sitting up on the edge of the table. Her eyes were dark and arrogant when he looked up at her, and she closed them when he roughly pushed her legs apart and eagerly responded to her wordless demand.

        “This is me resisting,” she said softly as he wrapped his arms around her thighs.

        “It's a good thing you left the Resistance,” he murmured between wet kisses and nibbles down her thigh. “You're terrible at it.”


	21. The Best Laid Plans...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hey, another of these meetings where everyone antagonizes each other! 
> 
> Except not, because Kirin.
> 
> Rey and Kirin alone on Ord Mantell with some darksider Ben hardly knows? Ugh, cue the angsty bridge pacing!
> 
> Smut at the end, because why not?
> 
> This chapter is long as fuck, but I needed to set up everything that's going to happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's more about the Red Hand here, so more discussions of trafficking, slavery, forced prostitution, underage prostitution...
> 
> On a personal note, I am not condoning or excusing Soran’s interaction with Kirin. But, as a rape survivor myself, I maintain that she has the right to forgive whoever she wants. People are complicated, and both of these characters have no concept of traditional morals. 
> 
> If Ben Solo can be forgiven for all the deaths he's responsible for, if the reformed First Order can overlook the massive destruction of Starkiller and Holdo's lightspeed crash, I don't think it's unbelievable for a slave girl to forgive a man who was once a client.

 

        Kirin had expected to be the first to the meeting room, finding herself unable to sleep and too uncomfortable to prowl the Star Destroyer alone. But there was another woman there already, laying out pitchers of caf and juice and breakfast pastries from a small metal cart. She looked up as Kirin entered, and a flicker of recognition and sympathy crossed her face, although she was certain she'd never seen the woman before. She wasn't wearing a uniform of any kind, dressed simply in close-fitting black with leather armor and a blue leather coat. She strode over immediately and held out her hand.

        “It's Kirin, right?” As soon as she took the woman's handshake, it clicked. She couldn't believe she had been so distracted. Of course she knew this woman! She gave her a timid smile, clasping her much larger hand with both of hers, her bracelets clinking softly.

        “Yes. And you're Thalia, right? Am I pronouncing it correctly? I only read it in Master Rey’s messages.”

        “Yes. Thal-Yuh,” she sounded out the two syllables. “I stole it from a woman on the Holonet. A news reporter from Coruscant.”

        “I like it.” Kirin smiled as she leaned over the little cart, helping Thalia spread out mugs and silverware and plates of food. Mostly pastries and porridge, with smaller bowls of nuts and dried fruit and some kind of pinkish cream she had never seen before. “I thought you seemed familiar. You trained with Pashi once. I'm so glad they gave you guys your freedom.”

        Thalia gave her a strange look. “Freedom?”

        “I was a slave for most of my life, Thalia. They might not call it that, but I know what slavery looks like.” She ticked off the points on her fingers. “Conscripted fighters, no pay, dehumanizing and impersonal uniforms. No personal possessions. Conditioning that sounds suspiciously like brainwashing. And they don’t even give you real names.”

        She sat down at the table and helped herself to a mug of hot tea and some dried fruit. Thalia sat across from her with a cup of caf.

        “You're right, I just never thought of it that way. Conditioning, I guess, although I don't think it worked on me as well as it's supposed to. I never liked it, shooting people, holding them prisoner, setting homes on fire while the family stood outside crying… I always felt so ill afterward. I had to go to the med bay and get nausea medicine, and then they made me go to conditioning again. Hours and hours of sleep deprivation and propaganda. I still have nightmares.”

        She fiddled with her cup, pouring some of the pink cream into it and stirring with a small spoon. Kirin reached across the table and put her hand over Thalia’s.

        “I have nightmares, too. So does Master Solo. And Rey. People think it's lucky, to have the Force. They only see the power. But the universe is not very kind to us.”

        She met the woman’s gray-green eyes, and Thalia smiled, but her face quickly faded to concern.

        “I'm sorry, you have so much going on, I shouldn't be babbling on about my problems when you’ve lost your friend. I trained with her while you were on the mission to Kashyyyk. She was determined to master Ahsoka Tano’s double swords.”

         Kirin smiled, eating dried fruit and nuts one piece at a time from the bowl she held in her hand. She thought about correcting the woman about her relationship to Pashi, but people could get strange about pairings, so she kept it to herself, instead taking the time to study the new apprentice. She wasn't quite a woman, Kirin realized. It actually seemed as though they might be the same age, although Kirin's small stature tended to encourage people to treat her like a child and she couldn't imagine the ex-trooper having that problem.

        “It's nice to have a distraction. How old are you, Thalia? You don't have to say, I'm just being nosy.”

         “It's alright, I don't mind. I'm seventeen.” She stared down into her cup, suddenly shy. “Umm… how old are you? You don't have to say…” she shrugged helplessly, and Kirin laughed.

         “The same age, I think. I'm not really sure when my birthday is, but I just kind of go from the day I was… The day I became a slave. I was six or seven then, and it's been ten years, so…” She shrugged.

         “We should all pick a day and share a cake,” Thalia suggested. “Master Rey doesn't know her birthday either.”

          Kirin smiled, but she knew she wouldn't be able to celebrate anything until her nightbird returned. Suddenly it was back, the gut-wrenching reality of it all swinging into focus, like a heavy door slamming in her mind. She took a deep breath, and they both turned as Master Solo - _Kylo-Ben_ \- stepped through the door, holding it open for Rey to follow.

         She watched them, giving a gentle wave in greeting, as Rey introduced Thalia and Ben responded in his direct, intense way. Kirin was not much of a romantic, she had not really considered that sex could involve willing, enthusiastic participation and she hadn't really understood sharing your life with a person until Pashi came crashing into her life and introduced her to both. But their masters’ relationship was so intriguing, it really was like a novel, the dark prince revitalized by love, setting aside everything to win the hand of the beautiful maiden.

        Only Rey was not the traditional maiden from those stories at all. Kirin thought maybe that's why it all worked. Kylo Ren - even Ben Solo - had probably encountered throngs of beautiful, sensual princesses and clearly wanted nothing to do with them, given that his mother had been one. But Rey was his equal, a fighter to match his skill, shining with the vibrancy of the Force she wielded so effortlessly - oh, there was the bedroom stuff too. That was hard to find, although Pashi had opined they probably stumbled into that. Given the things Master Solo _projected_ , Kirin was absolutely certain neither of them had much previous experience.

        She took a deep breath, and realized Rey was staring at her, and the rest of them had gone silent. Good gods, she was probably asking how Kirin was holding up. She loved Master Rey dearly, but she would rather face Ben Solo’s anger than Rey's compassion right now. It was so hard not to dissolve into tears the second anyone spoke to her.

        “Sorry, Master. Did I miss something?”

        Ben and Rey exchanged a look. Rey deliberately looked away and picked up a pastry to eat.

        “We want to know if you're okay meeting Pashi's family. They docked late last night, but we… didn't want to…” He glanced at Rey intently, and she didn't look up, but stopped eating and stared blankly at her hand.

          Kirin had seen this before. If she reached out, even a little, she could hear a faint whispering, like a holo playing in another room. But it was clearly new to Thalia, she frowned, her gaze flitting back and forth. Kirin caught her eyes and tapped her head discreetly. When the other woman still didn't seem to get it, she gave a quick, hushed explanation.

         “They are bonded so strongly through the Force, they can talk to each other with their thoughts.”

        Thalia gave her an incredulous look. Kirin smiled faintly.

        “That's… huh.” She leaned in closer to Kirin as if a thought had suddenly crossed her mind. “Is that how he got her to turn herself over to him? Did he seduce her with his Force powers? I can tell she's not weak-minded, so he must have been really… convincing.”

        She stared down the table at the former Supreme Leader with a speculative frown. Kirin had to hold her hand over mouth to contain her smile.

       “Doesn't really seem like the type though, does he? I mean, when you think of Kylo Ren, the last thing you'd expect is for him to be a romantic.”

       She couldn't hold it in anymore. She giggled in spite of herself, in spite of everything, and Kirin decided right then that she liked Thalia. She was not a very friendly person by nature - docile, polite, delicate, yes, but Kirin did not actually care to make or maintain friendships. She had cared for her sisters in the Temple, but they had all known better than to get attached. She was learning, slowly, to allow herself to appreciate the company of other people without guarding herself.

       Master Solo’s intense gaze was not something one could endure for long without feeling the heat of it practically incernating your skin, so she looked up sharply. A flicker of emotion crossed his features, and Rey snickered into her second pastry.

       “Well, Kirin? Are you prepared to meet Pashi's father and cousin? Because they're here, and I really think you should talk to Soran. He's got his own history with the Red Hand.”

       “Of course, Master. I am happy to meet with them. Now, if you wish, since it seems this meeting is set up for more people than just us and the Wookies.”

       He picked up his communicator and murmured orders. Across the table, Thalia’s gray-green eyes caught hers, and she smiled and cupped her hand over her lips to whisper.

       “Give it some time. You'll be surprised at how ridiculous they are. Honestly, it's sickening at times.” She made a face, and the new knight's brow furrowed.

       “Why would it be sickening?”

        Kirin shrugged. No doubt she would have plenty of opportunities to observe and make up her own mind. The door opened and Master Solo stood, so Kirin did too. The first person she saw, besides Genji, was Khawapashi, and as soon as the motherly Wookie’s eyes found Kirin's she held out her arms. She couldn't help herself. She ran and buried her face in the soft fur. Immediately, she was lifted into a strong embrace, enveloped in a warm, softly-rumbling blanket, and Kirin was so small she was cocooned completely in the Wookie’s arms.

       The elder Pashi stroked her face gently with the back of a claw, growling in a soft, comforting rumble. Kirin didn't know exactly how to translate the language of growls and roars and soft rumbles, but she had never needed to, her empathy was strong enough to understand the sentiment. She nodded as Khawapashi dried her tears with the smooth fur of a knuckle and gently settled her back on her feet.    

       She turned as the Wookie moved out of the way to introduce an older human man with graying temples, a slightly-crooked nose and Pashi’s dark eyes. They looked natural with his complexion, but the effect was still jarring to Kirin. He held out his hand with a ghost of a smile that seemed like it usually came easily to his face. When she offered her hand in return, he lowered his head to kiss the back of it, instead of shaking, and Kirin felt her own ghostly smile.

      “My dear Kirin,” he released her hand immediately, making it clearly a chaste gesture, and she could see where Pashi got her easy charm. “I am so glad to meet you, though I wish it were under better circumstances.”

     “I feel the same, Mr. Baasen.” He stiffened, and she reached out in concern, wondering how she could possibly have offended him so quickly… ah, of course. “Ahhmm… I’m sorry. It's just Kayt, isn't it?”

      He gave her a sheepish smile, but they were interrupted by Chewie, who bellowed, and also hugged Kirin warmly. Lastly, a black-haired man with startling blue eyes, swirling in dark energy, swept into the room and closed the sliding door. The visceral strength of his energy shocked her, it was different from Master Solo’s, tempered and disciplined, but still firmly on the darker side of the Force. His cool blue eyes swept the room over, pausing to exchange a short nod with Ben before stopping on her. Kirin tilted her head. She felt like she had seen this man before, somewhere, felt that cold, dark aura, and when their eyes met, the memory flooded back.

              _No more than a year ago, although it seemed like a lifetime. The Water Temple was small, but at least she had the little alcove all to herself. She knew immediately he wasn't there for the usual reasons. She hadn't meant to make eye contact, but she had been curious, and the blue eyes and black hair were an unusual combination for a human. At least he didn't seem inclined toward violence._

_“Cienne? No, I don't think - wait. There was a girl, in Ord Mantell. She said her mother was a Jedi.”_

_“What did she look like?”_

_“Long silver hair. Gold eyes. A hybrid. Her father was from Dathomir. She was too strong for the breakers, she escaped and said she was going to join the Nightsisters. I never saw her again.”_

_“The Nightsisters on Dathomir? I hope she made it.”_

_Kirin shrugged. She had no way of knowing if it were true._

_"What was her name? How old was she?”_

_“Stay the night,” Kirin haggled. “You have training. Maybe we can help each other.”_

_“If I stay, I will take what I paid for.”_

_She just looked at him. Was she supposed to object? It's what happened most nights, when she wasn't in training. He was still waiting. She frowned, and reached out with her second senses…_

_“Some Sith you are,” she laughed bitterly. “You pay, and you take. You can be kind if you wish, I would certainly prefer it. But the permission you seek is not mine.”_

_“It should be. Let me show you something.” He reached for her hand and she shook her head._

_“Pay. If you use the Force, you have to pay. Otherwise they'll throw you out and neither of us gets what we're looking for.”_

_He was gentle, he didn't mind that she kept her eyes closed and it was simple and blessedly quick. He spent the rest of the time showing her how she could practice bending people to her will with words. How she was doing it already without realizing, and how to control it and focus._

_For that alone, she would have been grateful. But he paid for the whole night too, even though he only wanted her once, and talked to her as if she were a real person. And after he fell asleep, she looked into his dreams, and found a complicated, haunted psyche just as miserable as she was. She had never thought one of these men who paid for the services of a slave would be so complex and sympathetic._

_She was disappointed that he never came back, but afterward she had practiced her skills, manipulating the Temple's clients at her will, and mining their dreams when they stayed the night. It was that strengthening of her ability that led her to picking up the strange whispers of the ancient books, and she had been able to sense Rey's pure heart and took the chance to escape._

      He jerked his eyes away as if she'd slapped him, but she grabbed his arm quickly, pulling him back.

      “No. You will look me in the eye, and you will sit down and help us. I have mastered the things you showed me. I can _make_ you look at me. I can _make_ you confess your sins in front of everyone here. But, I won't.” She gripped his wrist as tightly as she could. “You were courteous to me. I am only repaying it.”

      He did look at her then, and she could feel his shame and fear. She could imagine what Master Solo would try to do if he found out, and he probably would find out eventually. She met his gaze and sighed.

      “You really are a terrible Sith.”

      “I'm not a Sith anymore than your master. The dark side just comes more easily to me, and I have a red saber because I got it from Kayt’s weird droid.” His eyes searched her. “Fuck! How fucking old are you? You're a _child._ ”

       “No, I'm not,” she said quietly. “Age alone doesn't make you a child. Pashi is though.”

       He shook his head suddenly, and she could feel the Force swirling around him. From the other side of the room, Master Rey and Ben Solo had risen to their feet. Kirin held up a hand to forestall them. There was no reason to attack him. He had, intentionally or not, given her the keys to her cage. Kirin dragged Soran further into the room and pointed to a chair.

       “Sit down. We are here to help Pashi. You're her other cousin? Dark, mysterious, overdramatic?”

       He looked like he might object, and she scowled. Fine. If he wanted to be crucified so badly. Kirin took a deep breath. She thought she could manage, although she'd never targeted so large a group. Master Rey would be the hardest, but she also might be the most understanding, so Kirin decided to just leave her out of it. Instead she gathered the Force to her, using her anger the way Master Solo had encouraged.

      “ _ **You will all sit down and stay seated for the rest of the meeting**.” _

       She caught Rey’s eyes across the room. She had a feeling her master understood exactly what transpired between her and Pashi's cousin. She purposely sat directly across from him, in case he had a flare of guilt and tried to run, or Master Solo decided to attack him. The dark side was so Force-damned selfish.

       She waited for everyone to make introductions, and then she told them about Soran Baasen, about Dralnu’s floating prison, and the training methods and security measures she knew about. Soran added in what he could, filling in gaps with outside information, and no one tried to attack anyone else.

 

         Rey had noticed Kirin speaking to the blue-eyed stranger who had come in the door last, and she felt something pass between them, but she was distracted by Pashi's father. He seemed a little on the older side for a nineteen-year-old daughter, but he was obviously in excellent health, so she assumed he was just the kind of man who charmed around and settled down late.

        He had the jacket, the boots, the smugglers’ wary eyes and charming smile, even the same outdated blaster. And he appeared go be good friends with Khawapashi, even going so far as to inspect Genji’s lightsaber and demonstrate his own weapon. She almost didn't notice the modification to his blaster. She might not have, had he not drawn it and allowed Genji and Thalia to examine it.

         _This is the man who drugged you?_

_Ahhh.... Yes...._

She looked into Ben's pained expression and shook her head slightly, nodding towards the blaster, knowing he would follow her gaze, and the saber geek in him would recognize the hum of a kyber crystal.

         _Is he kidding with that thing?_

_It's a reliable model. The crystal setting is genius, though. And it's removable, how very interesting._

        Rey knew she'd lost him when Kayt activated the slim, red blade, no longer than a child's arm, and thin as a needle. Apparently it could be detached and used like a regular saber too, giving the old smuggler the freedom to use his blaster in the other hand. It seemed a little over the top to her, and she moved on, greeting Khawapashi and Chewie and making introductions all around.

        She noticed the other man, whom she had gathered was Kayt’s nephew, the one Pashi and Genji referred to as their other cousin, staring hard at Kirin. Genji had mentioned that Soran had pursued different paths, and his obsession with the disappearance of his mother, but he hadn't mentioned the _darkness_ swirling around the man.

        And then Kirin grabbed his wrist. Maybe it was because she was looking at them. Maybe Kirin had lost control of her shields, or the dark-haired man was projecting. Either way, she caught enough. And she stared as the girl spoke to him softly, gently, her hand firmly wrapped around his wrist, forcing him into a chair and then turning to the rest of the room.

      Rey only had a second to prepare, but surprisingly, Kirin's mind trick skipped over her. She met the girl's bright eyes, and the stern set of her shoulders told Rey everything she needed to know. Yes, it happened. No, it's not important. And that's exactly how she explained it.

     Predictably, Ben fought against the compulsion. Chewie did too. Genji and Thalia just looked stunned. Kayt was looking around like he really desperately wanted someone else to react, because he didn't have the capacity to do it himself. Kirin deliberately sat down across from Soran, and quietly began to explain the process the Red Hand called “breaking.” Rey had gleaned enough to expect it to be horrid, but she didn't expect it to be so… psychological. Insidious.

Ben had stopped fighting to go after the unfortunate Soran, and was instead listening to Kirin with a growing intensity. She could feel him shifting uncomfortably, his emotions swirling rapidly.

_We're going to find these people, Ben. And we're going to hurt them._

_I know. We will._

     Rey frowned. He seemed distracted, pulling away from her mentally. Something had upset him, and it wasn't just the presence of Soran Baasen. She listened carefully to Kirin.

“They always make it seem like they're just being nice, but they control everything. They turn down the life support functions so it's freezing on the transports. They deliberately feed you salty food and then restrict access to water. They give you blankets dusted with talc, so you want to bathe.” Her purple eyes had adopted a cold, almost emotionless quality that Rey recognized as a pain-numbing technique. Ben called it disassociating, and as a meditation, it could be extremely useful. Memorizing enemy battle plans while appearing unconscious, surviving painful injuries to complete a task, enduring torture…

    Rey knew the skill from her own hopeless, terrifying struggles on Jakku. Clearly Kirin knew through different, but equally terrifying experiences.

“Where do they take you after the transport?” Thalia had asked.

   Rey was glad someone was taking notes. She had her hands full making sure the two dark Force-users didn't go at each other, and the Wookies were just listening quietly, though she noticed Chewie very subtly touch a claw to Khawapashi’s arm and she responded with a soft, reassuring grumble.

   “It depends. If they think you're ready, if you tolerate the breakers on the cruisers, they'll place you directly in a temple. If not they… I'm not sure exactly, I've only heard stories. I was sold on Ord Mantell and went directly to the temple there so I was only on a cruiser for transport when they moved me to Mandalore. But it's better if you yield,” she sighed, and Rey knew she was thinking the same thing.

   Pashi would never yield. She would spit in their faces with her dying breath. Rey swallowed, watching Kirin gather her courage and move on.

   “The difficult ones get… drugs. They want you to get addicted. I knew some girls like that. Boys, too. If they can get a female knocked up quick, they do that. Or they just… hurt you, inside your head, so you're more submissive. They do that to the boys especially."

   “Wait a minute. They hurt you inside your head? Are these slavers Force-users?” Ben had a sudden, attentive glint in his eyes. She could tell he was mulling something over in his head, but he wouldn't let her see.

   “Yes,” Kirin and Soran both responded.

   “They keep some of the kids they kidnap. Bring them into the business,” Soran explained.

    His expression went from stormy to bleak, and Rey noticed Kirin study him curiously. Softly, the girl touched his hand, and he jerked it away.

    “They took you when they took your mom,” she whispered softly.

     He looked around with tormented eyes, and abruptly met Kirin’s, calming under the gentle pressure of her projected empathy. Quickly, he nodded, but said nothing. For a moment, no one spoke, the implication was too much.

    “I was eight,” he finally managed. “He said if I worked for him, he would _consider_ letting her go. I didn't understand that ‘considering’ had no real meaning.”

   “That's… that's…” Thalia couldn't seem to find the words. Rey met Kirin's eye encouragingly.

   “Yes, it's awful and vile and people can be absolute trash,” Rey snapped firmly, a little louder than her usual voice. “Can we postpone the emotional impact until we have an actual plan in place?”

     It seemed to shake everyone back into focus, and Kirin began speaking again, softly.

    “I have to go back,” she stated.

     Predictably, the room was filled with dozens of reason why she shouldn't, she couldn't, it was dangerous, how would they get her out... The Force swelled, and again it seemed Kirin purposely chose to leave Rey out of her scope of influence.

      _" **STOP**!"_

      The effort of performing that trick _twice_ on multiple people, many of whom were Force users, had taken much of the girl's strength, but Rey was still stunned at the display. She noticed Kirin's hands clasped before her to hide their trembling. Instead of addressing any of the multitude of complaints, she turned directly to Soran.

      "We need to get into the Central Temple. You know where it is, and I can... distract everyone inside for at least a limited time. We just need someone who can slice into their systems and find out what we need to know."

        Very hesitantly, he looked up at Kirin from across the table, and their eyes met briefly. Rey was briefly afraid she would use the Forcr again to influence him, but it seemed Kirin's morals stopped just short of actually forcing someone to agree to out themselves in actual danger. Soran took a gulping breath before looking away again, but he nodded.

        "Alright."

        "Now we just need a hacker..." Kirin began.  Rey looked up, right into the burning eyes of Kylo Ren. She sighed and bit her lip.

          _Ben..._

         "No, Rey! Absolutely not!"

         He got to his feet, looking as terrifying as Kylo Ren ever had. His hand on the chair in front of him had curled the metal. Rey face him cooly, her eyes hard and her arms crossed impassively.

           _I am a Master, too. What kind of leader refuses to face the same danger as h_ _er students?_

_You would lead from the front?_

_Yes. I am not Snoke. Or Luke Skywalker._

She had him there. She could still feel his fear and anger, but he was unable to come up with any kind of valid counter argument. 

           "Does anyone else have a better suggestion?" She asked out loud, in case anyone watching was getting uncomfortable with their staring contest.

           Her eyes flitted to Kirin's, warming slightly as she gave a hesitant smile back. Of course there were no other suggestions. Rey had the necessary skills, she was strong in the Force, a competent fighter, and had spent most of her life scrapping on a desert junk heap. Beside Kirin, Thalia spoke hesitantly.

          "Isn't this the perfect mission for Master Rey to lead? Ord Mantell is going to have the same kind of people as Jakku, just more of them." She turned to regard Rey critically. "You can blend in way better than the rest of us, and if it comes to fighting, you're the best besides Master Solo himself."

          "I don't like it," Soran admitted with a bitter frown. "But if you're familiar with scavenging, you'll probably have an easier time than any of these wannabe Imperials. Their systems are mostly old tech, pre-war pieces piled together. Harder to crack because no one uses that stuff anymore, but-"

         "I built my own flight sims from scavenged Imperial parts," Rey explained. Soran nodded. The elder Pashi gave a soft growl and a chuff of inquiry. Rey blinked in surprise, and then it hit her. "The custom hardware and programming on the  _Sparrowhawk!_ That was you?"

         _"I made my fortune in starship system engineering,"_ the Wookie's gray eyes sparkled.  _"And I've dealt with the Red Hand's systems before. Bring me the harddrives and I can mine them for every signle byte of data."_

        "She says she has a program that can mine their hardware for information, if we bring it back," Soran explained. "It'll save us a lot of time if we just grab the stuff Rey thinks we need and get out."

        "No." Kirin stood up, drawing all their attention. "We're not just getting in and out. I want to leave that place in  _flames_."

        No one said anything. They all just stared, until Master Solo nodded once and stood.

        "Good. We'll have the ventral cannons readied. As soon as you give the signal, we'll incinerate the entire compound." He glanced across at Rey, then down to Kirin. "Does anyone have any objections? Or anything else to add?"

        There were no objections when he spoke in that voice, other than Rey's mild disgust that she was in a room full of people whom she really wanted to get out so she could be alone with her  _blatantly furious_ husband.

        "Good. Then this meeting is over."

         _Stay where you are._

_What makes you think you can order me around?_

But she stayed, smiling and nodding as Khawapashi and Thalia spoke their goodbyes, smirking faintly at Kirin's irritated eye roll and swift exit. 

 

        Finally, it was just the two of them in the empty meeting room. Rey watched as he got up and keyed both doors to lock and stay locked against anything but his personal code. Then he threw off his cloak and surprised her by climbing under the table. He didn't speak, even in her mind, as he rapidly yanked her trousers and undershorts down and pushed her legs apart until she was sprawled out before him.

      He leaned in and buried his face there, just breathing her in, until she gave a soft sigh and gently ran her fingers through his hair.

      "Do you provoke me on purpose?" He murmured, finally sliding his tongue out to tease gently at her aching flesh. She whined a little, edging forward in the chair to give him more access.

      "No. But I'm not afraid of you."

       _Not even a little?_

      There was a trace of teeth grazing her most sensitive nerves and she yelped in surprise, hands tugging sharply in his hair. He did it again and she gasped louder, her body's swift, warm response surprising them both.

      _You're so fucking responsive._

_Only for you._

She whimpered as he continued to suck and nibble very gently at her wet, swollen apex, lapping up her fluidmwith his tongue, pushing her thighs as wide as he could and gripping them with bruising strength.

     "Fuck, Ben!" 

      They'd never done something like this, even when she'd locked him in the elevator it was a moremprivately contained space. This was a public space, surrounded by other open use rooms and the comm center. Even though the doors were locked, she knew anyone walking by in the hall outside stood a chance of hearing them. These briefing room walls were paper thin.

       _Yes, I want them to hear. I want you to walk out of here stumbling and flushed and go all the way back to our rooms like that._

_Ben! Some of those people walking around are our students!_

      She tried an failed to choke back a low moan as he slipped two of his long fingers inside her while his tongue still worked at her front. She was embarrassingly close now, and Rey knew he could sense it.

       _So? I saw Kirin fleeing. I don't care about the rest of them._

      Eyes closed, she sobbed under his steady efforts, bracing herself on the metal armrests of her chair while she canted her hips forward, practically riding his face. She felt some dark idea swirl in his mind, but before she could catch it, he withdrew his fingers from inside her and trailed them down...

     "Oh, what - Oh!"

     It wasn't at all unpleasant, really. Just different and somehow she felt more... filled. Just one of hus fingers was a tight fit, even coated in her slick moisture and in her relaxed state.

     _Do you want me to stop?_

_No..._

_Good girl. You'll let me do whatever I want, won't you?_

_I don't know -_ she gasped loudly as he pushed in up to his knuckle -  _fuck, you have long fingers!_

_Just wait until I put my cock in there._

"Absolutely not," she growled.

     _We'll see._

    He adjusted himself on his knees to penetrate her center with his other hand, easily pushing in three fingers and gently curling them against the needy spot deep inside her. Rey sobbed out loud now, beyond her ability to care what anyone heard or saw as he filled her so completely. She felt filthy and shameless and she loved it. And he knew it, too.

     _Yeessss.... keep making noises. I want you come screaming._

 _Gods..._ She panted and felt herself growing boneless, on the very edge. There was a ghost of sensation across her chest, ghost fingers pinching and rolling her nipples. He was using the Force her as well, and she moaned at the idea of him so focused, playing her body like an jnstrument he'd mastered.

    "Ben! Oh, Fuck... Fuck..."

     _Scream for me. My filthy little scavenger wife. Scream._

    She resisted as long as she could, but he got what he wanted. He was too good at manipulating her body, skills he'd honed so quickly in their short time together. Her climax nearly shattered her, wracking her body with hard jerks as he gently wroked his fingers, making sure she crested over and over again until she stopped howling and began to still.

    Rey sighed, relaxing into her chair and slowly regaining her breath, eyes closed as he climbed out from under the table. She looked up when she felt his hands on her, pulling her up over the table. Their eyes met and she gave him an amused smirk.

    "Oh, yes. Fuck me over the table, too."

    "You already screamed for me. I see no reason to stop now."

    "Of course not."

     She sprawled over the cool metal on her stomach, still partly-boneless from the incredible orgasm he'd just drawn from her. He pressed surprisingly tender kisses down her spine, and after he entered her gently, he slid his hand beneath her, cupping her small breasts and sheltering her nipples from the cold metal. She braced them with her thighs flexed against the edge of the table, a feat of strength he seemed surprised by.

     "Rey. I love you so fucking much. Tell me you know that."

     "Of course I know."

    She pushed herself up with her hands, looking back over her shoulder at him. His eyes were closed, his expression impossibly soft as he rocked into her with a slow, sensual rhythm that she found herself suddenly caught up in. Gently, she reached for his mind, and for a moment she felt resistance - then he seemed to just crumble and Rey was shocked to find his turmoil of emotions. She would find out why after, but for now this was soothing him, and she was happy to wrap him with her own warm pleasure.

    "Touch me," she murmured. "Please, I'm almost..."

    "Really?"

     He sensed it in her mind and was quick to oblige, reaching to press his clever fingers in firm circles over her already throbbing pearl of flesh, until her climax rose and she pulled him along with her into the center of the pure lifeforce they shared.

     She held them there for a long time, gently soothing over the raw edges of his emotions, until his whole body shuddered around her and he tugged her up into his arms. He grabbed his cloak and wrapped her in it, then proceeded to carry her back to their quarters, sparing her the torment of facing anyone who might have heard them. Rey was still not entirely comfortable with the way he just swept her up like a loth-kitten and carried her around, but she was getting used to it.

      When they were back in their rooms, after she showered and cleaned up, they curled up on the sofa and he rested with his head in her lap.

      "I'm sorry. I know you can handle this mission, Rey." 

       She said nothing, smoothing her fingers through his hair idly, sensing there was more to his sudden moodiness than her impending danger.

       "When Kirin was talkimg about the Red Hand it... brought back memories." He wrapped one arm around her back, pressing his face against her hip. There were tears, she could feel his shoulders shaking, but Rey decided it was unnecessary to mention it. She rubbed his shoulders gently in a soothing motion.

       "Snoke?" She guessed after a minute. She felt him tense, and then nod. 

       "The way they... make it seem like they're just trying to help. They set you up to need them."

       Rey heaved a sigh.

       "I want to take these people  _down_ , Ben. Pashi is the most important, but once we've got her-"

       "I agree. This is exactly what I meant for the Knights of Ren to do. No government can take them on, because they have to deal with laws and courts. But we are a law unto ourselves-"

       "Knights of the Force, policing our own. I think most governments will understand. No one's going to try standing in our way, at least."

       "Exactly."

 

        

               


	22. Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some character-building and more smut to make up for the next few chapters of plot and icky stuff. 
> 
> The flowers and thorns are a reference to one of my favorite authors Jacqueline Carey, who has some of the most beautifully-written smut scenes in any fantasy series I've ever read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Gratuitous smut with light bondage, more references to Soran’s conflicted history with the slavery and prostitution ring, and some sad lonely droids serving an empty cafeteria.

         There was a lot to do in a short amount of time, but very little of it required Ben’s input, so he spent a large amount of the day training. He practiced with Genji for a while, teaching the Wookie how to use his superior reach and mass in coordination with his strikes, but he was too unnerved to risk sparring with a student.

         Instead, he gave Thalia the second of Ahsoka's lightsabers and set them against each other practicing specific forms. The routine was really too basic for Genji, but the young Wookie was still struggling with the mystical aspects of the Force, and the repetition was a meditation in itself. Thalia was trained in hand-to-hand combat with vibroblades, but the lightsaber was featherlight in comparison and she was struggling with her footing. He was about to leave them to it when he sensed someone else enter, and he whirled when he realized who it was.

           Dark eyes met blue across the room. Vaguely, he was aware of Genji motioning Thalia to a halt. Ben shifted the hilt of his red saber. He had been working with double-handed styles, his body and weapons not really suited to the traditional Jar’Kai style, but there were diagrams in Rey's pilfered books that described a paired lightsaber and traditional dagger blade that he thought suited him, although he failed to see the point of pairing a lightweapon with an inferior metal blade. Still, the style was a useful starting point, although he was still working on adjusting the length of both blades for the greatest effect.

          Besides Rey, he didn't really have a sparring partner to match his skill, so it was difficult to really test his movements. Perhaps this would be a worthwhile opportunity.

          “Solo,” the man nodded slightly, his eyes moving around the room. “Kirin said I could train here if I wanted.”

          “That was remarkably kind of her,” he kept his voice even, but he could feel the dark Force shifting around them, and a hunger for contest he had not felt in years.

         He knew Soran felt it too. Slowly, the other man slid off his long leather jacket and hung it on the wall of hooks at the door, beside Thalia’s dark blue coat and his own hooded cloak. He gestured at the second lightsaber resting on Ben’s hip.

         “I wouldn't expect you to need a second. That thing seems deadly enough on its own.”

        He removed his own weapon, a standard size hilt with unusual, archaic Sith markings.

        “Oddly enough, I've found some use for it. Still working on the pairing, however. Will you do me the favor of a match?”

        He didn't ask the origins of Soran's weapon, filing it away for later, when he had defeated him. If he defeated him. The older man smiled, an honest, guileless excitement crossing his face, before he quickly suppressed it.

        “I assume you are accustomed to the Sith manner of sparing?” He finally ignited his weapon, a long, stable scarlet hue, as they began circling each other. Ben smirked slightly.

        “It's the only way I know.” He drew the smaller green blade and powered it on.

       “Skywalker never taught you?”

        He recognized Soran's tactic. It had been a favorite of his grandfather’s though even Anakin admitted in his own records that Obi-wan Kenobi was the greatest master of combining verbal jabs with physical ones.

        “Forms, yes. Sparring with lit sabers, no.”

        He found himself strangely calm, despite the usual flare of emotion in his chest at the family name. Knowing the tactic for what it was made it simple to ignore.

       “Clearly someone gave you that nasty wound.” He was fast, his testing strike swift, but Ben parried easily with the smaller blade.

       He adjusted his stance to a guard he had been practicing, the larger saber held horizontally across his body while he flipped the small one into a reverse grip. It gave him full coverage of three zones, forcing his opponent to attack with force or attempt to come at him from an odd angle.

       Predictably, Soran concentrated a series of attacks on his left, trying to overcome Ben's guard with speed, rightly assuming that side was weaker. It was, but the other man had to step too far inside of his reach to make a worthwhile strike, giving Ben the option of just dodging half the time without raising his weapon.

        They went on like this for a while, circling, studying each other's style. Ben only attacked once, when he blocked an overhead strike on his left, creating a gap in his opponent’s center, but Soran simply stepped to the side, narrowing his profile behind his blade.

       “You're just as good as I suspected,” he admitted. “Now I'm really curious to know who you lost too.”

       Ben smiled, lunging into an apparent opening, only to find the man slipping away lithely. He was certainly very athletic, and he wielded his blade expertly. It was too bad he used the same overhead grip Rey was partial to and Ben had hours of practice against.

       “Who do you think?” He asked softly. Soran’s brow twitched as he tried again to beat Ben back with a series of quick strikes.

       “You must have really fallen for the girl,” he smirked. “She's nothing special to look at, but I suppose looks aren't everything.”

       He was trying to back him into the wall, Ben realized. And insulting Rey as a distraction. It had almost worked, too, his hackles raised instantly and he was sure some trace of anger flashed in his eyes. He decided to let the man think his tactic was working. People were always more vulnerable when they thought they had the upper hand.

       “Rey is special,” he said heatedly. “In all ways. You just have poor taste.”

       He felt the wall behind him, and he leaned his left shoulder into it, using the extra push to throw all his weight into his fiery blade, swinging up and then down with surprising speed. Soran backed out of the upward stroke, but had no choice but to block on the downward arc, leaving him completely open to Ben's secondary saber.

      In the Sith tradition, Ben could have left Soran a nasty scar, but instead he brought the red blade down until the crossguard cut into his hand, then kicked him ruthlessly in the chest. Soran sailed across the floor, lightsaber powered down and spinning out of his reach. Ben summoned it to him, studying the hilt while the other man panted on the floor, recovering.

      “These are Dathomiri glyphs,” he said, frowning. He offered out his hand, and the other man took it, letting Ben haul him to his feet.

      “Fucking hells, you're as strong as a Wookie,” he laughed, and for the first time, Ben met his gaze clearly, shaking the man's hand. He took back his weapon, thumb caressing the silver glyphs with a familiar fondness.

      “We lived there for a while, my mom and me. I was… I was always drawn to the dark side. My father was older than Kayt, and he died before I was born. The Nightsisters welcomed us. My mom never renounced the light, but she let them train me.” He put the weapon back on his belt. “Dralnu took her, and others, too. He said I could stay and never see them again, or go and work for him. I was a kid. I didn't know what else to do. This hilt was a gift from Mother Talzin. I helped one of her granddaughters escape, and she had it sent to me as a reward. I used it because it reminds me of what I lost… and also what I've gained.”

        Ben was quiet, his head tilted slightly as the man told his story. It was hard to reconcile the frightened eight-year-old, watching his mother taken away by slavers, with the kind of man who had spent the night with an underage girl in a brothel. Who apparently also helped a different girl escape. But Kylo Ren had murdered people, including his own father, and ordered the deaths of probably thousands more. Millions, if you added the Hosnian system, although that had been entirely out of his control.

         Not to mention the times he'd invaded other people's heads, ruthlessly digging for information while they screamed in pain and terror, which if he were completely honest, was a type of rape. It didn't matter that Snoke had done it to him first, or that he had been brainwashed and emotionally-manipulated by the vile monster for over a decade.

        “By the time I finally had a choice,” Soran was saying, “it was too late. I've done… so many awful things.”

        “Yeah, me, too,” Ben agreed. He saw the question in the stormy blue eyes and shrugged. “My salvation came to me. For whatever reason, she decided I was worth it.”

        “Where do I even start?”

        “Kirin seems to have forgiven you. Your uncle doesn't hate you. Start there.” He started to walk out, and paused, turning. “Thank you.”

        “What? Why?”

       “For the match.”

        Soran met his eyes and looked away, nodding. “You could have left a scar. That's the tradition.”

        “It was my prerogative. I chose not to.”

        “Right.”

 

          Rey was waiting for him in the quarters Thalia and the remaining crew of the _Absolution_ had set aside for them. They had added things, small touches that reflected his and Rey's personal tastes, and Rey had done some rearranging of her own. The end result was a place that actually felt like a home, something he couldn't remember having since his early childhood on Chandrila. It felt… odd. But also comforting.

          There was carpet, everywhere, tan and brown and dark blue rugs, hiding the cold floor because Rey liked to be barefoot in her own home. The table and chairs in the front room were carved wood, though he had no idea where they came from. A large glass bowl on the table held sand and water and some kind of floating blue flower that Rey adored. The kitchen had a machine that made caf _and_ tea, and the facilities included a bathtub, which startled him. His own rooms on the _Finalizer_ had been much smaller, but he supposed he hadn't cared enough about the furnishings until Rey was living there with him.

          The table already had food, cold meat and cheese and bread, and Rey curled up on a chair with her feet tucked under her and a blanket over her lap, devouring a sandwich. He still felt the sting in his heart when she looked up, and unrestrained joy glimmered in her eyes. They might still be a little at odds about the planned mission, he knew he had been surly even after he apologized this morning, but she never tried to conceal her affection just because she was upset with him. He kissed the top of her head, noticing the book in her hands.

          “We never did get to the part where you told me your idea,” he started, assembling his own meal. She wrinkled her nose at him. “What?”

        “Aren't you going to shower before you eat?”

         He laughed.

        “I will in a minute. Tell me about the book.”

“Okay, I was thinking… the Force bond is really useful. Even if you cut out the romantic part, hearing each other's thoughts, combining our power, the way we cover each other in battle. And, you know,” she took a bite of her food and continued talking around it, making him curl his lip slightly. “the whole Balance thing is easier when you have someone to ground you.”

        “All of that is true, yes. Can you please not talk with your mouth full?”

        “Sorry,” she swallowed quickly and sipped her tea. “I forget when it's just you.”

        “I know. Go on, please.”

        “Well, I thought with the Knights… If we can create a Force bond… I think Kirin and Pashi would be interested, at least. I was reading about the Clone Wars, and… I don't know if you noticed, but almost all the Jedi traveled with their Padawans. And Ahsoka said she thought turning her back on Anakin is part of what turned him. What if we… they… never had to face anything alone?”

         He leaned forward, gently taking the book from her hand so he could rest his fingers over hers. She looked up, catching his meaning, and smiled at the memory.

        “I think it's an interesting idea. I wonder though… Do you think the attraction would be there, if we didn't have the bond?”

       “Why did you take me from Takodana? Really, why?”

       He swallowed the rest of his food, tilting his head thoughtfully.

       “Because I was accustomed to taking whatever I wanted.”

       “So you wanted me.”

       “Yes.”

       She smirked and nodded.

       “What about you?” He had to know. He'd been wearing his mask when he kidnapped her, and was only compelled to take it off when she lashed out at him and called him a ‘creature in a mask.’ But she had met his gaze in shock when he took it off.

       “I should have been terrified, but… You were not what I expected. Your eyes were so...” She smiled, her expression softening as she studied his face.

       “What about my eyes?” In emphasis, he raised his brows and gave her a wide stare. She giggled, tossing a roll of bread at him, which he caught deftly without any need for the Force.

       “They're beautiful. And they give away your every thought, Ben Solo, so if you want to take me to bed, you'd better get in the shower!”

       He was pleasantly surprised when she joined him a few minutes later, turning a quick chore into a sensual pleasure. Their height difference and the slippery surface made it impractical to do anything serious (not that they hadn't given it a heartfelt try), but there was plenty of kissing and caressing and teasing. When he turned off the water, he simply bundled her up in a towel and carried her to the bedroom, despite her long-suffering sigh.

       Looking at her, naked and wet on the bright blue comforter of their bed, he found his mind drifting into fantasy. He stood over her, letting her see the various thoughts he was considering, letting his eyes caress her body hungrily. A dark, lustful look came into her eyes, and she got to her knees, moving over to his side of the bed and reaching underneath it.

      “After this morning, I almost forgot… I have no idea where it came from, but… Kirin got us a wedding present.”

        It was a small, black lacquer box painted with delicate green vines and tiny purple flowers. As he leaned closer, Ben could see tiny thorns hidden among them as well. It looked like the vine from Kashyyyk that Rey’s favorite tea was made from. He took in a deep breath. Flowers and thorns. He knew what it was. Probably some officer's keepsake purchased on one of the various Core worlds where the craft was more common. He could see it was unused, the seal was unbroken. Carefully, he took it from her, turning it to see the maker's stamp in the wood on the bottom, and sucked in a breath.

      “Ben?”

      Her voice held a faint tremor. Rey wasn't dumb. Even if she'd never seen or heard of such a thing, he was sure she had made a rough guess.

      “Did you open it?”

      “Um.” Her face flushed. “The note said not to.”

      “ _Kirin_ gave you this? Of course she did.” He shook his head. “I've never seen a real one before, just... on certain holos.”

      Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she held out a small envelope. He could feel the key inside when he took it. He shook it into his palm, and laid the box on the corner of the bed.

      “Certain holos? You mean the kind you have to pay extra for that come on late at night?”

      “I wanted to know why Hux's recreational stipend was so high.” He pressed his lips together, wondering if she had ever seen anything like that. Certainly not the ones General Hux paid for. “Ah. Hmm. If you want we can look at some… I don’t really… I'm not exactly well-versed.”

      “That's… We can do that. Later, maybe?” She looked hesitantly intrigued. “I want to see what's in the box.”

      “Do you?” He asked softly, examining the key and the lock carefully.

      A flood of emotion poured from Rey, excitement, apprehension, curiosity and other, darker feelings. She sat up on her knees, watching as he opened it and looked over the contents, careful to keep it hidden.

      “It’s exactly what I think it is, isn't it?”

      He looked up at her, wordlessly brushing against her mind, showing her a preview of images, and she gasped, moving back a little and watching him uncertainly.

      “What do you think it is, Rey? Explain it to me.”

       He wanted to hear her try to frame words around it. She enjoyed their play as much as he did, but she was oddly embarrassed at speaking the words out loud and her trembling, stuttering voice evoked delicious responses from his body.

      “It's, you know, bindings and… toys? For um… bedroom exercises.” Gods, her blush spread all the way down her neck. She watched as he removed a strip of long, dark green silk and approached her.

      “Hands or feet?”

      “What?”

       He dragged the fabric slowly across her shoulders where she knelt in the center of the bed. Rey closed her eyes, revelling in the simple pleasure of the smooth silk over her skin. Her lips parted slightly as she breathed more heavily, and he couldn't help but pull the fabric around her mouth, tugging gently until it was snug between her lips. She whimpered slightly, but didn't really resist.

       _Kind of hard to answer you now._

_You're doing fine._

He removed two more of the long strips and studied her.

      _Hands._ She hummed in displeasure as he pushed her back and pulled her legs wide, binding them to opposite corners of the bed. _I said hands!_

      “You did. I didn't say I would listen.”

       _What if I really don't want this?_

_I can see your thoughts. If you're not enjoying yourself, I'll stop. Or you can make me, if you need to. Just don't wait until you start to panic._

_Last time I panicked it was very... instructive._

_Oh. You could do that, I suppose._

       He took a minute to set the memory aside, as her eyes danced with mischief, completely incongruous above the tight silk gag. She really was fearless. He held her gaze as he drew his fingers lightly up the inside of her thighs, and Rey moaned softly through the fabric, her eyelids fluttering.

"Enjoying yourself so far?"

She sighed.

       _You make it really hard to resist._

“I'd rather you keep struggling. It's lovely to watch. And keep your eyes on me, please. Close them again and I won't be so forgiving.”

       He selected something else and set the box aside, smiling as her eyes followed him curiously. He could tell she wasn't sure of the purpose, and he let her see his intention as he crawled forward between her legs, kissing and tasting his way up. She squirmed as he teased her with the smooth metal, dragging it through her exquisitely displayed center to collect moisture, lightly brushing the round tip against the apex of her pleasure. Her hands reached out for him and he drew back, shaking his head.

     “No. Keep your hands to yourself, unless you want them tied too.”

      _It's cold._

_Oh, of course. I’m so sorry. You hate the cold._

     He slipped the long, rounded piece of metal in his mouth and rolled it around, savoring the taste of her already on it. He caught her eye as he did it, thrilled by her look of surprise mixed with mild disgust.

    _What? You know I like to taste you._

      _It's just… watching you do that is kind of… obscene._

     “So don't watch.”

      _You'll punish me if I don't._

      “But you like to be punished. Look at you. Sprawled out like a whore without a shred of modesty. I could do whatever I want to you. And you'd like it.”

      Her eyes flicked downward for a moment, a second of shame… or a brief speculation. And then they were back on him, burning with challenge. She gave her usual ambivalent response to his assertion.

     _You could try._

     Force help him, he wanted to. He wanted to violate her in every way possible, to mark her and possess her in the darkest ways. And he wanted to take her gently, slowly, spreading kisses and tender caresses over her exposed body. Usually, he managed some combination of both.

    She groaned when he pushed the device firmly deep inside of her, and he could feel her panting heavily as he dipped his head to her apex, his tongue exploring until he felt her tense, then lapping in earnest.

    _Is that warm enough for you?_

_Yesss...._

_Do you like it?_

_It's better than the lightsaber._

_We'll save that for special occasions._

_I'd rather have you, though._

_Oh, my impatient little slut! Come for me like a good girl and I'll think about it._

Her moan in response was wild and urgent, and he lifted his head to see her expression clearly as he fucked her with the pleasure toy, increasing the pace. Her eyes were closed, and he couldn't have that. He withdrew and dragged it up to her apex, gently tapping it against her.

     “Rey,” he demanded.

      Her lids shot open quickly, her liquid dark eyes finding his.

      _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't stop._

     “Hmm… I think I'm too lenient with you...”

      He kept his gaze locked on her while he moved his hand, and watched her hips arch when it slid back in, slowly, into the tight opening further down. Rey gasped and held her breath as he eased it in gently, a few centimeters at a time, his gaze locked onto her wide eyes. She fisted her hands in the bed covers and writhed as he moved it lazily, in small motions, cautiously stretching her insides. Her eyes glazed and unfocused, but she managed to keep them open just barely.

     “Do you like this?”

      _I… I'm not sure..._

     “Maybe you should think about it for a while.”

     He removed it completely, then thrust it back a little more roughly, rewarded by her sharp, startled cry. He left it just a few inches inside her and slid his fingers in the wet heat above it, easily fitting two and then three deep within. She sobbed, loud and high-pitched through the silk, her hips moving urgently into his hand. He could tell she was close, and Ben allowed himself a small smile as he purposely dragged it out, watching her twist and moan with need.

_Please, Ben! I need… Please!_

“Please what? Tell me what you want.”

      Even her voice in his mind was deliciously embarrassed, and he loved it. It was so very _Rey_ \- naked, tied down and fervently chasing her pleasure, but somehow still shy around the actual words. Even after he bent her over the conference room table in the middle of the communications floor, she still blushed asking for sex acts safe inside their own bedroom.

      “Tell me! In actual words, Rey!”

       _I want… Will you put your tongue on me again? Please?_

_You only had to ask._

       He was happy to oblige, feeling her climax follow quickly, but he didn't stop. He knew he could entice more from her. Her sounds grew positively feral, and her mind fluttered against his, struggling to form complete thoughts.

       _Oh, gods, Ben. Gods! It's so much._

      He spared a glance upwards and saw her eyes, open but just barely as her head thrashed, making a mess of her hair. He held her apart, pushing his tongue into her heated center. Her next orgasm crashed over them both without warning, staggered waves that seized her body and left her gasping for breath. He reached out and loosened the silk gag with a wave of his hand, feeling her pant and struggle to regain her breath. He gave her a moment to breathe before he went to his knees between her stretched legs, sliding the rod free of her body, his hands gliding over her thighs and hips with a softer, soothing touch.

     “Fucking stars, Ben," she panted, voice hoarse from moaning.

      Her eyes had regained focus, warm and intent on him, though she still breathed heavily. He looked her over and smiled, inordinately pleased with himself.

     “I love the way you look after I've ravished you.”

     “Ravished me? Do you think you're done then?” She gave him a haughty, demanding look, and he laughed, tightening his hands over her hips.

     “You still want me to fuck you? Haven't you had enough of me today?”

     She opened her mouth, started to answer, then abruptly giggled.

    “Umm… yes and no?”

     He pulled her hips up and slid himself inside finally, both of them gasping at the surge of sensation that came with that final, full completion.

    “Definitely not enough,” she whispered.

     Her hands dug into the back of his thighs as he began to rock into her, intending to give her a gentle start, and he couldn't stifle the groan brought on by her touch.

    “Rey! You know the rules about touching!”

    He pulled her hands off and brought them up beside her head, shifting over her so he could hold them down, giving up all pretense of kindness. He pounded into her with intensity he'd wanted in the conference room, nipping at her neck and shoulder, hard bites that she would wear for days, and she hissed in pain and moaned with pleasure. Rey insistently surged up on her arms to lick at her mark, up his chest and shoulder, leaving her own bites. He caught her lips and pressed her down with a deep kiss, roughly moving his tongue through her mouth.

    "Harder," he could barely hear her whisper.

     _"_ Ask louder."

     " _Harder!"_ The demand echoed through his mind as well.

     He pulled away and breathed her name with a strangled cry, sliding his arms underneath her body and crushing her against him. He let her dig her strong hands into his hair, finally, and his eyes watered under her desperate grip. His movement was wild and violent as he felt her interior tighten around him, her body arching into his, and they came together and fell into the light.

      It was still the most exquisite, spiritual experience he had ever known, and he could feel the tears of wonder and joy in her eyes. Even without actively using it, the Force hummed around them, whispering and flowing in and around their union like a waterfall of electric warmth.

      She lifted her hand lazily to untie herself, winding her legs over his, trapping him inside her, her fingers threaded through his hair. He pressed his face against her shoulder, inhaling the scent of her damp hair and softly tracing the trail of his mark over her collar bone with soft kisses.

    “I think we should offer it to them,” he murmured, continuing their earlier conversation as they lay, still tangled together. “But I don't want to force it.”

     Her fingers danced over his back, tracing old scars and blemishes like constellations in a chart.

     “No, we won't force it. But if we're going to… I don't know, act as impartial negotiators or hunt down Force-abusing skin traders, we're going to need a hierarchy and a way of… graduating apprentices, I guess. It can't be just you and me making all the decisions from here out…”

     “Hmm.” He sighed into her neck. “That's a lot to figure out. When are you leaving tomorrow?”

     “Early. I want to make planetfall just after sunrise. Early morning is the least active part of the day in a place like that. Hopefully we'll catch a few people off-guard.”

     “I'll try to make a list of ideas for you to shoot down when you get back.” He paused. “Wake me up when you do. I don't care how early it is. I don't like waking up without you.”

    “I know. I don't either.”

  
      Kirin had gone looking for Soran when she felt the… _projecting_ . She couldn't be angry, she was the one who found the box, hidden in the officer's quarters Genji had cleared out to claim for himself. She had put it aside quietly after she recognized it, knowing their masters would probably appreciate the gift. She just hadn't expected to be around when they did.

       She tried to get a mental map of the massive Star Destroyer in her head, but found it completely baffling. So she just walked in another direction, but every hallway seemed to end in a hangar or one of those massive rooms with dozens of consoles and people working at them. And retracing her steps would just take her right back to what she was fleeing. This wasn't Kashyyyk where she could just keep going into the night until her perceptions faded. Maybe she could take the elevator _down._

       She could stand it for a few minutes, it's not like they were doing anything wrong or terrible, she just didn't particularly want to feel Master Solo’s delight in _dominating_ and _possessing_ someone she felt affectionate and protective of. She knew, in a practical sense, because Rey had shared her own very intimate memories, that he wasn't actually doing any of those things, or rather he was only doing them because she allowed it… And that had been very clear, in Rey's memories, that she was powerful enough to free herself and fight him off anytime she wanted, it was just… Kirin couldn't understand why anyone would _want_ to be treated like that, and sensing those feelings from anyone was torturous to her. She clenched her teeth, and waited for the agonizingly slow elevator, hoping against hope that it would be empty.

       Unfortunately, she blundered right into Thalia in her haste.

     “Sorry, I didn't see you,” she murmured, trying to rush by the new apprentice. But of course, it was obvious she was in a disturbed state, and Thalia reacted the way any normal person would.

     “It's alright… Are you okay, Kirin?”

     Wordlessly, she shook her head, again trying to shove past her, but Thalia stepped back instead, giving Kirin room to stand beside her.

     “Were you going down?” She asked, hitting the button in response to Kirin's nod. “I was just going to see if I could raid the cafeteria. I used to work there, before I finished training, so I know where everything is. This Force training is so exhausting, no wonder Genji eats like five times a day. And Master Rey, I could never understand how she stayed so trim, if I ate like that I'd be a Hutt in a week.”

    Kirin actually laughed, finding herself grateful for the distraction.

    “You should see Kylo-Ben eat. I think the three of them could polish off a tauntaun amd fight over the bones.” Thalia’s laughter was full and unrestrained, but she halted suddenly and gave Kirin a startled look.

    “Kylo-Ben?” She whispered, as if he might overhear her somehow, even though Kirin knew for a fact he was _quite_ occupied at the moment. She remembered that Thalia had been a Stormtrooper, and probably lived in fear of him for too long to just shrug it off. She gave a small, secret smile.

   “Pashi started it. We don't call him that to his face, obviously.”

   “Oh, right, of course.”

“And I happen to know, the former Supreme Leader is attending to some important matters in his quarters right now. Very important matters.”

     She glanced sidelong at Thalia, who caught her eye and froze, her expression going from patently oblivious to outright horror, followed by a wide-eyed assessment of Kirin.

   “‘In his quarters’? With Master Rey? How do you know what they… that they're… why would you..? I don't want to think about that!”

    “I don't either, trust me! I didn't ask to be cursed with Force-empathy, it's is not a fun talent to wrestle with.” She put her hand on the new apprentice’s arm and deftly encouraged her to continue off the elevator when it stopped. “You mentioned raiding the cafeteria?”

     “Oh, yeah, well, now that there's no clear hierarchy and we're running at a reduced capacity, obviously someone needs to make an inventory of our supplies, and food is the second most important, so I thought I'd start there,” she rambled on, leading Kirin down a long, mostly empty hallway that took them a good, long distance from the officer's residential quarters. Kirin listened intently, grateful for the distraction, although the daily operation of a Star Destroyer wasn't exactly a topic she had much knowledge on.

     “Hold on, what did you say about hierarchy?”

     “Well, I mean… we've got about four-thousand people, mostly ex-troopers, but a good portion of the bridge and engineering team stayed on as well, and these Destroyers are meant to house like a hundred-thousand crew and enlisted, so obviously we need to prioritize functions, reorganize supplies and shuffle around housing quarters so we can shut down the parts of the ship we aren't using. For example,” she gestured as they reached the brightly-lit, empty canteen where serving droids sat motionless behind a line of prepared food, “this particular cafeteria is in the enlisted wing, and practically no one is living down here, so there's no reason to keep power or supplies at this level. However, it is convenient if you want to have a nice, quiet meal away from all the stress and people.”

     She gave a soft smile as Kirin laughed, startled.

     “Were you actually planning to come down here, or did you just read my mind?”

     “A little of both, really. Inventory is boring, but it keeps your hands busy, and when your hands are busy, your brain kind of shuts down. Well, mine does, I don't know about you, but it is quiet and I would appreciate the company.” She paused, giving Kirin a speculative glance. “I think there's chocolate in the bakery compartment.”

      “Silence and chocolate? Did Master Rey tell you how to bribe me?”

      “No, she's pretty good at keeping secrets. Genji is worried about you though.”

      “Oh, that traitorous pile of fur!” But she couldn't help but smile. It reminded her that she wasn't alone in this, she had friends and allies. The Knights of Ren.


	23. The Staff of Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayt Baasen’s droid is seriously creepy.
> 
> Anybody up for some vengeance porn?
> 
> More apprentices, geez. It's like they're collecting them or something. ; p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Gratuitous violence, because screw these guys. References to slavery and prostitution, but it's pretty mild and there's some nice vengeance porn. Also a building gets blown up.

       Alone in the cockpit of a Corellian freighter that was both faster and strangely less responsive than the one he was accustomed to, Poe Dameron was debating various aspects of murder.

        Such as did it still count as murder if it was a droid? A particularly snarky, peculiar and obnoxious ancient relic of a medical droid with so many custom upgrades and bootleg systems it was less a medical droid and more of an… emergency services provider? Was even possible to murder something that wasn't technically alive, and more importantly, did it have backups?

        Beside him, plugged into the co-pilot's console, BB-8 chirped its concern over Poe's morose expression. It would be alright, the little ball droid insisted. The people they were chasing didn't know about the First Order’s active tracking. And they were very close to catching up to them. Just a few more jumps and BB-8 and MDC-13 would be able to define their algorithms and predict the next sequence.

       “Yeah, I know, buddy.”

       “I assure you we have successfully tracked the Red Hand on numerous occasions,” the aforementioned ancient relic intoned from its constant position near the medbay. He exchanged a look with BB-8. “Need I remind you, BB-8, that while you are plugged into the  _ Aeonhawk _ ’s console I have unfiltered access to your communication functions?”

       Poe scrubbed his hands over his face. BB-8 made a similar gesture of slowly moving its viewport back and forth, the single black orb glinting in the direction of the rest of the ship.

       “I am minding my own business,” the other droid responded to whatever BB-8 communicated. “This trip involves the ship and I was given orders by Kayt to assist you in any way possible. Providing moral support for your human worries is a function I am programmed for. Would you like a warm blanket or a sedative, General? Perhaps an alcoholic beverage?”

      “What the hell,” Poe shrugged at the round black orb that regarded him worriedly. “Why not?”

      BB-8 had a lot of reasons why not, and apparently he had gotten over his earlier fear of the medical droid in favor of defending his master from its “unsavory and predatory influence.” The Resistance pilot laughed out loud.

      “Well, I'm flattered you're both so concerned about my well-being. Maybe I'll just take a cup of caf, Medici. If you don't mind.”

      “Of course I mind, do I look like a barista to you?”

      “You just said you're programmed to provide moral support! All I'm asking for is a hot drink!” He got up and stalked into the canteen, leaving BB-8 to take over while they were in hyperspace. “Nevermind, I'll make it myself. You're more useless than Threepio.”

      “I resent that comparison, I am definitely more useful than that polished groupie! For example, I am capable of delivering an electric shock powerful enough to restart the hearts of various types of humanoid beings. I am also fluent in the ancient Sith language, which I know from previous experience C-3PO does not have knowledge of.”

      “Why are you  _ fluent _ in  _ ancient Sith _ ?” Poe stared at the droid in bewilderment while he waited for the machine to make his drink.

      “Regretfully, I am unaware of precisely when I acquired this knowledge. I fear my memory must have been tampered with at some point.”

      “See, that right there. That's creepy.” He pointed a finger at the strange droid. “What kind of droid knows ancient Sith?”

      “I have already informed you, I am a medical droid with added components for navigation and-”

     “Yeah, yeah, I know. Still creepy.”

 

 

      Rey had been right about timing their approach. No one noticed the arrival of the  _ Sparrowhawk _ in the dusty spaceport in the predawn hour. She had borrowed some clothes from Kirin and Pashi's closet, a sleeveless, backless top and a flimsy skirt in a sheer fabric, leaving far more bare skin and uncomfortably accentuating curves she didn't even know she had. Soran had to hold her lightstaff, but it was loosely secured to the back of his belt so she could easily summon it when needed. 

     Once Kirin had approved her appearance and Soran had confirmed the location of the temple, all that was left was for him to escort them there. Rey hated the feel of binders on her wrists more than ever, but they were old-fashioned and not electromagnetic so she could easily break through if she needed to, and Kirin had given her enough room she could probably wriggle out of them even without the Force, which was a relieving thought.

     The city of Ord Mantell was really more of a single, wide street bearing a variety of tourist attractions, shady cantinas and adult establishments with names like “Nebula’s” and “The Executor” complete with neon signs and surprising feats of architecture. The place that looked like half a crashed Star Destroyer was impressive, even if the layout was completely wrong. Rey couldn't help looking around at first, but her sharp eyes quickly picked out the shady, greasy-eyed locals and the shapeless forms in back alleys sleeping off a night of spice-binging.

      It was almost a relief when they reached the street Soran was looking for, and he jerked his head towards a particular building with a black door and painted out windows. Rey noticed the windows looked easily breakable despite the rusty barbed wire, simple enough to climb through if she needed to, and the drop from the upper floor could be mitigated by the bags of trash underneath. As a last resort, anyway, she had no desire to go diving into the dubious piles and wind up pricked by a needle or bitten by whatever rodents scavenged the garbage here.

      Soran gave a coded series of knocks at the door, and they waited long enough for him to start the sequence again before a panel in the top slid back.

     “It's too early,” the voice inside complained. “All the girls are sleeping. Come back after noon.”

     Soran’s hand came up lightning fast to stop the panel from sliding back.

     “I'm not here to buy. I'm here to trade. Soran Baasen. We've had dealings before.”

     “Master Nayaar isn't here,” the guard insisted. 

     Soran made a gesture and stepped back to show Kirin and Rey, both bound. Kirin had to give Rey a quick nudge to remind her to not make eye contact.

      “You know how difficult it is to secure merchandise of the right quality. I don't have enough sedatives to wait all day.”

      The panel slid shut, and the door opened. As soon as they were inside, Rey felt Kirin drawing heavily on the Force. She looked up, catching the man by surprise, and the persuasion was so powerful, Rey had to grab Soran's arm to stop him from complying as well.

**_“You will ALL get on your knees and remain still until we leave,”_ ** Kirin’s voice reverberated firmly. 

      Once again, the Twi’lek had somehow managed to encompass everyone in the room  _ except _ Rey, a trick her master made a note to question her about later. For now, she was too busy watching the five well-armed guards, two beside them at the door, two more just ahead at a heavy durasteel vault with keypad-only access, and one at a set of stairs leading into the upper floor. The doorkeeper had also fallen under Kirin’s spell, dropping with a thump at Rey’s feet.

She wasted no time disposing of the binders, hers and Kirin’s incase the apprentice forgot, then bent down to touch two fingers to the man’s temple. She did not care enough to be gentle, and time was precious, so she bit her tongue to shut up the pesky voice of her conscience and skimmed the man’s thoughts swiftly. Beads of sweat from his forehead stained her fingers, and Rey drew her hand away and wiped it on her slim skirt in disgust.

“The offices are upstairs,” she said, walking forward to look at the keypad. 

    She typed in the code she had taken from the doorkeeper’s mind, and the vault door rolled open slowly, revealing a long, low room filled with sheer curtains and couches. Two more closed doors with keypad entries lay at the far end, but between them Rey counted at least six women, of varying age and species, sitting up from amidst the middle room and eyeing them curiously.

She didn’t have much time to get more than a brief glimpse before four large bodyguards, a human and some other species she couldn’t immediately identify in the dark, withdrew their weapons and stepped forward. From somewhere up above, the glaring tones of an alarm sounded.

Rey summoned her lightstaff while Soran and Kirin shared a look.

“Go, Rey,” Kirin said quickly while the dark-haired man’s lightsaber flared to life before them. “We need the information from their databanks before they destroy it.”

She nodded, turning… and faced the guards from the entry. Apparently some of them had shaken off the powerful force persuasion, and Rey was briefly pressed back-to-back with Kirin and Soran. But only briefly. The lightstaff spun in her hands, Soran moved forward with a yell, and she could feel Kirin’s Force touch reaching out to free the slaves.

Rey hoped the combination of their skills would be enough to overpower all four enemies, but Kirin was right, she had to stick to her part of the mission and trust her apprentice.  _ Apprentices? Hmmm… _ Soran was a little old to be an apprentice, but he could be a Knight. If Ben would tolerate it… She let the thought simmer while she headed up the stairs. 

There was no reason to leave a possible enemy at her comrades’ backs, but Rey felt a stab of regret as her lightstaff sheared through the necks of the men still kneeling. Regret at the necessity, but also at the forces of the universe that gave such places room to thrive and corrupt. She was unable to feel any kind of personal guilt at ending their lives, however. Anyone working here more than deserved such an ending, and though she knew it was the dark side flowing through her as she raced up the stairs and dispatched two more, she seized it and grimly allowed herself to be led, but not controlled.

Kirin was standing in the midst of the temple’s main room, eyeing the assembled seven woman and one teenage boy grimly.

“If you won’t leave, we will have to force you. Please,  _ please _ don’t make me do it. I was like you once. I thought I had nowhere to go, but I was wrong.” She shared a glance with Rey. “I found my place in this universe, and it’s so much more than I ever expected…”

After shooting several glances at Rey and Soran, the boy worked up the courage to edge over and ask:

“Are those lightsabers?”

“Yes.” Rey took hers out and activated both ends, whirling it in a useless but impressive flourish. Soran crossed his arms, watching the young man’s eyes carefully.

    "What's your name?" He asked softly. 

    "Arran. Just Arran."

“When did they take you? Were you with someone? Family?”

    Arran  glanced down, studying his bare feet, a curtain of straight, white-blonde hair covering his face.

“No. I was… My parents sold me when I was a child,” he mumbled.

“Mine too,” Rey said sympathetically. He glanced up at that, a trace of curiosity behind the wide green-gold eyes. “I spent my life scavenging, on Jakku. They left me when I was four or five, I guess. I looked after myself.”

“All your life?” This time he managed to maintain eye contact. Rey shrugged and nodded. “Why’d you leave?”

“I… A lot of things happened at once. I rescued some stranded travelers and they turned out to be Resistance.” She struggled to condense the entire story, still clearly overwhelmed by it herself. “I got caught between them and the First Order and Kylo Ren took me prisoner.”

“Oh, you’re Kylo Ren’s woman!”

At this, some of the others turned to regard her as well, their curious, knowing gazes bringing a flush to Rey’s skin.

“I’m his wife, actually. My name is Rey.”

“He  _ married _ you?” Someone said incredulously. 

Rey closed her eyes, clearly trying to regain her center under the weight of their assumptions. It gave Kirin a chance to interject.

“I lived here for almost ten years,” the apprentice said quietly. She peered at the faces in the darkened room, her eyes catching a familiar eye. “Samra? Where’s Teekala?”

“Pregnant,” the dark-skinned woman replied in a tone of regret. 

     Kirin sucked in a sharp breath as she walked forward. Samra was human, but unusually dark, with a different kind of coarse, fuzzy white hair that she kept cropped close to her skull. Like Kirin, she wore a collection of jewelry, gifts and trinkets from clients who favored her. She had never told anyone where her collection of bracelets and arm and tail bands came from, knowing they wouldn’t understand, but each piece was a memory, some tangible proof that someone out there regarded her as more than just an object.

The woman watched her with wary eyes as Kirin’s gaze traveled over her ornaments. She smiled slightly at a wide band of silver etched with a black design of large, canine creatures, her hand unconsciously stroking a similar piece at the top of her left headtail.

“You caught the wolf prince.”

Samra smiled faintly, shrugging.

“He has a taste for the exotic. I’ve been told I have unusual coloring for a human.”

They shared a sympathetic look - neither of them had enough experience outside the walls of brothels and temples to really know. Samra nodded towards Rey, who was quietly showing her lightweapon to the long-haired boy.

“Teekala’s staff of light?”

Kirin nodded.

“You’re sure?”

“Didn’t you hear her? Kylo Ren is her husband. The staff of light and the fiery sword.”

“I remember.” 

     The woman sighed, looking at the others standing quietly in the dark room. One woman had crept towards the open door, hesitantly, and they watched as Soran backed away, clearly gesturing for her to leave if she wished. She darted out into the street, nimbly stepping over the bodies of the guards outside. Samra redirected her attention to the five women left. 

     "Kyza, Lucien. You should go with the Knights.”

The women she had named both turned, and Kirin realized they were twins. She hadn’t noticed at first, given one had bright purple hair down to the middle of her back and the other a head shaved and decorated with tattoos of swirling blue and green waves. But they had the same bright green eyes that made Kirin think of the lake palace on Naboo.

She stepped forward, offering her hand first to the long-haired girl. They appeared slightly older than Kirin in the dim light, but both were clearly athletic, and without the collars she could sense a strong Force sensitivity in both of them.

“I’m Lucien,” the girl offered, carefully shaking her hand. Her sister came swiftly to her side and Kirin took her hand as well.

“These masters you serve. Will they grant us our vengeance on the abominations behind all this?” 

     She waved her hand, a gesture encompassing the building and the organization behind it. Emotion flared from them both - rage and untempered anguish, calling the dark side to swirl around them. Lucien quietly took her sister’s hand, and the flood of raw emotions quieted, although Kirin had to concentrate on restructuring her special shielding before she could block it out entirely. Her own anger rose briefly as she realized the girls were new to this, and must have fought it bitterly. Given the way they clung to each other, she knew exactly how Dralnu’s crew had controlled them.

“That’s the plan,” Rey said from behind her. The sisters turned to regard her carefully.

“She’s strong,” Kyza murmured.

“But so  _ bright _ ,” her sister complained.

“Come and meet her husband,” Kirin implored. “Soran’s going to be a Knight too.”

“Oh-”

“I like him-”

“He’ll do for now-”

“Yes-”

Quietly, Kirin leaned into to Samra while the twins went over to accost Soran with their barrage of half-sentences. 

“Are they always like that?”

Samra and the women left laughed and her dark-skinned friend nodded, her amber eyes sparked with amusement.

“They can speak inside their heads, now that the collars are off,” she explained. The others blinked in surprise as Kirin  _ groaned _ .

“Oh, that’s lovely. More of them.” She caught the curious looks and shook her head. “Rey and Master Solo can do that too.”

“Huh,” Samra smirked. “Well, they’re your problem now.”

“What will you do?” She asked, her eyes taking in the others as well. “We’re going to bomb the building from orbit, so you can’t stay here.”

“You’re going to-”

“Master Solo confiscated a Star Destroyer. It’s sort of our… mobile headquarters. It has ventral cannons targeted at this location right now.”

“Really?” At Kirin’s nod, Samra made for the door. “Well, first I shall watch this place burn to the ground. Then I believe I will take my… gifts, and see if Nebula is hiring.”

The others followed Samra’s initiative, Kirin and Rey taking up the rear just to ensure there were no surviving temple guardians or left over valuables. Once they were far enough down the street, with the water of the undercity canal between them, Rey lifted her communicator to her lips.

“We’re out. Light it up.”

“You’re all safe?” 

     Kirin wondered if Rey realized how her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted slightly for a moment at the sound of Master Ben's voice. 

“Yes. We got the hardware, too.” She paused, and Kirin saw her gaze sweep the three teenagers clustered around Soran, the pretty blond boy and the twins, who were holding each others hands tightly. “We’re going to need a couple more quarters set up. One with two bedrooms. Next to Thalia’s, I guess.”

All of them, the three Knights, the soon-to-be apprentices and the older women with Samra, stood silently watching the beam of fire from the sky blast the building into rubble, and then blast it again. The roar was deafening, but no one covered their ears, or flinched.

When it was over, Kirin took the bag she had collected all the temple’s valuables in and divided it out between the liberated slaves. She embraced Samra, surprised to find herself blinking back tears, and the older woman kissed her cheek.

“I wish you the best of luck finding your pilot.” She nodded at Soran and nodded deeply at Rey. “We are all in your debt, Knights of Ren. Should you find a way in which I can repay this debt I owe you, you can find me here. Ord Mantell is my home.”

“Please don’t think you owe us anything,” Rey insisted. “But thank you. May the Force be with you.”

“It will be. Because of you.”


	24. Darkness Rises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some awfulness, followed by sadness. Pashi continues to resist the slavers, and Dralnu continues his quest to be even more loathesome than Hux.
> 
> Kirin does some more dreamwalking, with a cameo from a certain blue-eyed Rebel some of my friends have been waiting for.
> 
> He knows alllll about Sith holocrons. Funny how Soran ends up being Kirin’s anchor...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part told from Pashi perspective is somewhat disturbing for abuse, grooming, violence and the Red Hand at work. If you want to skip it just go directly to the first mention of Kirin's POV.

      Sometimes, Wastrel Baasen had mourned that her daughter had inherited her father's stubborn streak. And sometimes, Kayt Baasen had grumbled that Pashi was more stubborn than even her mother.

      Unfortunately, they were both right. 

      She had lost track of time. She slept a little, she supposed, although it didn't seem like it. She had tried to save the cup of water they brought her, to ration for the day, but they refused to let her. She had to drink it all or risk not knowing when they would give her another opportunity. 

       Dralnu had come in again to offer her a blanket, and she was sure it got colder the second time she refused. She curled up against the interior wall. She was losing each battle, slowly, and gaining nothing from it.

       She hardly moved when the door opened this time. She only registered that it was not Dralnu. Just a medical droid, that poked and prodded and gave her some kind of injection. She had no energy to fight it. Eventually it went away, and Pashi cradled her arm where it had taken her blood and left a bruise. One of her captors came in shortly after, with a large cup of some liquid that was not water, and some high energy ration bars.

       “Wakey, wakey sweetheart. Dralnu wants you alive and alert.”

       She took the cup, sniffing the contents cautiously before taking a test sip. Some kind of electrolytes and stimulants.  _ Whatever, fine. _ She downed the cup without further hesitation. The ration bars she had seen before, standard spacer supplies, manufactured in bulk and individually-wrapped. She wolfed them both down as the guard watched her.

        “Feeling better?” He reached out to grab her arm and she hissed, jerking away. The scruffy human cackled and lunged in for a more firm grip. “Getting some of that fight back, I see. Come on, then, I ain't gonna hurt ya.”

         He had to drag her, she refused to walk ahead of him, laughing when he threatened her with his blaster.

         “Go ahead, mister. Shoot me. I'll bet your boss would love that.”

         “Well, you're a kriffing ray of sunshine, ain't ya?” He grinned even as he pulled her nearly dead weight along the corridor of the dark, dingy ship. “I always like to watch the spirited ones. Makes the breaking more fun.”

         She was quiet until they reached an open hold and he practically threw her into the room, so she fell to the ground before the smirking Dralnu. He had her lightsaber in his hands, examining it with mild appreciation. Her guard dropped a rough, brown piece of fabric on her and she ran her hands over it, realizing it was a very crude bit of clothing, sackcloth with arm and head holes.

        “Put it on, child,” he gestured with her lightsaber. “Or do you prefer to fight in the nude? I don't care either way, really.”

         Pashi frowned, regarding him with narrowed eyes.

         “Fight?”

         “Yes. I have decided - maybe it is a foolish notion, I don't know, but I am curious - so I have decided to cross blades with you. Let us see how a Knight of Ren holds herself in combat.”

         “No.” 

        She wanted desperately to cover herself, to put on the crude garment and shield herself from the freezing ship, but her stubborn pride was the only weapon she had left. She would cling to it until she lacked the capacity for rational thought.

        He tossed the lightsaber towards her and she caught it instinctively, unsurprised to see Dralnu ignite a pair of red blades. Her lip curled into a snarl. She recognized the Jar’Kai style. She had the barest second to ignite Ahsoka’s saber and block him, and she remained desperately on the defensive, relying mostly on physical acrobatics to dodge and parry. But she refused to play his game, holding back, ignoring the blatant opportunities he left for counterattacks.

        “Surely you can do more than defend, girl!”

        “Of course I can. But I'm not giving you a preview of my fighting style.”

        He laughed, sounding genuinely amused, and it was the most awful sound Pashi had ever heard in her life. She wondered if there would ever be enough soap and water to erase this place from her body.

        “Let's make a wager. Defeat me, and I will take you onto my crew. I can see you are a good fighter, and we could use another with mastery of the Force. It does seem like a waste of such a strong spirit.”

        He came at her again, but she continued to block, parry, dodge and roll away, putting crates and platforms between them, using their surroundings to support her defense.

       “You must think I'm really stupid,” she snarled. “Do you have any idea who I am?”

       “Oh yes, I forgot, at any moment your dear parents and the great Kylo Ren will come crashing into us, freeing you and all the others in an epic battle. Really, I am waiting with baited breath.”

       She dropped to her knees to dodge an assault, and powered down the blade, sending it spinning back across the room. She had had enough of whatever mind game he was trying to play, and she knew he dared not kill her, or even injure her too badly.

      “Take me back to the cell. I don't know what you want from me, but I'm not giving it to you.”

      “Hmm. Such a waste,” he shook his head. “Well, it can't be helped, I suppose.”

      He made a quick gesture, and two of his guards came to grab her arms, hauling her to her feet. Dralnu's red eyes scored across her body, his hand firmly grasping her jaw and forcing her to meet his gaze. She closed her eyes, refusing to give him even that satisfaction.

     “She's right-handed,” he told her captors. “We'll start there.”

     Her eyes opened in a moment of terror that she couldn't immediately suppress. The masked monster smiled grimly.

     “Don’t worry, it's just a few small bones. You won't be entirely crippled. Of course, you'll never hold a lightsaber again, but you won't need to.”

     It happened so quickly, she barely had time to take a breath. The thug on her right grabbed her arm at the elbow in an iron grip, and there was a blur of motion, a nauseating sense of her fingers being forced backwards - and then pain. So much pain, a thousand times as awful as the moment she found herself blocked off from the Force. Darkness claimed her, and she was grateful. 

     Kirin knew it was a Force dream, even though she didn't recognize the ship, because she felt the other presence almost immediately. But she didn't turn or address the dark-haired man beside her. Instead she knelt on the ground, her full attention consumed by the shivering, naked form lying before her. Pashi wasn't aware of her, either too exhausted or lost in a deeper form of sleep. Most of Kirin’s attention was focused on the swollen, black and purple mess of her right hand. It had been splinted, crudely and improperly, and she knew it was done that way on purpose. It was one of their tactics, predominantly used on more aggressive males, and a part of her was proud at the evidence of her lover's strength. Clearly, Dralnu was frightened if he felt the need to break her sword hand so soon. And clearly, Pashi had managed to conceal a few secrets still. Kirin knew she had been working on dual-handed forms, and as a skilled pilot, she was almost ambidextrous, but she still favored her left hand. 

     She reached out to caress Pashi's tear-stained face, and was shocked to find her girlfriend's mind laid open to her. Memories of Dralnu's disgusting smile, the unwashed thugs dragging her from her cell, the drugged water and Pashi's refusal to take any clothing they offered her while the cell kept getting colder.

     A gentle hand came down on Kirin's shoulder, and she looked up, breaking away from Pashi to look up into the troubled face of her guide.

    “I don't understand, how can I see inside her mind?”

    “The collars block the wearer from joining with the Force. They don't stop the Force from being used on the wearer.” He glanced at Pashi's broken hand meaningfully. Kirin frowned in confusion. How had she never realized they would work like that?

    “I know who you are,” she said after a moment of staring at her love's sweat-beaded forehead. “Ezra. I saw you in Soran’s mind that night. I remembered when I met Sabine.”

    “Worry about me later. Help your girlfriend now.”

    “I don't understand, what am I supposed to-” she glanced back at Pashi for only a second, but she felt it when he left the dream.

    Well, she could at least give her soothing dreams, and soak away some of the pain. She held her hand over Pashi's face and drew in her shielding, until only herself and Pashi existed within her senses. Then she pulled warm, fond memories from the other girl's mind - a beautiful lakeside estate, somewhere green and blue, where an elderly Twi’lek with sky blue skin ruthlessly mocked her father's attempts to tame a riding beast - a dry, desert land with cool, underground dwellings that Kirin instinctively recognized as Ryloth, with the same acerbic old Twi’lek sharing Pashi's lack of enthusiasm over their shared homeworld - an older woman with the same exact skin tone as Pashi and eyes lined with kind wrinkles, putting candles on a cake with violet icing - and very lastly, she drew in their shared night together, tears forming in her eyes as she felt Pashi’s gentle devotion, her protectiveness and warmth and…  _ love? Oh, my precious nightbird. I love you too. _

      She wished there was more she could do. Her guide’s wisdom seemed to imply more than just soothing thoughts, but Kirin wasn't sure what else would work. She had tried probing the collar with the Force, but it was like pouring out water in a rainstorm. Everything just merged together and drained away. But even if Pashi couldn't see her, Kirin would not leave the dream willingly. She sat against the wall, gently easing her head into her lap, and wound her fingers through Pashi's undamaged hand, pouring through soothing, warm memories and draining away pain and exhaustion. Only when she sensed her love's form flickering, then fading completely from the dream, did she allow herself to wake up.

       He came after Pashi had disappeared, blue eyes piercing Kirin's with a solemn persistence that held her gaze. It wasn't easy for her to look anyone in the eye, but she had accidentally made eye contact with Soran that first time, and it seemed to have caught the ghost’s attention. Once again, she wondered at how he came to haunt the other man’s mind, and if Soran was even aware of it.

       “I told her the dreams were real.” 

       He seemed genuinely surprised this time, his head tilting slightly. 

       “How did you meet Sabine? And how did you know-”

       “She asked Rey about you, and her thoughts were unshielded. I saw you in her mind. You don't age, wherever you are, do you?”

       “Ah. Hmm. Not really, no. We're outside of time, I think.”

       “How do I help you? Does Soran know?”

       “I don't think we have time for both of those questions right now. There's a… place… in the Unknown Regions where the Purrgil live. It’s a strange place, walled off from the Force. Outside of the normal passage of time. I got myself trapped here and Soran sought it out for reasons of his own. We sort of… crossed each other. He was projecting his consciousness, I was trying to reach out with mine… parts of us got trapped. When he sleeps, I dream. And when I sleep, he dreams.” He sighed. “I don't know how to fix it, but I believe the opportunity will come.”

       “How long has it been?”

       “I don't know that either. Sabine would know. I have a… very limited sense of the overall passage of time. Dreams are strange.” She nodded.

       “You influence him. Was it him or you-”

       “I'm not going to answer that.” He gazed at her sadly. “Not now, not ever.”

       She narrowed her eyes.

       “If you want to help your girlfriend, you need to view the holocron. But remember what Ahsoka said. Sith healing comes at a price.”

       “How am I supposed to use the Force through-”

       “The collars block the wearer from accessing the Force. They don't stop the Force from being used on the wearer.”

 

       Kirin had claimed quarters as far away from the more populated residential suites as she could get, choosing Phasma's old rooms just off of the backup bridge control. Part of the ship that had to stay powered by necessity, but had no actual assigned crew. She planned to ask Pashi to move in with her, so the suite had three rooms, a second refresher and a large viewport in the center room that Kirin had made into a sort of meditation chamber. They would have to carry their own laundry to the facilities and and clean up after themselves, but Master Ben had insisted the service call buttons still worked just in case, and Thalia had firmly agreed, so that was that.

      So there was no one in this section of the ship to just randomly sneak into her rooms. No one had permission to enter besides herself, Thalia, and their masters. She was pretty sure Rey would not just come in and leave something on her pillow without waking her, and Master Ben certainly knew better. As far as she knew, Thalia wasn't even aware of the existence of the Sith holocron. Vaguely she wondered if one of the new students had been hiding some lockpicking and sneaking skills, but slicing a Star Destroyer was highly advanced work. Anyone who could do that would be more useful in the crew, not wasted lounging around the brothel floor.

     All of this meant there was no logical explanation for it to be sitting there, oozing ominous vibes, right beside her head when she woke up. But she had a brief vision as she reached out, bright blue eyes surrounded by dark hair and a solemn voice echoing in her head. 

_ “They don't stop the Force from being used on the wearer.” _

     She barely bothered to dress, grabbing the first bra she could find and throwing a thin silk wrap over everything, making sure all the “valuable parts” were covered, before grabbing the black cube and running barefoot to the nearest elevator.

 

    Rey was in the shower, humming to herself in an endearingly off-key tone, and Ben was curled around her pillow, trying to decide if he wanted to be awake yet. He was tempted to ignore the frantic pounding on their door, but his mind told him quickly that very few people on the entire ship would have the nerve to be pounding on their door at this time of the morning, and he had left standing orders to be alerted of any updates on the active tracking of the Red Hand, regardless of the time of day. Still, they could have just paged through the ship's communication network.

    He yanked the door wide, prepared to be snippy with some officer or crew, not fully adjusted to the fact that these people were employees now and not just conscripts who had no choice but to suffer his moods. 

    His anger deflated immediately when he saw who it was. And then his eyes dropped to the thing in her hands, and then his mind came fully online and he realized she was barefoot, basically wearing lingerie. 

    “Kirin? Do you know what-”

    “I had another Force dream, Pashi was in it, I need to learn to heal before they do serious damage to her hands,” she rattled off quickly. He glanced down the hall behind her as he held the door wide, trying to figure out where to rest his eyes while he reached out to Rey. 

_ Help me! _

_ What? _

__ He sent her a brief image of the scantily-clad teenage girl on their doorstep, along with his fumbling terror and complete inability to cope. Luckily it was still early, and no one was around. He solved the immediate problem of Kirin's state of undress by taking the holocron from her trembling hands and examining it closely while the girl sat down at their kitchen table. 

    Thankfully Rey came out of the shower quickly, dressed but barefoot with a towel around her hair, and stopped. “Oh, Kirin.”

_ What - why - did she walk through the ship like that? _

_     I don't know, I'm not asking, and probably.  _

_     And you just… _

_     What would you like for me to have done? _

__ He was studiously pouring over the dormant holocron like it was the most interesting object he had ever seen in his life, not looking at her, and very much not looking at Kirin. He could imagine his mother and father in this situation, and he knew what Han Solo’s response would have been. Thankfully, Rey was not viciously jealous, like his mother, and unlikely to blame him for a situation that had just appeared on their doorstep.

    She sighed and dug through a cabinet by the door, taking down one of her many lap blankets and walking over to Kirin, kindly putting her hand on the girl's shoulder. 

    “You're barefoot, you must be freezing,” she offered the blanket, and Force fucking bless, the girl took it. She settled it around her shoulders, and Ben finally looked up from his careful contemplation of the holocron.

    “Tell us about the dream,” he suggested gently. Rey brought her a cup of caf from the machine, and a little packet of powdered cream, sitting down on the edge of the table so he could slip his arm around her waist.

    “There's not much to tell. I know it was a Force dream, because… someone I know from… one of the pleasure houses was there and speaking to me, but they knew it was a dream, too. It was on one of their dirty transports. Pashi was… sleeping, I don't think she was aware of me, but I could read her thoughts and I just sort of stayed there, I don't know how long. I was trying to soothe her.” She looked up, unashamed as tears leaked down her face, nervously twisting the rings on her fingers. “She was naked… They want you feel grateful when they give you clothes, like I explained before, but I think she refused them. And her hand was broken and splinted to prevent it from healing right. To make it impossible for her to hold a weapon.” She hoped she was getting across how absolutely urgent this was. “My… guide... said the collar only prevents the wearer from accessing the Force, it doesn't stop the Force being used on them. I don’t know why I didn't think of it before. But, I was able to reach her mind and give her soothing dreams and take away the pain, so…”

    Rey glanced down at him, but he was just as surprised as she was. He placed the holocron on the table carefully.

   “And where did you find this? It was supposed to be in my private storage, behind a fingerprint and retina scan.” He wasn't really accusing her of stealing, but he noticed her recoil and realized how harsh he must have sounded. “I know you didn't take it, Kirin. I just want to know how you found it.”

    “I don't know. It was on my pillow when I woke up. I just grabbed it and ran down here as fast as I could. Please, Master Ben, you have to help me-”

   “Don't worry, Kirin, we're going to help.” Rey cut her off, dropping to her feet from the table. She turned to Ben. “I'm going to let Thalia know, and put everyone on alert. Just in case. Can you find us someplace…”

   “Private and secure? Like the brig in the aft bulkhead where they had me caged?”

   Something flashed in her eyes, too quick for him to catch more than a warm thought, and she smirked.

   “That sounds perfect.”


	25. Jedi Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, see that tag that says Weird Force Magic? Yeah, it's about to get really weird.... Don't worry, I'm going places. I think most of you will like it, if you can bear to stick with me that long. 
> 
> And don't worry, I'll get back to the new additions to Solo’s Academy for Sensitive Younglings soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for violence, a disturbing death scene and nasty Sith techniques.

     “I cannot believe you're going to allow this,” Soran's voice dripped with disgust. “Why do I feel like the  _ only _ sane person here?”

      “You're not sane,” Ben reminded him, smirking.

      “Takes one to know one.”

      “If you two are finished, we're wasting time,” Rey snapped. 

      Kirin was sitting on the floor of an open cell across from her, thankfully wrapped in more clothing than silk and underwear. Her legs were crossed in a meditation pose, and her eyes were closed, her posture almost relaxed. Genji had made her some kind of tea to soothe her nerves, and it seemed to be helping, at least somewhat. Pashi's father and Khawapashi stood guard outside the cell block, both Force-sensitive enough to tell if something had gone wrong, but not experienced enough to cause much damage should the holocron somehow extend its influence that far. Beyond them Genji, the best martially-talented of the Knights, guarded a sealed blast door.

      Thalia was left in charge of the new students for the day, walking them through securing quarters and basic necessities and making sure they found their way to meal times. It had been a hard sell on everyone to have both masters directly involved, especially with three new students to supervise, but there was no help for it. Thalia was a trained Stormtrooper. He was confident she could babysit the new recruits for half a day.

      Soran had insisted on being Kirin’s back up, since they all, including Ben himself, knew that if something went south his priority would always be Rey. And Kirin’s only defense was to project empathy and use the Force to influence minds, a difficult task to accomplish in the face of a direct attack. By mutual agreement, only Rey brought her weapon.

     Ben leaned in to kiss her once more as she took up a position against the wall behind him, and he sat, mimicking Kirin’s pose although his gangly limbs always protested the traditional meditation pose. Soran settled against the wall behind Kirin, one hand resting easily on his belt beside his blaster, although it was clipped on with the safety engaged. Rey and Kirin had walked Ben through the holocron activation, and he was the most skilled, highly-trained among them. It wasn't the opening that was the difficult part anyway.

    “Tell me when, Kirin,” he instructed, keeping his voice calm.

    Rey's solid blue-white Force presence warmed his back, and he let himself borrow some of her bountiful serenity. She still faltered now and then, cracks of white-lit, reddish fire shooting through her mind, but she had gotten more stable since the day on Kashyyyk when she had shown him the darkness destabilizing her. The most recent mission, when she had felt herself drawing on the dark side and purposely allowed it while still finding her way back to herself seemed to have helped her center. He sensed her lift her fingers to trace his mark, and smiled to himself as he did the same, brushing his hair back from where it had gathered near the scar on his neck.

    “I'm ready, Master.”

     He reached out to Rey, felt her settle into his mind. It was a simple matter of opening to the Force and channeling a controlled push to the inside of the holocron. Immediately, the square opened, floating on one point, the sides opened to reveal the brightly glowing orb of orange-red within. He held it still, continuing the even flow of Force, as he felt Kirin's energy stirring, her eyes opening, reflecting the glow like a blazing campfire, but steady. He knew his eyes must look the same.

     He could feel her energy flowing, her eyes taking on a glassy, unfocused stare, but he had no way of knowing what she saw or felt. Behind her, Soran's lips pressed together in a firm line of concentration, his hand slightly raised as he accessed Kirin’s mind. He still hated that the man was involved, absolutely  _ loathed _ that of all the Force users on the  _ Absolution _ , she had to rely on a former… client… to protect her should she lose herself in the Sith artifact. But it was a matter of necessity, he had experience with Sith artifacts, was familiar with the techniques of the dark side, and the past shared intimacy, even if it wasn't her will, made it easy for Kirin to forge a sympathetic link. 

      He tried telling himself again that Kirin could forgive whoever she wanted, and it was none of his business, but try as he might, he could not bring himself to be friendly toward Soran. It was completely hypocritical and Ben was well aware of that, but he was still unpracticed at tempering his emotions.

    He heard Rey gasp, and although the energy in the room was still stable, he noticed what she had quickly enough. A single tear dropped slowly down Kirin's cheek. Soran grimaced behind her, but both remained steady. 

_ Do we go on? _

_     I think so. For now, at least. _

 

    The scene around her was chaos. A city planet, with small patches of vibrant jungle, dominated by dark brick buildings and angular architecture, and everywhere she looked there was fire. Dusky-skinned, silver-haired humanoids with yellow eyes dashed and darted through the street, while blaster fire and the sounds of battle sounded in every direction.

    It was a battle, Kirin realized. And these people of the dark temples and silver hair were losing, badly. Everything around her touched a raw nerve, children screaming and crying, adults doing the same, but with more anguish, dead and dying littering the street around her. Kirin knew this was a vision, a long ago past, but by some sick twist of the dark side, she could feel… everything. She was so frozen in the midst of it all, it took time for her to even notice the scene directly before her. A young woman, older than her but not by much, knelt in the doorway of a crumbling building, her hand pressed desperately against a growing spread of blood down her white robe. She wore a crown made of onyx and red crystal, and the set of her features was proud and arrogant.

     “Jedi vermin!” She spat, and Kirin recoiled, thinking she was addressing her. But no, the woman's eyes were fixed on another woman, a dark-skinned human who lay at her feet, chest heaving. A band of blueish-silver and gold intertwined adorned her upper arm, and her fingers clutched the sheared hilt of a broken lightsaber. She was dying, Kirin realized. Both women were dying, having battled each other to this point.

    “I… will not… die here!” The woman with the crown hissed. She limped to the Jedi’s side, turning the woman's face with her foot. 

    “Death comes to us all, Nera.” She closed her eyes. “Look around you. Your city has fallen.”

    “Yes! How many deaths are you responsible for? I know you came here to help the uprising! Those petty slaves would never have the guts to rise up against us otherwise!”

    “No. I came for you. For you, and your family.” Nera hissed, and the nameless Jedi smiled grimly.  “Yes. You've been so preoccupied with your own safety. Search yourself. They are all…”

   “NO!!! NO! You're a Jedi! You don't kill children!” Nera sobbed, new strength coming to her limbs as she kicked the fallen human.

   “You killed them yourself,” the Jedi gasped softly. “Where do you think that crown gets its power? Your life is prolonged by the lifeforce of your family. The great royal line.”

   “No! I am the queen! I had to… I had to protect my people. My city!”

   “Your life,” the Jedi coughed. Flecks of blood spattered the ground.

   “You could have stopped me!! I didn't know…” But she did know. When her father was sick with the swamp flu, and then her mother died so suddenly. It was a hard loss, but at least the king recovered. Nera’s grandmother bringing her the crown as she lay bleeding after the birth of her first child. The child she never even held.

    The fight through the city as the Jedi chased her. She had sent her daughters in the other direction while she fought, but she had kept the crown. She told herself she couldn't sense them anymore because they were too far away. Safe.

    “If you truly wanted them to live, Nera….” the Jedi coughed up more blood. “You would have left the crown… with them.”

     She coughed more violently, struggling to roll to her side, but the queen reached down and laid her hand on the dying woman's face, her golden eyes blazing.

     “You will give me the rest of your life, Jedi! I am the queen! I will not die here. I will take another mate and my line will continue.”

     The Jedi just sighed as the queen pressed her hand against her face and sought within her, for the flickering, feeble light left within, and pulled it into herself.

_ Will you tell them, Nera? Will you teach your children to survive by stealing the lifeforce of others? _

__ “Silence!! You are dead! You have no power over me!”

_ Death comes to us all, Nera _ .

    The queen hissed and fled, running from the burning city, stopping to take the lives of the dying, to heal herself. They were dying anyway, she reasoned. Why leave them to suffer when she could survive, and grant them a quick release?

     It was then that Kirin realized the holocron was not recorded by the dying Jedi, but by the Sith Queen Nera, recorded and passed onto her children, just as the Jedi had tried to prevent.

     Kirin was on her knees before the fallen Jedi, shaking, trying to find the flickering light she knew was gone.

_ No, no, wake up! _

__ She was sobbing, looking up and down the street, frantic, even though she knew, logically, this was ancient history.

_ Please, you have to stop her! _

__ **_Kirin, let go._ **

_     No! That woman… she can't win! She can't go on… _

__ **_It's already happened._ **

    The edges of the memory were starting to fade, black crackles of darkness creeping towards her, but she didn't see them. How could this be it? Did Ahsoka and Ezra really expect her to use this technique? On who?  _ No, no, there has to be another way _ !

**_LET GO!!_ **

    Two voices resounded in her mind, amplified by the Force, echoing through space and time and she was thrown, forcibly from the darkening landscape.

    Strong arms came around her, pulling her away, and she fought to free herself, but she was no match for the combined strength of Ezra’s mental shove and Soran’s physical strength.

 

     She fell back, sobbing, and Soran knelt, holding her gently because all the strength had drained out of her. Kirin blinked up at his worried face, jewel-bright eyes filled with tears.

     “What am I supposed to do with that?” She whispered. He shook his head, as haunted by the vision as she was, and she had the strange sensation of his words echoing.

      “It is a Sith technique. I'm sorry.”

      “You can do it,” she insisted. “You  _ would _ if you had to. Master Ben would. I think even… I think even Master Rey, if she had to.”

      She saw him glance over her, and knew her masters were there, worrying about her. She could sense Master Ben’s discomfort at allowing Soran to hold her, and she smiled faintly.

      “Soran. Do me a favor.”

      “Yes, of course.”

      “I didn't even say what,” she laughed softly. His brows drew together, suddenly unable to meet her gaze.

      “It doesn't matter. Anything in my power is yours to command.”

      Kirin sighed. “You're a terrible Sith.”

      “I'm not-” He stopped when she held her hand up to silence him, smiling.

      “I know. Take me to my room, please? Because I will not be walking anywhere for awhile.” She closed her eyes as he gathered up her slight frame, but opened them on feeling her master's annoyance. “Please stop, Master Ben. I am allowed to forgive whomever I want.” 

       It was a long trip all the way back to the quarters Kirin had chosen, but he never protested, or shifted her weight, or touched her in anyway that was not completely platonic. He tried to leave her at her door, but she made him help her inside, and he helped her settle herself on the plush, cushioned chair in her meditation room and take off her sandals and bring her a blanket.

     “Thank you. For everything.”

     “Kirin, I swear to you, I'll-”

     - _ I'll help you in the dreamworld.- _

     “Alright, alright, I know. If I need anything else, I'll call you.”

     He spared her a final, worried glance as he left the room, and she felt momentarily disoriented by the sensation of two pairs of eyes looking out at her. It was why she had remained adamant that he be her anchor, although the sense of two very strong personalities with loud emotions pressing on her empathy was starting to become overwhelming.

     She sighed as the door to her quarters closed, wrapping herself in a soft blanket and nestling into the large, round chair. She hadn't had time to change her bedsheets, and she couldn't bear to be assaulted by the memory of her previous dream. Very soon, she would go find Rey and they would try to reach Pashi, but she needed to regain her strength, and figure out how or if she could possibly bear to take a life in order to heal her beloved.

_ That ship is full of people who deserve death,  _ she tried to tell herself. And it was absolutely true, but… She would feel them die. See the light of their lifeforce flicker and irrevocably disappear under _her_ assault. It was hard enough feeling Rey and Soran cut down the temple guards.  _ There has to be another way. _ Pashi did not have time for her to hesitate, to build up the strength she needed. And it had to be her. If it had been anyone else sharing dreams like that, Ben and Rey for example, she knew they wouldn't hesitate. Well, Rey might. But she'd do it anyway.

  
  


      “It's been a while. Been busy in the world of dreams?” Sabine teased softly.

      “Actually, yeah.”

      They were always young, in her dreams. His dreams?  _ Whatever.  _ In the weirdly vacant ship, recreated down to the finest detail, they were in his cabin. He sat on his bunk while she leaned in the door frame, arms crossed patiently. 

     She was always the patient one, she had to be. It was a tricky thing to manage, this relationship that existed outside of the waking world. Sabine could leave any time she wanted, go out and live her life, fulfil the heaps of responsibilities that weighed on her, but he was stuck here in between.

      She wondered if he knew that she would rather sleep the rest of her life away if it meant staying here. If he knew what she'd confessed to Rey. He didn't seem to want to continue talking, staring at her artwork on the wall instead of her, so she did what she always did when he was quiet and brooding. She talked, a sort of rambling stream of consciousness that nevertheless seemed to entertain him.

     “It's not really legal to keep someone under arrest without official charges for so long, but since the bastard isn't a protected citizen or one of our allies, I've taken some liberties. Now I've got two branches of First Order bureaucrats breathing down my neck. That's a lot of hassle for some dirtbag slaver, but after I talked to Rey and the slave girl, I thought why not let him stew for awhile? And I'm glad I did, now.”

      Suddenly his eyes darted to hers, holding her gaze intently.

      “You have one of the dirtbags in custody?”

      “Yes, and we're trying to interrogate him, but these slavers are efficient.” She sighed, holding his eyes warmly despite the vile topic of conversation. “I really wish at least one of you Jedi had stuck around. I'm pretty sure the guy's got some Force tampering in his head, but there's nothing we can do about it, and Zeb had to go back to Lothal, so it's just down to me.”

       “You're alone? I know about Ahsoka… Apparently you can literally go anywhere when you're a Force Ghost.”

       “She found you? Where? When? How do I get there?”

       She moved away from the wall when Ezra got to his feet, barely managing a step forward before his arms found her. He buried his face in her hair and Sabine sighed. At first, when she thought they were just dreams, he had held her, and touched her and - she didn't know what stopped it, but one day he had just become distant. So this sudden embrace was a surprise, and for a moment she was still, afraid if she returned it, he would pull away again. Then he reached up and pushed her hair back from the side of her neck, and she felt his lips brush her skin, and she caved.

      Her hands moved to clutch at him fiercely, latching onto his shoulders with all of her strength. She refused to let him distance himself again, with Ahsoka gone as well now, her soul just couldn't take it.

      “I'm sorry.” His breath was warm and very real. 

      “You should be. I've been waiting years-”

      “You can't come here. It's too dangerous. And impossible.”

      He jerked away at the sound of her hoarse sob, but she dug her fingers into his arms, too rattled to care anymore. She'd given him enough damned space, and if this was all that was left to her, she would fight for it with all that she had.

     “I'm so  _ tired _ of being alone,” she breathed against him. He shifted, not letting go, but pulling away enough to meet her stricken gaze. Sabine rolled her eyes. “Yes, go ahead, read my mind. Like you don't know after all this time.”

     “You know this is real for me, right? As real as… as I can ever be.”

     “Yeah, I know. I've always known.”

      She looked away from the heat in those blue eyes, flushing like the young girl she was in the dreamworld, and gave herself a mental shake. She was over fifty years old, she couldn't blush like a teenager, it was indecent.

      “Oh. I thought you'd… I didn't want to-”

      “You're trying really hard to make this as awkward as possible, aren't you?”

      “Make wha-”

       She was out of patience, and they had other things to talk about so she just rolled her eyes and pressed her lips to his. He froze - she knew he would - but then he relaxed, sinking into the familiar feeling. They separated, and he brushed her hair from her face, his infuriatingly piercing eyes holding her.

      “Was that awkward?”

       Sabine shook her head and grabbed his hand to drag him out of the room.

      “Come on, Jedi, I need your help.”

      “Hey. Wait, I thought you wanted… more?”

       He let her drag him to the center of the ship, where she made him sit across from her and leaned forward, catching his hands and putting them up to her temples. He frowned at her hesitantly.

      “Oh, you're fine doing it without my consent, but when I'm actively  _ trying _ to give you access, suddenly you hesitate?”

      His lips pressed into a thin line, and a ghost of amusement passed over his eyes.

      “What are you actively trying to give me access to, exactly?”

      “There's nothing there I don't want you to see.  _ Nothing. _ ” She leaned in so he understood the emphasis. “But for now, it would be great if you could look at my memories and help me put the pieces together so I can ask the right questions and lock this bastard up forever.”

       His eyes closed for a few seconds, and she gasped at the feeling of her mind moving beyond her control, even though he was careful it was still shockingly intimate. His brows furrowed suddenly before his eyes opened wide.

_ “ _ Kirin, huh?"

       “You know her?”

       He nodded, his eyes suddenly clouded with a dark emotion. Sabine knew him too well to let it slide. 

       “There's something you don't want to tell me,” she accused softly. Ezra sighed.

       “I want to tell you, but it's complicated.”

       “Jedi stuff?”

       “Mostly. I can help with the Red Hand though. If you question him carefully, I think you can get some answers.” He paused. “I can communicate with her. The girl. I can go back and forth, so you don't have to pass so many messages through open space and risk them finding your captive and trying to rescue him.”

     “Oookay, gonna need you to explain the complicated Jedi business now. How do you know a Force-sensitive teenage slave? And how does she know you?” 

     He sighed and held one of her hands in both of his.

     “This is going to sound really awful, but promise me you'll stay with me until the end?” She nodded, though her eyebrow arched skeptically. “Alright, you remember what I told you once a out the Purrgil?”

     “They exist somewhere outside of time and space, yeah, I remember.”

     “A while ago… I guess it's been years… probably two or three? I was walking outside my body, following their trail, trying to see if I could get through and… I ran into someone else, going the opposite way.”

     “You crashed your Force-Projection into another Force-Projection?” He blinked at her quick grasp of the explanation and nodded unhappily. “How is that even possible? In all the enormity of space, two people decide to wander outside their bodies and you  _ just happen _ to crash? I need a droid here to calculate the odds…”


	26. Need Met With Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, who else missed that sweet Kylo Ren angst?
> 
> Rey is getting really good at inappropriate uses of the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Dom Rey, pain, punishment, really nothing surprising, but if you have an issue with pain dominance just... skip from Kirin's POV to the dialogue at end.

        Kirin seemed to be making a pattern of approaching Master Ben for advice. It wasn't that she didn't love Rey, or trust her to help in any way she could, it was because she  _ would _ help. If Kirin asked it of her, Rey would give everything she had, including putting herself at risk, and she had already proven she could access the dark side during their raid on the Ord Mantell temple. Kirin knew better than anyone how that kind of generosity of spirit could be exploited, and she refused to put any more weight on her master's shoulders. 

        Rey was strong, but her heart was too vulnerable, and Kirin could sense her struggle to maintain the balance of dark and light within her. She needed someone who could be objective, who could look at the situation with cold clarity. But while Ben might _ project _ , he didn't  _ absorb _ . He had been emotionally manipulated by the cruelest of masters, and he kept himself shielded instinctively.

     So, here she was, wandering through the  _ Absolution _ , seeking his Force signature, slowly drawing her empathic bubble into the massive ship, to the occupied parts, to the bridge, the two operating hangars, the practice rooms beneath the residential suites…  _ there. _ She could almost smell the tang of heated metal in his red and silver swirl, shot through with veins of brilliant blue like a cracked geode. 

      She smiled. He was training with Rey and Thalia, she could feel the tight line of blue and red, meeting at the middle in a violet convergence, connecting the masters. And Thalia’s sunny signature, flickering unsteadily as she struggled with whatever task they'd set her. The new apprentices were there, too, the twins Lucien and Kyza’s mingled essences impossible to separate. 

      She hurried to the room, trying not to remember a similar practice room on the  _ Finalizer _ , where she had first reached out to Pashi, and found that somewhere, in her broken, bruised soul, she was still capable of love. Her eyes traveled over their new recruits, hoping they could find the same solace she had and learn to let go of the past.

      At first, Kirin just leaned against the wall, enthralled by the graceful dance of Ben and Rey as she swirled and ducked and spun her staff, while he swung his weight around with the grace of a predator, circling. They matched each other, pace to pace, each movement mirrored in some way by the other. Thalia was standing off to the side, a blaster set to stun in her hand, but she looked highly uncomfortable.

     “You're supposed to be shooting, Thalia,” Ben reminded the ex-Stormtrooper.

     “Right.” She shuffled her feet. “So… just fire whenever? At who?”

     “Either. Both. But if it makes you more comfortable, by all means, concentrate on me,” Rey’s mouth stretched in a mocking smile at her husband.

      Kirin felt some relief from Thalia, and realized the poor woman was still not quite over being intimidated by the man who was once Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader’s leashed wardog, and briefly Supreme Leader himself. The twins leaned forward, watching the display with matching expressions of interest in their identical green eyes, and Kirin had an idea. She smiled and stepped forward, clearing her throat to get their attention.

      “If Thalia wants to concentrate on Rey, I'll happily throw some blocks at Master Ben,” she offered. She caught Rey’s glance, could feel the concern that radiated from her and Thalia, but Ben Solo simply looked at her and shrugged. She caught a slight movement from the new students, Kyza giving Lucien a gentle elbowing in the side.

    “Go ahead.”

    In unspoken agreement they began circling again. Kirin started, aiming the first piece of wood straight at Ben's head just as Rey dived in with a savage swipe at his middle. Normally he would duck, but that would put him in range of Rey’s double-bladed sweep, so he turned into it, taking the weight of the block against his shoulder and shrugging it off. She hadn't really thrown it with much strength, but it was always surprising to be reminded of the sheer physical strength he possessed.

     Rey followed her sweep through and spun on her heel to jab at him again while his shoulder recovered from the impact of the wood, momentarily jarring his grip on the fiery red saber in his right hand. He was forced to parry with the smaller green blade, throwing her off, but leaving himself open to another block Kirin hurled at his exposed midsection. 

    He immediately drew the paired blades into a cross, slicing the wood to ribbons. Rey took the opportunity to roll behind him, targeting his knee, and Thalia finally fired her blaster, forcing her to abandon her attack and thrust her hand out, freezing the bolt in midair. She rolled to her knees, facing Ben across the stilled bolt, both of them panting heavily.

     “That's new,” he said, admiringly. Rey climbed to her feet and smiled.

     “I do train without you sometimes.”

     She released the bolt to crash harmlessly into the wall, and he swung into an immediate attack, catching her off-guard. Suddenly deciding this was a team battle, Kirin hurled two blocks this time, one at Ben's unprotected back - and one at Thalia.

      He grunted in surprise and fell forward, Rey quickly powering down her weapon to avoid injuring his arm, but Thalia had been watching, and her stun bolt hit home this time, letting Ben’s full weight carry a gasping Rey to the ground.

      She missed the block sailing towards her, however, and Kirin held it just above the young woman’s short growth of spikey blonde hair. Ben had his green saber up to Rey's neck, his usual arrogant smirk spread over his face.

     “Yield,” he said softly, in a husky voice that belonged more to the bedroom than the training mat, although Kirin was accustomed to their foreplay-by-combat routine at this point. But Rey's eyes traveled to Thalia, still pointing her blaster, and she grinned.

     “No,” she whispered, and Kirin felt a surge of emotion from her, acting on instinct and dropping the block heavily onto Thalia's head. Rey reached out a hand, summoning the blaster from her limp fingers, and leveled it under Ben’s strong chin. “You yield.”

     He glanced around, following Rey's sharp eyes, and laughed softly. Kirin already had two more blocks levitating over her hands, prepared to send them crashing into either opponent.

     “Thalia,” Ben said with a resigned sigh. “I think we've lost.”

     “That is my assessment as well, sir.”

     “You yield?” Rey repeated with a small private smile.

     He powered down his sabers and rose, reaching for her hand. Kirin had seen this tactic before, and apparently so had Rey. She climbed to her knees, still holding the blaster, glowering at his hand. He shook his head.

      “Alright, alright. We yield.”

      “I yield,” Thalia echoed, staring across the room at Kirin.

      Only then did she drop both blocks, and realized a light sheen of sweat had broken out over her brow and behind her head tails. Ben pulled Rey to her feet, but she sidestepped his attempts to be more flirtatious in front of their apprentices. Instead, she went to give Thalia back her blaster, their murmured conversation too far away for Kirin to hear. She stepped away from the wall she was leaning against and approached him as he was mopping his face with a towel.

     “I need your advice, Master Solo.” 

     “You do?” He paused to study her face, apparently reading something in it that convinced him she was serious. “You do. Alright. Come with me.”

  
  


      It was still strange to walk into his quarters and see… a home. For over ten years, Ben Solo - or Kylo Ren - had lived in a sterile, simple cabin on the  _ Finalizer _ . There were no decorations, no carpet or bookshelves, just hard black and chrome furniture, black floors and walls, even his bed sheets had been black. He remembered Rey’s amusement upon seeing the oppressive, empty quarters, how she had felt so uncomfortable and out of place there that she fled through the ductwork and stole his shuttle. 

      Now she  _ was  _ his home, and their quarters were practically alive with her, from the piles of soft carpet to the neatly organized tool chest. She always asked his opinion on everything, making sure he had equal space for his belongings, and thankfully Rey was simple and practical about her clothing and grooming necessities. He vividly remembered his mother's cosmetic-scattered vanity and closet, half normal, functional clothing and half graceful, silk gowns and all the shoes and accessories everywhere. 

     Rey had two pairs of boots and some simple black sandals, two sturdy belts courtesy of Wookie craftsmanship, a scattering of tunics and leggings, her heavy blue cloak and the carved wooden hair combs she had worn when they were married. He actually found, to his embarrassment after they moved in their things, that his side of the closet was fuller than hers.

      He knew she was worried that she would overwhelm him, that everything in their home was picked out and arranged to suit her tastes, or gifted to them by the apprentices and officers when they first boarded the  _ Absolution, _ but she didn't seem to realize that she was the only thing he really needed in his home. Just being here, surrounded by blue and green and soft warmth and Rey's scent of warm rock and cool water, was enough. Maybe eventually he would do as she suggested and rearrange the small extra storage space off the living room for an office or something, but he had been essentially a slave for ten years. Ben Solo hardly even knew what his tastes were, and he certainly didn't have any hobbies.

        He held the door for Kirin to precede him, but stopped her just inside. There was a little bench by the door where he sat to remove his boots and set them aside, away from the carpet, and Kirin caught on quickly, slipping out of her low flats with little effort. She sighed when she walked into the living area and her bare feet sank into the carpet, in almost the same way Rey did.

      “Do you want anything? Caf or tea or something?” 

      He was still a little awkward being alone with the girl. It wasn't that he disliked her, and it wasn't that she had a tendency to dress provocatively with a stunningly beautiful body to display. Even if he could appreciate it, Ben was firmly devoted to Rey, the most beautiful courtesan on Cantonica could offer her services for free and he would be uninterested. He just felt groundless around the girl. She was tiny and delicate and sensitive and her life had been nothing but a series of nightmares, even more terrifying than his. Rey had warned him not to underestimate Kirin, he knew her empathic talents were formidable, and she had proven herself more than adept at levitation and persuasion, but he still didn't know what to teach her, or how to go about it.

      “Caf sounds nice.” She interrupted his thoughts. “I think Pashi is on a different day-night cycle, so I'm going to stay up tonight and have some of Genji’s tea in the morning. Rey said she would sit with me, but…” 

      She twisted the silver filigree ornament on one head tail idly. 

      “I don't know if I want Rey.”

        He busied himself with the machine as understanding broke over him. Rey had been wiser than he realized that day she had told him that Kirin needed Kylo Ren. Pashi  _ definitely  _ needed Kylo Ren, and he was fully prepared to exterminate the Red Hand on the blade of his fiery lightsaber or pulverize their structures from orbit. But in something so intimate as a mind delving, monitoring Kirin’s dreams as she tried to locate her girlfriend again, he was less sure of the boundary between Kylo Ren and Ben Solo.

       “Sugar and milk?” He asked. 

       He knew the answer, but he was stalling for time.

       “Yes, please.”

       He laid the containers on the table, then returned with two mismatched mugs. He handed her the one that advertised vacation packages on Bespin. His own mug was black with a white outline of the First Order symbol. The irony was not lost on him as he sat at his own kitchen table, finally free of the reins of the Order, sipping caf with an apprentice neither Snoke nor Luke would have accepted.

       “You're afraid of me,” Kirin said softly, avoiding his gaze. “What in the whole universe would make  _ you  _ afraid of  _ me _ ?”

        He should have known better than to let himself be trapped alone with the Force empath. Ben studied the dark liquid in his cup, gathering thoughts and discarding them. Finally he looked up and met Kirin's eyes.

        “You’re afraid of me, too.”

        “Well, of course!” She looked at him as if he had just pointed out that lightsabers were dangerous, or astrogation was hard. “Who isn't?”

        “Rey,” he said immediately. She laughed.

        “Yeah, she's probably the only one in the galaxy.” Kirin paused. “Master Rey's not afraid of much of anything. Except losing you.”

        “I don't know why. I have no idea why she…” He stopped. He was not about to confide his lack of self-worth to Kirin. “This is why I fear you, Kirin. You see through people. You see me, and I'm afraid that what you see is not… reassuring.”

         He frowned as Kirin tilted her head thoughtfully.

         “I see fire and rage. The painful shriek of need met with hate, metal on glass. Pure affection, deeper than just love. So much loss, so many broken pieces.” She leaned forward, peering into his carefully expressionless face, then sat back and sipped her caf. “We're not so different, Master Ben. We are both broken people, trying to put the pieces back together for the sake of the ones we love.”

         Ben took a deep breath to steady himself with.  _ Need met with hate. _ She had summed up the entire creation and existence of Kylo Ren in one simple sentence.

         “It's not easy to give up hope and have it slash you across the face years later. Hate was all I had left,” he admitted, softly, knowing she would understand.

          The Twi’lek nodded, listening, her amethyst eyes blinking rapidly to stave off some overwhelming emotion. His, probably, she had always complained that he projected wildly. 

         “She saved me, but I don't know why the Force connected us to begin with. Why it needed us… this… so badly it had to drag her into it too.”

         “No, you don't get to do that!” Kirin snapped harshly. “Don't try to take away her part in this. Your destiny is shared, it always has been. If she had been lost to the dark, it would have been you, waltzing into the rathtar’s den with that famous Skywalker blood and a blue lightsaber to rescue her. You truly think Rey would be better off alone on kriffing Jakku!?”

         Ben recoiled in shock, staring at her. Slowly, he got up, because he had to move and he felt the old familiar urge to rage, against the harsh truth, against the bitterness of life, against the tiny, diminutive pleasure slave who pierced his delusions so effortlessly. 

      Kirin watched him pace quietly, sipping her caf for all the world as if she didn't give a damn that his hand twitched over his lightsaber, that he could hurt her and destroy her utterly in one swift stroke. She watched him precisely the way Rey watched when his anger took hold of him, only Kirin wasn't Rey, she couldn't help him, she couldn't be the outlet for his emotions that Rey was.

_ Rey. I need you. Force help me, I am seconds away from choking Kirin. _

_          What? KIRIN?  _ She was already running, he could sense her moving through the ship.  _ How in the seven hells…? _

_          I can't explain, I can't, just please come.  _

         Closing his eyes, he slammed his hands down on the table before her, sloshing hot caf everywhere. Kirin barely flinched.

        “Fine! You want me to help you kill someone because you can't stand death on your hands, even if it's a filthy criminal dying to save your innocent girlfriend? The girl you love, who wants you despite all the ways you're broken? Fine. I'll be there. But don't expect me to hold your fucking hand or comfort you while you cry.” 

          As she regarded him, coldly, her face frozen into a non-expression, he realized she was right. Kirin was just as broken as he was. He knew that look well. It was the same look he had perfected while facing Snoke. 

        “You need Kylo Ren, you can have him, but just remember, Kylo Ren is a monster. Now get OUT!”

        He wheeled around and fled into the refresher, slamming the door behind him. Vaguely, he heard the door open and close, mostly drowned by the sound of water as he turned on the shower, to the highest bearable setting, ripping off his clothes to stand under it, gasping for breath as if he had run ten miles uphill in full armor. He turned at the sound of the door, waiting as Rey stepped into the room and looked him over.

       She undressed rapidly, coming to join him, wrapping her wiry arms around him as he clawed at her desperately, burying his face in her dampening hair.

_ Rey. I need…  _ He wasn't entirely sure what he needed. He felt guilty and ashamed of himself, the self-loathing almost as crippling as the anger....  _ hurt me… I need to… feel it. _

       She drew back, smoothing his hair out of his eyes.

       “You yelled at Kirin.” She pressed her forehead against his while her hand clenched into a claw. His breath caught in his throat, and he felt his body straining, but in his mind, the rage paced, watching.

_  Yes. More.  _ He closed his eyes, opening them quickly at her hard slap.

        “Look at me! Answer out loud when I speak to you!”

        “Yes,” he croaked hoarsely, gasping in lungfuls of a delicious air when she released him. He leaned against her for support, and she stepped away.

        “No. Get on your knees.”

        He did, looking up at her, begging for something, any instruction, any offering he could make to push back the darkness looming over him. She took a step closer, her body blocking the warmth of the water, leaving him cold and wet. She dragged her hands through the mess of his hair, pulling tightly.

        “Well?” She rolled her eyes in disgust when he looked up at her pleadingly. “You know what I like. Do it.”

        His hands trembled as he grasped her hips for balance, and she lifted her leg over his shoulder, roughly drawing him to her. He bowed his head and pressed his lips to the wet mound before him, sliding his tongue into the front of her sex. Gently, he let go of her with one hand to help spread her, letting his tongue probe until she gasped and bucked against him. He focused his efforts there, his tongue moving in slow circles, drawing her out, but she growled impatiently. 

         “Ben. Look up here.” He did, and her found her hazel eyes soft. “You asked me to hurt you.”

         He nodded, slowly. Very gently, she moved her hand into that vice grip again, and his airway constricted. Then she released his throat and he felt invisible fingers squeezing somewhere else, tightly enough that he threw back his head and hissed in pain. He felt her mind brush over his, and he flushed, but met her gaze.

         “You still think you deserve to be  _ hurt? _ Should I go on?”

         He closed his eyes, trembling. If he continued to pleasure her, he would enjoy it, especially like this, he liked it best while she was standing over him. But he didn't deserve to enjoy it, and if she kept him this way, he wouldn't be able to, exactly. Slowly he nodded.

         “Tell me. Out loud. You really want me to do this?”

         Her voice was full of concern and gentleness, and he couldn't take it.

         “Do whatever you want. Squeeze me, choke me, leave me with bruises the way I mark you.” He tried to express his desperation, but words really failed to contain the despair creeping over him. He opened his chaotic thoughts to her, felt her wading through them. “Gods, Rey, just make it stop, I can feel this rage lurking... I don't know how, but you silence it. Please, I-”

         “Sorry, why are you still talking?” Her voice was cold, in a way only that crisp Coruscanti accent could be. “I asked a question, you answered, get back to what you were doing.”

          He sought her slick flesh again, wincing in pain as invisible fingers closed over his throat, then his partly-erect member, then over the sensitive flesh beneath. His eyes closed and he hissed in pain, seeking solace by focusing on what he felt through the Bond from Rey instead. Eager to feel the release in her mind, he concentrated only on her, lapping with firm, strong strokes, her soft moans and rolling hips the only reward he needed. She lessened the tortuous grip as she relaxed against him, opening her legs wider, groaning with abandon.

         “More,” she whispered. 

         He had hardly been able to hear her over the sound of the shower, and she quickly caught his attention with an excruciating squeeze that left him gasping. He used both hands to widen her, placing his mouth over the little pearl of pleasure and sucking greedily, feeling her Force-hold slacken further as she neared her climax. 

         “Faster!” She demanded. 

         He held his mouth over her, fully working her with his tongue in rapid, strong strokes while she released her hold to bury her hands in his hair. She held him ruthlessly against her while she practically rode his face, finally achieving her release, muscles clenching and legs weakening so that she had to hold herself up against the shower wall. He stayed on his knees, holding her waist loosely in his hands, lapping over her as she rode out the last aftershocks of her pleasure.

          Her breathing coming back to normal, she guided him to his feet. Then she proceeded to gently wash him, lathering soap over his entire body and thoroughly cleansing it away with the shower wand. He was content to let her do as she pleased, only humming softly in pleasure as she massaged her fingers through his hair, lathering shampoo and then conditioner in through it. She took her time with it, and he suspected she enjoyed that treatment as much as he did. 

         When she was done, she washed herself with brisk efficiency, turning off the water and stepping out to grab a towel. She took his hand and guided him out, then carefully rubbed him dry, deftly securing the towel around his waist. She dried herself with another, then quickly wrapped up her hair while she took down his comb and pulled it with delicate strokes through his damp waves until it fell silky and free of tangles. 

          Taking his hand again, she led him to the bedroom. Ben was silent the whole time, though she talked to him soothingly, occasionally brushing up against his mind and finding him content to receive her gentle care. He had reached a state of just  _ being _ , most conscious thoughts drifting away in a haze of exhaustion and contentment, akin to the melding with the Force he was accustomed to when meditating.

         “Lay down on your back,” she instructed, guiding him to the bed. 

        He did, noticing vaguely as she rummaged around in the table beside her, then coming more fully awake when he felt her hand, warm and coated with the slick oil they used sometimes in joining, working him back into full erection. He groaned, feeling an exquisite melody of soreness and desire, and he opened his eyes suddenly to see her swinging astride him, her back to him with her long, wet hair dripping onto his stomach. She impaled herself in one swift movement, and he suddenly understood the point of the oil. He was sore from her torture in the shower, slightly raw, so that her movement over him chafed slightly.

_ Rey… _

_         Is this okay? Did I hurt you too much? _

__ “It's good,” he said out loud. “Sore, but… you feel so good. I don’t know how you can stand to have me inside of you, how you've ever-”

        “Be quiet, I don't want to hear your pathetic moping.”

        Oh,  _ oh, _ that clipped voice. He was dying to have more of her, he wanted her to turn around so he could worship her properly, but she made it clear she was facing away for a reason.

        “Don't come,” she ordered. “This is just for me. I'm going to ride you until I'm satisfied, and then you can beg for yours.”

        He fisted the sheets in his hands. He had not expected her to be so good at this, tormenting him with her words and her body and the moans and soft cries she made as she rocked over him, faster and harder, ignoring his sounds as she worked her hips for her own pleasure. Using him, like he was a thing she owned, a toy for her to play with. He thought he would happily remain that for the rest of his life, if she wanted, and it would never atone for all the blood on his hands.

       Rey leaned forward, her hands on his thighs, and he groaned at the change in position, drawing on all his strength not to come right then. And then she turned and looked at him over her shoulder.

       “Don't just lay there, fuck me, you idiot.”

       Ben’s eyes closed. He was not going to last, he was going to come and then she would be angry and irritated at being unfulfilled. He reached out in desperation to the Force, seeking the full meditative state to give him enough peace to do as she asked. She made such sounds as he did, her hips crashing down to meet his, one hand moving from his thigh. He could feel her rubbing herself and knew she was at the edge, and when she fell, she would bring him with her.

      “Force, Rey! Rey! I can't not, I can feel you tensing. Please let me come with you, please.” 

      He was whining and pathetic and he knew it. She moaned like his words had some kind of value to her, her body stiffening. She was still for a few, agonizing seconds, his cock twitching inside of her while her interior muscles quivered around it, then she nodded once.

     “Yes. But don't stop fucking me until I'm done.”

     He didn't even have the chance to reply before she thrust herself down over him, knees spread as far as she could get, panting and crying out as he bucked his hips under her. Her muscles tightened in a familiar way, and he knew to move faster, to keep moving even through his own release. 

     Rey moaned with a particular hoarseness he recognized, and he closed his eyes as her climax pulled them both under. He kept moving, drawing her out, but he lost himself when the white, pure serenity of their bond claimed all of his senses.

     Ben sat up and caught her in his arms, pulling her down beside him to hold her. He didn't care if he was breaking her rules. When they met like that, in the light of their single, shared lifeforce, it transformed their lovemaking into something pure and sacred. He couldn't not have her body close to him after their very souls embraced. Rey let him wrap his arms around her, sighing with sated pleasure as he kissed her neck and temple and the top of her head.

      “Ben,” she started quietly after a long tender moment. “I think you need to make peace with Kylo. I know he's there, you're trying to keep him chained down, but it's not going to work forever.”

       He sighed against her hair, then breathed in, inhaling her clean scent.

       “I know. I've been afraid of the light for so long, now I'm afraid of the dark.”

       “Then you have to face it. You have to make peace with your past.” She rolled over to face him. “I remember.  _ ‘Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.’ _ I don't think killing Kylo is the answer.”

       “I can't kill him. You did mostly,  but... there will always be some part of me that's dark. I've tried so hard-”

       “I know. And you've come a long way. Maybe too far.” She reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair back behind his ear. “Powerful light, powerful dark, and in between… balance.”

       “I don't know how it's so easy for you… You went into that cave on Ahch-To and came out with barely a scar. Maybe it's the mighty Skywalker blood. We're all drawn to the darkness.”

       “I have an idea,” she said slowly, as if it were just forming. “We're going to take a field trip. Us, the apprentices and Soran.”

       “To Ahch-To.” He could see the idea forming in her mind. “But why Soran? He's not an apprentice. Why risk it?”

       “Risk what?”

       “You want to take a self-confessed Dark Force user to a sacred island with a source of powerful darkness?” He stared at her, his eyes wide with concern. Rey bit her lip and chuckled softly.

        “Are you referring to yourself, or Soran?”

        Ben blinked.

        “Fine.”

         He started to get up, sitting up on the edge of the bed, but Rey wasn't done talking, apparently. She reached over and grabbed his hand and he turned. He could tell by the way she tamped down on the bond that he wouldn't like what she had to say.

         “I want to offer him knighthood. He already has the training, if he can face trials of the light and the dark, why not make use of it? He can help us train the others. No, no, let me finish!” 

         She yelled over him as he started to argue. 

         “I want to graduate Kirin, too. If they both pass, we can have… I don't know. Some kind of ceremony. I think… this mission, it’s more than just rescuing Pashi. Kirin has been a slave her whole life. Let her be something else before we face the rathtar den.”

         He frowned, distracted. 

         “What kind of trials?”

         She explained. He listened, sharing advice on certain aspects, vetoing others. While they were talking, they got dressed, and since it seemed like the idea was going to stick, Ben got out his notebook and made some notes. 

         “There's one more thing,” Rey said as they reached a natural lull in the conversation. Ben had a feeling he knew what was coming, and he found himself unsurprised. 

         “Yes,” he said before she could say it. “We'll face the Trials too.”


	27. The Red Rage of Compassion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot going on here and I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter, but after rewriting it like ten times, I think I'm just gonna have to be satisfied by imperfection.
> 
> Kirin is terrifying again. The Red Hand gets some of that vegeance they deserve, with the help of some Force-imprinted trauma. 
> 
> Thalia is like the only Knight actively involved with administrative duties. The creepy twins are... still creepy, but also sad. Everyone is sad... or in the words of Kirin... "Fuck the Force."
> 
> Next chapter: Soran gets to battle Mrs. Solo, if her jealous, possessive husband can get out of the way for ten seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... there's a little but of everything here... depictions of gorey wounds, vengeace with Sith techniques, underage prostitution, slavery, pregnancy... It's really no worse than an episode of Criminal Minds, but juuuuuuust to be safe, reader be warned.
> 
> I imagined Kirin's dark and light side a bit like Te Ka/Te Fiti from Moana. They stole her heart, after all.
> 
> The voices Kirin hears are actual quotes, some from my own series but most from various Star Wars media. I imagine them all flowing around like a tornado of cinematic clips of sound and visions. Those moments were all imprinted by overwhelming emotional trauma from other Force users, and Kirin experiences them through her empathy as she draws on the Force in the dreamworld which kinda operates on different levels.
> 
> Remember that Weird Force Magic/Weird Plot Shit tag? Yeah. Force empathy is cannonically a thing, Force dreams are a Legends thing, but I'm really just making this whole dreamwalking empath thing up because the concept of a powerful Force Knight with no lightsaber or combat practice intrigued me. Kirin's character is partly inspired by an Eclipse Caste Exalted (Exalted is a tabletop RPG by White Wolf) character I once had, and by the end of the game she was easily the most terrifying member of the circle.

      Kirin was curled up in her meditation chair, slim legs tucked under her, with a soft furry blanket covering her lap. Master Ben was on the floor beside her, his back against the wall, and Genji leaned watchfully against the doorway, ready to stand guard over them both. She finished the last of the tea she was drinking and carefully floated the cup down to the floor. Ben looked up at her, his dark eyes vigilant despite having already downed his own tea.

        “Are you ready?”

        “As much as I can be, I guess.”

        “Good.” He beckoned to Genji to come closer. “Focus on Pashi. The most vivid memories you have.” She glanced away, blushing furiously, and he nodded without meeting her eyes. “Yes, those, too. I won't look.”

        She closed her eyes and summoned images of the training room on the _Finalizer_ , the humid, wood-scented guest house on Kashyyyk where she had experienced the most wonderful night in her short life. The gold scroll-work tattoos twining over sinowy, strong muscles. Her smell of fuel cells and the mint-flavored chocolates she always had in her pockets.

        Vaguely, she was aware of Ben instructing Genji on how to control and maintain a Force-assisted sleep, and then her mind was blank for a while, drifting on a current of white clouds surrounded by stars on all sides.

         **_Kirin._ **

        She was aware of her master's voice, even though she couldn't see him, and she had the sense of some kind of towering, predatory beast stalking protectively beside her.

        **_Look at the stars. Pashi is out there, somewhere._ **

       There were so many stars. Reaching out, she could feel the emotional energy of a countless multitude of beings, billions of lifeforms across thousands of planets. But her target wasn't on a planet. Her masters had discussed the first dream, and they had both agreed that despite having a guide, it was possible Kirin could travel through dreams on her own. That wasn't surprising, she had confessed to sneaking into the dreams of sleeping clients when she could, stealing knowledge of languages, glimpses of other worlds. Another rare talent the Force had seen fit to burden her with. But to do it across the vastness of space… It was worth trying, at least.

        Despite the fact that Rey was there when she spoke to Sabine, Kirin felt reluctant to tell them about Ezra. The Knights of Ren had enough problems already, and he was adamant that there was nothing anyone could do to help him. But if she couldn't reach Pashi on her own, she would have to seek him out, and with Ben there listening to her thoughts, she wouldn't have the focus or energy to hide him.

         _Pashi..._

        Kirin pulled on the Force as much as she was able. The dreamworld was different,the Force had no dark or light, it simply _was_. Another idea occurred to her, and though the very taste of it disgusted her, she knew she had to try. Pashi existed on one axis, a ball of quiet green and gold light in the distance, but there was another energy Kirin was just as familiar with near her. The cruel, inky miasma of pure selfishness and boundless arrogance. By seeking the combination of Dralnu’s oily darkness and Pashi’s stubborn vibrancy, she found them.

        _They had moved her to the medbay, and had several IVs plugged into her. Kirin gasped at the sight, and she quickly put her hand over her mouth, but it was too late. Those disarming dark eyes blinked open, settling quickly on her._

_“Kirin?” She murmured doubtfully. “Eh… crap, I'm hallucinating. I wonder if they care?”_

_“No, I'm here,” she said quickly, moving to touch the swollen, bandaged mess of her girlfriend's hand. She frowned, eyes searching wildly. Hadn't it been her right hand…? She suppressed a sharp cry when she saw the matching bandages. Pashi gave a faint grimace._

_“I guess I won't be… mastering Jar’Kai anytime soon…” she managed. Her eyes were glazed and her voice hoarse and strangled. Kirin glanced at the electronic IV machine and glowered._

_“That's a dangerously high dose of painkillers.” She peered at it, trying to decide if it was worth the attempt to influence any of Pashi's physical surroundings. She got a strong sense that she wouldn't be able to._

_“Nah, I've had stronger. Don't tell Kayt, though.” She raised her arm towards Kirin, then winced and dropped it. Kirin rushed over, gently laying her hands over Pashi's injuries. The girl's distinctly human eyes watched her, then she lifted a head tail and tentatively reached out. Kirin leaned in, winding her own longer, slimmer appendage around it. Pashi stared over them and smiled. “They look so pretty that way. Like pink sand and ocean waves. Why are you here? Are you even here?”_

_“I'm in a Force dream. I don't know if you're awake or dreaming too. I was here once before, but you were sleeping. Ez… Ahsoka brought me.”_

_She didn't have time to explain that Soran was involved, or how she knew him, or whatever was going on with his shared consciousness. She could feel her Master's acknowledgement of the lie, and silently promised to explain later._

_“Ahsoka… Did you know Anakin Skywalker was… a slave?” The drugs were clearly working on her thoughts, she could hardly keep focused enough to finish a sentence._

_“No.”_

_“I wonder what Master Ben would think?”_

_“I don't know, you'll have to ask him some day.”_

_She felt him smirking wherever he was, watching over their interaction but unable to influence it. Pashi's face grew dark, and Kirin felt her heart breaking._

_“Don't give up, little nightbird, please! I'm here to help you!”_

_But Pashi was shaking her head, refusing to meet Kirin's gaze._

_“I don't know what you can do in a dream. I don't have much fight left.” She sighed, finally dragging her gaze back to Kirin. “Kiss me. I want to remember… at least we had that one night…”_

_“NO! No, be quiet! I survived and you will too!” She took Pashi's face in her hands and kissed everywhere, her eyes, her cheeks, her jaw. Her cracked lips. “I'm going to help you. Let me hold your hands.”_

_Her eyes had closed while Kirin was kissing her, now they opened with mild curiosity as she moved both hands over her stomach where Kirin could touch them._

_“What are you doing? These collars block the Force.”_

_“They block you from using the Force. They don't block me from using it on you.”_

_She closed her eyes and let her shields contract, drawing them in until she could feel just herself and Pashi and the shadowy Kylo Ren beast pacing somewhere behind her. The damage was awful. Even a skilled surgical droid would have difficulty reconstructing either hand to full use. The right would be harder because it had begun to heal, but the left was freshly damaged, the bones not just splintered, but crushed in a vice. Her voice broke in a half sob before she could reign it in._

_“Yeah, that's what the opiates are for. Because I keep going unconscious from the pain,” Pashi explained softly._

_Kirin could sense the black beast that shared her dream growling. She opened her eyes, taking in the resigned, hopeless expression on Pashi’s face, the bright spark of mischief faded to a struggling flicker. The quiet beep of the machine pouring more drugs into her system, and her soft sigh of relief._

_The monster behind her bared its teeth._

_Something inside her snapped like a broken damn, and she dropped to her knees, burying her face in the coarse blanket of the medbay bench, unable to restrain the torrent of tears, and unable to care. No. No. It was too much. The world couldn't be like this, she refused to allow it. Suddenly she was surrounded by whispers, resounding through the Force like the day she'd found the Jedi books, some voices she recognized, other she did not. Half-formed visions of the past, the fears of the present and a thousand possible futures..._

**_People think it's lucky to have the Force, but the universe isn't very kind to us._ **

**_My greatest love, and my greatest regret._ **

**_Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate..._ **

**_Strike me down now and I'll always be with you… just like…_ **

**_Your father..._ **

**_We all know what his father was like._ **

**_Death comes to all of us, Nera._ **

**_I won't leave you again, Master._ **

**_These are the first steps..._ **

**_I thought I'd find answers there..._ **

**_If you wanted them to live, you would have left them the crown._ **

**_I've given you everything... everything I have..._ **

**_What have you done?_ **

**_Let the past die. Kill it if you have to._ **

**_Need met with hate._ **

**_You pay and you take._ **

**_She's right-handed. We'll start there._ **

**_Let me show you something._ **

_Blindly, numb with seventeen years of being overwhelmed by dark, violent, hateful emotions and having nothing to fight back with but her own internal light, Kirin reached out. Something within her, something she buried deep and starved in the hope that it would rot away, a rage born of too much compassion, bubbled to the surface like molten magma, consuming everything that held it it back. She turned to the black beast behind her, and found recognition in its eyes. One monster to another. She bowed before it, apprentice to master, and it watched impassively as the demon of vengeance and fire swept through the transport, gathering flickers of light from every hostile mind it found._

_She realized, when she returned to her injured lover and gently fed the collected energy to her, that there were other lifeforms on the transport still. Bright, innocent lifeforms free of the oil-slick stain of ruthlessness and cruelty._

_The captured energy pooled around Pashi, sinking slowly into her wounds like water soaked up by dry soil, but there was too much left. She had to put it somewhere. The innocents she had left alive, their bodies were bruised and malnourished as well. She gave it all, healing the injured and revitalizing spirits. And then she found the few individuals with a Force signature, free from the collars, and she left them with Ezra’s words._

**_The collars prevent the wearer from accessing the Force. They don't stop the Force from being used on the wearer._ **

 

      She opened her eyes to find herself in bed, her head against something warm and soft and furry. Genji warbled in relief, peering down at her, and she couldn't help but smile.

     “You make a lovely pillow, Genji.”

     Her eyes moved, slowly, to the other presence in the room. Ben Solo leaned against the wall at the foot of the bed, arms crossed over his chest.

     “Have a nice nap?”

     “Nice? _Nice?_ ”

     “Ah, there it is.” He cocked his head, studying her. Somewhere, the black beast looked down upon the fire demon, and nodded its approval. “You did well. Very well. Get some rest. Come to me… when you're ready to talk.”

     He didn't say it, but she didn't need him too, and she knew he would keep the demon’s existence secret, and maybe teach her to keep it under control. She remembered the feeling of the leash held firmly in Ben Solo’s hand. It could be done. She had done it. But even well-trained animals slipped the leash sometimes, and now that she knew it was there… She understood why she had always been so carefully nonviolent her whole life, why she refused to wield any weapons or learn anything combative besides basic levitation tricks. It was either that, or be angry all the time, lash out at everything, because compassion and empathy demanded the universe be something it was not, and all the energy of the Force itself could not change the cruelty of existence. Nor did it seek it. No, the _Force_ only wanted _Balance_.

     “Fuck the Force,” she muttered into Genji’s soft fur. He stroked her head and warbled soothingly, as she turned her face into his chest and _wailed_ . Everything, _everything_ in her entire existence had been so gods-damned _difficult_ , now she had to cope with this too.   

      She wanted to be angry, so she was. But unlike Ben Solo, she didn't rage on the outside. She raged within, hot tears of torment and injustice and helplessness boiled up from within and seared her face. For her sister, whom she had tried to save. For the woman who gave birth to them and might have been a parent if she had not been a spice addict first.

       For the sisters who had shared her chains. The hope slowly strangled from those who fought. The slow descent into madness and apathy of those who didn't. Always, _always_ , she tried. To soothe, to comfort, to manipulate and draw away. It never made a difference, but she couldn't stop. Because even when she stopped, it _hurt_ . Was that _balance_? Pain for pleasure, apathy for agency? She cried, and hated it, and cried more. Oceans of regret, oceans of enraged compassion. An open wound, slowly leaking lifetimes of poison.

       When she had cried herself to a state that was more gasping sobs than wailing, her body physically incapable of producing the moisture necessary for more tears, Genji shared with her the Wookie understanding of the Force, and how the word itself, in their language, simply meant _divinity, life, creation._ It could be used to mean a blessing or a curse, but usually, it simply meant both. Then he used the ship's console to order some fruit juice and hot soup, and made lie down under a pile of blankets.

  


      “Please, Master… Masters. Is there nothing we can do?”

      Thalia paced the hall outside Kirin's quarters, finally understanding why the diminutive Twi'lek felt the need to isolate herself in a room so far removed from the rest of the ship’s residents. Rey sighed from within the wall of Ben's long arms, her own cheeks as damp as her students', and spared a glance upwards at him. Master Solo gave a slight shake of his head, holding her closer. His eyes were dry, but slightly unfocused, gaze fixed down at the floor with his wife's head tucked under his chin.

     “It's a rare ability,” long-haired Lucien said, glancing down the hall. “Some say it's a curse, not a gift.”

     Thalia blinked as everyone turned their attention the two girls. Lucien leaned against the wall, while Kyza sat cross-legged on the floor beside her. Apart from the same facial features and brilliant green eyes, the sisters couldn't have been more different. Thalia was shocked to find they were only fourteen, children of an exiled Mandalorian house, born on Onderon and captured at the age of four. Rescued from slavery in a brothel, Lucien had already given birth the previous year to a child she wasn't even allowed to look at.

         They had joined the Knights informally for now as Rey and Ben thought it best for them to watch and observe before they took any sincere vows. Privately, Thalia thought they would join, Kyza was very interested in lightsabers and Lucien wanted fiercely to hunt down every last member of the Red Hand.

          “Where did you hear that?” Ben queried with interest.

          “Our mother was a Guardian of the Whills on Jedha,” Kyza supplied. “Before the Empire destroyed the temple there. The _real_ temple.”

           Ben and Rey shared a look, and Thalia wondered if they were doing that thing again, where they talked to each other through their Force Bond. Soran whistled softly.

           “The Whills? That's about as esoteric as the Force gets. Did your mother happen to explain anything about them?” Soran prodded.

           “We were kidnapped when we were four years old,” Kyza said dryly. “So, no. But they let Lucien keep her journal. No one else can make sense of it anyway, so it was worthless to Dralnu.”

           Thalia watched the exchange with blatant curiosity, despite the torrent of unfettered emotion battering at her admittedly lacking mental shields. She had never even heard of anything called the Whills. But of course, the Masters had.

           “Do you still have that journal, Lucien?” Ben asked in his soft, pointed tone. The girl gave a half-shrug.

          “It's all in an ancient script. I can read parts, but…”

          “I'd still like to see it. We have another book that makes mention of the Whills,” he explained. Both twins’ eyebrows went up.

          “I have it,” the purple-haired girl said softly. “You can see it, if I can see the book you have.”

          “Of course. Provided you choose to join the Knights.”

          “Ben,” Rey warned softly.

          “You agreed-”

          “Yes, but now's not the time.”

          They all grimaced as another wave of anguish surged through the Force. Thalia gasped, tears springing to her eyes.

          “This is awful,” she complained. “How can you all be so calm?”

          Rey leaned her head against her husband's chest and sighed, while Kyza reached up for Lucien’s waiting hand. The Stormtrooper-turned-student felt a brief flare of jealousy, wishing she had someone to draw such comforts from. Her life as a Stormtrooper hadn't really encouraged romantic relationships, and she had thought the same would be expected of the Knights, given the famed Jedi teachings about attachments. The closest thing she had to an actual friend was the trooper now going by Kit, but he was less Force-sensitive than a piece of durasteel, and he preferred men romantically anyway.

        This was the first time she had ever entertained even the possibility of pursuing such passions. She found herself frightened more than anything. If the waves of agony and dark emotion pouring from Kirin had anything to do with her attachment to her girlfriend, Thalia wasn't sure she wanted anything to do with having a partner like that. Truthfully, she had never really had those kinds of feelings, not even on her own at night or in the shower, although she'd heard the banter between her fellow soldiers, knew vaguely what to touch and where, she had never tried it. Maybe a partner would make it more interesting, but it really just seemed like a more complicated version of friendship that she wanted no part of.

         “Go find something to do, Thalia,” Soran grumbled irritably from further down the hall. “You're basically the quartermaster of this ship, aren't you? Find some closets to catalogue.”

         “Don't be cruel,” Rey admonished him sharply as Thalia drew a stunned breath.

         But her husband looked up, glancing towards the other darksider with an expression of mild surprise.

 

          Ben looked around, at Thalia pacing the hall, at Lucien and Kyza holding hands tightly, leaning against each other for comfort just as Rey was leaning against him. Arran had come with them when Kirin's tug on the Force drew them, but he'd taken a few steps into the hall and then wisely fled in the opposite direction. Ben was beginning to think maybe the young man had the right idea.

         “He's right. We should all find something to do.”

         “Hoth must have melted to ash,” Soran’s frown smoothed slightly, his piercing blue eyes meeting Ben's. “Ben Solo is agreeing with me.”

         Rey pulled out of his embrace and nodded at Thalia.

         “I think they're right. There's still the ancillary medbay and the aft munitions compartments to inventory. Someone should check in with Poe, too.” Her eyes were sympathetic, but firm. “Genji is with her. They both deserve our faith.”

         “In that case, I wonder if you would do me the courtesy of a friendly sparring match, Mrs. Solo?” Soran's expression was hard to read, but his eyes remained firmly on Rey and Rey alone, although Ben leveled a glower at him that could have felled an army of Armitage Huxes. She inclined her head with a slight smile.

         “Ben defeated you, and you want to battle me?”

         “Let's say I'm a masochist,” he returned her smile.

         “Really?” She responded dryly. “Me too.”

          _There's no need to share personal details,_ he snapped over the Bond.

         “I never would have guessed,” Soran replied with an equally emotionless tone.

          _Yes, because it's such a big secret. You leave bruises, you know._

         “Absolutely not.” Ben made his voice as flat as possible.

          _You like it when I mark you!_

_Did it ever occur to you why I might enjoy showing off the evidence of Ben Solo’s possession of me?_

_I still don't trust him-_

         “You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do,” Rey snapped, rising. “And there's no reason I shouldn't take him up on the offer.”

          _You're either afraid I'll get hurt, or afraid I'll hurt him and he'll do some dark Dathomiri Force magic. Neither of those are valid concerns. If you really want to make an issue out of it… You can make sure and reinforce your claim on my body later._

A thousands answers flitted through his mind, but he knew she was right. Ben sighed and got to his feet as well.

         “Fine. We might as well all take the opportunity to watch.”

          He jerked his head for the others to join them.

          _Don't tire yourself out._

_Hah. Must I remind you I'm ten years younger? And Soran's even older._

         “If it's alright, I'm going to go ahead and do what Master Rey suggested,” Thalia looked to him for permission. He gave a nod.

       “You've got plenty of combat training, so you're not missing much." His lips curved slightly. "Unless you have a desperate need to watch Soran lose horribly."

       "We can wait for you," Rey offered.

       “I appreciate it, but I should comm General Dameron and round up some inventory crews.”

        Ben knew she was still working with Kit to hash out permanent postings and schedules, so for now there were always a few people wandering around with no real task. Running an entire Star Destroyer, even at a quarter of its capacity, required a fully-trained bridge crew and chain of command and Thalia, Ben and Kit were the only ones qualified to interview and assign staff.

        They had all been shocked to find Captain Peavey in the briefing room the second day of interviews, quietly seated on the same side of the table as Kit. The grumpy old Empire-era relic saw no conflict in the goals of the Knights and the standards and ideals he had followed in the First Order, and seemed to see the transfer as a sort of quasi-retirement. Ben had immediately assigned him to the bridge, after a tense moment of teaching Thalia to skim the man's surface thoughts for hostilities.

         “Go ahead, Thalia. Make sure the bridge crew knows there's nothing to worry about.” He could only imagine their reaction to every Force-sensitive person on the ship running off in the same direction. "Pass the message on to Kayt Baasen and Genji's grandmother, as well. I don't know if they're sensitive enough to have felt anything, but it can't hurt to reassure them that we were successful in reaching Pashi.”

          “I will, Master Solo.”

         She nodded respectfully to both masters before turning away. If she was overwhelmed by suddenly finding herself in a de facto commanding role over officers and troopers whom she had expected to serve under, at the young age of seventeen no less, she covered it well. Commander - _Commandant_ \- Sloane had seen her potential long before so it wasn't really a surprise. She had quickly come to accept her responsibilities, shouldering the brunt of the administrative work so the other Knights could carry out their own training, providing a sound interface between the officers and the Force Knights.

         He turned to Rey again.

         “You go ahead. I'll let Genji know where to find us.”


	28. Unexpected Results

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, sweet vengeance. Except Dralnu, but no worries. That mofo is going down soon.
> 
> STFU, Ben. Seriously, just go stand in the corner or something.

     The first thing Pashi noticed upon waking was the lack of the collar. She reached for the Force like a starving child clutching a bowl of soup, not really using it, just wrapping herself around its warmth. It filled her with light and warmth and courage, and something about it was so very, breathtakingly familiar. Ribbons of violet swam before her closed eyes, the soft scent of something dusky and floral filling her nose.

_ “Kirin?” _

      “She's awake!” Cried a voice that was definitely not Kirin's, but also not at all frightening. 

      When she opened her eyes, she was in the same dirty medbay, but her body was fully covered by several layers of blankets, and when she lifted her bandaged hands, she gasped. The bandages were gone, but so was the damage, bones knit and muscle and sinew rewoven like nothing had happened. She held them out before her, sitting up to flex her fingers, turning them over to examine the smooth, paler blue skin of her palms.

      “They crushed your hands,” said the same, excited voice. 

       Pashi turned to see a young Togruta with startling violet eyes and sage green striped horns curled up on a rusty bench beside her. She pointed to piles of blood-soaked bandages on the bed beside where Pashi's hands had rested.

_ It came back to her all at once. Kirin had come into her dreams, softly curling her pale pink hands over Pashi's bulky bandages, her bright eyes glittering with tears. Pashi had barely been able to muster the strength to care. _

_       And then, a flash of rage, blinding, followed by the harsh, terrified screams of the crew. Energy began to fill her, flowing over her hands, easing the bits and pieces back together… It hadn't hurt, exactly, but the shock of it, feeling pieces of her bones sliding against each other… She must have gone into shock. _

      Her eyes found the girl's, noticing the lack of a collar on her as well, although there was a pale outline, as if she had worn one for some time. Pashi frowned.

      “Did you do it?” The girl asked eagerly.

      “Do what?” Then she glanced at her hands and shook her head. “No. No, but… I know who did.”

      “Oh. Some of the others thought it started here, so it must have come from you.” She hesitated. “I'm Mela, by the way.”

      “My name is Pashi. Can you tell me what else happened, Mela? Why are we…” her hand traced her neck, and she noticed Mela’s do the same. “Why are we free? What happened to Dralnu and his thugs?”

      “The lady who healed us, she told us that the collars…”

      “...only block the wearer from accessing the Force. You can still have the Force used on you,” she finished. She wasn't sure where she'd heard that, but the girl's nod confirmed it. “They're dead, aren't they? The Red Hand.”

      “No, just the ones here,” Mela corrected. “At least, we think so.”

      “You think?”

      “Dralnu got away with the piloting console. That's one of his tricks. All the navigational material and piloting is in a separate capsule so when the alarms go off, he just-”

       “Gets away again,” finished a voice from the hallway. 

       Pashi climbed to her feet, noticing she was still naked under the blankets. She wrapped one around herself, mostly for warmth, as the owner of the new voice stepped through the door. She was a slim, white-haired and gray-skinned humanoid, a race Pashi didn't immediately recognize, covered in head to toe black tribal tattoos. She wore a hodge-podge of clothing obviously scavenged from their dead captors. In her hand was a pair of fairly unstained canvas coveralls, which she held out for Pashi.

       “So, you're not the Sith, then?” The woman looked disappointed. Pashi studied her as she dressed in the dead mechanic’s clothes, and tried not to think of who wore them previously. At least they were warm.

       “I'm not, but I know some. Well, they're not really Sith, but-”

       “That was some powerful dark Force magic,” the white-haired woman insisted, handing Pashi a pair of oversized socks as well. “Are you telling me whoever did this - killed the guards, healed us and gave us our freedom - isn't even on board with us?”

       “Nope. But you might know her. Her name is Kirin. Pastel pink skin, purple eyes, waaayyy more Force empathy than anyone should ever be cursed with?”

       The woman’s jaw dropped momentarily, but then a slow, not-quite-pleasant smile stretched her lips, and she laughed.

       “I knew when she broke it would be glorious. Terrible, and glorious.” She licked her lips and smiled again. Her expression was still a little unnerving.

       “Teekala is a seer,” little Mela explained. 

       “Ohh,” Pashi nodded. 

        She had seen Force-sensitive divinations before, and it seemed all those gifted in such a way came slowly unhinged. Now that she thought about it, she recognized the tattoos. She had seen similar markings before, in some of Soran’s belongings. Gray skin, white hair. She had never seen a Dathomiri witch before, but Teekala seemed to fit the description.

       “You are Pashi, of course.” 

        She stiffened as the woman hugged her instead of taking the hand that was offered. Teekala was shockingly thin under her scavenged clothing, but Pashi could feel what her loose clothing was hiding, a swollen roundness of her abdomen. The Force witch was pregnant, maybe halfway through the gestation period, if the Dathomiri were like other humanoid women.

       “Teekala from the Central Temple?” She asked, suddenly gripping the bony woman tight. The pieces had fallen together rapidly in her mind when she realized she was a Force witch. Teekala shuddered suddenly, yanking herself back to peer into Pashi's face searchingly with her red eyes. She had sensed or seen something familiar as well, and she embraced Pashi again with even more enthusiasm.

      “Yes! Aha, I knew this day would come. You and I, we are family!” She turned and spoke in broken Huttese to whoever was waiting beyond the door, her bony arm firmly over Pashi's shoulders.

       “This is my cousin, Pashi Baasen! Apprentice to the Masters of Ren! Do not fear, my sisters! Our time has come!” As she was dragged out under the arm of her new  cousin, she felt the girl reach for her hand, and looked down.

       “I knew you were special,” Mela said softly. She looked up at Pashi pleadingly for a moment, and on pure, uncharacteristic instinct, she ducked out of Teekala’s embrace momentarily to hoist the child in her arms.

      “Can you get us home?” Mela asked softly in her ear as Pashi smiled and hugged and shook hands and bowed, overwhelmed with the sense of a strained, fragile victory. Maybe she was a seer too, because she had a feeling there was more to come. The thugs were gone, but they had no navigator or piloting equipment, making them essentially a giant storage crate floating in an undocumented route.

     “Where's home?” She whispered back as soon as she could. 

     “I don't know,” Mela admitted. “Not here.”

     “I will find a home for everyone here,” she promised. 

      It was a promise she could keep. She couldn't help herself, laughter bubbled up from her chest, and she was smiling. Dralnu must have lost his mind when he decided to keep her rather than kill her. 

      “My godmother is a Wookie from Kashyyyk and my godfather was born on Ryloth. A long time ago, during the old Empire, they came into conflict with another bunch of Red Hand slavers. They freed their slaves, and stole… I don't know, an impossibly large amount of credits from them. Under the Empire, the people of Ryloth and Kashyyyk were mostly enslaved. So my godfather - Uncle Vasto - and my godmother who shares my name, they set up a system, through a bunch of shell corporations and lawless hives like Nar Shadda. I don't know exactly how it works, but I know if you go to a cantina on Nar Shadda, or Ord Mantell, or Dantooine, or a bunch of other places, you can ask for passage to Taris. You'll get a brand new identity, fifteen-thousand credits’ worth of trade cargo, and passage on a clean ship to almost anywhere in the galaxy.”

       She hadn't realized they had all stopped talking to listen to her, but she noticed the brief silence, followed by a  _ barrage _ of questions. Finally, she decided they were wasting time, and leaned over to whisper to her shoulder sprite.

      “There's circuitry controlling the life support and auxiliary systems, right?”

      The Togruta girl nodded. She shouted again, then jumped up on a bench to get their attention, Mela still clinging to her tightly.

       “I need to locate every console, every wiring panel, every utility breaker box we have left. We've got to get a signal out to our people, before the  _ wrong  _ people find us first.”

  
  


        Rey spun her staff, more in a display of skill than for any tactical benefit. Soran was good, and he was slimmer and shorter than Ben, making him less of a target. But that also meant she had the advantage of reach.

       Sweat plastered flyaway bits of hair to her forehead, and pooled down between her breasts. She had kept her undershirt on for the sake of Ben's sanity, but under it she wore only her chest wrap and cropped, tight undershorts. He would just have to get over it, she was not going to spar with an untested opponent and ruin her good clothes if she didn't have too. The potential new apprentices watched with varying degrees of interest, although she had noted Kyza’s appreciative gasp when she switched the saberstaff to it's single red spear to block a downward strike. Arran seemed disinterested, thpugh he had taken the oath of thr Knights immediately, and she wondered if he would be like Kirin, trained to be soft and yielding with a strong aversion to violence. Ben, of course, was watching intently, through his own eyes and hers, although she was debating kicking him out of her head.

       Soran lifted his blade in a testing strike and she twisted away when he was expecting her to block, leaving an opening at his shoulder. The tip of her violet-white blade singed his sweat-soaked undershirt, but he backed off before it his skin.

_ Press him, you still have the advantage.  _

_        I can see that. _

__ She wheeled, striking again while his blade was low, but he managed to turn into her, ducking beneath the reach of her weapon to strike at her legs. Rey dropped and rolled away, but Soran was on her in an instant, clearly thinking he had the upper hand now that she was on the ground and he was above her.

_ You pulled your strike, you could have had him- _

_        This is a sparring match, not a battle. I would have sliced his arm off. _

_        He would have- _

__ Rey grunted in frustration, flipping back to the spear-like red end as she surged up into a crouch, parrying his strike and throwing her shoulder against his legs. She hit harder than she intended, a sickening  _ thunk _ of bone on bone, and he crashed to the ground with a sharp cry of pain. As soon as she was on her feet, she had her blade leveled at him. But Soran couldn't seem to get to his feet, wincing in pain as he tried. Fearing it might be a trick, she let the Force guide her, swiftly stamping her foot on his wrist as he rolled to his side in another attempt to get to his feet. His lightsaber powered down and he fell back, panting.

       “He was right, you're better than him.”

_ He's tricking you, his saber’s still in his hand. _

_        Stop distracting me! _

__  Suddenly Soran was on his feet again, and Rey grimaced. She had lost momentum and she had a bad feeling it was about to cost her the match. He swung and she backed away, never a good move. Swiftly, he backed her right into the wall. But Rey had been in this position before. She let the Force guide her, searching for the right opening to drop under him, letting go of her staff hilt to catch it, rapidly activating the longer blue blade to his chest even as he leaned down with his blade hissing against the sweat of her neck.

        For a moment they both grinned, thinking to have won, before Rey felt the tingle along her neck and Soran noticed the blue light leveled at his heart. He smiled in genuine surprise.

        “Draw?”

        “I suppose so,” she said with a grim smile.


	29. Too Much Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, Phasma!
> 
> I feel like Ben and Soran should be over it by now, but I am really enjoying the angsty glowering.
> 
> Oh, fuck... An army of obedient Force-users? Under Hux’s control? Good thimg that SOB is locked up tight, right...?
> 
> If video games and pop culture have taught me anything, it's to always kill the bad guys when you have the chance. Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: brief mentions of slavery and forced pregnancy.

        Phasma had nursed several expectations regarding her new position of planetary exile, but she found very few of them came into being. Without the magnates and casino bosses to run them, the still-standing venues were empty and looted. The rebels had claimed the nicest of quarters for themselves, but there were so few of them after everyone of wealth had fled, the first thing she had done was consolidate them all into one hotel and concentrate resources there.

         Once they had running water and electricity back, the children were more open to listening to her, and she had gathered the most capable - the Togruta, Shaya, and her friends, who had the nerve to accost Phasma on her first trip here - and given them actual jobs, with pay and schedules. Once the others realized the First Order would  _ pay them _ for a job with far less hours and the same comfortable quarters, they had come around as well. Commandant Sloane had opened recruitment facilities, and Phasma made sure to offer all accepted soldiers the option of serving as planetary security. Some accepted, some went on to other things, but there were enough for each patrol to have a few locals.

         Now it was time to make Canto Bight… Canto Bight, again. A new Canto Bight, that didn't make Phasma want to build a Deathstar with its name on it. The First Order wasn't really in the business of indefinite charity work, so it needed to start making revenue fast. Sloane had made it very clear she expected Phasma to restore some profitable enterprises within the next year, and in order to do that they first had to  _ clean up _ the city, in a very literal sense. 

         She stood up in the saddle of her fathier to survey the progress on the main boulevard as work crews swept the streets and overseers with datapads took inventory of the looted storefronts. There were three hotels on this street besides the one she had commandeered for housing. They were some of Canto Bight’s finer establishments, and more importantly, the base structures were built to last. Fire and looting may have destroyed the lobbies and street fronts, but very few looters had bothered to go through all thirty or so stories of rooms.

          She turned to the girl on the fathier beside her, who was diligently taking down notes on the state of each building and the probable repairs necessary.

          “Get me a list of the legal owners of these places,” she tapped a finger to her lips.                  

           They would have to decide whether to allow the magnates back in after the First Order cleaned the place up, or if they would simply buy them out and have their own people run it. She remembered that Ben Solo had secured financing from the banking sectors as well as private donors, and decided she would need to go over her ideas with Sloane. That was fine, she needed to make her report anyway.

          “Make sure we get an accurate assessment of each building,” she instructed her assistant. “And continue the approved safety measures. I don't want any more accidents like last week.”

           Several of her troopers and one of the laborers had fallen through the unstable burned-out floor of one of the hotels, causing mostly minor injuries, but recovering them and getting them to medical had been a frustrating, lengthy task.

           “Yes, ma'am,” the girl nodded, concentrating on her task. 

           She glanced up suddenly and Phasma caught the quick movement as the girl's eyes narrowed on a particular crew loitering in the shattered window of a jewelry store. The officer opened her mouth, then hesitated, curious to see how the scene would unfold.

           “Oy! Chihiru! Looting is over! Anything you find now is the property of the First Order. Go on and do the right thing and hand it over.” She nudged her fathier forward, over the rubble, and leaned down to collect the item. “Don't think I didn't see you pocket things, too. Come on, now.”

           Sheepishly, the boy passed her the gem necklace in his hand and then dug the rest from his pockets. Phasma watched, feeling a rather unfamiliar emotion in her chest. Pride, perhaps? Or satisfaction with her efforts here, at least. She knew the boy would probably keep at least one gem or two regardless of the supervisor’s sharp eyes, but the point had been made. 

          They were well on their way to policing their own, and Phasma was looking forward to the day where she could recline in comfort in the top floor suite she had claimed, performing deskwork and relaxing in her private hot tub. She turned her riding beast back towards home and it moved obediently, just as responsive to regular feeding times and a lighter workload as the slaves. 

          Perhaps Sloane's vision for the future wasn't as hopelessly idealistic as Phasma had first thought. Given a semblance of order and the safety that came with a well-regulated police force, the rebels of Cantonica had been more than happy to submit to the laws and governance of the First Order. Given a few years of rebuilding and the planet would be an excellent source of tax revenue for the Order’s needy accounts. 

 

 

     The caretakers on Ahch-To were not pleased to see Rey again. Nor did they seem pleased that she had brought more of these quasi-Jedi, but they didn’t interfere as Rey led the rest of them to the mountain top. She had tried to time it correctly, so that they would have the night to rest and adjust to the island’s strange, ancient Force energy before beginning at dawn. Genji and Thalia had come along, although neither were prepared to take the step from apprentice to fully-invested knight.

      They had stayed up all night and half of the next day after Kirin's dream-walk, working out plans, solidifying Rey’s vague outline, bouncing around ideas until they both had agreed on what felt  _ right _ . Mostly, it was simple.

She went to Luke’s hut hesitantly to look around, but decided she couldn’t stay there. Instead, they replaced the tomes Rey had stolen with the rest of Luke’s things, leaving a kind of shrine. A droid had painstakingly made digital copies of every page and uploaded them to their new archive system, and Rey’s conscience rested better knowing they were back where they belonged, even if Luke had destroyed the tree where she had originally found them. Ben had reclaimed the hut she had been using previously, rebuilt by the caretakers, and she let the others sort out sleeping arrangements for themselves. When everyone was settled, they built a small bonfire in the clear space between the huts 

“You all know we’re here for Kirin and Soran to undergo trials,” Rey began, her voice hoarse at first, but steadying as she went on. “But, before we can give anyone a promotion, we have to establish a hierarchy. Except for Soran, who’s a special case, you’ve all taken the initial oath... From now on, anyone who’s taken the oath will hold the rank of Knight-Apprentice. How long you spend in training and what your training focuses on is up to you, but we have a  _ few _ requirements: you must be able to demonstrate enough control of your Force abilities to not be a danger to others, and you must have the backing of at least one Master.”

She looked around, noting Kirin’s nervous fiddling with her jewelry, Genji’s intense, excited gaze and Ben’s warm, supportive expression. The twins from the Central Temple had stayed behind, still not ready to declare their full allegiance, but Arran had sworn the oath at the first opportunity. He sat beside Soran, his soft golden-green eyes somber.

“Do you… want to ask any questions? Or share ideas?” Rey offered, making eye contact around the fire to be sure everyone felt included.

“What happens if you fail the trial?” 

    Thalia seemed purely curious, but Rey did not miss Kirin’s anxious glance. She looked at Ben, wanting to make it clear that they were in agreement.

“You get three attempts, at a minimum of one lunar cycle between them. If you fail the third attempt…” He shrugged. “There’s no punishment, but that’s where we say goodbye. You can do as you like.”

“Hopefully anyone who’s turned away will at least leave with some basic control of their abilities,” Rey added. “Enough not to be dangerous.”

“What if they ‘go dark?’” Soran asked quietly. 

    Again, Rey waited for Ben to answer. Not because she couldn't, but because he was the one with experience in the dark side, and his words would have greater weight.

“We all know the Force is powered by strong emotions, good or bad. The Force itself isn’t dark or light, and I don’t believe any living thing can be wholly one or the other. You are free to use whatever tactics and teachings you wish… However,” His dark eyes met Soran’s penetrative stare unflinching. “Just know that you'll be held accountable for your actions. We are not condoning mass murderers or the destruction of whole planets, or slavery. That’s what upholding the balance and  _ submitting to the judgment of your fellow Knights _ means. We’re all relying on each other to keep us in check.”

“Hmm. Will there be a procedure for this judgment? If I catch Thalia slaying a flock of younglings, am I free to administer my own judgment, or are we going to have some kind of  _ High Council _ ?” 

     Soran practically sneered the words, and Ben rolled his eyes, sighing. Arran shot him a confused look at the unexpected venom in his voice.

“For now, let’s just say you’d do your best to subdue her and bring her back to the  _ Absolution _ . But no, there won’t be a circle of masters sitting in a tower out of touch with reality, passing judgment down like righteous gods. There won’t  _ be _ a council at all.” This was the part where they had argued, but eventually Rey had conceded that they were essentially an order of religious mercenaries, and such an order usually had a linear command structure. “There will be a Knight-Commander, overseeing our… outside responsibilities-”

“Things like assignments, requests for assistance from governments, quests for Force lore… Basically anything we’re doing out in the galaxy,” Rey supplied. “That’s going to be me, provided I pass the trials,” she smiled ruefully.

      “And Ben will be the Knight-Admiral, in charge of all our internal workings… training, gathering and building our resources for things like a library and kyber crystals, securing funding, managing the  _ Absolution _ and any other ships we might acquire. There will be other special positions as needed, like Thalia being Knight-Captain of our support forces," she gave the ex-trooper a nod and Thalia smiled faintly.

      "Eventually we'd like to have some kind of archivist or librarian, but we are all equals… So if something like that happens, we'll send out a signal, call everyone back, and try to reach a consensus. Ideally, we want to help you find balance again, but… if someone is truly compromised beyond reach...”

      “You will be given the choice of execution methods,” Ben said without inflection. “It bears mention that… even though we tend to think of it as a dark side thing, it  _ is _ possible to be irretrievably lost to the light as well.”

       Rey watched their students exchange confused glances. Even Soran looked dubious. Ben gave a mirthless smile.

      “None of you can think of how the light could possibly be dangerous?” His dark eyes flicked to Soran, and then Genji. “What about the Jedi Council?”

       “Homework time, kids,” Rey said with a soft smile. “When we get back to the  _ Absolution,  _ you'll find you've all been issued a datapad with access to the Imperial records and every bit of Force lore we could find. I want you each to do some research on examples of light Force users going too far. Try starting with the trial of Ahsoka Tano. Yes, you too, Soran.”

     “Physical training is important,” Ben added. “But don't forget the Force itself is a kind of deity, and we its chosen representatives. Think of the Knights of Ren as… scholarly mercenaries. Monks, but without the celibacy or vows of poverty. Any other questions?”

_ “Why does Master Ben get the boring job?” _ Genji warbled. Ben smiled slightly and Rey shrugged.

“Because he knows more about the Force than any of the rest of us, and hearing the name Ben Organa-Solo makes financiers sit up and listen,” she explained. 

     Both things were true. They did not need to know that Ben still didn’t quite trust himself to make decisions about what the Knights became involved in, and they both felt it was best if he wasn’t directing any kind of military actions, even something as simple as sending a Knight to mediate trade disputes.

“So are we Master-Knights after we pass the Trials?” Soran wanted to know.

     Rey could sense Ben getting irritated at his constant snarky attitude, but they were good questions, and she was glad someone was asking them.

_ Oh, come on. Good questions? _

__ _ Are you going to be like this with everyone who leans dark? _

__ _ Like what? _

__ _ Adversarial. Competitive. _

__ _ No, this is personal, he- _

__ _ Kirin trusts him, and that’s not your business. _

“Not quite.” She addressed Soran, but she could feel the others leaning in, listening. “When you’ve completed your trials on the island, you choose to pursue studying as a Knight-Errant or Knight-Cathar. Both are equal in status. Knight-Errants will be involved in… missions… that are more martial. Rescue or tactics or protection. The main requirement is skill with combat, so to be a Knight-Errant, you must have completed your own lightsaber and defeated one of the active Master Knights in combat.”

   “Do we get to choose who we fight?” Soran demanded. Ben gave him a haughty smirk and a shrug, the very picture of Han Solo’s cocky attitude. Rey sighed.

   “Yes, but they can refuse you and you will have to pick someone else.”

“What about the other?” Kirin’s soft voice was a welcome break from Ben and Soran’s glower competition. 

     Rey smiled. Kirin was the reason they had even considered this option to begin with. Ben had read in some ancient Jedi scrolls of Luke’s that the Jedi had once had such a distinction as well, between masters skilled in martial prowess, and those dedicated to more peaceful skills of diplomacy and lore.

“The Knight-Cathar isn’t required to carry a weapon, though of course you can if you wish. So long as you have enough training to defend yourself and others under your protection with a solid control of the Force. But the Cathar’s primary focus will be on diplomacy and lore. To reflect that… We’d like for you to contribute a research project, a piece of writing or a recorded holocron to add to our resources. Anything you’d like that hasn’t been done to death.”

“Like Force Empathy,” Soran suggested. 

     Rey noticed his tone with Kirin was completely devoid of his customary arrogance, and she thought of the soft voice of Kylo Ren, removing his helmet for an unknown scavenger girl. The Twi'lek favored him with a quick smile, turning to Rey.

“Do you know how to do that? Record a holocron?”

“I think I’ve figured it out. From the Sith holocron,” Ben said, surprising even Rey. “But it will have to wait until we can find the time to construct an empty one.”

“Okay. I think I can explain Master Obi-wan’s shield technique. Would that be good enough?”

“Absolutely. There's so little known about your unique abilities, Kirin. I hope you will have time for more than one recording.” She smiled under Ben’s warm gaze.

“Anymore questions?” Rey prompted. When she was met with a long moment of silence, she turned her gaze to Soran. “Alright, you’re on.”

“What?” He glanced around in confusion. “For what?”

“You have to take the oath,” Kirin reminded softly. 

     He groaned, running a hand through his unruly dark hair.

“Are you asking me to do this?” He flinched, but met the steady amethyst eyes.

“Yes.”

“Fine,” he sighed, turning to Ben. “Swear me in, prince of darkness.”

“I really don’t like you,” Ben grumbled as he pulled out his lightsaber.

“Good to know it’s reciprocal.” He eyed the weapon, held out hilt first before Ben’s waist. Rey noticed he chose the heavy-hilted, vented red one, and had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Kirin caught her eye, and they shared a smirk. “Am I supposed to touch that?”

“Yes. It’s customary to kneel when being knighted.” Ben’s face was an emotionless mask, but Rey could feel his delight at making the other man so uncomfortable.

_ Stop it. Don’t antagonize him. _

__ _ I am not antagonizing him. This is how it’s done. _

“You’ve got to be kriffing kidding.” His blue eyes darted toward Kirin, who crossed her arms impassively. “Fine.”

“Just one knee,” Ben nearly mumbled. Soran dropped and put his hand over the hilt of Ben’s saber. “Repeat after me…”

It was over very quickly, but the older man’s face registered the implications of the oath as he spoke the words, sobering somewhat. He took Ben’s offered hand readily enough when rising.

“Welcome to the Knights of Ren, Soran Baasen.”

 

Thalia awoke to a light on her communicator flashing madly. It was not quite sunrise, the dark having just given way to a pastel dawn. She scrambled off the rocky ledge she was using for her bed, careful not to wake the sleeping Wookie sharing the other side of her hut. She pulled on her boots and took the handheld unit outside.

      “This is Captain Thalia to bridge command, report,” she ordered. 

       She might only be an apprentice in the Knights of Ren, but until all the officer positions were filled in properly, she shared command of the bridge with Captain Peavey, and thus Ben had given her equal rank.

     “We have General Dameron waiting, Captain,” one of the ensigns - Rolan? - replied. 

      She did her best to know the people under her command at least a little. It was one of the things that secured her loyalty to the Knights, Master Rey's insistence that every crew member have a  _ name _ and their own personal room, even if it was just a simple barrack. They had five optional holidays a year, and one week of  _ mandatory _ shore leave. Placards on each residential quarter had been made with the occupant’ name and rank. If the officers whined about it, Master Solo was happy to tell them they were free to disembark.

       “Patch him through, please, Rolan.”

       “Yes, ma'am.”

       “Finally!” Poe Dameron’s voice was excited and relieved. She hated to disappoint him, knowing he expected Rey or Master Solo. “Guys, I've gotta make a decision. I've got visual tracking on a command pod going one way, and active tracking showing up static in another direction.”

       “The active tracking is static?” She repeated. There was a pause on the other end.

       “Rey?”

       “No, this is Captain Thalia,” she could understand his confusion, like Rey, she had the Coruscanti accent, and they were even similar in age and timbre.

       “Ah, sorry Thalia, over the comm it's hard to tell. I take it Rey's busy?”

       Her eyes darted towards the hut her masters were sharing. The fire was lit, but she was hesitant to go over and over hear something she would regret for life.

      “Active tracking can't be fooled by dumping the tracked signal,” she offered thoughtfully. “Is the pod big enough to hold a cargo full of slaves?”

      “No. It's barely big enough for one-”

     She hesitated. It wasn't her call, she was just providing the Resistance leader all the information she had on the new technology, which wasn't much. Active tracking was Hux’s brain child. She heard Dameron cursing, and knew he'd come to the same conclusion she had.

     “We will find him, General,” she said firmly.

     “I know, I know. And when we do-”

     “I suggest we let Master Solo and Soran handle it.” 

     A grimace of disgust and anger turned her lips. The flesh trading scumbags deserved far less than mercy, but if possible, Thalia thought it best to let those already familiar with the darkness take on such burdens. A single match sparked in the night could chase away the darkness, but corrupted light required more delicate repair. 

      “Yeah, you're right. I'm going after the cargo then, I guess.”

      “How long until you reach them?”

      “Twelve hours if they stay static.”

      A sudden, dark feeling overcame Thalia, something she vaguely remembered from missions that had resulted in nausea and repeat trips to reconditioning. Someone else would have called it ‘a bad feeling,’ but Thalia was a soldier before she became anything else. She carefully lowered herself to the stone wall along the central path between the huts.

     “Where are, you General?”

     “Hutt space, a few parsecs from Tatooine. Why?”

     “I… I have a feeling you should call for backup, Dameron. A very, very strong feeling.” 

     She was thinking furiously. What was around Tatooine besides… Tatooine? Nothing, really. Except.... the cold feeling of lead in her stomach got worse. Suddenly Genji was kneeling beside her, holding her hair and the communicator while she emptied her stomach over the steep mountain. 

     “Thalia? What's going on?” Vaguely, she heard Genji warbling into the communicator, and Poe Dameron stuttering to reply.

     “ _ Arkanis _ ,” she hissed softly. 

     She remembered it suddenly, the ruthless special training school, the collared breeders with sunken eyes and empty minds. One of them was her mother. That's where the Red Hand was taking its shipment of Force-sensitive slaves. Gasping, she yanked the communicator from Genji's paw.

     “Dameron, Arkanis is a training facility for Stormtroopers. But I think it's where the slavers were headed.” Genji huffed worriedly and she nodded. “In a minute.”

     “Why would they be taking Force-sensitives to a First Order training camp?”

     “Because Hux is building an army of Force-wielding slaves. That's how he knew Dralnu. My money says he intended that trap to catch Rey.”

     “That soulless piece of… Wait, how do you know all of this all the sudden? Why didn't you tell us before?”

     Tears slipped unnoticed down the freed Stormtrooper’s pale face. Genji pulled her into a furry hug.

     “I was born there. I failed the training and they sent me… to reconditioning. They made me forget. But I was always resistant, always going back to the sickbay. If I hadn't saved Commander Sloane's life, Hux probably would have had me killed…” She shook her head. “Dameron, this isn't important! Arkanis  _ is _ . It's a heavily-guarded private facility owned by Hux’s family. Please, get back up. And send someone to interrogate Hux.”

     “Interrogation, I can do. Not much in the way of backup here-” Genji pulled the communicator from her hand and roared excited. She stared at him in disbelief.

_ “Contact Nyarla the Hutt on Tatooine. Tell her Khawapashi and Master Baasen need a favor.” _

     “Uhhh… Am I bad at Shyriiwook, or did he just say-” Genji thrust the comm in her face and nodded, chuffing firmly.

    “Nyarla the Hutt? You've  _ got  _ to be kidding.” Genji shook his head emphatically. “I… guess you should do what he says.”

    “Hutts don't do favors for free, no matter whose arms you threaten to rip off,” Poe sighed. “But sure, I'll run it by Baasen and Khawapashi. Happy?”

    The Wookie huffed agreeably. Thalia shook her head. There couldn't possibly be enough scrappy freighters and chopshop pirate yachts to take on all of Arkanis, but maybe, maybe if they got there before the wardens did… Maybe. It was the best they had. She breathed in and out, trying to quell another wave of nausea.  _ Arkanis… _

    A noise on the path alerted them. Thalia looked up into the narrowed eyes of Ben Solo.

   “You want to tell me what's going on?” He asked softly. 

    She did. She really did. But first she had to empty her stomach again, so Genji explained it. She had forgotten that, of course, Ben Solo was fluent in the Wookie language. She squeezed her eyes shut, and tried to breathe again, willing her insides to calm.

    Ben listened as they alternated, asking a barrage of questions about Arkanis that Thalia couldn't even begin to answer. Finally, he seemed to exhaust all avenues of inquiry, and just sat next to the apprentice on the wall, rubbing her back and making vaguely soothing shushing sounds. Ben Solo was not at all gifted in empathy or healing, but he was surprisingly kind when he chose to be.

     Genji brought water with some kind of fresh, tingly herb ground up in it. Master Ben helped her sit up while the Wookie held it to her lips. Finally, when she was feeling more like herself, Ben stood, and offered her his hand. She let him help her up.

    “First, order the  _ Absolution  _ to Dameron’s aid now. It may not make it in time, but if we have to threaten them with orbital bombardment, at least will seem plausible. They have no way of knowing how badly understaffed we are. Second, send a request for assistance to the First Order.” He eyed her and then Genji carefully. “I'm going to talk to Rey. I’m… not sure we should leave here.”

    “But, sir, what about-” her eyes darted toward the hut that Kirin and Arran had chosen to share with Soran. He shook his head.   

    “Let me talk to Rey. Keep drinking that water.”

    Genji warbled sympathetically. 

_ “Has the Seeing always made you sick?” _

    “I think so,” she said slowly. “That's why they just sent me on to the flight corps. I'm not whatever they were looking for. Too weak-minded. “

_ “No,” _ He poked a dull talon at her chest. _ “Too much heart.” _


	30. The Trial of Balance Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey face down some things... Obviously, since that's the whole point of trials...
> 
> Part 2 will be Kirin and Soran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I don't mean to offend anyone who wants/likes/has children. I come from a long hustory of hereditary mental illness and have literally had nightmares similiar to Rey's vision, so just know it comes from a very personal experience and I am not trying to make any broader statement. I don't hate kids, I'm just not sold on Reylo babies given all the associated details. Others obviously have different and equally valid opinions and I've read and enjoyed several fics with kids, so I hope I'm not throwing anyone off here.

     Ben was not remotely afraid of heights, but sitting on the rock at the top of the island made him feel uncomfortably exposed. They had decided to finish their trials, although leaving the _Absolution_ without any Knights onboard to combat a potential army of Force-using Stormtroopers left them both uneasy. Kirin had reminded them that the freed slaves and Pashi were _also_ Force-users, and at least some would fight for their freedom.

     So he was here on this enigmatic island Kylo Ren had spent so much time searching for, sitting on the same rock where he knew his uncle had spent his last moments. He had volunteered to come up here first, but now that he was there, he had no idea what he was actually supposed to do. Meditate, he supposed.

     They had let Genji take charge of all weapons, for safety, in case someone failed hard. Rey didn't say that, but they all agreed it was probably best to take precautions. Ben closed his eyes, and tried to empty his mind. The heat from the sun was blistering, and the heated stone smelled like Rey.

     _“You don't deserve her,”_ he could hear his mother's voice, clear as day, but he kept his eyes closed.

      If she was a ghost, he didn't want to see her, and if she was a phantom conjured from his mind, opening his eyes wouldn't help.

     “No, I don't,” he agreed.

     _“You don't deserve anything you have.”_

That was also true.

     _“You deserve to die for the things you've done.”_

“My mother would never say that,” he replied quietly. “She might think it, but she wouldn't say it.”

     The voice was silent.

     He willed himself to relax, breathing in the scent of heat and salt water that was comfortingly familiar. Another vision flashed before him. Rey had been sitting here when Luke explained the concept of balance, and he could feel her following the dark energy of the island as it whispered false promises. Luke's fear at her sudden display of power was still palpable.

    Something else came then, and he grit his teeth to keep from opening his eyes. No. No. He did not want to look at that…

    But she appeared in his sight anyway, in a low-cut dress of black lace and glittering metal that hugged every curve and ended too high up. Black knee-high boots with dangerous heels and a cloak of velvet that sparkled with stardust.

    “Look at me, Kylo. Isn't this what you've always wanted?”

     He did open his eyes then, because the phantom was touching him, trying to crawl into his lap, and oh, fucking Force, there was _nothing_ under that dress. For a moment, he struggled, but he could feel the real Rey, _his_ Rey, elsewhere on the island.

     “Fuck off,” he shoved the doppelganger off of him, and she drew her weapon. A lightstaff that burned red as blood on both ends.

     “Make me,” she growled. He regarded her carefully, trying not to wince at her bloodshot, yellow-gold eyes.

    This was a Trial of Light.

    He took a deep breath, and reached out.

    “Come here.” When she was close enough, he took her hand and kissed her palm tenderly. The phantom gave a soft sigh, and when he looked up, the yellow eyes had disappeared. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I'm sorry.”

    “What for?”

    “For whatever I did to make this a possible future.”

    Not-Rey shook her head.

    “You died. You left me all alone. I can't forgive that.”

     He stared at her, at the unbelievable sorrow and agony in her cold eyes. This is what happened when he _died_?

    “Snoke killed you,” she explained. “You tried to save me. This is what happened when you failed. You died, and he took me instead, Kylo.”

     He hung his head, feeling a deep malaise settle into his stomach. He rested his head against her chest as she stood before him.

    “Please forgive me. Rey.”

    “That's not my name.”

    He tightened his arms around her, choking back a sob.

   “Yes it is.”

    She pushed him away, the yellow eyes coming back as she glared at him.

   “I'm not yours, Kylo. I'm not anyone's.” He could only look on with horror as she spun her red staff. “I don't need anyone. Needing people is a weakness. I will not let myself become weak again.”

   “Your fear of attachment makes you weak,” he said softly. “Who will guard your back?”

   “It was supposed to be you.”

    He looked into those terrible yellow Sith eyes again.

    “Forgive me.”

    She shook her head in disgust.

    “I can't. Forgive yourself.”

   He understood, finally, and closed his eyes, feeling a wetness on his lashes that didn't quite make it all the way to tears.

   “I'm sorry,” he whispered again, this time to himself.

   Not-Rey was gone when he opened his eyes again, but he sighed when he saw who replaced her.

  “I knew you'd be here,” he told his father.

   Han Solo gave a half-smile and Ben returned it. He stood in front of his son, and reached out a hand to touch his face.

  “Well, I forgive you,” he said. “I don't care what fate you deserve. We've all done terrible things, kid. It's not gonna be easy living with yourself.”

  Ben nodded.

  “I know.”

  “You feel for the girl, didn't you?”

   He laughed, he couldn't help it. Of course his father would focus on that. It's exactly what he would have done.

  “Funny how you wanted to be a Skywalker so badly, and the Solo part is the side that won out in the end. I'll bet wherever he is, Darth Vader is rolling in his grave.”

  “Actually, he's not. Luke was right. Anakin died in the light.”

  “Huh. Well, good luck kid. I wish I had been a better parent, but… I love you. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  Han Solo smiled, and disappeared.

  


   The last time Rey had faced the mirror cave, she had been looking for answers. Now, she supposed, she was looking for questions.

    _What do you want?_ The swirling voices whispered. _We can give you power. Strength. Companionship -_

“Already got all of that, thanks,” she said into the still, cold air. The mirror remained opaque as she peered at it, frosted over with what she could only presume to be ice. She closed her eyes and let her mind slip into a meditative emptiness, waiting.

   “ _It's Rey, isn't it?”_

She heard the man's voice distinctly, but when she opened her eyes, there was nothing. She breathed in, preparing to return to her meditation, when she saw something, the faintest of shadows forming in the mirror.

    _“Rey?”_

   She turned, but the voice seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere. Rey frowned when she turned her attention back to glass. There was… something… forming. Two somethings, actually. Small ones, holding hands. A boy and a girl with tousled black hair and grey-blue eyes like Luke Skywalker. She stared with a slowly growing terror, unable to pry her eyes away.

    _“Would you really deny yourself the chance? You've longed for a family for so long.”_

She shook her head.

    “I have a family. It's Rey Solo, now. And I've got my hands full with Genji and Kirin and the others.”

     _“What if Ben Solo changes his mind? He could set you aside for another willing to bear his offspring. Do you really think the Skywalker bloodline will just cease to exist because you don't want to carry it?”_

“The Skywalkers were insane. Even Leia in her own way. Why would anyone want to make more of them?”

     _“Ben Solo is so much older than you. Perhaps he is committed to that choice. But you're young yet. How do you know you won't change your mind one day?”_

“Because I've never been fond of children. Who are you, anyway? Why do you care what I do with my body?”

     _“Just like Anakin, I have spent these long years watching my descendents. Unfortunately, none of my own children had a touch of Force sense. By the time Kylo Ren awoke the last of my line, I had all but faded into the darkness…”_

Rey felt her brows draw together. Faded into the darkness? She had thought the voice felt sinister before, but had ignored it out of sheer curiosity. Now she felt she had made a grave mistake. She didn't want to know, she wanted to get away, to flee from the oily voice and the bizarre image of potential children laughing and waving at her through the now pristinely-clear surface of the mirror. She could even see some weird reflection of herself, looking exactly the way she would expect to see, but interacting happily with the children bearing Ben's dark hair and Luke Skywalker’s grey eyes.

    Suddenly, Rey scrambled to her feet.

    “Whoever you are, I don't care!” She called, turning her back on the image. “If you just want a… a Force-sensitive womb to carry your bloodline, I'm not interested.”

     _“You will be a legend, Rey. You carry ancient blood, the last of a long line of Sith Lords. Think of the power of your blood and Skywalker’s combined! Ben Solo has inherited all the riches and titles of multiple noble families. You could have a palace of servants to raise your talented offspring, and welcome them alongside your other students-”_

She couldn't help herself, she laughed outright.

   “If you're so wise, perhaps you should go haunt a library somewhere, or go find Luke Skywalker’s Force Ghost. Honestly, he can tell you all about legends and powerful bloodlines and the dangers of expecting your children to come out a certain way.” She took a step towards the water, ready to get away from this whole ridiculous conversation. “I was expecting the dark side to put up a stronger fight than this, but if hassling me about my birth control is the worst you can do, we're done here.”

    “Nooo! Come back!!” Sobbed a child's voice.

    She stiffened, then rolled her eyes, and dove into the pool, swimming instead of fighting the current with the Force as she had the first time. She still hadn't mastered the trick of holding her breath very long, so when she came up gasping for air and splashing toward the rocky ledge, it took her a second to realize she was still in the cave. She felt a sort of mild fear wash over her as she pulled herself up and realized she was somehow stuck. She looked at the mirror, at mirror Rey and Ben playing on the grassy hills of Varykino, and sighed.

     She was more annoyed than afraid, really.

     “I didn't know the dark side was so family-friendly,” she muttered.

     “Why don't you want this?” Mirror-Ben was looking right at her. She realized her own mirror-self had conveniently disappeared. “Look how happy we are. I've never loved anyone like this.”

     Rey propped her head on her hand, watching as her husband lifting a giggly little girl up on his shoulders. If she was going to be stuck here with the darkside version of those weird fertility cults that glorified child-bearing, at least it was Ben this time and not the creepy Sith Lord.

    “We're happy the way we are. I love you more than my own life.”

    “No, I mean… I love you, obviously, but with kids it's like-”

    Rey decided she was wrong. Listening to Ben tell her he loved these fantasy children more than he loved her was far more painful than the Sith Bloodline purist. She tried to levitate a rock to smash the mirror, aiming perversely for the child perched on his shoulders, but of course the mirror surface was undamaged. He looked hurt though.

   “You didn't have to aim at Leia!”

   She got up and dove into the water again, in the hope that it would bring the creepy, disembodied voice back. Anything to get rid of Ben Solo, Galaxy's Number One dad.

_Leia. For fuck’s sake._

   She stayed under as long as she could, finally giving in only when she felt her limbs weakening. Something felt weird when she was dragging herself out, almost like she had become heavier -

   - _please no, please, you've got to be kidding-_

She looked down at herself in disgust.

   “Oookay. Clearly running isn't working.” She climbed unsteadily to her feet, looking around. The mirror was frosted over again, but this time she was grateful. She really did not want to see what she looked like this way. Panting with the effort of climbing, she found some boulders to sit on and closed her eyes, searching for the warm, solid center of her shared lifeforce.

     _Breathe… Just breathe…._

“ _You'll be fine, child. Just relax. It won't take long.”_

Her eyes shot open at the return of the Sith Lord.

    “What? What won't take long?”

    “ _Hush, I'm concentrating.”_

She lurched to her feet, running with surprising speed to the water.

 

    Rey climbed up out of the cave, shell-shocked and feeling twenty pounds lighter, and her fingers found the implant she'd gotten aboard the _Finalizer_ and caressed it for reassurance. But it still wasn't enough, she couldn't shake the weird feeling that the creepy ghost had done something. So she barely paused to let Kirin wrap a shawl around her for warmth before she grabbed Genji by the arm and dragged him away from the others.

     In the absence of the _Absolution’s_ doctors or a medical droid, the young Wookie was well-versed in the herbal medicine practiced by his mother. He gently felt the device in her arm, assured her that it didn't feel out of place or tampered with, but agreed to brew her a special tea just in case.

     She caught sight of Ben coming down the slope hurriedly, probably concerned because she hadn't come back to the fire pit with Kirin, and she flung herself into his arms. He wrapped her tightly in his arms, tucking her head comfortably under his chin and swaying slightly in a soothing motion.

   “What happened, Rey? Tell me.”

   “I don't want to have kids!” She wailed.

   “I thought we already agreed on that.”

   “Well, apparently the dark side really wants more Skywalkers and… whatever it thinks I am.” She leaned into him, exhausted. “As soon as we get back to the _Absolution,_ I'm getting sterilized. Permanently. And if you say anything other than ‘Yes, Rey, whatever you want’, I swear I'll take out my lightsaber.”

    “Yes, Rey, whatever you want,” he repeated firmly. She clung to the back of his cloak, soaking in his quiet, unquestioning support.

     “I love you. I'm not sharing you with anyone.”

     “Okay, okay. I can get the injections too. If it makes you feel better.”

     She looked up at him, absolutely floored yet again by his sincere devotion. He was truly worried and doing his best to ease her mind in anyway he could. She leaned up and kissed him.

      “Actually it does.”

      “We’ll keep to… safe alternatives until then.”

      She nodded, kissing him again more thoroughly before resting her head against his chest, sighing as he stroked her head. He guided her gently back to their hut and helped her change out of her wet clothes, adding more wood to the fire before he went back outside. Rey could hear him speaking softly to the others, and she turned her face into the soft blanket of her pallet, crying silent, agonizing tears.

    Oh, how arrogant she had been! Assuming it would be so easy, that she had faced the cave once and made it through just fine.

    That was before. Before Ben, before the apprentices, before nosey Force Ghosts and a whole Star Destroyer of people who had pledged their service to them. She had tried _so hard_ to run away from this, this burden of responsibility for other people that suffocated and terrified her. She had come back, because of that burden, expecting to face the same conflict and prepared to endure it. But she had changed, and the darkness within her had changed too.

    Ben came back and laid beside her, pulling her into his warm arms, and she sobbed openly on his chest.

    “I don’t know what to do now,” she whispered.

    He stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head soothingly.

    “I… Did I fail, Ben?”

    “Look at me,” he ordered roughly. When she pushed herself up on her arms to meet his eyes, he took her face in his hands firmly. “Did you face your fears? Did you fight back?”

         She looked up into his stern gaze and mutely, she shook her head, fresh tears forming in her eyes. He closed his eyes, his hands still cradling her face.

         _Show me._

        She did. It took him a lot longer to sift through her thoughts and experiences than she thought it would, and when he was done, he pressed his forehead against hers.

        “You ran away,” he murmured with as much gentleness as he could. He pulled her back into his arms and held her while she sobbed.

       “Rey. Did you recognize that voice?”

       “No, but it was awful enough.” She felt something like his fear flash through the bond and blinked. “Did you?”

        He was quiet for a long time. Finally he heaved a sigh and hugged her tightly.

        “I'm very glad you don't want to have a kid with me. I was relieved before, but I was still afraid you might change your mind one day-”

        “Because I'm young, yeah, I've heard that one before.”

        He shrugged, there was no malice behind her soft words, but she let him feel how exhausted she was of the subject.

       “Rey, I've heard that voice before, several times. But you said before you didn't want to know about your past, your family. And the owner of that voice is… Just as evil as it sounds. So if you don't want to know, I won't force you to face it.”

        Ben's wide hand soothed and stroked her head while she burrowed her face into his neck, thinking. Slowly, it all came clicking into place. She hadn't failed the trial. She just hadn't completed it.

        “I don't want to know, but I think I have to face it. It's part of the test.”

       She felt his chest expand and contract sharply, and he brought both arms up, hugging her to him with a crushing strength.

       “The Emperor, Palpatine. He was from Naboo, but he made his palace on Coruscant. He had women there, imperial concubines. They were freed when Coruscant joined the New Republic, but most of them fled with the remains of the Empire. You have a Coruscanti accent, and your mother was in the First Order. They kept meticulous records. As soon as Snoke took over, he would have had you in his claws.”

        She closed her eyes, and it was as if the entire galaxy froze around her. Even Ben's arms felt distant, her body numb in their bed.

        _Imagine your blood as a paragon of balance,_ said the horrible voice. _Born of the mightiest of dark blood, but raised in love and peace. Twins skip a generation, you know._ Yes, she had seen them. She imagined Luke and Leia, raised in the beautiful estate on Naboo. Laughter drowning out the ghosts of the past. _They would be equals, maintaining the light and the dark, just like their parents. Your legacy could live on._

Experimentally, she let herself examine the thought. Running had only made it worse, she had to play it out. She thought about the Ben Solo in the mirror playing with his children. Watched the dark-haired twins mature into broody, Force-wielding teenagers, and shuddered. Saw them face the same tests and difficulties Luke and Ben and she herself now faced, with all the sins of the past hanging over them. Finally, a response formed in her mind. Obi-wan, Ahsoka, Luke. They had become one with the Force as they died. If she and Ben did the same - and they likely would, the Force Bond would take them both at the same time - their shared presence would preserve the balance for an infinite number of lifetimes. They could watch over and guide the Knights for decades, until the structure was so solid they weren't needed anymore.

        _And you would be reborn again, the Light and the Dark, and find each other anew. Such is the cycle. Life. Death. Balance._

       That was definitely not the oily voice she had heard before. It was bright, and clean and offered only knowledge where the other had been pleading. She recognized it, too. One of the formless, deeply sorrowful ghosts of the lakeside estate on Naboo, the grandparents who had destabilized the entire galaxy with their forbidden love.

       _Yes, that mythical ‘balance.’ It doesn't really exist, but you have to keep trying. I spent my life learning that lesson so you two could make it relevant._

 

       Ben sat up suddenly, realizing his wife had stopped breathing. Frantically he shook her in his arms, but she remained unnaturally still, and he could sense a presence over her, thick, murky mists that separated them even though he clutched her to his bare chest. For a moment, he felt his breath catch, too and he remembered the Force Bond. If she were dying suddenly from this unknown mist, it would take him, too.

      Oddly, the thought was almost soothing. Wherever they went, they went together, and he would be content as long as he could be by her side.

      It lasted for less than a minute, the murky shadows, the dark presence. For a brief second, he felt someone familiar - and then Rey woke, both of them gasping in lungfuls of cold, clean air, as they clung to each other tightly.

     _I think you passed the trial._

_Obviously._

_So we're still on the same page? Not unleashing our own monstrous spawn on an unsuspecting galaxy?_

_Yep._

_The voice at the end, the one that wasn't Palpatine?_

_I know who he is._ She snorted at the indignant emotion that flowed over from him. _Sorry, I was too tired from telling Emperor Grandad to shove off, I didn't think to ask your idol for his autograph._

_I don't need his autograph. We talked on Taris. I have his lightsaber - the hilt, anyway._

 She sat up and looked at him, utter surprise in her eyes.

  “That's right, you said that before! But, I thought we broke Anakin's lightsaber. I'm using his crystals in mine!”

  “When Obi-wan defeated him on Mustafar, he took Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber. That's the one that passed to Luke, and then you.” He smiled slightly at her scandalized tone. “Darth Vader made another one.”

   “Okay. Were you ever gonna tell me about this or…?”

   “I'm telling you now. Ahsoka gave it to me on Taris. I think his spirit is linked to it somehow. We've talked a few times since then.” He made a gesture for her to relax, trying to pull her back in bed. “It's okay, he's not evil. He just showed up to chase away _your_ evil grandfather, remember?”

    She sighed, and let him draw her back down, nestling into his side again with half her limbs splayed out over his shoulders and one of his legs.

    “I know. I talked to him too.” She exhaled sharply. “Let's just go to sleep already. I've about had it with these kriffing old people trying to dictate my life.”

     On that, they were in agreement.


	31. The Trial of Balance Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirin masters the goddess of vengeance and Soran struggles to see beyond his own personal quest.
> 
> Oh, hey Ezra! Come back to exchange insurance cards after that unfortunate astral projection incident?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these characters are too much, I had to thin the herd a little, I'm beginning to feel like a real fantasy writer. There will be more on Thalia and Genji and the rest in the third installment, which I'm working on now, tentatively titled Destiny Is Only the Beginning.

     Kirin regarded her reflection in the strange mirror calmly. Before her, the demon-goddess smirked, the fiery heart in her chest flickering, tamed.

      _I have always been,_ it said. _And I will always be._

“I know who you are,” she met the creature’s burning eyes unflinching. “But do you know who I am?”

    She stood, and found that even with her small stature, the demon was shorter. She looked down upon the embodiment of the Dark Force within her and smiled, a hint of her pointed teeth just barely visible.

    _Mistress_ , the creature gasped. _I can grant you so much power._

    “Be silent,” she ordered. “I will summon you when you’re needed.”

    The creature in the mirror faded in a smoky haze, until Kirin’s own reflection gazed back at her. She regarded herself critically. In the months since she had joined Master Rey, she had gained a significant amount of toned muscle in her legs and arms. It emphasized the swell of her hips, and she had to remind herself constantly of what was considered appropriate dress in public. Her face showed the most change, however. Gone were the shy, haunted eyes of a frightened slave. Deep within her, the demon of compassionate vengeance blazed, and her fire infused Kirin’s amethyst irises, making her gaze direct and unafraid.

    She turned to leave, and stepped back in surprise at the vision before her. Instinctively, she knew he was not part of her Trial, but above her, on the height of the island, Soran was facing his own Trial, and somehow Ezra had slipped past his consciousness. He looked different somehow, older and less sad, the scars under his eyes faint in the cave’s dim light. She regarded him worriedly.

    “Is Soran in danger or something?”

    “No. But he is in a trance, I think, so I can get through,” his voice trailed off, as if his attention was caught by something in whatever weird world his physical body inhabited. “I can’t stay long. I spoke to Sabine. She interrogated the man who was running the brothel on Mandalore.”

    “Garesh? Did he know anything? I thought Dralnu wiped his mind.”

    He gave a sort of half-shrug, smirking.

    “Dralnu isn’t nearly as good as he thinks he is. You just have to ask the right questions. Soran should have all the information you need to get into the Library.... Garesh wasn't sure  _where_ it is, though -"

    "It's a planet called Arkanis. Thalia - another apprentice, she used to be a Stormtrooper - she said she was born there. It sounds... really well-secured, but... Our masters are strong."

    “Arkanis? Of course. Why didn't I think of that? I was there once, we were rescuing another Force-sensitive recruit. Garesh has never been to the Library, so we couldn’t get any information about what to expect, but it was a pain in the ass to escape from when I was a cadet there.”

    She raised her eyebrows slightly. He shook his head.

    “We’ll save that story for another time. The important thing is, you can get in, but getting out is going to be the problem.”

    “I think we can do it. If we all work together - Master Rey and Kylo-Ben took on all of Supreme Leader Snoke's guards and fought their way out of an ambush by General Hux, Soran has all the inside knowledge of working with the Red Hand, Pashi and the slaves on the cargo ship are free... there's Poe Dameron and some of Pashi's dad's friends helping... and I’m… me.” She gave him a slight smile and he met her eyes reassuringly. She tilted her head. “You talked to Sabine?”

    “Not your business, kid.” But there was a certain lightness to his blue eyes, a lifting of the mournful haze that usually haunted his face.

    “If we all survive this, we’ll come for you next.”

     He shook his head.

    “It’s a waste of time. Sabine and Ahsoka spent years combing the Unknown Regions. Wherever we are, I don’t think you can get through. And besides, I’ve got a prisoner of my own to deal with.”

    “Ahsoka and Sabine didn’t have Soran.”

    He shrugged, but she refused to accept defeat without trying.

    “Just don’t get your hopes up.” He glanced away, at something she couldn’t see, and cursed. “I have to go. Be careful, kid.”

 

           Soran was not a big fan of sunlight, so sitting on a hot rock at the height of a mountain feeling it pour over him was somewhat uncomfortable. He had never been good at meditation, but he had picked up his uncle and cousin's habit of keeping a few stimulants and narcotics on his person, and he was chewing a deathstick cautiously. When he started to feel a bit light-headed, he knew the drug was taking effect, and he spat the stick into his palm and carefully wrapped it back up and put it away in the little tin he kept in his pocket.

       Now the sun was a bit more tolerable, and he settled into a light half-sleep of pleasant emptiness. This place was full of light, he could feel it the moment he stepped foot out here, but it had been too scalding to open up to without the haze of relaxation brought on by the drug. He breathed in, placing both hands firmly on the wind-worn rock.

      “Why are you so frightened of the light?”

      Of course. He had half expected her to come to through to him, as she sometimes did in his dreams, even though she was still technically alive in a medbay on Corellia. Soran had not spoken to his mother in person for years, but her spirit seemed determined to plague him.

      “I'm not frightened. It's just not for me.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

     “Soran. My son. Will you not even open your eyes to see me?”

     “You're just a figment of my drugged mind and this Force-blessed island. My real mother has been in a coma for six years.”

      But he opened his eyes anyway. Cienne looked the same as she had when he was a child, the last time he had been with her on Dathomir. Her long auburn hair flowed to the base of her spine, and she wore a flowing green robe with a wide, folded blue scarf as a belt. Her lightsaber, which he'd never been able to track down, was tucked into the belt, along with a blaster. Her gentle, haunted gray eyes took in his face.

      “I am so sorry, Soran. I'm sorry I couldn't fight harder. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.” Her fingers felt very real caressing his face, the callouses on her fingers rasping over his cheek. “I'm sorry life has been so cruel to you.”

       “I know you're sorry.”

       He didn't know what else to say. It wasn't her fault things had happened the way they did, and she had done everything she could to keep him safe, even hiding on Dathomir and letting the old crones teach him their dark side magic. Still, he harbored a resentment in his chest that stubbornly refused to respond to logic, blaming her because she was really the only person he had to blame besides himself.

       Soran peered into his mother's eyes and saw something else there. Something he didn't know he needed until this very moment. His voice caught as he tried to speak.

      “I'm sorry too, Mom. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I tried… I did so many awful things just to get Dralnu’s respect. I thought I could get him to give you back. I didn't know you were…” He shook his head, his eyes betraying him with the weakness of water that threatened to become angry tears. “I'm sorry. I became exactly what you were afraid of, and I don't know how to stop.”

      “Yes you do. Look at where you are.”

      He shrugged.

     “Meditating in an old Jedi temple? Who cares? There's thousands of Force temples out there. It doesn't change what's inside me. Anger and pain. That's all I know. A whole lifetime of it.”

     “No. It's not pain and anger that hold you to the dark side. Think of your Twi'lek friend. She had every right to the anger she unleashed on the Red Hand, and yet she still stands unflinching in the light. And Ben Solo, who rejected what he had become. No. Your anger is righteous - it has its place.”

      Her hands cupped his face and he could feel the cool of her skin against his sun-warmed cheeks.

     “Soran. Let go of your guilt. You were a child.”

     He closed his eyes, feeling tears slide down, finally released. The hands cupping his face seemed to change in texture, and he opened his his eyes to see the jewel-bright eyes of Kirin.

     “I can forgive whoever I want,” he remembered her saying. “But the absolution you seek isn't mine to give. Let go of your guilt. Forgive yourself, and maybe you can still make something good out of your life.”

      Under the combined assault of their unwavering gentleness, he broke. With a agonized shout, Soran leaned forward, folding in on himself as he watched his lifetime of struggle flash before his eyes, for once free over the bitter commentary of his mind seeking someone to blame. He saw a fatherless child running from the terrible claws of the Empire, fleeing from place to place, no home, no friends.

    He saw the relief in his mother's eyes when the Force brought Kayt into their path, another adult she could rely on and trust. He saw the boy watching his uncle's easy camaraderie with the crew of his ship, the kindly Wookie and the acerbic old Twi’lek. He saw their flight to Dathomir, as his mother took the most promising of a pile of bad ideas, thinking the Force witches would be strong enough to keep the Empire out. They were, but Dralnu was another matter. He saw the boy - himself - make the only choice a child could make.

    The terrible years that followed. The slaver’s cruelty that forced his own. Another round of bad choices made because the alternative was worse. When he finally found Cienne, barely alive in a shady brothel on Corellia. His unchecked anguish ripping through the entire house, destroying vile criminals, beasts and their innocent victims alike.

     He found a place, a medical facility that cared for people who were unable to care for themselves. At first, they had been hopeful. His mother's body was strong, and with nourishment and care, she grew healthy again physically.

      But her mind was… fractured. For a Force-user, it was dangerous. They couldn't control her, and he still had the collar she had been chained with, but he couldn't bring himself to use it, so they kept her sedated. He had hunted for every bit of lore, every shady Force cult and ancient races with legends from the Old Republic.

      And one night, on the top of some Sith tower on a forgotten planet, he had used an artifact to travel outside of time, to find a place to keep her spirit intact, but safe. But it hadn't worked as he expected, and she lived in dreams now, where she told him of his sisters and his brother, and he made it his mission to track them down while her body lay wasting away in the medical facility paid for by his uncle's largesse.

      _All that I have done, I did on behalf of others. It's not my fault. It was never my fault._

     He saw his lightsaber flashing, cutting through guards and temple clientele. The women who stood back, silently watching, until he freed them from their collars and they parted ways. They were generally thankful, but he made it a point not to stick around. He gave them their freedom, but he wasn't there to help them use it.

     _I have done good, and I have done bad._

_I have made evil choices, but I am not evil._

_There is light and dark._

_Light…_ Kirin's patient eyes…

     _Dark…_ The pained scream of Dralnu's second as Soran’s saber sliced off his arm and the Master of the Red Hand smiled down upon him and called him his apprentice.

    “Soran.” He looked up suddenly, into piercing eyes the same color as his own. The Force whispered around the other man, particles of light in a gray mist. He could never see him clearly, after their first, disastrous collision in the astral realms, but he knew the voice.

     “You.”

     “We need to talk.”

     “In case you can’t tell, I’m a little overwhelmed at the moment,” he grumbled irritably.

      It wasn’t enough for him to usurp Soran’s dreams, stealing the few precious moments he had with his mother, or usurp his own powers, severing his connection to the Force whenever he disapproved of Soran’s methods. Now he was here, too. Soran glowered, but it was he who looked away first.

     “Open your mind to me. It’s the easiest way, and we don’t have a lot of time.”

    “You must think I’m a fool. I’m not letting you in to possess my body, ghost-”

     “I have information. Access codes for the Library. And Dralnu's personal frequency. You can track it to his escape ship.” His voice was calm, his expression frustratingly mild.

    “Why should I trust you, Jedi? You promise to help, but you’ve only brought me trouble before. Nobody can be tracked through hyperspace, and that scumbag will be halfway across the galaxy now. We can save the slaves in the transport, but I’m not risking the lives of people I care about-”

    “People you care about? Like Kirin, perhaps?”

    He growled, reaching for a lightsaber that wasn’t there, and cursed Kylo Ren for insisting they hand over their weapons before facing these tests. He stared the Jedi down angrily, and found the other looking away this time.

    “How dare you taunt me with that! You could have stopped me-”

    “But I didn’t.” The Jedi sighed, shaking his head. “It was necessary-”

    “I AM DONE WITH THAT WORD! How many sins have I committed because they were _necessary_? How many casualties have I witnessed? You don’t even know half of them!”

    The Jedi sighed, and the mists that occluded his form shimmered.

    “We don’t have time to argue. It is _necessary_ that I give you this information. Open your mind, or I will force my way in!”

    “How very Jedi of you,” he glared at the shimmering form.

    "Let me in, and I will work with you to find a way to reverse our situation. Since it seems there are people who will try no matter what I say, perhaps it can be done." The other man sighed, reaching out a hand pleadingly. "Please, Soran. We do not have to be enemies."

He held the man's stare for a long moment before crossing his arms and dropping his inner shielding, the barrier he had carefully constructed after he found the unwanted essence in his mind.

     “Fine.”

 

    The fire crackled in the misty evening, hissing wisps of sticky smoke that dragged at Ben’s hair and smudged Kirin’s pastel skin. He spared at glance at Rey, wondering when the girl had become his apprentice after she initially agreed to study under his less-intimidating wife.

    “Kneel, apprentice,” he instructed solemnly. She started to go to both knees and he reached out to catch her elbow with a soft whisper. “Just one knee.”

    She nodded, looking up at him nervously. There was a flash of something else, a glint of hardness behind her eyes that hadn’t been there before, and the dark master within him gave silent acknowledgement. He took the thin leather belt that Genji had crafted days earlier, when Rey first suggested they grant Kirin an official knighthood, from the Wookie’s outstretched paw. It was slim, but strong bleached white leather, braided with lacquered wooden beads and bright blue seashells. Unlike Rey’s there was no place to hold a lightweapon, but the woven strands were flexible, offering multiple places to hook a tool or tie in a coin purse.

    A surprised gasp of delight escaped the girl’s lips as her eyes traveled over it, and she beamed at Genji as she ducked her head for him to lower it over her neck. Quickly, she arranged it over her clothing and jewelry to her satisfaction, and he reflected briefly on the fact that, even in this horrid weather, she somehow managed to maintain an outfit of soft, colorful layers.

    “Rise, Kirin, Knight-Cathar of the Order of Ren.”

    Her hand might as well have been a child’s, and he didn’t help her up so much as provide stationary leverage for her to climb to her feet.

    “Is that it?” Her voice squeaked slightly with excitement. He shrugged, turning to the others and raising his eyebrows at Rey.

    “That’s all so far,” she confirmed, returning the girl’s exuberant hug. “You still need to record the shielding technique when we get back to the _Absolution_.”

    “Right. I will.”

    Ben strolled over to stand beside his wife as they watched Kirin receive hugs from Genji, Thalia and Soran. Rey cleared her throat slightly, and he saw Soran glance over.

    “My turn, eh?”

    She arched a brow and nodded, gesturing with the simple belt Genji had crafted for him on short notice. The silver etching caught in the firelight, and his eyes roamed over it in appreciation.

    “I get one, too?” He looked over at the Wookie, who warbled humbly. “No, it’s an honest compliment, your workmanship is very fine.”

    “We were playing around with ideas for a badge of office and Thalia happened to mention she’d like to have a belt like Rey and Genji and as it turns out, he’s quite accomplished at it.” Rey smiled warmly at the Wookie, who still grumbled with embarrassment under all the praise. “I think we might have to come up with some official title.”

    “Quartermaster, perhaps?” Soran suggested. Rey looked over at Ben and he shrugged. Quartermaster would demand he spend most of his time onboard the _Absolution_ , which seemed like a peculiar place for a Wookie. But he seemed to have bonded somehow with Thalia, so perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad for their Knight-Captain to have another permanent Knight at her side administering to the outfitting of their forces.

    _Funny how all these things seem to slip into place._

    He smiled at the feel of her voice in his head. Even after nearly a year in her company, there was nothing so beautiful to him than the feel of her, the sound of her voice in his mind and ears, the touch of her skin, her taste…

    _Stop that, I’m doing something important._

_Soran’s not important._

_Well, I’m not doing him, I’m just completing an important ceremony involving him._ He suppressed a flare of anger at the sight of the other man kneeling in front of Rey. _Stop scowling, you can kneel for me later._

“Rise, Soran Baasen, Knight-Errant of the Order of Ren.” He sensed her start to hug the new knight, but she paused and just awkwardly clasped his arm. “Despite the prince of darkness over there, most of us are happy to have you.”

    The bastard had the gall to smirk at him before he was immediately thrown off balance by a fierce hug from a teary-eyed Kirin, and a surprisingly strong handclasp from young Arran. In one stride, Ben had made it to Rey’s side and slipped his arm around her waist firmly. She sighed, and he could tell she was rolling her eyes, but she leaned into his embrace anyway.

    “Did Thalia tell you about the Library on Arkanis?” He asked after a minute. She glanced up at him, a dark haze crossing her warm expression.

    “Yes. We need to leave soon."

    "The  _Sparrowhawk_ is faster than the  _Absolution_ will be. Dameron said he was twelve hours out this morning."

     He waited as Rey chewed her lip thoughtfully.

    "That was twelve hours ago. Have we gotten any contact since?"

    "Khawapashi and Kayt Baasen took a shuttle to rendezvous with some of their allies off Tatooine. No word on if anyone's reached the slaver's cargo hold yet."

     Rey turned to where the others were gathered, the two new Knights looking proud but a bit uncomfortable as the center of attention. Kirin's eyes caught the firelight, and Ben recognized the flicker of heat in their violet depths. As if summoned, the Twi'lek came up the path, nodding to them both.

    "Is there any news, Masters?"

    Rey hesitated, but only a moment, and Ben knew there was no reason to withhold information. In fact, he intended to give Kirin her first real test of leadership.

    "General Dameron should be within range of them by now. We've ordered the  _Absolution_ to their coordinates and Khawapashi and Kayt are rounding up back-up."

    "Okay, but when are we leaving?" Her violet eyes flashed. Even exhausted from her ordeal, Kirin's spirit was pure and focused. Ben gave her an appraising look.

    "Well, you and Soran are the insiders here. How long do you think we have before someone comes to collect their wares? And should we send anyone after Dralnu, since it seems he escaped?"

     Kirin glanced at Soran thoughtfully, her expression momentarily unreadable.

     "I think the three of us - you two and me - should take Rey's ship and leave right now to meet up with Dameron and Pashi’s dad. Have the _Absolution_ send a shuttle for the others, and let Soran go after Dralnu in your fancy TIE."

    "I agree," the other Knight said, coming up behind her just in time to hear the last bit. "I may be a terrible Sith, but he was my master. It's fitting."

     Rey opened her mouth, but closed it quickly at Ben's subtle headshake.

      _It's his right. His past to kill._

_What if he fails? What if he joins up with them again?_

_They raped his mother. I don't think he'll be going back. And if he fails, he fails on his terms._

_I don't like it. He shouldn't be alone._

"He's not alone," Kirin interrupted as they both turned to stare. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Empath? Remember? Trust me... he has all the help he needs."

 


	32. To The Surprise of Literally No One....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe finds Pashi, but he's not the first. Obviously the important thing is to evacuate the noncomabatants and prepare for a space battle with whoever shows up to collect the "shipment" right?
> 
> Yeah, there's a bit of a misunderstanding about who is fighting and who is leading and who is running away, of course. 
> 
> Is Poe finally learning to be an actual *gasp* leader? 
> 
> And in reference to the chapter title, we return to Armitage Hux, because of course we do...

    Poe wasn't even expecting a response to the plea for help from the Hutts, so when the he arrived at the stagnant freighter and found two light cruisers already docked, the possibility that they might be allies didn't even occur to him. Instead, he hailed the larger ship directly.

     “Alright, buddy, if we don't hear from our kid in the next thirty seconds, be ready to fire on that top cruiser,” he instructed BB-8.

      The droid chirped in agreement, already adjusting the targeting system. From somewhere further back, MDC-13 loudly counted and arranged medical supplies and grumbled about trigger-happy children. Poe ignored it.

      “Unknown Rebel freighter, this is Captain Jade Penthe of the cruiser  _ Consortium,  _ identify yourself.”

      “ _ Consortium _ , this is General Poe Dameron of the Resistance-”

      “POE  _ FUCKING _ DAMERON?”

      “Hey, language,” but he grinned and behind him, BB-8 inquired excitedly. “Yeah, that's her buddy.”

      “Sorry to ruin your field trip, kid, but I've got both your masters breathing down my neck, so I'm gonna have to escort you back ASAP.”

      “Yeah, that's not happening, but get your ugly mug down here.” He groaned inwardly as she went on. “We're in need of a lot of help, and you owe me a helluva big favor.”

      “I'd be happy to as long as you can verify these cruisers aren't holding you at gunpoint.”

      “Excuse me, General Dameron, but we are here responding to  _ your _ request for aide,” replied the woman from the  _ Consortium. _ “I'm Captain Penthe and the other cruiser is our sister ship the  _ Palladium.  _ We're traders working under the auspices of Nyarla the Hutt of Tatooine. Master Baasen and the Wookie are old friends, and I believe that is  _ their _ ship you are flying, so if anyone has some  _ verifying _ to do, it would be you.”

       “Ah, Miss Jade, I wasn't aware Vasto left you his wit and cynicism along with his properties and fortune,” MDC-13 butted in from the auxiliary comm station. “One might wonder, given the vast fortune your late husband amassed, why you find yourself in need of employment so soon after his demise.”

       “Scratch that, Dameron, feel free to dock with the  _ Consortium _ at your leisure as long as you leave that murdering piece of garbage on the ship.”

       “I beg your pardon, madame, I assure you all of my circuits and systems are in excellent repair, and I hardly see how  _ my _ kill count has any relevance next to General Dameron’s war record or-”

       “Poe Dameron didn't kill my husband, Garbage Bot.” The woman’s voice was like ice. “If you care about your hardware at all, you'll stay on that goddamn ship and let me pretend you don't exist, because I guarantee the second I lay eyes on you will be your last recorded memory.”

 

       “So…” Poe began as he was greeted by the emerald-skinned Twi’lek, Jade Penthe and her Rodian co-pilot. “The  _ Hutts _ sent you?”

       “In a manner of speaking. My step-daughter and I owe Nyarla a favor, and Nyarla owes Kayt Baasen a favor, so here we are.”

       “Traders, eh?”

       “I may have sold a lot of illegal things, General, but I've never in my life bought or sold a sentient being,” Captain Penthe replied irritably.

       “Jade and Keela are old friends, Rebel Man, don't worry. You can trust them. For this, anyway,” Poe felt his face break into a wide grin as a third person joined them in the hangar. BB-8 whistled excitedly and rolled around them all in happy loops. Pashi stopped to pat the droid affectionately. Jade Penthe looked at her askance.

       “What do you mean, ‘for this’, I run a perfectly honest business, little girl-”

       “Yeah, if by ‘honest’ you mean you always skim the same percentage off my dad’s shipments.” She grinned and winked at Poe, and he felt an immense sigh of relief to see her acting so… normal. Given the myriad of horrors she could have faced after nearly a week in the slaver’s grasp, she looked a little haggard and bruised, but not in the least bit broken.

       “I find that highly ironic coming from Kayt Baasen’s daughter. If you want to know who's skimming your merch, maybe you should check the memory banks of that vile, murdering droid,” the Rodian co-pilot sneered.

      “Medici didn't murder Uncle Vasto, Kali-” Pashi began heatedly.

      “Ladies! I can see this is an old argument, but could we maybe table the discussion until we're not in danger of losing our lives?”

      All three turned to him with various expressions of confusion.

      “I assure you, these cruisers are fitted with the best weaponry-” Kali began, seeming affronted.

      “Yeah, I'm sure your ships are loaded with all kinds of tricks fully illegal in the First Order  _ and  _ the Republic, but this wasn't just your average slave shipment. Now I know we've got more help on the way, but these bastards aren't going to let their precious cargo free so easily-” he rolled his eyes as she interrupted him again. Rodians were generally a polite and mild-mannered, but he supposed that was just racial profiling, which always tended to be wrong on a person-to-person basis.

       “Oh, we know. These Force witches are uniquely difficult, I can't imagine the cost of capturing and subduing them,” she grumbled. Poe turned to her and offered his hand abruptly.

       “Sorry, I didn't catch your name?”

       “Kali Mantaya,” she replied. “Obviously I know who you are. We don't mean to offend, General, I apologize. It has been a bit difficult for all of us-”

       “Thank you, I understand. But I think I have some important intel you guys missed out on. See, we all know what the Red Hand is selling, but it's who’s buying that's the important part here.” Pashi’s dark eyes caught his, and a strange sense like a cool breeze through his skull made him pause. He frowned and she shrugged apologetically, but then proceeded to quickly grab his hand and drag him into the cruiser, the captain and her second  following.

      “Grand Marshall Hux. Right. Ookay, that's bad,” Pashi murmured cryptically. Jade and Kali eyed him in confusion, but he just jerked his head in Pashi’s direction and understanding dawned.

      “Pashi, it's rude to just read people's thoughts-” Jade began.

      “I don't need a lecture, Auntie dearest, time is of the essence.” She lead Poe to the cruiser’s bridge, followed closely by its irritated crew members. Without asking, she plopped down at an open comm station and started typing in commands. “We've got to evacuate the cargo pod and get everyone the hell out of here, there are bigger guns coming.”

      “Pashi, love,” Kali dropped to a kneel beside her chair. “We can help you better if you tell us what’s so urgent.”

      She paused, her eyes catching the gaze of a somewhat overwhelmed and bewildered Poe, and for a moment he caught a darker expression behind her eyes, haggard and utterly exhausted. 

      It occurred to Poe that he was a general, a fighter pilot, and an experienced squad leader. The people and ships were different, but he had been the underdog in more space battles than he could count. Drawing himself together, he gestured to Jade Penthe and tapped Kali’s scaled shoulder.

      “I can explain everything, but let's let the Force user concentrate. Do you have a control room with a map display of some kind? We're gonna need to coordinate movements.”

      Thankfully, Jade Penthe seemed to have a sharp-mind to go along with her sharp tongue. She beckoned to her second and the two women led him into a large, glass-walled room behind the bridge, where he relayed Thalia's description of Arkanis, the specific purposes of the place called The Library, and the additional information he had just received from Soran Baasen.

       BB-8 surprised Pashi by staying at her side, dutifully plugging into her console and uploading all the information it had stored from the  _ Aeonhawk's  _ data banks. It beeped a question at the young Twi'lek, and she frowned thoughtfully.

      “I really feel like the right answer to that is no,” she whispered. BB-8 mournfully agreed, and she sighed. “But we both know you're gonna do it anyway, so let's pretend we never had this conversation, and hopefully my aunt will just assume he did it on his own somehow.”

       BB-8 was pleased with that plan, and he ignored the sarcastic bit of binary that traveled through his antenna as he patched MDC-13 into the  _ Consortium's  _ servers.

       “Okay, I think I've got this planned. The  _ Palladium _ and Aunt Keela can take the bulk of the noncombatants and jump to hyperspace, we've just got to give them a good location.” 

       She peered at the screens before her, typing almost with her eyes closed. Channeling the Force to direct computers and electronics was almost second nature to Pashi, something she had begun from her father's lap aboard the  _ Aeonhawk. _

       She closed her eyes, and the Force filled her, and her hands moved in harmony with the flow of energy through her, like a conductor at a fancy orchestral performance.  _ Naboo. Perfect. They won't make the mistake of going back there again.  _ She relayed the orders and waited for confirmation from the  _ Palladium _ and the scrappy communication ensemble she had rigged up in the slaver’s hold.

       “Who made you the leader of this operation, little Pashi?” 

        The woman she called Aunt Keela was older than Aunt Jade, Uncle Vasto’s adopted daughter from before he married the smuggler twenty years his junior, and she had a cooler head than Jade and Kali. Her tone was amused more than argumentative, and Pashi knew she would comply with the request sensibly. She smirked at the displays before her, and the little ball droid beside her beeped to remind her to hurry.

       “Right, sorry. I’m in charge because I have the most information, Aunt Keela. Isn't that how it works?”

       “That is how it's supposed to work, I presume. And what will you be doing while the rest of your sisters in bondage escape?” Keela’s voice was softly teasing. She knew exactly what Pashi would be doing.

      “Piloting the  _ Aeonhawk  _ and making use of that fancy ion cannon my dad had installed, obviously.”

 

        As thrilled as Poe was to find Pashi alive and well, he was not entirely prepared to show up to find the kid he'd raced off to save so dead set on jumping right back into danger. But it was difficult to argue against it for any practical, legitimate reasons. Technically, the  _ Aeonhawk _ belonged more to Pashi than it did to him. It was her father's ship and she had grown up on it, MDC-13 and all. The weird acerbic droid actually seemed to  _ like _ Pashi, and she had a familiar way with it that could only have come from years of working together. 

       The bulk of the freed captives had been spirited off on their way to the firmly-defended Naboo, protected under the auspices of Commandant Sloane's First Order, and the few that had decided to remain and fight were not about to deny Pashi her right to seek her own vengeance or follow the dictates of her personal code of honor and obligation. Jade Penthe and her co-pilot had experience enough to hold the same position - having seen Pashi pilot firsthand, they insisted she would be a most valuable asset.

     All of these reasons were absolutely logical, but conceding them left a bitter taste in Poe's mouth. Strangely, the girl seemed to understand, and he wondered if she'd been in his mind again by the way she clasped his shoulder in a gesture of comfort so quickly after yelling at the top of her lungs for him to get off of her ship.

    “Look, Dameron. I get it. You've lost a lot of people, and some of them because you made the wrong decisions.” He sighed, shrugging listlessly, and she let go of his shoulder to take his face in her hands and force him to meet her direct gaze. “I can't say I know what that's like, but… That's why you're the general, and I’m just a pilot. You’re uniquely qualified for something like this, you know.”

     “Uniquely qualified? Why does that make me feel old?” He ran a hand through his hair and looked around nervously. He had left the  _ Aeonhawk _ when Pashi insisted, but stood feeling rather lost in the  _ Consortium's  _ hangar with the handful of fighters and crew preparing for battle. She had come back down the ramp after him, probably because Pashi was too kind-hearted and friendly to stay angry very long.

    “Because you are old, Rebel Man. They don't make generals out of nineteen-year-old kids. No matter  _ how _ many incredibly awesome Force-assisted landings you do.” She grinned, teasing him. “I know if you had your own fighter you'd be out there with us, but take a look around for a second. Auntie Jade’s crew are a bunch of pirates. They're used to disorganized hit and runs.  _ You _ , on the other hand, have lead squadrons of Rebels and know what it's like to engage the First Order.”

    “Yeah, and I've watched a lot of people I care about die, kid.”

   Someone cleared their throat from the interior hangar door, and he looked up at the same time as Pashi, to see a tall Dathomiri woman with long silver hair and a body covered in tattoos, watching him with interest.

   “You have some very powerful friends, girl. In addition to the masters you serve.” 

   She strode forward, offering Poe her hand. He studied the woman carefully. She was older than Pashi, somewhere closer to his age, but her body was skin and bone, and her eyes held a bitter, dangerous glint. Lines etched in her face at the eyes and mouth spoke of years of pain and suffering, and beneath her tattoos a map of small scars traveled up and down her arms. She walked with a rolling limp, as if her feet were blistered from long travel, and close up he realised that in spite of her slim, bony frame, she was clearly pregnant.

     “It seems like you know who I am,” he took her hand and clasped it once, firmly, before letting go. “Care to give me the honor of knowing your name?”

     “I am called Teekala. My mother was a Force witch of the same name. I was kidnapped from Dathomir along with Soran Baasen and his mother.”

     “She's a seer,” Pashi supplied quickly. He frowned at her in confusion.

     “A seer?”

     The gray-skinned woman shrugged.

     “I have visions, gifted to me by the Force. Sometimes they come true, other times they do not. But this moment, these events, I have dreamed of for years. The flaming sword and the staff of light. The goddess of vengeance.” She studied Poe with semi-vacant eyes. “The heirs of the Resistance and the First Order. This is only the beginning. Your destiny will unfold in the aftermath, all of you.”

      She turned and limped up the ramp to the  _ Aeonhawk _ , ignoring Poe and Pashi's wide-eyed stare. The normally witty apprentice seemed to be tongue-tied, but she caught his confusion and snorted a short, muffled laugh. And in spite of his utter bafflement at the strange words of the Force witch, his ears picked up on that laugh and he smiled.

      “Don't worry, Rebel Man. Space magic is weird.”

      “Space magic,” he echoed, shaking his head. 

      He started to turn back into the heart of the cruiser, intending to find the control room with the area map Jade Penthe had taken him to earlier, when a blur of motion caught the corner of his eye and he turned to watch a Togruta child race into the hangar and latch onto Pashi's leg, much to the girl's surprise. Something told him to wait and he paused, BB-8 rolling up to whistle an inquiry at his feet. He shook his head, folding his arms over his chest as he leaned forward to listen.

       “No, Mela. You should be halfway to Naboo by now,” Pashi was shaking her head, patting the girl's horns absently. Poe could see the tips of her long head tails twitch in distress. “I know I said I'd find you a home, but I didn't mean with me. I’m about to get on this ship and get ready to blast TIE fighters, I can't concentrate if I'm worrying about you.”

       “But you let Teekala on board!”

       “Well, one, she's older than me so I can't really tell her what to do. And two, she's a Force witch from Dathomir, so I can't really tell her what to do.”

       “But she's having a baby! So if her baby can come, why can't I?”

        Pashi gave the heavy sigh of teenagers everywhere being forced to calmly explain the world to a stubborn youngster, and Poe took pity on her and wandered back over.

        “Who's the sprite?” He smiled as he said it. Mela glared until he squatted down to her height. “Hey, I'm Poe.”

        “Okay,” was the only response.

        “This is Mela Sana,” Pashi introduced him. “Mela, Poe is a good friend of mine. I trust him. A lot.”

         Mela peered at his face like she didn't believe a word of it.

         “He's human,” she said with a touch of disgust.

         “Yep,” Pashi agreed. “So’s my dad. He's a good guy too.”

         “You had real parents?” The surprised look in the child's eyes made Poe's easy smile suddenly freeze, and he caught a glint of righteous fury in Pashi’s quick glance.

         “I did. I'd like you to meet them one day.” She gestured at the ramp to the  _ Aeonhawk. “ _ This is my dad's ship. Poe brought it here to help rescue me. He chased Dralnu all the way from Naboo.”

          Now the girl's eyes fixed on him in sheer surprise and the wonder only a child's expression could maintain. For a brief second, Poe thought of his mother's wedding ring on the chain around his neck, and wondered if Kit had any thoughts on the domestic life. Probably not, he was still discovering the little joys of freedom like getting food whenever he wanted and having a credit chit with actual money on it, but maybe in the future...

         BB-8 had followed him over, and he noticed the girl's wide, excited eyes on the droid, who whistled at Poe, demanding an introduction.

         “Oh, right. This is BB-8. He's kinda my best friend.” He laughed as the orange-and-white ball spun its single viewing lense towards him in surprise. “Really? You didn't know?”

         The droid beeped, and Mela giggled.

         “Hey, you call me names, too, buddy. Watch the language with the kid.”

         BB-8’s lense slid back to Mela, studying her closely. She grinned as he circled her in a small loop, gently nudging at her hip until she patted his side.

         “It's nice to meet you, too, BB-8.” She leaned forward and pulled off the long, slightly bent piece of duraplast and selenium wire from the top of its head. “Here, your antennae is bent.”

          She giggled at BB-8’s whistle of gratitude and amusement as she reaffixed the straightened antennae.

          “Hey, Mela Sana?” Poe asked as casually as possible. “Could you do me a favor? I've got to go do a bunch of boring strategizing with Captain Penthe and her crew. Can you keep an eye on BB-8 for me? He'll be managing communications between the main ship and the smaller fighters like Pashi's.”

          Pashi shot him a look of immense relief as the Togruta clapped her hands and nodded. Poe smiled and led both the droid and the child away so she could get on with the task of going over her ship preflight. Maybe - just maybe - he hadn't completely botched the whole leadership thing yet.

       Lt. Kaydel Connix could only imagine the hard-faced man sitting across from her was just as uncomfortable as she was. She certainly had no idea how to start this meeting, although given the pile of notes and datapads that occupied both sides of the table, there surely must be something. Instead they were quietly rereading notes they had both most likely reviewed numerous times previously, avoiding eye contact like a starfighter avoided surface cannons.

        Eventually, the First Order officer, Lt. Mitaka, cleared his throat, and she had no choice but to look up.

        “You have reviewed the documents prepared by the commandant and our committee for armistice?”

        “Yes.” 

        Oh, yes, they had. In detail over two days and one night, while Finn insisted it must be a trap, despite having met Commandant Sloane and speaking well of her. And Rose Tico and Commander D’acy, acting on orders from General Dameron, had overruled him. Privately, Kaydel Connix suspected that as insistent upon the need for negotiations as the commandant was, there were others under her command who still saw the Rebels and the Resistance as the enemy. She just didn't know whether Lt. Mitaka was one of them, or how he would respond to their counter offer. But, Connix supposed she'd just have to do her job and find out.

       “Commander Tico and Commander D’acy have compiled a counter offer, under General Dameron’s guidance.” 

        Meaning they'd checked off on a few keypoints and sent him the final draft to sign off on. Whether he read it or not - probably not, if Kaydel knew the General - was his problem. She slid a datapad across the table, leaning over to point out the biggest changes.

       “Two years instead of one?”

       “One year is barely enough time to review the outcome of the rest of these conditions. I'm sure your command can understand that. And it's another year for us, too.”

       “Hmm. That’s surprisingly reasonable,” his eyes continued moving down the document. “Embassies on Coruscant and Kuat? And who will you be placing in these embassies?”

        She sighed. Did he not read the rest of the paragraph?

        “Ambassadors, obviously,” she supplied dryly.

        “ _ Unarmed _ ambassadors?”

        “You'll be getting two as well. We're leaving it open as to where, those are just suggestions. General Dameron believes they could be guarded by the…” she had a difficult time wrapping her mind around this part herself, “Knights of Ren. Apparently, impartial mercenary work is something they intend to do.”

         His eyes shot up, but she could only shrug at his surprise. 

         “Your general is willing to allow our ambassadors and one of Kylo Ren’s Knights to guard them? On any planet we choose?” He scoffed. Connix couldn't blame him.

         “He's Ben Solo again, and apparently he has a wife now. I guess that makes him more trustworthy?”

          They both shared a speculative look about how the adjective “trustworthy” could be applied to Kylo Ren.

          “I trust Rey,” she said finally.

          “Even though she married that monster?” He gave her a disgusted grimace. “I can't imagine he treats her well. The man could rip apart an instrument panel over a droid. What will he do to his  _ wife? _ ”

          Kaydel Connix suddenly found herself done with this meeting. Regardless of General Dameron and Commandant Sloane's mutual respect, it was too much to ask their subordinates to work together and pretend to have peaceful intentions overnight. She got to her feet and reclaimed her datapad.

         “I'm not sitting here discussing the private lives of people who aren't even relevant to this agreement. Tell your command to send someone more civilized next time.”

          She strode to the door, leaving the First Order officer slumped in his chair, laughing to himself for some weird reason the lieutenant didn't even want to think about.

          Commander D’acy let out a startled gasp as Connix threw open the door and nearly knocked her over. She apologized immediately, but the commander recovered quickly.

         “Nevermind that. We've got new orders. For both of you,” she called over Connix’s shoulder. “You're to report to the bridge immediately.”

         The young woman caught her superior officer with a concerned stare.

         “What? What's happened now?”

         “We have a situation regarding General Hux. It's not good.”

         “Of course it's not,” Lt. Mitaka said from behind her. “You imbeciles have let him escape, haven't you? I can't believe he wasn't executed immediately.”

          The two Resistance officers eyed each other. Kaydel could tell from D’acy’s face that the man was right, and her eyes widened.

          “But… we're in Hutt Space! He can't have jumped in a pod, the slavers and pirates will be on him before he even reaches a planet!”

           Lt. Mitaka gave a soft bark of disgust, and they both turned to look at him curiously. The officer gave what passed for a grim smile.

          “Allow me to give you ladies an insight. Armitage Hux is a vile, whimpering, greasy coward… So of course, his friends are also vile, greasy cowards.”

          “His friends. He has friends? One of the officers who came with you?” Connix asked. Mitaka rolled his eyes.

         “Of course not. I don't think Hux has a single friend in the entire First Order. His bunch of rebels turned themselves over to Commandant Sloane after being left without vital resources on Jakku due to his incompetency. But that doesn't mean he doesn't  _ have _ friends.” He paused for effect, watching the expressions of horror dawning. “Yes, precisely. Slavers and pirates are exactly the kind of friends Armitage Hux has.”

         “We're assembling a team to follow the pod’s trajectory. Planetfall on Tatooine is expected to take three hours,” D’acy explained as they walked towards the bridge. Lt. C’ai and Commander Rose Tico, now clearly showing in the second trimester of pregnancy, peered up at a holoscreen showing a map of the planet. Rose turned as soon as they reached the bridge.

         “Sorry to interrupt your meeting, but Finn is going to take a team down to Tatooine and I've been told I’m not allowed to leave this cruiser unless it's on fire,” Rose smiled apologetically. Connix gave a sympathetic smile. “Lt. Mitaka, Commander Allbright has asked that you be allowed to participate in the mission as well. 

        “What?” Kaydel snapped, just as the First Order officer made a similar grunt of displeasure.

        “This is a matter that affects you as much as us,” D’acy explained. “The  _ Depredation  _ is sending reinforcements and we're expecting some assistance from a Rebel cell on Ryloth, but time is of the essence.”

       “Understood,” Mitaka said flatly. He was accustomed to following orders, even if he didn't like them. That was just part of being in the military, although now that Hux and Kylo Ren were out of the way, he had suffered through far fewer instances of incompetent orders.

      “Good,” D’acy nodded. “Captain Tico is waiting for you in the hangar.”

      Kaydel shot Rose a reassuring glance, knowing how much she would hate sitting up here in the safety of the cruiser while her husband and the father of her baby was engaged planetside. They had married in a small, private ceremony conducted on the Rebel’s new cruiser as soon as they returned from Kashyyyk, and having no surname of his own, the ex-Stormtrooper had instead taken his wife's name. Connix had the feeling Rose was particularly pleased at this, as she had observed them more once in a private exchange when the short woman affectionately referred to her husband as Captain or Mr. Tico.

     Rose smiled back and gave Connix a nod at the unspoken reassurance. The Rebels had already lost so much. Losing anyone else on this mission was simply unacceptable. 

    “May the Force be with you,” D’acy intoned solemnly as they turned from the bridge. Surprisingly, it was Lt. Mitaka who replied.

   “The same to you, as well.”


	33. Preflight Manuevers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally back to some good Reylo smut.
> 
> And getting my second favorite lovebirds in this story back together. There's some catching up to do, but as always, now's not the time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've outpaced my husband/beta reader at this point. If you happen to catch any errors from here out, that's all on me.

   He waited until the others were asleep, especially Kirin. All their things were packed and stored on the ship with the exception of the blankets and pallet they slept on, and it was a simple matter of wrapping his wife in a cocoon of fabric before carrying her along with their bedding to the ship. Rey stirred halfway down, a drowsy, but amused look in her eyes.

   “It doesn't feel like sunrise,” she whispered.

  “Oh, it's not.”

  “Ben…” she sighed. “I think we should probably rest-”

  “We will. After I get on my knees and remind you that I’m the only one who belongs there,” he declared. In spite of herself, she felt her blood warming at the thought and she gave him a little half-grin.

  “Well, if you insist…” She trailed off, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck.

  “I do.”

  “I don't want you to feel obligated just because of some vague thing I said earlier,” her tone was light, teasing, and he kissed her thoroughly as he came to a stop before the _Sparrowhawk_ ’s ramp.

   “I'm always obligated to pleasure you. It's my favorite and most sacred duty.”

   “Oh, well. I wouldn't want to stop you from something so clearly sentimental.” She raised an eyebrow, and he carried her the rest of the way into the ship setting her on her feet while she divested herself of blankets and bedding. “I feel a bit warm, I think I might be overdressed.”

   “I agree,” he watched as she slipped off her leggings and underwear. She stalked towards him with mischief in her eyes, and he couldn't look away, his eyes devouring her even though he'd seen and had his mouth on nearly every inch of her body.

“Let's see… If I remember correctly, you're supposed to be on your knees.” Rey’s hands on his shoulders were firm, and he obediently lowered himself to the ground, his eyes just level with her hips.

Quickly, he lifted one leg over his shoulder, and shoved his face into her sex, inhaling sharply at how much fluid was already gathered there.

“Gods, Rey. Tell me it's just me that you're this wet for.”

His tongue reached into the top of her sex, teasing out the hard pearl of flesh, already tender and swollen. She moaned and raked her hands through his hair, holding onto fistfulls and dragging him closer.

“Of course it's just you.” She paused thoughtfully, then shook her head. “No, anything else I've experienced feels vulgar and uninspiring. _You_ make me like this. Your smell, your hands, your voice."

“Tell me,” he demanded, muffled by her body. His efforts had teased out her most sensitive node, and she gasped and her hips thrust forward instinctively.

“Oh, gods. I was so wet in that interrogation chair, after you took your mask off. All I wanted to do was grab you by the hair and put my tongue in your mouth.” She whimpered, then groaned as his fingers slid inside her, two at first, pumping into her with a steady, firm rhythm. “Ahhh… Ben, kriff, I can't  think-”

“Keep talking or I'll stop and leave you like this,” he threatened. She knew he was bluffing, she could feel his arousal, hot and greedy through the bond, but she wasn't ready for him to move on from what he was doing.

“After the _Supremacy_ , I had dreams,” she panted. “Things happened differently, we were together…”

He added a third, and then his fourth finger, his palm cupped around her as he curled his fingers and continued to press his tongue to her front in rapid, deep licks. Rey moaned and felt her legs grow weak, bracing herself on his shoulder until he shifted his weight and looped his other arm around her waist to steady her.

“Fucking stars, Ben. I dreamed about fucking you!” She gasped again, and he could tell by the way her hips pressed into his hand and her fingers clutched at his head that she was close. “Does that make you happy?”

“Yes, it does.” He pressed his mouth to her, sucking at her raised pearl until she reached a higher pitch of moaning and her whole body froze around him.

 _Yes_ , _come for me, Rey. I love your taste._

_Gods, Ben… Oh, that feels incredible…_

He kept lapping at her, more gently, his hand curling and uncurling slowly as she rode out the waves of her climax. As she panted, winding down, he stood up dragged her into a deep kiss and she responded, sliding her tongue over his and into his mouth, until she had to break to breathe.

“I feel like you get better at that everytime,” she breathed, sliding her arms around his neck.

“I've been practicing.” He smiled and kissed her again. Her eyes brightened with a soft smile.

“I've been practicing, too,” she whispered pressing her lips to his again before she began to trail them down his neck.

Her hands nimbly worked at his belt and as soon as he shrugged out of his padded tunic, she was tugging at his shirt and her lips and tongue trailed over as much of his skin as she could get to. Slowly, so it was clear exactly what she was doing, she sank to her knees and freed his straining cock. Rey grinned up at him as his head fell back and he groaned, his hands cupping the back of her head and then moving to stroke her hair as she took him into her mouth.

“What did I ever do to deserve this?” He whispered with soft reverence.

_Feeling guilty? Shall I punish you a little?_

_Fuck. Yes, please._

She had been working on her concentration, and he would have been impressed if her wasn't too preoccupied with trying to breathe and stay upright. His eyes were caught downwards, where his cock disappeared from the base into her mouth and he held her head, gently, until he was unable to control the urge to thrust. And then he felt her fingers curl against his thigh and his throat constricted to allow only, shallow, panting breaths.

_Kriffing hell, woman. Are you trying to kill me?_

_I’m pretty sure we're past that stage in our relationship. You know, with the whole marriage thing and all._

_If I die this way, I only ask that you… that you explain… in detail…_

_I'd be dead too. Force Bond, remember?_

Ben couldn't concentrate enough to keep up with her mental commentary, and she kept him an inch away from finishing with her talented tongue and clenching fist. Rey knew exactly what she was doing, tormenting him the way he'd asked, but he growled in frustration when he couldn't take it anymore and tugged not-quite-gently on her hair to pull her to her feet.

“What, are you done already?” She smirked, wiping her mouth with back of her hand, her eyes dark and challenging.

“Not even close.”

He seized her by the hair again and shoved her forward against the nearest flat surface, one hand parting her legs while his other arm pressed down firmly against her back.

“What is it with you and -” her voice cut off in a moan of pleasure as he slipped inside her, thrusting until he was fully sheathed.

“You were saying something? Rey?” He leaned over to whisper in her ear, his tone low and almost - _almost_ \- dispassionate.

“It's just become a pattern,” she gasped between his hard thrusts. “On starships. You always want to… have me… bent over something.”

He stopped and her hands gripped the edge of the counter she was sprawled over, pushing herself back against him.

“I never heard you complaining.”

“I'm not. I'm not!” He remained still and she growled irritably. “Move, dammit, I can't do much this way.”

He started a gentle, steady rhythm that he knew wasn't going to satisfy either of them, but her little grunts and feeble attempts to get more friction were entertaining, and he could hold out a little longer if it meant seeing Rey truly desperate and begging to be fucked.

“I can still choke you this way,” she threatened.

“So? Do it.”

“Ahh… You'd like it too much.” She whined and writhed beneath him. “Kriff, Ben! Will you at least pull my hair or something?”

“Define ‘something.’”

He continued his easy pace, closing his eyes and relaxing into the feeling of her, warm and wet and so very welcoming. Every time she writhed or whined at him, her muscles tightened around him and he loved it, but it wasn't quite enough to finish either of them. Finally she sighed, and he allowed himself a smile of triumph that she couldn't see.

“ _Fuck me_. Fuck me like you mean it, you smug bastard,” she growled. “Or I'll choke you until you pass out and finish myself!”

He grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled, digging his fingers into her hip as he did just that, the strength of his movement nearly shaking the entire ship. Rey gave a low, hoarse moan of relief, her back arching as she braced herself on her hands.

“Yes, fuck, _yes_ , like that!” The rest of her words were incoherent, wild and ragged, and he groaned in response as the sounds of her pleasure went straight to his cock.

“All you had to do was ask,” he gasped.

He was always afraid he was going to be too rough and hurt her, but they were both stressed and needful of the outlet, so he closed his eyes and let himself go, feeling the dark and light in the Force that swirled between them. She felt it too, reaching out for him across their bond, and when they fell into their _place_ , it was different. Black mists surrounded them at first, but the bright white shimmered into life from between them, and where they met, in the center, was a subtle gray glow. _Balance._

_Kylo?_

_Yes. Yes, Rey._

_Don't be afraid. I feel it, too._

_I know._

  
  


    There was no reason why she always dreamed about Ryloth. The hard, hot red desert and the cool homes in the caverns beneath. Pashi had been to the Twi'lek homeworld once in her life, when her dad talked her into accompanying Uncle Vasto to bury his mother. It had been one of those childhood memories that still irritated her, even as an adult. The planet was hot and dry. The caves were interesting, but the local guards wouldn't let her explore as much as she wanted (Uncle Vasto trusted her, of course), and didn't make exceptions for having the Force. Mostly, she remembered sitting in Aunt Keela’s apartment, watching holos and eating iced fruit popsicles.

      _“Pashi!”_

It was kind of interesting to be around people who looked like her at first, until she realized they didn't think of her as part of their people. Or at least, some didn't. Some people who didn't know them very well said nasty things about Vasto, and the one time they had gone to meet her mother's family (Wastrel had warned her not to expect too much, but Pashi was curious), they said that word. In basic it just meant a blending of two different things - races, flowers, foods, engines - but in their native tongue it held a derogatory connotation. _Hybrid. Half-blood. Mongrel._ Even the other children were cruel.

      _“Hey, kid!”_

      Uncle Vasto was angry the entire time, but it wasn't until they got back to the _Aeonhawk_ to return to Taris that he opened up to Pashi and she realized he wasn't mad at her, he was mad at the situation. At how awful she was treated, and the cruel things said even amongst adults who should have known better.

       _“Time to wake up, kid!”_

 

“Eh?” The harsh, hot landscape fell away and suddenly the voice yelling at her morphed from Uncle Vasto to Poe Dameron. She sat up quickly in her room on the _Aeonhawk,_ blinking. She had gone to take a quick nap once she was certain the ship was ready, but she felt like she'd slept a lot longer than intended.

      “What's up, Rebel Man?” She shouted through the door as she scrambled to pull on pants and get her breast bindings done up under her shirt. She hastily rubbed mint-scented oil from her nightstand into the skin of her face and head tails, and popped one of her favorite caffeinated hard candies into her mouth. Her fingers brushed the hilt of her recovered lightsaber before she fastened on her belt and opened the door.

       “I thought I told you to get the hell off my ship?” She grinned so he knew she was teasing. From down in the crew bunks, she heard Teekala cursing. “You woke up the witch, you'd better scram before she uses her space magic to turn you into an Ewok. Go on, I'll follow you.”

       “That's… that's not how the Force works,” he muttered, glancing nervously down the hall. But he retreated quickly, and Pashi scrambled after him.

       “My room’s unlocked, Teekala, feel free to grab some clothes if you want,” she called down the hall. She'd be swimming in anything of Pashi's, but it would still be better than the scavenged scraps from the slavers. She trotted after Poe down the ramp to the _Consortium's_ hangar, still rubbing sleep out of her eyes. And then she froze.

        All at once her heart began to pound, and she couldn't get enough of air in her lungs. Pashi was not the type to cry or swoon, but right at that moment, she felt like she could do both. She swallowed, her mouth half-parted of its own accord, but no words came out.

       “Hello, my nightbird.”

       She bit down on the candy in her mouth, chewed up the bits and swallowed hurriedly, just in time to meet Kirin’s soft, violet lips. Arms and head tails entwined as they reacquainted themselves, and Pashi could not care less about the public display in the open hanger where dozens of people were moving around, trying to get their business done, including Poe Dameron and her Aunt Jade. Vaguely she felt Rey and Kylo-Ben somewhere nearby, and the footsteps on the ramp could only be Teekala. And they could all rot in the Rylothian desert as far as Pashi was concerned.

       It was Kirin who pulled back, finally, smiling at Pashi's whine of displeasure. Her delicate hand smoothed out the jacket and belt she wore, lingering on the hilt of the lightsaber on her hip. Kirin's eyes caught hers, and she never wanted to look at anything else ever again.

       She pried Pashi's hands free and examined them carefully, fingertips tracing each knuckle, front and back.

       “You could have left a couple scars,” Pashi grinned at Kirin's quick smirk.

       “Why? So you could show them off at the cantina?”

        She shrugged. “Some girls like scars.”

        “I am the only girl whose opinion matters, and I like your skin soft and smooth as it is, especially your hands.”

        “Whatever you want, my love.”

        She paused as Kirin's bright eyes widened, and Pashi's heart pounded in her ears. She shouldn't have assumed… even if Kirin said she wanted more, it was too soon to use that kind of language, but…

        “I love you, too.”

        Pashi wanted very much to drag her into the ship, lock the door to her cabin, and not come out until there were targets to blow out of the sky. She had no doubt she could carry Kirin exactly like Kylo-Ben carried Rey, and she knew Kirin would be just as annoyed by it. Unfortunately, she was interrupted by a pointed throat-clearing behind her, and Kirin's eyes brightened with sudden tears as Pashi turned to see the Dathomiri woman watching them rather impatiently.

        “Teekala!”

        For the barest second, Pashi might have been jealous. But it passed quickly when the tattooed ex-slave responded awkwardly to Kirin's hug, and Kirin backed away swiftly.

        “Sorry, I know you don't like to be touched.”

        “For you, bright eyes, I can make an exception.” Her yellow eyes flicked over to Pashi. “I took care of your lover as much as I could, but I think she did a better job taking care of us.”

        When Kirin turned toward her again, Pashi noticed something unusual, and she strode closer to examine the braided white belt Kirin wore as a sash, similar to Master Rey's, but with more flashy bits of metal charms and blue and violet beads.

       “Genji made you a belt?”

       “It's a bit more than that,” came the answer from behind Pashi.

       She turned and hugged Master Rey, her eyes threatening to tear up again. That was one of the best things about Rey - there was no awkward, tense or weird body language in her embrace. When Rey hugged, she gave it her all, demonstrating her affection with no trace of embarrassment or fear of rejection. Pashi returned her strong embrace just as warmly.

       “You came for me,” Pashi said in amazement.

       “Doesn't really seem like we needed to,” came Master Ben’s voice from just to the side of Rey. For such a large man, he could move very quietly, like a stealthy jungle predator. Pashi thought about it for a moment, and decided to hug him, too, if only to feel the surprised grunt and awkward head patting.

      “But you _did,_ ” she insisted on repeating. “You came for me, and I'm grateful.”

      “It was never even a question, my love,” Kirin explained. “They even stole a Star Destroyer.”

      “ _Stole?_ ” Her eyes flicked up to Master Ben's. “You stole a Star Destroyer to come after me?”

      “No, Kirin, we didn't _steal_ it.” Ben Solo rolled his eyes. “I _gifted_ it to the Knights of Ren as my last act as Supreme Leader-”

      “Wait, you gave up being Supreme Leader? Who's running the First Order now? You didn't give it to Hux, did you?” Pashi couldn't decide who to look at, until her eyes fell on Kirin and her beautiful, amethyst eyes dancing with amusement.

       “Commandant Sloane is now in charge of the forces I led and those who defected with Hux. It seems without _Armitage_ around, they got brave enough to do something about their a lack of competent leadership,” Ben explained.

        “But… No offense, Master, but, _why?"_

 _"_ I'll try to catch you up," Kirin said with a smile, "But there's a  _lot_ to share."

         Of course, they were interrupted by the proximity and battle station alarms on the  _Consortium_ , followed by Aunt Jade’s voice over the general comm speakers.

          "We've got two Destroyers in coming!"

          " _Two?_ Kriffing balls!" Pashi turned to sprint back up the ship, jerking her head to Teekala. "Can you handle the targeting?"

          "I can," came a confident voice from right behind her. She turned, giving Kirin a wide-eyed stare. Her girlfriend looked amused, and Pashi realized she had changed a lot since they were together last. She only hoped they had grown more towards each other than apart.

         "Alright, it's the same system as the  _Sparrowhawk,_ but there's a cannon. Controls are on the right, it takes thirty seconds to charge." She settled herself into the pilot's seat, smiling when Kirin's brilliant eyes caught hers for a brief moment as she was buckling in by her side.

         "You're on the comms, Teekala," she said, tossing the Force witch a headset. Pashi glanced around once more, visually double-checking like Kayt and Vasto taught her. "Are we good?"

         "We're good. Take us into battle, my nightbird."

         She glanced again to her right, and the sight of Kirin buckled in and setting the targeting system like a professional co-pilot made her heart soar.


	34. Backup Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirin needs a moment. Pashi’s family definitely has a problem with drugging people.
> 
> The next couple chapters will be a lot of space wizardry and fighting, so enjoy  
> the smutty goodness while it's here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahem... there's a certain innuendo in this chapter title if you're that kind of person... (I am that kind of person)
> 
> I forgot to add warnings when I posted so - FYI the smut at the end is very rough, no worse than anything before, but just to be safe, here's a warning.

   "On your right, ten o’clock!” Pashi shouted. “Fire now and you can get three of them!”

   "Okay, okay, give me a minute-” Kirin scrambled, flustered, at the controls, then bit her lip. They were too close. She could feel the TIE pilots, their anxiety and confusion, adrenaline and fear-

    “NOW, Kirin!”

    Her thumb hovered over the trigger, and she swallowed, closing her eyes. She had to do this, there was no time to choke, Rey and Ben were out there, along with two fighters from Pashi’s Aunt’s crew, and there were too many TIEs. Kirin trembled, trying to breathe. And then she felt it, the demon-goddess swirling within her, the red-eyed, black-skinned creature in the mirror opening its eyes.

    “Nice shot! I knew you could do this,” Pashi praised.

   “That's funny, I was sure of the opposite,” MDC-13’s metallic voice echoed.

   “Shut it, Medici, or I'll install that sexy vocal modulator I won off Calrissian,” she yelled.

    Turning to Kirin, she flashed a quick wink.

     Kirin tried to smile, but it felt forced. Her face took on a grimace of concentration, pushing aside her emotions, reaching out to use the darkness like a cloak. It covered her, suddenly, and the feelings of others, the constant background noise of energy and emotion, was silent, and she felt her breathing even out.

     Calmly, she set the cannon to recharge, and focused on the shield controls. Running full-strength shields all the time apparently sapped the _Aeonhawk’s_ power, but Pashi’s father and the elder Pashi had modified it so power could be diverted at will, provided the co-pilot knew what they were doing.

     She was trying, she really was, but there were so many buttons and toggles and there were TIEs everywhere, and the Star Destroyer in the viewport was huge and-

    “Forward left shields!” Pashi called. Kirin hastened to flip the switch over and redirect the energy.

    “No, _left_ , Kirin!”

    “Okay, sorry, sorry,” she adjusted the switch and tried again, relieved to find the appropriate quadrant lighting up her screen as they passed beneath the range of the Star Destroyer and its fire bounced harmlessly away. Pashi spared her a quick glance.

    “It’s alright Kirin, I know its a lot to take in.”

    She nodded, biting her lip. Pashi’s stable focus penetrated the black cloak of her shields, and she swallowed, letting it sink in.

    “I could easily moderate the shield control from here,” MDC-13 complained. All three women in the cockpit ignored him.

    “Two more oncoming!” Teekala yelled.

    Kirin reached for the cannon trigger, but something made her hesitate. Irritably, she shook it off, drawing the shielding dark around her. It didn’t matter, they deserved to die, they would kill her and Pashi and everyone else if they had the opportunity.

    “Kirin,” Pashi began.

    She opened her closed eyes and went for the trigger again, but the cannon’s bright beam flashed through both fighters at once before she could pull it. Eyes wide, she spun around in her seat, gaze traveling over Teekala, who didn't have the requisite controls, to the droid behind her.

     “If you're capable of targeting the weapons and shielding, what am I even doing up here?” She demanded. Besides her, Pashi groaned.

     “Medici, tell me you didn't override the weapons access code _again.”_

     “Okay. I did not override the weapons access code again. There's another fighter coming up on the left.”

     Kirin saw it, but the cannon took time to charge. The secondary guns weren’t very effective, but for now it was all they had, so she aimed and fired. Once the cannon was fully charged, she sent its beam through the TIE coming up beside them. Two more replaced it, but this time even though Kirin fired a few warning shots, she realized they didn't fire back.

    “Wait, wait,” Pashi flipped through the comm frequencies hastily. “Hold your fire, I think those are-”

    “Hold your fire, _Aeonhawk_ ,” came Poe Dameron’s firm voice. “Those TIEs coming in are friendly.”

    “ _Fuck!_ ” Pashi turned and they stared at each other in dawning horror.

    “Were those others…” Kirin felt tears threatening to build, and her shield of darkness fell away. “Pashi, did we kill our allies? Pashi?”

    The other girl slammed her fist into the console and sat back in her seat.

    “I don’t know.” She flipped some switches. “Teekala, can you get an open channel to one of those new Silencers?”

    “I’m trying,” the Dathomiri promised.

   “Trying is not the same as doing,” MDC-13 observed. “It might be more effective if you start by opening the long-range radio signal.”

    “Be silent, Garbage Bot, or I will give your favorite appendage to Captain Penthe in gratitude for our rescue,” the Force witch threatened.

    “Poe, how are we supposed to differentiate here? This is a mess!” Pashi complained.

    “Yeah, I know, kid. Just stay out of range and hold until we get confirmation.”

    Kirin took a deep breath, her eyes closed as she let her senses expand. Carefully, she pushed out to the battle around them, noting their masters aboard Rey’s ship and Kali the Rodian in her small fighter. She could feel the enemy pilots, their minds focused and nearly devoid of any personal agency. But there were others she recognized, one in particular.

    “Teekala, there should be a black modified Silencer somewhere below, to the left of the _Consortium_ ,” she instructed, her eyes still closed.

    “Yes, I see it.”

    “Can you get a message through?”

    “Let me see if they will answer my signal- shut up, droid, I think I have figured this part out now!”

    They waited a few moments, but were rewarded by a very familiar warbling growl. Kirin couldn’t understand him from this far away without stretching her senses even further, but Pashi did.

    “Genji! That’s Master Ben’s fighter.”

    He gave a very apologetic huff in response, and even Kirin could understand the gist of it. He had flown it before with Ben’s permission, and they needed help. Then he growled and huffed something else, and Pashi’s smile faded.

    “Oh, kriffing hell.” She turned towards Kirin, but she didn’t have to say it, the other girl could see the sorrow and regret in her eyes and feel it in her bones. Kirin unbuckled herself and got up without a word, fleeing the cockpit as the Force swirled around her dangerously. She went without thinking into the furthest cabin and curled in on herself on the dusty bunk, hiding her sobs against her knees.

    This was why. This was why she had never held a weapon, never raised a hand, even in her own defense. She could feel the way the Force moved dangerously around her, spreading out slowly to inflict her emotions on the nearest people around her. Teekala could probably cope, the Dathomiri knew enough to keep herself shielded, but Pashi had never had any reason to hold herself back from Kirin, and she didn’t even have the chance to try. Kirin could feel the weight of her reflected emotions wash over her girlfriend, and almost saw the tears pouring from Pashi’s dark eyes.

    _I can’t do this, she needs to focus or we’re all going to be blown out of space._

    But she couldn’t, she couldn’t help herself, she had let it in and now the darkness was there in her bones, twisting her gifts into something sickening and harmful. Kirin barely lifted her head when she heard footsteps in the cabin, so she had no time to react when the modified old medical droid reached a finger towards her neck, getting out only a muffled yelp as a tiny needle poked out of the metal casing and jabbed into her neck. She vaguely heard Pashi cursing and screaming at it, and then everything went black.

  
  


      “What the hell? Is that Kylo Ren’s fighter?” Poe watched the specialized TIE take down two other TIEs targeting the _Sparrowhawk._

      “Yes,” came the confirmation from its owner over the comm general comm. “It seems we've gotten some unauthorized backup.”

      “You know, your apprentices are almost more trouble than they're worth,” Poe quipped. “They could have at least given their fighters a new paint job.”

      He had expected a smart retort from Pashi, and was concerned when it didn't come. Instead, Rey’s voice responded with some trepidation.

     “Poe, I think we should pull back and make a jump. Something about this doesn't feel right.”

     “What do you mean it doesn't feel right? Are we talking scavenger instincts or space magic, Lady Solo?” He had been surprised when Pashi let it slip that Rey and Ben were married on Kashyyyk, and it bothered him more than he cared to admit, but he was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

      It would be a long time before he got accustomed to Ben Solo being around, but he had to admit, the man had been well-behaved so far, and his immediate determination to chase down his kidnapped apprentice had earned Poe's respect.

      “Space magic,” Ben’s deep voice was dry, but Poe could hear a feminine snicker in the background. “Well, I'm glad you find the term so amusing, _Lady Solo._ ”

      “No, stop. Please,” Rey begged. “I guess keeping it secret was too much to ask, but I am not ready to be anyone's lady.”

      “Too bad, I like it,” Ben said.

      “Yeah, me too,” Poe was surprised to find himself agreeing with the man once again. That was twice now, he hoped it wasn't setting a precedent. Or maybe he hoped it _was_ setting a precedent. Either way, they had more important things to worry about. “So it's just a general space magic bad feeling?”

      “Those are brand new Destroyers,” Ben said solemnly. “I've never seen either of them before. Genji is in my personal fighter, and neither one is a recognized designation.”

     “So… Who's controlling them, then?”

     “I don't know, but it's not safe to sit here while we find out. We were expecting to engage hostiles coming to collect their cargo, but two Star Destroyers for a cargo of a hundred slaves seems unreasonable.”

     Poe would never get over how surprisingly normal his voice sounded without the modulation, or how calmly intelligent he was. It reminded him a little of Leia, and that freaked him out.

     “I don't feel comfortable leaving our backup alone, though.”

      “Well, I can't broadcast our jump sequence on the general comms -”

      “No worries,” came a voice Poe had been missing. “Broadcast here and Teekala and I can send the signal to Genji. He'll get it through to everyone else.”

      “Welcome back, kid, where ya been?”

      “Ahhh. I’d rather not explain over the general comms, but we're gonna need to make an emergency landing in the _Consortium_ ’s hanger.” Pashi's voice sounded hoarse and breathless, like she'd been running laps around the ship.

      “Maintenance issues? But I know you and I both did a preflight inspection!”

      “No, it's not maintenance. Just a… medical emergency,” she sounded angry and irritated, so Poe decided not to press the issue, he'd find out soon enough.

      “Right. Okay, Captain Penthe is plotting a course now that will take us around to the far side of Arkanis, as soon as she's done, I'll send out the coordinates.”

      He frowned, watching the _Aeonhawk_ pass in front of the cruiser’s viewport to land in the small hangar. He only saw Pashi in the pilot's chair, Kirin was nowhere to be seen.

      “I've got the coordinates,” Captain Penthe said from the console beside him, distracting him from watching Pashi's ship. “Shall I send them out, General?”

      “Yeah, go ahead and get us out of here as soon as that ship lands.”

      “Already on it,” she replied, but Poe was already making his way down to the hangar. He failed to notice the captain’s worried frown, or her nod of approval at the small, child-size shadow and rolling droid that followed him.

 

      Once she'd finished inputting the astrogation coordinates, Rey reached over to flip on the autopilot and noticed the red message received light blinking on the long-range comm. Her eyes met Ben’s just as he was reaching over her to activate it, and he stopped when she raised her eyebrows.

      “This is _my_ ship. Hands off, remember?” But she hit the button before jumping, just in case.

      _“Rey, it's Finn. If you get this, it means we're trapped on Tatooine and that bastard Hux got away. He somehow broke out of his cell on the new Resistance cruiser and his escape pod made planetfall here. There's a ship waiting for him, and we're trying to stop him, but if he gets out of atmo, the cruiser is gonna have to follow him. Don't worry about me, you've got to find Hux…”_

      Ben cursed more fluently than she'd ever heard him and immediately took off towards the back of the ship while Rey tried to calculate whether it would be worth it to jump towards Tatooine, or if they should just continue towards Arkanis with everyone else. She would have appreciated his input, but she could feel through the bond that he was near incoherence.

      She realized Finn’s message wasn't the only one. The little red light was still blinking urgently, and she recognized Soran’s code. Frowning, she turned down the volume, because she knew it was the last voice Ben would want to hear.

       _“I tracked Dralnu to Tatooine. Nyarla's sources have him meeting with Hux there. I got a bounty hunter friend of mine to keep them separated, but I’m afraid I had to let Hux steal his ship in order to leave Dralnu stranded. I’m hoping I can corner him off-guard. I’m sending you the registration on the stolen ship. Hopefully we can both catch our quarry. Force be with you and all that.”_

        Rey had never been so grateful to an enemy before. Dralnu and Hux had played each other and didn't even realize they'd already lost. Grinning, she contacted Thalia back on board the _Absolution_ and asked if she could reset the active tracking on the tiny ship that had once been part of the cargo cruiser they'd been following. When she had all the algorithms and astrogation coordinates figured out, she reset the autopilot accordingly and went to find Ben.

 

        

     He needed to focus. He needed Rey, but his rage was too intense even for that. He didn't trust himself. He should have just executed the man when they had him. Rey had given him the choice, and he knew it was her right to decide, but he should have made sure Armitage Hux never made it off that ship alive...

    Of course the Resistance had let him escape, those incompetent bleeding hearts probably gave him a nice clean cell and three meals a day. Well, Finn most likely would have been more careful, but if he knew his mother's vermin, without Dameron around to force it on them, they probably wouldn't give the traitor much of a voice.

     Fucking _General_ Dameron, leaving the miserable idiots to govern themselves so he could go rushing off to play the hero…. He should have been there, he would never have let Hux out of his fucking sight! They were all fools, all of them, but deep down, he knew it was his own fault, he'd always known what kind of person Armitage Hux was….he should have put a lightsaber through his neck the second he walked into the audience chamber after the lightspeed crash, but no, he needed Hux, because the generals of the First Order didn't really trust Force users, Kylo Ren had no real rank among them, he was Snoke’s creature, not a part of the military…

     He had so many opportunities to get rid of the man… Force fucking knows what hole he crawled back to, and now he'd be biding his time… They had to get to Arkanis, they couldn't let Hux get his hands on an army of submissive Force-users, _fuck, fuck, fuck…._

      **_“BEN!”_ **

      He froze. Rey looked like she had been standing there saying his name for a few minutes, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. He had been pacing the cargo hold, and, he realized, talking to himself. Slowly, because he was afraid of his own reaction, but desperately needed her all the same, he let his eyes move up from the floor to her face. As soon as he met her gaze, he knew it was a mistake. But he couldn't stop himself, she was everything that was good and bright and sane and he had to have her, right now.

      Rey let him take her by the arms, digging his fingers into the bare skin above her arm wraps, and there was nothing gentle in his kiss, he swept his tongue into her mouth as far as it would reach, plundering and demanding. She trapped him against the top of her mouth and sucked fiercely, almost painfully, until neither of them could breathe and they broke apart, gasping.

      The sight of her, panting and hungry before him was too much, and he walked her back against the wall of the ship and seized the neck of her tunic, ripping it away easily and immediately applying his mouth to her deliciously soft skin.

      “There was another message from Soran - ahh!" She didn't usually hiss in response to pain, and he realized his bite had drawn blood along her shoulder. Somewhat apologetically, he licked over it with his tongue, murmuring an ‘mmm-hmm’ for her to continue.

      “He followed Dralnu to Tatooine and found out he was supposed to meet Hux there - _for fuck’s sake, Ben_ -”

      He discarded the shreds of her undershirt and the bindings over her chest, taking her breasts in his hands and squeezing hard enough to make her moan and arch against the wall.

      “Hux stole his ship, so Soran has him trapped alone on Tatooine,” she panted.

      Rey closed her eyes, grasping his hair in tight fists as he brought his mouth down to suck and scrape his teeth over her nipple.

      “But he sent us the registration on the stolen ship and it's the same one that was attached to the cargo cruiser-”

      She cursed and grimaced as he slipped his thumbs inside the waistband of her pants and underwear and stripped them off as well, leaving her completely naked as he knelt in front of her and nipped across her hips and the inside of her thighs. He knew he was being rough, but he knew Rey was protesting more at his destruction of her clothing than anything else, and he confirmed it when he ran his fingers between her legs and felt her fluid coat his skin.

     “You protest a lot when you're so ready for me,” he said finally.

    She glared down as he looked up to gauge her response.

    “Did you hear anything I just said?”

    “Yes. The active tracking was able to pick up the ship, I assume? So you and I are going after Hux?”

     Rey leaned her head back, moaning softly at the feel of his breath on her, and he pushed her legs further apart to thrust two fingers inside while his tongue lapped greedily at her.

     “Mmm… yes… how did you know?”

     Her voice was soft with arousal, and he realized his dark mood had all but lifted.

     “Because I know you. You're so much like me.”

     He rose up and stripped off his outer tunic and everything else below his waist, then took her face in his hand and kissed her with tender passion, stroking her with his lips and tongue and allowing her equally-passionate response. Rey gave a startled, lustful moan when he spun her around, and she caught herself on her hands, her back arching as his fingers found her entrance again and he pushed himself inside her.

    “I should have just killed him,” she whispered, an edge of need in her voice.

    She made a higher-pitched whimper as he thrust into her fully, sliding one large hand around to splay over her abdomen and guide the downward roll of her hips to meet his thrusts. He set a steady rhythm at first, in contrast with the ferocity he had started with, and Rey shifted against him, trying to encourage more friction.

    “Yes. We made a mistake. Now we have to go fix it,” he panted into her ear, inhaling the warm rock and musky-flower scent of her hair.

    “We?” She moaned out.

    “Yes, we. I could have stepped in and killed him. I could have killed him a dozen times before then. I knew what he was, and I did nothing to stop him.” He growled, suddenly increasing the pace and finding his eyes fluttering closed at the beautiful, relieved sounds she was making.

     “Okay, alright. That's… settled then.”

     He slowed back down just slightly, placing tender kisses along her shoulders, lifting her hair to kiss and lick the nape of her neck.

    ”Gods, _Ben!_ I love you, but please just fuck me. Really, please.”

     He laughed, pressing his lips up to her ear.

     “Feeling like you need to be _punished,_  Lady Solo?” He halted, teasing her, sliding his cock almost out before slowly pressing back in, relishing her growl of frustration.

     “Yes. Fuck you, but yes. Do I sound like a kriffing lady, begging you to fuck me harder, like I'm your own personal slut, Master Solo?”

     He closed his eyes and breathed into her shoulder, groaning, and then he pulled her away from the wall and firmly pushed her onto her hands and knees on the floor.

    “Say it again!” He commanded as he went to his knees behind her.

    “Fuck. Me. Please. _Master_.”

    She looked back at him, eyes glinting wildly, her loose hair falling in her face, and he nearly came apart before he could even get his cock inside her. Her feral cries of pleasure filled the small ship, as he let go and pounded her with abandon, hearing his own voice go low and hoarse as he felt her muscles tighten and her thighs quiver with her release.

     She sobbed as it overtook her, her whole body shaking, but he wasn't nearly done. He could feel her pleasure pulsing through the bond, but he could also feel that she wasn't quite spent, and he knew he could draw her out more.

     He slowed, letting Rey regain her breath, savoring the aftershocks that drew her muscles to clench around him.

      _Ben?_

_Not done yet, love._

_Oh…_

He pulled her back into his lap, clutching her tightly against his chest with one hand dipping down to coat a finger in her slick and stimulate her swollen pearl. She whimpered, tired but writhing against him, and he was right, he could feel her already building to a second release.

       _Ben… please… I need more…_

_More what?_

_I… just… anything…_

Smiling, he gathered the Force, pulling it through her as she gasped at the sensation, and directing the same pressured movements of his fingers against her nipples.

     “Oh, oh, gods!”

      Her voice sounded wrecked, and she threw her head back against him, her body going still and then utterly boneless as she let her climax flow through her. It took them both, the sound of her cries and the feel of her utterly consuming release drawing out his in the next few thrusts.

      Their center was still blindingly bright. Gray, but bright, like a snowy sky, but so warm and soothing and peaceful. She was everything he needed, and he was hers, and they always would be.

 

    


	35. Awkward Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux gets away... As he's want to do. Meanwhile Dralnu gets some GoT-style justice. 
> 
> I've got to get these girls some alone time. Too bad Kirin is so unstable. I guess she needs someone to... balance her out... someone bonded to her through the Force, maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some very PG-13 violence and torture.

          "Get out of the way, woman!”

          Lt. Mitaka had seen that hand gesture a dozen times. He knew exactly what the pale-skinned Twi’lek was about to do. _Of course_ he had to be a Force-use. Of-fucking-course. Luckily he was able to shove the Rebel woman out of the way in time and his blaster fire was enough to distract the man.

          He ducked into the space behind the scrapped ships after her, and the ex-Stormtrooper followed quickly behind him. Mitaka immediately took up a forward position, his back to the ship’s steel hull, while Finn faced him on the other side. Lt. Connix watched them both with wide eyes.

          “Who is that?” She asked breathlessly.

          The First Order officer and the former trooper exchanged a meaningful glance. Despite the brevity of their situation, he was grateful to find Finn Tico easily slipping into trained combat reactions. If they all kept their heads, they might manage to escape this horrible botched mission with their lives.

          “Have you seen him before?” He asked Finn. The dark-skinned man shook his head, grimacing at something Lt. Mitaka couldn’t see.

          “No. But he has a lightsaber,” he said grimly.

          “He has _what?_ ” Connix choked. Both men glanced over at her with dark expressions. She backed further into the ship and seemed to rally, drawing her own blaster. “Okay, what do we do?”

         Mitaka turned his attention instinctively to Finn. Despite his origins, he was technically the superior officer, and he wanted to see if the man was really the hero the other Stormtroopers made him out to be. Captain Tico glanced behind them to the hangar exit, then at the approaching slave trader, and his eyes narrowed in thought.

          “Okay, Connix, you and the Lieutenant here are going to make a break for the exit.” He nodded at Mitaka. “One of you has to make it out of here, so I’m depending on you to make the right choices.”

          What those choices were went unspoken, but Mitaka understood well enough. Kaydel was smaller and faster, but had no experience facing a Force-user, while he and Finn had lived with the looming spectre of Kylo Ren for years. There were tactics to facing down an opponent with a lightsaber, customarily taught by the First Order’s basic training camps. He doubted the Rebels taught anything like those tactics, given that they seemed to expect the Force would always be on their side.

          Mitaka had been surprised at the woman’s strength so far today, but she was clearly terrified, though she resolutely grasped her blaster with a grim expression. He gave Captain Tico a nod. If the time came, he would let her run. Someone had to get back to warn Command that Hux had fled in the slaver’s ship. Hopefully, the _Absolution_ still maintained its active tracking data. It was a given that Kylo Ren would go after the man if he could.

          The Resistance and the First Order were testing each other on multiple levels. Lt. Mitaka would make a full report to the commandant as soon as he returned to the _Depredation_ , and Connix and Tico would give their assessments to General Dameron as well. Dameron and Sloane would speak to the Knights’ command personally, and together they would combine information and strategies, all of them waiting to see if this truce could hold out.

          On a personal level, Mitaka was following the orders of a Resistance officer with superior rank, waiting to see if he could truly master the situation, and Finn was testing the lieutenant's moral and personal conviction. A test he couldn’t fault the man for, given his experience within the Order and the abominable performance of General Hux.

          “And what will you be doing?” Mitaka knew the answer, but he wanted to see if the man was given to drama or foolish heroism.

          “Keeping his attention,” Finn replied firmly. He jerked his head. “Let’s go, now!”

           He rushed forward, firing his blaster with purposeful shots, while Mitaka followed suit behind him, allowing Connix the freedom to make a break for the exit. He backed up slowly, watching the scene unfold before him until it was clear the slaver’s attention was fully occupied. For all that he had failed as a Stormtrooper, Finn Tico was not a bad fighter, and the Force-user was not nearly as powerful or well-trained as Kylo Ren. It was a surprisingly close fight.

 

  
          Finn rolled to dodge the bolts reflected back at him, watching the slaver’s grip on his paired sabers carefully. He didn’t seem to have the same grace as Kylo or Rey, but his movements were brutal and effective.

          He rolled behind a small loading platform, and watched through the spaces wooden planks as the man opened his palm and gestured. There was a tight look of concentration on his face and his grip on his weapons slackened.

          “This doesn’t need to happen,” Finn shouted as he managed to break away from the collapsing platform. “We’re after Hux, not you.”

          “Really?” The man drawled in his slimy accent. “If you are looking for Armitage Hux here, I can only assume you are aware of the nature of my business dealings with him.”

          Finn fired again from the side, and the man hissed as a bolt cut too near his head tail, searing the flesh.

          “You will pay for that, Resistance scum,” he sneered. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten your little friends, either. I will kill you and have plenty of time to spare to prevent them from fleeing. Or did you really think the Hutts would be on your side?”

          He had no idea what the comment about the Hutts was, but Finn was pretty sure if they had to pick a side, it would be whoever was winning. As it stood, he didn’t see how anyone could declare a clear winner, and he was pretty sure the gangsters would ignore this little dispute until it became more clear, or they caused enough property damage to be a nuisance.

          This platform was made of metal and bolted to the wall, and Finn had no trouble scaling it while the large gunship beside it covered his assent. Now he had the high ground, but he wasn’t sure it was a great idea to give away his location just yet.

          “Come out, little rat,” the Twi’lek drawled. “Or are you tired of playing?”

          From his position on the high scaffold, Finn could see Kaydel and Mitaka reach the exit just as the slaver turned. He raised his hand and clenched his fist, dragging Connix to the ground, but he had put his back to Finn, giving him a clear shot. It was too bad they needed this man for questioning, or he would have taken the head shot easily. Instead, he fired a bolt through the man’s raised hand and he growled in pain, releasing his hold on the Rebel officer and one of his lightsabers.

          Finn watched Mitaka help Connix to her feet before they both fled outside across the blazing sand, and raised his blaster to fire again as the slaver turned.

          His eyes had followed his companions just slightly too long, and it was the last image he remembered as a grating, tearing sound surrounded him and the scaffolding, with Finn aboard, was flung hard into the wall.

 

  
          Soran noted the man and woman running from the hanger and allowed himself a small smile of anticipation. Clearly they were fleeing _something_ , and given that both had blasters in their grasp and appeared to be military officers, it had to be something truly threatening.

          He reached the wide mouth of the open doors and paused, allowing his Force senses to take over while his eyes adjusted to the darkness. A sound of screeching metal followed a surge in energy right before him, and his eyes landed on the dark glow of Dralnu’s lightsaber.

          Soran allowed a slightly predatory smile upon noting his quarry had already been partially disarmed. His mentor had always relied too heavily on the cross-bladed guard of his twin weapons, and he knew this battle was already in his favor.

          He ignited his saber, standing still while Dralnu turned, watching the Twi’lek’s red eyes fill with rage and his lips twist in a toothy grimace.

          “Well, well, well. I wondered if this day would come.”

          “It is the way of the Sith,” Soran replied calmly. “As you yourself taught me.”

          “Ah, but I thought you had joined Ben Solo in his redemption, my student. Turned your back on the dark and embraced the light.” He adjusted his grip on his remaining saber, and Soran could see his right hand held limply, dripping blood from a blaster wound through the palm.

          “Your information is lacking details, as always,” he spoke calmly as they began to circle each other. “I will never renounce the dark completely. It’s not in my nature. Even my mother knew that.”

           “Ah, yes, your dear mother. How is she, might I ask?”

           “You can run your mouth as much as you want,” he refused to fall to the man’s taunts. “I’m already here to kill you. Nothing you say is going to change what I have to do.”

           Dralnu raised his hand, and an unconscious man Soran had never seen before, a human with dusky skin, wearing a patched Rebel flight jacket, rose up from the rubble of a fallen platform. He watched, unmoved.

           “Ah, I can see from your face that you do not recognize this man. Allow me to introduce you.” He gave another toothy grin. “Soran Baasen, meet Finn Tico.”

          He did recognize the name, and he tried very carefully to organize his thoughts. He didn't really care, personally, if the man survived or not, and normally he would be perfectly willing to sacrifice a stranger if it meant taking the slaver down. But the ex-Stormtrooper was an important ally of his masters, as well as a leader in the Resistance.

          Ice blue eyes moved from the floating Rebel soldier to Dralnu, and Soran gave a little shrug, spinning his saber arrogantly.

          “Kill him or don't, the end result will be the same for you,” he said finally. It was a cheap, desperate shot, and Dralnu knew it. His eyes took on the narrowed focus of a cornered animal.

          “Perhaps I will just hurt him,” he threatened.

          Soran shrugged, watching impassively as Dralnu wasted his power to concentrate on sending waves of energy through Tico’s body, jolting the man into screaming wakefulness. He sighed. He really didn't want to have to do this.

_Help me, ghost._

          He opened his mind and waited, while pretending to watch the Rebel being tortured impassively. There was a touch, a breath of presence, and he reached quickly to catch it before it could overtake him.

_The Rebel soldier. Can you do something?_

_I can try._

_Please do, then._

          He grit his teeth against the uncomfortable sensation of the Force being pulled through him without his control, and focused on closing with Dralnu.

          “You're wasting your effort,” Soran taunted back, coldly, the way he'd been taught on Dathomir. “I have no interest in him.”

          “No? The Resistance may offer a reward, you know.” The Twi'lek was trying to remain emotionless, but Soran could see the sweat beading on his forehead.

           Something hit his foot and he glanced down, smiling. He stooped quickly, never taking his eyes off of his opponent. Dralnu’s shocked gaze shot to him at the sound of the discarded lightsaber activating, and his concentration on the Resistance officer faltered. A surge of energy coursed through him, and Soran felt the man lower gently into a covered position behind the debris he was floating over.

          “Be reasonable, boy,” his former master pleaded. Soran could not stop the dark grin that came over his face, and his irises flashed with a corona of gold, making the slaver gasp.

_Soran!_

_Cover the Rebel._

          He advanced with both blades, one high and one low in a copy of the position he had learned from Ben Solo. Dralnu's back hit the wall.

          “I trained you! I sheltered and fed you, took you onto my crew. I could've sold you, child.”

          He made a last ditch effort to roll out of Soran's reach, but it was far too late. He caught the man with his foot as he tried to get up, and slashed the saber out of his good hand. Twin red blades framed Dralnu’s pale face, and Soran's mind sang with unfettered bloodlust. His grin was feral and dark.

          “You sold my mother. I stayed on your crew only because I knew this day would come,” he said with an almost gentle tone. “Any goodwill you might have gained in your benevolence towards me is worthless next to that single sin. And you will suffer for it.”

          “Kill me then. You are right, it is the way of the Sith.” The slaver closed his eyes, and Soran’s blades moved.

           Dralnu screamed, his body writhing and flailing, but Soran held him down with one booted foot to his chest.

          “I’m not a Sith,” he said quietly. He watched his former master's display of agony for a moment with a grim smile. “And a quick death is too good for you.”

          He felt a stirring behind him, and summoned Dralnu’s second saber to his hands before turning slightly.

          “Are you alright, Finn Tico?”

          “Yeah, yeah…” his voice trailed off as he looked down, brushing away debris and examining a few cuts on his arm. “I think I’m good, but, uh… If you don’t mind telling me… Who the hell are you?”

  
  


          “Give me one reason not to rip your fucking processor out of your head and smash it to shiny metal powder,” Pashi shouted in the droid’s face.

          One hand held MDC-13 in a firm grip akin to a Force choke, its feet dangling uselessly in the air, while her other hand held her unlit lightsaber to its chest. The droid made a hissing sound through its vocalizer that was its personal attempt at laughter, even though most people found it more akin to the sounds of a venomous underground insectoid.

          “Little Pashi. If I had a palladium coin for every time a member of your family has threatened me with decommissioning, I would be wealthier than your godmother.” It reached down and grabbed hold of the lightsaber, directing it lower and to the right. “Besides which, the central power supply you are aiming for is down here.”

           Pashi’s eyes narrowed and she jabbed at the new spot angrily.

          “You moved it? I just rewired your power circuits before I left, what happened?” Distracted, she tapped the spot on the side of the droid’s blocky chest chassis to trigger the hatch to open, then poked around inside. “Who put this alternating current mod in here? You always say direct current is more efficient for-”

          “Ahem,” the droid looked around at the busy hangar of the cruiser, now zipping through hyperspace. Mela Sana and Poe Dameron stood in the interior doorway, while BB-8 was ducking behind Poe with a whistle of apology. MDC-13 used a free arm to slam the access hatch closed. “Perhaps you can examine my internals later, in a more private setting, Mistress Pashi?”

          She looked up, realizing the droid felt some kind of discomfort at being poked and prodded at in full view of the public, and shrugged.

           “Fine. But we are not done talking about what you did to-”

           “Pashi? I feel like I’m on spice…” Kirin’s faint voice drifted down the _Aeonhawk’s_ ramp. Pashi ran to steady her, slipping an arm around her waist carefully.

          “It’s alright, my love. Medici gave you a sedative, it’ll wear off soon.” She cast the droid a dark look. “Get back on the ship, droid, I don’t need to your bad influence infecting the rest of the cruiser.”

           It trudged back up the ramp with slow, irritable steps, and Kirin gave it a hesitant smile as it passed them.

          “I was losing control… Thank you, Medici.”

          “You are a most gracious woman, Miss Kirin.” He bowed his head solemnly to her. “I apologize that I did not have time to ask for your consent before treating you.”

          “If it happens again, please know that you have my consent, especially if I become a danger to others,” Kirin said earnestly. Pashi’s hand squeezed her waist almost painfully.

          “No, don’t tell him that! Medici, you will not drug Kirin without my consent, ever!” The droid continued up the ramp, ignoring Pashi’s frantic yelling. “Hey! Acknowledge me! I’m your master, you worthless scrap heap!”

          “Actually, your father is my master. Should he die, I suppose that would leave me in your possession, but as far as I am aware, Master Kayt is still in excellent health-”

          Pashi sighed and waved her lightsaber threateningly.

          “One more word. One more word, and I’ll hand you over to Jade and Keela, I swear it.”

          It continued on into the ship with a lot of low-pitched hisses and warbles that were not, technically, words, even in binary. With a sigh, Pashi turned her attention to helping her lover down the ramp, her attention on General Dameron and the wide-eyed child lurking just slightly behind him.

          “Hey, Mela. This is Kirin, the one who saved everyone from the slavers. Can you do me a favor and help her to the medbay?”

          The Togruta nodded solemnly, her violet eyes wide. Kirin offered her a tired smile.

           “Hello, Mela,” Kirin greeted her.

           Pashi carefully guided Kirin to use the wall for support, while the little girl solemnly took her hand. The Twi’lek was short and slight, with the top of the girls horns already reaching above her waist.

           “I know where the medical facility is, it's not too far from here,” Mela assured her. Kirin nodded absently. “Are you going to be okay, Lady Kirin?”

           “I just need to lie down for a bit,” she assured her as the girl led her away. “I’ve been drugged before. I’ll be fine.”

           Pashi felt Poe Dameron’s eyes on her as she watched them disappear down the hallway. He gave a barely perceptible nod of his head, and his faithful little orange-and-white droid rolled after them at a respectful pace.

           “Okay, kid, you wanna tell me what happened out there?”

           “Not much to explain.” She turned towards the interior of the cruiser. “I shouldn’t have taken Kirin into battle like that. She’s so strong otherwise, and I guess I just… wanted her with me. We hit some of the backup TIEs from the _Absolution_ and Kirin lost control a little. Medici knocked her out.”

           “Are you kidding me? She lost control _how_?” He reached out and grabbed Pashi’s arm to stop her and she stiffened. Immediately, he let go, murmuring an apology. “That droid is crazy, by the way.”

           “I concur with the General,” came a cool voice behind them. Pashi stopped, turning. She had forgotten Teekala in the haze of her anger at MDC-13 and instinctive fussing over her girlfriend. “The droid is certainly insane. I also concur with your assessment of Kirin. While her power is phenomenal, having seen it in use, I must admit I find it somewhat disturbing.”

           Pashi chewed her lip while Poe gave the woman an appreciative stare. She stared back, her golden eyes flat and expressionless.

           “Do you have something to say to me, General Dameron?”

           “No, ahh…” He ran his hands through his hair, glancing back to Pashi, who shrugged and kept walking. “Nope. Nothing to say.”

           “Good.” She pointed with a slender finger in the direction Mela had taken Kirin. “The medical facilities are this way?”

           “Yeah,” he said, just as Pashi turned to call from ahead of them.

           “Let’s go, Dameron, I need to know what the plan is now that we botched that whole thing.” She crossed her arms over her chest impatiently, briefly meeting Teekala’s gaze before the Dathomiri woman turned.

          Pashi frowned slightly. There was a change to her Force energy, like something separate had broken off from the center, a second source of energy growing steadily stronger -

           Teekala glanced back and shook her head, slightly. Pashi nodded and turned to walk beside Poe as he caught up. There was no arguing with the Force witch. If she didn't want to be in labor right now, that baby was just going to have to wait. Hopefully she wasn't planning on going down to Arkanis with them as well.

           “You know, for most of my life, the only Force-user I even knew about was Luke Skywalker - and Kylo Ren, obviously.” There was more than a touch of wonder in Poe's voice. “Now you guys are everywhere. I wish you’d been around _before_ the First Order started.”

           “What makes you think we weren’t?” Pashi queried him as they walked. Caught off guard, he shrugged.

           “Well, I mean… Your powers would have been a big help to the whole… Resistance and New Republic defenses.” He made a sort of expansive hand gesture, encompassing all the feats he had seen wielded by the Force just recently.

          “You do know the first act of Emperor Palpatine was to murder all the Jedi, right? And Vader and Palpatine made sure to mop up anyone who was left, until just being in the same village as a potential Force adept became dangerous?”

           “Well, yeah, but, I mean, there was Obi-wan-”

           “Living in hiding on Tatooine. Avoiding the use of his powers for nineteen years so he could watch over Luke Skywalker,” she pointed out.

           “Okay, what about the Rebels on Lothal?”

           “Both the Jedi died before the Skywalker twins were even of age. Using their powers. For the Rebellion.” Pashi’s voice was mild, but it held a trace of venom that she had trouble finding the source of.

           She liked Dameron, and she had asked her father these same questions as a kid. Now they were making her tense, and she found her hand straying to rest over her lightsaber, like she was afraid he was going to attack her or something.

           “But there had to be others. Isn’t your father Force-sensitive?”

           “Don’t go there, Rebel Man,” she cautioned. “He has his own reasons for avoiding attention, it’s not my story to tell. If you want to know what happened to Force users between the fall of the Jedi Council and the rise of the First Order, ask him. Or maybe ask Kylo-Ben, I don’t know.”

           They were at the command center now, and Pashi broke away to join her Aunt Jade at a communication console, grateful to distract herself from Poe’s questioning. The truth was, she still didn’t know how to answer some of those questions, but she had a better understanding now of why they were so difficult to answer.

          “So they’re going after Hux,” she said, watching the holo of Master Rey explaining herself to Jade and Poe.

           “Yes. I would rather have both Master Solos here with us, but I also agree that this man must be dealt with,” Jade Penthe admitted, eying her with a guarded expression.

           Pashi frowned, turning off the holo and reviewing their assets. Kali’s recon droid had managed to transmit partial schematics on the facilities before being destroyed, a dangerous sign in itself.The _Aeonhawk_ ’s ion cannon was the best shot they had of getting past Arkanis’ planetary defenses, but she couldn’t pilot it on her own. And without Rey and Ben, the only Force users were Pashi, Kirin and Teekala. Genji, too, although she didn’t like the idea. Her Wookie cousin was technically the same age, but in the lifespan of a Wookie, he was closer developmentally to Mela. Hrm. Maybe if they put him with Teekala…

           “Hey, Dameron. Can you pilot the _Aeonhawk_ with Medici?”

           “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last week and a half, kid?” He met her eyes across the room and she grinned.

          “So you know about charging the ion cannon?” She persisted. “Ever fire it?”

          “Can’t say I had the opportunity, but you better believe I had it queued up,” he returned her grin with his own, brows raised slightly. “Why? Are you offering to let me fly your ship?”

           “Not one scratch, Rebel Man. Not one,” she threatened. “And you owe me a spin in that X-Wing whenever we’re back together.”

            “Obviously, kid. I owe you more than just a spin. As far as I’m concerned, you can _have_ my X-Wing.”

           “Hey, hey. I know you are the leader of the Resistance, Poe Dameron, but I will not tolerate you flirting with my girlfriend!”

           Pashi turned, recognizing the voice immediately, leaping over consoles and chairs and practically trampling Aunt Kali in her haste to get to Kirin, only to hug her in the gentlest possible manner, like she might snap under the slightest pressure.

           “I assure you, my love, I am perfectly fine. It’s not as if I’ve never tasted spice before,” she laughed, and Pashi pulled her in tighter, tucking the shorter woman’s head under her chin. "The kind man in the infirmary gave me a quick injection and sent me on my way."

           "I'm so sorry about that stupid droid... I shouldn't have let you go into battle..." She kissed the soft rosy skin at the top of her head.

            “I believe I volunteered,” Kirin murmured. "You do realize everyone can see us?"

           “Don’t care.”

           She didn’t. She didn’t even care that they could see her kissing everywhere she could reach, or gently stroking down the length of one head tail.

           "I should have known, I know how you are about feeling people hurt, and I just wanted you with me, and-” she was silenced by soft lips and Kirin’s arms snaking around her neck.

          She closed her eyes and leaned down into it, making a small noise of protest when she felt her lover’s hands slide beneath her tails and dance over the back of her neck.

           There was a coughing noise behind them, and Pashi flushed, pulling back. Kirin had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. Of course Jade would know how intimate that kind of touch was. The rest of the crew was human or Rodian and just seemed mildly amused at the public display of affection between overeager teenagers. Pashi avoided her Aunt’s knowing golden eyes and settled her gaze somewhere towards Poe Dameron’s shoulder.

           “I forgot about your Aunt,” Kirin whispered, smiling, before she let go. Pashi looped an arm around her waist, refusing to let her separate them completely.

           “Ahhh… Aunt Jade, Aunt Kali… This is Kirin,” she introduced awkwardly. Jade snickered while Kali looked mildly confused, but strode over to shake the pink-skinned Twi’lek’s small hand.

           “Please be welcome on the _Consortium,”_ she said amiably. “Little Pashi is very dear to us, so please don’t break her heart and we will be good friends.”

           “No,” said Kirin firmly. “I have no intention of it.”

           “Nice to meet you,” Jade said with a chuckle, finally coming over to offer her hand as well. Kirin blushed faintly and she raised her eyebrows and made a sort of teasing gesture with her head tails. “Glad Pashi has finally found someone to tame her. Now, if we could all get back to the issue at hand…”


	36. On Second Thought... Let's Not.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a scale of C-3PO to HK-47, how creepy is this droid? Why does it sound like he just keeps lightsabers on hand like spare parts? 
> 
> Meanwhile, Hux seems to be planning a lovely little vacation. Maybe we'll just... let him enjoy it... alone...
> 
> Anyone want to make a prediction for how *that* turns out? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Creepy Sith stuff, not graphic, but if you've ever watched or read anything with Moraband/Korriban, it's disturbing as shiiiiiit....
> 
> Spoiler: I am a huge KOTOR fan, so that’s where some of this stuff comes from. 
> 
> Not Medici though. That's all my SO, from our SW: Edge of the Empire game. Also credit for Kayt Baasen goes to my bestie from the same game, and my second bestie for poor, dead Vasto Penthe.
> 
> Imagine, if you will - Medici, a very young Kayt Baasen, Khawapashi and an acerbic middle-aged Twi'lek just flying around in the Aeonhawk trying to be smugglers circa Episode 4. 
> 
> It's like Solo the movie, only the droid is more evil and Han and Lando are one person. There's a reason my ST character is a Wookie.
> 
> Editing note: I’m sorry for the weird formatting lately, editing on a tablet is time consuming, so I’m just going to leave it all left-aligned with no indent from here out.

"We still have no idea what those Star Destroyers were doing just assembling at such a random location. I mean, obviously they knew something was there, but… What?” Pashi looked around at her aunts and the assembled crew, at General Dameron and finally to Kirin. “What were they there for? The slaves, or did they track one of our smaller ships?”

“Only the _Absolution_ and the _Finalizer_ have active tracking,” Poe put in. Then he frowned. “But, those ships were brand new. So if they're not part of the First Order fleet, who is commanding them?” 

“Armitage Hux?” Kali suggested. Poe shook his head. 

“Nah, if he had additional forces like that he'd have fled to wherever they were when he first mutinied, instead of chasing Imperial relics on Jakku. And he’d _definitely_ be headed there now.” 

“We might find answers once we take Arkanis,” Aunt Jade pointed out. And more softly: “ _If_ we take Arkanis.”

 “There is no _‘if’,_ Captain,” Kirin said adamantly. “We will conquer the Red Hand, destroy their defenders, and burn the entire place to ash.”

 “Right.” Pashi still couldn’t meet her aunt’s eyes, but she could meet Poe’s, and she saw the faintly concerned look he was giving Kirin. “Space magic, Dameron.”

 He gave her an unconvinced look, but had no choice but to let it go. Pashi could sense Aunt Jade stealing measured glances at Kirin, too. She did understand, in a way, it sounded like overzealous fervor. But she had a feeling once they saw the place and really grasped what was going on there… Any sane person would want to burn it to ash and salt the ground.

 or now, she tried to remain calm and focus on practical strategies, but she edged closer to her girlfriend to show support. 

“Anyway, I was thinking General Dameron here could fly the _Aeonhawk_ and take out the planetary blockade with the ion cannons. We’ll need back up from the _Consortium_ and hopefully the _Absolution_ to cover him while he does it. Then we’ve got to get a team on the ground somehow-”

 “Do we have any information on their ground facilities?” Jade asked. Kali shook her head, tapping some instructions into the central display to bring up the scarce map her droid had transmitted.

 “Not much of use. You can see this is the perimeter of the fence line-” she pointed with one scaly hand. “And the facility is built into the side of the mountain, so there is no going through the back way.”

 “There’s always a back way,” Poe said, tilting his head to study the holographic images. “How deep is this mountain? Is there a whole range, or just some hills?”

 “Ahh… It looks like it’s the tallest in the range, so… it’s an older formation, obviously-” Kali typed in a few more directions, focusing on the mountain range. “It’s long, but not very wide. There’s the ocean blocking the northern side, and these two formations at the outskirts of the fencing are most likely artificial-”

 “Does this mountain range have any kind of internal cave system? Old mining tunnels or anything? Cold storage?”

 “They do have cold storage,” Kirin said, striding up to look at the diagram carefully. “And this open plain out here is not the landing area. The place they took us through was icy and cold and up high.”

 “So it had to be on the mountain somewhere,” Poe intuited.

 “Yes. And I know they took us underground. There was an avian of some kind with us,” she shrugged helplessly. “We were blindfolded, but she knew when were underground, something about the change in the echo.”

 “Hmm. We don’t have the right ships, but we have access codes,” Poe paced as he thought. “How do they bring in supplies? A place like that would need a lot of power cells and fuel. Not to mention food, medical supplies… Arkanis has hostile weather ninety percent of the time, there’s nothing natural growing there.”

 Kirin’s eyes narrowed and her right head tail twitched nervously as she thought. Pashi glanced down at the movement and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

 “Dralnu has certain distributors he trusts, I think. Probably other criminals, like smugglers or-”

 “Or the Black Sun?” Jade Penthe offered. She looked towards Pashi, the moment of embarrassment forgotten as they shared a thought.

 “Yes,” said Kirin. “Very possibly.” 

Pashi frowned a moment, then sighed and switched on a communication panel to signal the _Aeonhawk_.

 “Medici, how would you like to make up for your earlier malfunction?”

 “I assure you, I have run diagnostics since the incident, and I am not malfunctioning in any way, although if you would be so kind as to remove the alternating current modification-”

 “Yeah, sure. I’ll help you out,” Pashi cut him off, smirking.

 “Oh, joyous delight.” The droid replied acerbically. “What terribly onerous favor must I complete to ensure you will assist me? Does someone need a lightsaber? Have you accidentally murdered someone? Or partially murdered someone you need alive?”

 “Uh, no, of course not!” She looked around at all the eyes on her and sighed. “Listen you malicious spark plug, we need someone to go to Arkanis on Black Sun business and drop off a package. Can you make that happen?”

 “Am I allowed to inquire as to the contents of said package?”

 “Obviously best if you didn’t know,” she insisted.

 “Fine. I assume you have a ship somewhere for us to travel in? I’m afraid this one is rather notorious in the criminal underworld.” He sounded rather proud of that fact. Pashi rolled her eyes and glanced at her aunts.

 “They could take the _Sloth_ ,” Kali ventured. Aunt Jade smirked. “It’s a short trip,” the Rodian added.

 “Yeah,” Pashi responded, frowning at both women. “I think we’ve got… something.”

 

Ben was frowning over the tracking display, his eyes sparking in irritation as he widened the map to look at the surrounding planets. Rey chewed a thumbnail, hands wrapped around the warmth of her tea mug.

 “We need to find out where those Star Destroyers came from. Do you think Hux had anything to do with them, or…” She tapped her fingers against the ceramic, watching Ben's expression turn thoughtful.

 “No,” he said finally. “If Hux had forces in reserve, he would have fled there immediately. Active tracking has him going in the opposite direction.”

 “Where the hell is he going?” She asked finally. “It looks like… Moraband? It’s a tomb world, isn’t it?”

 Ben froze, turning so slowly, with such a look of fear in his expressive eyes, she jumped out of her seat. She could feel it through the Force Bond, not just fear, but horror, a sinking, bone-deep mix of disgust and dread and shock. He dropped to his knees and Rey could do nothing but wrap her arms around him, stroking her fingers soothingly through his hair as he clung to her waist. 

“Talk to me, Ben, please!” She pleaded. “You're scaring me, come back, please!”

 She cupped his face with her hands, tugging him to look at her at her, but when he finally did, their gazes locked and she was struck dumb by a flood of images. Now, it was Rey who clutched him, needing his strong arms to keep her standing while she desperately tried to process the onslaught.

 A desolate world, sand and rock and scathing red-tinged winds. The origin of the Sith species, and the children of fallen Jedi who would later call themselves Sith. Aeons of darkness and malevolent armies, massacre following massacre, betrayal after betrayal. Always, the thirst for power that an entire galaxy couldn’t quench. Tombs, both great and small, Sith Lords and their apprentices, buried in the planet’s red sands until the whole world itself pulsed with a dark, voracious thirst.

 Soldiers brought by warring Sith Lords and their opponents succumbed to the permeating madness that lurked everywhere in the shadows of sinister tombs and ancient ruins, and even acolytes of the dark side who came there to train were overwhelmed by madness.

**_“Unfathomable horrors, ancient and staggering in number… You know nothing of Korriban.”_ **

**_“The dark side lives and breathes in the very core of this world...”_ **

**_"...the way of the Sith is murder and betrayal, on and on, the apprentice murders and becomes the master, until the master is betrayed in turn..."_ **

**_“Even you do not have the fortitude to withstand the spirits there.”_ **

**_“The call of Korriban is greater than the dark side - it is the call of the dead, spirits of the greatest Sith Lords, eternal and undying.”_ **

**_“...It shall always be a source of evil, spawning threats throughout the millennia...”_ **

**_“...We’re slaves to our hatred… That’s what the dark side made me…”_ **

**_“...through victory my chains will be broken… The Force will set me free…”_ **

 Rey’s hands found Ben’s and gripped tightly as the voices and visions of past violence and staggering atrocities swirled around them.

 And then, suddenly, everything was still. She could see only the bright gray emptiness of their shared center, and they both had a moment to breathe. But the Force was not finished yet.

  _They stood, back to back on red sands, facing an advancing line of children, none over the age of ten, some less than five, in white robes armed with darkly-glowing weapons like Sabine Wren’s Darksaber. A soft sound of pain caught in Rey’s throat when she realized she could sense Pashi and Kirin in the distance, similarly overwhelmed by vacant-eyed, Force-wielding children._

_They made no sound, and all of them, regardless of species, had been cruelly rendered blind, although their weapons moved with brutal precision._

_If you choose this, you will loss the battle, and the war,_ a familiar voice invaded the vision. In her mind’s eye, Rey could see Ahsoka Tano as she had appeared on Coruscant, her athletic figure in simple clothing, a pair of lightsabers on her hip. _But be prepared, if you don’t face this threat now, more will suffer._

 _This is a battle that must be won. The sacrifice isn’t just from you,_ Luke Skywalker’s voice, emotional as ever. _But t_ _he choice will be yours. It won’t be obvious and it won't be easy to accept, for anyone._

 _There are so many forces at work you know nothing about. We've left you so little, and I’m sorry for that._ Anakin Skywalker was sorry? It was a few generations too late for that. _We’ve all made what we thought were the right decisions, but…_

 _This future has become more solid through every generation,_ Ahsoka explained. Despite her mysterious presence in Ben’s dreams, she was still the most direct of all the Force Spirits. _You have inherited a hundred years of selfishness. Now you’re the last defence we have. The way is there. You have the keys._

 _You have the support of a galaxy that is finally ready for peace,_ Obi-wan’s voice was sad and wistful. _And yo_ _u have each other._

 _The Force Bond was no accident. You both know that, now._ Luke Skywalker, always sounding as if he were rallying to fight a superior foe, focusing on the advantages and dismissing the weight of the task ahead. _Snoke may have enhanced it, but even he could not create such a thing. This is your destiny._

 _Trust each other,_ Anakin encouraged. _You’ve already chosen not to face this alone. These are the first steps..._

 _Together, the Force Bond and the Order of Ren are the best resource you have,_ Obi-wan agreed.  _This is your legacy._

_Rey… Ben… You can do this. I know you can. You’re stronger than you know._

The last voice was so unexpected, Rey felt tears fill her eyes even as Ben choked back a sob. A gentle pressure, the soft caress of a mother’s hand, brushed where their hands were joined, and then it was over. The voices, the visions were gone, and they were alone again. Together.

Stunned, they had collapsed against each other on the floor of Rey’s ship, Ben clutching her shoulders and sobbing while she stared with glassy eyes at the tracking device behind him, showing the path of Hux’s stolen ship to the Sith homeworld.

 

How long they sat like that, Rey couldn’t say. She wasn’t even sure when it had all begun, or how long the vision had lasted. But she was exhausted in her very bones, her shoulders ached from the weight of Ben’s arms, and she could feel through the Bond that one of his legs had fallen asleep. She whispered his name, shaking his arms gently to rouse him, and he slowly drew back and blinked as his eyes tried to focus on her. For a second, she was terrified that he had gone somewhere else, that Kylo Ren had overcome him completely and she would have yet another battle for his soul on her hands, but eventually the darkness around him cleared and he reached out to brush his thumb across the tracks of her tears.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

She nodded, and he quickly pulled her into his arms, settling them more comfortably. Rey closed her eyes as he kissed the top of her head, and searched blindly until she found his hand to lace their fingers together.

“I feel like I could sleep for a day,” she said quietly.

“Do you want me to take you to bed?”

 She felt him gathering himself to get up, and stilled him with a squeeze of his hand.

 “No. I’m afraid to sleep right now. I don’t want to dream about-”

 “I know. I’m scared, too.” He rubbed her arm with his free hand, pressing his face into her hair and gently nudging her head to the side so he could kiss her neck and press his face into her shoulder. “We’re okay. I can face anything with you beside me.”

“I know,” she took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m not worried about us. I’m worried about the others. What did he mean by the sacrifice isn’t just from us? And why wouldn’t it be easy to accept? What… what do we have to do, Ben?”

“I imagine… It starts with _not_ tracking Hux to Moraband,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Why does it seem like the Force is protecting that bastard?”

 “Maybe it is. Maybe he’s needed… Later,” Rey shrugged. She wasn’t worried about Hux anymore, he wasn’t Force-sensitive and he had no army or resources to speak of currently. “I’m sure he’s behind those kids, but… It’s too late to stop that now. Still... I can't imagine what that place will do to him.” 

“Normally, I would say he deserves everything that happens to him, but..." Ben scrubbed his face. "You've corrupted me too much. I actually feel pity for him..."

"Well, we'll get a good look, I’m sure. If _Moraband_ has a use for him..." Rey shuddered and cursed.

"If I weren’t in shock, I’d be fucking you over something right now,” he said frankly, startling a laugh from her.

“Maybe you should. You don’t suppose their spirits are still around, do you?” She glanced up at him, then cast her gaze around the ship. “Vague bastards. They deserve a show!”

“More than half of those people are my family,” he pointed out dryly. “Including-”

 “Okay, fine. Leia doesn’t deserve that. But Anakin and Luke can bring out the zorg nuts and see what they’re missing. Obi-wan, too.” He was laughing, so she went on. “Ahsoka swings her hips like she knows how to use them, though.”

 He snorted, and Rey remembered he had only seen the Togruta as an old woman, not the bright-eyed, skin-tight leather version she and Kirin had met on Coruscant.

“Anakin _was_ married,” he managed finally. Rey scoffed.

 “To a Queen and a Senator. I’ve seen pictures. There’s no way. _That_ woman was a lady, even if she was carrying on an illicit romance.” She paused thoughtfully. “I’ll bet she made him wait. See, she could have just had a mutually-beneficial frolic with a cute angsty Jedi, but she had to _marry_ him and force him to commit-”

“Mmm. You're one to talk.” He frowned down at her. “‘Mutually-beneficial frolic?`”

“I don't appreciate your tone, Ben Solo. You're the one who proposed marriage.” She chuckled. “We had a good thing going and now we're saddled with children and responsibilities.”

 “Well, I’m older and I knew what I wanted.” He tightened his arms around her possessively. “If you had reservations, maybe you should have made me wait. Given yourself some time.”

“For what? The Force Bond is stronger than any marriage ceremony. And I don't believe in waiting until after. Gotta make sure you're compatible, you can share space, make compromises, make sure everything is in good working order...” She grinned as he seemed to be caught speechless. Finally he shook his head in defeat. 

“‘Good working order?’” he mumbled into her hair. “Is this the wisdom of the scavengers of Jakku? Mutually-beneficial frolicking before marriage to ensure everything is going to work out?”

Rey smiled as he trailed light, tickling kisses down her neck and his hands moved to gently caress her shoulders. She shivered when his tongue traced her ear, eyes widening before she reached behind her to feel around his lap.

“Everything seems to be working perfectly so far,” she smirked.

“Are you sure? Maybe you should do a more thorough inspection. Some frolicking maybe?” He kissed down to her ear, and she sighed with lazy pleasure, rolling her head to the side to give him more access to her neck.

“What about traumatizing your family ghosts?” She teased as his soft kisses trailed down to her shoulder.

 Ben shrugged, pausing the progression of his tender affection.

“If they really want to watch, I can't stop them.” His eyes danced with amusement as she turned to look at him. “And if they don't want to, they can go do whatever the hell it is they do when they're not invading our heads with vague visions and stupid Jedi proverbs.”

“I’ll set us back on course for the _Absolution_ ,” she sighed, crawling to her feet. “If that’s what we really want to do.”

“What I _want_ to do is slice Armitage Hux into a pile of ashes, but I’ve been learning that _want_ and _need_ are not the same things.” He watched her from the ground, running a hand nervously through his hair. “Walking away from a fight is not easy for me, Rey.”

“I know.” She turned and held out her hand for him. He didn’t really need her help getting up, but the comfort of her hand in his helped to motivate him. “I know your mind as well as I know my own. I don’t want to let him get away either, but, if we go to Moraband and we lose… If Kirin and Pashi follow us somehow and we drag them down too…”

“I know. I saw it too. But I don’t know what suffering is going to come of us not going, and that makes me more nervous than anything.”

“Me, too.” She sighed, and he pulled her into his arms. “I suppose suffering is a natural part of existence. We can’t expect to have balance and not face the consequences.”

Rey turned her head into his chest, and was overwhelmed by a sudden rush of fresh tears. She shook her head against him, trying and failing to conquer her sobs.

“I don’t even know what I’m crying for,” she gasped as he tightened his hold and stroked her her hair soothingly.

“I know. It’s alright.”


	37. Two Many Captains in the Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some side character wrangling here, and a little bit of Kayt Baasen charm, dedicated to his lovely creator.
> 
> Wonder what Teekala will have to say to Pashi’s dad? 
> 
> Wait... Wasn't she headed to the medbay because that thing in her belly might be coming out soon?
> 
> (Yep, MDC-13 is totally gonna deliver the Force witch's baby, y'all stay tuned)

Thalia was standing at the forward viewport when the _Absolution_ dropped out of hyperspace, and it took everything she had not to turn and grab the nearest wastebasket as soon as the planet came into view. As it was, she gasped and closed her eyes, using the steel girder beside her to steady her.

From his position at the main flight control console, Kit called out to her. 

“Sir? Are you alright?” He stood up from his chair, but out of respect maintained his distance. “Is it the Force?”

Thalia smiled. Not so very long ago, they had both been at vastly different stations, in standard-issue white laminate armor, with no names to address each other but an assigned alphanumeric code. Now she was in tan breeches and with a long dark blue overcoat, and the dark leather belt at her waist held a blaster _and_ a lightsaber. She clasped her hands behind her back and walked away from the windows.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. It could be just my personal experience haunting me. But, I think a place like that… full of such awful atrocities and so much pain, sometimes they leave an impression.” She frowned. “Do we have contact with either Master Solo?”

 “Er… no, sir. But there's the _Consortium_ and the advance guard you sent ahead with Genji.” She turned, following his gaze, to see the other ships pop into space around them. She frowned, looking for the _Sparrowhawk_. “General Dameron is hailing us from the pirate cruiser.”

“Put him on, please.”

 “This is Apprentice Knight-Captain Thalia of the _Absolution,_  General. Do you have further orders for us?”

 “Ah, well, Thalia… Unfortunately the Masters Solo have gone off after Grand Marshall Hux, so-”

 “What? That refuse compactor escaped?” Kit sputtered.

Thalia closed her eyes and just barely stifled an irritated groan. Of course he escaped. She tried very hard to keep accusatory tones from her voice as she responded, although she couldn't help but wonder what kind of idiots in the Resistance let something like this happen.

 She mentally went through the list of command before realizing that with the two masters gone, and Soran off on his own quest, the ranking Knight left was…

“General Dameron, is Kirin aboard the _Consortium_?”

“Kirin the Twi'lek?” He asked in mild confusion.

“Kirin the Knight-Cathar of the Order of Ren,” she clarified. “Without either Master Solos or Master Soran, she is the ranking officer of our forces.”

 There was a surprised curse, followed by some static where she could hear a lot of voices talking over each other before Pashi finally shouted “ **SHUT UP!** ” with the power of the Force behind it. Kirin's uncertain voice finally greeted her over the comm, even softer than her normal lilting contralto tone.

“Thalia. Apprentice-Knight Thalia, I mean. We've… got some plans for the approach, but I’d rather not discuss it over open communications. Can you…”

 Thalia coughed loudly, and Kirin cleared her voice, purposely speaking with a more firm tone, not exactly commanding, but one that engendered obedience for perhaps different reasons.

“I'd like for you to leave Lieutenant Kit in command with Khawapashi and Kayt Baasen to advise, and join us here on the _Consortium._ I will send Pashi with a transport.”

“There's no need to send her over, Master Kirin. I believe Chewbacca would be happy to take me on the _Falcon_ ,” she suggested.

There was some discussion on the other end, and Thalia sensed a presence in the Force at the lower bridge. When she glanced down out of curiosity, she understood.

“Master Kirin, if I may be bold, I am sure the _Absolution_ will be in capable hands with just Lieutenant Kit and the Wookie elder.” Thalia offered carefully. “The officers here are all stellar in performance and highly-dedicated to our cause.”

“Oh, wonderful.” She could hear the relief in the young Knight's voice. She may have been given higher rank, but she was trained to serve, not command, although she had rallied valiantly. “Then, please… ahhmm…. Depart as soon as possible with Kayt Baasen and Chewbacca. Tell them I appreciate their cooperation, as well.”

 “Understood.” Thalia met Kit’s inquisitive eyes and nodded sharply. “Take over, Lieutenant, and request Elder Khawapashi’s presence to advise as soon as she is available.”

 She had a little difficulty convincing said elder that they really needed at least one experienced Force-sensitive and strategist on board, but she grumbled irritably that no one would be able to understand her. Luckily, Kayt Baasen pointed out the free command console at Lt. Kit’s side, and the two old friends shared a private smile as he told her she could always ‘commandeer the ship’s computers to assist her.’ Thalia did not like the sound of that, but the old Wookie had a way of engendering trust, and Ensign Rolan assured them that he could understand at least enough Shyriiwook to make rough introductions and follow simple orders.

 She met Genji in the hangar, and instructed him to take charge of the recent recruits and keep them from interfering with command, then she boarded the freighter with a very impatient Kayt Baasen and Chewbacca.

 

  
“So when exactly were you planning on telling me about this knighting ceremony that I wasn't invited to?” Pashi asked with feigned anger. Kirin fingered her new belt nervously.

“I was waiting until we could be alone,” she sighed. “I wanted you to hear it from me first, please, believe me. I truly did not have the chance-”

 “Oh, I know.” They were alone now, in the hangar of the _Consortium_ , but only for maybe another five minutes. Still, it was a nice moment. She leaned forward to take full advantage of the situation, firmly drawing Kirin against her and bringing her lips down over her girlfriend's.

 Kirin moaned happily, clinging to her neck and brushing her thumbs in a soft pattern over the sensitive spot at the base of Pashi’s skull, and she shivered. As per usual, even though she piled on blankets to sleep with in the cold of space, Kirin was dressed in the absolute minimum of silky, thin fabric, with a woven purple wrap draped over her shoulder and hip, covering absolutely nothing. Her smooth, satin skin was everywhere, and Pashi wanted to touch it _all_. She wanted to put her mouth on it, and-

 Suddenly her love pulled away, her face flushed a light violet, her bright irises almost obscured by her widened pupils.

 “You have got to stop that, or I am going to have to find a change of clothes,” she whispered. Pashi blinked and Kirin lowered her eyelashes demurely. “I can _sense_ you. I've gotten better at shielding, but not so much with you, my sweet nightbird.”

“Oh, the empathy!” Pashi took a step back, but Kirin latched onto her hand quickly, giggling at her sudden look of shock. “Crap, I’m sorry, I must be… wow. Well, this is, um… I have to hug my father in like two minutes.”

Her eyes must have looked as panicky as she felt, because Kirin was outright laughing now, one petite hand over her lips to contain the sound.

“No, no. Don't be sorry, please no. But I think we will need to find some time to be alone very soon, for the sake of my sanity.” She smiled darkly. “And yours.”

“I agree,” Pashi said, moving in to steal another kiss that was quickly interrupted by the sound of a craft entering the hangar. She sighed, turning to watch the _Falcon_ set down.

Kayt Baasen was _not_ a patient man, and he didn't wait for the ramp to lower completely when he could jump off it and use the Force to cushion his landing. Pashi let go of Kirin's hand for a moment, laughing as her father rushed to wrap her in a firm hug.

“Oh, my little girl. I was so afraid we lost you.” He kissed her cheek and Pashi realized he was crying. She was surprised to find she was crying too, and when he drew back to look her over, carefully cataloging every change in her expression and behavior, she nearly choked on a sob.

 “I was scared, too, Pop,” she admitted, hugging him tightly again. She had managed, so far, to keep herself occupied, focused on getting the prisoners to safety, on piloting the _Aeonhawk,_ on Kirin. But the fear and relief in her dad’s eyes made her feel like a child again, and she could feel herself breaking down. “I was so scared. I tried to be brave, I fought them as long as I could… They tried to drug me with the most laughable doses at first. And I remembered what Soran said, about how they try and trick you into things… But then they broke my hand, and it _hurt so much_ and - and I -”

“Shhhh… you're safe now. It's alright.”

 He rubbed her back soothingly, and she felt Kirin's presence beside her, warm waves of love and safety projected with a delicate touch that she grasped and pulled into her along with great, gasping sobs.

Slowly she got herself under control again, reaching blindly for Kirin's hand as she let go of her father's strong arms. She saw him glance down as she took the other girl's hand and he smiled.

“I like her, Pashi. When are you bringing her to meet your mom?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Pop! I don’t know if either of us is ready for that,” she sighed. She really did want to see Wastrel soon, but bringing home her girlfriend?

“I would be happy to meet your mother, if you wish, Pashi,” Kirin squeezed her hand reassuringly. “But I'm sure we can talk about that later. For now, I have duties, and I am sorry to pull rank, but I need you with me.”

Pashi nodded, wiping under her eyes with the palm of her hand until Kirin produced a dark ivory silk handkerchief and offered it to her.

“Honestly, I don't know how you hide things in those scraps you wear,” she said wonderingly, but she took it and kept it in her hand as she turned to greet Thalia and Chewbacca.

“That's what the belt is for,” Kirin whispered conspiratorially. “You'll notice I don't have a lightsaber.”

“Wait, but how-” She shook her head, and Pashi sighed in annoyance. There was too much to do, too many demands on their attention. “You still have to catch me up on all this stuff. I can’t believe it’s only been a few weeks.”

 “We will,” Thalia assured her from Kirin's other side. “It's good to see you're safe, Pashi.”

 Pashi frowned, tilting her head at the ex-trooper.

 “Have we met? Because I feel like-”

 “We've sparred before, perhaps?” Thalia said with knowing wink. “When I was behind that ‘faceless marshmallow suit’ I believe you called it?”

 “Yes! Haha, I knew you had potential. Did you talk to Ben?”

“Gods, no. I talked to Commander - Commandant Sloane - and she told me to approach Master Rey.” She laughed. “I don't know how you guys do it, that man will always terrify me.”

“Hmm. I used to be afraid of him, too,” Kirin admitted. Then her eyes sparkled with mischief. “Master Rey showed me some things and I just can’t bring myself to fear him as much now.”

“What -” Thalia coughed, while Kayt and Pashi regarded Kirin with almost identical looks of interest. “What things did she show you?”

“That he is just as human as we are.” She paused, enjoying their disappointed looks. “And that he enjoys some peculiar bedroom activities.”

Thalia’s face turned red, and she resolutely turned to step ahead of them, while Pashi gave her a wide-eyed look and Kayt Baasen shrugged as if he were truly bored. Behind his back, Kirin held her hand up in a sort of half-closed fist, and Pashi felt the faintest pressure over her throat. Not enough to be bothersome, but she got the point, and could not contain her squeals of laughter.

 “You’re serious? Kylo-Ben? Actually… I can kind of see it… Especially if it’s-”

 “ _Pashi!_ ”

 

 

Ahead of the two girls, Kayt Baasen sighed and replayed the images of Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order tripping out of his mind and mumbling about space whales on the floor of his living room. He tried not to roll his eyes as it occurred to him that the fate of this mission, and possibly the _galaxy_ was in the hands of a pair of horny teenage girls who were currently giggling over gossip like a pair of… teenage girls.

He lengthened his stride and caught up with Thalia, as the ex-trooper seemed to realize she was on a strange pirate vessel, cobbled together from the carcasses of several types of cruisers with no intuitive layout.

 “The bridge is this way,” he offered, gesturing for her to follow him.

 “Thank you, Master Baasen,” she said with a formal nod. Kayt rubbed the back of his neck in a unconscious gesture of awkwardness.

 “Yeah, it’s just Kayt, really. My nephew and my daughter are already part of your little order of warrior monks. I’d rather not be lumped in, if that’s alright with you.”

 The woman frowned, clearly unaccustomed to anyone requesting they be addressed on a a first-name basis. He chewed his lip.

“It’s just Thalia, isn’t it? You don’t insist on that whole ‘Apprentice Knight-Captain’ business every time, do you?” He asked shrewdly. She gave him a surprised glance.

“You’re not part of the Order, so my title has no meaning between us,” she explained carefully.

He nodded, smiling. “Exactly. Just like you’re not a member of the Black Sun Syndicate, so I am not your master. Just Kayt.”

“I see. Very well, Kayt.” She paused. “I’m glad we got your daughter back safe. She’s very well-liked by all of us, not just Master Kirin.”

“Thank you, Thalia.” He stopped, having reached the doorway of the bridge control room. Jade Penthe was already making her way over, and they exchanged a brief kiss of greeting.

“You are lovely as ever, Captain Penthe,” he gave her an easy smile, and the Twi’lek grinned.

“Charming to see you as always, Kayt.” She returned his smile with a piercing stare. “How is Wastrel these days?”

He sighed, defeated, and gestured to Thalia. “Knight-Captain Thalia of the Order of Ren, allow me to introduce my esteemed sister-in-law, Captain Jade Penthe of the _Consortium._ And her Lieutenant, Kali Mentaya.”

The Rodian joined them just as Thalia finished shaking hands with Jade, nodding in greeting to the apprentice knight before turning her attention back to Kayt and Jade.

“We’ve received some news,” the lieutenant said quickly. Kayt spotted the unruly dark curls of Poe Dameron poking out from a headset, and hailed him just as Dameron looked up. The General gestured them all to come over, then removed the headset and flipped on the overhead speakers.

“Guys, you’re on the overhead comm,” he craned his head past Kayt and Thalia to beckon urgently to the two girls just now entering the crowded bridge. “I already told them Pashi’s plan," he explained in a whisper. More loudly, he addressed the comm station microphone.

"Care to repeat all that, Solo?" 

“Not really, but if I must,” Ben Solo’s deep voice crackled with static, and Poe gave an involuntary shiver. Kayt recalled he had ben Kylo Ren’s prisoner at one point. “We tracked Hux to a place called Moraband. If you’ve never heard of it, look it up later. Suffice it to say, it’s the homeworld of the Sith. Rey and I shared a… Force vision… that made us decide not to follow him there. So we will be rejoining the _Absolution_ in approximately sixteen hours. You’re to withhold the mission to Arkanis until we arrive.”

Everyone was quiet, each processing that simple explanation through a variety of individual questions and concerns, but very few people were willing to talk back to Ben Solo, even if he wasn’t wearing a mask and towering over them in the same room. Finally, Pashi broke the silence, and Kayt shot his daughter a proud grin. 

“We’ve been in orbit for a few hours, Master. I realize we’ve already lost the element of surprise, but if we wait any longer-”

“Are we monitoring ships leaving the planet?” Jade asked.

 Kali nodded. “None at the moment. The planetary shield is shut tight.”

“No sign of those two Star Destroyers that were at the cargo freighter?” Ben asked. Gazes turned to the lieutenant, and she shrugged and shook her head.

“No. I don’t know what they were doing there, but they didn’t follow us back to the planet.”

“Damn. Has anyone been in touch with the Rebels or the First Order?” Ben asked in the silence. “Since they let Hux escape, obviously.”

“Not yet,” Poe’s tone was defensive. “I’m sure Finn will keep us updated as soon as he can. Lt. Mitaka from the _Finalizer_ was on the ground team, too, so if he reports back to First Order before Finn, we’ll hear from them too. I hope, anyway.”

“We will,” Rey’s voice came in, as firmly drawing a line between the two leaders as if she had actually been standing between them. “Soran is there after Dralnu as well, and he hasn’t come back either.”

“True,” Ben said more calmly.

“Well, until then, Master Knights…” General Dameron leaned back in his seat, hands behind his head and his legs stretched out under the console. “If they already know we’re here, we might as well let them sweat it for awhile until our A-list Force team gets back.”

“Did you just-”

“Thank you, Poe. We’ll see you soon.”

Rey clearly ended the connection, and Kayt glanced around the room, gauging reactions. Jade and Kali were going about their duties, increasingly irritated at the crowded bridge. Dameron didn’t seem to notice it, but they were both shooting daggers at him behind his back. He clapped his hands together.

“Oookay, raise your hand if you think you’re going down to Arkanis,” he said a little belligerently. He was not surprised to see his daughter and her girlfriend raise their hands. “I thought so. Go get some rest, both of you. _Sleep_ , Pash.”

“We’ve got sixteen hours. We’ll fit in, I promise.” Both girls giggled as they disappeared down the hallway, and Kayt wasn’t the only adult in the room rolling his eyes.

 

 

Once he had calmly and efficiently charmed everyone else off of the bridge, Kayt sat in the chair General Dameron had vacated and sighed. His sister-in-law sat beside him with an even more exhausted sigh.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. The highest rank on the bridge is always the captain. I don’t know how Dameron or even Thalia didn’t think of what they were doing.” Privately, he knew it was because the _Consortium_ was, essentially, a pirate ship, and neither the First Order nor the Resistance considered Jade a legitimate authority, even aboard her own ship. A thought occurred to him, and he chuckled. “You won’t have to worry about that crap with the Solo boy or Rey. She’s a scavenger and he’s…”

“Han Solo’s kid,” she finished. Kali glanced over and shared their laugh.

“Thank you for saving my daughter,” he said when it got quiet. Jade shrugged.

“It’s what Vasto would have done, and there are worse ways to pay off a debt to Nyarla the Hutt. Besides, given what the people we freed said, it’s Kirin you should be thanking.” She studied Kayt thoughtfully. “How long have they been together, do you know?”

“Well, Pash left us a few months ago, so… probably about that long, knowing her.” Kayt flashed a faint, self-deprecating smile. “My girl knows what she wants, and she’ll do whatever it takes to get it. She’s a flirt, but… I’ve only seen her serious about one other person, and that was you, and she was ten.”

 Kali laughed softly, a sort of musical trill that came through her nose and the antennae on the top of her head. Jade smiled.

“I remember. She was so mad at Vasto.” The Twi’lek shook her head, her fingers trailing over a simple etched platinum band on her finger. It was the only piece of jewelry Kayt had ever seen her wear. “I do believe she’ll marry that girl, Kayt. And she’s as kind and gentle a soul as you could ask for…”

“I’m hearing a ‘but’ coming up.” He sat up straighter, his dark eyes going from Kali to Jade. “Lay it on me, ladies. Is my future daughter-in-law a closet Sith?”

 “Actually…” Kali’s wide, pupil-less blue eyes were grim.

 “Kind of, yeah. But you should hear the full story,” Jade cautioned. “There’s a woman in the infirmary you might want to ask. I only know what I heard in passing.”

He stared at Jade, stunned into stillness for a moment. His hand found the deathstick in his pocket and he popped the half-chewed end into his mouth before he rose.

“Well. I suppose I’ll take a walk down to the infirmary, then.” He bowed to both women. “Jade, Kali. Thank you, again.”


	38. Never Enough Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, these kids. How do they find the space between fucking and fighting to sleep or eat or catch up on meditating? Ration bars on the go, I guess. Sleep and meditation are overrated anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of smut in this chapter, somehow I manage to fit in even when important plot things are happening. No warnings, there's not enpugh time for that kind of smut.
> 
> I just realized Pashi and Kirin together have the coloring of a beautiful succulent plant, blues and greens and pink and violet, so... I thought decorating with those combined colors would begin as something unconscious and gradually become more apparent as their lives become more entwined... Gold stars to anyone who sees where I’m going with the meta plot here...

"Oh, wow, when you said quarters, this is  _ not _ what I was thinking…”

Pashi trailed off as her eyes drifted around the room, taking in the low, dark wood couches piled with jewel-toned pillows, burgundy and amber rugs covering up the cold black flooring, beautiful succulent plants hanging from the walls and one small table between the furniture, bringing life and warmth to the room. She walked over to examine one, a dusky rose-colored star flower that reminded her of Kirin's skin.

“They're not real,” the other girl said with a touch of sadness. “I know fake plants are thought of as tacky, but I wanted at least the illusion of something living.”

“This place is amazing,” Pashi insisted, privately vowing to replace every fake with a living version as soon as possible. She would do it quietly, sneak them in when Kirin wasn't looking, maybe Genji could help her find them whenever they had a chance to go planetside. Succulents didn't require much in the way of care. 

“Where did you find all this stuff?”

“When they took over the ship, Thalia and the remaining crew had to close off a lot of empty quarters and storage lockers. We wanted to surprise the masters, because we thought they deserve a place that feels like a  _ home  _ now that they're married. So we decorated their rooms with carpet and things we found that no one claimed. Rey told us we should do the same for ourselves.” She smiled as Pashi ran a hand appreciatively over the soft gold and red curtains closing off the living area from the small hallway behind it. “The  _ Absolution _ is the headquarters of the Knights of Ren, but it's also our home, and we're free to personalize our apartments as we wish. There's plenty of spare officer's cabins so… pretty much everyone has their own living space. Even the soldiers have their own individual rooms.”

“So they let you just take whatever you wanted from storage?” Pashi glanced at the carpet again, then realized Kirin was barefoot, her boots left on a small shelf by the door. Somewhat sheepishly, she knelt and removed her own shoes and took them to the shelf. “Ooohh, that carpet is soft! Kriff, these ships are huge, there must be a ton of stuff like this-”

“There's a whole hangar of it. It's kind of like a bazaar, but you don’t use credits, you build work points and they're attached to your access code. Pick up an extra shift in the cafeteria, help the mechanics lift heavy equipment, take a turn at the laundry.” She shrugged, spreading her hands. “We can go down there later, if you want. I saved some points for you to… I mean, I…”

Pashi was already peeking curiously around the curtains, noticing two doors on the left-hand side and one on the right before the bathing chamber door at the end. She could see some very plush blue towels and a bath rug through the slightly-open door. Two doors. On the  _ Finalizer, _ Kirin had shared a bunk with Genji, but she hadn't seen any indication that the Wookie was living here. She turned to see Kirin eying her nervously from the kitchen area opposite the sitting room, twisting one of the silver rings she wore as she breathed shallowly.

“I assume one of these rooms is your bedroom?” Pashi said with what she hoped was a gentle, not too eager tone. Kirin's eyes widened, her amethyst irises slowly overwhelmed as her pupils expanded.

“The… ah… the second door.” She gestured, then swallowed nervously. Frowning, Pashi came back to stand in front of her and take her hands in hers. It took a minute for Kirin to meet her eyes, and when she did she was nearly trembling.

“Babe, if you changed your mind about clocking in some alone time, it’s okay. We can just sleep.” She let go of one hand to cup her face, stopping Kirin from looking away, peering down worriedly at her love's anxious face. “I'll crash on the couch if you want. Or is there-”

“I want you to stay with me. Here,” Kirin interrupted quickly.

“Of course I’m staying with you.” She frowned in confusion. “What, did you think I would want to sleep on Genji's sofa or something?”

“No, I mean…” She looked terrified, and Pashi was starting to get really worried. Did she want her to find somewhere else to stay? Was she uncomfortable with just the two of them alone here? But when she spoke, it all came tumbling out in a rush. “I was hoping we could live together. You can say no, I know it's only been a few months and maybe it's rushing things and we-only-had-sex-once and if-you-don’t-want-to-it’s-”

Pashi felt something like a stab wound in her chest, a flood of emotion so sudden and intense it was physically painful, and she could not  _ stand _ to see Kirin so painfully anxious when the answer was obvious, but she was talking so fast and it was somehow impossible to string the right words together in her head, so she just seized her face and kissed her. And kissed her. And when they broke apart to breathe, she was kissing her neck and her shoulders, her hands sliding around her girlfriend's waist and beneath the hem of her silk top. The woven wrap she had around her shoulders simply fell off with a quick shrug, and Pashi rapidly added the top and Kirin's layered skirt to the floor as well.

“Bright stars, you're beautiful.” Kirin raised an eyebrow, standing confidently in her green lace underthings, and Pashi could not help her stupid grin. “I know, you know. Sometimes I just… have to say it anyway.”

“Pashi. Oh…  _ oh, _ absolutely not,” she grabbed at her to stop Pashi from kneeling, her delicate hands surprisingly strong. “No. That is not how we are doing this.”

She wrapped Pashi’s blue-green hand in both of hers, eyes trailing appreciatively over the contrast in their skin, before she moved around her and dragged her down the hall, opening the door with one hand while she kept a tight grip with the other.

Pashi didn't have a lot of time to appreciate the dark room, but the bed was wonderfully large and piled with pillows, and the entire back wall of the room was a transparisteel window, giving them a gorgeous view of the blue-white planet below and the sparkling stars behind it.

Kirin wasted no time removing the borrowed pants and vest she had been given by her aunts, and she firmly pushed Pashi down to the bed, kneeling to remove her undershorts as well. Pashi tossed her borrowed shirt away, too, because getting naked as quickly as possible seemed like a good idea to her, and she winced as it hit something in the dark.

“Whatever that was, I’m not sorry.”

She smiled at Kirin’s startled giggle as she pushed Pashi back up the bed, crawling on top of her to explore her fully nude body with her tongue and lips and teeth. Kirin firmly avoided all of Pashi's attempts to get her underclothes off, smirking and chiding her gently.

“Do I need to tie you up?” She asked as she pulled away the grasping hands again, holding them down to the side while she nibbled and sucked along Pashi’s collarbones.

“I just want to feel you against me,” Pashi whined. “And maybe put some things in my mouth. Is that a crime?”

“Patience. I just got you back, my little nightbird. Let me show you how much I've missed you.” 

She kissed her gently on the nose, before moving down to apply her mouth around her nipple, sighing in pleasure at the sound of Pashi's harsh moan. She worried at it cautiously with her filed canines, and the moan became a high-pitched whine. Pashi cupped the back of her head in her hands, both thumbs caressing gently beneath Kirin's  _ lekku  _ as she proceeded to give the same attention to her other nipple.

“Gods, Kirin… your teeth,” she moaned as the filed canines scraped very lightly over her flesh.

“Too much?” She asked, pausing to find Pashi’s eyes in the dark. She could see the desire glittering in those impossibly beautiful eyes, and it singed her nerves light the sting of a blaster bolt. She shook her head, encouraging Kirin to continue.

“No, I mean, I  _ like _ it. It's so different, but it's… gods… are you even real?” She peered down, watching as Kirin slowly reclaimed her nipple, her eyes never leaving Pashi’s, until she threw her head back in pleasure. “ _ Fuck.” _

Kirin moved her sinful mouth down, pausing to lick at her navel before her hands prodded at her thighs. Pashi made room between her legs with an appreciate gasp, leaning up on her elbows because she wanted to see as much of Kirin as possible. Just the sight of her there, her face framed for a moment by the dark skin of Pashi’s thighs, was enough to set her whole body on fire. She didn't even recognize herself in the low, feral moan that escaped her throat.

“Yes, sing for me, my love. No one can hear us here,” Kirin encouraged. 

Pashi looked down, catching a positively devious gleam in her girlfriend's gaze as her jewel-bright eyes caught the light from the window. She felt the velvety touch of Kirin's mind, reading her desires and responses to every touch and taste, and she gaped in surprise, her jaw trembling slightly.

“Is it okay?” Kirin asked worriedly. “I just want to know what you like-”

Pashi narrowed her eyes, returning the earlier devious look, and leaned down to slide a finger beneath the strap of Kirin's lace brassiere.

“Take it off, and you can read my mind at your leisure,” she bargained. The other girl sat back thoughtfully, then took Pashi’s hands and brought them around to her back as she crawled back up her body, pressing kisses against her stomach and hips.

“Unfasten it if you want to see so badly,” she ordered. 

She tried, she really did, but it was more difficult than she imagined, and she found herself cursing in frustration while Kirin took the opportunity to slide her small fingers into her naked sex, trailing through the slick heat before expertly teasing the apex. She made sure to latch onto Pashi’s gaze as she sucked the taste off her fingertips, and she closed her eyes and groaned, giving up.

“Okay, you win. But… just so you know, that was a cheap trick.” She bit back a moan as two thin fingers breached her entrance, moving her hips instinctively for more. “I am so going to torture you like this one day.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Yes,” she said, in response to the question, followed by a long string of more ‘yesyesyes!’. She couldn't reach Kirin very effectively with her face between her legs, so she grabbed fistfuls of the bed sheets, panting. The softest trace of the Force brushed her thoughts, and when Kirin's tongue moved with perfect precision, she couldn't have kept her voice down if she tried. She had added the other two fingers on her hand, letting Pashi thrust her hips into her palm, and then she pressed with her tongue and lips and  _ sucked _ , and -

Her body convulsed almost before she realized it what was happening, but she cried out as she crested, long, sharp notes that faded to murmurs of love and praise as Kirin held her and worked her palm slowly as the waves of pleasure flowed through her.

Pashi made a soft, needy sound that eventually came out as Kirin's name, her hands reaching down to draw her love up close so she could kiss and hold her.

“Maybe I haven't made this clear, but I love you, Kirin,” she said as she caught her breath. “I don't know… I don't want to pressure you, but I-”

“I love you, too. I love you more than I've ever loved anything or anyone. Please, please say you'll move in with me,” the younger girl blurted out, stunning her into silence. “I brought your things from the  _ Finalizer _ , and I left the other bedroom open for you, maybe it was presumptuous… No it was presumptuous, but I don't care, I may only be seventeen, but I've been an adult for most of life, I’ve always been responsible for myself, and I know what I want. I've never been this sure of anything, ever, but I'm sure of you. I’m  _ sure _ , Pashi. Ple-”

She silenced Kirin with a finger against her lips and a warm smile. Of course she was moving in. She didn't need to think about it. Her heart had answered immediately the second Kirin asked.

“Well, obviously!” She coughed softly, noting how Kirin's eyes glinted to hear the hoarseness in her voice, and she pressed her forehead against hers. “You silly minx, did you think I’d say no?”

“I didn't know what to think. I just... knew I had to ask,” she breathed in deep, relaxing under the slow caress of Pashi’s hand up and down her shoulder. “There's something I have to tell you first. Before you commit like this…”

Pashi nodded, winding her  _ lekku _ with Kirin's, both of their eyes caught by the intimate gesture, the stark contrast of blue and pink tones. She gazed into the brilliant amethyst eyes as Kirin lifted them back to her, nodding for her to go on while she fiddled with the annoyingly-strong strap of her lingerie.

“When I found you through the dreams and healed you… It was a Sith technique. I killed everyone there who wasn't a slave. And I’m not sorry. The only regret I have… is that Dralnu escaped somehow.” She sniffed suddenly, and Pashi moved her hand to brush away the tears forming under her eyes. “They were monsters, all of them. I feel like it's wrong for me to think that. I used to have this reverence for life… all life. Even people like that. But I… I can't bring myself to regret it. Once it happened, once I embraced the dark side and used it to… to murder people… It's changed me. And I’m scared.”

Pashi pulled her lover firmly against her, wrapping her arms around the impossibly delicate but soft frame, holding her and soothing her with kisses and gentle careses. Her hands looked so large on Kirin’s body, although Pashi wasn’t really above average height for a human woman, female Twi’lek were generally more diminutive, and she had inherited more human dimensions. Added to the callouses from blasters and piloting and nails she kept blunt for practical reasons, it made her very aware of the contrast between them, how small and soft and  _ feminine _ Kirin was while she was… not. 

She decided she rather liked it, and she curled herself around her girlfriend protectively, like she could shield her from sadness with the pure, physical barrier of her body. Kirin’s thin arm encircled her waist while the other lay beneath where her head rested against Pashi’s shoulder. They were wound together everywhere, Kirin’s leg between Pashi’s, head tails and arms and hearts bound in a seemingly inextricable tapestry. Both found they preferred it that way, and despite Pashi's promise to torture Kirin in turn, they fell asleep entwined, neither willing to separate a single inch.

  
  


It was somewhat less than sixteen hours when the proximity alarm began beeping insistently, informing them that the  _ Sparrowhawk _ would be entering Arkanis’ orbit in approximately fifteen minutes.

Rey’s hand shot up and latched onto his chin, dragging his face back so she could continue her urgent exploration of his mouth while her hips rolled over his insistently.

_ It’s fifteen minutes. _

_ Don’t you want to shower or anything? _

_ I can wait to get to our quarters. _

_ You’re assuming we’ll have time. _

_ You’re assuming we won’t. _

_ Am I? _

He gripped her waist firmly and held her still while he surged inside her, and was rewarded with a surprised, but pleased moan as she closed her eyes and threw her head back. They had started with slow, tender affection when Ben woke her by trailing kisses over her face and closed eyelids, and she had gradually moved from sprawling over his chest to riding him with a sort of sleepy laziness. It was a pleasant, affectionate manner of reassuring themselves, finding an anchor in one another, in their bond and their love, solid and soothing.

But he wasn’t about to leave their last moments alone for Force-knew how long without reaching a satisfying conclusion. And he knew exactly how to get them there, even if Rey seemed to want to continue with a slower progression. He shifted, lifting her slightly to reach a deeper angle, and they sighed together in delight and relief.

Her hands dragged down his chest as she leaned back, giving him a glorious view of her body bouncing with his thrusts, and she clamped her hands over his and her thighs tight around him. She tightened around him inside, too, and he grinned, knowing she was already close, and reached out for her through the bond.

_ Smug bastard, _ her eyes closed and he allowed it, knowing she was seeking to focus on the sensation he was creating inside her body. Her little sighs and cries of pleasure grew louder, and he knew his lips were turned into a self-satisfied smirk, but it amused him that she knew it was there even with her eyes closed.

_ You know me so well. _

_ Oh, yes. Intimately. _

_ I’m aware. _

_ Really? _

“Is that… the best you can do…?” She panted out loud. Her eyes opened as she regarded him, the challenge in them evident.

“Oh, you want to play, hmm? Alright.” With swift movements, he lifted her off of him and pushed her over to the opposite bunk, onto her hands and knees. He reached down and gathered her hair in his hands, gripping firmly until she arched her back as he entered her.

“Oh, fuck. _Ben_ _.”  _ Rey whined, less of a moan now than a long, piercing keen. He could feel her on the edge already as he pumped into her, adjusting until he felt the bright flare in her mind that told him he was hitting the right place. 

“Ben!" Her voice was hoarse and plaintive. "Gods, fuck you!”

“Already there, thank you,” he grinned as her body stilled suddenly, feeling her pulse around him while he continued to fuck her through her climax, drawing it out until he could -

_ Dammit - Rey - You can’t - I can’t - _

He had felt her reach out to the Force, groaning as it flowed through him, and then felt himself straining to breathe. As if she really needed the extra pull to bring him over. He came mostly silently, but gasped as the strength of their combined release became too much for her concentration and her hold over his throat released.

Their  _ place _ was solid and bright as ever, and he felt her luxuriating in it, drawing it into her like the gulps of actual air his body was convulsing around. She wrapped it around him, too, and he fell down beside her and pulled her hot, sweating body against him, pressing his face into her hair. His slowly-relaxing breaths drew in the scent of her shampoo and the sun-warmed rock that was just her natural smell, and he closed his eyes, trying to write this moment in perfect detail into his memory.

“Rey, you have to be more gentle with me. I’m not as young as you, you know,” he teased. 

She laughed, Force he loved the sound of her laughter.

“Oh, really. You want me to be gentle?” She turned to look at him, her eyes wide with feigned outrage. “You don’t seem to care how uncomfortable  _ I _ am very often. Next time I’ll bend you over the forward console, then we can talk about being ‘gentle!’”

“You like it,” he said, feeling unusually defensive. “I know you do.”

“Yes. And you like it when I-” she waved her hand in the choking gesture without actually doing it. “You know. You came like… on command.”

She giggled, dragging herself away from him reluctantly to sit up on the edge of the bed. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over the stubble on his face and through his hair. It would be nice to get a droid to trim it, but he doubted they would have that kind of time. They’d be lucky if they could squeeze in a trip to their quarters.

Rey was still hogging the facilities when the ship dropped out of hyperspace, but she yelled for him to go ahead and land. “Not one scratch!”

And just as he predicted, the comm went off immediately with signals from both the  _ Consortium _ and the  _ Absolution. _ He sighed as he dropped into the pilot’s seat and began landing sequences, flipping on the comm to the Star Destroyer first.

“ _ Sparrowhawk _ , this is Lt. Kit of the  _ Absolution _ . You’re cleared to dock in your usual space.” The man’s voice seemed mildly irritated, but that was the natural state of Imperial officers, so it took Ben a minute to define why it felt so off. “Captain Thalia is resting in her quarters at the moment, but I’ll wake her if you wish.”

“How long as she been resting, Lieutenant?” He asked, feeling a creeping suspicion his officer had been stretched thin with the rush of recent events. They were all stretched thin, but Thalia needed to learn how to delegate if she was going to be a master knight  _and_ captain of the Star Destroyer.

“I’m not sure, sir. I suggested she retire about two hours ago.”

“And how long was she on the bridge before that?” He was going to have to make more definite guidelines on her split duties, she wouldn't be any use in either capacity if she regularly strained herself too much on one or the other. 

“Eighteen hours, Master Solo.” He heard a voice in the background and frowned. Why did it sound so familiar...?

“Lieutenant. What is General Dameron doing on my bridge?”

“Sir, I really have no idea,” the man responded with a haggard sigh. “It was the only way we could convince Captain Thalia to rest. I don’t know what good his presence is supposed to be doing.”

There was a brief “hey!” followed by “you’re a general, would you want Kylo Ren at the helm of your cruiser?” It appeared Dameron had no answer for that.

“Where’s Master Kirin?” He asked, ignoring Dameron for the moment to go down the chain of command.

“Also resting. I attempted to page her, but she is apparently busy tutoring an apprentice…” Ben started to roll his eyes, then remembered with a flush what he himself had just been doing. And where Pashi had been for the last two weeks. “Yeah, I’m not sure what the protocols there are, Master Solo.”

“Nevermind, wake Captain Peavey and tell him to assume the bridge, then escort General Dameron to the main control room and we’ll meet you there.” The ex-trooper seemed relieved to have actual orders from a station far enough above him he didn’t have to question them. Sensible orders, even. 

“Yes, Master Solo. I assume the other Master Solo will be joining you?”

“Correct,” he was just settling the ship down with the utmost delicacy in its assigned space. The docking crew closed in quickly, and he turned the controls into maintenance mode just as Rey exited the interior of the ship, dressed and hurriedly piling her wet hair into buns on the back of her head. He gave her a withering look.

“Oh, did you want to shower?” She asked with an evil grin.

“No, it’s fine. I mean, you’re from Jakku, I’m sure you’re used to the smell of stale sweat and greasy hair.” He returned her grin with one of his own. “Whenever we’re done here, I’ll leave you the pleasure of bathing me yourself. Every. Single. Inch.”

Her eyes traveled up and down his body as soon as he said the words, just like he knew they would, and she caught his bemused eyes and flushed.

“Oh, fine,” she mumbled softly, turning to activate the ramp.

“With your tongue,” he clarified. She wrinkled her nose at him.

“I’ll wash you with soap and water, thank you.  _ Then _ I’ll go over it with my tongue.”

He shrugged. “Sounds fair. Dameron’s in the main control room. Thalia had to be bullied into resting and she wasn’t comfortable waking anyone else or leaving the bridge, so I guess he volunteered to oversee things or something. On my ship.”

“ _ Our ship _ ,” she corrected. He paused, glancing over at her in surprise. She sounded just as irritated as he was. Rey shrugged. “Well, he couldn’t even trust me to not turn traitor with the Force Bond. Why would I trust him to command my - our - people?”

“I love you.” He pulled her in and kissed the top of her head. “In case you don’t know.”

“I know. Going to fetch Kirin and Pashi?”

“Yes. Apparently Thalia tried-”

“I can only imagine. Don’t be to hard on them, Ben,” she called as his long strides carried him away. “Think of how you would feel!”

 


	39. Let's Make Some Plans, Maybe They'll Stick...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of annoying cliffhangers, just fyi. If you're impatient like me, you might want to wait until the next update which should be later this week.

“So she killed them to heal Pashi? _All_ of them?”

Kayt leaned forward, searching the yellow-gold eyes of the Force witch. She smiled, a look of fervent admiration meeting his gaze.

“It wasn't wasted. All of our injured were healed as well.” She drew a ragged breath, and her eyes closed briefly. “Ah, this child is determined to inconvenience me in every way.”

“Wait, what?” Kayt frowned, sitting beside the bed so he was more level with Teekala, eyes taking in the woman’s heaving chest and the lines of pain in her face. “Are you in _labor_?”

“Is it that obvious?” She sighed. “I was so hoping to see the destruction of that place with my own eyes, not just in visions. It must be a male, to cause me such difficulty. A daughter would have better manners.”

Against his better judgment, Kayt offered his hand, and she used it to climb into a sitting position, long, thin fingers like claws pulling at his arm. The Dathomiri woman dragged her legs off the bed, still clinging to Kayt like a crutch, and slowly got to her feet, swaying. He heard a gasp behind him, and turned to see a child, a Togruta with sage-green horn stripes and pale violet eyes. She rushed out from hiding to take Teekala’s hand from the other side.

“No, Lady Teekala! You should stay in bed!”

She eyed Kayt nervously, clearly frightened, but more worried about her friend. The witch shook her head.

“No, I must walk. This is not my first child, little one.” They helped her pace around her bed slowly and the lines of pain at her eyes and lips eased. “Hopefully, it will be my last.”

“What do you mean, ‘hopefully?’” The girl asked, fear and suspicion clear in her voice.

Teekala glanced over at Kayt before responding.

“It is just a phrase, my dear. No one here is going to force me to have another.” She gestured between them, momentarily releasing her death grip on Kayt’s arm. “Mela, this is Kayt, Lady Pashi’s father.”

“OH!” She looked at him anew, all the fear and anxiety draining from her. “That's why you were asking about Lady Kirin!”

“Mela, if anything happens to me, you must stay with Master Kayt, do you understand?”

Both turned to gape at the Dathomiri. It was hard to tell with her already gray skin tone, but Kayt thought she looked grave. Beads of sweat stood out on her forehead, and she clenched her teeth and gasped, her knees giving away. Quickly, he caught her and eased her back to bed.

“Stay with her, please, Mela,” he said, darting for the door.

“Where are you going, you can't leave us alone! What do I do if the baby comes? Master Kayt, please!”

The girl's voice was frantic and tearful, and Kayt froze in his tracks, a string of curses in various languages filling his head. He reached out for the Force to calm himself, the exercise familiar, but rusty from disuse. When he turned back, his expression was neutral and his shoulders relaxed.

“I was going to find a doctor, Mela. I don't know how to help with a baby anymore than you do,” he told her honestly.

“The nurse lady said she was going to catch a nap,” the little girl informed him. She leaned forward to whisper to him. “I think Teekala lied to her about being ready to have the baby.”

“I think she probably did,” he agreed. “But that's okay, I know someone who can help.”

Mela regarded him with suspicion, and he fought to keep his expression calm as he imagined what her reaction would be to Medici.

“Hurry up and call the droid, scavenger lord,” Teekala said suddenly, through clenched teeth. “If this child kills me, at least you will have someone else to blame.”

He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it quickly. Kayt had experienced the Force witches of Dathomir before. There was no point in saying anything. He tapped the communicator on his wrist to signal the _Aeonhawk_.

“To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?” Came Medici’s crisp voice.

“Who else would be calling you with _my_ code, you fool droid?” He rolled his eyes, ignoring whatever smartass response was snapped back. “Look, I assume you can find the medical facilities on the _Consortium_?”

“I don't know why you would assume that, but I’m sure it is a simple feat. Would you like me to go there, or is this simply a request for information?”

“No, I need you here. Now!” He shouted to override whatever excuse the old rust bucket was planning to try. “The witch from Dathomir is in labor and I don't think she trusts Jade’s crew.”

“Very well, just give me one moment to gather the requisite supplies.”

  


“Madam, if you do not do as I say, you will die, and while I’m sure no one here particularly cares if you do,” Medici's darkly lit eyes flickered upwards in a sort of shrug, “I assure you, _no one_ here wants to be stuck raising the next Kylo Ren.”

“Perhaps you could just…” the woman could barely whisper, her narrow face was drawn with pain and misery, and Kayt watched with a set-in frown as the little Togruta clutched her hand. “...just give the child to Kylo Ren himself. Why not? He was raised by Jedi. Maybe he can… raise something in between…”

Her eyes rolled back and her back arched and Mela squeaked in pain at the grip of the Dathomiri’s strong claw-like fingers. Kayt had tried to hold her hand at first, but she had hissed and growled like an animal and told him she didn’t ever want to touch another male again.

“If you do not care for the life of your child,” Medici said drolly, “perhaps you can be bothered to care about this young female here who is so desperately worried for you. I am sure she will need training in the Force one day.”

“Please, don’t leave me Lady Teekala!” The girl pleaded right on cue. Kayt noticed the Force witch’s eyes open.

“Fine,” she hissed.

“Excellent. You may begin to push whenever you are ready,” Medici informed her. “Master, perhaps you want to inform.... someone… that we will need a bedroom with facilities for the infant prepared… somewhere?”

“Uh… yeah. I’ll just…” Kayt winced at the hoarse scream that echoed down the hallway as he stepped through the door. Predictably, he ran right into Jade Penthe.

“She’s having it already? She can’t possibly be that far along!” She stared at him with surprise and some measure of annoyance. “On my ship, no less! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I am telling you. Now. Teekala is having her kid, Medici is helping her, and I’m going back to the _Aeonhawk_ to get some sleep. Call the bloody Knights or whoever if you want someone to complain to.” He stalked off, leaving the captain staring after his wake, and went straight to his ship.

He rummaged in Medici's hidden stash of substances, both illicit and standard medicines, and found the bag of purple crystalline powder he knew would be there. It came into effect almost immediately after he packed it into his pipe and took a few puffs, exhaling fragrant purple smoke rings. Before he was actually high enough to ignore it, his conscience kicked in and informed him that if he didn’t talk to _someone_ who might care about the woman and her kid, he was going to have a bad trip, so he punched in the signal to the Star Destroyer.

“I need… to reach my daughter…” he demanded to the comms officer.

“Um, I’m sorry. This is the _Aeonhawk_ calling?” The officer sounded very irritated. Kayt sighed and dropped his head into his hands tiredly.

“Yes! Yes, this is Kayt Baasen-”

“Oh! Yes, of course. I will patch you into your daughter’s quarters.”

“Thank you.”

  
  
  
Kirin had never imagined, for all her experience, that she would ever find such pleasure in bedroom activities. She didn’t even think she would experience her own climax and now -

“More?”

Pashi’s voice was full of promise, and she could feel warmth spreading over her body again. She was flat on her stomach, with her lover sprawled over her and her long, talented fingers controlling her body with the same precision she used to pilot ships. Kirin moaned plaintively, shocked at the desperate sound of her own voice.

“You’re too good at this… It’s not fair,” her eyes roamed up to the small panel of electronics over her bedside table, and she made a startled noise when she noticed multiple message lights blinking. “Did you… disable the alarms?”

“Shhh….”

Warm, hot kisses on the back of her neck and along one slender _lekku_ distracted her, but only for a moment.

“Pashi,” she admonished. The other woman sighed heavily, slowly withdrawing her hands and lips for maximum teasing, making Kirin yelp and throw her off with a heave of her shoulders. “You are very naughty, my love. Don’t think this conversation is over.”

She sat up on the edge of the bed, reaching for the call button for the bridge just as a heavy knock sounded at the door, followed by multiple chimes of the bell. Kirin could tell who it was immediately, and she fought down a dangerous smile.

“Why don’t you get the door, Pashi?” She asked as she slipped into a silk bathrobe and snuck around the bed, batting away grasping hands trying to drag her back to bed. “We have obligations! I'm serious, stop!”

Pashi groaned, finally sitting up and reaching for her clothes. She paused with a shirt in her hand, and Kirin turned in the door to give her a soft smile.

“Your clothes are in the bottom drawer of the dresser,” she said as a peace offering before disappearing into the bathroom. The knocking grew louder, and Kirin shouted from the bathroom. “You’d better hurry, he might break it down.”

“Great,” Pashi said with a muffled curse. And then loudly, as she dashed down the hall still trying to button her shirt: “Okay, okay, I’m coming, dammit!”

She didn’t even blush under Master Ben’s scathing gaze, finishing rolling up her sleeves and rubbing her eyes against the bright light of the hallway.

“Do you know,” he said in a conversational tone, “that with me and Rey and Soran gone, Kirin is the ranking Knight aboard this ship?”

“Maybe you two shouldn’t go everywhere together, then,” she responded in the same tone. Pashi met his dark eyes fearlessly, shoulders squared. “Or maybe you should initiate someone else to spread out the burden.”

“We meant to,” he said, holding her eyes. “We always meant for it to be you two together.”

“So we could take missions together, like you and Rey?”

“Yes.”

“Huh.” For a moment she stood still, just staring at Kylo-Ben and his slightly uncomfortable stance and carefully neutral expression. “So, the Force Bond, is that a thing we can-”

“Yes, it is. Rey found a ritual in one of Master Skywalker’s books,” he narrowed his eyes. “You knew that.”

Pashi grinned. “Don’t you remember how Rey _found_ Kirin? You’re not the only people who have Force Visions, Master Solo.”

“Right. Okay.” He glanced over her shoulder as Pashi stepped outside, boots in hand. “Um. Is Kirin…?”

“She’ll find me,” she assured him as she jogged along behind his lengthy strides trying to get her shoes on. “Do you want to hear the plan?”

“What? What plan?”

She grinned under the surprised, suddenly intent gaze of the Knight-Admiral of the Knights of Ren.

“We didn’t really expect you back, so… I came up with a plan. Well, Kirin and Thalia helped, since they’ve been there, but…” He listened, occasionally glancing down with a startled or thoughtful expression, as Pashi detailed the idea of taking an old supply ship from the _Consortium_ and using the codes provided by Soran Baasen and Medici’s standing in the Black Sun Syndicate to fabricate a supply shipment.

By the time they joined Rey and Poe Dameron, along with Genji their newest apprentice, Arran, Pashi and Ben had hashed out the details as if they had been planning missions together for decades. And even more surprisingly, there was very little argument as they explained the mission to everyone else.

When she could get Master Rey alone, Pashi asked about the Force Bond ritual. Rey looked thoughtful, but concerned.

“We’ve read it over, but there’s still a risk,” she said. “And you have to be certain-”

“We’re certain.” Pashi felt the brief ghost of Kirin’s Force energy over her mind just before she slipped up beside her and put her arm around her waist. Rey looked from Pashi to her and back again.

“How long will it take?” Kirin asked pointedly. Rey shook her head.

“No. We’re not doing it now, it’s too risky and if one of you gets injured, there’s a chance we could lose you both, and…” she spread her hands, still shaking her head. “It’s not a good idea. You don’t know what it’s like, how… How difficult it is at first…”

“It wouldn’t have been nearly so difficult if you had just accepted it,” Ben said, quietly coming up behind Rey. She took a deep breath, her hand coming up and covering the one he laid over her shoulder.

“They want to do it now,” Rey explained.

“I’m sure they do.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Ben. We don’t have much time-”

“We’ll make time,” he said firmly. Pashi could have hugged him. “If Master Kirin believes it’s safe, I think we should trust her judgment.”

Rey looked over them both and sighed, allowing a small smile to light her face. She nodded, letting Kirin and then Pashi hug her tightly. Kirin tried to hug Ben, too, but he ducked out of the way with a sly smirk.

  


The four of them had already left the room, after ascertaining everyone had their orders and they would be prepared to board the supply ship in exactly two hours, when one of the comms officers came running in looking for Pashi. Poe Dameron exchanged a look with Genji and Thalia worriedly.

“Apprentice Pashi is involved in a Force ritual that cannot be disturbed,” Thalia told him firmly. The communications officer looked defeated.

“I tried to page Master Kirin’s rooms earlier,” he shrugged. “I have a message from Kayt Baasen on the _Consortium_. There’s some woman there, a friend of theirs, who’s having a baby?”

“Of all the terrible fucking timing!” Poe looked to see if the two apprentices had any idea of what to do, but both seemed just as baffled as he did. Genji gave a hesitant warble, and Thalia brightened. “What was that?”

“Genji thinks his grandmother will agree to help. She is Force sensitive and, apparently, has a dozen kids of her own,” the blond woman explained nervously.

“Okay. She’s not… under anyone’s command or anything so…”

“I’ll find her,” Thalia promised. Genji grumbled, but followed after her, leaving Poe alone in the control room of a Star Destroyer with no one to command and nothing to do but go and find a ship. To blow things up in. Thankfully, _that_  was all part of the plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAASSSS, I am so excited to explore how the Force Bond affects another pair! I know some people won't like where I'm going here, we all want Ben and Rey to be special - so let me be clear, they still ARE. There are a lot of OC and other subplots going on here, but the destiny of the Solos is still the main focal point, and will continue to be.


	40. Bound and Determined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, it's Sabine again! Wonder what's going on there?
> 
> These kids and their devotion... As if Ben and Rey weren't sickeningly sweet on their own...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the endgame now ;-D

The single, unregistered Empire-era TIE requesting docking privileges did not seem like that much of a threat, but Mandalore was zealously protective of its neutrality, and there were protocols. Thankfully, the pilot had radioed in a particular code that escalated his request to the highest authority. 

There was a hastily-painted Rebel insignia along the wing, and more paint over the dark black lines of the hull. The paint was purple.

Sabine Wren shifted nervously as she waited. She had been sitting in the hangar or lurking in the control room since the dark of the early morning yesterday, almost twenty-four hours now. To say she was impatient would have been something of an understatement. 

Normally, the small government shipyard had a staff of twelve and four ships, including her own. She had kicked out everyone, and had the two transports and gunship that weren't her own moved. Once that was done, she had nothing to do but wait, and she was tired of it.

Finally, the TIE’s hatch opened and condensation coiled around it, obscuring the form of the Jedi climbing out. Sabine hopped down from the storage crate she had been perched on and took a few steps forward. They were still several feet apart when he stopped, shaking back the hood of his cloak. She smiled a sort of shy, but wistful smile, until their eyes met and the emotion in his bright blue eyes nearly swallowed her whole.

“Ezra.” 

Her voice was a harsh whisper, and she lifted a hand without thinking. Immediately he stepped in and took it, pulling her into an embrace, and she brushed his face with trembling fingers. He closed his eyes briefly under her searching gaze. And then his hand closed over hers, pressing her palm to his cheek, and he leaned down, meeting her lips halfway.

It was only a brief kiss, but the promise - oh, the promise was there. Sabine drew back and grinned, nodding at the TIE.

“Nice paint job.”

“I thought you'd like it,” he said softly, returning her grin. He let her drop her hand from his face, but maintained his hold on it. “Are you ready to go?”

“Always.”

She led him around to her ship, noting his raised eyebrows with a laugh as he recognized it. The little corvette was an older model, but small and fast, both things he’d specified.

“Ahsoka’s ship?”

“Well, she's not using it.” He spared a sidelong frown at her macabre sense of humor and Sabine rolled her eyes, giving his hand a shake. “You're so serious! Honestly, she left it to me when she retreated to the kyber cave on Taris.”

“What happened to Hera?”

“That's a long story,” she sighed as they settled in and she began programming their flight. “The short of it is, she went back to Ryloth.”

“And the long?”

“Buckle up. It's a long flight to Tatooine.”

  
  
  


“One more time, just so we're all clear…” Ben Solo eyed the three women around him carefully. Well, two of them, anyway. When he met his wife's eyes, he was mostly seeking reassurance.  Rey gave him a determined nod, and he continued. “We're going to be open to each other's minds  _ completely _ . You won't see every little thing, but the ritual feeds on emotional moments, connecting the most similar experiences to build with. So if there's anything you want to explain beforehand…”

Kirin pressed her lips together grimly, then took a deep breath that caught in her chest. Pashi squeezed her hand gently, and Ben held her gaze and did his best to project warmth.

“I… I know that you all know… what happened to me, and I’m sorry if you… Some of it is really awful. I’m sorry if any of you are shocked or overwhelmed. But my life has mostly been a series of awful things, so…” She tried another deep breath, and this time it didn't catch.

“I’m… sorry too,” Ben said slowly. They all looked at him, as if suddenly realizing the full extent of what  _ Kylo Ren _ ’s memories could potentially contain, but Rey shook her head, taking his hand. “I've killed a lot of people. Some people I cared about. My father. My best friend.  _ Snoke. _ ”

“I've been inside your head. It's not that bad,” Rey insisted.

“I have done, like… a fuckton of drugs,” Pashi confessed suddenly. “Having a bad trip is not nearly as funny as you might think. I almost jumped three-hundred feet to the surface to escape glowing spiders. It sounds funny, but it's  _ not. _ Also I tried to stab my mom. She's not…” She looked at Kirin and bit her lip. “She has never accepted my sexuality. We were both drunk. Medici had to intervene. She… doesn't remember the things she said. But I do. So. Yeah.”

“Right, we've all got some demons, the important thing is we also know how to fight them off,” Rey said firmly. Kirin glanced at Ben and he could see the light of the fire demon in her eyes. From somewhere deep in his mind, Kylo Ren’s flat stare looked back. “We're not here to judge each other for the past.”

It was a strange ritual, at times very dark, requiring blood shared between Kirin and Pashi, their hands clasped and held up together to drip the combined substance down into a bowl he collected for later. But the binding Rey wrapped around their joined hands was pure white linen, and the energy rising from the bowl to surround them was a brilliant gold, the color of Pashi's flowing tattoos. It burned bright as the human-Twi'lek hybrid reached out with Force, creating a shield around them all. But it was Kirin who breached the other girl's mind, her darker, amethyst energy piercing straight from her mind to Pashi’s. 

“Keep pushing, Kirin,” he encouraged, even as Pashi began to tremble and grit her teeth. This was the crucial moment, the Force invasion of the other's mind with the intent to create something more, to possess in the purest, most primal way. 

This is what he had done unintentionally to Rey, with the both of them already stressed and bloodied and still somehow drawn to each other in a way they didn't quite understand. But he knew that intent was critical, and he had known in his heart it had to be Kirin, not Pashi, who initiated it. Because despite how it seemed, their dynamic was very similar at heart. 

It was Kirin who had the darkness that craved the light, Kirin who knew what it was like to need a connection with another person so badly, so selfishly, she wouldn't stop until she got what she needed. 

And it was Pashi who stood with one foot  _ firmly _ in the light, not because she was wiser or stronger or more compassionate, but because that’s who she was. Optimism was a core part of her personality, the same easy grace her scoundrel father displayed even though he had drugged a stranger in his living room.

Ben knew all of this, because he had been studying the ways of the Force for most of his life, the teachings of the Jedi, the Sith and whatever weird magic Snoke possessed. He knew about the Force Bond specifically because he was curious by nature, and had sought to understand it in every detail from the moment Rey had appeared to him that morning in the surgical suite of the  _ Supremacy.  _

All of this he would gladly have explained, if they had the time. They didn't so they were trusting his expertise, and he only hoped he was worthy of that faith.

Pashi made a soft, mewling sound, eyes moving rapidly under her pale blue lids, and Kirin hummed soothingly.

“I know, I know,” Kirin murmured. Silent tears trailed down her face as she cupped Pashi’s cheek with her hand. “You're not unnatural.”

“I just wanted my  _ mother _ !” She wailed. Suddenly her eyes opened wide and Kirin gasped as Pashi grabbed her wrist.

Ben could see the visions when he closed his eyes against the flare of violet light that pierced the gold.

_ “No, I mean I  _ like  _ her. Like dad likes you,” the girl couldn't have been more than twelve, and she shrank back from the disgusted glare of the Twi'lek woman sitting beside her. _

_ “No you don’t. Only sluts think that way. My daughter will not be some cheap whore in a dancing club!” The woman hissed. Her eyes were a burnished gold, nothing like the dark, mysterious eyes of her daughter. Young Pashi was crying, her mind heavy with confusion and hurt. _

_ “I don’t… I don’t want to be a dancer,” she stammered uncertainly. “And I’m not a-” _

_ The image shifted almost seamlessly, and it was Kirin, roughly the same age, coughing and gasping and dry-heaving, on her hands and knees on a very expensive carpet. _

_ “You stupid slut! Didn't they teach you to swallow?” _

_ The meaty hands of a human male grasped her  _ lekku _ , dragging her to her feet. _

_ Whisps of his own memories were summoned into his mind, Rey’s embarrassment the first time she took him in her mouth on the lakeshore on Naboo. How shocked and surprised she was at the taste.  _

He knew she was seeing the same thing, empathizing with Kirin's memory, and suddenly he felt very uncomfortable and ashamed just to be male.

_ But you never made me. I did it because I wanted to. _

He grimaced with guilt at the memory of their wedding night, how he had rather arrogantly insisted she could take all of him -

_ No, I don't mind. You're always willing to please me, why can't I be allowed to please you if I want? _

_ Another memory, Kirin's he thought. He recognized the man, and he flinched inwardly, but this was a pleasant memory from her perspective. _

_ “You can be kind if you wish. I would certainly prefer it.” _

_ “I'll be right back.” _

_ He did try to touch her, to make it at least pleasant, but she gently pushed his hands away and shook her head, much to his profound confusion. Kirin smiled slightly, she was well-accustomed to this conversation. _

_ “I’m sorry, I-” _

_ “It's not you. I just don’t work that way. I have some oil, if you don’t mind. Or I can use my mouth. However you like.” She dug around in the little basket that held all of her personal possessions for the oil she guarded like a precious medicine. For her, it really was. She touched him without hesitancy, hands quick and well-trained. Soran's eyes closed under her hands. _

_ “Just use your hands, then,” he said, hanging his head guiltily. She stopped and when he looked down at her, she was smiling. _

_ “You're going to pay for a whole night, just for this? You are a terrible Sith.” _

_ “I’m not - just finish me off, please? I'll teach you the mind trick, so you can make this… quicker.”  _

_ He wouldn't look her in the eye until the morning, when he gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead and a beautiful etched golden bangle. But the mind trick was more than worth everything he paid twice over. She could have given the jewelry to Garesh to melt down and pay for a night off, but since he had basically given her that, she kept it. _

Ben recognized that bangle. Kirin wore it everyday on her left head tail. It seemed like Pashi recognized it, too.

_ Another memory flickered through their shared vision. Rey, at the same age. A man, an old spacer with filthy hands grabbing her, holding out a fully-charged power supply and making an offer. She had already talked herself into it. But she couldn't stand the smell of him up close, she nearly gagged when he tried to kiss her, fleeing into the desert. She went to bed hungry, and dreamed of oceans. _

_ Ben was a small child on some beach somewhere, Chandrila, he thought, though another part away from the main spaceport. Playing with the waves until they came up too high and knocked him over. Panic and then sheer terror washed over him, until Han Solo’s strong arms caught him and lifted him clear of the water.  _

_ “He's alright, Leia,” he was yelling at the young woman with the long braid and Ben’s dark eyes who was rushing towards them, her fine dress dragging in the wet sand. Ben was crying and Han hugged him tight, soothing him. “Shhh, it's alright, kid, I've got you.” _

_ “Oh, my baby.” She looked so young, and Ben realized with a start his mother was younger in the memory than he was now. _

That seemed to be the end of the whirlpool of images, the vision of a young Princess Leia and Han Solo seemed to snap everyone out of their reverie. Kirin and Pashi were kneeling, hands still clasped over the silver bowl, now empty of the lifeblood used to fuel the ritual.

He looked instinctively at Rey and she gave him a tired smile, coming to stand beside him. The movement shook the couple on the floor and they parted slowly, examining the freshly-scarred skin of each other's palms. Kirin chuckled softly as Pashi exclaimed in surprise and delight, fingers tracing her own palm.

“You wanted a cool scar,” she said in a teasing tone.

“Hell yeah! Girls like scars. Right, Ben?” Pashi grinned at him and he shrugged, running a hand through his hair.

“I do,” Rey said quickly. “But I might just be admiring my own artwork.”

Kirin was tracing the mark on her palm slowly, a thoughtful, intense expression on her face as she watched her lover from the corner of her eye. Ben smirked, he had a feeling he knew exactly what she was thinking, and he caught Rey’s eye.

_ Wanna make a bet? _

_ What? Why? _

_ Just watch. _

“Pashi,” Kirin grabbed the other girl's hand as she stood, remaining on one knee, her expression suddenly serious. She slowly took the gold-etched bangle from her head tail and held it out, her face flushed with a violet hue. “Can we… Will you marry me?”

_ “What?” _

For a moment, they were all still, and quiet. Then Pashi took the slim piece of jewelry and examined it carefully. She flexed her head tail, drawing it up until it fit snugly halfway up. She had to rest the appendage over her shoulder to keep it from coming loose, but she didn't seem to mind.

 

_ How did you know? Did you see something I didn't? _

_ Maybe. But not a vision. I've just been paying attention. _

_ They're too young to get- _

_ Oh, are they? _

 

“Well? Will you?” Kirin’s voice trembled as she looked up at her new bondmate.

“I put it on, didn't I?”

“Pashi, don't be evasive, I can feel everything you feel. You're hiding something.” Kirin placed herself between her bonded and the exit, arms crossed sternly. The other woman rolled her eyes and gently clasped Kirin's arms.

“My love. I’m not hiding anything. I want to marry you. I just think we should try living together for a while and get used to this bond. I haven't even properly moved in yet.” She paused, smirking down at the stubborn-faced girl. “Also, you're underage, is it even  _ legal _ for you to get married?”

“I can do it anytime you want,” Ben spoke up. He had no idea why Rey suddenly jabbed him in the ribs with a sharp elbow. “Well, I am the Knight-Admiral. It's sufficient rank to marry someone, and Kirin is a Master Knight, so as far as the Order is concerned, she is sufficiently trained to make her own decisions.”

_ Damn you, stop making so much sense. _

_ They just sealed a Force Bond! It's a life-long commitment last I checked. _

_ I think I've been corrupting you again. You're being far too logical. _


	41. The Hour of Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lightsabers and starfighters are overrated anyway...
> 
> Oh my, Pashi have you discovered something interesting? Something about balance in the long term?
> 
> More esoteric Force stuff coming up, right after your regularly-scheduled action sequence!

They boarded the little supply shuttle Kali Mentaya had affectionately called the _Sloth_ one hour later. After hearing the details of Pashi’s plan, Ben had carefully chosen the ground assault team, leaving the apprentice glowering with frustration on the hangar deck as Kirin kissed her goodbye.

“It's your plan,” he explained. “I need you here to coordinate it.”

He wasn't actually lying when he said it, but anyone else could probably have argued their way around him. Not Pashi. They had spent weeks just getting her back, and no one was willing to risk her again so soon. Especially Kirin.

They hid themselves in packing crates, Ben and Rey tucked together in one while two more held Genji and Kirin and a _very_ stubborn Teekala along with Khawapashi to guard their escape. Poe Dameron and Chewbacca, on their scrappy freighters, provided cover in case things went south. To make their cover as viable as possible, Medici and Kali piloted the _Sloth_ into a short hyperspace jump so they could come in away from the Star Destroyer and the _Consortium_.

The craft was aptly named, Ben thought, as his back began to ache from his position, leaning up against the wall of the crate. His long legs were sprawled out before him as far as they could, and Rey sat between them, leaned back against his chest.

“Are you alright? I think I can crawl to the other side,” she offered, sitting up and craning her head back to look at him. He pulled her back to him firmly and kissed the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair.

“I'll be fine.”

He let his hand hand slide lazily over her body, down from her shoulder to wiggle his fingers inside the low neckline of her sleeveless tunic. He found her nipple after some exploration, and she stiffened her back, gripping his thighs.

“ _Ben!_ ”

“What? There's nothing else to do,” he complained. “We're stuck in here for another hour.”

He kissed her neck and down the slope of her shoulder, his other hand loosely grasping her, fingers spread out firmly halfway around her neck. His thumb rested at the base of her skull, gently rubbing circles into her hair.

Rey sighed in defeat, relaxing back into him as he nipped down her shoulder, then came back to caress the shell of her ear with his tongue. He caught her nipple between his fingers and pinched, roughly, and she let go of his thighs to cover her mouth with both hands.

_Can you come quietly, Rey? If you get too loud, I'll have to stop._

_You are insatiable. Sex, lightsabers and starfighters._

_What?_

_The only things that go through your head._

_Well, I can't work on my lightsabers now, and this isn't a fighter, so by your own logic, I only have one option._

He shifted, his hand trailing down her body to tug at her belt. She unfastened it with a subtle clenching of her jaw, and he pulled her up into his lap to more easily slide his fingers into her damp heat. He could hear her labored breathing as she arched her back, and then she firmly took his hand and guided it exactly where she wanted.

_That's my good little slut. Pull your pants down for me._

_Gods, you're fucking annoying._

She did as he instructed anyway, and he wasted no time finding her slick opening and plunging his fingers inside. Rey muffled her cries by biting into his arm, hard, and he grunted in surprise.

_If you can't stay quiet, I guess I can't ride your cock._

He removed his fingers and she held herself off of his lap long enough for him to undo the layers of clothing between them. When he pulled her back, he used one hand to hold himself to her while the other forced her down on him.

_Your body seems much more into this than you want to admit._

_I’m always wet for you, you know that._

_Always?_

_If you're touching me and talking to me, then yes._

He swallowed a groan at the thought, bucking into her as quietly as quietly as possible and still making the box creak under the weight of his movement. Ben gripped her hips tightly in both hands, moving so she had more leverage with her knees squeezed over his thighs against the walls of the crate.

_Move, Rey. Fuck yourself on my cock._

_I thought you'd never ask._

_I’m not asking._

Her hips rolled, pulling him deeper inside, and he sensed the moan building in her chest and swiftly covered her mouth with one hand. She bit his finger and he shoved two of them into her mouth in response, gathering her saliva when he pulled them out so he could reach down and rub the swollen pearl of her sex in firm circles. Rey stilled herself on top of him.

_You can't make me this way._

_No?_

He rubbed her faster, pinching and rolling her nipple with his other hand, until she writhed and panted and he could feel the wave of her pleasure building through the bond. Then he stopped, and waited.

_Oh, Force damn you. Fine._

She was impatient now, to close and focused on chasing her release. He had to cover her mouth again when she came, and with his cock so far inside her, the exquisite clenching and pulsing of her body around it brought him to finish, too.

Rey leaned back against him with a deep sigh, both struggling to catch their breath without sounding like it.

_Well, that was fifteen minutes, now what are we going to do?_

 

Stuck in another crate, not too far away from her masters, Kirin sighed in relief, and Genji warbled an inquiry.

“Yes, I think they're done now.” She sighed, leaning her head back against the wood of the crate. He made a noise, something between a whine and a growl, and Kirin closed her eyes. “It's not an easy gift, but the Force gave it to me for a reason, I believe, so I endure. I've gotten much better at shielding, anyway.”

Genji wondered if it was the proximity, or her new Bond with Pashi that made it difficult for her to block them out. She frowned, twisting a ring on her left hand nervously. Pashi’s Force-signature was a brilliant gold, glowing in the back of her mind like a nearby star. When she breathed in and focused, she could almost hear her bondmate’s flurry of thoughts. Pashi's mind was never at rest, she realized, and it occurred to her that perhaps that's why she liked to keep some strain of relaxing spice around. Kirin didn't really mind, as long as she wasn't using it every day or buying the strongly-addictive kind, and Pashi knew more about spice than most drug dealers. Well, she had been a drug dealer for a time, running her father's business.

Kirin closed her eyes, focused on controlling her breathing. She knew they would be safe with both Master Solos, and she wanted to see the place ripped apart as much as Teekala, but it wasn't easy to throw off years of conditioning. She did not like the place her mind was going at the prospect of returning. The demon-goddess flared to life, vowing that she would die before she returned to any kind of slavery.

Genji gave a soft huff, and Kirin opened her eyes, wondering if he could sense her reaching out to the dark side. The Wookie warbled something she didn't quite catch, and she cocked her head, frowning.

“Can you repeat that?” He did, and she understood, nodding. “Yes. I will use the darkness as my shield. Otherwise I will be more of a liability than an asset, and we don’t have time for anyone to falter. We must all pull our own weight.”

She chuckled when he pointed out that phrasing meant he would be pulling more weight than anyone, and she much less.

“It's just a phrase, you ridiculous creature!” She knew he was joking to lighten her mood, and she let him. There would be plenty of time to worry about facing Arkanis once they were there. “I am going to meditate for a while, perhaps you ought to join me,” she suggested.

The Wookie gave her a mournful low growl, expressing his distaste at that idea, and Kirin regarded him carefully, remembering that she was a master now.

“Practice makes perfect, my friend. There is nothing else to do, anyway. Best clear your thoughts and go into battle well-rested.”

All too soon, they felt the ploddingly slow ship breach atmosphere, and then the feeling of it coming to a stop and landing with a heavy thud that rattled the cargo bay. They waited for a few minutes until the cargo door opened and the sounds of workers and droids filled the air. Suddenly Kirin heard the sound of metal tapping the crate, and then light began to creep into as someone worked the top open with a crowbar.

They were prepared for this, but the timing had to be right. She held her finger to lips, reminding Genji to be silent, and waited until a pair of eyes appeared, blocking the dull gray light of sky above.

“ **_Everything is in order here.”_ ** She said in a practiced monotone.

She felt a flicker of the Force as Master Ben successfully tricked the workers from his crate, and Teekala didn't seem to have difficulty either. Kirin sat back and realized she was trembling. She took a deep, stabilizing gulp of air, recognizing the vague sterile scent of the Library, and closed her eyes, waiting for the majority of energy signatures to clear out of the bay.

MDC-13’S crisply offended voice reached them, haggling over payment, and Kirin nodded to Genji to carefully slide the lid down. The others had emerged as well upon hearing the signal, and Kirn tried not to snicker at Master Rey’s messy hair.

“I’m not sorry about this, but I do hate to waste lives,” MDC-13 said cryptically, before the hiss of a lightweapon and the distinctive charred scent filled the air.

Kirin climbed out of the crate, with Genji's help, to find the droid dragging a dockworker’s body into the cargo hold. Master Rey was giving him a disgusted look.

“Remember where they work, child,” Teekala said grimly. Rey glanced over and frowned slightly.

“I’m just wondering why the droid has a lightsaber,” she explained.

“Oh, that. Yes, the thing is quite obviously insane, but it is on our side,” the Dathomiri said with a shrug. She peered down the ramp into a mostly-empty spaceport, empty crates lining the high, electric fencing on three sides.

There were two shuttles, powered down and covered with a layer of snow, and Kirin couldn't see anyone else working in the yard besides the man Medici had just killed. She reached out with Force, feeling at the fourth side of the yard, where the dark mouth of a mountain cave extended down beyond her range.

“There are two guards just inside the entrance, and the rest of the workers are busy loading the supply train going under the mountain,” she whispered quickly. Ben gave her a quick glance, but if he noticed Kirin's fear, he didn't mention it.

Both masters had their lightweapons in hand, and Genji drew his beside her. Kirin followed behind them, keeping a part of her mind on those left guarding their escape. She eyed the unused transports thoughtfully as she ducked down behind a stack of crates with Rey.

“We should get Medici and Khawapashi over to the transports and have them ready,” she pointed out. “I don’t know how many are left that we can save, but we can't fit very many people in the _Sloth._ ”

Rey glanced around and nodded, thumbing on her communicator. “Medici, Khawapashi, can you break in and get those transports running? If this is anything like Ord Mantell we're gonna need more room than just that awful shuttle.”

“Of course, Lady Solo, my companions and I were just discussing such actions. We cannot hope to make a quick escape in this mudhole of a spaceship,” the droid replied. “Never fear, the Wookie and I have performed many such feats before.”

“Right.” Rey exchanged a look with Kirin. The Twi'lek Knight shrugged and her master frowned. “You know, normally I like droids.”

“I don’t think anyone likes Medici,” Kirin sighed. “But he is useful.”

“Didn't he drug you?”

“Uhhh… Yes, but I was losing control of my powers. I’m kind of glad he was there.”

“Hey, ladies,” Ben Solo’s low whisper carried much further than he probably thought, but thankfully the guards ahead were distracted by the work inside the cave. “Whenever you're ready to proceed, we're waiting.”

“This is your part,” Rey patted Kirin's shoulder encouragingly. She drew a blaster from her hip, taking aim at the guards. “I know you can do it, but just in case, I’m here to cover.”

“Of course.” She took a moment to find the new place in her heart that sparkled with warm, golden light, and put a hand over her chest. Even from this distance, Pashi's presence was a permanent part of her now, and while still strange, feeling her lover's energy, alive and pure on the other side of the planet soothed her.

She reached out for the demon, and let it envelope her like a cloak, swallowing her empathy with fire and rage. She took the memory of suffering, pain and fear that the dark side fed to her easily, and turned on the perpetrators. Weaponless, in silk skirts and wooden sandals and a woven belt of white leather, the Master Knight walked back into the lair of her worst nightmares, and became a nightmare herself.

 

On the bridge of the _Absolution_ , Pashi Baasen gasped as if a bucket of ice had been poured over her head. She was standing beside Thalia at the viewport, having just confirmed that the _Sloth_ , in keeping with its name, had finally landed on Arkanis.

Her fellow apprentice frowned and laid a tentative hand on Pashi’s arm.

“Are you alright?” Thalia asked, not unkindly.

Pashi forced herself to breathe, nodding. There was no way to explain, even if she was comfortable sharing in front of a bridge of the _Absolution’s_ officers, so she grit her teeth and pushed her shock aside. Kirin had explained in detail how she embraced the dark, how she used a Sith technique to drain the life of the slavers and heal the injured, but none of that prepared her for the experience of actually _feeling_ that darkness.

It didn't just come from somewhere else, like a storm cloud Kirin had summoned. It came from within, from the deep depths of her heart, where all the pain and fear and _rage_ of her life in servitude to the Red Hand lived, buried purposefully because it was so incredibly devastating.

She knew, in her head and from Kirin's memories during the Bonding Ritual, how awful her experiences had been, and Pashi herself had spent time with any number of criminals, even before Dralnu. Her father was nominally a factor in the Black Sun Syndicate, although he had never dealt with slavers except in very broad terms, she knew slavery in the galaxy was a reality.

But she had not known just how much of a reality it was for Kirin. Not a past reality, dark memories to be banished by the light of her new life, but an integral part of her current existence. Emotions, instincts, thoughts she would never, _ever_ be free of. A darkness that had shaped her just as much as the light of hope she could never bring herself to let go of.

No wonder Kirin refused even to carry a blaster. She was like a sweet-natured, but heavily-abused hound. Violence was never a part of her nature, but she had found freedom, and an enslaved creature, once freed, would see the world torn to shreds before returning to the hell of slavery.

And that's exactly what she was doing. Walking back into hell to shut the whole place down.

And if anything went wrong, if Master Ben and Master Rey couldn't protect her, if she had to face the choice between death or enslavement… There was no choice. Pashi knew it from her own blessedly brief encounter.

And she understood something else, too, Kirin's change of heart over Ben Solo. Because he had been little more than a slave himself, hadn't he? Leashed to his darkest emotions, abused physically and emotionally by that evil creature Snoke? He had fought his way free because of Rey, and she kept him firmly grounded with her own impossible light.

“I need to talk to Master Rey,” she murmured softly.

“What, now?”

Pashi blinked, realizing she had spoken out loud to a very confused Thalia, and have herself a shake. The other apprentice was staring, and she wondered how long she had been standing there, absorbed in her own thoughts in a very uncharacteristic manner.

“No, not now. Now we wait for their signal.” She glanced at Lt. Kit seated at the information console. “Any success reading for lifeforms yet?”

“The mountain range makes it difficult to get an accurate reading, but given the descriptions from the women who were there…” He pointed out the relevant screens for her. “It seems like they've offloaded quite a few. They're running a skeleton crew of ships, too, only a few transports and some planetary vehicles.”

“Do you think they've been onto us?” Thalia questioned. Pashi chewed her lip, eyes scanning the rest of Kit's screens.

“Probably since Dralnu got away, but you don’t close up shop on a place like this that quickly. Lucky for us there's still plenty of bad guys to decimate.” She rolled her eyes when she realized her humor was lost on the First Order-trained crew. “So they've had some warning and chose to evacuate instead of send reinforcements. That's good for us in the short term. We'll worry about the long term when this mission is over. Got it, kids?”


	42. ...And Light to Meet It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, the feels in this chapter... Is everyone going to die? Obviously not, but who's gonna make it? Maybe everyone?
> 
> The Force ships it *so* hard... And what exactly did Kirin see in that vision that made her go find the Jedi books?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's Force Scream is actually a thing, it's what Anakin does at the end of RotS, that "NOOOO!" that everyone hates. I like to imagine it would be much more moving to see it come from Rey, given the emotional range Daisy Ridley has already shown with her.
> 
> I stole the imagery of the life-draining swords from Skyrim though ;-)
> 
> This chapter is long and ends on a cliffhanger, again, ugh. I hate doing that, but it had to break off somewhere. Only 3 chapters left!

Something wasn’t right. Rey couldn’t explain it, but she peered down the dark tunnel of track where the supply carts disappeared into the mountain, she felt a stirring in her stomach a brief wave of vertigo accompanied by nausea. If she were a woman without the ability to sense the Force, she would have worried she might be pregnant, and she even paused, closing her eyes to feel her own body with the Force.

No. This was something else, something far more sinister. She felt Ben come to stand beside her, finished dispatching the guards Kirin had held in a strong Force grip while Rey disabled all the alarm systems. Rey hated to see him use his callous warrior training for such a grim task, but as he pointed out, they all needed to remain clear-headed and he felt no guilt for the deaths of more slaver scum.

“What is it? Rey?” She frowned and shook her head, reaching out her hand and inviting him to view it from her perspective. His brows furrowed, but eventually he just shrugged. “Well, we expected this place to grim.”

“I know, but… It feels like  _ The Force _ is wrong here. I’ve never felt anything like it, even at the place on Ord Mantell.” She climbed into one of the little carts, taking over the controls while Kirin and Genji followed, Ben taking up the rear. For a moment, she wasn’t sure the little supply system could handle all that weight in one cart, but it chugged to life, clacking on into the tunnel. Lights on the front and back came on automatically in the darkness, and Rey couldn’t find a way to turn them off without taking apart the entire wiring panel.

“They’ll know we’re coming anyway,” Kirin said, arms crossed against the cold in her silks and veils. “Those guards are just simple laborers, but the ones on the inside are Force-sensitives trained by Dralnu. His old apprentices.”

“Hmm,” was all Ben said, but he held his grand saber ready. Rey reached into the holster on her belt and readied hers as well. Genji warbled behind Kirin, and Rey turned and nodded.

“Yes. Your job is to keep clear out escape route, but I’ve no doubt it will be a hazardous job.”

_ “Not as hazardous as you. And the little one is so tiny, surely it is wiser for me to come and battle with you,” _ he put a paw on Kirin’s shoulder and she nearly staggered under the weight.

“Easy, Genji,” she complained, sliding out from under his grip. “I’m only small because it’s a good cover. People underestimate me. Then I steal their souls.”

Rey noticed Ben glance over at that, and they exchanged a short glance.

_ Are you sure she’s okay? _

_ No, of course not. I’m not sure anyone who’s had her life can be ‘okay.’ But I do believe she’s stable, especially with Pashi. _

_ I hope you’re right. _

_ I am. You’ll see. _

Typically arrogant Kylo-Ben was out in full force today, she realized. Killing those guards and wielding his flaming sword into the battle cost him, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Rey laid a hand on his arm, steadying herself against the cart’s jerking movement.

_ Are you still afraid of Kylo taking over? _

He sighed, taking her hand and folding his fingers through hers. Rey said nothing with words, but she left the Bond wide open, sharing both her faith in him and her anxiety over what they were about to face, and they each drew strength from each other.

_ He’s part of you, Ben. An integral part. But I’m here too. _

_ I know. I… In the Trial, on the island, I saw myself in the mirror with my mask. I was horrified at first, but then I remembered - I took it off for you. Now matter what happens, I will always take off that mask for you. _

She smiled, and then turned abruptly as the cart dropped down a few feet and slid to a halt at the dimly-lit end of the tunnel. There were only two workers this time, young humanoid males of a race Rey didn’t recognize, but they both dropped what they were doing and sunk to their knees when she and Kylo lit their weapons.

“The staff of light and the flaming sword!” The younger of the two cried out in wonder. “Please, we beg of you, have mercy. My brother and I are slaves, too.”

“They made us come to make Mama obey,” the older boy said with a pained grimace. “I wish they had just killed us, but here we are.”

Rey hesitated, looking at Kirin, who tilted her head at both boys. Her jewel-bright eyes traveled slowly over both of them, then returned to the younger, shaking her head.

“I am sorry. But I see the deceit in you. You have made a deal to return to our ship with us and pass on information to your masters in the Red Hand.” The elder brother gasped, tears forming at the corners of his eyes, but then younger only schooled his face into an emotionless mask and stood, hands trembling slightly.

“She’s right, Alden,” he said simply, holding a hand out for his brother to stay still. “Let them dispatch me. It will be better than years of you trying to hold me to the light, knowing I cannot and will not ever be fully there.”

Rey felt her heart twist. She looked at Kirin again, and the Twi’lek was giving the younger boy a penetrating stare, until beads of sweat broke out across his face and he cried out in pain. He brother reached for him, but Kirin stopped him with her hand out.

“No. He lies even now. He says words he hopes will manipulate you, Master Rey.”

Rey stared at the boy, no more than fourteen, and her lips trembled. She didn’t want to ask it of him, didn’t want Ben alone to bear the brunt of the psychological damage they took from this place. So she swallowed and stepped forward, and flipped the activation of her light staff to the single, bright red blade. In one swift movement, it was done.

“Rey?” Ben looked at her with his fathomless eyes, and she just pressed her lips together and shook her head. Glancing up, her eyes found the older boy, Alden, caught in Genji’s strong arms, sobbing fiercely. She looked at Kirin.

“He is no danger,” she said softly. “He grieves, but in truth, he does not know when his brother was truly lost.” Rey nodded and strode forward with a confidence she didn’t feel.

“Come on then, we’re not done.”

Ben brought up the rear, turning back to meet Genji’s soft amber eyes. “Keep our escape clear, whatever happens.”

_ “Master… I am afraid,” _ the Wookie admitted, looking down. Ben responded in his rusty imitation of Shryiiwook, a phrase he’d learned from Chewbacca a long time ago.

_ “Pay attention. People are predictable.” _

Genji nodded, helping the boy to sit down in the back of the cart, as Ben turned away and followed the ruby glow of Rey’s lightsaber.  
  


They walked along a brightly-lit, white-washed hallway, with high windows that let in only a dull, gray light. There was a blast door with a touchpad at the end, and it took Rey an agonizing five minutes to short it out. When she did, the lights around them flickered, but the door swung open. Ben had already started to go through first when he felt Kirin’s small hand trembling on his arm.

“No, Master Solo. Allow me.” He thought she looked pale. It was hard to tell with her rose-colored skin, but her lips and eyes were drawn, and her body was trembling everywhere. He turned to Rey, and found his wife suffering the same signs of stress.

“What is it?” Kirin looked ahead grimly, her steps firm even if her body shook, but Rey closed her eyes and reached out, showing him…

There were lifeforms ahead. Several of them, too many to get an accurate count, but less than a hundred, he thought. They felt young, not quite adult, but also not quite…

“What the hell…?” He murmured. He could feel the nausea throwing Rey’s body into turmoil, and he understood. That many youths should feel light, vibrant, aware. But they didn’t. They felt as if they were barely there at all. Were they drugged? Under the sway of some powerful source?

He shook his head. No, even drugged or mind-controlled people had distinct thoughts, distinct signatures. These children were like… He grunted in sudden understanding, and he knew Rey followed his thought, because she looked up with a gasp.

“Oh, Force, the vision! The children…” She shook her head, her hands clutching her lightsaber so tight her knuckles were white. Abruptly she turned and yelled ahead. “Kirin, wait!”

“I know what they are,” Kirin said in a shockingly cold voice. “If you won’t fight them, I will.”

She continued ahead, and they had no choice but to follow her, although Ben let Rey move behind him. Grimly, he swung his greater saber, preparing himself for a fight where he would have to rely on his old instincts. His eyes closed briefly as he felt it seep into him, the old, familiar anger, the disassociation. Rey made a soft sound behind him, and he gently, but firmly, pushed her out of his mind and put up a barrier.

“Ben!” She whispered frantically.

“I can’t right now, Rey. Keep yourself alive, that’s all I ask.” He firmly blocked her further attempts to reach out, and Rey gave up with a frustrated whimper, activating her dual blades and forming up behind him.

It was dark in the hall. He hadn’t expected that, so he didn’t see the first attacker, he only saw Kirin’s swift dodge and brought his blade up instinctively, impaling the gray-eyed, pale-haired child, the face outlined in a the red glow for a sickening moment before he drew his blade back to strike again.

They were everywhere and nowhere, a sea of children with different faces, most humanoid races, with the same, glassy, gray eyes. Ben spun like a shadow himself, parrying the short, darkly-glowing blades with fierce grunts and growls as the fervor of battle washed over him. He sensed Rey at his back, and that was  _ good _ , that was  _ right _ , she was like an extension of himself, he knew every move she would make, and they worked together seamlessly. But he could feel the emotional turmoil in her mind, and he knew it would break through eventually, she would slip up here or there and that would give their enemies an opening to strike at both of them.

So instead of opening his mind, he found hers, and with a grimace, he took his emotionless, dissociative trance and poured it into her. She resisted and he pushed anyway, forcing his way through their link as she had declined to earlier.

_ Idiot woman. Let me help you. _

_ I don’t want your help! _

_ Too bad. _

She was too busy fighting to focus enough to keep him out, and eventually she surrendered, letting herself be absorbed into his trance, though he could feel her deep loathing, disgust and pain and a sense of betrayal that he knew would break his heart if he let it.

_ Ben _ -

_ No. You know this is part of me. You  _ told _ me that. _

_ You took over my mind. _

_ Yes. This isn’t a fair fight, Rey. You have too much light in you. It makes us both weak. _

_ Weak - ? _  He felt her fury and hurt.  _  You said you'd always take the mask off for me! _

_ I will. When this is over, Rey. _

_ You used our Bond to... to control me... _

“ _Yes._ Do you think I want to do this?” He wheeled on her as he felt his final opponent’s life drain away. Kirin was ahead, using her abilities to paralyze and overwhelm her opponents, immersing them in terror and agony until they attacked each other. She turned, feeling the last one die on Ben’s blade, and he could see her face streaked with silent tears. “Look at Kirin. Do you think  _ she _ wants to do this? Let the dark in, this is no place for the order and compassion of the light. Keep clinging to it and it will smother you.”

She froze, tormented eyes going from him to Kirin and then taking in all the bodies around them. Her shoulders shook as she cried openly, but her hands gripped her weapon firmly, and when she looked back at him, there was a hardness to her features and that deep rage he remembered from Starkiller and the Praetorian Guard flickered to life in her eyes. He could tell she was still furious with him for breaking into her mind, but they would have to unpack that later.

Rey nodded at Kirin, grimly stepping over the bodies around them. “Let’s go. There’s more of them ahead.”

“I think they’ve removed all the valuable ones,” Kirin said with a glance to the darkened hall leading off to their left. It took him a moment to realize she was talking about people, slaves who could still be used in their chain of brothels. She nodded towards the right hall. “The Mothers are down this way. I don’t know if any of them can be saved, but the least we can do is put them out of their misery.”

She walked on ahead, and Rey followed her with a final, scathing glance at him. Pain flared in his chest briefly, deep, emotional agony, and his breath caught on it until he could force it back down.

His attention was on the hall ahead, so he didn’t sense the attackers behind him until it was too late. He only had a moment to spin, to shout, cutting down one with a sweep of his blade before two more had leapt on him with the power of the Force lengthening their range, and he hissed in pain as a darkly-glowing blade sliced through the tip of his ear and along his scalp.

Light flared at his side, piercing the opponent leaping at him from his right directly through the chest, but she wasn’t quick enough to stop the downward jab of the small blade straight down his shoulder. Numbness and blinding pain staggered him, and his lightsaber dropped from his nerveless fingers. Another flash of pain hit his knee and he fell, unable to keep himself upright.

He was aware of a furious, agonized shout and the spinning violet-white blades overwhelmed the darkness as Rey stood over him screaming. Now,  _ now _ she reached out to him, siphoning his pain and darkness, ripping away the fresh scabs of emotional wounds in both of them. He might have been hallucinating, but he thought she was actually glowing faintly, radiant in gold-flecked silver light. All the lights, the movements, became a sea of white in his mind, and he realized he was losing consciousness.

_ Rey - I can’t - _

_ No! No, don’t you dare, Ben Soloe, don’t you dare do this, not now, not ever! We can’t, we can’t stop now - _

_ I’m sorry… I pushed you too far… _

_ No, No, Ben… _ She was on her knees beside him, the last thing he remembered was her eyes, wide pupils surrounded by liquid hazel-brown, flickering to yellow as she threw her head back and  _ screamed _ …

Kirin had been making her way back, feeling Master Ben go down and Rey’s sudden slip into the dark side, but she froze at the sound of that scream. It caught in her mind, in her chest, the deep place where the Force dwelled within her, clawing agonizingly at her very soul. Her mind reeled, empathy suddenly dragged into overdrive, like the time with Hux’s spider, but way, way worse, because Rey hadn’t been so far in the dark then, hadn’t been able to access this power…

She didn’t know what she could do, but she had to try. Ben Solo had to live. The galaxy needed them both, she knew this in the depths of her soul, had known when she first met Rey in the park on Mandalore. Running, she skidded to her knees beside them, already reaching out, finding every living soul in the complex, careless as to whether or not they were deserving, because it didn’t matter.

Rey had collapsed on top of him, and Kirin gasped in terror as she realized - Ben’s life force had already run out. Now, the Force Bond was draining Rey’s, the final attempt by the Force itself to keep them both alive. But it wasn’t enough.

She placed one small hand on Rey’s head, and the other on Ben’s shoulder, and the demon-goddess  _ pulled _  , her fiery hands seizing and choking the life out of every living thing it could find and feeding it to them, healing the deep, fatal wounds in Ben’s body. But this wasn’t like Pashi, the blade had pierced his heart, his lungs, part of his spine and there was so much blood… Too much. Even if she could heal everything, he’d lost so much blood, the effort to put it all back together, to make his heart  _ beat _ and his lungs take in air - it was draining her, too.

She didn’t want to do it. It wasn’t fair. But Kirin had never expected life to play fair, and she had had more happiness in the last three months of her life than the previous sixteen years. She breathed in, calming her mind, and sought the source of her own very new Bond.  
  


Rey’s scream had impacted every Force-sensitive in the entire fucking system, probably, Pashi reflected. So for a minute, no one noticed how she remained on her knees, heart thumping in fear, gasping for each breath. Then Thalia was beside her, and obviously she thought Pashi was still suffering from the agony inflicted upon them through the Force, until she grabbed the ex-stormtrooper’s arm in an iron grip and dragged her down. Because she didn’t even have the energy to speak above a whisper, and she wasn’t going to waste it.

“Need… to get down there… now!”

Any other time she might have wanted to kiss the woman, or at least hug her until her bones creaked, because Thalia didn’t ask stupid questions or talk down to her, she just turned to her lieutenant and barked orders.

“Is my TIE fueled, Lt. Kit?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Help me get her up.” If they talked more while they half-dragged, half-carried her to Thalia’s fighter, Pashi wasn’t aware of it. She felt herself being buckled in to the gunner’s position, not that she had the strength to be of any use there, but she was grateful because it meant they were going.

She recognized her father’s hungover voice on the comm, and Chewbacca’s roar.

“The planetary shields are too strong,” Lt. Kit was saying. “Our orbital weapons can’t penetrate it.”

“No, no,” Kayt said. Pashi could imagine him staggering around and collapsing in the co-pilot’s seat next to Poe. She smiled faintly. He’d never forgive her for dying before him. “I’ve done tris bee - er… I’ve done this before. Concentrate on the gate mechanism.”

“Alright, then, gentlemen,” Thalia said clearly. “I’d be much obliged if you’d blast me a hole.”

“You’ll have to be quick if it works,” Dameron said.  _ Shut it, Rebel Man _ , she thought.

“General Dameron, you are not the only person in the galaxy who excels at piloting,” Thalia said in her clipped manner. Pashi smirked.  _ That’s my girl. _

“Get me down there, and you can have Ahsoka’s other saber,” Pashi whispered in the quiet of the tiny TIE. And even quieter: “I won’t need it anyway.”

“We’ll talk about it later,” was all the Knight-Captain would say. Pashi leaned back in her seat, eyes closed as she focused on her girlfriend, her fiance, her other half. Her energy was draining at an alarming rate, despite siphoning from Pashi as well. It was a delicate matter. Too much from either of them, and they would be dying along with their masters.

_ That cannot happen _ . Hearing Kirin’s voice in her head was a new pleasure she wished she had more time to appreciate. She wished she’d had more time to appreciate Kirin.

_ I know, little jewel. I’m coming just… hang on… _

There was a loud crackle of static through the comm, and Poe Dameron cursed, then yelled out to them. “Go now, Thalia!”

“It’s already closing, they’ll never make it-”

Thalia chuckled, and Pashi felt the TIE drop towards atmo rapidly. “Oh, yes we will. Hang on Pashi.”

“I told you, those things move fast,” Dameron was saying to her disbelieving father. Pashi smiled faintly, opening her eyes to wave vaguely at the shape of the two similar freighters.

_ Goodbye, Pop. I love you. _

  
After a quick survey of the compound and feeling carefully with the Force, Thalia crash-landed the TIE as delicately as possible on the roof. Every window and fragile piece of electronics in the building had shattered at Rey's shriek through the Force, giving her easy access to any of a number of entry points. She had to half-carry Pashi, but she was a trained fighter and had worn thirty pounds’ worth of armor everyday while carrying a fifteen-pound rifle. The human-Twi’lek hybrid was sturdy, but she wasn’t that heavy. The problem was more getting her to focus enough to follow simple directions.

“Okay, Pashi, we’re going in through this window, I need you to focus so you don’t cut yourself, alright? Climb in with your feet first and I’ll lower you down.” Pashi grunted, but eventually she managed to follow directions before immediately leaning back against the nearest wall, head lolling loosely on her shoulders. They appeared to be in some kind of hospital chamber, and Thalia had a moment of nauseating dizziness as memories tried to surface. She pushed them back grimly, these women were all dead or close to it. Even if Kirin hadn’t drained what remained of their life force, there wasn’t much there to begin with.

One of these women had been her mother. She pushed that memory down too, hurriedly slinging Pashi’s arm over her shoulders and hauling her up. She could sense the others now, they were just a few halls away.

 

Unfortunately, those halls were protected by blast doors. She cut through them with her lightsaber, but it took time. Thalia blinked, startled, when she realized she had help after the second door. Pashi’s face was a pale, sickly blue, she could barely keep herself standing, but she was determined. She found herself appreciating the other apprentice’s strength of will for the first time. She had always seen Pashi as a sort of shallow-minded charmer, her easy gait and penchant for leather jackets making her look the part of an arrogant smuggler, the type to pick up women in bars and leave before first light.

Pashi caught her staring and smiled slightly. “Thalia. If this… If we don’t make it…” Her fingertips brushed the golden bangle secured on her left head tail. A new addition, Thalia knew, she had never seen the girl wear any other kind of jewelry. Maybe it was a gift from Kirin? “This… goes back to Master Soran… You got that?”

“Of course.  _ If _ you don’t make it, I will ensure your final wishes are carried out,” she said sincerely. Inwardly, she frowned. What was going on here? She could feel Ben and Rey ahead, their Force signature so commingled it was impossible to tell who was even injured, but even she could feel they were in trouble. She recalled once something Rey had said, that the Force Bond would take them both at the same time. But that didn’t explain why  _ Pashi _ looked and felt so drained.

It wasn’t until they pushed through the final door, and her companion raced to where their masters lay, Rey collapsed over Ben’s chest, both breathing only shallowly, that Thalia understood. She could see the energy flowing, the steady stream of violet-gold strands emanating from Kirin’s hands. And she could see the horrifying damage to Ben Solo’s body, the blood pooling on the floor around them.

Lightsaber wounds cauterized, she thought. She could see the dead attackers around them, and she swallowed thickly, recognizing their pale, platinum hair and faded gray eyes as she passed a hand over her own face. She bent down and picked up one of the curiously simple blades from the ground, activating it experimentally and slicing through a patch of exposed flesh she tried very hard not to look too closely at. When the blade came away, the wound bled. More, she could see the faint glow of the tip as it absorbed the blood, sucking it up and shooting power thought her wrist.

She walked over to the others with the blade still active, and touched it the pool of blood, then placed the hilt in Pashi’s open palm.

“Hold this,” she instructed urgently, wrapping the limp blue fingers around it. Something brushed the edges of her mind, a familiar energy, and she recognized Genji, slowly making his way to them, even though Master Ben had instructed him to stay put. He had seen the TIE crash down on the roof, and recognized Pashi and Thalia.

She crossed her legs and sat, waiting. There was nothing else to do.


	43. Lost in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, these space wizards. Angst and fluff and smut galore!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing gorey, but there is a character trapped in a coma, and someone mentioned I should give warnings for mentions of needles and IVs, so... there's your warning.

“I don’t understand,” Pashi whispered hoarsely, her red-rimmed eyes never leaving the slight, unmoving form beneath the pile of blankets. She held one slender hand between both of hers, the other hooked up to a long length of IV tubing that Medici said was simply hydration. Rey laid her hand on the girl's shoulder, trying her best to be supportive. 

“She'll wake up when she's ready, Pashi. I know she will.” She shot a dark look at the Baasens’ weird medical droid, who stopped in the act of walking up to the _Aeonhawk’s_ medical bay and turned around, muttering that he’d forgotten something. “Your life force is shared now. As long as you're alive, anchoring her here, Kirin will feel your Bond pulling her.” She gave the sleeping Knight of Ren a bemused smile. “Even if she doesn't want to.” 

“Is that how it was for you?” She didn't look at Rey when she spoke, but she did reach up to squeeze her hand in thanks for the offer of comfort. Rey took a deep breath, a dozen explanations rattling through her head before she could find the right words. 

“For me, yes. I don’t think it bothered Ben nearly as much,” she reflected. “Or at least, he was intrigued, at first, but I was _terrified_ . All I knew was Kylo Ren the monster. I couldn't fathom why the Force would curse me with _that_.” She shrugged. “But it was no good trying to be apart. We tried, we were both stubborn and angry…” 

Pashi did glance over at her then, frowning slightly. “So you didn't have… You know, the immediate attraction...” She gestured shyly for Rey to follow the intent so she wouldn't have to spell it out awkwardly. Rey gave a very soft laugh. 

“Oh… We did, but, um…” She tried to choose her words carefully, nibbling at a hangnail in thought. “I didn't realize it until one day we had one of our random Force connections and he wasn't wearing a shirt. I don't even know what we talked about. His father, I guess, but… Kriff, he's like a marble sculpture. I was just... shocked. And then...” she blushed slightly, lowering her gaze to peer at Kirin's bed. "Well. It's not easy to lie to yourself for very long. Absolutely exhausting."

Pashi smiled, the barest trace of a snicker escaping, and Rey felt relieved. At least she wasn't completely listless. “I've seen him in the training room. I didn't know ‘snowblind’ was a human skin tone.” She shrugged. “I’m pretty hardwired in the opposite direction so I don’t really get the full effect, but… yeah, I get how _that_ would be distracting.” 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Mistress Pashi, Lady Solo, but it's past the time for a check of Lady Kirin’s vital signs.” They both turned to regard Medici skeptically, Pashi rolling her eyes. 

“Don’t pretend you have manners, Medici, it just makes you sound like even more of a psychopath.” But she got out of the way as the droid grumbled and fussed over Kirin. Rey bit her lip, watching. 

“You know we have state-of-the-art facilities on the _Absolution_ -” she began, but Pashi waved her off, as she had for the last two days, ever since they'd returned from Arkanis. The _Aeonhawk_ was settled in the Knights of Ren’s flagship, and Medici had made full use of the Star Destroyer’s supplies and equipment, but Pashi refused to move her or allow anyone but her family's quirky droid to treat her. 

“Look, Master,” she said firmly, turning her dark eyes on Rey's. “I know you guys don’t trust Medici. _No one_ trusts Medici. But for something like this? I’d rather have the droid I've known my entire life, who’s saved my father's life and mine, than some Imperial holdover I have no track record on. Okay?” 

Her voice was brittle, despite the stubborn set of her shoulders, and Rey decided she had a point. There was really no reason to believe the First Order’s droids or the ship’s single human doctor would be able to treat her any better. Technically, there wasn't anything physically wrong with Kirin, as Medici confirmed, her vital signs were normal, she had normal sleeping brain activity… She was just exhausted and dehydrated, both easily-remedied issues, but after three days, Kirin should be awake. Rey knew she herself would be just as stubborn if it were Ben, and she couldn't fault Pashi for trying to control everything she possibly could in an otherwise baffling and emotionally-traumatizing situation. 

“Alright, Pashi. I'll make sure no one bothers you,” she sighed, knowing the girl would remain at her partner's side, napping here and there, drinking caf and probably taking some kind of illicit stimulant. If Rey couldn't get her to budge, she doubted anyone else could. At least she knew Medici would be monitoring her as well. As weird as he was, the droid seemed to have a surprisingly wide range of knowledge about the Force, and he immediately intuited that his patient's well-being would be directly affected by her bondmate’s. 

She was striding back through the ship to another medical bay, and another frustrating patient, when Genji stopped her, and she had to make a detour to the bridge and once again order Thalia to go rest in her quarters. 

“Captain Peavey is perfectly capable of running the bridge without you for _one_ rotation. Please, get some rest. I won't ask again.” With Genji there, the threat was inherent - and as soon as the Knight-Captain had left them, she ordered the Wookie to go guard her door for at least eight hours. 

“Keep that woman off the bridge for a full shift,” she ordered a solemn-faced Peavey when he appeared. “You are supposed to work _equal_ shifts. I don’t care what she says, while you are on shift, you are the ranking captain. Is that clear? To everyone?” 

“Of course, Lady Solo.” She almost snapped at him for using the title, no matter how she tried to avoid it, Poe Dameron seemed to have branded her for life, but then the grizzled veteran gave her a respectful salute and she let it go. 

She could hear him cursing all the way to the end of the hallway, and braced herself for the upcoming confrontation. Kirin's Force Healing had done a _lot_ , repairing the hole in his heart and lungs, weaving arteries and bones and deep tissue wounds, but the strike was truly awful, and it was too much to hope for everything to come back together perfectly. He was lucky he didn't need a ventilator or a pacemaker, but of course, that wasn't enough for Ben Solo. The nerve damage to his right arm was extensive, and he had to have surgical implants to translate movements from his brain to his arm and hand, which of course required physical therapy. And Ben being Ben, he blamed all of this on himself, on him not being good enough somehow, allowing himself to be distracted, and somehow he even managed to blame himself for Kirin's strange sleep. _What is it with Force users? We just don’t know when to let go._  

Rey stood inside the small training room, watching Ben struggle through simple forms with his green blade, until he flung the saber in frustration and just beat the targets with his hands until his knuckles bled. 

_Alright, that’s enough._

_Rey…_  

He dropped to his knees as she entered the room, and she waved her hand, locking the door behind her. 

“On your knees already?” She gasped and closed her eyes for a moment when he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head against her stomach and holding onto her fiercely. Rey couldn't touch him enough, caressing his face with both hands and smoothing her fingers through his hair. "Good gods, Ben. I  _need_ you." 

“I’m sorry,” his voice was muffled, but she felt the sob that followed, shuddering through his body. Rey was in no mood to comfort or indulge his self-hatred any longer. Two days was enough. She stepped back, eying him coldly. 

“For what, exactly? What is Kylo Ren ever sorry for?” He stared at her, his eyes wide and injured. She raised her eyebrows. “Well?” 

“ _Please._ Don’t -” 

“Don’t what? Don’t bring up how you broke into my mind and forced me to embrace the dark side? How you told me that I -” She swallowed back tears, giving herself a firm shake. “That I make you weak?” 

“I didn't mean… You know I don’t think that. Rey, you're the one who told me Kylo is a part of me…” 

“Is this my fault then? Is that why you won't talk to me? You won't sleep with me, you've shut me out of the Bond, you barely even touch me?” She was yelling now, yelling and crying, and she suddenly found herself on her knees, sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe. “I almost lost you. I almost lost you, and I _felt_ it, I felt your half of us _die_ , and you don’t know…” she gasped, and closed her eyes, gathering strength to continue. “I felt you die and _I lost my fucking mind!_ I lost my _light_. I was _gone_. And I still don’t feel right. It’s like my soul was ripped apart and stitched back together but it feels all wrong... Kirin won't wake up, Pashi won't even let us treat her here, Thalia keeps working double shifts... I’m trying so hard to make sense of everything, but I need you, I need to _feel_ you.” 

He crawled to her, pulling her into his lap, and she twined her arms around his neck, sobbing against his bare chest. And then he heaved a great sigh and opened his mind to her, grunting in shock as she burrowed in hungrily, the anguish and imbalance inside of her sucking out his light like a leech. Gently, he extracted the overabundance of darkness she had been laboring under for the last three days, letting it settle within him where it rightfully belonged. They clung to each other for hours, not speaking, just a sigh here and there, as their souls instinctively re-established the scales between them.

"I can't do this alone, I’m not... The Knights need a  _leader_ ," she sniffed back tears that threatened to break again. "I can't be who they need me to be. Not alone."

"I know." He sat up, fixing her with his intense, probing stare. He lifted his hand, holding her cheek, thumbing away a singe traitorous tear. He leaned down, pressing his face against her neck to hide his own tears. "I know, Rey. I’m here now." 

She didn't resist when his lips pressed against her neck, gently at first, but with growing urgency, until he nipped particularly hard at her shoulder and elicited a hungry moan from her lips. Rey let her head fall to the side, giving him full access as he continued to drag his lips lower, gently lifting her sleeveless tunic over her head, followed a little later by her thin undershirt and wrap. Every movement was slow, a gentle kindling of the heat between them, and he refused to let her touch anything but his hair and the tips of his ears that she liked to scrape her nails over. 

“Oh, _Ben_ ,” she gasped when he had carefully removed every piece of her clothing and returned to delve between her legs with his tongue. Rey could feel his brief smile against her sensitive flesh. 

“I’m Ben again?” 

“Yes,” she closed her eyes as his tongue worked its magic, relaxing into his gentle, easy caresses. “I’m sorry I got so angry. I shouldn't have tried to use that against you.” 

“Shhh, you don’t need to apologize to me.” He grasped her by the hips and pulled, dragging her away from the wall she was sitting against so he could move his sucking, teasing tongue to her nipple. She tried to redirect him back between her legs, tugging his hair with little insistent moans, but he just smiled and switched his mouth to her other breast. “Patience. Let me worship you.” 

With his lips and tongue and long, thick fingers, he brought her to climax more times than she could count, but he stubbornly refused to pursue his own pleasure, even when she could clearly feel his painfully aching length through the Bond.

"Are you still determined to punish yourself?" She demanded. "I worship you, too, you know. I will kneel at your shrine with pleasure if you let me."

He paused, looking up from where he knelt, and there was a spark in his eyes that made her breath catch and her chest fill with warmth. Something excited, clever and heated, a look that was very much  _Ben_ , and oh, how overjoyed she was to see it back. She raised her eyebrows, clearly offering, but he smiled his little secret smile that promised to ruin her, and went back to lazily swirling his tongue through her wet heat. 

“Later,” he promised eventually, whispering in her ear while he held her naked body in his lap, his fingers still buried inside of her. “Later I'll tie you to the bed all the way, bind up your eyes and your mouth and fuck every part of you until neither of us can breathe.” 

“How much later?” She asked breathlessly. Just the promise of it was enough to make her squeeze around his fingers, sucking in a gasp as his wet thumb, coated in her slick, slowly massaged her overused flesh. It was raw, but it felt so fucking good, she didn't really want him to stop, although she didn't think her body had the energy left to crest that wave _again_. 

“You'll see,” he murmured in his softest, most seductive purr, leaving her moaning and jerking her hips into his hand. “Not too soon, I don’t think. You need time to recuperate.” 

She buried her face in his shoulder, voice too hoarse now to make much of a cry, and afterwards she trembled with exhaustion. 

“Is that arm of yours capable of carrying me to bed?” 

He smirked, the old Solo charm slipping back into his demeanor. “We’ll just have to see, Lady Solo.” 

“I _really_ hate that, you know,” she grumbled. 

“Would you rather be Princess Rey Organa-Solo of Alderaan? Because _technically_ -” 

“Alright, alright. I give up. Lady Solo it is.” He gathered her up in her cloak, leaving her clothes scattered about for a cleaning droid to pick up, and set out towards the less-trafficked route to their quarters. Rey gave a sudden, thoughtful chuckle as they were boarding the lift. 

“What?” 

“Your father would have liked it. ‘Lady Solo.’” Ben frowned, but he did nod in agreement. Rey rolled her eyes. “I know he wasn't the greatest dad. But he liked me, and I liked him.” 

“Everyone likes you.”

 

Alone in the _Aeonhawk’s_ medbay, Pashi palmed the weird little blood-draining darksaber from the pocket she had hidden it in, and slashed the blade across her palm, over the scar of their Force Bond. She laid the handle in Kirin's hand, closing her fingers around it. 

 _Please, Kirin. Wherever you are. I’m losing my mind without you._  

When the blade had finished supping on her wound, she stowed it away and wrapped a torn bit of cloth around her hand. Then she took a simple platinum ring from another pocket, freeing it from the fine silver chain holding it, and slipped it over Kirin's only unadorned finger on her left hand. 

“This is the ring my Uncle Vasto gave Aunt Jade. I got it from her after she asked about the bangle.” She lifted Kirin's hand and placed a kiss over the ring. “You have small hands like her. I was worried it wouldn't fit, but it's perfect. Please come back, my precious jewel. I don’t… I can't live like this. I know wherever you are, you're hurting, I can feel it, just… If you can't get out and you want it to end… I can make it happen. If I die you die, so…” She pressed the delicate hand between both of hers and leaned forward to hold it to her forehead. “If you can reach me at all… Just give me a sign. I won't leave you in pain like this.”

 

Kayt Baasen watched his daughter put Jade Penthe’s wedding ring on her fiancee’s finger, and stopped just out of sight to listen to her impassioned speech. His heart ached, and his mind raced. Pashi’s father wasn't _old_ old, he was of average middle age for a human, but he had spent some time travelling the galaxy. He knew a _lot_ of people, but there were very few he could think of who could help his daughter. Ahsoka Tano was dead, they'd felt her merge with the Force on Taris, and yet… If she had truly merged with the Force as Kylo-Ben insisted… Could you summon a Force Ghost somehow? And would she even answer him?

It couldn't hurt to try. But he didn't want to go it alone. Luckily, he had a close friend he knew he could trust to help him out, and she was on this giant floating round table with him.

Khawapashi listened quietly as Kayt laid out his troubles, the things he had overheard his daughter saying, and what he proposed to do about it. And then she bid him to close his eyes and begin, because the Wookie was never one to wait after the plan was made and agreed to. They were more successful than Kayt had expected, but Ashoka's words weren't very comforting. 

"You cannot do anything but be there for your daughter. Lend her your strength." He nodded, sighing sadly, but the Force Ghost wasn't done. "Tell Pashi to remember that Kirin found her dreams all the way across the galaxy before they were even bonded. Dreamwalking is one of her pecular gifts, but... the Force Bond allows some limited borrowing of powers."

"Pashi can find her dreams?" He hazarded. Ahsoka’s expression was unreadable, but she didn't disabuse him of the idea. It certainly seemed worth trying. "I'll tell her. I have some dream dust-"

 _"Really, Kayt? Drugs?"_ Khawapashi grumbled in disapproval, but surprisingly, Ahsoka only looked thoughtful.

"It might help. It has to be a deep sleep, and Pashi is an energetic and anxious child," she pointed out. Kayt gave the Wookie a smirk, and she sighed and shook her head, layers of beads and chains clinking softly with the movement.

 _"If it doesn't work, I will blame you for supporting this idea,_ " she huffed at Ahsoka. The Ghost smiled and began to fade away. 

"You are free to blame whoever you want," she acknowledged. "Better me than him."


	44. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, man. I really wanted to post these last two chapters together, but only managed to get one in a satisfactory stage of editing.
> 
> There is a LOT going on here, I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Also... Sabine and Ezra!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to use the word younglings, LF, you can't make me goddammit!!

"Hey, kid,” Poe Dameron smiled, but there was a drawn look to his face, his normally charming demeanor subdued. He spoke softly, and it was like fingernails scraping over slate in Pashi's mind. She was so, _so_ goddamned tired of people walking on eggshells around her, like she was the one sleeping and they were afraid to wake her. 

She just stared at the general through her half-open door, not bothering to invite him in. Right now, she didn't want _anyone_ in her quarters, not until she'd cleaned up the mess she'd made of the front room and maybe did some fucking laundry. But it was so hard to care, she had barely managed to get to her feet and answer the door. 

“Look, I… uh… I've got to get back to the Resistance, try to figure out how they let Hux escape.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, and she caught a glimpse of the ring he wore on a chain around his neck. His mother's ring, Rey had told her once privately. She wondered if he was still dating Lt. Kit, and if the ex-Stormtrooper would be leaving with him. But she couldn't find the energy to ask, so she just opened the door a little more and slipped out into the hallway, closing it firmly behind her. 

“So you came to say goodbye?” She folded her arms and leaned against the door. Force, she was fucking tired. 

“Uh, yeah, I… Listen, if you ever need anything, if I can help you out some way… I still feel responsible for what happened to you-” He stopped as she very pointedly rolled her eyes. 

“Get over yourself, Dameron. I gave you my forgiveness a long time ago, but I can't help you forgive yourself.” His expression was injured, and Pashi knew she was being cold, cruel even. She took a deep breath, and held out her hand. “I’m sorry. Let's not part on bad terms, okay? I’m a fucking wreck already.” 

He grasped her arm at the elbow, firmly, and she returned the gesture, grateful he didn't try to force a hug. Normally, Pashi was the kind of person who liked hugs, she had been raised by an affectionate family, and her Aunt Pashi was always happy to cuddle and pet her adopted niece. Old Vasto was kind of standoffish, of course, but he’d never outwardly objected when she hugged or kissed him goodbye. 

Thinking of her family made her eyes start to water again, and she immediately let go of Poe and turned to the door, to retreat back into the darkness with her comatose lover. 

“Good luck, Rebel Man. Keep… fighting the good fight, or whatever it is you do.” 

“Yeah. Okay. May the-” he stopped as her eyes flashed back to him, rubbing his neck again. “Just take care of yourself, alright, Pashi?” 

“I'll try,” she replied noncommittally, quickly retreating back into her and Kirin's quarters. She had moved her from the _Aeonhawk,_ hoping the change in scenery or maybe the relative safety of their mostly empty residential level would make a difference. That's the reason she gave, anyway. In actuality, she just didn't want to die in a fucking medbay. 

She navigated around the furniture she had trashed with her lightsaber and went to the table in the corner, where a small, ornate chest with mother-of-pearl loth-cats and multiple tiny drawers sat untouched by her wake of destruction. Medici told her it was the correct dose, but she knew the droid would intuit her intentions, so she pilfered and extra three grams from one of his ‘pharmaceutical compartments.’ 

She also had the dream dust her father had given her, tucked away under her breast band. She removed both pouches and regarded them carefully. The Black Sky spice had to be diluted and liquified in alcohol to be injected into an IV, and that took time. She could set it up and let it distill while she tried the dream dust. 

She took both with her into the bedroom and sat beside Kirin's thin, still body. Her skin was always cool, no matter how many blankets Pashi piled on top of her. She settled in with her back against Kirin's, explaining the plan. 

She didn't bother with the tears streaking down her face. She hardly felt like she had the energy to cry anymore, but her tears fell in silent proof against that. The dream dust had a surprisingly sweet flavor, unlike most drugs, and she was familiar with its effects. An average user could expect a solid eight hours of incredibly vivid, lucid dreaming. That in itself made it dangerously addictive, but Pashi had always followed Kayt Baasen’s advice on mind-altering substances. _“Never use the same thing twice in a row. Smoke some spice, have a few drinks, do some skooma the next week.”_  

It was probably all kinds of wrong in the world of normal people, like sheltered Core-dwellers, for a father to give his sixteen-year-old kid advice on drugs, let alone _provide_ some of the substances in question. Those people could fuck right off. She was willing to bet that comparatively, Kayt Baasen was an excellent father in all other measures. She had never been neglected, or felt unloved. Pashi wasn't stupid, she knew her parents hadn't been expecting their untraditional union to result in a pregnancy - hell, Wastrel didn't even think it was _possible_ until she asked around and did some research. But they each cared for her in their own way, and she knew they had sacrificed a lot to give her a semi-stable childhood. 

She closed her eyes as the dust began to set in and the dark bedroom spun with bright corners around her. She just wanted to see her mother again, one last time. Then she would do it, put them both out of their misery. Maybe there was an afterlife of some kind. Maybe they'd be together, come back as Force Ghosts or something.

  


“Commandant! I apologize for the late hour, but we have urgent news.” 

Ceres Sloane was not a heavy sleeper. She woke at the first knock, and had been wide awake by the time she opened the door on the young ensign. 

“What news?” 

In answer, he thrust a datapad into her hands. It showed a gaunt, red-haired man that might have been Armitage Hux at some point, but was now something else entirely. Standing at his back was an army, but it was the strangest army she'd ever seen. Children, youth of various humanoid races, all in the same white robes with black belts, an eerie resemblance to the Jedi style of dress. Several, the ones closest to Hux, wielded sickeningly-black blades that seemed to glow with darkness but also suck out all the light around them. 

She watched as the army marched down a paved road, somewhere vaguely familiar and fully-advanced, with towering skyscrapers in the distance. The street was empty but for one, sniveling, terrified vagrant who hadn't been able to find shelter in any of the clearly locked up buildings. Hux’s throat creaked like a piece of rotten wood, and one of the children reached a hand out. 

Sloane gasped. The weight of it hit her immediately, but she watched the video to its end, where Hux’s army ripped apart the housing sector, silently, _efficiently_ murdering every adult over the age of seventeen. When they had the surviving young people and the single, terrified vagrant rounded up into the center of town, Hux climbed up on a piece of rubble to address them. 

He spoke of freedom, of purging the sickness of selfishness and ownership from the galaxy, claiming that all sentient peoples were equal, and had equal right to resources. The Commandant of the First Order tasted bile in her throat as the holovid zoomed in at the last moment, giving a clear shot of Armitage Hux, or whatever was left of him. 

“The _eyes_ , Commandant,” the young ensign said with a faint tremor in his voice. “What's wrong with him? And… the _young ones_ …” 

“Who else has seen this?” She spoke quickly, giving him a task to ground him and stop him from focusing on the horrifying images. 

“Only Commander Jarrel and myself, sir. He insisted I bring it to you myself.” She nodded, handing the datapad back. “The commander was right. Wait here while I dress.” 

She had never put on her uniform so quickly, but she emerged into the hallway without a single button or curl of hair out of line. A thousand tasks listed in her mind, first among them to contact the Knights of Ren and Commander Tico of the Resistance. She composed the messages she would send carefully in her mind, and considered what information could be gathered from the video. 

Keeping her mind busy helped, it was a long-term coping strategy that had never failed her, but every now and then she would see the face of her old compatriot, ginger hair stringy and long, his pale face even more white and gaunt. And his black, black eyes, like the darkness of empty space had been spilled into them, bleeding out until there was no trace of white sclerae. Black, but glowing somehow, like the blades of the Sith children in his army. 

But what really made her ill were the black lines, forking across his face like a spiderweb of veins, the skin cracked in places like parched dirt, leaking more of that shocking black, black light.

  


“You realize we have _no way_ of verifying _any_ of this, right?” Finn grumbled. “I mean, look, we know Sabine is trustworthy, but she's not technically on our side, so-” 

“I beg your pardon, Captain Tico, but the decision is not up to you,” Commander D’acy said calmly. “And we have been in the practice of sharing information with a great many allies who are not _technically_ a part of our organization. If I recall, you've just recently returned from a joint mission to Tatooine with the First Order envoy.” 

“Yeah, I know, but Lt. Mitaka doesn't have the Force. You weren't there, you haven't seen what the Force can do, and we have _no one_ here who can stop him if he decides to… you know… switch sides or something!” He realized too late his words were coming from, and Finn slumped back into his chair without further argument as Connix and D’acy exchanged glances. 

“Finn. Maybe you should go keep Rose updated on what's going on,” Connix hazarded. He leapt up from the table with more force than necessary, knocking his chair back. After some muttered curses and visible deep breaths, he fixed the furniture and exited the room, leaving the two Resistance officers alone with Sabine Wren and her companion. 

“Does he have something against the Force?” Ezra questioned, staring after Finn. Sabine gave a noncommittal shrug. 

“Rey was his friend, and she left the Resistance to be with Kylo Ren. It’s far more complicated than that, she had her reasons, but Finn’s an ex-Stormtrooper, and he’s never really gotten over the betrayal,” Connix explained. “And he had some altercations with a slaver and a Knight of Ren recently that's made him jumpy. _And_ his wife is on bed rest until the baby comes, so he's-” 

“A little stressed?” Sabine guessed. “It’s alright, I know he's not a bad guy. But Ezra’s not lying about the threat, I was there when Thrawn’s whole fleet disappeared. I don’t know about the other, but-” 

The door to the conference room opened again and D’acy and Connix rose, Sabine and Ezra scrambling to their feet while turning to see the newcomer. Despite how serious he’d been for this entire meeting, Sabine was relieved to see Ezra Bridger’s sudden, swiftly suppressed smile. 

The dark-haired, blue-eyed man was around her age, and he could have passed for Ezra’s older brother if it weren't for the air of darkness that swirled off of him. He halted upon sight of Ezra, a startled, confused look on his expressive face. 

“You… how…?” He took a step back as Ezra held out his hand in greeting, eyes still wide, and the returned Jedi smiled. 

“Oh, you know. Mystical Jedi things,” he said with a shrug. “I was trapped, not dead. But my prisoner escaped, so I had to follow.” 

“Your prisoner… How'd he do it? You said he didn't have the Force!” Soran shook his head as if to clear it. “Dammit, why can't you people just execute your criminals when you have the chance?”

Ezra frowned at that, but pushed on anyway, still offering his hand for Soran to shake, which he finally did. And they both grunted in surprise when the contact sparked between them, Soran immediately shaking his hand as if he felt real pain from it. 

“I thought it would be gone,” the older man said irritably. Ezra shrugged. 

“Ah, no. Force Bonds are extremely difficult to break. I had one before with an enemy, and the effort to break it did a number on us both.” He frowned at Soran. “You're a Knight of Ren, aren't you?” 

“Yeah. I mean, I took the oath so…” He gave a pained smile. “I’m not ready to join the Ben Solo fan club, but Rey's alright, and my cousins are there, so… Might as well be a part of something.” 

“Good,” Ezra smiled. “I’m looking forward to meeting them and working together in the future. Sit with us, Soran. We were talking about Thrawn before Captain Tico left us.” 

“Wait. _Thrawn?_ Grand Admiral Thrawn? _That’s_ who your prisoner was? Fuck me.” He dropped heavily into a chair Ezra casually pulled out with a wave of his hand. Sabine snorted at the unnecessary display, but her eyes moved between the two men, noting the awkward pauses, subtle shifts in movement followed by blank stares at the wall, and frowned. 

“Alright, stop.” Ezra looked at her with a startled expression, while Soran rolled his eyes. Sabine crossed her arms, glancing at the two Resistance officers who were quite clearly baffled by the whole situation. “If you’re going to broadcast on a private channel, maybe you should go get a room.” She smiled faintly at Kaydel Connix quickly hidden snicker, and Soran’s slow, appraising stare. 

“Did you tell your girlfriend _everything_?” He grumbled, irritably. 

“I am the sovereign ruler of Mandalore. It’s not an easy position to maintain.” She pulled the Darksaber from her belt and powered it on, giving everyone a quick glimpse before putting it away. “I’m not a Jedi, or a Knight or a Force sensitive. But I was trained by one, and spent a _lot_ of time being left out of things because destiny chose to bestow me with other talents. Quick wits and a sharp tongue, to name a few.” 

“The most dangerous ones,” Ezra quipped. He muffled a curse as her boot heel came down on his instep. “Fine, fine. We keep the telepathy to a minimum,” he sighed, exchanging a glance at Soran. Something seemed to strike him, and he frowned at the darkly brooding man across from him. 

“How did you… You called Sabine my ‘girlfriend?’” He stared. Soran raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. 

“Maybe you should practice your shielding, _Jedi.”_ He said, very pointedly not making eye contact with Sabine, who coughed and rolled her eyes to the ceiling, trying to figure out how to corral all these idiots into a functioning strategy meeting. 

“How’s that cousin of yours doing these days?” Ezra growled. He leaned forwards slightly, hands up on the table, and whispered. “Does she know you spent the night with her girlfriend in a brothel?” 

“That’s quite enough, gentlemen!” Commander D’acy finally snapped. “Save your personal issues for outside the strategy discussions, please.” 

Sabine sighed in relief, and the commander gave her a slightly sympathetic smile. Well, at least she had one ally to help her manage these Force-wielding man-children. She’d half expected the lightsabers to come out after Ezra’s last barb, at least to compare lengths. _Who has the most impressive lightsaber here? Oh, right. I do._  

She gave Ezra a nudge with her elbow. “Well? Thrawn?” 

“Right, so he only has two Star Destroyers, but they won’t be able to communicate with any First Order models, since all the coding and comm channels are completely out of date. Maybe some of the older ones, like the _Finalizer_ or the _Revenant_ , but-” He shrugged slightly. “It won’t be long before he manages to make contact with the remnants of the First Order, probably even try to assume command.” 

“To what end, Master Bridger?” Lt. Connix asked quietly. “We’re already in negotiations with Commandant Sloane to establish a Council of Governors and a High Court. Even the Resistance holdouts are starting to come around. Do you think he’ll want to start a war all over again?” 

Ezra took a deep breath, considering. Sabine could tell it wasn’t something he thought about much before, but he hadn’t expected the New Republic to have been destroyed by the First Order, or Admiral Holdo’s suicide attack that decimated the Order’s fleet. From what he could tell, current leadership actually seemed competent on both sides, but there was one thing he knew the Chiss could never tolerate. 

“I don’t know that he would, actually. I imagine right now he’s biding his time, observing the current state of the galaxy and analyzing the weak points in both factions.” He glanced at Sabine, who nodded for him to continue. “There is one thing, though. Admiral Thrawn _hates_ the Force. It’s wild, chaotic and unpredictable. He doesn’t believe it has any place in the government of the galaxy, or the military.” 

“Neither did Kylo - er, Ben Solo. That’s why he left the First Order to create the Knights of Ren,” D’acy pointed out. Ezra nodded, but he was still frowning. 

“I’m not sure what he will make of that. Honestly, I’m not sure what _I_ make of that. But my intention is to go and meet with them before I form any opinions. We simply came to warn you, and to collect Soran and his prisoner.” 

“Collect? I’m not a bounty for you to cash in-” Again there was a storm of glares and a flare of energy between the two men, and eventually, Soran lowered his head. “Alright, fine. I can’t say it won’t ease my mind having both of us to pin him down if he tries anything.” 

“Ahh, on that note… I think we’ve said everything that needs to be said. Unless you ladies have anymore questions?” 

“Yeah,” said Connix with a hint of sarcasm. “What the hell are we gonna do if Grand Admiral Thrawn decides he _does_ want to start a war?”

  
  


_There was light everywhere, but somehow it was still dark around them. Pashi could see and feel nothing else, not even whatever firmament was beneath her feet. Only Kirin, cross-legged and facing away from her, her back straight but relaxed in a meditation pose._  

 _She walked closer, reaching out for her lover’s shoulder, but just as she was an inch from touching her shoulder, the image disappeared like evaporated steam. A sound, like faint sobbing came from behind her, and she turned, seeing a small Twi’lek child crouched over the body of a sleazy-looking human. Blood pooled at his nose and ears, and his dead black eyes stared straight above._  

 _“I didn’t mean to, Mum, I really didn’t!”_  

 _“Quiet!”_  

_Pashi took a few steps, but the scene faded. Others came and went, pieces of Kirin’s life, some she knew, some she didn’t. Some made her flush and ache with longing. Others brought tears, but she carried on, chasing every image, every scene, never quite fast enough to catch even the faintest touch._

_"Be still, child. This man paid a lot of money to spend time with you, so be a good girl and you'll finally have a little money to spend at the market. You can get any sweet you want. Or a pretty bracelet, wouldn't that be nice?"_

_"Please... please, it hurts, stop!"_

" _Kirin, be a dear and calm her down, will you?"_

_A girl Mela's age, sobbing and naked as Kirin draped her own robe over her and pulled her into her arms. Teekala in the doorway, looking her over critically. "How bad?"_

_On an on, it went, until Pashi felt herself slowly being drawn back to wakefulness, reaching out desperatelh at the last ohantom images._

_**“Kirin!”** She dropped to her knees, exhausted and sobbing. **“Kirin, please… PLEASE!”**_

  


The bedroom looked exactly as she’d left it, including the little pouch of spice that would put them both into a dreamless sleep forever. She clutched it in her hand and she laid down on the bed, wrapping her arms around her fiancee’s delicate body and burying her face in the musky, tropical scent of her skin.

 “Tomorrow,” she promised. “I need to… finish some things. Tie up loose ends.” She kissed the smooth, cool cheek. “I promise, I’ll make it stop.” 

Tears continued to leak in slow drops from her eyes as she fell into a real, dreamless sleep, not induced by drugs or in search of a mystic goal. She woke up ten hours later, and made a checklist. First, she showered and then gently bathed Kirin with the softest washcloth she could find.

She went to the residential dining room, and ate breakfast with Genji as had become their custom since Arkanis. If the Wookie noticed she was quieter than usual, or spoke with a morose, distracted tone, he didn’t mention it. He probably thought she was just in shock and mourning, as they all did. Before they separated, she hugged him tightly and pressed a folded piece of fine writing paper into his large paw, making him promise not to read it until the next morning. 

Genji was reluctant to agree, trying to make her take it back and saying he wasn’t good at patience, but she begged until he finally relented to be the sole guardian of her and Kirin’s final arrangements. He didn’t know that’s what it was, and Pashi knew it wasn’t fair to do this to him, but she had to be sure it was with someone safe, and Genji was the only person she knew who would keep a promise even if he really didn’t want to give it. 

Then she went to visit her Aunt Pashi, and the tiny baby she was keeping watch over. Pashi peered down at the little girl, bundled in warm blankets against the cold of the Star Destroyer in a little woven cot Genji had made for her. Khawapashi had another charge as well, the solemn-faced Mela Sana, now sleeping on a cot in the opposite corner. 

The baby cooed, making happy little noises as Pashi wiggled her fingers over her tiny face, and the other child stirred, slipping from her cot to come over and hug her tightly around the waist. 

“Please don’t go,” the Togruta said softly, her little hands latched onto to Pashi’s belt loops. She looked down to see tears in the light violet eyes. “Teekala left us, and now you’re going to leave us too. I can feel it.” She glared, and it broke Pashi’s heart. She looked away, trying to change the subject. As soon as word had come that the baby’s mother sacrificed her life force to save the rest of the Knights on Arkanis, Mela had declared that the child was _hers_ , her baby sister that she would take care of. Of course, she couldn’t just be left without supervision, there was a lot of work in caring for a baby that Mela needed to learn, but the motherly old Wookie was happy to teach her. 

“Have you picked out a name for her yet? Or is it just ‘Baby Sana’ forever?” 

“I was thinking maybe Kira,” she said, quickly distracted by the talk of names. Mela had taken the task very seriously, and no one had any right to gainsay her. “Because of… you know… Kirin and Teekala. Ki-Ra. Or Lesoka, maybe. After Ahsoka Tano, the Togruta Jedi and Rebellion hero, and Princess Leia, cause she was a slave once, too. I don’t know, what do you think?” 

“Why not do all three?” Pashi replied with a gentle smile as she lifted the infant from her crib and rocked her small body gently in her arms. “Kira Lesoka Sana.” 

Kira cooed happily, clutching one of Pashi’s fingers, and that was that. She gave Kira a kiss on her tiny, scrunched forehead, and handed her back to Mela. “You’re going to be a great big sister, Mela. Make sure you study hard with Master Rey so you can teach Kira everything she needs to know.” 

The little Togruta beamed with happiness, cradling the baby more effortlessly than Pashi could ever manage. “I will, I promise.” 

Pashi turned to go, and found her passage blocked by the blonde-furred, solid body of her aunt. Her many necklaces dangled against Pashi’s forehead as she was wrapped up in long, soft arms. The Wookie gave a sad whine, reaching with one knuckle to tilt her head up so she could peer into Pashi’s face. 

This was the test she had feared when she came here, but she couldn’t go away without giving Mela and Kira the chance to say goodbye. She smiled up at her kindly aunt. 

“Did you hear? We decided on Kira Lesoka Sana.” 

 _“Many names for such a small child_ ,” the Wookie observed, giving Mela and the baby a warm glance. 

“She’ll grow into them. Her mother was a strong woman. Kira will be stronger, I’m sure,” she tried to give one of her normal, arrogant grins, but she could feel it fall slightly flat, and Khawapshi didn’t miss it. 

 _“My sweet child. Daughter-of-my-heart. I have prayed to the Force for answers, but it seems determined to be cruel these days.”_ She wrapped Pashi in another tight hug. _“What of the dream dust?”_  

Pashi glanced at Mela, and answered in her limited Shryiiwook. _“I found her, but I couldn’t bring her back. She’s trapped in her memories, and most of them aren’t very nice. I can feel her pain as if it were my own, and her darkness drains the light from me day after day.”_  

 _“I fear for your father’s reaction,”_ Khawapashi spoke softly as she knelt and let Pashi wrap her arms around the thick, furry neck as she used to when she was a child. Her tears fell, unmentioned by either of them, disappearing in the many layers of the Wookie’s fur. 

 _“Will you take care of him, please Auntie? Take him home with you to Kashyyyk. It’s nice there, and my mother will want to be alone.”_ She didn’t say that Wastrel would most definitely lay all of the blame at Kayt’s feet, but Khawapashi knew her mother. 

 _“I will do what I can,”_ she agreed softly. Pashi nodded, sniffing and wiping at her eyes, before giving her one last smile and heading out to find the Masters.

  


Ben was still slow with his right arm, so they had been practicing with his sabers switched, and he was surprised to find his dexterity and movement had improved. He still couldn’t beat Rey’s speed, and the long blades of her staff nearly made up for his reach advantage, but she had grown accustomed to his usual handling of his blades, and it made her complacent. He nearly had her, one long arm grabbing the center of her staff and pinning her against his chest after she’d disarmed him of his red saber. For a second they remained heaving and panting, and he found his eyes drifting to follow a bead of sweat that rolled down between Rey’s breasts. 

_Focus, Solo._

_I am focused. On something very interesting._  

He felt the flush of arousal course through her when he spoke into her mind, and a sly smile touched his face. He’d never done this outside of their bedroom, but they were alone in the private training room branched off from their quarters, and he was curious. He jerked his body into hers while ripping the hilt of her weapon out of her grasp, holding it high above her reach. She tried to summon his discarded blade instead, but Ben’s hand was already flung out to stop her. 

Weaponless, Rey took a step back to re-evaluate, but her didn’t give her the chance. With perfect precision, using both hands, he drew her weapon’s blade downwards and Rey’s eyes widened. She gave an undignified squeak as the sheared-off fabric of her chest band fell to the floor, and the second her attention was distracted, he flung aside her staff and reached his hand out to paralyze her. 

She was panting heavily, not all from exertion, her lush hazel eyes following his every movement with intense focus. He brushed sweat-damp hair from the back of her neck, and traced a single finger gently and slowly down her spine. Rey trembled, drawing in a half-gasp of breath, and he did it again, tracing back up. She whimpered, struggling against his paralysis, as he slowly circled her. 

“Hmm…” He studied her carefully. “I wonder how long I could keep you like this? We haven't tried sincd you came to me on Mandalore.” 

Rey’s eyes flashed with surprise, and she swallowed nervously. Ben gave her his best predatory smirk, and she closed her eyes. 

“I imagine you've got a lot more confidence now. Not quite as desperate to have me,” she said softly. 

"Oh, I’m always desperate to have you," he replied softly, his lips just brushing her ear. Rey shivered. "I thought we agreed no Force powers?" 

“Perhaps we could amend that agreement, just a little?” 

He bent his head, suddenly and roughly taking her nipple into his mouth, sucking with a strength that made her whine and moan. He could hear her heart pounding in her chest, and he reached down to find the waistband of the undershorts she wore to practice in. 

Rey swore, closing her eyes. When she opened them, she heaved a deep sigh. “How little?” 

“Just this to start with,” he soothed in a silken whisper against her skin as he moved his attention to her other breast. She moaned louder this time, and he could feel the heat flooding her body, the slickness adding to sweat between her legs, her toes curling in her boots. 

“To start with?” 

His eyes darted up to hers, checking to be sure. If she was even remotely unsure, he had no desire to hurt or abuse her. 

“If we’re going to do this, you need a safe word. I don’t want to be in a situation where I have bested your powers and you can’t reach my mind or tell me to stop.” 

Rey looked down thoughtfully, biting her lip. “Why would I ever be in a situation where you can’t hear me and I can’t speak?” 

“Because that’s part of it. I - You saw, in my mind, the -” 

“The interrogation chamber. _Maker,_ Ben!” She took a deep breath. “I need to think for awhile. I need to know… why you…” 

“Because you are the only living thing in the entire galaxy that can best me, and I like the feeling of reducing you to my personal slut,” he said plainly. She blushed, she always blushed when he talked dirty, but he knew she liked it, because half the time it was his voice alone that made her come. 

“You do that already,” she said dismissively. 

“No. You and I both know you could overpower me in a second if you didn’t like something,” he explained. “This is different. I want you on your knees because I put you there, not because you decided to do it.” 

Her gaze moved from his eyes to his lips and he could _feel_ her body surge with an astonishing arousal as she pictured what exactly it was that he wanted. But then she frowned, looking back into his eyes. “If we’re going to do this, we need to talk. Let me go, please.” 

He leaned in, casting his eyes over her face, his lips inches from her pale little rosebud mouth. “Please, _what_? 

“Please, Master,” she responded. Perfectly. Immediately. Force, what had he done to ever _deserve_ this woman? And what sick, twisted part of his soul made him so hungry to dominate her, in every way she would allow? 

He kissed her just as he released her, and her freed hands found their way into his hair as she opened her mouth for his thrusting tongue. 

The sound of their door chime went unnoticed for a moment, until a second chime and then some hesitant knocking broke them apart. 

“It’s Pashi, I can sense her,” Rey said quickly. “You get it, I…” 

“Need to find more clothes?” He grinned. She rolled her eyes. 

“And whose fault is that?” 

“Yours. For being a filthy little seductress in those skimpy clothes.” 

 _“Ben!_ ” But she was smiling, shaking her head at him as she rummaged for something to cover up with.

As soon as he opened the door, he knew. He wasn’t entirely sure how, but there was just something missing in the apprentice’s appearance, a lack of connection that felt unnatural coming from Pashi. He held the door open, and she entered without a word, sitting solemnly at their dining table until Rey came out dressed in only Ben’s discarded undershirt. On her it covered way past the skimpy shorts to the middle of her thigh, and it made him smile to see her thieving his clothes. 

That smile faded instantly the moment Rey dropped down to her knees besides Pashi’s chair, her eyes full of fear and concern. 

“Pashi? What is it?” 

She shook her head, mutely, tears welling in her dark eyes, and Ben immediately went to the freezer and retrieved a bottle of Corellian whiskey and three shot glasses. He lined them up on the table without speaking, and he and Pashi both drank at once. Rey regarded them both carefully. 

“Ben? What’s going on?” 

“I’m going to…” Pashi’s voice wavered, and she swallowed, visibly gathering strength. “I’m ending this. Kirin is in pain, I can feel her suffering every day, and when I went into her dreams… They were so dark. Just her memories, on repeat. I kept trying to reach her, but she disappeared before I could touch her… I don’t know what else to do. The Force Bond… If I die, she dies, right?” 

Rey sat down then, slumped in the chair next to Pashi, and without hesitation, she gulped down the whiskey, closing her eyes. 

_Ben…_

_I know…_

_What did we do?_

_We failed,_ he said simply. 

They had failed, at so many things. They had succeeded in destroying Arkanis, but Kirin hadn’t left any survivors besides the four of them, Thalia and Genji and the boy from the guard. They had failed to protect their students, their friends, from a fate worse than death. They failed to find any way of reaching Kirin or waking her up, even after Ben spent three days pouring over Rey’s texts and his small collection of holocrons, and Rey consulted every Force Ghost who would answer her begging. Ahsoka had recommended dreams. Obi-wan had suggested the perhaps Pashi could control her shields, bringing her back into control of her mind. 

Luke had shaken his head and offered nothing, telling Rey that failure could be a cruel teacher, and suggesting they needed more time. 

_It’s been a week now._

_I know, but…_  

“I just think she needs more time, Pashi. At least give her a month,” she pleaded, eyes sparkling with tears. Pashi was numb, emotionless. And swallowed utterly by darkness. His eyes narrowed. 

She wasn’t just enveloped in the dark side, it had subsumed her spirit completely. Somehow, all of her light, even the little flicker of life force that nearly every living being had, had been drained from her. Ben frowned, noticing something familiar on her belt. 

“Pashi. Is that one of the darksabers from Arkanis?” He jut his chin in her direction, following his gaze, and she shrugged, unbothered. 

“Yeah, so? Thalia gave it to me when I… When you guys were dying.” He could tell there was more to it than that, but he needed time to think, to distract her. Because they had to get that thing away from her. The dark part of him, the Kylo Ren beast that prowled his head, saw the thing and snarled, posturing against a dark power stronger than itself. 

_We have to get that thing away from her. I have a bad feeling about it._

_You don’t say?_

_Rey…_  

“Pashi? Can I see that for a moment? I’d like to figure out how it does what it does.” Hesitantly, she reached her hand down, but as soon as it settled over the hilt, she shook her head adamantly. 

“No, you want to take it from me!” She snapped, rising to her feet. “I _need_ it. It keeps Kirin alive with my energy. I’m not using it in combat or anything, it’s just for Kirin. To stay alive…” 

“Pashi,” Ben said very carefully, getting to his feet to distract her while Rey positioned herself in front of the door. “We just want to see it for a moment. If it’s perfectly safe, we’ll give it back.” 

“But it’s not safe! It’s not, it’s draining my energy, but I don’t care, I don’t want to live without her and she’s in _pain_!” Her eyes darted from Ben to Rey and she flat out snarled. He could see Rey’s expression of shock. “I thought you two, of all people, would understand!” 

“We understand, Pashi. Believe me, we do, but… Those blades are made with powerful dark elements. They’re not just sabers, or believe me, we’d have taken them,” Rey explained in a steady voice. 

“Why do you think we burned the entire facility into dust from orbit?” Ben kept one hand at his side, hidden under the table, while he tugged at the darksaber overtly. “There was nothing worth saving there - _nothing_ -” 

“You two are such hypocrites! You claim to walk the middle path, use dark and light techniques, encourage us to pursue whatever we want, but when it comes to actual dark-dark stuff, suddenly you’re as snobby as any Jedi!” She growled yanking the blade from her belt, and that was when Ben knew he had her. With his visible hand, he reached for the blade, feeling Rey catch onto his plan and reach out for it as well. It rattle violently in Pashi’s grip, strung out between the three of them, while Ben carefully moved his hand beneath the table, preparing a gesture to yank Pashi towards him. 

The timing had to be perfect. He reached out to Rey, and their powers and intentions combined seamlessly, two halves of a hole. 

_Don’t let go._

_I won’t._

With his hidden hand, he lashed out, paralyzing Pashi for a brief second, just long enough for her grip on the hilt to loosen, and it flew into her hand as he jumped the table, tapping the girl’s mind in one of his pet tricks, putting her to sleep. He caught her and carried her to their bedroom, laying her gently atop the fluffy blue comforter, before he returned to see Rey holding the wicked thing suspended in the air, eying it like a disgusting insect.

“Don’t touch it,” she warned. He nodded, stepping around to examine the cheaply-constructed hilt cautiously. 

“It’s mass-produced. Mass-produced darksabers.” He stared at the thing in disbelief. How were they going to get rid of this thing? 

“We’re in space, Ben. Throw it out the airlock?” 

“Oh. Right, okay.” He moved around her, back into their bedroom. 

“Ben?” 

“I have an idea, just give me a second.” He rummaged in the bottom drawer of his dressing cabinet, finding his spare, unused gloves, still wrapped in the packaging from the leatherworker on Coruscant. He tugged them on,clenching and unclenching his fists to stretch them out, and came back to her, holding out his hand. “I think it needs skin contact,” he explained. “I know you hate them, but they do have their uses.” 

A thought passed through her mind, a flare of something he didn’t quite catch, and he blinked at her in surprise. 

“Rey?” 

“Another time,” she waved her hand at him. “Let’s just get this done first.”  


 

“Sir, we’re receiving a transmission from an unknown ship. It’s just a small corvette cruiser,” Kit called out respectfully to Captain Peavey. He turned from his perusal of the astrogation logs to look out over the viewport.

 “No weapons?” 

“Just standard-fire cannons, sir. Nothing that could damage us.” 

“Well?” The captain demanded, turning back again after a moment of silence. “Open the transmission!” 

“Yessir!” The lieutenant flipped some switches and toggled on the overhead speaker. 

“This is the _Fulcrum_ hailing the Star Destroyer _Absolution_. Requesting contact with either Kylo Ren or Rey of Jakku or anyone else of sufficient rank to grant us deck space,” came a woman’s rather low tone. 

“ _Fulcrum_ what is your business with us?” Captain Peavey replied pleasantly enough. Anyone asking for Kylo _or_ Rey was more than likely a friendly. Probably some Resistance visitors or some such. 

“This is a diplomatic visit from the ruler of Mandalore-” 

“Captain, this is Master Soran Baasen, can you confirm visual?” Peavey nodded to Kit, who turned on the holovid. “Ah, home sweet home. I've come back with a little gift for my favorite cousin, can you secure a holding cell?” 

“Ah, well. At least your mission was successful. Welcome back, Master Baasen. You can park your ship in the A hangar, there’s plenty of space.” He paused, thoughtfully. “Is it true you have the ruler of Mandalore onboard? Shall we prepare for a diplomatic visit?” 

Inwardly, the captain groaned, thinking of all the extra pomp and parade that would be required on such an occasion. Then he remembered he wasn’t commanding a First Order ship anymore, and all he really had to do was notify Kylo-Ben or Lady Solo. 

“I don’t like ceremonies, Captain,” the woman’s voice sounded. “Just some simple quarters if you have any to spare, and a meeting with the Solos ASAP.” 

“Very well. Welcome to the _Absolution_ \- er - Madam…” 

“Sabine. Sabine Wren.” Captain Peavey decided he liked her immediately. No titles, no special treatment, goes straight to the top brass. All he was required to do was assign her deck space and send a few of the Guard, as the liberated Stormtroopers had begun calling themselves, to make sure she found her quarters and didn’t wander into a training room.  
  


“We’ll talk later,” Ezra promised, placing a kiss on her forehead. Sabine laughed softly. 

“About what, exactly? The past? The future?” The quarters were nice enough, on the same floor and hall as Soran’s, so they were convenient as well. “Are you planning on joining them?” 

“Well, I have this Force Bond, you see and… I’m not a big fan of being tormented by other people's demons, so… I figured they know more about these things than anyone else.” He gave a slight shrug, and she could see the faint trace of that Jedi arrogance slipping back to him. Before, in the dreamworld, he had been shy, hesitant. For more years than she cared to admit, she had survived on brief touches, a chaste kiss on her hand, possibly on her neck if he was being particularly daring, but they had been alone on the flight to Tatooine and… _Things_ happened. 

She sighed, settling down on the comfortable leather sofa in the large dining/living area in the front of the suite. “Okay, well… I’ll just… I’ll be here.”

“Sabine-” 

“Don’t worry about me. Go do your Jedi things.” She pulled out her holopad, loaded with several steamy, romantic trash novels and waved a hand for him to leave. “This is like a vacation for me. No stupid courtiers trying to marry me, no annoying family members looking down their noses… I’m just gonna sit here and read about Jessika’s round bosom and Filando’s hard length. I’ll mark the juicy bits to read to you when you get back.” 

She winked, and Ezra fled, his tan skin almost bright red before he escaped the door with a slam. She smirked, and went back to her novel. _When you’re alone for thirty years, you make do with what you can…_  

But trying to go back to her trashy smut after having experienced the real thing… Sabine realized she had been staring blankly at the ceiling, thinking of the calluses on Ezra’s thumbs, and shook herself. She couldn't quite shake the little smile that held to the corners of her mouth, and her mind kept drifting, as her eyes skimmed over the text of her novel without really remembering much of it.


	45. The End of the Beginning Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holeeeey shit, it's done! I had to break it up into two chapters to squeze everyone in, but I’m as happy as I’m gonna get with it. Probably inconsistent as fuck, I write too fast for my betas to keep up, but it's just smutty dark fan fic so... If you've gotten this far with me, I really hope it's been enjoyable!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Lots of sex, hard, rough, bondage stuff, Darth Tantrum makes a sudden appearance, Rey has a moment... Also the promised vengeance porn continues!

“Oh, Pashi,” Rey sighed, sitting on the edge of their bed, looking at the girl's drawn, shadowed face. “How did we miss that vile thing?”

Ben turned, and she felt the flare of his rage through the Bond just before he slammed his fist through the wall between the bedroom and sitting room. She closed her eyes as he did it again, and again. She was fairly certain she heard bones crack.

“ _Enough,_ Ben!” Rey whirled, throwing a hand out to paralyze him. He threw it off quickly, but it made him stop. She beckoned to him. “Come here, let me see.”

He held out his hand, not really looking at it, or her, his eyes hollow and roiling with emotion. Rey gasped, gently picking out pieces of wood paneling from between his knuckles, blood oozing everywhere. Hurriedly, she stripped off a pillowcase from the bedding and wrapped it up, grimacing at the small puddle of blood on her lovely plush carpet.

“Do you feel better now?” She said icily. He refused to meet her gaze, folding his hand around her makeshift bandage and pulling it to his chest.

“I can't feel it,” he murmured, examining the spreading stain blossoming on the deep blue fabric. “How bad is it?”

She shook her head worriedly. “I’m not a medic, but I’m pretty sure at least two of your fingers are broken.” Rey reached for the bedside comm panel just as the blue message light came on.

“Ah, Master or Lady Solo?”

“We're both here, Captain,” Ben responded, moving in closer so his voice could be heard. “But, we have an emergency. We need a medical team up here, now.”

“Of course, Sir. I was also asked to inform you that Master Baasen has returned from his mission successfully, with the criminal subdued,” Peavey's even voice filled the room. “And he was accompanied by Sabine Wren and another man who claims to be a Jedi.”

They exchanged several looks before Rey managed to give a response. “Th-thank you, Captain. Please make absolutely _sure_ Dralnu is actually restrained. Bolt him to the wall if you must.”

“I will relay your orders to Master Soran, my lady. I believe he is working out a schedule with the other Knights so that the prisoner is never without a proper guard.” He paused. “The… erm… the Jedi insists he speak with you as soon as possible. He and Lady Wren were very insistent.”

“I'll meet them in the main conference room,” Rey promised. She fixed her husband with a hard stare, and watched as his lips worked and his Adam’s apple bobbed, but no real words came out. “When the medics clear you and Pashi, you should both join us.”

He watched her as she rose, making a slight noise of surprise as she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his chest. He stroked her hair somewhat awkwardly with his left hand.

“I’m sorry I…”

“Threw a tantrum? Dripped blood all over my nice rugs?”

His voice lowered and he muttered shamefully. “...Yes. Both.”

Rey pulled back and looked up at him, reaching a hand out to tug his head down so she could see his eyes. They were so bright and vulnerable, she felt a weight in her chest as if her heart suddenly weighed an extra ten pounds.

“Say it,” she said, her voice gentle even if she held his eyes relentlessly, demanding an appropriate response.

“I’m sorry I let my anger get the better of me and… put my fist through the wall,” his voice was low and he kept his eyes locked on hers, begging for understanding.

“And…?”

“And… hurt myself and bled all over the rug…” He expelled a breath, crushing her to his chest in a rush of desperate affection. “Fuck, Rey, I don't deserve you. You shouldn't have to put up with all my fucked up emotions. But,” his left hand slid down the side of her neck to trace the scar across her collar, and when her eyes followed the motion, he tipped her head back up and kissed her. “I’m glad you do.”

“Well, no one else volunteered.” She grinned at his injured look. “And if they did, I’d rip out their hair and get them a one-way ride to Jakku.”

“That seems… unnecessarily cruel…” He leaned in to kiss her again. “But I appreciate the sentiment-”

The sound of the door chimes and firm knocking from the medical team interrupted them, and Rey pressed a quick kiss to his bandaged hand before going to the door.

“Take care of Pashi. I have a feeling Soran might be able to help…” Ben’s eyebrows shot up with hope at the suggestion.

“That’s a good idea. And don't worry. I'll make sure we're both good patients and are safely treated before we come find you.” He didn't exactly promise to wait until the doctor cleared them, but Rey knew it was the best she would get.

“I know. I trust you.”

  


“It’s been over a week,” Rey was explaining to the stone-faced Soran and his polite, but quiet companion. “I don’t know how we missed what was going on, but I…” She looked down at her hands, folded on the table and sighed.

“You’re not omnipotent, Rey,” Soran said with surprising empathy. “And Pashi has always been a little sneak. Stealing drugs and hiding a dangerous Force artifact sound _exactly_ like things she would do.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking at his companion. “Any ideas, Jedi?”

“I have a name,” the other man snapped. But his voice when he turned to Rey was calm. “I think perhaps we _can_ help. If my… bondmate… can tolerate joining our powers and follow my lead.”

Soran’s eyes snapped to Ezra with poorly-concealed malaise. He clenched his jaw and peered down at the table, heaving a sigh that reminded Rey of Ben. _Force save me from these brooding boys,_ she thought.

Finally, Soran shrugged and sat back. “If you can save my cousin, Ghost, I’ll do anything you ask.” He met the other man’s gaze for a brief moment, and Rey caught the briefest hint of a smile from the Jedi.

“Oh? _Anything?_ ” He quipped. Soran grimaced.

“I’ll suck your fucking dick, Ezra, but only if I see Pashi and her fiancee freed from this curse,” he spat. Ezra blinked, clearly taken aback by the language, and Rey raised an eyebrow.

“Let’s start by calling me by my name,” he managed after a second of shock. “And maybe watch your language around Lady-”

“No, no,” Rey snickered. “Don’t ask for something he’s clearly incapable of. And believe me, I’m _not_ a kriffing lady. I’m a nobody from Jakku, honestly. If you think Soran’s language is bad, you should try the cantina at Niima sometime.”

She smirked at Soran’s brief smile of gratitude, but inwardly, she was trying to figure out how she was going to manage all _three_ of these arrogant idiots _and_ shepherd their new apprentices.

“Forgive me… Er… Master Rey. But aren’t you married to Ben Organa-Solo? If General Organa is gone, that makes you -”

“I know what it makes me, and I don’t care. It’s just Rey. Lady Solo if you must, but I am not and will never _be_ a princess.” She glared until he shrugged, dropping the issue.

“Master Rey it is then. I apologize if I offended you -”

 _Of course._ Of course Ben would walk in at that exact moment. And he came through the door behind Rey, so she couldn’t see his expression, only the tumult of emotions in his chest that were difficult to discern. He laid his good hand on her shoulder, and Rey sighed. If he was already acting possessive, she didn’t have high hopes for the rest of this meeting.

“Where’s Pashi?” She asked immediately, glancing up as he took a seat. She could see his hand had been bandaged with bacta and wrapped in clean gauze, and she eyed it approvingly.

Ben sighed. “She panicked and tried to fight us as soon as she woke up, so I put her back to sleep and carried her out to the _Aeonhawk_. Medici and her father are tending to her.”

Soran got to his feet immediately, giving Ben and Rey a questioning glance. She was surprised he even bothered, really, but maybe his Jedi bondmate was having some positive influence.

“Go,” Ben nodded at him. He turned to Ezra and leaned back slightly in his seat. “From what I could follow, we have other issues to discuss.” He had been listening to most of their conversation earlier, and Rey had wondered why he’d suddenly dropped out of the Bond. she realized he must have been carrying Pashi out to her father.

Soran left and the Jedi leaned forward, glancing from Rey to Ben as if trying to decide who to address. Rey made a hurried gesture of introduction. “This is Ezra Bridger. He’s-”

“I know who he is. Tell me about Thrawn,” Ben interrupted without preamble. Ezra seemed to sigh in relief as he began talking, explaining his long, bizarre story about time loops and space whales, sometimes answering Ben’s questions, sometimes asking his own. Rey realized they were going to be at this much longer than she thought, and that it would be best if Ezra didn’t have to explain everything a million times.

“I have a proposal, if you don’t mind the interruption?” She hazarded. Both men turned, as if surprised to find she was still in the room, and Rey rolled her eyes. “It seems like there’s a lot to discuss here, and I understand the urgency, but right now we’re down two masters and we have a lot of apprentices wandering around confused, not to mention all of this will have to be repeated at least once to Thalia and the other commanding officers.”

_I didn’t even realize… You’re absolutely right._

_Aren’t I always?_

_Not always… But most of the time._

“What do you propose, Lady- Master Rey?” Ezra asked after giving them a moment. It was strange to be talking telepathically in the presence of someone already familiar with the concept, and she gave him a surprised glance.

“Right now, we need to help Pashi and Kirin. Not just because they’re our Knights and we care about them, but also because they’re powerful in the Force, and we’ll need them if we’re going to have to combat the First Order again.” She hoped that wouldn’t happen, certainly Commandant Sloane wouldn’t just cede leadership to the admiral, but they had to prepare for the possibility. “It sounded like Soran needs your help with that, Ezra, so…”

He nodded, rising to his feet. “Yes, of course. I’ll go find him now. Ah… Master Rey, could you maybe tell Sabine what’s going on? I have a feeling she might be… unhappy with me if she thinks I’m going into danger without telling her.”

Rey thought Sabine would be more than unhappy, and she probably wouldn’t appreciate hearing it from a third party either, but she nodded anyway. “I’ll go find her.”

_Can you go check on Soran’s prisoner?_

_Fuck, yes. I forgot -_

_Yeah. Me too. We’re going to have to… arrange a trial, I suppose._

_No, we’re going to arrange an execution. Do you seriously think anyone is going to speak out against it?_

_No, Ben, but we have to follow our own protocols. Which is another reason we need Kirin and Pashi well._

_You’re right…. Again._  
  


After spending years traveling through dreams, speaking to Sabine and Ahsoka and later Soran, Ezra managed to enter the sleeping Twi’lek’s mind easily. Ben Solo had good instincts, the darkness clouding her dreams was at least partially foreign to her natural state, but it was also keeping her alive, anchored to her body. He’d seen it before, sadly, and there had been nothing he could do to help then.

But Cienne Baasen hadn’t had a Force Bond. She didn’t have another life force to draw on, to feed her light and cleanse away the dark. Slowly, he opened his eyes and slipped out of the trance he’d assumed.

Soran met his gaze immediately, already reading the outcome in his mind. He glanced at his cousin, lying on the _Aeonhawk’s_ other bunk, opposite her bondmate.

“We have get Pashi to find her light,” he said, watching her steady breathing with an aching heart. Despite being a charming, mischievous little brat, Soran had always thought Pashi’s inner light was the brightest he’d ever seen. Even when they got the bad Nebula Spice from Nyarla and she’d gone down a bad trip, she was able to shrug it off after a few days and a lot of rest and water.

He closed his eyes and reached out, but his own mind was too clouded, all he could feel around her was darkness. Soran slammed a fist against the wall, earning a shout from Medici.

“I have an idea,” he said finally. Ezra nodded, following his thoughts. Since they’d met in person, they hadn’t bothered to shut each other out, except the few times the Jedi was alone with Sabine, and Soran was beginning to get the feeling even _that_ could be shared… If he chose to look.

“Where is this island?”

  
  


Rey found the old smuggler performing a walk around of his ship, checking the fuel gages and exterior insulation panels. He straightened as soon as he noticed her, just barely avoiding knocking his head on the ship’s underside.

“What can I do for you, Lady Solo?” He said with a smile. Rey rolled her eyes and bit her lip, coming to a stop some distance away.

“Not you, too,” she groaned. Kayt grinned.

“I have no idea what you mean, but if I have done something to offend you, I’m very sorry,” he replied respectfully. Rey shook her head. She supposed if Kirin and Sabine could tolerate the undeserved nobility, she could as well. But it didn't seem fair that everyone just _decided_ to make particular notice of her gender, especially since she'd never heard anyone call Pashi or Thalia a kriffing lady, not once.

“I have an… actual business question for you…” She started hesitantly. His eyebrows rose, and he leaned casually against his ship, waiting for her to continue. Rey bit her lip, thinking. “I was wondering… I've heard of a drug that negates… you know. Force powers. I figured if there was something like that, you would know.”

Kayt was giving her an intensely curious look, but Rey refused to give him anymore information, crossing her arms and waiting for his answer.

“There is. Ylsimmer. Made from the bark of a tree that houses some very interesting little lizards… It's very expensive. And difficult to procure.” He tapped a finger to his lips thoughtfully, and Rey gave a wry smile.

“You have some, don’t you?”

“Child. If it exists and can be preserved, I have it.” He gestured to the ship. “Come inside. Medici! We have a client!”

  


Rey set the little jar of curled, dry black strips down on the sitting room table in front of Ben, dropping into the chair next to him. After a long day of arguing, they had been forced to agree that it was too dangerous for them all to make the trip to Ahch-To, and he had been restless ever since Ezra and Soran departed with Kirin and Pashi on Sabine’s little cruiser. Rey had come to a few conclusions after their heated training session, and the quick visit to Kayt Baasen had provided her with the perfect distraction. Ben stared, and she grinned like a loth-cat with a treasured secret.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“What do you think it is, Ben?” She propped her bare feet up on the smoothed wroshyr-wood table, watching as he picked up the jar and turned it over in his hands wonderingly.

“Ylsimmer. This much would cost a fortune… Rey. Why?” His dark gaze held her, and she swallowed nervously.

“I can't do the collar. It's too…” she made a warding gesture with her hands, grimacing. “Too permanent. What if I were stuck in it somehow? What if something came up? I’m glad we have those things to restrain Dralnu, or any other criminals we find, but otherwise they should stay locked away in our private storage where they belong. But that…” she gave a sort of shrug. “I talked to Kayt Baasen. The usual dose lasts a couple of hours.”

He set the jar down and regarded her carefully, a glint of heat lighting up his expression as his pupils widened. Rey felt her breathing grow shallower, and closed her eyes briefly.

“A couple of hours?”

She nodded, trying and failing to control her breathing. It was absolutely useless with the Bond, he could feel her arousal, and she could feel his.

“Kayt said… maybe a half-dose… just to test,” she couldn't breathe, the way he was looking at her was too much. Rey looked into his smoldering eyes with a challenge. “I want you to try it first.”

Ben sat back slowly. She could feel him mulling it over, his thoughts whirling, but she tried not to pry, letting him come to his own conclusion. He looked at the jar. He looked at her.

“Okay. When?”

“Now?”

He nodded. “Okay. How do you-?”

“It's a tea. There's instructions on the bottom.” She watched as he climbed off the couch and took the jar into their open kitchen area. “I want to make it myself. When it's my… turn.”

“Of course.”

In a few moments, she sat beside him on their bed, both of them staring at the steaming cup dwarfed by Ben's massive hands. He closed his eyes as he took a sip, and his shoulders lifted in surprise.

“It's sweet,” he murmured. He reached over and took her hand. And then he closed his eyes and swallowed the entire dose in one gulp. “Oh, fuck-”

He laid back on the bed, and Rey felt the dampening of their Bond. Not completely like the spider creature Hux used, but there was definitely a lessening of the warmth in her chest where she felt his presence.

She climbed up the bed and lay beside him, and he turned to look at her, his chocolate irises almost completely obscured by his wide pupils.

“Rey…” He was breathing so shallowly, and she couldn't quite feel his emotions. “Do something to me.”

She reached out and combed his hair back from his face with the softest of touches. His eyes were glittering and dark and he looked so very vulnerable… It awoke something in her. Her own darkness, normally occluded or absorbed in his presence. She cupped his face, studying him.

“What do you want me to do?” She whispered. Ben trembled, turning his face to kiss her hand.

“I want…” He stopped as she very slowly pushed him over onto his back and slipped away to slide off her underclothes. She climbed on top of him with just his shirt covering her. He was bare-chested, in very thin sleep pants that did nothing to hide his solid erection, and he groaned as she slid over him with only the thin fabric between them.

She trailed feathery kisses down his porcelain chest, grazing his nipples with her teeth, moving lower, until he bucked up against her and she sat up, giving him a sharp look.

“No. You don't get to move.” She held him steady with the Force, not quite paralysis, just enough pressure to hold him down while she languidly rolled her hips. Ben moaned, his eyes closing, and she applied a slight pressure to his throat. “Eyes on me, please.”

“Fuck. Rey,” his eyes pleaded for her as his breath grew shallow. “Please.”

“Please, _what_?”

“Please… Master.”

She smiled and slowly slipped a hand inside his pants, wrapping her fingers delicately around him. He moaned, low and hoarse, almost a whine, and she held his eyes while she stroked him and maintained her Force hold on his body and neck.

“Before we go any further, I think we should talk about safe words,” she suggested, letting go of her hold over him and resting her palms on his bare chest. Ben swallowed, his eyes darting from her eyes to her lips and back.

“Okay. Let me think…”

“Something simple. Something that you wouldn’t normally say, that will shut me down-”

“Starkiller.” He gave her a small smile as she laughed.

“Yeah. That’s… appropriate.” His eyes burned into hers and she yelped as he grabbed her waist, flipping them over so he had her pinned beneath his superior weight. “What are you doing?”

“What’s yours?” He demanded, sliding his hands under her shirt to palm her breasts while he kept his eyes locked on her.

Rey met his gaze evenly. She’d already thought of it before, she just hadn’t had the opportunity to tell him. “Jakku.”

Ben nodded, lowering his head to mouth at her nipples, and she let him tease her for a while, sliding his hands up the inside of her thighs, flicking his tongue over the apex of her heat and her damp opening.

Then it was his turn to cry out in surprise as she used the Force to flip him onto his back, holding him there as she dug around for the black lacquer box beneath their bed. Ben had the only key, but Rey was a scavenger. She’d picked the lock weeks ago while he was asleep, and she opened it easily with a spare hairpin.

“What are you - You’re not supposed to look in there!” There was a trace of something in his voice, not quite fear, maybe, but… concern, definitely. Rey smirked, coming up with some of the silk ties.

“Scavenger,” she reminded him. “This was your idea. Are you backing out now that you’re truly under my control?”

He met her eyes, his chest rising and falling heavily. She glanced down, and his cock twitched as if to remind her of its existence. She traced a finger from the base to the tip, eliciting a groan from her restrained husband.

“No,” he said softly, relaxing back into the bed. “Do what you want.”

She tied him down expertly, leaving him no room to even move more than an inch, and then she summoned her lightsaber from her bedside table. His eyes widened, and he trembled as she cut away his clothing.

“Scared yet?” She checked. Wordlessly, he shook his head, just watching her as she stripped him.

She turned off her weapon and flicked it away, climbing slowly over his body, nipping his thighs until he cried out her name, tracing his cock with her tongue, licking the sweat up from his navel to the center of his hard chest.

When she straddled his face, he moaned into her damp flesh, applying his mouth to her without prompting. “Oh, Ben. You’re being so good.”

Rey closed her eyes and rocked against his willing mouth, moaning praises as his tongue worked her eagerly, until she felt herself climbing, spiraling up to white-hot release.

“I’m going to -” She panted, making sure he was alright, and he groaned against her in response, his mouth and tongue following familiar patterns. “Ben, I need you to tell me it’s okay.”

“Yes, _yes_ ,” he insisted. “Let me please you!”

She closed her eyes and let go, her hips rocking faster against him as her cries grew louder and sharper and her body froze and then shook violently, leaving her gasping with her hands against the headboard to hold her up.

“Oh _, fuck,_ Ben! Gods-” She shuddered as he drew her out, knowing exactly how to ease every last quake of pleasure from her body, until she was panting and boneless, barely able to lower herself back onto his chest.

“Rey,” he whispered as she gathered herself. “Please.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of you, my beautiful prince of darkness,” she lifted her head to kiss him, sucking his tongue into her mouth and eliciting a low moan from him. When she pulled away to take him in hand, she held his eyes, slowly sinking down as he twitched and shuddered. Rey pushed damp hair out of his eyes and cupped his face. “You’re so beautiful with lust in your eyes, did I ever tell you that?”

“No,” his voice broke over the word and he closed his eyes. “This is… Rey. It’s so different. I want to… I want you to claim me.”

She traced her scar down from his face to his chest slowly. “I think I have,” she murmured, repeating the trail with kisses, then with her tongue. She could feel him twitching inside her and she regarded him thoughtfully as she slowly built up speed, rocking over him. “How else am I meant to claim you?”

“I don’t know, but I want to find out,” he panted. Rey leaned in and laid claim to his mouth, sucking and biting his lip until she tasted blood, and he made delightfully eager sounds against her as he moved his hips as much as he could.

“Shh, stop, stop moving,” she warned him. “You don’t get to move, remember? This is the part where I fuck you.”

Ben groaned at her words and she sat up, rolling her hips over and over at a pace she enjoyed but she knew wasn’t enough to satisfy him. She wasn’t quite done playing yet, and he felt so good inside her, the power she felt riding him with only her own movements was intoxicating, and suddenly she understood why he wanted it so badly.

“You’re mine. Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. I own you.” She held his gaze coolly. “Say it.”

“Yes, I’m yours, Rey. I’m so fucking yours,” he answered eagerly, and she smiled, giving him a little squeeze from inside.

“Good. Do you want to come now? You’ve been so good for me, love, I’ll let you if you keep absolutely still.” He moaned when she increased her pace, her own breath coming in shorter pants as she braced herself on his chest.

“Please, Rey.” Good gods, his voice sounded so soft, so pleading, and his wide eyes shone with his naked need and adoration. Yes, she could probably do anything she wanted to him now and he would let her, he would beg her to claim him more, to take everything he could give.

“Please _what_?” She halted, just for a second, and he gave a desperate, half-sobbing whine, closing his eye briefly.

“Please, Master. Master Rey. Let me come, I’ll be still, I swear!” She moved again slowly, and his whine was sharp as he flung his head back. “Oh, fuck, please, I can’t - I need to -"

“Shhh,” she soothed. “When I say, alright? I’m so close, Ben, you feel so good.”

He _howled_ when she finally broke around him, and Rey rocked over him _hard,_ crying out to give him permission to move, to climax with her. She fucked him until he was soft inside her, slowly easing her pace as they both fought for breath. All she wanted was to curl up beside him and sleep, but she knew he would never leave her tied up and messy, so she gathered herself, kissing his sweaty forehead and his lips, dry from from panting but still warm and flush.

“You were so good. I didn’t know you could be good like that,” she murmured. She rested her forehead against his as she used the Force to untie his wrists. He finally managed a deep breath, looking up into her eyes with that same naked adoration she’d seen before.

“I didn’t either. I just wanted…” his eyes followed hers as she grinned, and he didn’t need to hear her thoughts to know what she was thinking. “Of course you know.”

“Oh.” Rey felt her eyes widen as she realized the full implications of their experiment. She buried her face in his shoulder and groaned softly. “Good gods. I want it too, Ben. I’ll take the tea.”

“You’re scared,” he said softly, bringing his arms up and stroking her hair. She nodded into his shoulder.

“Of course I’m scared. Weren’t you?”

“I was at first…” He admitted. “But then I… I didn’t care. I want to do it again. And again.”

Rey nodded, pulling back to look at him with a slight frown. He raised his eyebrows, his dark eyes holding hers. “It cuts us off from… Our center. The balance place. I don’t like that.”

“I know. We won’t do it all the time.” He rubbed her back with gentle fingers. She laughed and shook her head.

“No, we won’t. That jar cost me a freaking kyber crystal.”

“Just one?”

“I knew the seller pretty well,” she reminded him. “Medici said it was a poor trade, but Kayt told him to go fuck a ventilation shaft.” She snorted at his bark of laughter.

“That fucking droid.” He was silent for a moment, toying lazily with a strand of her hair. “Rey?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to give me a bath?” She met his eyes, warm and content and open, and giggled. “What? I always do for you.”

“I know, it’s just… Do you want bubbles and flowery soap, too? Shall I wash your hair, my beautiful prince?” She giggled more while he eyed her, a completely serious and injured expression on his face.

“Of course.” He managed to hold it for a few seconds longer, before they both broke out in laughter. Sighing in displeasure, Rey rolled out of the comfort of his arms and gestured toward their attached shower.

“Come on, into the shower. I’ll take care of you, but I’m not going to carry you.”

She did scrub his body and wash his hair. And when she found him growing hard again under her tender care, she got down on her knees and pleasured him with her mouth, letting him push her to take him all the way, closing her eyes and losing herself in him.

 

 

Late in the night while Ben was asleep, she found herself restless. She checked in with Sabine, who handled the piloting while Soran and Ezra kept their charges sedated, and confirmed they'd just reached Ahch-To. It was too dark to make the climb burdened with dead weight, and even Soran wasn't willing to brave the dark cavern below just yet.

She looked at the time on the communication console in her sitting room and decided she may as well get dressed. Her eyes drifted over the small bottle of ylsimmer bark as she turned on the caf machine and she shivered, shaking herself out of a momentary trance. With her lightsaber belt settled over her shoulder, she gave her husband a quick peck on his wide, bare chest and slipped out quickly, before she gave in to the temptation to do more.

The captured slaver was half-hidden in the darkness of the cell, crouched down in the small space of flooring at the end of the unused bunk. Soran's cruel dismembering had left him delusional and half mad, the ship's medical crew confirming that the head tails of the Twi’lek were more than just accessory, necessary for all kinds of delicate tasks like fine motor skills and equilibrium. Shut off from the Force by one of his own slave collars, Dralnu could barely walk. He had remained in the same position since they brought him down here, shackled to the wall, only moving to snatch up food and water and use the bare facilities.

Genji stood watch with two Guardsmen, warbling in surprise when Rey joined them. He watched her eying their prisoner for awhile before speaking in Shyriiwook.

_“He is broken utterly. His body draws breath and takes in food, but the spirit is gone. It’s pointless to continue this torture.”_

Rey's eyes hardened and she shook her head. Pashi might forgive them if they executed her tormentor before she had the chance to confront him, but she knew Kirin would want it, to see him reduced to less than sentience and to witness his execution. She might abhor the feeling of death through her empathy, but Rey knew the darkness that burned within her would make an exception for Dralnu.

 _“We need more than three Master Knights for a proper trial. He stays like this until Kirin and Pashi are returned to us,”_ she explained firmly. Genji studied the pale Twi'lek through the laser bars of the cell and shook his head.

“Downright gruesome, if you ask me,” one of the Guards stated abruptly. Rey tilted her head, surprised to find an ex-stormtrooper who understood Shyriiwook. He was a little older than the Guardsmen she was used to seeing, with tan skin and a shaved head.

“What’s your name?”

“Flynn Vizla, Master Solo. My real name. One of the old archivists who served in the Imperial Army has been helping us try and recover our identities. Turns out I’m Mandalorian.”

“Imagine that,” his compatriot smirked. Rey glanced at the other, a woman with friendly brown eyes and dark blue hair. For a moment she missed Finn bitterly, wondering what he would make of their Guards of Ren, if he knew how individual they all were beneath that faceless white armor. She turned back to Flynn Vizla with a raised brow.

“Who is this archivist woman? Where can I find her?” Both guards shifted uncomfortably, and frowned, reaching out just to brush the edges of their thoughts… _Ahh, I see._ She smiled warmly, placing a light hand on the woman’s shoulder. “I want to ask about my friend, Finn. FN-2187?”

“Oh!” She relaxed immediately, and Flynn Vizla chuckled, his entire countenance changing as he understood that Rey wasn't going to judge or reprimand them. They told her where to go, and she remained chatting in low voices with them until their replacements came with Thalia to relieve them.

As usual, the Knight-Captain looked like she hadn't slept in the last two cycles, and Rey ordered her to rest, dismissing Genji to enforce it. She chewed her lip, watching them leave thoughtfully. There were no rules that said a Force Bond had to be romantic, and it seemed Genji had assigned himself to look after the workaholic young woman, but she wondered about their lifespans. Wookies could live for centuries, and Genji was little more than an adolescent. It didn't seem fair to shackle him to a human lifetime.

She felt Ben stirring, reaching out for her when he realized she wasn't in bed or in their rooms. He found her location easy enough, and she let him see the quandary she was speculating.

_Hmmm. I’m not certain it would work out to be so one-sided. It might lengthen her lifetime just as it shortens his._

_Then they'll outlive us all._

_Is that a bad thing…?_

_No, I think it's an advantage. Genji and Thalia may not be the strongest of us, but they're stable, and loyal, and honorable._

_All the things a Knight should be._

Rey was quiet for a while, leaving the Bond open halfway, like a cracked door, not necessarily desiring solitude, but leaving him to his own morning routine. She felt a light tug at her gut when he picked up the glass jar on the table, tucking it away safely in the back of cabinet.

_Ben? Are you… okay? Are we okay?_

_What makes you think we aren't?_

_I don’t know… I just feel like I… Like we're imbalanced._

And suddenly it hit her _why_ she felt that way, her stomach turning in flips of emotion, fear and desire and a need she hadn't quite understood, even after all this time. She traced the scar over her chest with her fingertips, feeling chilled and sweaty at the same time.

_You need me…_

_Yes._

_Why? Where is this… guilt from?_

_It’s not guilt, it's…_

Her heart pounded, loud and hard in her ears, and she swallowed, shifting uncomfortably in her position, leaning against the wall opposite the two guards.

_I was alone for so long. On my own. I had to do everything, and if I didn't keep my hackles up, didn't keep control of every single thing, I could have died. It was exhausting._

_Submitting to my control is the only way for you to relax._

_Yes._

_It helps you. You don’t just let me… for me._

_No. You said before… I’m the only being in the whole galaxy that can equal your strength, and that’s why you want to…_

_Dominate you. You can't even think it, can you?_

She felt her cheeks grow warm, and she shook her head, smiling slightly at the two men across from her who were exchanging confused looks.

“I’m just speaking to Master Solo,” she explained gently. “Surely you're aware we can do that? I know how gossip passes on these ships.”

One man, with skin darker than Finn’s and wide amber eyes grinned. The other sighed, pulling a credit chit from his pocket and handing it over. Rey laughed.

“What was the bet?” She asked eagerly. They looked at each other, and the first one winked at Rey.

“Oh, Odds over here still thinks you're Ren’s creature. That he keeps control over your mind.” The other man had skin as pale as Ben’s, and she could see he was the type who blushed easily. She crossed her arms.

“And? What was the bet?”

The one called Odds shrugged off his minor flush, refusing to meet her eyes though she was watching him sharply. “If he were controlling you, he'd never let you admit it. But you just did, so I guess that means you're really his equal.”

He somehow grew paler under Rey’s amused gaze, and she rolled her eyes. Some mischievous streak made her grin, and she withdrew her lightsaber, spinning the hilt in her hands, unlit. She stopped and held it before her with just the Force, holding both hands behind her back, and waiting for them to notice. When she finally had their attention, she activated it with her mind, smiling slightly at the appreciative gasps as it sprung to life.

She was looking right into the cell, so she saw Dralnu’s red eyes catch in the violet-white light of her dual blades, and she quickly powered it down and tucked it away. Genji was right, the man’s mind was completely chaotic when she checked, but his hungry gaze disturbed her.

“If I were under Master Solo’s thrall, do you really think he’d let me play around with my lightsaber to show off to some guards?” She challenged them gently.

_But you are under my thrall…_

_Oh, please._

_You are. Because I’m the only being in the galaxy who can hold you. You want to submit, Rey, you want to give up control, but you can't. It’s an instinct you can't fight._

_I know. I know, you don’t need to explain it, okay?_

_You're ashamed. Of what? Your desire?_

_No._

_Needing me?_

_No!_

_Then what…?_

_I should be the one in control!_ She bit her lip, trying to keep her emotions out of her outward body language. _I thought I wanted to turn you, I thought my intentions were so noble and righteous, but they weren't. I wanted you to come to me. But I didn't want you to turn. I wanted you to overcome me. Even now, when I feel the dark side rising in you, I.... I want you to take me and claim me and corrupt me. Everyone expects me to be this paragon of light and virtue and I’m not, and I can't stand it! I can't be the only one here fighting for light when what I really want is to be dominated and subdued by Kylo Ren!_

She was panting, and the guards were giving each other odd looks, as if trying to decide the best way to mention that their Force user seemed rather unstable and unfocused on the task of guarding their prisoner. Rey pulled out her portable communicator and hailed the only other person she trusted to keep watch on Dralnu.

_Rey. Come here._

_I will._

“You okay, kiddo?” Kayt asked gently as he found his way to her. “This place is locked up tighter than a Huttese bank. Do we really need a continuous guard cycle?”

“Are you joking?” She snapped, and he frowned.

“Well, I was.” The old smuggler regarded her with genuine concern in his dark eyes. “You go do whatever it is you need to do. Don’t worry about this worthless son-of-a-bitch. He's lucky he's got guards. I’d love a reason to knock his teeth in and take off some more appendages.”

“Thank you, Kayt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part III - Destiny is Just the Beginning will start after August. I’m going on vacation for a week to California (Yay!) and I have some other projects I’d like focus on - my a/b/o au is called A Tale of Tooth and Claw and is up here if you like that stuff - I’m also working on a Jedi Leia cannon divergence and a very different alternate reality with medieval faeries (Kylo has wings!) that I will start posting soon.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Comments make my day! :D


	46. The End of the Beginning Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of THE END. Of part II. I crack myself up sometimes. I’m not drunk, I swear!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Lots of sex, hard, rough, bondage stuff, knife play, fluffy wedding discussions, someone gets executed... I think that's all, but it's a long chapter.

He was waiting when she came in, and they had no need for words. As soon as the door was closed, he had her pressed against it, claiming her mouth with a searing kiss and aggressively sweeping his tongue over hers. His hands gripped her arms, and she moaned when she realized he had his gloves on. He roughly spun her around, ripping apart her clothes and tearing them off.

“Do you have to-”

“Silence,” he snapped. Rey’s jaw shut tight as he held her against the door with his upper body while he freed himself from his pants. One gloved hand came up to grasp under her jaw, his thumb grazing over the back of her neck, while the other slipped between her legs.

“You're not wet enough,” he growled like it was somehow her fault. “Stay still while I lick you. Move, or cry out, and I'll just fuck your face instead.”

Rey shivered at the low sound of his voice, the threat and the power implied by his rough handling. It didn't take long for him to have her flushed and ready, and she bit her tongue for silence as he tugged off one glove and thrust three fingers inside her. He took his hand out and slipped his lubricated finger in the tight opening above, and her jaw clenched so hard she tasted blood, but she made no sounds as he fingered her, or when he thrust in below.

She could sense him grasping the Force, drawing it tight around her so she was completely frozen, held up by his weight and bruising grip on her hips as he fucked her hard, crushing her body against the door.

“Is this enough for you, scavenger? Are you going to come like this?” His growl in her ear made her whole body tingle, tightening her slick interior around his cock. His grunts and groans were loud against the duraplast walls, made more obscene somewhat by her silence. He forced her head back against his shoulder. “Speak!”

“Yes,” she gasped. “Yes, I’m c-close… don’t stop… Ben -”

“No! Say the right name, dammit!” He was hissing in her ear, hard and angry, and she loved it, she loved his feral sounds and rough grip, the way his body overwhelmed hers completely. “You filthy fucking scavenger. You're going to scream my name when you come. I want everyone on this entire ship to hear you!”

“Yes, Kylo, yes!” She let her head rest against him, eyes closed as her body throbbed and pulsed, muscles twitching as her climax grew nigh. “That's right, I’m nobody. Just a scavenger from nowhere. I’m not a lady or a princess, and I don’t want to be fucked like one!”

His hand clenched in her hair and the slight twinge of pain, mixed the pleasure of him moving so deliciously hard and fast, pulled her tumbling over the edge.

“Say my name, scavenger!”

“Kylo!” She moaned, eyes closed as hot waves of pleasure coursed through her, dragged out by his continued movements. “Oh, Maker, Kylo! Fuck me, don’t stop, I want you, I want to feel you - please, Kylo - Oh, fuck -”

He growled fiercely as he reached his peak, spilling warm and thick inside her, thrusting still until her breath grew calmer and his paralysis lifted. He drew her back into his arms, lifting her and carrying her to their bed, where he stripped off the rest of his clothes and buried his face between her legs.

  
  
  


It was the warmth that woke her. Slowly. More slowly than it should have. Her mind scrambled piece together crumbs before someone came-

No. She was outside. She could smell salt water and moss and warm, porous rock, not the inside of a building, dark with draperies and smoke. But it was familiar, and Kirin could count the number of green ocean planets she'd been to on one hand. She moved to sit up, opening her eyes, and realized someone with warm, strong arms was holding her.

“Master Solo?” She asked, but the energy didn't feel quite right. Familiar, but definitely not the overpowering presence of her master. Ben Solo didn't have blue eyes, either. Kirin frowned at his tight smile. “ _ Ezra? _ How?”

“I promise, I'll explain. I'll explain  _ a lot _ . But first-”

Suddenly she felt it. Like a lead weight pulling at her, dragging her down into total darkness. She lifted a hand to her head in response to the pounding headache that sprang up behind her eyes, her fingers trembling. She reached out, but her bondmate was deep asleep in nightmares of her own. Kirin stumbled to her feet and cursed as she very nearly fell from the high rock, caught securely by Ezra's Force power. He pulled her in, concern etched in his eyes, but she had no time to worry about her own condition. She was alive, awake and moving, and she had to get to Pashi.

“Take me to her,” she whispered hoarsely. He sighed, shaking his head, and unfolded from his meditative position on the warm rock. She balked when he tried to lift her, and Ezra looked down with sympathy. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “It’s instinct now. I don’t like men touching me.”

“She's in the cave with Soran. If you want to get to her, you have to trust me.” He hesitated, seeing the conflict waring over her face. “I can see if Sabine can help you.”

“No, I trust you. Just get me down there.”

He nodded, and she didn't resist this time when he moved to lift her in his arms. It took them longer than Kirin could tolerate, getting down the mountain, and by the time they reached the opening in the ground where the surf pounded beneath, she was a mess. Partly, she cried as he explained the events of the previous weeks as best he could, and partly she grumbled and snapped at him to hurry up.

_ Pashi, Pashi, my sweet nightbird, I am coming. _

Finally, she was climbing out of the water with Ezra’s help, crossing the last few steps unaided to kneel on the stone floor before the mirrored wall, where Soran watched over her love’s sleeping form. Kirin took her hand and brushed beads of sweat from her smooth forehead, feeling over the Bond for Pashi’s mind, trying to conjure the right kind of memories to awaken her light.

It wasn't working, and she growled in frustration, eying the two men who watched, awkwardly, Soran leaning against the wall while Ezra paced.

“What do I do? I cannot find her bright spirit, even when I search through our Bond. She is lost,” her voice rose into a sob before she could strangle it.

Ezra looked to Soran, who gave a sort of harried sigh and knelt on the opposite side of his slumbering cousin. He placed a hand over her brow, closing his eyes, and Kirin waited. But eventually, the other knight shook his head.

“Give her your own light,” he said finally. Kirin frowned, her eyes welling with unshed tears. She wasn't at all sure she had anything left to give, after exhausting her strength to save Ben Solo and wandering through her own dismal past for the last few weeks. “Kirin. No matter how dark you go, there's always a spark. That’s what makes the struggle so hard.”

“Dralnu had no spark of light left.” 

“I’m not talking about anomalies like  _ him _ . I’m talking about the rest of us - me, you, Kylo-Ben, Ezra over there, even Rey. We've all got dark and light within us, because we're people. Decent people, who maybe have done some bad things, and maybe buckled under the burden of too many expectations.” Ezra came to stand closer, listening to Soran with a trace of surprise in his expression.

“There was alway light in Ben Solo, even when he was Snoke’s creature,” Soran continued. “Otherwise he wouldn't have been able to bond with Rey, even accidentally. And there was always some darkness in Rey. Remember, Luke Skywalker was frightened of her strength.”

“I know that. I know the fucking Force wants  _ balance _ .” She spat venomously. “But it doesn't care how it gets it. If Pashi and I die, the Force will still have its precious balance. How do I convince it that we - that she needs to live?”

“That's not how it works,” Ezra jumped in. “The Force naturally seeks balance, yes. And for most people, there's no fighting it, it will get what it wants in the end. But we have the ability not just to  _ feel _ the Force, but to bend it to our will. Yes, there are consequences, and yes it's easier to work with it than against it, but you  _ can _ control the Force, Kirin. It doesn't have to control you.”

Soran snorted derisively, like Ezra's words had a different meaning to him, and she realized belatedly that the two of them shared a Force Bond, however accidentally it may have happened. It hadn't just disappeared when Ezra Bridger escaped the Unknown Region after Thrawn discovered the way out. Kirin regarded him thoughtfully.

_ You can control the Force. It doesn't have to control you. _

“Both of you need to leave,” she said firmly. “I know what to do.”

She glowered at Soran, but he didn’t seem to take the hint, and she didn’t want to traumatize him with graphic images of his cousin, so she fixed her eyes on Ezra and chose her words carefully.

“The Force is dark and light, yes? But the two are separate in our minds… The emotions involved are opposites. Peace, Violence. Life, Death. Compassion and Rage.” At his nod, she smiled gently, glancing down at her lover. This sort of thing was new to the Jedi, even though he was past middle-aged, and therefore his thoughts on it were closer to the surface. “Where do they come together?”

“What?” Soran just looked confused. Ezra swallowed, and she caught an image in his mind before he swiftly grabbed the other man by the arm and dragged him away.

Kirin smirked despite everything.

“You talked to her, I see.”

Soran stopped, yanking his arm out of Ezra’s, his eyes flashing between him and Kirin before he grimaced and turned, practically diving into the water to get away.

“That must be… awkward,” she said calmly, eyes still on the water. “Does she know about the Bond? Does she know how he feels?”

“There’s nothing about me that woman doesn’t know,” he complained with a curse. “Even that. Believe me, she’s got plenty to say about it, too. Are you sure you can-?”

“Yes. It’s very simple. Lust, desire, passion - love. Believe me, this is something I am… perhaps  _ uniquely _ qualified for.” She made a shooing gesture with her hands, bracelets clinking softly. “Go, talk to your lover and your bondmate and maybe don’t treat Sabine like she’s somehow inferior just because she’s not gifted with the same abilities we are, hmm? She’s right, you know. I could always feel it.”

“Yeah, well…” He cleared his throat and scowled down at the water. “May the Force be with you, Kirin.”

She rolled her eyes, waiting to be sure he was gone and not reaching out to hover over them with the Force. He was going to be very uncomfortable very soon if he did, but that wasn’t her problem.

She didn’t actually intend on physically touching Pashi, that would be at best presumptive, and she didn’t want to wake her until she was certain there was something else there besides the overwhelming rage and despair she sensed now.

Instead she explored her own desire, fantasies she’d had about Pashi when their relationship was brand new, daydreams of their night on Kashyyyk. The cycle and a half they’d spent in their quarters on the  _ Absolution _ . If she concentrated, she could almost feel her lover’s strong, calloused hands over her skin, her warm mouth and clever tongue and the smooth skin of her muscled thigh between Kirin’s legs.

The second part was easier. Once she stoked her  _ own _ lust, she expanded her shields, sweeping Pashi up with her, sensing her embattled mind switch gears. The sheer strength of her response, the near-violence of the passion that surged in her, replacing her anger with equal fervor, made Kirin gasp out loud. She felt her body physically trembling, frightened of the images she could see, but she stilled herself. This was Pashi,  _ her _ Pashi, the woman she was going to marry. She couldn’t hurt Kirin, given the Bond and her empathy, it would be nearly impossible for Pashi to do  _ anything _ to her that she didn’t enjoy. It was hard and rough and violent, but only superficially. There was no malice behind it.

She let herself become a part of those fantasies, and active and responsive part, and slowly - oh, so gods-damned  _ slowly _ \- she felt something spark in her lover that was more than just raw desire. It began as an understanding, a fondness, growing into a need that expanded through them both -

\- the Force Bond flared to life in her mind, brilliant with golden light, and she opened her eyes to see Pashi sitting up beside her, her eyes wide as she lifted a hand to cup Kirin’s face.

“You…” Her dark eyes welled with tears as everything surfaced, and Kirin couldn’t stop herself from pulling her into a tight embrace. Pashi sighed, in relief and pleasure and joy, and Kirin felt it all, her bright, vibrant mind with its ten-thousand thoughts at once, emotions flickering and flaring as she pieced together the basics of what happened.

“You’re an idiot,” Kirin said plainly. Pashi blinked, looking thoughtful for the briefest of moments, before she looked down at her hand, still clasped firmly in Kirin’s, and nodded.

“You were dying,” she said eventually. Her eyes shot up pleadingly.

“I was.” She agreed. “You had no right to stop me. Selfish idiot.”

“Oh, no!” She shook her head, adamant and infuriating. “No, you gave me that right. The second you agreed to the Force Bond, the second you  _ asked me to marry you _ , you gave me the right to try and save you.”

“I -”

“Shut up.” She grinned, grabbing Kirin by the base of her  _ lekku _ and dragging her down for a passionate, lingering kiss.

It wasn’t like anything she’d experience from their love-making before. Pashi had always been gentle, greedy and lustful, yes, but this was aggressive, hard and demanding and forceful. She hung on tightly when Kirin tried to pull away, she twined her leg over hers and pulled, bringing her down on top of her and shoving her thigh between Kirin’s legs, exactly like her earlier fantasy.

Kirin finally managed to pull back, but not before she gave herself away, returning the kiss, nipping Pashi’s lip and grinding herself against her thigh. She came away with a gasp, her eyes wide.

“Pashi!”

“Don’t blame me, you started it,” her financee admonished. She brought her hands down, holding firmly to Kirin’s hips. There was so little clothing there to start with, just a short, fringed suede skirt and a scarf belt, both already damp from the water, and there was no hiding the involuntary movement of her hips, or the moans she gave as Pashi moved down to kiss her neck and suck a bruise into the soft skin of her shoulder.

Kirin shuddered, and Pashi halted immediately, her hands loosening and her eyes filling with a hint of concern.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just… You were there in my dreams and I thought…” she trailed off. “Kirin?”

“More,” she surprised herself with the hoarse whisper, finding Pashi’s eyes and blinking rapidly. “I’m not afraid of you. I could never be afraid of  _ you _ . Whatever you want, I…”

She blushed a delicate violet, and Pashi reached up and cupped her face, forcing her to make eye contact again. “Whatever I want? Like in my dreams with-”

“Yes. I know where to find such things. We can go shopping,” she laughed at Pashi’s startled face. “Trust me, there’s nothing you can think of that would embarrass me. I mean it. If you want to try something, we’ll try it.”

“Oh. Umm… Okay, that’s awesome, but now can we…?”

“Obviously,” she leaned down so her lips were at level with the fleshy bulb at the side of Pashi’s head and whispered in a practiced voice. “Take me however you wish.”

“Fuck.”

She did. They shed their clothes quickly, Pashi letting Kirin navigate her scarves and gauzy linens while she watched impatiently. Once they were both fully bare, she took her time, pulling Kirin up to kneel over her face while she drove her to spiraling heights of pleasure with her clever tongue, and then rolling on top of her and doing it again with her fingers while she sought her own release grinding down on Kirin's slim thigh.

"More?" She asked as they both panted, Pashi propped up on her elbows over Kirin's splayed body. She opened her eyes languidly, saw the heat in her lover's eyes, and nodded eagerly. Pashi turned, lying on her side, her warm breath ghosting over the exposed flesh between Kirin's legs, and she studied there positions carefully, smiling as she caught on. She reached eagerly with her hands for Pashi’s hips, and pulled her on top, greedily exploring the vulnerable heat perched so closely above her face.

"Is this okay?" She whispered, just to make sure. Pashi's answering moan, and strong hands gripping her hips as she returned the same kinds of caress was all she really needed, but her lover's words were still sweet to hear.

"Kirin, I could lick your gorgeous cunt all fucking day."

"Don’t be vulgar," she giggled.

"You like it when I talk dirty," her breath teased Kirin's wet entrance, and she sighed happily when Pashi’s tongue followed.

"If you're offering, I’m happy to return the favor," she paused to sweep her tongue over the swollen pearl fixed so perfectly above her mouth. "I'll eat you out every day for the rest of our lives, if you want."

"Kirin! Language!"

 

 

“So erm…” Sabine started hesitantly, just as Soran jumped to his feet.

“I’m just gonna… go for a long walk. Around the other side of the island. You guys um… Do whatever…” He took off briskly, so he was almost out of range when he heard Sabina give a soft laugh.

“Soran. Would you  _ like _ to stay?”

“What?” He froze.

“Sabine -”

“We talked about this.” They stared at each other heatedly, the blue-haired woman with her hands on her hips and Ezra biting his lip and backing away slightly from her steel gaze. “There’s no ending the Force Bond, right?”

“No,” Soran said quietly. She tilted her head, looking him up and down as if for the first time.

“Did you really become Dralnu’s apprentice?”

“Why? What’s this about?” She rolled her eyes and took a few steps towards him, making him instinctively back away. “Ezra?”

“Ah. Hmm. I think you’re scaring him, woman. If he wants to leave, let him leave.” He still refused to look up, and Soran, seeking desperately to avoid… whatever confrontation this was… made a delicate attempt to view the Jedi’s thoughts. His eyes widened, and he took a breath. And then another.

“It was my idea,” Sabine said softly. Ezra made a choked noise, finally managing to maintain eye contact for more than a second. There was something there, Soran thought, but he wasn’t going to jeopardize their relationship. At least, not right now. Maybe…

“Yeah, okay… Wow. Um.” He stepped back a few more feet, and Sabine frowned in disappointment, and he could tell it was for the wrong reasons. Soran shook his head. “I’m not… I’m not saying ‘no’. Don’t take it the wrong way. Just let me think, okay?”

She relaxed, giving him a measured nod. Ezra managed a brief smile before Soran turned and practically fled down the beach. It didn’t really help, the island wasn’t big enough. Or maybe he was just feeling things through the Force Bond… He managed to find a hut high up on the mountain where he could breathe, but remaining still was uncomfortable, and he finally growled in frustration and decided to take care of himself as he was most familiar with.

_ Do you want to watch? _

_ Motherfu- This is a mess. _

_ Yeah. So? _

_ Alright. Yes. _

Maybe he could just live on this stupid island for the rest of his life. Never have to look at Sabine or Ezra in the eye again. Never have to explain what the hell was going on to his cousin and her confounded empathic girlfriend. Skywalker lived alone here for years, cut himself off from the Force entirely.

Yeah, that was definitely the best choice. There’s no way they wouldn’t all hate him tomorrow, or he wouldn’t hate himself for blundering around in the Force and not being strong enough to control himself.

_ You’re as far away as physically possible. We offered for you to stay and you made us all think it over. It’s fine, Soran, relax. We’re all adults here. _

_ Fuck you, ghost. _

_ I thought you wanted to think about it…? _

Yes. He was definitely going to take up residence on this stupid island. Guard the first Jedi Temple. Hold down the fort for future apprentices. Someone should, right?

  
  
  


“Rise, Pashi Baasen, Knight-Errant of the Order of Ren.” There was no belt to bestow, since she already had one crafted for her by her adopted Wookie aunt, but he felt compelled to remind her that she wasn’t a true master yet. “You still have to make a lightsaber.”

“Lightsabers,” she corrected. “Jar’Kai, remember?”

He gave her thoughtful look, but she didn’t have time to press, as Kirin and then Sabine insisted on fierce hugs and the Madalorian procured a bottle of spirits from somewhere. Soran settled on the low stone wall beside Ezra.

“She brought me caf this morning,” he said with a fond smile at Sabine. Ezra said nothing, just raised his eyebrows slightly. “I expect you’ll want to face the Trials? Prove yourself even though we all know you’re a gods-curse  _ relic _ of Jedi traditions?”

“Jedi traditions. Not Knights of Ren.”

“I think I might stay here for a while, at least. I don’t know. Someone should be here, keep watch over the place, if we’re going to keep using it for ceremonies and Trials and such.” He glanced around as the unusually-warm night dropped over the island, leaving the height of the mountain first and reflecting off the chrome edging of Sabine’s ship. “You’re welcome to come back. To visit.”

“Probably be a bit lonely if we leave you here for too long. Those fish-women don’t seem too friendly.” He smirked, and Soran laughed.

“Not  _ that _ kind of ‘friendly’ anyway. But they’re peaceful enough. Mind their own business. It’s nice here.” Very quickly, so as not to lose his nerve, he laid his hand over his bondmate’s where it rested on the wall between them. “I’ll fight if I’m needed, but… I’m used to being alone.”

“We’ll be here, if you need company. A friendly visit once in a while. I’m sure there will be more apprentices to swear in and all that.” His eyes dropped down, but he didn’t remove his hand.

“I’m sure.”

“You might need a supply run once in a while, as well.”

“Sure. Easier to find you over the Bond than put in a request through the  _ Absolution, _ ” he agreed. “Sabine’s the current ruler of Mandalore, isn’t she?”

“For as long as she holds the Darksaber.”

“Probably a lot of demands on her time, then. I’m sure it’s not an easy position to hold onto.” He meant that sincerely, the woman was older than him by probably ten years, and she was fearsome in her own right. “I heard she fought Rey and won.”

“It was a draw, actually. According to Rey, anyway. Sabine maintains that she considers it a loss, but Master Rey is not about to take on the rulership of a planet along with her duties to the Knights.”

“To a Mandalorian, any battle that doesn’t end with a decisive victory is a loss,” Soran pointed out. He’d run into a few in his travels, and he could well imagine that the first Mandalorian to master Force proficiency had of course crafted such an intimidating and unique saber. Ezra chuckled.

“That’s very true.”

Their quiet reflections were abruptly interrupted by a rapid string of curses from the Mandalorian in question, followed by Pashi taking off at a dead, dangerous run, leaping and tumbling with the aid of the Force down the steep hillside, ignoring the steps altogether. Both Soran and Ezra were on their feet, Ezra shouting at the new Knight to be careful, while Sabine strode over and grabbed Soran’s arm, pressing her small wrist comm up to his ear.

“Go ahead, Rey,” she said quickly. Soran listened intently, seeing the looks of shock and fear on the two women’s faces. He was sure his expression grew to mimic theirs by the time Pashi and Ezra reached the ship and started the launch procedures.

“-we still don’t know what world it is, but the holovid’s spread like wildfire, everyone’s terrified. Commandant Sloane and General Dameron are sending officers to meet with us, but I don’t know what we’re going to tell them. We thought Ezra would have some idea…” She trailed off, clearly distracted by something else, while Soran glanced at Sabine in inquiry and she shook her head. Kirin twisted the new ring on her left hand nervously. “Anyway, if you’re sure Pashi and Kirin are well, we need all the help we can get.”

“Pashi and Ezra are getting the ship ready,” he assured her. “They’ll probably leave at first light.”

“They?”

“I’d like to remain. With your permission, I suppose.” He’d probably stay without their explicit permission, unless they really wanted to make an issue out of it. “I imagine we’ll need to put some of the others through the Trials soon, and it feels wrong to just leave it… Unattended.”

“Actually… I think that’s a wonderful idea, Soran. Master Luke’s things are still there, in the far hut with the door. It’d be nice to know somebody was… keeping watch.” He could hear Master Rey’s bright smile in her voice, and Kirin gave him an approving look. “I’ll talk to Ben. You’re right, we should have someone there.”

There was a roar of engines, and Kirin’s head jerked up in a way Soran was becoming familiar with. Pashi must have called to her through their Bond. She glanced at Soran and Sabine.

“You’d better go,” he encouraged them. Kirin took off without hesitation, but Sabine paused to slip the communicator from her wrist and press it into his hands.

“I know you and Ezra can talk anytime,” she said, squeezing his wrist in her strong fingers. He froze in shock as she leaned up to kiss him firmly, just long enough to feel him respond before stealing away with a smirk. “This is for you and me. And, you know, unforeseen circumstances.”

“Ah,” he mumbled intelligently.

“May the Force be with you, Soran Baasen.” She winked, and in spite of himself, he smiled back. Suddenly he remembered something, and he called out before she was out of range to share his plans for the lightsabers he’d taken from Dralnu. “I’ll take care of it, I promise.”

“Take care of yourself, too. And Ezra.” This time he winked, and she rolled her eyes, heading off with surprising speed for a woman of her age.

He watched, listening as their little ship breached the atmosphere, and then he made his way over to Skywalker’s closed up little hut, slowly examining the last worldly possessions of the exiled Jedi. Robes, blankets, a few scrolls, a mystical compass of some kind. It wasn’t much, but it was quiet and peaceful, and the blankets were warm. He had so rarely even spent enough time on one planet or another to sleep overnight, the prospect of sleeping on solid earth for the foreseeable future was comforting.

Let the young masters and the Rebel heroes take on Armitage Hux and his army of demon children. Maybe they’d get lucky and they could arrange for Thrawn’s fleet to take them out, kill two enemies with one stone, or whatever. Soran Baasen wasn’t old, he wasn’t even middle aged for a human, but he was  _ tired _ , and he was done with doing things. He’d played his part, fulfilled his destiny and destroyed Dralnu, taken vengeance for his mother, and he’d saved his young cousin and her bondmate from spiralling into darkness.

He supposed Kirin would say he was a terrible Sith, seeking to rest when there were so many opportunities to claim power in the galaxy at hand. But he was never truly a Sith. He was just a sensitive, too-smart kid who’d been given very little choice of paths to follow in his life. Now, finally, he did have the choice, and he found what he really wanted was just… peace.

Soran sat on the small stone bunk and smoothed his fingers over the rough blankets. It took a moment for him to sense the other presence there with him.

“Who are you and why are you here?”

“Are you Luke Skywalker?”

“I used to be.” The Ghost regarded him thoughtfully. “What are you doing here?”

Soran shrugged. “Looking for peace.”

“I hope you find it.”

“Me too.”

  
  


Kirin stood outside the cell for a long time, just looking at the mindless animal that had once been her tormentor. She didn't remember every man who touched her, but she remembered him. He made it last.

She wondered how long he would suffer this way before he begged for death, as her sister had. The two guards shifted uncomfortably at the sides of the cell, and Kirin locked down her shields more tightly, but she couldn't lock out  _ everyone _ .

_ Aren't you bored yet. _

_ He crushed your hands. _

_ I remember. _

_ You really don’t want to see him? _

_ No. Soran cut off his lekku. He's suffering, I’m sure. _

_ Yes, he is. _

_ Come to bed, Kirin. _

She sighed, glancing up at the beep of the blast door opening and familiar, heavy steps filling the hallway. Ben Solo was talented at a lot of things, but stealth was definitely not one of them. He didn't seemed surprised to see her at all. She glanced up, greeting her master with a quick nod before returning to her quiet observations.

“Cold in here,” Master Solo said eventually. Kirin nodded, pulling Pashi’s leather bomber jacket tighter around her. “Thalia said you changed his nutrition orders.”

“Nerf jerky has more protein.”

“Hmm.” He glanced over at her, his expressive face holding a trace of concern, and something else. A secret understanding shared between them. “Who put in the order for stimulants?”

Kirin blinked, turning to peer up at him in surprise. “Stimulants?”

“It wasn't you then.” He searched her face, but seemed satisfied she wasn't lying. Ben Solo surveyed their prisoner and shrugged. “Maybe it was medical.”

“Probably.” She allowed herself a slight, personal smile. “Are you here to relieve me?”

“Yes. Everyone else has put in their time. The trial is tomorrow morning.” His left eye twitched slightly. “I'd like to bring him in myself.”

“I'll see you then. Goodnight, Master Solo.”

“Sleep well, Kirin.”

“I will.”

  
  


Rey made certain everything was done fairly, and recorded in detailed notes for the sake of precedence. This was the first Judgment of the Knights of Ren, and even with an open-and-shut case like Dralnu, she wanted to make sure future generations had a good example. She sat in the center of a round, half-circle table, with Kirin on her left and Pashi beside her. Beside Pashi was Lt. Kaydel Connix, representing the Republic, which included Ryloth. On the right side, Thalia sat next to Rey, with Ezra between her and Lt. Mitaka at the far right end.

Front and center before them, Dralnu stood, held up on his feet by Ben on one side and Genji on the other. She made sure to dictate all of the people in attendance, along with their rank and titles, to the black BB unit she had reprogrammed to assist with the secretarial necessities of the Knights.

At Rey's signal, Thalia rose to her feet and read the charges out loud. Rey asked if anyone would like to speak in his defence, and waited a full sixty seconds before continuing. Rey nodded to Pashi, and they all listened as she gave her full testimony. She could see Lt. Connix grimacing, and wondered what sort of impression the Republic and First Order officers were going to take away from this. Technically, they were only here to observe, to ensure fair treatment, but Rey and Ben knew how crucial those observations would be when it came to either government's trust in the Knights as an organization.

When Pashi was finished, Kirin gave her testimony as well. It was more brutal than Pashi's by far, but blessedly short. When she sat down, Rey heard a man’s voice exhale in relief, but she wasn't sure if it was Bridger or Mitaka.

She played the holovid testimony of Poe Dameron, Jade Penthe, and Teekala Asajj. Thalia showed slides of physical evidence, some of which even Rey couldn't stomach for long. There were a lot of images from Arkanis that the Knight-Captain had collected before they blasted the place to ash from space.

Finally, Rey called for a vote. Exile came first. When that judgment passed unanimously, she called for execution. That passed unanimously as well.

Because they were Force users, the manner of execution was not debated. Rey called for any last words, or any witness who wished to speak up, and when she was met with silence, she called for the vote again. When it passed as swiftly as the first, she nodded to Genji. The Wookie drew his lightsaber from the belt that crossed his body, held it just between the man’s vacant eyes, and activated it. Dralnu’s body slumped further, and they lowered it onto a stretcher, quickly covering it with a plain white sheet.

Kirin stood at the viewport, watching as the white-shrouded corpse was jettisoned into outer space. She felt her bondmate come up beside her, and reached out her hand without looking. Pashi clasped it in both of hers, her warms palms a small pleasure over Kirin's chilled fingers.

“Are you okay?”

She turned, sliding a hand over Pashi’s sleek  _ lekku _ and tracing the etched bangle secured with end of the tail tucked over her opposite shoulder. Pashi leaned in just as Kirin tugged, and their lips met in warm, familiar dance.

“I am so very more than okay, little nightbird.”

“Good, because we need to talk,” she sighed, leaning back to peer down at Kirin with her dark human eyes.

“Do we now?”

“Yes. We have a wedding to plan.” Kirin's eyes widened and she squeezed Pashi's hand excitedly, a slow smile spreading over her face. “I might not have told you, but my family is sort of… really wealthy. So… If you want a full ceremony with dresses and food and free drinks on Cantonica or a beachfront thing with a bonfire on Kashyyyk… We can do that.”

Kirin studied her thoughtfully. She had assumed Pashi would just want a small, quick affair with Thalia or Kylo-Ben overseeing it, but an actual, real ceremony… with a dress and flowers… She wanted it. She didn't think she did, had never in her wildest dreams considered that it might be a possibility, but now that the offer was there…

“I want to go to Ryloth,” she said suddenly. “I know it's just a dry desert, but I want to see it at least once in my life. And then I want… a real wedding. A dress and flowers and…” She gestured expansively. “All of it. Somewhere green and beautiful, like Naboo.”

“My mother's going to love you,” Pashi grinned, pulling her close and tucking Kirin's head under her chin. “We’ll go to Ryloth and meet her. I have a house there. Uncle Vasto left it to me. Well, it's actually a cave, but… We’ll meet my mom and Aunt Jade and they'll help us plan and… Have you ever been to Takodana?”

“I thought it was a pirate’s nest," she said in confusion.

“Only for the best pirates. Maz doesn't hold with slavery or prostitution. She's a cool lady. Anyway, it's green and the castle is on a lake…”

“A castle? We can get married in a castle?”

“Anything you want, Kirin”, she promised, rocking her gently in her arms. “Anything you want.”  
  
  


 

Rey’s hands were trembling so badly, she nearly spilled hot water all over the table. Ben only watched quietly from where he stood, bare-chested and looming in the doorway. Her eyes shot to his and then down just as quickly.

“Rey. Remember your safe word.” His voice was low and distant, and she had to rest her hands on the table and take a deep breath. “You’re alright. It’s only a few hours.”

“I know.” She peered down into the dark liquid, breathing in the soothing steam.

“If you want to wait -”

“No.” This time she did make eye contact. “I won’t be able to focus if I feel this debt between us. I need to feel…”

“Dominated? Possessed?  _ Mine _ ?”

“I was going to say  _ balanced _ ,” she sighed, sipping the tea tentatively. It was sweet, but in an almost over-powering way. It coated her tongue like syrup. She sensed him coming up behind her, his warm hands covering her bare shoulders.

“But you want it. You want me to take you and fuck you and dominate you.” Rey closed her eyes against his intense gaze, and he put a knuckle under her chin, forcing her head up to look at him. “Say it.”

“I want you,” she tried, knowing that wasn’t quite enough for him. She took another sip, feeling his grip on her tighten.

“You do,” he agreed. “Finish it so we can explore  _ how  _ you want me.”

She closed her eyes and brought the cup to her lips again, swallowing the rest of syrupy-sweet tea with a grimace. In the space of one breath and the next, she felt suddenly weightless, as if the ship’s gravitation simulators had all shut down.

“Oh!” She sank to her knees, palms spread over the floor as her balance failed her. She could still feel him, dimly, but she felt half-blinded, unable to tell if her vision was actually affected or if it was just the loss of sensory information she naturally drew upon with the Force.

“I didn’t think it would be so…” She wet dry lips with her tongue, turning as Ben knelt beside her, his eyes searching her face. Instinctively, Rey reached for him with the Force, but it was like trying to grasp water with her bare hands. She whispered his name, reaching for him desperately, hands sliding over his chest and around his neck as he pulled her into his arms.

“I didn’t hear a safe word, Rey,” he said carefully. She closed her eyes, breathing shallowly.

“No. No, I’m okay.” He let go of her abruptly, rising to his feet. “Ben?”

“No.”

“Kylo?”

“Tell me, Rey. Tell me what you want me to do.” He towered over her, using his considerable height to lend to his already imposing persona. She looked up and met his cool gaze, noting the wide pupils and intense focus.

“I want you to dominate me. Make me yours.” She felt her own breath catch, but kept her eyes on his. “Master.”

“Good. Good girl.” He rewarded her with a slight smile. “I’m proud of you for saying it, so I’m going to give you a little reward.”

He unfastened his pants and freed his already hard length, holding her head still beside it with his long fingers gripping her hair.

“Do you want my cock, Rey?”

She eyed him, practically panting already. Fuck, how could this  _ possibly _ be so erotic? She’d had him in her mouth now more times than she could count, why did it feel so different? But it did, and she wanted it, swallowing and nodding up at him eagerly.

“Answer me.”

“Yes. Yes, Master, I would like to suck your cock.” She looked up as she spoke, a slight smile touching her lips as she caught his sudden intake of breath. Apparently it felt different to him, too.

She remembered when he had still pretended she was his apprentice while he sat in his command chair on the bridge of his ship, forcing her kneel submissively. It had been so erotic, she was soaking wet half the time, and he couldn't stand without adjusting his pants awkwardly. This was similar, but more intimate. Rey took a long, deep breath.

“Do it. And say thank you.” He hissed and tipped his head back as she licked all the way up his length.

“Thank you for letting me please you, Master,” she said sweetly. Force help her. She liked this.  _ He _ liked it, and she loved that even in this weakened, submissive state, she still had that power over his body.

“Do not stop until I tell you.” He guided her with his hand, and she took him as deep as she could, closing her eyes as he pushed for more, until tears formed above her cheeks and she struggled to breathe. He was merciless, holding her head in both hands and thrusting with his hips more forcefully than he ever had before, ignoring her muffled whimpers of surprise and discomfort. 

“Use your tongue, Rey, don’t be lazy.”

She whined, doing her best to please him despite the punishing pace and the inability to find her center the way she was accustomed to. He groaned as he pumped into her mouth, and his sounds encouraged her as she acclimated to the task, applying her tongue and relaxing her throat. He made a feral noise as her hands grasped his ass, digging in to better leverage her mouth.

“Fuck,  _ yes _ , Force, Rey… You’re such a good little slut…” She knew he was close, but she had already assumed he would want her to take it, to hold him in her mouth and swallow it all, so she didn’t stop. She did the opposite - she worked him with familiar ease, hands digging into his flesh, tongue pressed underneath him at the right spot. He climaxed exactly as she expected, and he whispered praise and stroked her hair as she licked him clean.

“You’re so perfect, Rey.” He moved away before he softened completely in her mouth, and she remained on her knees, waiting, patient and relaxed. “Look at me,” he ordered after a minute.

She met his gaze obedient, but unafraid. His eyes traveled over her disheveled state appreciatively, dark and possessive.

“Take your clothes off and sit on the couch,” he commanded after a moment. She followed his orders quickly, watching him disappear into the bedroom. He left her longer than she expected, and Rey wondered if she should remind him that their time was limited. She glanced at the display on the comm panel set into the side table. They still had an hour or so by her reckoning, so she decided to be patient a little longer.

He came back with their silk ties, and she turned her face to him expectantly. His eyes swept over her naked body, and even though she’d been sleeping in the same bed for almost a year now, had his mouth on nearly every part of her and his gentle hands bathe her, his gaze still burned through her. She saw he had removed all of his clothes as well, and his cock swelled again as he looked her over. Somewhat breathlessly, he came to stand before her, and she looked up, eager to see what he intended.

“Lift up your feet and take hold of your ankles.” She frowned, not quite sure how he wanted her positioned, and he lifted her knees to her chest and showed her. “Like this. Force, you’re beautiful. And wet.”

“Only for you, Master.” Heat flared in his eyes and she licked her lips at his appreciative gaze. Gently, but firmly, he bound her wrists to her ankles, angling her hips until he was satisfied with how she was displayed, and Rey panted, her eyes following his every move. He slipped a finger through her wide open sex and tasted her as she watched.

“You want me to fuck you, scavenger?” He hissed, and she nodded, watching his eyes widen.

“Please, Master,” she added desperately. 

Good gods, she felt vulnerable, he had never tied her this way before, and she wondered why not, because it felt fucking amazing. Oh, it hurt muscles she wasn’t accustomed to using in quite this way, and something deep in her mind whined in fear, but she let it go. There was no place for fear or discomfort here, there was just  _ him _ , Ben, Kylo, her husband and lover, bondmate and master.

She hadn’t noticed he had anything else in his hand until he opened it, and then she sucked in a gasp of shock.

“Rey? I want you to be very still and very quiet. If you move or make a noise…” He used the Force to lift the small, razor-sharp piece of steel, pressing the flat of the blade against the top of her breast. “Understand?”

“Yes, Master.” Her eyes darted from him to the tiny knife and back. Briefly she considered tapping out, calling on her safe word and just asking him to fuck her without the threat, but… A part of her wondered… Would he, really?

She wanted to find out.

“Still and quiet,” he repeated as he eased his length into her. She fought each breath, holding in every small sound that came into her throat, but when he thrust into her fully and then jerked back, she couldn’t stop the instinctive move of her hips, chasing him.

“Rey,” he warned. She looked up at him, suddenly defiant. Eyes locked on his, she shifted ever-so-slightly, bringing a low growl from his lips. “That was on purpose. Answer me!”

“Yes.”

“You moved against me on purpose?” He thrust into her hard after he asked, and she nodded, her eyes closed. “Rey, look at me. I’m going to punish you now.”

Again, she gave only the slightest nod, but kept her eyes open and on his. He thrust inside her, filling her completely, his hands braced over where her head rested. “Don’t look,” he said almost gently. “You may cry out, if you need to.”

She closed her eyes, giving only a soft gasp when she felt the slight sting of the blade. Immediately he leaned down to lick and kiss her skin, and she did moan slightly at the touch of his mouth.

“Look at me,” he commanded again. She did. “Be good now.”

Rey nodded, closing her eyes again as he thrust into her, over and over, increasing his pace until she felt herself on the edge of climax, only to slow down suddenly, denying her release. She could feel him in her mind, following the rise and fall of her pleasure, and she whimpered again when it was finally too much, his torture of her mind and body overwhelming her senses.

“Rey-”

“Please,” she broke finally, begging. “Master, please -”

“You want to come? You’ve disobeyed me twice now.” Rey gazed up at him, pleading with wide, desperate eyes. “You may speak, Rey.”

“Punish me, Master, but please let me… I can’t… It’s too much.”

“Take your punishment silently and I’ll let you finish. You can be as loud as you want.” This time the knife grazed her earlobe, just enough to sting, and he soothed it quickly by drawing it into his mouth. She remained still and silent, but she couldn’t help the way her body trembled, sweat breaking out over her forehead and between her breasts. He drew back, eyes searching over her body, seeing how ruined and desperate she had become.

“Good girl. You took that so well… I’m so pleased with you, Rey.”

He thrust into her suddenly, his hands seeking her hips to hold her just right as he searched her mind for the perfect angle. One slick thumb rubbed into the needy apex above where he rocked into her, and she cried out suddenly at the feel of him in her mind, drawing out her pleasure from her, unresisted.

“Kylo, please -  _ Oh! _ ” 

She sobbed as it crashed over her, sending her soaring, and his presence filled her mind as he reached his own pinnacle, sharing just as they always did, different and under his control, but still incredible. He removed her bindings as she shook with the force of her climax, gently rubbing her thighs and thrusting until she collapsed back with exhaustion.

“Shhh… Rey, you were wonderful,” he murmured, gathering her into his arms. Her body still twitched weakly with the last aftershocks of her pleasure, and she leaned her face into his shoulder, unable to move or speak. “It’s alright, I’ve got you, let’s get you cleaned up…”

She was vaguely aware of him continuing to speak to her, gently singing her praises and telling her what he was doing, so she wasn’t shocked by the spray of the shower. Her knees folded when he tried to stand her up, and she giggled softly when he caught her.

“I can barely move, Ben,” she complained, struggling to cling to his neck as he washed her.

“You’re talking, that’s progress at least.” He sounded relieved, and she reached a shaky hand out to his face, wanting to see his eyes. “Shhh, it’s okay, I can hold you.”

“I know,” she said, giving up and resting her head against his chest. “I know you’ll take care of me.”

She could feel his surprise filling her mind suddenly, and an involuntary shudder overtook her as the whole world seemed to shift. Colors became brighter, sounds sharper, and she took what seemed like the first truly deep breath in hours. His thoughts poured out to her, and she sighed in relief as the Force Bond came back into its full strength.

“I’m fine, Ben. Really, I’m just…” she sighed. “Sore and exhausted. It wasn’t too much, I swear.”

He caught her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing each finger before he clutched her to him and turned off the shower.

“Okay, okay. Just… I’m just going to dry you off and take you to bed…” She sighed happily, letting him care for her until he laid her gently on her stomach in the bed. He left the sheets and blankets down, and she turned her head curiously.

“Ben?”

“Stay like that form a minute, please. I don’t want you to wake up stiff and sore,” he explained, returning quickly with a jar she recognized from their practice room. The physicians had prescribed it for him after his injuries, and he’d kept some on hand since, finding it was extremely useful for sore muscles of all kinds. She sighed and relaxed as he massaged the sharp-scented ointment into her shoulders and the back of her thighs.

_ Thank you _ , she couldn’t quite manage to form words out loud.

_ Thank you, Rey. Thank you for - _

_ Ben. That was the best… I haven’t… so fully since… the day at the hotel when we found our center… Thank you for staying in my mind… _

_ You said you missed it before… the sharing… ...you really came that hard? _

“Mmmm,” she managed out loud. “I love you.”

“I  _ adore _ you.”

_ I know. _

  
  
  


“It’s Lothal,” Sabine said suddenly, jumping to her feet. Frowning, Captain Phasma paused the holovid while the other woman pointed out a crumbling structure in the background. “The ruins of the Imperial mining facility-”

“I see it,” Ezra said quickly. He sat back in his seat with a curse. “Where’s Zeb?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t spoken to him since you first contacted me -”

“Go,” he responded to her unspoken question, and the Mandalorian swiftly made for the exit while the others sat in shock.

“The eyes,” Thalia said softly. Genji warbled soothingly beside her, but his amber eyes were worried. Across from her, Kaydel Connix shook her head in disbelief.

“Wait, where’s Lothal?” Finn questioned, glancing back and forth between the two. Ezra shook his head, sighing.

“It’s my home,” he murmured.

“That’s another planet,” Lt. Connix said, staring at the frozen image of the advancing, vacant-eyed children. 

They were led by a woman, a senator from Onderon who might have once been handsome and noble, with the same blacked-out eyes and cracked flesh that afflicted Armitage Hux in the very first recording. She was standing in a field full of grazing animals, surrounded by the youngest members of the small farming village, held hostage by darkly-burning blades.

The young officer looked around the room, and her eyes settled on the pensive face of Ben Solo. Ben  _ Organa- _ Solo, as she knew him. “What are we going to do?”

“Whatever we can,” Pashi Baasen responded firmly. Her hand found Kirin’s under the table, and the other woman smiled faintly.

“Don’t worry, Lieutenant. Look around you. Do we look defenseless to you? There are seven Knights in this room, including Ben and Rey Solo.” Kirin gestured to Finn and Captain Phasma. “The First Order is sitting at the same table as ex-Stormtroopers. Ezra Bridger is back from the dead. The Force is stronger with us than it has been in decades, and this time we have all the strength of the Jedi and the Sith combined.”

“Like Commandant Sloane and General Dameron have indicated by sending their representatives here, we are stronger united than we ever were separately,” Ben continued, sounding so much like Leia, Kaydel Connix stared in surprise. “The dark and the light-”

“Order and chaos,” Rey said, winking at Finn. He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever comes, we’ll stand together.”

“Rousing words,” Phasma quipped sarcastically, “but do you have an actual plan?”

“Funny you should ask,” Ezra Bridger spoke grimly, eyes on the First Order envoy. “Your commandant recommended you for a very delicate mission -”

“Oh, no. No, no, no, please tell me you are  _ not _ suggesting-” Finn’s shouting was cut short by a sharp look from Rey.

“Don’t jump to conclusions, Finn. Of course we don’t trust Captain Phasma to go on her own.” She grinned, and he heaved a grudging sigh. “You’re going with her.”

_ “What? _ ”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have an escort,” Ben said soothingly. Finn was, of course, not reassured at all. He glanced down the table at Phasma, who looked equally uncomfortable, even with her mask and cybernetic eye.

“Do I even want to know?”

“I don’t know, Finn. Do you think you can trust me again?”

“Wait - You -” He blinked rapidly at Rey’s bright smile.

Phasma shook her head, peering over at her. “You must be aware that he  _ despises _ Force-users. We can’t risk any of you if we are to confront Armitage and those… children…”

“Don’t worry. We’re going to stay on the ship,” she explained.

“He’ll have it searched,” Phasma countered.

“Yeah, we’ve got hidden compartments in our hidden compartments,” Pashi said with a grin. “My dad’s the most successful smuggler in the galaxy.”

“So - just to be clear,” Finn started, pausing to make sure everyone was going to let him continue. “Me, Phasma, Rey and Pashi are going to attempt to rendezvous with  _ Grand Admiral Thrawn _ ?”

“My dad’s going too,” Pashi corrected. “And the droid that comes with the ship.”

“Great, great. Why do we need to do this again?”

“Because he’s the best strategist in the galaxy, and he  _ hates _ the Force with all of his icy, frozen heart,” Ezra explained. “Of course, being the best strategist in the galaxy… He’s most certainly going to stab us in the back the first chance he gets.”

“Thus the smugglers and the hidden Force users,” Phasma said with a nod. “I don’t like it, but the Jedi is correct. If we can obtain his assistance, it would be of immeasurable value.”

“What if he doesn’t want to assist us? What if he decides to side with Hux and his demon-children?” Finn demanded.

“No strategist worth the title would cast aside pawns this early in the game,” Ben Solo assured them. “Snoke wouldn’t have.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks Solo,” he grumbled. “I have a really bad feeling about this.”

“I concur, Captain Tico,” Phasma said crisply.

Finn stared down the table, shocked to find her agreeing with him, or even speaking as if his opinion had any merit at all.

“You know, what, I changed my mind. We can totally do this.”

  
  
  
  


**\--------- End of Part II -------------**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part III - Destiny is Just the Beginning will start after August. I’m going on vacation for a week to California (Yay!) and I have some other projects I’d like focus on - my a/b/o au is called A Tale of Tooth and Claw and is up here if you like that stuff - I’m also working on a Jedi Leia cannon divergence and a very different alternate reality with medieval faeries (Kylo has wings!) that I will start posting soon.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! Comments make my day! :D

**Author's Note:**

> I have a Tumblr account now @khawapashitheelder so say hi, follow me if you want, just remember I’m not so good at all the social media, being at the ripe old age of 35-ish. I do post updates for all my ongoing projects and sometimes pictures of culinary creations I’m proud of, if you're into that ;)


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